Please, please, please, please.
上帝保佑 菩萨保佑 佛祖保佑
Okay, what is this?
We're making sure I'm tall enough
to ride all the rides at Disneyland.
Without having to spike up my hair.
I have been waiting for this day
ever since the doctor pointed
to the ultrasound of your mom's womb and said,
"Either that's a fifth limb,
or you got a boy."
All right... I want everybody to eat a lot at home
because "The happiest place on earth"
is also home to the most expensive churro on earth.
Come on. This is gonna be awesome.
Who doesn't love a day at Disneyland?
Can't you and mom go without me?
You're the kid. I think we need you to get in.
Well, it couldn't come on a worst day.
The technology sector is tanking.
We're doing a stock market project in school,
and today's the last day.
We all get a thousand fake dollars to invest,
and as the market closed yesterday,
I may not be the tallest or the most athletic,
but someday I will be the richest,
which is good because the ladies love that,
and I've grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle.
Do you really wants girls who only want you for your money?
I'd like to have that option.
Manny, put the stock away and put your ears on.
曼尼 别管股市了 把米老鼠耳朵戴上
Mom, I don't think you have to wear one of these.
Be a kid! Put them on!
Really? Those shoes?
Do you know how much walking you have to do at Disneyland?
Why do you think they have so many fat people on scooters?
I like wearing the high heels. I'm fine.
It's just like that jacket you refuse to bring
when I say, "Take a jacket."
"Don't tell me what to do! I'm fine!"
Huh? And you're not fine.
You're cold and shivering,
and I look like the jerk who won't give his wife a jacket,
so I do, and then I'm cold and shivering,
and I brought a jacket.
Are you done with your boring jacket story?
Because we're going to hit traffic.
Tell you one thing. I'm not gonna give you my shoes.
Ah! That must be Ethan.
Didn't I tell you?
My friend Bethenny's nephew is coming with us today.
He moved to town to go to college.
He's very nice, very smart, big hockey player.
他人超和善 超聪明 还会玩冰球
I know what you're doing.
Really? She was so subtle.
Haley has a thing for bad boys,
which was so me.
So if she's going to be leaving the nest soon,
we'd prefer it was not on the back of a motorcycle.
My college roommate had a motorcycle.
Man, I had some good times on the back of that thing.
I can't believe you did this.
I'm not gonna babysit Bethenny's nephew. Alex can have him.
Okay, I don't need your rejects.
Hi, Ethan! I'm so glad you could make it.
Thanks for inviting me.
my 14-year-old sister. Ethan, was it?
她是我14岁的小妹 伊森 对吧
And that's my grandpa and his wife Gloria
and her son Manny.
Wow. You guys have a big family.
Yeah, who wouldn't?
Where'd you find him, a Tommy Hilfiger catalog?
He got a 2200 on his S.A.T.S.
Okay, did you get him for Haley or for you?
You know, I haven't been here since dad brought us when we were kids.
Ohh, yeah. Remember? You cried in the Abraham Lincoln thing.
对 记得吗 你还为那亚伯拉罕·林肯哭了
Hey, he's a great president,
and it was the first robot I ever saw.
When Claire and Mitchell were young,
their mom and I were gonna take them to Disneyland.
But that morning, Dede and I got in this huge fight
over something or other-- surprise, surprise--
and I ended up taking them on my own.
Claire's biggest fear was running into the evil queen.
My biggest fear was that I married her.
Okay, people over 46 inches,
first stop--Indiana Jones!
Have fun on the teacups, Lily.
Okay, let's do this.
Oh, okay, wait just a second here, everybody.
Is that a leash?
No, it's a child safety tether. This way, sweetie.
不 是孩童安全系绳 走这边 乖女儿
It--it's a leash.
Don't--don't judge us.
We have a runner.
Lily is going through a phase--
at least... Oh, we hope it's a phase.
She bolts every chance she gets.
So we had no choice
to put her on a child safety tether.
And we did have a choice.
Lily, sweetie, don't pull.
莉莉 宝贝 别拉绳子
If I'd had known you guys were gonna do this,
I'd have brought Stella.
It was Cam's idea.
So much for the united front.
I'll have you know, despite all your jokes, Lily enjoys it.
告诉你 你尽管笑吧 莉莉自己享受就好
Okay, sweetie, you're not helping. You're not helping.
宝贝 别学狗叫 你就别添乱了
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You guys, is that Dylan?
我的天 你们快看 那不是迪兰吗
Uh, what are you... I didn't even know you were in town.
Know you were in town.
This town. Anaheim.
I thought you were still in Wyoming.
You know, I, uh, gotta meet up with some friends
and I'm... really late.
It was nice to see you, Haley,
And dude I don't know.
I'm Ethan. It's nice to meet you.
And polite dude I don't know.
Did Haley used to date that guy or something?
Yep. You date her, that's the club you're joining. Mm.
没错 你要是和她交往 就和他是同等级的货色了
Of course he would still look amazing.
Does he? I hadn't noticed.
Did you know that Ethan plays the trumpet?
No great surprise with those lips of his, huh?
Coo-coo-ca-choo, Mrs. Robinson.
Okay, buddy, moment of truth.
This is gonna be so awesome! Yeah!
In 45 minutes, this is gonna be so awesome!
I have some underperformers I have to unload,
and I don't have access to a computer.
Log in as moneydelgado--
By all means, Reuben,
go get a popsicle while the nikkei closes.
I wanna be a pauper.
Mom, my stocks just took a dive.
Your phone is about to take a dive.
Come on! Where do we want to go next?
Oh! Ethan and I want to try the haunted mansion.
There is no you and Ethan.
Let's go to the jungle cruise. It's right there.
Why? Tired of walking in those heels?
No. You tired of being with a hot wife?
Well, well, well. What do you know?
哎呦 你瞅瞅 可真没料到
Another caring parent with a child safety tether.
See? We're not the only people who use them.
Hi! Aren't they adorable?
Oh, and look at your cutie!
Oh, well, yes. She just wanted to say hi.
Oh. Sorry. They're a little feisty today.
Oh! No problem. She's friendly.
Oh, his--his name's Rex, huh?
Oh, okay. Lily, no, sweetie. Lily, um...
那什么 莉莉 宝贝 莉莉...
Oh. Sorry. He--he just gets excited.
Oh, yeah, no--oh, no problem.
Lily, stop moving, sweetie. Stop moving.
莉莉 别跑了 亲爱的 停下来
Okay, you got this.
Okay. Okay. Good girl! Good girl! Sorry.
好嘞 好嘞 乖女儿 乖女儿 抱歉
You know what the fight with Dede was about?
I taped a football game over an episode of "Dallas."
Who bails on a family trip to Disneyland
over something like that?
Ironically, Dallas was playing in the game.
And I remember pointing that out to her,
and then I remember
a video cassette flying at my head.
You do not play the cello.
I do. Even geekier--I'm good.
是的 虽说有点怪咖 我不在乎
Okay, answer me this--
I will answer you this.
Why do people carry cellos around?
You know, people aren't expected to lug a piano around.
What's the cutoff?
I know, right? Like, go where the cello is.
可不是嘛 大提琴 任我行
Oh, look at this. I think I've inadvertently
set up my 14-year-old with a college boy.
The boy was your doing?
Yes. Yes, and he was perfect,
是啊 是啊 完美的男子
and Haley was into him until,
of course, we ran into Dylan.
I mean, come on, dad. What are the odds of that happening?
It's a small world.
- You see what I did there? - I did.
- 'Cause it's a ride. - I got it. Got it, dad. I got it.
-一把年纪疯狂玩 -我懂 我懂 老爸
It's so frustrating because...
I know I can't run Haley's life for her,
but if she would let me, I would be so good at it.
Right, 'cause parents always know what's best for their kids.
You remember that nice girl at the office
I tried to fix Mitch up with?
No offense, dad, but I think I probably have
a better sense of what my kids need than you did.
I think it's cute you think that.
It was so awesome!
The jeep was jerking around...
And--and there was a lot of sharp turns and big drops.
It just kept going.
Great. Why wouldn't I be?
Because you're kinda leaning on me.
Well, isn't that what a marriage is?
Ohh. Oh, Alex, stop touching him.
Oh. You look like hell.
I'm feeling a little dizzy.
I think that ride did something to me.
The fluid in your inner ear is thickening.
That's what happens when you get old.
Yeah, you can't take the motion.
I gotta pop a dramamine to get in my swivel chair.
That is not it. I'm king of the roller coasters.
I think I just put
too big of a whipped cream smile on my pancake this morning.
You guys wanna go on matterhorn?
Luke, I think me and your dad are gonna sit this one out,
maybe get one them big pickles.
No! You're gonna have to eat that pickle on your own, Jay.
不 腌黄瓜你自己吃吧 杰
I still got a few good years left.
I'll race you there!
I'm good. I'm good.
Okay, everybody's looking at us.
I haven't been judged by this many people
since I forgot my canvas bags at whole foods.
Yeah, well, maybe they're staring
because we have what they want.
Whoa! Oh, a pet daughter. 'Cause that...
You know, I don't care what people think.
If I thought it would keep my daughter safe,
I would have a kangaroo pouch sewn into my midriff.
That's gonna work out really well for you as a single parent.
Okay, we just got a glare from Mr. Socks-with-sandals.
All right, that's it.
Lily, I'm gonna take off this leash.
I think it's a mistake.
But I don't want you to run away,
'cause that would be very, very unsafe,
and if we lost you,
you'd be very scared, and we'd be very sad. Okay?
你会惊恐万分 我们会悲痛欲绝 好吗
See, Cam? You treat her like a human being
看 小卡 你若把她当个人对待
and she acts like one.
Oh, great. Now she's chasing squirrels. Lily!
这下好了 她去追松鼠去了 莉莉
Hey! How was Splash Mountain?
It was great! Maybe we go again.
No, thanks. There was no reception in there.
You know how many bars I had? Zip-a-Dee-doo-dah.
Reuben, talk to me!
Must be nice to get out of those shoes for a minute.
I don't know what you talking about.
Nothing. I'm just making conversation.
I bought one of those souvenir photos
with you and Manny on the ride.
Boy, it looks like you're having a good time.
Wait a minute. What's that in your hand?
I'm not even sure that that is us, Jay.
Why are you walking around in pain?
Just admit the shoes were a bad idea.
I am not in pain.
I just didn't want my favorite walking shoes to get wet there.
Well, we've gotta meet everybody in Tomorrowland,
so we'd better get movin'
'cause it's all the way on the other side of the park.
You just try to keep up with us.
I can't take this.
Dad, throw your hands up! It's fun!
爸 把手松开 太刺激了
Oh, yeah, it is fun!
Reuben, if you heard about that stock at a birthday party,
it's already too late.
Gloria, sit down for a second.
You may not be in pain...
But I'm in pain just thinking you're in pain.
So humor me for one minute.
There wasn't a big selection at the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique.
[《Bibbidi Bobbidi Bu》是迪斯尼动画《灰姑娘》的插曲]
I cannot walk around in public with these...
Things. They're so yellow and so ugly.
And... and they're so softy
Jay, what is this?
Thank you for going shopping for me.
Thank you for worrying about my feet.
Thank you for giving me your jacket when I'm cold.
You're such a good man, Jay.
I didn't expect you to be so...
Why are you so surprised?
Now please don't go all Latin on me when I say this.
you get angry from time to time
because you're always wearing...
Can you get me a couple of more?
Maybe they have purple?
Whatever you want, honey.
it seemed like you were pretty into Ethan
until Dylan showed up.
Don't get me wrong. Ethan's nice, but he's no Dylan.
别误会我 伊森人很好 但他不是迪兰
Maybe that's a good thing?
Why? Because Dylan's a free spirit?
He's too edgy for you?
He plays by his own rules?
I beg of you to turn around
and experience with me the greatest moment of my life.
Your rebel boyfriend's a Dapper Dan.
Maybe that's not him.
It certainly seems like him.
Oh, my God. He looked like
those old pictures of dad from high school.
So anyway, I've really been into street art lately.
Oh, there's a really great exhibit downtown. I'll take you.
Oh, on what, your razor scooter?
Ethan! I've been looking all over for you!
I remember I was on Pirates of the Caribbean,
and this whole fight with Dede was really eating at me.
And there was this angry animatronic wench
with a rolling pin, chasing some poor pirate around.
They were on a track, running in circles,
so he could never get away from her.
And I remember thinking,
I can't save you, buddy,
but I'm getting off this ride.
...and--and we were going around a corner,
and I was screaming and I swallowed a bug.
Oh, being tail is everything that I dreamed it would be.
What should we do next?
Where we gonna sit down?
The ground. Here, this is good right here. Oh!
Are you okay, dad?
I hate to tell you this,
but these rides are killing me.
B-but you're the king of roller coasters.
Something happens when you get older.
Guess you can't take it.
One of my favorite things in the world
is doing stupid fun stuff with you,
like pogo stick basketball
or trying to get a swing to go all the way around.
Next time, we should sit on a fire extinguisher.
Yes, or a bottle of coke and some mentos.
Honestly, though, the way I'm feeling right now,
I don't know if there's gonna be a next time.
Dad, we can always find cool stuff to do.
Even if you're old and in a wheelchair,
I'll take you to the mall
and push you as fast as you wanna go.
And we'll pop some wheelies, too.
And I'll take you to the top of a huge hill and just let go.
Okay, we'll nail down the specifics later,
but that... That's really nice.
So do you still wanna talk or--
No, go. Ride Space Mountain.
Uh, at the end, when they take a picture,
do something hilarious for both of us.
You're gonna die.
When you see it, not 'cause you're old.
Lily! Lily, stop!
莉莉 莉莉 别跑
Dad! Dad, grab her!
爸爸 爸爸 抓住她
Hey, I gotcha, you little monkey!
Hey, Cam, I got her.
嘿 小卡 我逮住她了
We're in Fantasyland. Where are you?
Okay, it's toontown,
You've been watching too much PBS.
All right, honey, come here.
好吧 宝贝 过来
I don't like this thing.
Well, I don't like running like a crazy person
through Downton Disney--
I don't know what to do.
Well, the leash is not the answer. You want my help?
'Cause I can fix this for you in about two minutes.
Come on, baby girl. Come with me.
来吧 小姑娘 跟我走
We'll be right back.
Where we going? Oh, this way?
Manny, you don't sound very happy
for a kid that is flying an elephant.
I lost to Durkas. It's not fair.
He wanted to buy IBM because he thought it was funny to say.
Well, I'm glad that you lost.
Fake money has changed you.
Where is the Manny that used to stop to smell the roses?
He took a bath on a solar start-up in San Jose.
You have been so busy burying your face in your phone
that you barely said hello to your family,
you gave Winnie the Pooh the cold shoulder,
and you haven't even noticed
that pretty girl in the blue elephant
that has been smiling at you.
Not my type, but still it's nice to be noticed.
when you're not burying your head in business?
You're right. I'll try to be more present.
What the heck's on your feet?
They're slippers! They're like pillows.
Look. Your dad got her baby high heels,
which we said we were never gonna let her wear.
You look gorgeous, sweetie.
Oh, my gosh. You felt people judged us before?
Wait till they meet little Miss Anaheim.
Who cares? Look at her. She can barely move.
You know what? She's got pretty good gams for a 3-year-old.
知道吗 三岁的女娃就有这美腿 真难得
Got it. Thanks, little John.
好了 谢谢 约翰熊
Ooh, they have corn dogs.
We gotta get one before we go back. They are legendary.
I'll be right back.
I'm in the bear suit. I borrowed it to talk to you.
Why are you dancing like that?
This is what little John does. Maybe.
I don't know what movie this dude is from.
I'm not even supposed to be talking to you.
Well, I'm not talking to you.
No, you can talk.
I know, but I'm mad.
You came back to town and didn't even call me.
I was embarrassed.
I lost my job at the dude ranch,
and I wanted to get my act together first.
But the four dweebs on a bike act?
Hey, the dapper dans are a main street tradition
Hey, what's going on?
I still love her, Ethan.
Okay, how do you know my name?
Look, I don't wanna harsh your day,
but I never stopped loving Haley and I never will!
I-is this some sort of joke?
Do I look like I'm joking?
Dylan, let's not do this now.
It has to be now. I've got a parade at 3:00.
Hey, seriously, dude, back off.
Okay, that was my face.
And you're the one who needs to back off.
Okay. This thing's kinda heavy.
Ethan? Ethan, what is going on? What are you doing?
伊森 伊森 怎么啦 你在做什么
Uh, hi, Mrs. Dunphy.
If I could get up, I would--uhh!
Come on, Lily sweetie. Keep up, honey.
快点 莉莉宝贝 跟上 亲爱的
- Come on. - Phil, you don't look like you're doing very well.
-快点 -菲尔 你看起来没什么精神啊
Maybe because I officially became an old man
back there at thunder mountain.
Oh, my goodness. You are burning up.
You might have the flu.
A bunch of guys at work had the flu,
and we all drink orange juice out of the same carton.
We should get cups.
Luke, did you hear that?! I have the flu!
卢克 听到了吗 是因为我得流感了
Glad we didn't share that pickle.
Oh, hey, hey, guys. Where's Ethan?
Oh, he's staying. He ran into some friends.
But Dylan got fired, so...
Don't freak out. We have to give him a ride home.
And we're back together.
Hey, no one goes home till we hit the Lincoln thing.
Don't even try to fight it.
Yeah, he made us go when we were kids.
Come on, people! It's a robotic president!
What's not to love?
A robotic president?
So my plan was, drive Claire and Mitchell home,
pour myself a big tumbler of scotch,
and tell Dede it was over.
But on the way out, we made one last stop.
If destruction be our lot,
must be its author and finisher.
As a nation of free men,
we must live through all times...
I don't know what happened.
Maybe it's what robot Lincoln said about a man's duty
or keeping the union together.
Maybe I just chickened out.
But I realized that staying with my kids
was more important than leaving my wife.
Now that's not the right decision for everyone,
but it was the right decision for me.
let us, to the end,
dare to do our duty
as we understand it.
So I stuck it out until they were grown...
Jay, you want to join me in the jacuzzi?
And the universe rewarded me.
Hey, dad, roller coast fist bump.
Is this gonna be so awesome!
Close your eyes. It make it more fun.
Oh, yeah. That is more fun.