摩登家庭 第三季 Modern Family Season 3 第3集: 走钢丝的菲尔 Phil on Wire

上映日期: 2,011

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 杰森·维纳

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里德·尤因 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格


台词
Jay.
- Jay... -What?!
-杰... -怎么
- What's wrong? - You are snoring!
-什么事 -你在打鼾
Me? Oh, I'm sorry.
我吗 对不起
Look at her!
看我家小宝贝
Come on! We said no Stella in the bed.
拜托 说好了不许斯黛拉上床
Oh but she's just a little puppy.
狗狗还小呢
She probably get scared and snuck in.
她八成是害怕了 偷偷躲进我怀里
Oh really? How come when Manny have nightmares
是吗 那为什么曼尼做噩梦的时候
you don't let him snuck in bed?
你不准他溜上床
Gloria, it's six o'clock in the morning,
歌洛莉亚 现在才早晨六点
can we talk about this later?
咱能待会再讨论这个问题吗
Answer the question, Jay.
请正面回答她的问题 杰
You know, I'm gonna check the lease,
我去查一查租赁合同
but I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to have a meth lab.
但我很确信我们不能开个冰毒作坊
You are a delight.
你真幽默
So what are you doing?
那你这是在做什么
I think you're gonna like this. I'm going on a juice fast.
我觉得你会喜欢的 我要进行"果汁速度减肥法"
Mmm. Love it.
我爱死了
Hate it. Let's face it,
讨厌死了 面对现实吧
A well-fed Cam is hardly a model of emotional stability.
肚大腰圆的小卡原本就容易情绪失控
Now deprive him of food, and stage by stage,
一旦断粮 阶段性地往下发展
it's a slow descent into madness.
他便缓缓驶入疯狂的境地
Stage one--the clean sweep.
阶段一 大清扫
Poison.
毒货
Poison.
毒货
- Poison. - Do you think that this is the best week to be doing this?
-毒货啊 -你觉得这周节食合适吗
Why not?
怎么不合适
- Well, we have that charity thing at my boss' house. - Oh, so what,
-我们要去我老板家参加慈善晚会 -那又怎样
I'm supposed to put off my quest for wellness
我想追求健康生活
until we're no longer socially in demand?
还必须等到咱俩没有应酬吗
That will never happen. I'm too charismatic.
我人见人爱 没应酬是不可能的
No. No. Not the cookies.
不 别扔饼干
Of course the cookies.
饼干扔立决
Why do you always want me to fail?
你干嘛总希望我减肥失败
Stage two--attack Mitchell.
阶段二 拿米奇尔撒气
Because when his diet crashes and burns
一旦他经不住能多益巧克力酱的诱惑
into a giant pile of nutella,
减肥计划流产
I'm the one he's gonna blame.
就把错全怪到我身上
Well, no, not this time.
不 这回可不行
You know what? I'm gonna do the fast with you.
这样 我决定和你一起减
I think it's a great idea, and we should do it together.
减肥计划很棒 我们应该一起执行
So we're on the same team, you know, us versus food.
我们齐心协力 夫夫齐心战美食
I know what you're doing...
你的心思我一清二楚
and I really appreciate it.
我真的很感动
No, it'll-- it'll be good for me.
不 那将对我也有好处
I've actually put on a few pounds.
我最近也重了几磅
Yeah, well, you know, I didn't want to say anything.
是啊 之前我都不好意思开口说你肥了
As the stock market plummeted,
尽管各大股指直线下滑
brave young men took to the skies,
勇敢的年轻人仍不畏高空
ushering in the golden age of the daredevil.
引领我们进入勇敢无畏的黄金年代
How awesome are people?
可敬的人类
So awesome.
真可敬
You wanna get that, buddy? I'll pause it.
去开门吧 伙计 我按暂停了
- Hey, Luke. How's it going? I-- - Hey, uncle Mitchell.
-卢克 还好吗 -好啊 米奇尔舅舅
I really can't talk. I'm trying to watch a movie.
我真没时间闲聊 正在看电影呢
Oh, okay, well, I just wanted to drop off this bag of junk food.
好吧 我只是把这袋垃圾食品拿过来
Go on.
继续说
Uh, Cam and I are on a juice fast,
小卡和我在实行"果汁速度减肥法"
so having this stuff in the house--
所以美食放在家里...
I connected the dots. See ya.
我懂了 再见
Seeing that weird, wonderful little man
看到那位年轻的钢丝奇人
pursuing his dream of walking on a tightrope made me think
精彩的寻梦之旅 我不禁在想
maybe I could pursue my dream...
或许我也该追求自己的梦想
Here you go, buddy.
拿好了 伙计
of walking on a tightrope.
我也要走钢丝
家 庭
摩 登
第三季 第三集
Come on, dad! You got this! You can do this!
加油 老爸 你行的 你可以的
Stay focused! Stay hungry!
全神贯注 保持冲劲
You okay, buddy?
没事吧 伙计
What? Yeah, hell, yeah, no.
什么 当然没事
Just proud of my dad!
就是为我老爹感到自豪
There was a lot of chocolate in that bag.
那袋子里有好多巧克力
Phil, honey, you gotta take Luke to school.
菲尔 亲爱的 该送卢克上学了
Got it.
好的
Okay, I haven't fallen three out of the last four times.
好的 刚才4次里有3次没掉下来
This afternoon, we go airborne.
今天下午 咱要悬空踩了
Sitting all by yourself at the table.
孤零零一个人坐在桌前
Now where have I seen that again?
这一幕似曾相识啊
Oh, right. Every day in the school cafeteria.
对了 每天在学校自助餐厅都看到
I do that by choice.
我选择一个人坐的
The school's choice.
是校友们选择冷落你吧
Isn't that your nickname?
你的绰号就是"校选之花"吧
Haley, be nice to your sister.
海莉 对妹妹友善点
Alex, good save.
艾丽克斯 回得好
Mom, sign this.
妈妈 签个字
What is it?
这是什么
They finally bumped me up to the harder math class.
校方终于准我升入中级数学班了
Third period, Mr. Waters.
高中数学第三期 沃特斯老师教
What? No, mom, you cannot sign this.
什么 不 妈妈 你不能签
This is my class.
我在那个班上课
You're a freshman. What are you doing in second-year math?
你才高一 学高二数学太早了吧
You're a senior. What are you still doing in second year math?
你都高三了 干嘛还赖在高二数学班里不走
Not "Still." "Again."
不是赖着不走 姐是重修
Alex, be nice to your sister.
艾丽克斯 别对姐姐那么刻薄
Haley, not a good save.
海莉 回得不行
I knew it would suck having you at my school.
就知道和你同校肯定受打击
Well, hang in there.
你估计得忍耐一下
A couple more years, you'll have it all to yourself again.
再过几年 留在学校的又是你一人了
Come on, girls.
走吧 姑娘们
Jay, look at this.
杰 看她干得好事
It's ruined.
全毁了
Stella did this. She chew on my shoe!
斯黛拉干的 她啃我的鞋
You have to discipline that stupid dog.
那只笨狗欠管教
I discipline her all the time.
我经常管教她的
Oh, really? How? By buying her little cupcakes?
真的吗 怎么管的 赏她吃纸杯蛋糕吗
They're not real cupcakes.
那不算纸杯蛋糕
They're doggy treats in the form of cupcakes.
那是狗狗奖励 用纸杯蛋糕形式发放
Yeah, you should have told that to Manny before he ate one.
你该在曼尼误食之前告诉他的
Oh, come on. His coat never looked better.
没关系 他现在可是皮光水滑啊
You wouldn't find it so funny if she was destroying your shoes.
要是她把你的鞋啃成这样 看你还乐不乐
Well, I don't leave my shoes laying around, so...
我从不乱扔鞋子 也就不会...
So it's my fault that she chooses to chew my shoe?
这么说鞋子挨啃是我自作自受了
I didn't say that. You barely said it.
我没这么说 这可是你自己说的
You have to stop coddling her.
你不能再这么宠着她了
I don't coddle her.
我没宠着她
What?
干嘛
She tries to drink the water.
她在喝我的洗澡水呢
It's funny.
可逗了
You don't look at me in class. You don't text me.
上课的时候不许看我 也不许给我发短信
Who would text during a class?
谁会上课的时候发短信啊
What are you?
你真是个怪胎
Hon, I realize that this situation is not ideal
亲爱的 我知道现在这个情况
for either one of you,
对你们两个都不理想
but sometimes we just rise above things. Yes?
但有时候 逆境出人才嘛
Excuse me. Did you notice the curb here is painted yellow?
打扰一下 你注意到了路缘是黄色的吗
Uh, no, I did not.
没 我没注意
Wow. It means loading and unloading.
奇怪了 这代表"上下车区域"
Okay, well, I was just dropping off my kids.
好吧 我就停一小会 让她们下车
And yet I see no kids emerging from the vehicle.
我怎么还没看见有人下车呢
Well, we were chatting.
我们在聊天
At the risk of surprising you a third time, officer,
不怕惊着您 长官
I've been dropping off here for years, and I--
我这么停车已经好几年了
- Move it. - Okay. You betcha.
-开走 -没问题
What was her problem?
她有毛病吧
Oh, you know what you should have said to her--
我教你 你该这么回她...
Nothing. I should have said nothing would be the point.
什么都不说最好 我不回嘴
I have to see her every day.
我们抬头不见低头见
I mean, why make it worse?
何必把事情搞得那么僵呢
That's exactly what I'm talking about.
我想表达的就是这个意思
Awkward, unpleasant situation--
人生不如意事十有八九
rise above.
逆境成功
Have a nice day.
过得愉快
Love you!
爱你们哟
Bye-bye!
拜拜
"And yet I see no children emerging from the vehicle."
"我怎么还没看见有人下车呢"
How'd you like to see my fist emerging into your face?
再啰嗦 赏你一记粉拳看看
Oh! Now I think of it!
我怎么这么暴力
Day four of the juice fast,
"果汁速度减肥法"的第四天
and I'm hungry, but I'm-- I'm feeling pretty good.
我很饿 但是感觉很好
Cam, on the other hand, has gone all...
可是小卡 已经
[美国电影 讲述边缘神经错乱女孩的故事]
"Girl, Interrupted."
边缘精神错乱了
After one, throwing out all of our food,
继阶段一 食物大清扫
and two, blaming me,
和阶段二 拿我撒气
he entered stage three-- soap actress.
他进入了第三阶段 肥皂剧女王
I just wish my sister would put herself out there more.
真希望我的傻妹妹多为自己想想
She has so much to offer.
她如此多才多艺
Why are men so superficial?
为何男人都如此肤浅
That was followed by stage four--
随之而来的是第四阶段
a rush of epiphanies...
间歇性中邪
I... Don't... Need... Food.
我 不 需 要 食 物
Look at this. Architecture is everywhere.
看啊 到处都是别致的建筑
Oh. Spaniards make amazing athletes.
西班牙的运动健将层出不穷
Into stage five--despair...
接下来是第五阶段 绝望主夫
Daddy, we hided, but you didn't seek.
爹地 我们藏好了 但是你没来找我们
Cam?
小卡
Then came rage.
然后是狂躁状态
Hey. Whatcha got there?
手里拿的啥啊
The good news is,
好消息是
Cam's never made it this far into a diet before, so...
小卡从来没坚持过这么久
Downside--I have no idea what the next stage is gonna be.
坏消息是 我对下一阶段会怎样一无所知
But I'm pretty sure
但是我可以肯定
it's not charming party guest.
他此时的状态不适合参加派对
Cam, I-I was thinking,
小卡 我在考虑
I'll take the bullet tomorrow night at my boss' house.
明晚我独身赴会 接受老板的摧残吧
You don't have to go to the party.
你不必去参加的
They're--they're boring.
那些人特无聊
Silly cause, you know, lots of people.
还净做傻事 人也多
Parking...
车位也紧张
- Cam, say something. - Why do you hate me?
-小卡 好歹说句话啊 -你为何如此恨我
I don't hate you.
我不恨你啊
Then why are you trying to push me out of your life?
那为什么要把我驱逐出你的生活
Because you--you seem a little...
因为你看起来 有点
unhinged.
精神错乱
Okay, well, you know what I think?
知道我在想什么吗
You should worry a little bit less about me
你应该少操我的心
and a little bit more about yourself
多操心你自己
and what you're gonna wear tomorrow night,
想想明晚穿什么吧
because I saw what you have laid out,
我看到了你选的那套了
and I don't think you're gonna like the way you look in photos.
要是穿那套拍照 你一定悔不当初
Well, I hadn't landed on that.
我没决定穿那套啊
Her hand's in the air, like, every five seconds,
她几乎五秒钟就要举一次手
and she actually reminded Mr. Waters to assign homework.
还主动提醒沃特斯先生布置家庭作业
The class loved that. Do you know how embarrassed I was?
同学怨声载道 你知道我有多尴尬吗
Not as embarrassed as I was
没有我尴尬
when she said 8 was a prime number. 8, mom.
她说8是质数 8唉 妈妈
Okay, fine. You know what?
行了 你们听着
I'm gonna call the school today and have your schedules changed,
我今天就给学校打电话 把你们课表换掉
but I want you to know a little part of me died today, okay?
但是你们要知道 我今天很失望
I thought the two of you could understand
我还以为你们能明白
how being in the same class would benefit you both.
姐妹同班对你们都有好处
Alex, you--you could've tutored Haley.
艾丽克斯 你可以辅导海莉的功课
Haley, you could've helped alex with her social skills.
海莉 你可以教艾丽克斯交往之道
Come on. The two of you could've been two Super Dunphys.
拜托 你们本该成为超级邓菲无敌档
And instead, what are you? Two bickering Half-Dunphys,
但现在呢 你们像什么样 邓菲反目吵嘴王
and I'm the fool that expected more.
我真是痴人说梦才对你们抱期望
No, I don't even want to hear it. Just go upstairs. Go.
停 我不想听 给我上楼去
What was that?
这唱的是哪一出啊
That was a master class in parenting.
虎妈独家育儿经
Right now our daughters are upstairs
现在我们的女儿在楼上
making a decision they think is their own,
自以为是地做着决定
But really, it was an idea that was skillfully implanted by me.
但实际上 都是我巧妙植入的潜意识
Inception, Claire.
成盗梦师啦 克莱尔
Dangerous game, but I like it.
玩的就是心跳 我很喜欢
What are those?
那是什么
Wire walkers.
走钢丝专用鞋
You want to go to the dance, you gotta wear the shoes.
所谓工欲善其事 必先利其器
Luke, grab your camera.
带上照相机 卢克
Luke.
卢克
I wasn't sleeping.
我没睡着
Honey, I-I think those are...
亲爱的 那好像是...
Jazz shoes.
爵士舞鞋
No. Tightrope shoes.
不是 是钢丝鞋
Got 'em at an estate sale. Only worn once.
别人搬家大拍卖时买下的 只穿过一次
That--that is not a ringing endorsement for...
那可不适合...
Oh! Phil, honey.
菲尔 亲爱的
Please be ca--careful. Right.
拜托 小心点
Watch the door.
小心别撞门
Hey, what'd you get for number 3?
你第三题答案多少
You're not going to learn if I just give you answers.
如果我直接告诉你答案 你就学不到东西了
Well, what if I gave you something in return?
那如果我给你一点回报呢
Like what?
比如什么
You can talk to me in class.
你在班上可以跟我讲话
I want lunch at the cool table.
午餐时间 我要和你们人气王坐一桌
Then I want all the answers.
那我要所有题的答案
Then I want a week at the table.
延续一周午餐同坐
- That'll cost you two pop quizzes. -A month.
-两次测试答案 -一个月
-The midterm. -Deal.
-外加期中考试 -成交
Looking great, dad.
老爸 挺有范啊
With these steps, I break the surly bonds...
走出这几步 我就打破了束缚
Chicken in a basket!
上帝保佑
Don't look at me.
别拍我
- Mom. Mom. Mom. -What? What? What? What? What?
-老妈 老妈 -怎么了 怎么了
Mom. Mom. Did you call the school yet?
妈妈 你打电话给学校了吗
Uh, not yet, but I was just about to.
还没呢 我正准备打
Uh, Bartles & Jaymes!
哎哟我去
Good. Because we are thinking
那就好 仔细考虑之后
We might want to stay in that class.
我们觉得挺想在一个班的
Really? Oh, girls, I don't know about that.
真的吗 孩子们 我不确定啊
Oh, please let us try it.
拜托了 再给个机会吧
Super Dunphy?
超级邓菲无敌档
I can't hold her! I can't hold her!
我抓不住了 抓不住了
Well, maybe one more week.
好吧 就再待一个星期
Thanks, mom.
谢谢 妈妈
I don't know. Uh, a cup of soup, a cobb salad.
好像吃过 一碗汤 一份科布色拉
Yeah, it had bacon.
对 里面有培根
Cam, I don't have all day to describe all my meals to you.
小卡 我没时间跟你讲我今天吃了什么
Stop eating all my things, you stupid animal.
别再咬我的东西了 你个愚蠢的畜生
No, Cam, not you.
不是 小卡 我不是在说你
I'll call you back.
我回头给你电话
Bad doggy!
坏狗狗
You want to chew on something?
你想咬东西吗
Okay. Okay. Okay.
行 没问题
Look at this.
看这个
Look at this delicious man shoe. Eat it.
看这美味的男士鞋 尽情咬吧
Come on. Eat it. Eat it.
来吧 咬啊 咬啊
Mmm! Yummy.
很美味的
Eat the shoe.
把鞋子吃掉
Eat his shoe. Come on. Eat his shoe.
来嘛 咬这只鞋子
Yeah, like this. Look.
就像这样
Delicious.
真好吃
Mom?
妈妈
Drop it.
松口
I--
Please. I'm sorry you had to see this.
别说了 抱歉让你看到这一幕
hello?
你好
Hi, Mrs. Dunphy. This is Rose in the principal's office.
邓菲夫人您好 我是校长助理罗丝
-Can you hold for principal Weller? -Yes.
-您方便跟韦勒校长讲话吗 -好的
Hi, Claire.
你好 克莱尔
Hi, John. What'd she do this time?
你好 约翰 她又犯什么事了
Actually, I've got both of them in here.
事实上 她们俩都在我这儿
Both of them? Really?
她们俩 真的吗
Alex was letting Haley copy her homework.
艾丽克斯给海莉抄作业
Mr. Waters caught them.
被沃特斯老师发现了
I-I don't believe it.
真不敢相信
I'm about to have a little talk with them,
我会跟她们俩谈谈
So they'll be out a few minutes late.
所以她们会晚一会儿出来
Um, I'm so sorry, John, and honestly,
约翰 非常抱歉 说句老实话
I-I really am a better mother than this. I promise.
我通常不至于如此教导无方 我发誓
So you've said.
你以前也这么说过
Seriously?
不是吧
Seriously? Oh. You...
不是吧 你
Excuse me.
抱歉打扰一下
Hey, um, what the hell is this?
这是什么鬼东西
This zone is for loading and unloading,
这片区域仅限上下车
not for talking on the phone.
不是用来讲电话的
Yeah, I know, but I was talking on the phone to the school
我知道 但是我是在跟校长讲电话
that my kids were about to come out of, so...
孩子们就要出来了 所以
Are you aware this zone has a time limit?
你知道这里有时间限制吗
N-no, I'm not.
不 我不知道
You know what? I do want to do some unloading.
知道不 姐现在还真想发泄几句
I know your type.
我了解你这种人
Life has been bad to you. It has made you feel small.
你的生活太糟 觉得自己很渺小
And then one day somebody gives you a fake cop outfit,
然后有一天 某人给了你一身山寨警察装
A toy badge and a little spongebob tie.
一个玩具徽章 和一个破领带
Suddenly it's payback time, right?
你突然就想报复社会了 对不对
Well, I got news for you,
我告诉你
"Law & order: Special parking unit,"
"法律与秩序:特殊停车警"
[经典在播美剧 《法律与秩序 特殊受害者》]
Not my fault.
我没错
I'm really sorry, dad.
真对不起 爸爸
Oh, it's all right.
没关系的
Everybody throws up at school.
在学校吐过的又不止你一个人
If I had a nickel for every time I puked at school,
要是我在学校每吐一次能赚五分钱
you know how much money I'd have?
你猜我一共能赚多少
35 cents.
三十五分钱
Exactly. Now go get cleaned up, and I'll call the doctor.
没错 去洗洗干净 我马上打给医生
Wait, dad, I don't need a doctor.
爸 等等 我不用医生
- What's up? - The other day,
-怎么了 -前些天
Uncle Mitchell brought over a bag of junk food
米奇尔舅舅送了一大袋垃圾食品过来
So he and Cam could do a jew fast.
以便他和小卡施行快速减"犹"法
- Juice fast? - I'm pretty sure he said "Jew".
-是果汁减"油"吧 -他说的肯定是"减犹"
But anyway, I took the bag, and I hid it, and I ate it all.
随便吧 我截获下来 藏了起来 全都吃了
Oh, buddy.
不是吧老弟
I couldn't help myself. I'm weak. Don't look at me.
我情难自禁 我意志薄弱 别鄙视我
It's all right.
没关系的
It's okay. Hey, you learned a lesson.
没事的 你从中获得了教训
A painful lesson.
惨痛的教训
I guess we both have.
我们爷俩都是
What do you mean?
什么意思
I always saw myself as a guy
我一直以为自己是个
who could soar through the sky, dancing on a wire.
上天入地无所不能的纯爷们
I can't even get across one 6 inches off the ground.
可我连离地六英寸的钢丝都走不过
Well, maybe that's the problem.
也许这正是问题所在
Maybe you keep falling
也许 你之所以会摔倒
because part of you knows that you can fall.
是因为你心里觉得摔下来也无大碍
Maybe if the wire was much, much higher, you wouldn't fall.
如果钢丝架得很高很高 你就不会摔了
Oh, Luke, Luke, Luke.
卢克 卢克 卢克
You are a genius.
你是个天才
Come on. We got work to do.
来吧 咱们有活儿干了
Yes! Can I have a doughnut first?
太给力了 我能先吃个甜甜圈吗
Yes, you can!
没问题
Ah, there they are, my super Dunphys.
总算出来了 超级邓菲无敌档
We're sorry, but we just--
我们很抱歉 但我们...
You don't get to talk.
你没资格解释
You had a chance to be better people today.
你们今天原本可以进步一些的
You, to be more well-rounded,
你 可以学会和人相处
And you, to be a better student.
而你 可以做个好学生
You could have elevated the Dunphy name,
你们本来能给邓菲家增光的
But instead, you chose to tarnish it,
但恰恰相反 你们却给抹了黑
So, congratulations, ladies,
所以 恭喜二位小姐
You brought this family to a new low.
你们让家族名誉再次跌得无下限
Mom, are you--
妈 你是不是...
Yeah. Yeah, I am,
是的 没错
And I would actually like to get these loosened up, if I might.
可以的话 希望你帮我解开这个
- Are we gonna have any more trouble? - No, ma'am.
-你以后还继续添乱吗 -绝对不会
Oh, Claire, do you need me to drive the girls?
克莱尔 需要我开车送孩子们吗
All good, Janet. All good.
没事儿 珍妮特 没事儿
Goat cheese risotto ball?
尝尝奶酪团子吧
No, thank you.
不用了 谢谢
Are you sure? They're so good.
确定吗 很好吃的哦
Walk away.
闪一边儿去
It's tough enough to deal with Cam when I'm at full strength.
就算我精力充沛 也很难控制住小卡
But I have been fasting just as long as he has,
但我跟他一样经受了"果汁速度减肥法"的摧残
and I do not have the energy
所以我也没力气
to deal with a big, needy brisketcase--
去对付那个可怜的"大怪头"
Brass--basketcase.
大侩...大块头
Cam! Don't be mad at me,
小卡 别生我的气
But I think that you really need to eat something.
但你真的得吃点儿东西
What?
什么
You're supposed to be my support.
你应该支持我的
Oh, away from me, temptress.
离我远点儿 你个狐狸精
And I never thought I would call you that in a negative way.
以前叫你狐狸精是爱你 现在是真恨你
I've seen her do a lot of crazy stuff,
我看她做过很多疯狂的事儿
But this is a whole new level.
但此次的疯狂又上升一个等级
Is this a people cookie?
这饼干是给人吃的吗
You're good.
吃吧 没事儿
A definitive "yes" or "no" would be appreciated.
你只要说"是"或"不是"就行了
Those cupcakes did a number on me.
上次的蛋糕已经给我留下阴影了
Are you happy?
你高兴了吧
You have reduced me to a person who eats a shoe.
你让我自贱到吃鞋子的地步
- Gloria, sit. -You think this is funny?
-歌洛莉亚 坐下 -你觉得很好玩吗
To talk to me like I am a dog?
把我当狗一样地使唤
I'm not talking to you like you're a dog.
我可没有把你当狗一样使唤
I'm just asking you to sit so we can get to the bottom of this.
我只是请你坐下 好把问题解决了
Okay, fine.
好吧
Good girl.
真乖
Come on. You set me up.
拜托 你自己给我机会的
Gloria, why are you acting so crazy?
歌洛莉亚 你为何表现的那么疯狂
It's just a little dog.
不就是条狗嘛
It's not the little dog that is making me crazy.
不是狗把我逼疯了
It's you that is making me crazy.
是你把我逼疯了
- Me? -Yeah, you used to put me first.
-我 -没错 你以前把我放在第一位的
You used to want me in that shower.
以前是我陪你洗澡
Should I be here for this?
我是不是该"非礼勿听"
No, Manny. It's okay. I go. But I want you to know this.
不用 曼尼 没关系 我走 但我要告诉你
Where I come from, men cherish woman.
在我老家 男人都宠着女人
It goes wife, mistress, dog.
老婆第一 情人第二 狗第三
Dog always at the bottom.
狗永远排在最后
As you can imagine, I get asked to help,
大伙都知道 我经常被邀请
Uh, with a lot of these environmental causes.
去帮忙解决些环境问题
Usually, I buy a ticket,
通常 我只是买张票
Uh, bid on Shaquille O'Neal's big shoe...
买双奥尼尔的战靴
and, uh, come home.
完事儿就回家了
But then, something happened.
但后来发生了件事儿
I love paddle surfing.
我爱好腹板冲浪
And each time I'd go out, I'd see this one sea lion.
每次出海 我都能碰到一头海狮
He'd pop his head up. He'd check me out.
它抬起头 看着我玩
I got so used to seeing him, I even named him--Snorkels.
我都习以为常了 甚至给它起了个名字 斯诺克斯
Oh, god, I do not like where this is going.
天呐 我不喜欢故事的发展路线
So one day, I, uh, I go out and I see Snorkels.
有一天 我出海碰到了斯诺克斯
But he's doing this weird twisting thing in the water.
但它在水里奇怪地扭着身体
Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god.
苍天呐 天呐 天呐
So I paddle over, and I see he's got a plastic grocery bag,
于是我划过去 发现有个塑料袋
wrapped around his neck and one of his fins.
将他的脖子和鳍勒在一起
And I freaked, tried to get it off with my paddle.
我慌了 想方设法用船桨去帮他扯开
It didn't work, so I-I jumped in,
但那不管用 于是我跳下水
But he disappeared under the water. And, uh...
可惜的是他已经沉入水中 之后
Don't say it. Don't you dare say it.
别说了 求你别说下去了
And I never saw him again.
之后我就再也没见到他
This is the saddest thing I've ever--
绝对是我听过的最悲伤的故事
Mitchell, are you okay?
米奇尔 你没事吧
Of course I'm not okay.
怎么可能没事
None of this is okay.
一切都那么糟糕郁闷
Okay, well, you need to pull yourself together.
好吧 你得忍住了
'cause we're at your boss' house.
我们正在你老板家呢
He drowned, Cam!
他淹死了 小卡
Is he all right?
他没事吧
Yeah, yeah, I just think he needs a little air.
没事 没事 我觉得他需要点新鲜空气
You know who else needed air?
你知道谁还需要新鲜空气吗
Snorkels!
斯诺克斯
Excuse me.
抱歉
Snorkels?! Where are you, Snorkels?!
斯诺克斯 你在哪里 斯诺克斯
Mitchell, get back here!
米奇尔 快回来
Oh, Snorkels!
噢 斯诺克斯
Mitchell, what is wrong with you?!
米奇尔 你这是怎么了
What do you think is wrong with me? I'm starving!
你以为我怎么了 我饿坏了
Well, if you're starving, then just eat something!
好吧 如果你饿了 就吃些东西吧
I can't eat something because then you'll get mad at me,
我不能吃东西 因为你会生我的气
And we're at my boss' house!
而且我们现在在我老板家
I'm not gonna get mad at you!
我不会生你的气
I appreciate what you're doing for me!
我很感谢你为我做的一切
I'm doing it for you.
我所做的一切也都是为了你
Oh, you don't have to do anything for me.
不 你不需要为我减肥
I love you just the way you are.
我就喜欢原原本本真实的你
I love you just the way you are.
我也喜欢原原本本真实的你
- I got you! - Okay. Okay.
-我抓住你了 -好 好
- I got you, babe! - Thank you.
-我抓住你了 亲爱的 -谢谢
I got you!
我抓住你了
- Cam. - I got you!
-小卡 -我抓住你了
I can walk. I can walk.
脚能够到地 我自己站起来
I think Mitchell may just be a work friend.
或许跟米奇尔只能做同事 无法做朋友
I let down my Mom and Dad today, and... Worse than that,
今天我让爸妈失望了 更糟糕的是
I let down my teacher.
我也让老师失望了
It's all my fault.
都是我的错
Everything I touch turns to detention.
跟我沾边的都得挨罚
I'm sorry, Mom.
对不起 妈妈
Me, too.
我也是
Oh, I don't really have
算了吧 我今天也没法
a whole lot of moral high ground to stand on.
站在什么道德高度上去说教你们了
I wasn't exactly my best self today either.
我自己也搞砸了
All in all, not a great day for the Dunphys.
总之 今天邓菲家族集体触霉头
Come on, Dad! Believe in yourself!
加油老爸 相信你自己
You're making the impossible unimpossible.
你让一切不可能变得可能
Phil. Oh, my god.
菲尔 天呐
Don't even bother. He's in the zone.
你省省吧 他正"闭关"呢
He can't hear you.
他听不见你
Go, Dad!
加油 爸爸
You got this!
你能行的
All week long, I'd been telling my girls how to act
一周来 我教育女儿都是在空口说白话
instead of showing them.
而不是言传身教
But not Phil.
但菲尔不是
Phil could have said,
菲尔本可以说
"Alex, relax. Don't take everything so seriously."
艾丽克斯 放松点 别什么事都太较真
Or "Haley, challenge yourself. Don't give up so easily."
或者 海莉 尝试挑战 别轻易放弃
But instead of talking the talk, Phil walked the walk.
但菲尔没有选择言语教导 而是采取实际行动
And isn't that what we're supposed to do
这难道不正是我们应该
for the people we love?
为所爱之人做的吗
It's definitely a challenge...
虽然是个挑战
But Phil made it look easy,
但菲尔让它看起来很简单
7 feet off the ground.
七尺之上
You're awesome!
你太棒了
Oh, my goodness!
天呐 我做到了
Turns out, I've had my super Dunphy all along.
原来 超级邓菲一直都在我身边
Oh, I know.
我知道
What was on my mind as I was walking across that wire?
我走钢丝的时候脑子里想着什么
I kept thinking, if I can do this,
我一直在想 如果我能走钢丝
Then I've got two ways of getting across my yard.
我就有两种方式穿过我家院子了
Did you have fun?
你玩得高兴吗
Yes. She's the cutest dog in the whole world.
嗯 她是世界上最可爱的狗狗
Yeah, I heard you the first time.
够了 你第一次说的时候我就听见了
Let's go find your Daddies.
我们去找你爸爸们吧
We're in here!
我们在这儿呢
Oh, my god. These cupcakes a so good.
天呐 蛋糕真是太好吃了
I'm so sorry. We helped ourselves.
抱歉 我们自己拿着吃了
We were so hungry. They are delicious.
我们太饿了 这些蛋糕太美味了
I love that they're not too sweet, you know?
话说我很喜欢甜而不腻的口味
They taste almost like pate.
吃起来有点像小馅饼
You know, I mean...
我的意思是说
But why are you eating?
你们怎么吃东西了
We've been on a juice cleanse.
我们之前在节食减肥呢
You need to mind your own business, sweetie, for right now.
你先自己一边儿玩去吧 亲爱的