So then what happened?
Well she didn't show up to school the next day.
And I heard that she slept over at his dorm.
Seriously, are you surprised?
Do you not know Carley?
Have you not seen what she wears at school?
Girls, let's cool it on the gossip, okay?
And Carley's got enough problems.
Well, her mom can't get through soccer practice
without a thermos of chardonnay,
And don't get me started on the dad. That guy is--
- Oh, my god! - Oh, my god!
- Mom! - Oh! This is such a dangerous intersection!
Did I get lipstick on my face?
No, you're fine. And consider yourself lucky
没有 美着呢 庆幸吧
you didn't just get, like, felt up by your mom.
They need to get a stop sign.
What is your obsession with traffic?
It's an obsession with safety.
One of these days, joe speeder's gonna come tearing through here,
and somebody's gonna--aah! Aah!
- Oh, my god! I'm okay. - Oh, hey, guys.
-我的天啊 -我没事 是你们啊
- Phil? - Yeah. No, I'm good. Gotta keep moving.
-菲尔 -我没事 我得接着走了
Keep the heart rate up.
Gloria, how many times do I have to tell you
to pull your car all the way in?
The gate was open all night.
We live in a nice neighborhood.
What are you afraid of? That some money's gonna fly in
and then your gardener is gonna have to rake it up?
Jay, I'm going to need you to cut me a check.
Drama club trip. "Les miserables."
We're selling wrapping paper to raise money for the tickets.
No. No. Wait. Wait. Slow down. What's the story exactly?
等等 慢慢说 是怎么个事儿
Well, Jean Valjean spent 19 years in prison
for stealing a loaf of bread.
The wrapping paper.
19 years for a loaf of bread?
How good was this bread?
It wasn't about the bread. It was about the society--
Manny, we will buy all your wrapping paper.
No. No, we won't. No, he's got to learn to sell.
不 这样不行 他得学着自己卖
This is the best business training there is,
hell, the best life training.
Manny, write this down--
"A good salesman goes after Moby Dick in a rowboat
and brings the tartar sauce with him."
Jay is always telling me to "Write this down."
I don't always catch everything he says.
"Something, something, firm handshake."
"Never take the first room they show you."
Not sure who "They" Is.
And this one just says "Pancakes."
Cam, what's this scribble on the "Vanity fair"
about an adoption agency?
Oh, um, yeah, they called to say
they wanted to reschedule our home visit.
When? Why didn't you tell me?
Th-this is kind of important.
Well, when does it say?
It disappears into jennifer aniston's hair.
You gotta get a better system.
There is nothing wrong with my system.
Ask me anything about any upcoming event.
I can tell you when and where it is.
When is the adoption agency visit?
Okay. Is that a "5" or a curl?
Oh, I hope Jen's finally found love.
What happened here?
Well, Lily and I woke up in a French mood,
so we decided to whip up some crepes.
When are you gonna be in the mood to wipe up some crepes?
Oh, I know, it's a little messy, but...
- you know what? I'm gonna clean it up. - Okay.
- I'll clean it up. - Will you?
- Just say what's on your mind. - You never clean up.
Cam, whenever you get creative in the kitchen,
I'm the one who ends up cleaning it up, okay?
The homemade pizza, fondue, molecular gastronomy.
自制披萨 芝士火锅 分子烹饪 诸如此类
I'm still cleaning shrimp foam out of the curtains.
Okay, you know, Mitchell? Just go to work, okay?
行了 米奇尔 你放心去上班吧
I'm gonna take Lily to school, and then when I get home,
I'm gonna scrub this place like a crime scene,
which it is, because you've murdered joy.
Hey, buddy. What's up?
Hey, dad. Think fast.
- Oh, my god! - Oh, my god!
If we had that on tape,
it'd be the greatest youtube video ever!
We'd get, like, a million hits. This is our double rainbow!
We need to do it again.
Oh, I would, buddy, but, uh,
我也想 伙计 但是
Your mom's all over me to change a bunch of lightbulbs.
How many moms does it take to screw on a lightbulb?
None, 'cause they get you to do it, sucker.
一个都不用 因为她会指使你去干 废柴
I laughed, but...
- Us, too. - Oh, great. You're all here.
-我们也回来啦 -太好了 人齐了
Oh. You know that really dangerous intersection?
Where desire meets jealousy, and the result is murder?
Mnh-mnh. The one where I almost killed you this morning.
Oh, yeah. Sorry. That was my bad. I got lost in my Jams.
对不起 是我的错 我太入神了
Dangerous combo-- speed walking and speedwagon.
Oh. I wasn't even trying for that.
Well, I am getting us a stop sign.
I called City Hall, and how is this for amazing?
The Traffic Committee meets tonight.
I've got goosebumps.
I know, right? All I have to do is get 50 signatures,
show up, make my case.
- It's on. - I am so proud of you.
We love when mom gets on a project.
Because usually the minute any of us walks in the door,
she gives us something to do.
"Do your homework. Clean your room."
Like the Queen's coming over. Am I right?
So when she's not around or gets busy,
Luke and I capitalize on the situation.
There you are, my good man.
Squire, let's do it.
Well, I think it's awesome.
I am so glad because I could really use your help
getting these signatures.
soon as I change those lightbulbs you wanted.
Crud. You know, I've got a ton of homework.
- Uh, science project. - Haley?
I need to get started on my college essay.
You know what? Maybe I'll write it about you.
You're just so inspirational.
Girl power! You rock.
Stella, no. This is very dangerous.
斯黛拉 别跳了 很危险
Okay, Estella. That's it.
Come here, because Jay is gonna be very mad
if something happens to you.
Go play with the bone. See you later.
Now I can cook my empanadas.
Ay, no! The gate! The gate!
Estella, come back!
Hey there, Mr. Salesman.
Can we not talk about business?
I gave it everything I got--
Working the dimples, going big eyes.
It got me two things-- diddly and squat.
How many houses you hit?
Must've been at least three.
Three? And that's your idea of the best you got?
It was very hard on me.
I'm not used to rejection... or hills.
Look, you can't quit after three houses.
That's-- that's not perseverance.
What are you selling?
- Wrapping paper. - Wrong.
You're selling Christmas--
the excitement of opening presents,
the taste of eggnog.
Look, write this down--
"What's the difference between 'try' and 'triumph'?"
A little oomph?
A little oomph. Get it?
Of course I get it. I just said it.
Hey! I'm gonna kill you when I find you, silly dog!
Why don't you come back? Stella!
Ay, Cam, thank you for helping me.
Oh, it's my pleasure. Stella!
What? Do you see her?
No. But I see myself in the role I was born to play.
Hello? Oh, Mitchell, you are not gonna believe this.
喂 米奇尔 你猜怎么着
I'm out helping Gloria look for her dog.
I'm wearing an undershirt and I'm screaming "Stella,"
Just like in "Streetcar."
- Hello? - You didn't clean the kitchen.
Mitchell, I am an inadvertent Stanley Kowalski.
How can you not be delighted by this?
I was called away for an emergency.
Gloria's lost her dog, and she's heartbroken.
Where are you, dumb dog?
I hope in a big, black hole.
I cannot believe That you did this to me yet again. Oh.
I didn't do anything.
I cooked a meal in our kitchen.
And then you left on purpose, knowing that
I would not be able to sit here without cleaning it up.
Life is messy sometimes. Big deal.
It gets cleaned up.
You're the one with a problem if you can't leave
a few dirty dishes for a couple hours.
O-okay, fine. C-cam, I'm not cleaning it up.
行 小卡 我不清理
Perfect. You know what?
Why don't you make it bigger?
You know what? I will.
I-I... Okay, you know, get--get ready,
行 给我听好了 你就等着吧
Because you are gonna come home to--to a giant mess.
And I will give him a giant hug when I get there.
Hey, dad. Think fast.
I'm sorry. I told you, I gotta change the lightbulbs
and then help your mom with those signatures.
I guess it was a stupid idea anyways.
I've always said that if my son thinks of me
as one of his idiot friends, then I've succeeded as a dad.
If he wants to go the wrong way on the escalator, I'm on board.
If he wants to go into a restaurant
and pretend we're Australian.
"Toss a few shrimp on the barbie for me and my Joey."
Yeah? Right? Nicole Kidman?
Men at Work?
Here we go. Take 12.
Hey, buddy! I'm home!
Hey, dad. Think fast.
Wow. You know, my arm's starting to hurt a little.
Really? Cause my face feels great.
Come on, dad. Let's not turn on each other.
We could be here a while.
Yeah. Okay. You're right. Here we go.
是啊 好吧 你说得对 接着试
You're not even trying.
Daddy, I'm hungry.
What do you want, honey?
All right well, go get 'em.
It's too high, daddy.
For the record, I am not a neat freak.
I-in fact, in my first long-term relationship,
I was the messy one, which is why she broke up with me.
- No, thanks. - Okay.
-不必了 谢谢 -好吧
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let me show you how it's done.
Hi. Uh, Jay Pritchett here.
Holidays are just around the corner.
I'm sorry. I don't believe in wrapping paper.
What do you mean you don't believe in wrapping paper?
It's not bigfoot. It exists.
It's not eco-friendly. It's wasteful.
No, not this stuff.
This paper was made from 100% recycled materials.
I can't understand what you're saying.
She's an ugly little fresh bulldog
with the tiny ears and the smushy face.
What is so hard to understand?
Maybe I should translate.
I really don't like people coming to my door unannounced
While I'm working on my carving.
I understand, but a stop sign is really important.
What exactly are you carving?
Hello, ma'am. Do you love Christmas?
你好 夫人 你喜欢圣诞节吗
Actually, I'm jewish.
Oh, well, then you must appreciate a good value.
If you see her, let us know.
Oh, my god. No, no. No, no.
天哪 不 不
Are you kidding? Seriously?!
See? You're not keeping your head in the right position.
I know that's me, but I'm not remembering any of this.
Oh. Those stupid neighbors!
- What's wrong? - I can't ask for a simple signature.
But it's fine for them to build a house
that looks like the Beverly hillbillies just moved in.
Did you do any better?
We came close a few times,
But you're not talking about the basketball, are you?
Phil, tell me you got some signatures.
I have to be at city hall in, like, two hours.
Oh, god. Haley, how about you?
老天啊 海莉 你那边怎样
I've been busy with my college essay.
Really? Where is it?
It's in a rough, rough draft right now.
I've been thinking that maybe that I should--
Alex has been skyping with her boyfriend since you left.
Really, thank all of you so much for your help.
Sometimes those things need to warm up, like the car.
Phil, don't even. I have been out there,
菲尔 别鬼扯了 我今天一直在外奔波
trying to do something good for our community,
because let me tell you, change doesn't just happen.
It is forged by empowered women like me
[弱点：双关影片名 橄榄球术语 也指对家人支持保护]
And Norma Rae and the lady from "The Blind Side."
比如我 诺玛·蕾 还有《弱点》的那位女士
Do you know what the difference is between me and her?
Blind side's family had her back.
Huddle up, everybody.
Your mother's right.
She's the quarterback of this family,
And we need to protect her like blind side did.
She just said the mom was blind side.
Well, she's confused.
Blind side was the black kid who played tight end.
Sorry. African-american kid.
Ay, thank god you found my dog. Thank you.
谢天谢地 狗被你找到了 多谢你
This is my dog. Her name's pinky.
No, it's not. Her name is stella.
不 不对 她叫斯黛拉
It says right here on the tag. Look.
Uh, uh, uh, excuse me. Hi, sweetie. What's your name?
等下 抱歉 亲爱的 你叫什么名字
Shut up. Mitchell would die.
Listen, we don't know you.
You seem like a very sweet little girl,
And right now we're forced to--
I can't believe I'm saying this to you--
rely on the kindness of strangers.
I'll sell her to you for $200.
That's it. Give me my dog.
Oh, really? The little girl thinks because she can scream,
she can get away with everything? I can scream, too.
What the hell sound is that?
Coyotes must've got a cat.
Jay, can we stop now? I'm getting hungry.
杰 我们能停了吗 我饿了
You know what the problem is? You're not hungry.
知道吗 问题就在于 你卖不出去也不会挨饿
I had a carrot at 3:00.
What if you couldn't feed your family
Unless you made this next sale?
What if you were gonna lose your house?
I know I was pushing the kid hard, but here's the thing--
I'm an older dad. I'm not gonna be around forever.
And I'll sleep better knowing he's got something to fall back on.
Come on! Let's hit another one.
- I can't do it. - What?
- I don't have what it takes. - What kind of talk is that?
It's the truth, Jay.
I'm not a great salesman. I'm not a great businessman.
Do you know what it's like to see all the amazing things
You've accomplished, knowing I never will?
How am I supposed to live up to you?
Ah, so the fish weren't biting today.
So what? That's life.
You tried hard, and that's what matters.
You know, I-I actually need some wrapping paper.
You know where I can find some?
- You don't have to do that. - I want to do it.
You'll never go broke playing to a rich guy's ego---
Thanks so much, you guys.
Maybe you should make a wish.
Uh, hi. Oh, I'm sorry.
Um, I'm here for the Traffic Committee meeting?
The meeting's been adjourned.
- Yeah. Um... - It's my birthday.
I'm sorry. Happy birthday.
Uh, just--someone sent me to the wrong room,
and you guys don't meet again for months,
and this is pretty much a matter of life and death, so...
Uh, yeah, it's fine.
Uh, just-- if you could make it quick.
We--it's an ice cream cake.
- Okay. - A-actually, it's not.
-没问题 -其实 这不是冰激凌的
Really? Oh, then we-- we're not in a rush, I guess.
At all. No rush. Go ahead.
完全不用急 慢慢来 说吧
Great. My name is Claire Dunphy,
and my family and I live near
- that intersection of -- - Why not? Why not?
The freezer was broken, and we couldn't keep it here.
See? This is why I ask you to think ahead, okay?
Do you have your 50 signatures?
Uh, almost. I have 34, but I--
差不多了 我征集了34个 可是
Oh. That's the same thing.
Wow. I'm confused.
- It's not the same thing. - No.
No. 34 is not the same thing as 50,
just like a cake is not the same thing
- as an ice cream cake. -Right.
- I get that. Sir, I'm trying to save lives here, - Mom
-您的意思我懂 但这可是生死攸关的大事 -妈妈
- and I can get you the rest of the signatures. - Mom. Mom. Mom.
-我征集够签名再来 -妈 妈
- Mom! -Oh, my god. What are you doing here? Girls.
-妈 -姑娘们 你们来这干什么
We--we went door to door and we got you 20 more signatures.
That is so sweet of you.
Well, you were freaking out at us, so...
Okay, you know, let's not ruin it.
行了 打住 别破坏气氛
All right, 54 signatures.
Let's start saving lives one intersection at a time.
Okay, thank you very much.
We will, uh, take these under advisement.
just leave 'em here, and thank you--
Wait a minute. I know what that means.
That's Washington-speak for "Get lost."
Well, um, wow, Phil.
what are you doing here?
I'm blindsiding you.
Your honor, permission to approach.
- Not a judge. -I'll allow it.
-他不是法官 -准了 说吧
I'll get straight to the point because this is important,
and that appears to be an ice cream cake.
Okay. I present to you
"Stop in the name of life."
Can I meet you at Harry's bar in two minutes?
Baby, I can do anything in two minutes.
I'll just speed through
the intersection of Greenleaf and Bristol.
It's easy 'cause there's no stop sign.
I love being a kid.
I have my whole life ahead of me.
And unconventional, but I believe it makes our point,
so what do you say?
Well, the kid was all right. I didn't care for you so much.
But if I were to give a stop sign
to everybody who wanted a stop sign... mm-hmm.
This city would grind to a halt.
- I understand, sir, but-- - Thank you, ma'am.
-我明白 可是 -谢谢配合 女士
- Thank you. Thank you. -Allow me. Allow me.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I've lived with this woman for 20 years.
If she wants a stop sign...
There's gonna be a stop sign.
Mm-hmm. He's right.
- Listen to the man. -Yeah.
Oh, hey. Did you find Stella?
I did it! I left the mess. Aren't you proud of me?
我做到了 我没整理 是不是为我感到骄傲
I sure am. Good for you!
You know, it wasn't easy at first,
But I just-- I took Lily to the park,
and I completely put it out of my mind.
And I think I really cleared a hurdle today.
Oh, that's great. I'm super proud of you,
And you're--and you're not even tempted to clean it up now?
- No! -That's great.
No, not now that you're home.
So guess I'd better get started.
I was right. You wanted me to clean it up.
Oh, that's preposterous.
I will not stand here and take this from you.
"Life is messy. I love chaos."
You are so full of it. Well, you know what?
That's all right. No worries. Hey, come on.
没关系 不用担心 一起来糟蹋吧
Come on. Just embrace it. It's life.
Oh! Okay, now that is gratuitous.
- Oh, it's okay. - No! That's Lily's favorite cereal.
-没关系 -不 那是莉莉最爱的谷物早餐
This is ridiculous.
Relax! Hey, Lily! Honey, come here!
放轻松 莉莉 亲爱的 快过来
Sweetheart, do you want a princess hat?
Oh. Oh, okay. That--that is enough! No!
够了 够了 别
You've proven your point. I don't like to clean up.
It's smelly, it's sticky, and after I eat,
I'm tired, and I just want to lay down.
And you put it off, knowing that I would do it?
Yes! Are you happy?
Hi. I'm Ellen Roberts from the adoption agency.
I'm... Here for the home visit.
I might need to tweak my system.
Hey, dad. Think fast.
Wait,wait,wait...I need a break.
Oh! John philip sousa!
We are on our way.
You know what, Lukey? My dad was away a lot.
知道吗 小克 我老爸几乎从来不跟我一起疯
And I'm not gonna do that to you.
I'm gonna be the kind of dad...
How many more of these do you wanna do?