摩登家庭 第三季 Modern Family Season 3 第5集: Hit and Run

上映日期: 2,011

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 杰森·维纳

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里德·尤因 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格


台词
Hey, sir. Duane Bailey, running for, uh,
你好 先生 我是杜恩·贝利
town council reelection.
准备参加镇议员改选
- Oh, don't look. There's that jerk Duane Bailey. - Oh, yuck.
-别看 是杜恩·贝利那个混蛋 -唉 真衰
I should say something to him, shouldn't I?
你说我是不是该损损他
I gotta be honest, I was just walking off your tone.
实话说 我刚刚只是妇唱夫随
Who's Duane Bailey and why do we hate him?
杜恩·贝利是谁 我们为什么要恨人家啊
Honey, he's that councilman who shot down my stop sign.
亲爱的 他就是否决我停车牌议案的那货
- Big phony - Yeah.
-傻大缺 -没错
Hey! Duane Bailey seeking reelection town council.
你好 我是杜恩·贝利 竞选镇议员连任
Hope I can count on your vote.
希望你能投我一票哦
Well, you just got it.
好啊 我一定投你
You don't remember meeting me,do you.
你不记得见过我 是吧
Claire Dunphy,last month town council meeting.
克莱尔·邓菲 上个月镇会议上见过
Oh, yes I do.
哦 当然
Yes I remember you.
我当然记得你
I want a stop sign.
给老娘个停车牌
Just having fun. Here, have a pen.
开个玩笑啦 来 拿支笔吧
"Duane bailey.
杜恩·贝利
[哈巴小猎犬 哈巴犬和小猎犬的杂交品种]
Councilman. Citizen. Puggle breeder."
忠诚议员 良好市民 哈巴小猎犬爱好者
I love them.
我爱哈巴小猎犬
Because they're a different mix of breeds,
因为那是种族大融合的产物
just like America.
恰似美利坚合众国
I like what he's saying, Claire.
我很赞同他的话 克莱尔
- He isn't saying anything. - Look at his...
-他说的完全狗屁不通 -看这个
We need a stop sign at our intersection.
我家路口需要立个停车牌
Everyone says that,
谁都想立停车牌
But pretty soon,
若是听之任之
we're stopping at every single corner.
我们就要"转角遇到停车牌"了
Why don't you go ask Canada how that's working out?
加拿大倒是停车牌遍布 在那儿开车多悲剧啊
- He nailed it. - Hi. Duane Bailey.
-他真有才 -你好 我是杜恩·贝利
"Actor/writer/director who packs a punch."
身兼演员编剧导演 铁拳勇猛谁敢争先
- Oh, Sylvester Stallone. - Sylvester Stallone.
-是席尔维斯特·史泰龙 -席尔维斯特·史泰龙
I said it first.
我先说的
Oh, my god.
我的天啊
This guy brought his kids, Mitchell.
这人居然带孩子来 米奇尔
What, to this movie? Isn't it supposed to be super violent?
让孩子看这影片 这片子可是暴力无下限啊
I'm sorry. I don't mean to overstep, but I don't know
抱歉 我不是想多管闲事 但是
that this movie is really appropriate for children.
这部电影好像有点"少儿不宜"吧
I'm terrified to see it. That's why we're here during the day.
我都不敢看 所以我们才挑白天来
It's okay. We're good.
没事 我们受得了
Okay.
好吧
I tried.
我尽力了
Yeah. All you can do.
是啊 尽你所能了
You know, I've--I've read this book,
知道吗 我读过原著的
And I know what's gonna happen, and it's very disturbing.
知道大致剧情 的确很可怕
I really think you might be inviting
我觉得 您这是自找罪受
some pretty serious nightmares here.
想晚上做噩梦吧
Hey, buddy, they're my kids. I got it.
兄弟 听好 我的孩子我做主
Yeah, but I don't think you do.
是吗 我可不觉得
Cam. Cam. He says he's got it, all right?
小卡 小卡 他说了他做主
You said your piece. Just watch the movie.
你仁至义尽了 好好看电影吧
Oh, uh, Gwyneth Paltrow.
是格温妮丝·帕特洛
- I really must insist you not traumatize your kids... - Cam.
-您真不该毒害您的孩子... -小卡
- by exposing them to gratuitous violence... - Stop it. Shh!
-不该让他们过早接触暴力影片 -别说了
- and graphic depictions of-- - Daddy, I'm scared.
-以及血腥影像 -爸爸 我吓到了
Yeah, well, you're gonna be.
是啊 待会儿更吓死你
I'm gonna tell you one more time.
我最后警告你一次
- No, I'm gonna tell you one more time. - Okay.
-不 是我最后警告你一次 -好了
It was "The Muppet" Movie.
人家看的电影是《布偶》
We were in the wrong theater.
我们进错放映厅了
Enjoy the show. I was always a fan of the Muppets,
好好看哦 我一直都很喜欢布偶系列的
Especially the two guys in the theater
尤其是那两个在剧场
- who wouldn't shut up. - Just leave.
-喋喋不休的"好人" -赶紧走
家 庭
摩 登
第三季 第五集
- Hello? - I'm running late.
-喂 -我要晚一点了
This knucklehead's kept me waiting for over an hour.
那傻缺让我等了一个多小时
I never had to wait like this when his dad was running things.
他爸当权的时候 都没让我等这么久
Yeah.
是啊
And soda was a nickel.
改朝换代政策变
[原意为 苏打当年只买5分钱呢]
Just tell them that your family is coming over.
直接告诉他 你家人要来参加家庭聚会
This guy fired his own father.
那货把他老爸都给炒了
He's not gonna care about my family.
他才不会鸟我的什么家人呢
Okay, then just leave.
那你就直接走呗
You don't need his money.
你又不需要他的钱
Once a week, I have eight family members
每个礼拜 都有八张嘴
coming to my house for free food.
来咱家白吃白喝
I'm not going anywhere.
我走不起
Okay. I see you when I see you.
行 那就回家再见吧
Are you okay? What is wrong?
你怎么了 出什么事了吗
I want to be homeschooled.
我真想在家自学
Really, Manny? Do you want me to learn you English?
当真吗 曼尼 你想让我"学"你英语吗
What is going on?
到底怎么了
I have a big report due,
有份报告要做
And the teachers don't seem to care about the substance.
但老师根本不在乎文章内容
All they care about is the flash.
他们只重视花巧外表
Manny, sometimes you can be a little bit old-fashioned.
曼尼啊 有时候你有点守旧
Remember the first time
还记得你第一次
you saw the kids with the backpacks with wheels
看见小朋友用滑轮背包时
and you thought they were too flashy?
你还觉得太花哨
[机场多用滑轮箱包]
You're going to school, not boarding a flight to Denver.
我是去上学 又不是要登机去丹佛
It's getting absurd.
真是荒谬
Reuben freestyle-rapped his report on Irish immigrants.
雷本那篇爱尔兰移民报告 竟是说唱形式表现的
That doesn't even make sense.
真是莫名其妙
Maybe you do a Riverdance. Maybe.
或许他可以跳个爱尔兰踢踏舞 又怎样
- What is your report on? - The Mafia.
-报告是什么主题 -黑手党
Perfect. We do a papier-mache Tommy gun.
太好了 我们做个冲锋枪纸模
Oh, no. We shouldn't have to jazz it up.
不 我们不搞那些花里胡哨的
Okay, then we go upstairs and we get your old rocking horse
那好 我们去楼上把你的旧木马拿来
and we chop the head off.
斩首示众 以显主题
No, that's a terrible idea. I love Brownie!
不 太残忍了 我喜欢布朗尼
Do you want to send a message or not?
你到底想不想"杀马震师"啊
Jay never wants me to help him with his business,
杰从不让我插手他的生意
And now suddenly, manny doesn't want to listen to me either.
突然间 曼尼也不听我的话了
It's very frustrating.
真让老娘郁闷啊
I have all the answers.
老娘可是万事通
Hey! There he is.
嘿 你来了
- Bring it in , Jay. How you doing, Joshie?
-快进来 杰 -你好吗 乔小希
- It's Josh now. - Have a seat.
-还是叫我乔希吧 -请坐
Ah, all right.
那好
So I flipped through your proposal,
我大概看了一下你的方案
And here's the thing--
是这样...
We're about to build our largest luxury condo complex yet.
我们的超规模豪华复合式公寓 开建在即
And I have an important question for you--
有个重要的问题要问你
what is it you want to build?
你想要构筑什么
Closets.
壁橱
See, I was kinda hoping you'd say "Dreams."
你看 我指望你会说"构筑梦想"呢
I thought that was implied.
我暗含那个意思
Jay, I'm looking for closets nobody's ever seen before,
杰 我的壁橱可要是空前绝后的
You know, a big "Wow!"
惊艳之作
You know what I'm saying?
明白我的意思吗
You want a nice closet with sharp design,
你追求的是上好的壁橱
quality materials, and expert craftsmanship.
要设计新锐 质量上乘 做工精湛
Uh, I mean, I want it to be like, bam!
不止如此 我还要它举世皆惊
You know, people are gonna walk in there and go
大家走进来然后说
"Whoa! What do I hang first?"
"哇 先挂哪件好呢"
I wanted to hang myself.
先挂了我吧
Yeah, let's talk more specific.
谈点详细的吧
What exactly do you like and what don't you like?
您的喜厌好恶到底怎样
All right, fair enough. Uh...
好吧 有道理
I don't like this. This makes me sad.
我不喜欢谈细节 很不爽
I do like getting my mind blown.
我喜欢奇思妙想
I love your enthusiasm.
你的狂热我很欣赏
Uh, before I go off in the wrong direction,
为免我思路偏差 不合你意
How about an example?
给个例子行吗
All right, check this out.
好吧 听着
So, like, three weeks ago, I'm down in South Beach.
三周前 我去南部海滩度假
I walk into this thumpin' club.
我走进摇滚俱乐部
Bartender says, "What do you wanna drink?"
酒保问我"你要喝什么"
I say, "Wow me."
我说"给我个惊喜"
He mixes this thing together. I take one sip,
他调了杯酒 我就喝了一小口
and I'm like, "Hello, nurse!"
再醒来时 我说"护士姐姐好"
And she's like, "You've been unconscious for two days."
护士告诉我 "你已经昏迷两天了"
That's what I want in a closet.
我的壁橱要的就是这个感觉
I don't think I need to hear any more.
我想我不需要再听了
Whatcha doing there? Homework?
你干啥呢 做作业吗
What do you want?
有话快说
I need to borrow some money. It's really important.
我想借点钱 江湖救急
How much?
借多少
$900.
900美元
What?!
什么
Come on. If you were in trouble,
拜托了 如果你遇到困难
I would do anything for you.
我会倾囊相助的
We're not just sisters.
我们是姐妹以上
We're best friends.
闺蜜已满啊
Look, I would if I could,
不是我不帮
but I don't have any money.
我是真的没钱啊
And since we're talking,
既然话都说开了
I never told anyone this before, and it...
我就老实说吧 那谁谁
...wipe that smug smile off his stupid face.
别蠢脸堆笑充市花了
His face is stupid.
他那张脸是够蠢
Oh! I can't believe ridiculous people like him end up in office.
这种跳梁小丑竟能当上公务员
Well, why don't you run?
你为什么不参选呢
You're smart, you care about the community,
你聪明过人 关爱社区
and you're easy on the eyes when you put a little effort into it.
稍微打扮下 也蛮有红颜铁娘子风范
- Are you serious? - Yeah, you know,
-说真的吗 -是啊
maybe change out of the sweaty gym clothes every once in while.
别整天穿着汗湿的运动装就行
I thought you were talking about running for office.
我知道 你是问参选那句吗
Go on.
接着说
I'd be lying if I said I'd never thought about it.
说没想过肯定是骗人
I mean, I know it's a ridiculous little local thing,
我知道那只是个芝麻官
but it might be fun to get out there and contribute.
但踏出家门 奉献市民 也未尝不好
Plus I think I'd be good at it.
再说 我觉得自己能够胜任
- You'd be great. - Mm. How would this work?
-你一定很出色 -但如何能行呢
I mean, who would be here for the kids after school?
孩子放学后谁照顾
Who would take them to practice and recitals
谁带他们去排练 去朗诵会
and keep them from burning the house down?
阻止他们上房揭瓦呢
It must be so hard being a single mom.
"单亲妈妈"真心不容易
Claire, I will.
克莱尔 有你老公在呢
If you wanna fly,
如果你想高飞
I'm not gonna hold your feet to the ground. Hmm.
我绝不扯你后腿
I wanna be the one to push you off the cliff.
我会助力一臂 推你离地
I think I'm gonna do it.
我决定了
Great.
很好
- Go fly. - Phil.
-飞吧 -菲尔
- No. - Oh, phil!
-天啊 -菲尔
I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women--
我得承认 我就是女强人控
Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice,
米歇尔·奥巴马 奥普拉 康多莉扎·赖斯
Serena Williams--
塞雷娜·威廉姆斯[小威廉姆斯]
Wait a minute.
慢着 不对[菲尔提到的都是黑人]
- Do you want a fry? - No, I can't eat.
-要吃薯条吗 -不要 我吃不下
We should've stayed and seen "The Muppets."
我们还不如留下来看《布偶》
I can't even look at ketchup without seeing blood.
我现在一看番茄酱 还觉得满目血腥
Ooh, runaway curly fry. You know these are good luck.
漏网卷薯条 好运的象征
- Oh, my god. What was that? - We just got rear-ended.
-天啊 怎么回事 -追尾了
Oh, pull off to the side street. Pull off to the side street.
靠边停车 靠边停车
- Are you okay? - Oh, I think I cut the roof of my mouth on the straw.
-你还好吗 -上牙膛被吸管划破了
- Oh, my god. Mm! - So yes.
-我的老天 -所以说没事咯
Oh, boy.
天啊
I am so sorry. This is all my fault.
真抱歉 都是我的错
Are you guys okay?
你们还好吗
W-well, I-I sustained a minor mouth injury.
我嘴里受了点小伤
We're fine. Thank you. It's...
我们没事 谢谢
Look, I feel terrible.
我真过意不去
Um, don't worry. I'm gonna take care of everything.
别担心 我来处理这件事
Let me just get my insurance info.
我去拿保险单
Okay. Thank you.
好的 谢谢
Well, he seems nice.
这个人不错啊
You know, if this were a romantic comedy,
按爱情喜剧片标准情节
this would be our meet cute.
这就是我和他的意外邂逅
We'd spend the rest of the afternoon
我们一起打发这个午后
drinking wine, eating food,
喝喝小酒 吃点小饭
flying a kite, you know, doing montage-y stuff.
放风筝 此处蒙太奇慢放
Yeah, am I in this movie of yours?
我在你的电影里吗
Yeah, you're the gay best friend.
在啊 你是我的"Gay蜜"
- Oh, my god! - Oh, my god! We have a runner!
-我的天 -我的天 这货逃逸了
Um, it's d-w-y-- I can't read it.
车牌是D W Y 我看不清了
- Come on! Let's go! Let's go! - Go where?
-快点 跑啊 -跑去哪
- We have to chase him down! - No, we're not supposed to do that!
-我们得去追他 -不能这么做
Help! Stop that car!
来人啊 拦住那辆车
He's getting away! Help!
他逃逸了 来人啊
Yeah, you almost got him, Cam. You almost got him.
马上就追到了 小卡 马上就追到了
He's getting away!
他逃逸了
Whatcha doing? Playing?
你干啥呢 玩游戏吗
Yeah.
是啊
Do you have any money saved up?
你有存私房钱吗
I'm comfortable.
小康生活吧
I've saved $1,217.
我攒了1217美元
It wasn't even that hard.
不费吹灰之力
Don't forget your lunch.
别忘了带午餐
Thanks, mom.
谢了 老妈
Don't forget your lunch money, buddy.
午餐钱拿好 兄弟
Thanks, dad.
谢了 老爸
You bet.
那当然
Please. It's really important.
求你了 我真是急需用钱
Look, I'd love to help you out,
我是真想帮你
but I'm not very liquid right now.
可我最近周转不灵
It's in a block of ice.
钱都冻在冰砖里了
I got the idea
我听说过
when I heard about rich guys with frozen assets.
有钱人"冻结资产"的事 灵光一现
Assets.
资产啊
I am running for town council,
我准备参选市政议员
and I understand that I can pick up a form here.
申请表是在这领吧
Fourth floor.
去4楼
Elevator down the hall.
电梯在大厅那边
Beyonce, when'd you start working here?
碧昂丝 你怎么来这上班了
Oh, Duane. He's always saying stuff like that.
又是杜恩 他老说这些俏皮话
Duane Bailey. Running for reelection.
我是杜恩·贝利 正在竞选连任
You're joking.
真是贵人多忘事
I just saw you in the parking lot two hours ago.
我们两小时前才在停车场见过
Oh, hey. It's you!
原来是你啊
Oh, it's you.
怎么是你啊
What... Are you doing here?
你 来这儿干嘛
I am entering the race for town council,
我也要参加镇议会的选举
and I am running against you.
我要和你唱对台戏
Oh. Well, don't you have pluck.
好吧 真是勇气可嘉
No, I plan on winning, so...
不 我志在必得 所以
Oh, yeah, I bet you do.
我猜你就这么想
Marcia! Rocking the bangs! Love it.
玛莎 打扮得不错啊 爱死了
Do you know why, of all the dogs in the world,
你知道吗 为何世上小狗千千万
I breed puggles?
我独爱哈巴小猎犬
Why do I feel like this is a rhetorical question,
我预感你是要自问自答吧
- And you're about to l-- - It's because they're lovable, yes,
-接着你就要... -因为他们不光讨人爱
but they're also tenacious hunters who won't quit
还是顽强的猎手 不咬死猎物
until the kill is complete.
誓不罢休
Really? 'cause I feel like they just yip a lot.
真的吗 我倒是觉得他们老是汪个不停
Look, lady, you're going down.
女士 你会一败涂地的
I've won six straight elections.
我六次选举一路全胜
I don't plan on losing to some bored housewife,
我可不会输给居里闲人
so don't quit your lack of a day job.
接着当主妇吧 小心失业
Excuse me!
你给我站住
Excuse me!
你给我站住
Excuse me.
您请等一下
Hello?
Anne.
是安妮啊
Haley did that?
海莉真干得出来
Oh, god. Okay. Um...
天啊 好吧
I'll call you right back.
我一会再打给你
For your information, sir,
您有必要知道 先生
I am no bored housewife.
我才不是居里闲人
No, I-I would kill for "Bored." Why isn't this lighting up?
我是想闲闲不下来呢 指示灯怎么还不亮
Oh, it's because it's, uh, staff only.
因为这是员工专用
Here. Allow me to...
来 请允许我
Not get that for you.
不为你效劳了
Good luck!
祝你好运
Dad, I cut my arm.
老爸 我把胳膊划伤了
Oh, wow. You sure did, buddy.
划得够深的呀 老弟
I'll get you fixed up.
我来帮你处理
Where's mom?
老妈去哪儿了
She belongs to the people now.
她现在属于人民群众了
My allergies are acting up again.
我的过敏症又犯了
Well, it is your lucky day,
今天你走运了
Because, missy,
因为呢 小姐
Dr. Dad has everything you need.
医生老爹应有尽有
Behold the healing powers of grape flavoring.
瞧这葡萄味灵丹圣水的魔力吧
Where's mom?
妈妈去哪儿了
Some people took her.
她移情别"人"了
Drink this.
喝了
Listen, guys, your mom is taking on more responsibilities
孩子们 你妈妈现在除了家务之外
outside of the... house,
还另有职责
But don't you worry.
不过别担心
Good old... Dad-- oh, my goodness!
金牌奶爸全 我的妈呀
I'm so sorry!
对不起
You punched me!
你打到我了
Dad, you gave me the drowsy kind.
爸 你给我的是催睡型的
There's a drowsy kind?!
过敏药还有催睡型的吗
I have to study for a test!
我还要复习备考呢
Oh! It really hurts!
真的好痛啊
- Well, I'll get you some ice. - No. No, no, no.
-我帮你找点冰块 -别 别 别
I'll get it.
我自己来吧
Oh, you made it. How was it?
你总算赶上了 事情办得怎么样
Why? What's wrong, babe?
怎么了 出什么事了 亲爱的
- I don't want to talk about it. - Do it anyways.
-我不想说这个 -说来听听嘛
Uh, this stupid kid's been in the business about ten minutes.
那个蠢货才刚刚踏入这个行业
He barely looks at my proposal,
他基本上没看我的方案
and he says he wants more "Wow."
还说他想要"惊艳之作"
What does he mean by more "Wow"?
他所谓的"惊艳"是什么
It's the "Bieber-ization" of America.
是种典型"比伯式"美化说法
[水獭 音似比伯 著名正太歌手Justin Bieber]
What do beavers have to do with anything?
关水獭什么事
The beavers--they build the dams all over the country
水獭啊 他们全国到处修水坝
so there's no floods,
使美国免遭洪灾
is the "Beaver-ization" Of the Americas.
这就是美国的水獭化
I'm finding there's less and less we can talk about.
我们之间的共同语言越来越少
So why didn't you tell him
那你怎么不告诉他
that you've been in the business for such a long time--
你干这行经验丰富
It's not gonna make any difference.
说了也没用
He wants to make a change.
他一心想要改革
And I got a factory full of people depending on this.
全工厂上下都要靠这个单子养活
- Yeah, but maybe if you tell him that -- - Gloria, please.
-不然你就告诉他 -拜托 歌洛莉亚
I-I-I've had a tough day.
我今天很不顺
Can we please not talk about it?
先不谈这事了好吗
But I want to help.
可人家想帮你嘛
Trust me. I wish you had the answers.
相信我 我倒希望你能帮上忙
I do!
我能的
- Hey, guys. - Hey, grandpa.
-各位 -外公好
- Hey, Jay. - What's with her?
-你好啊 杰 -她怎么了
Just tired. Growth spurt.
只是困了 青春期嗜睡
- Hi, guys. - Hi, baby girl.
-大家好啊 -嗨 小姑娘
Hola, Lily. How are you?
莉莉 你好嘛
Dads are fighting.
大爸二爸吵架了
No, uh, we're not fighting.
没有 我们没吵架
No, not at all, honey.
宝贝 绝对没有
No. Okay, uh, go play, sweetheart. Okay?
没吵架 宝贝 玩去吧 好吗
Let's go play with some blocks. Let's go stack some blocks.
我们玩积木去吧 堆积木去
All right. Okay, the reason we're fighting
好吧 我们之所以吵架是因为
is 'cause this one thinks he's dirty Harry.
他竟然自以为是警探哈里
[克林特·伊斯特伍德饰演的硬汉角色]
Having a hard time picturing Clint Eastwood in that shirt.
真难想象伊斯特伍德穿你那样的"基情衬衫"
Okay, let me ask you something.
好 我问问你
Today, at a stoplight, a guy ran into our car,
今天 有个家伙在红灯时撞了我们的车
and then just took off.
然后肇事潜逃
I wanted to chase after him. Mitchell...
我想去追他 而米奇尔
kept a level head and called the police.
很淡定地报了警
Pfft. Police. Aren't they too busy winning the war on drugs?
切 警察 他们不都忙着扫黄禁药吗
Okay, so which one of us did the right thing?
你们评评理 我们俩谁的处理方法正确
Hit and run. Gotta chase him down.
肇事逃逸 必须追捕
I chase the people all the time.
我成天就追着人跑
No. No. That's--that's irresponsible and dangerous.
不不 那样既不负责任 又危险
Okay, well, what if he had been armed?
好吧 要是他有枪怎么办
He wasn't armed. He had a Hillary bumper sticker.
他车尾贴着希拉里的头像 肯定是个禁枪派
This isn't an isolated incident.
不只这一回
This morning he flipped out at somebody at the muppet movie.
今早他看布偶电影时还冲别人发疯
You saw the muppet movie without me?
你们撇下我去看布偶电影吗
Oh, no.
不是的
No, honey. Just the first two numbers.
宝贝 不是的 我们是进错影厅看错片了
No, lily. Wait.
莉莉 不是的
Hi. Hi. Hi. Phil, where are you, honey?
大家好 菲尔 你在哪儿 宝贝
I need to talk to you. Do you know what our daughter did?
有事跟你谈 你知道咱女儿闯什么祸了吗
Nothing. She's fine. She's reading.
没啥 她很好 在看书呢
No, not her. Haley. Haley!
不是她 是海莉 海莉给我出来
- Come over here. I want to talk to you. -There she is.
-过来 我有话问你 -她在这儿呢
Not a scratch on her.
没缺胳膊少腿
Do you have something you want to say to us?
你有什么要告诉我们的吗
- Uh... - Mm... Let me help you out here.
-这个... -让我帮你说吧
Fake ID's?
伪造身份证
- What?! - Mm-hmm.
-什么 -正是
Haley tried to get her and her friends some fake ID's.
海莉想给自己和她朋友弄些假身份证
I wasn't gonna use them for drinking.
我买假身份证不是为了买酒
We just wanted to get into this club to see a band.
我们只是想去酒吧看场乐队表演
She took a bunch of money from them and then she lost it.
她收了他们一笔钱 然后弄丢了
- How much? - $900.
-多少钱啊 -900美元
- Oh, my god! Oh! - You're kidding me!
-我的天 -开什么玩笑
It's not my fault!
真不怨我
I gave money to this guy. He's the one who ripped us off.
我把钱给了那家伙 他把我们给忽悠了
What happened to your face?
你的脸怎么了
- Oh. I ran into a door. - Yeah.
-噢 我撞门上了 -是啊
- What happened to your face? - Dad hit me.
-你的脸怎么了 -老爸打的
It was an accident.
纯属意外
- Phil! - I was trying to open up a band-aid!
-菲尔 -我当时是想撕开创可贴
What's wrong with her?
她怎么了
- Growth spurt. - What's wrong with her?
-青春期嗜睡吧 -到底怎么了
- I drugged her. - Phil!
-我给她下药了 -菲尔
I accidentally gave her the nighttime allergy medicine.
我不小心给她吃了夜间服用的过敏药
Mm. All right, one thing at a time.
好吧 先一桩桩的来
Haley, how are you going to repay your friends?
海莉 你打算如何把钱还给你朋友
I don't know.
我不知道
I know. You go there with a couple of guys--
我知道 你带上几个弟兄去找他
She's gotta get the money back. Who is this kid?
她会把钱拿回来的 那小鬼是谁
A guy at school's cousin's friend. He lives in Gardena.
是我同学表哥的朋友 他住在加迪纳
Well, if you know where he lives, just call the police.
知道他的老巢在哪儿还不简单 报警就是了
No cops. We can't afford a scandal right now.
不能报警 咱家现在不能有丑闻
Claire's running for town council.
克莱尔要竞选镇议员呢
That was before,
那是之前
when I thought you could take care of the children.
我以为你能照顾好孩子们
I take my eye off the ball for one minute,
我就一小会儿没盯着孩子
and I've got one in a coma, one with a black eye,
他们就一个倒地不起 一个变熊猫眼
and one running a crime ring.
还有一个在组织犯罪团伙
Well, to be fair, Haley started her crime ring
说句公道话 海莉的"小犯罪团伙"
when your eye was still on the ball.
早在你盯着的时候就已经开始形成了
It's not a crime ring.
那可不是犯罪团伙
I just gotta get my hands on that $900.
我就是想拿回我那900元
I know how the mafia would handle this.
我知道黑手党一般怎么解决这事儿
The kid is right. I'm sick of these smart-ass punks
孩子说得对 我最讨厌那些小混混
who keep changing the rules
出尔反尔 乱了道上规矩
and think they can get away with anything they want.
目中无人 自以为凌驾一切
I'm gonna pay this guy a visit.
我要去会会那家伙
Haley, text me his address.
海莉 把他地址发给我
- I'm going with you. - Me, too.
-我和你一起去 -我也去
Oh, no. No. Nobody's going anywhere.
不不 谁也不能去
Okay, we're not vigilantes.
咱又不是治安队的
Shotgun!
带上枪
No! No weapons!
不 别抄家伙啊
In my country, it is tradition
按我老家的传统
when the men are out seeking vengeance,
当男人出门寻仇时
The women--they stay home, and they drink.
女人们就在家喝酒
Sometimes I think you just make this stuff up.
有时我觉得你纯粹是胡编乱造的
- Do you want a drink or not? - Oh, yeah.
-你到底要不要来一瓶 -乐意至极
So what happened?
到底是怎么回事
You were running for office, and now you're not?
你本来要去竞选 现在又不干了吗
Mm. I don't really want to talk about that.
我不太想谈这个
I know. I am sick and tired of no one needing my help.
我就知道 我受够不被人需要的感觉了
You are going to tell me what is wrong,
你得告诉我出什么岔子了
and I'm gonna give you the right answer,
而我会告诉你怎么解决
because I have all of them.
因为我是万事通
So why are you not running for office?
说 你怎么又不去竞选了
Because my family needs me too much.
因为我的家人缺了我不行
You saw what just happened.
你刚也看到我们家的各种乱子了
Why are you not running for office?
你怎么又不去竞选了
That doesn't work on me.
这招对我可没用
Why are you not running for office?!
你怎么又不去竞选
Because I don't want to lose!
因为 我不想输
I--pfft!
我靠
I haven't done anything outside of my house in 18 years.
我已经18年没在外工作了
I don't want the first thing I do to be a complete failure.
我不想我干的第一件事就一败涂地
Okay.
好吧
I'm gonna tell you a story about a little girl
我要给你讲个小女孩的故事
who entered a beauty pageant...
她去参加一次选美
even though she was very, very scared that she was going to lose.
尽管她非常非常害怕失败
Let me guess. You won.
让我猜猜 你赢了
Of course I won,
我当然赢了
But I was talking about my cousin Maria Conchita.
但我说的是我表妹玛丽亚·肯奇塔
She had a nose like a toucan.
她鼻子大得像巨嘴鸟
She stuffed her body in this bikini.
非得把身体塞进比基尼里
And at the end, she finished dead last.
最后 她光荣牺牲了
How is that a good story?
这故事的启迪作用在哪儿
Because she faced her fears, and it didn't kill her.
因为她直面恐惧 没被恐惧吓死
What killed her two weeks later was a bus.
她是两周后被一辆公交车撞死的
Are you serious?
有没有搞错啊你
Yes, because she couldn't see anything coming with that big nose.
她那鼻子太大了挡视线 没看见车碾过来
This guy has won six elections.
我的竞争对手赢过6次选举
I am way out of my league.
我真是力不从心
Look, I don't know anything about this guy,
听着 我不了解你那竞争对手
But I know that you're a tough lady,
但我知道你是个女强人
and I come from a family of tough ladies.
姐姐我从小就是在女强人家吓大的
And I have to say, sometimes you scare me a little bit.
我必须承认 有时你的霸气绝对吓到我
And I know that you're strong enough to win
所以我坚信你必胜
And definitely strong enough to be okay if you lose.
就算输了也会一笑而过
I scare you?
我有吓到你
Are you kidding me?
那还用说
I want thanksgiving at my house!
今年感恩节要在老娘家过[上季剧情]
Why does everybody think I talk like that?
为何人人都觉得我说话就是那样的
This is it.
就是这儿了
W-w-wait. No, no. Come on. Do we have a plan?
等等 别急 我们有作战计划吗
It doesn't seem like we have a plan.
貌似没计划好吧
Yeah, I got a plan. Either he gives us the money,
哥有计划 那小兔崽子要是不还钱
[原指一个双人歌唱组合]
Or he gets a private performance from England Dan and John Ford Coley.
就让他尝尝哥的哼哼哈嘿双截棍
That's not a good plan. That's not even a good band.
你那算毛的好计划啊 那乐队本身就烂死了
If all you're gonna do is criticize, just wait by the car.
你要是只想唧唧歪歪 还是在车里等着吧
Okay, fine.
好吧
I'll see you in jail.
等我去探监你们吧
It's gonna be a big adjustment for two of you.
你俩可得花一大笔保释金
-Yeah? -You peter?
-什么事 -你是皮特吗
What do you want?
有何贵干
You know haley dunphy? You owe her $900.
你认识海莉·邓菲吗 你欠她900块
-We're here to collect. -You dig?
-我们是来收钱的 -明白吗
I tried to call that girl, like, ten times,
我给她打了N次电话了
But her voice mail was always... Full.
但她语音信箱总是满的
That does sound like Haley.
确实挺像海莉的风格啊
So how are you gonna make this right?
那你打算怎么挽救啊
You guys want the money, right? That's fine.
你们就是想要钱嘛 没问题
I don't need any hassle. Hold on.
我也不想多费唇舌 等一下
I'll just... grab it.
我这就去取钱
That was easy.
轻松搞定
He's lucky he didn't put up a fight.
他倒是挺识趣 没敢动手
I would've treated him to a reunion of Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young!
否则哥让他尝尝无影脚 倚天剑 加屠龙刀
[原指另一个歌唱组合]
-We got a runner! -Runner!
-那小子跑了 -抓住他
Stop! Stop!
站住 站住
Stop!
站住
No. No. No.
别跑 别跑
No.
别跑
I got him!
我抓住他了
-Oh, my god. You did! -Don't be so surprised.
-天哪 你做到了 -别那么惊讶
Help! He's slipping out of his skinny jeans.
快帮我 他要"金蝉脱裤"啦
These are cute. I totally have these.
裤子好可爱哦 我也想要
There you go!
要回钱了
Oh, you got it back! Thank you!
你要回钱了 谢谢外公
Hey, don't thank me. Thank your uncle Mitchell.
别谢我 谢你米奇尔舅舅
He's the one who tackled the guy.
他才是擒贼英雄
-I got grass stains. -Well, I will tell you one thing.
-我染上了光荣的草绿色 -好吧 我只能说
I have learned my lesson.
我受到了深刻的教育
Disappointing my family and friends
让我的家人和朋友失望
is punishment enough.
是对我最大的惩罚
Nice try. You're grounded for two weeks.
装得挺像 你还是得禁闭两周
Okay, we have big news.
来吧 我们有个大新闻
Claire has decided to run for mayor after all.
克莱尔最终决定参选镇长
Thank you, but it's town council.
谢谢 实际上只是镇议员而已
It doesn't matter. You're not going to win anyways.
无所谓职位 反正你也赢不了
But she's going to be okay. You see?
但她肯定会一笑而过的 看到了吗
I help the people.
我能帮助他人
Why don't you two let me help you?
为什么不让我助你们爷俩一臂之力呢
Well, I can't speak for Jay,
我不知道杰是什么原因
But I guess I'm just too proud to ask for help.
我反正是因为自尊心太强 不想求助
Are you serious? She cuts your steak.
有没有搞错 你连牛排都求你妈来切
What about you?
那你呢
I don't want to bother you with my business.
我不想让生意上的事烦你
What else do I do every day?
那我每天还能干点啥
I don't know. I'm guessing the gym.
我不知道 我猜大概是去健身
And... One other thing?
还有 别的啥
Dad, you should listen to her. She might really help you.
爸 你应该听她的 或许她能帮到你哦
She could be an asset.
她能帮上"大"忙呢[胸大臀大 资本"丰厚"]
-Asset. -Heard it.
-"资本" -听到了
And look at the shelves over here.
看看这些架子
They're for the shoes. Those are my favorite ones.
可以放鞋 这些都是我的最爱哦
So what do you think?
您觉得如何呢
Wow!
哇哦
Same... Exact... Closet.
与之前的壁橱完全一样
We never needed fake I.D.S on the farm.
想当年在农场我们不需要什么假身份证
We figured if a 16-year-old could drive a tractor,
我们觉得如果16岁的孩子能开拖拉机
He could drink a beer. Not at the same time, of course.
那喝啤酒肯定也没问题 当然不能一边喝一边开
It's Missouri, not Texas.
我们那儿是密苏里州 可不是德克萨斯
I used a fake I.D. to get into an "R"-rated movie--
我用假身份证去租过一部重口味电影
"The Fabulous Baker Boys."
《贝克兄弟》
I found the title to be misleading.
我发现那片名简直是误导观众
Lot of Michelle Pfeiffer-- that's all I'm saying.
女主角戏份太重 不够基情 太坑爹了
I remember when I got my fake I.D.
我记得我也搞过假身份证
Me, too. Crazy times.
我也是 年少轻狂
Hell, yeah. I tried to enlist in the army,
当年我想要应征入伍
But they saw right through me, so me and a bunch of guys
结果被看穿了 之后我就跟一帮家伙们
drove across state lines, we got a bunch of booze.
开车越过国境线 搞到一些烈酒
We loaded up on fireworks, and I woke up in the morning--
我们边放烟火边豪饮 等我醒过来
I kid you not-- in a mexican strip joint.
不骗你们 我们居然是在一个墨西哥脱衣舞场
You?
你呢
Uh, I used mine to rent some bowling shoes and kept 'em.
我用假身份证去借保龄球鞋 然后将之据为己有
Suckers probably spent months
那帮笨蛋大概会花好几个月时间
trying to track down Dr. Richard Hertz.
去找那个所谓的理查德·赫兹博士
Think about it.
多疯狂啊