摩登家庭 第三季 Modern Family Season 3 第7集: 树屋童年梦 Treehouse

上映日期: 2,011

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 杰森·维纳

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里德·尤因 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格


台词
Honey, what is all this?
亲爱的 你弄来些啥玩意儿啊
Hey, Mam, I'm trying to write these stupid college essay questions.
老妈 我在纠结大学申请的论文题目
And I really even don't know how to start.
但我真不知道该如何下笔
OK, what's the question? Tell me.
好吧 告诉我是什么题目
"what's the biggest obstacle you've ever had to overcome?"
你有生以来遇到的需要克服的最大困难是什么
Didn't my third grade teacher say
我三年级的老师是不是说
I had,Like, A.D.D. or something?
我有注意力不足症什么的
Oh, no, honey. She said you couldn't ADD.
不 宝贝儿 她是说你不会做加法
and she put it that way because she also knew you couldn't s-p-e-l-l.
她用字母说明 是因为她知道你也不会拼写
Wait,slow down... Oh...
等一下 慢点 原来如此啊
Sweet heart.
亲爱的
What's this?
究竟啥玩意儿
We talked about this last week.
我们上周讨论过了不是吗
I said i'm building luke a tree house. You said "fine."
我说要给卢克建个小木屋 你说好吧
You know,sometimes I think you just tune me out.
有时候 我觉得你总是否定我要做的事
I never told her. She just would have said "No."
我从没跟她说过 因为肯定会被她一票否决
I don't remember agreeing to this, Phil.
菲尔 我不记得同意过这事儿
This is like the time you backed down the driveway
就像上次 你在车上装滑翔翼扮大雁
with a hang glider sticking out of the car.
倒出车道 都是先斩后奏
If you'd let me keep that,
如果当初你不阻止我
Those geese would have followed me to the wetlands.
那些鹅就会跟着我滑向湿地了
-You would have died. -A hero.
-你会死的 -死的光荣
So we spread out a nice blanket,
于是我们铺开毯子
opened up a bottle of vino,
打开一瓶红酒
and watched the sun set over the water.
然后欣赏日落海平线
It was majestic.
好壮丽哦
Majestic.
非常壮丽
Why? Why we never have the picnic?
为什么我们从来不去野餐
Who wants to sit on a blanket? There's no back support.
谁喜欢坐在毯子上啊 连个靠背都没有
It's majestic.
但好壮丽的
Last week, Shorty took me to see the cirque du soleil--
上周"小短"带我去看太阳竞技团演出
It's like a circus, but classy.
有点像马戏团表演 不过更高雅
So if you like elephants,
所以如果你喜欢大象的话
don't hold your breath.
赶紧去看吧
She's so cute.
我老婆可爱吧
Jay hates the crowds, the beach, the rainbows.
杰总是嫌人多 讨厌海滩 厌恶彩虹
Rainbows? It's just colors in the sky.
彩虹 不就是天上多点颜色嘛
Do we have to pull over every time and take a picture?
至于每次看到都停车拍照吗
Shame. There's an expression in Italian, Jay--
真可惜 意大利有句俗话说得好 杰
Dammi la tua mano e corriamo uniti per tutta la vita.
执子之手 与子偕老
"Give me your hand and we will run together our whole lives."
"手牵手 我们一起走 把你一生交给我"
Jay also hates running.
杰也不喜欢"走"
家 庭
摩 登
第三季 第七集
Here you go.
您点的东西
Oh, thank you.
谢谢
-And here you go. -Oh. What is this?
-这是您的 -噢 这是什么
You said to knock your socks off.
您说要让您"哇"地一声惊喜嘛
[本意为弄掉袜子 另意为意外惊喜]
Oh, well, look. It's already working!
快看 "袜"子已经不见了哦
Well, two more of those,
好吧 再来两杯
and you won't be wearing any underwear either.
估计你连内裤都没了哦
-Oh! Look... -Cam, down. Down.
-快看 我内裤也 -小卡 坐下坐下
-Maybe later. -Oh, okay, maybe... Maybe later.
-过后再给我看吧 -好吧 过后再说
Did you hear that? Waitress is flirting with me.
你听到吗 那服务员正在跟我调情呢
No, no. She's not flirting with you.
不 她没跟你调情
She's--she's trolling for tips, okay?
只不过是她要小费的伎俩而已
She totally knows you're gay.
她一眼就看出你是同性恋了
How would she know I'm gay?
少来了 怎么可能看出来
Uh, maybe it's the way you ordered a drink-a-doodle-doo.
或许是你点那杯酒的方式吧
Cam has this crazy theory that if he were straight...
小卡一直痴人说梦 说自己如果是直男
And Julia Roberts were single...
而朱莉亚·罗伯茨单身的话
-They'd be dating. -It's not crazy.
-他们早就搞到一起了 -才不是痴人说梦
I met her once at an A.I.D.S. Walk,
我在反歧视艾滋活动中见过她一次
and our chemistry was palpable.
当时我们火花四溅啊
No, you handed her a bottle of water.
不 你只不过给了她一瓶水
And her fingers lingered.
可她的手指在勾搭我
Because you wouldn't let go.
那是因为你死不放手
I could totally pick up any woman in here.
在场的所有妹子 爷我想钓谁都能上钩
If by that, you mean lift her off the ground,
如果你说的上钩 是指把她抱起离开地面
then yes, I'll give you that.
那我承认 你绝对够力气
I for sure could be a womanizer.
爷天生拥有"情场必杀技"
Or you could be someone
恐怕你是个变性人
who just stepped out of a machine called the womanizer.
刚刚从"女人变身机"里走出来的
Okay, you know what? That's it.
好吧 受够你们的讽刺了
Pick anyone in here.
随便挑个妞儿
If I can get their number, you do the laundry for a month.
如果我能拿到她的电话号码 你就洗一个月的衣服
If I fail, I'll do it.
如果失败了 爷来洗
Okay. I hate doing laundry. So, um...
好吧 洗衣服什么的最讨厌了 就...
No, um...
那个不行
Oh, okay. Right here.
好吧 就这个
Her.
Okay, great.
好 成交
Great. Just get rid of my flair...
很好 先去一下我的基味
Whoa. Where did Cam go?
哇 我们熟悉的小卡哪去了
I don't know. Where is he?
不知道啊 脱胎换骨了啊
Dinner was absolutely wonderful.
晚餐实在太丰盛了
Amazing.
太美妙了
Hey, you know what?
对了
Why don't you guys come salsa dancing with us tomorrow night?
明天一起去跳莎莎舞吧
Oh, yeah! That would be great!
对啊 一起跳很欢乐哦
It sounds like so much fun. I love salsa dancing.
听起来很诱人 我最爱莎莎了
Jay, let's go salsa dancing with them. Look.
杰 我们去跳吧 快看
Why not?
为什么不去
I just bought that pay-per-view fight.
我刚买了按次计费的拳击票
I tell you what-- we'll compromise.
那我们互相妥协一下吧
We'll watch the fight. We'll eat salsa.
我们去看拳赛 然后去吃"莎莎"
Who needs him? Come dancing with us.
别带他去了 咱仨去跳吧
Ay, no, I wouldn't want to--
算了 我不想当灯泡
No, no! You'd be doing me a favor.
没有啊 你来可是帮我大忙了
Shorty never wants to stop, and I could use a break.
"小短"一跳起来就停不下 让我偶尔歇歇也好
You hear that Jay? I never stop.
你听到了吗 杰 我一跳就停不下来哦
All I hear is she could use a break.
我只听到她说想喘口气
Hey! Oh, my god! How are you?
嗨 天哪 你好吗
Wow. Look at you. You look fantastic.
哇 你看起来美极了
Thank you. So do you.
谢谢 你也是
How long has it been?
我们多久没见了
-It feels like forever. -Yeah.
-宛如隔世啊 -是啊
Um, when is the last time we saw each other?
我们上次见面是什么时候来着
Oh, let's see. I think it was at Dave's thing.
我想想 好像还是在达夫办的什么活动上吧
You know what? I'm sorry.
好吧 我很抱歉
I don't know if you've heard.
不知道你听说没有
I was in a terrible car accident,
我遭遇了一次可怕的车祸
And ever since the coma,
自从那次昏迷以后
I have a really hard time placing names and faces.
我就记不得谁是谁了
So who are you again?
请问你是谁
Oh, my god. I am so sorry.
噢 天啊 我真抱歉
It was just a clever way to try to approach you.
我只是在跟你套近乎
We don't know each other.
我们压根儿不认识
I've never been in a coma.
其实根本就没昏迷这件事儿
But you so deserved that. That was the worst pick-up ever.
你自找的 你的搭讪太糟糕了
Oh, my god!
我的神呀
That was genius! And mean!
你个小滑头 真讨厌
Now I know why we're old fake friends.
现在我知道为什么我们是伪老友了
Oh. Can I buy you a drink?
不介意请你喝一杯吧
Yeah. I'm Katie.
行啊 我叫凯蒂
Cameron.
我叫卡梅隆
If she were a hot guy,
如果她是一个俊男
I would never have been that smooth.
我不可能那么顺利上手的
It's ironic.
真是讽刺
[其实他想说麦琪的礼物 来自欧亨利的小说]
Like the gift of the vagi.
就像《玛琪的礼物》
There you go.
好了
Thank you. Nice to meet you.
谢谢 很高兴认识你
- You, too. Bye! - Bye!
-我也是 拜拜 -拜
Wham, bam, thank you, Cam.
哦也 承让承让
Seriously? You got her number?
太假了 你搞到她电话了
Sure did. and all my shirts get ironed,
当然 记得把我的衬衫熨一下
And their seams should appear straight,
接缝要熨得笔直哦
Just like their owner.
要比直男主人还直哦
Should you be using screws instead of nails?
不该用钉子吧 该用螺丝不是吗
America was built with nails, son.
美国就是钉子建造起来的 孩子
So was that gazebo you built for our 4th of July party.
你国庆节派对上造的露台也是用的钉子
I'm telling you, you are gonna love this bad boy.
跟你说 你会喜欢上这个树屋的
You know what can't climb trees?
你知道什么东西爬不上来吗
Raccoons?
浣熊嘛
Worries.
是烦恼
Raccoons can and will get up here,
浣熊会爬树 也迟早会爬上来的
so don't leave any food,
所以不要在这里留吃的
or they'll get territorial and attack.
要不它们就会为保护地盘而攻击你
Are you sure this is a good idea?
你确定这是个好主意吗
Are you kidding me?
开玩笑
You're gonna have so much fun hanging out up here with your buddies.
将来你和你的小伙伴们会在这儿玩得很开心的
Trust me, when you get older, it all changes.
相信我 等你长大了 一切都会不同了
- Why? - Well, life gets in the way.
-为什么 -生活所迫
Did I just say "Wife gets in the way"?
我是不是说了"老婆所迫"
'cause sometimes I do that.
有时候我会说错
Nope, you're good.
没有 没说错
And you have lots of friends.
你还有很多朋友
Yeah, I have work friends,
是啊 我有工作上的朋友
And your mom and I have couples friends,
我和你妈还有夫妻档朋友
And there are my college friends,
还有我大学朋友
But they're scattered all over the country.
但是他们各奔前程了
It's not the same as just shouting out
不像以前对着
to your neighborhood buddies,
邻居朋友吼一声
"Hey, fellas! I'm up here in the tree house!" Uhh!
"伙计们 我在树屋上呢" 嗷
Fix that... board.
得修一修这个 地板
I can't do this.
做不来啊
Why are you so frustrated?
你火什么火
Because I've never had any obstacles to overcome.
因为从来就没有什么困难需要我克服
Oh, honey, that's not true.
亲爱的 可不是这样的
Really? Name one.
是吗 举个例
You're lactose-intolerant.
你有乳糖不耐受症
Oh, "Dear college, cheese makes me gassy.
哦 "亲爱的大学 奶酪让我屁多多
See you in September."
9月见"
Sweetie, you're not really starting your essays
亲爱的 你该不会把"亲爱的大学"作为
"Dear college," Are you?
你论文的开头吧
What difference does it make?
那又怎么了
I've lived a boring, sheltered, pathetic life.
我活在你们的庇护下 日子无聊而苦逼
I am sorry we have made things too easy and comfortable for you.
让你日子过得太滋润了 真是对不起啊
Oh, you should be! It is all your fault!
你应该道歉 都是你的错
You have shielded me
你老是护着我
from everything interesting and dangerous!
任何有趣和危险的事情都不让我去干
You are blaming me
你是在指责我
because I kept you from getting hurt?
保护你不受伤害吗
Gaby's mom's a hoarder.
加布的妈妈是收藏癖
That essay practically writes itself.
她写论文就毫无障碍
Maybe it is our fault.
可能是我们的错
But did you ever consider there's a reason?
但是你有没有想过原因
What are you talking about?
你在说什么
There's a reason why we were so easy on you.
我们对你那么娇惯 是有原因的
I don't understand.
我迷糊了
Oh, honey, you're old enough now.
亲爱的 你已经不小了
Old enough for what?
什么不小了
The truth.
该告诉你真相了
Okay, come on. Gotta show you somethin'.
跟我来 给你看样东西
We're gonna go for a ride.
我们要开车去
Mom, just tell me.
妈 跟我说就是了嘛
You are my mom, right?
你是我亲妈 对吧
I'm a bad man.
我是个坏人
Oh, no. What did you eat?
哦 不 你吃啥了
Mitchell, remember the girl I met last night?
米奇尔 记得昨天晚上那女孩吗
How can I forget her?
终身难忘啊
She's super famous for having the world's worst gay-dar.
她的"辨基能力"全世界倒数第一
How could I be so cavalier with her emotions?
我怎么能无视她的感情呢
You know, we had a real connection.
你知道我们心有灵犀
She gave me her number,
她把电话给了我
And right now she's probably sitting by the phone
现在她很可能坐在电话旁边
waiting for me to call.
等我的电话
I don't think you understand how charmed she was by me.
我觉得你不懂我让她多着迷
Oh, my god. Where did you get all this self-confidence?
老天 你这自信从哪里来的
I won cutest baby at the 1974 Jasper County Fair.
1974年的杰斯珀集市会上 我赢得了最可爱宝宝奖
[嘉小宝:著名婴儿用品嘉宝公司的卡通形象]
People at the time said I could go Gerber.
那时人们说我像嘉小宝
You know what? I'm calling her.
我决定了 我要打电话给她
What?
什么
No, I can't carry this around.
不行 我不能一直拖着
I have to come clean so she can move on with her life.
我得跟她说实话 让她放下我
This is crazy. She is not waiting--
这太疯狂了 人家才不会等
Hi. Katie. It's Cam.
嘿 凯蒂 我是小卡
First ring.
电话一响她就接了
I was hoping I would call, too.
我也很期待打电话给你
Oh, smooth.
真顺啊
So listen, I forgot to mention something last night,
昨晚 我有些事没有说
and I'm--I'm actually not really quite sure how to say this.
我不知道该如何说起
I'm a gay guy.
我是个同志
Um, it's actually somewhat delicate.
其实是个比较微妙的话题
[Delicate 一词多意 微妙 娇柔]
As am I, on account of the gay.
就像我一样娇柔 因为我是同志
No, no, I had a great time with you, too, Katie.
不 凯蒂 那天我也聊得很愉快
It's--well, it's just that--
只是 只是
- I don't dig the ladies. - No, no. And I want you to sit--
-我对妹子不敢兴趣 -不 你坐下来
I want you to have a seat on a chaise lounge.
你先在卧榻上坐稳了
Hey, you wanna go out and
想在比赛开始前
grab some dinner before the fight tonight?
出去吃个晚饭吗
No, thank you.
不用 多谢了
Wanna eat at home?
想在家里自己开伙吗
I'll grill some steaks, open a bottle of wine.
我来烤点牛排 开瓶小酒
Whatever you want, because I'm not going to be here.
随你便 我晚上要出去
She's going Salsa Dancing without me.
她要出去跳莎莎舞 居然不带我
Ay, Manny, I told you, it's a 21 and over club.
曼尼 我说了那俱乐部得年满21岁才能进
A forbidden dance floor. Only makes me want it more.
禁入的舞所 才散发致命的诱惑
Wait a second. You're going dancing with Shorty and Darlene?
等一下 你要同"小短"和达琳去跳舞吗
Yes, because even though he's old like you,
没错 虽然他和你年纪一样大
he still likes to have fun.
可他仍然喜欢出去找乐子
We like to have fun.
我们也喜欢找乐子啊
Last week I took you to dinner,
上周我还带你去吃晚饭了呢
went to the boat show,
还看了船展
got some sherbet?
还品尝了冰冻果子露
And we were home by 8:30 with no boat.
结果一艘船也没买 才8点半就回家了
What do you want from me? I don't like dancing.
你想要我怎么做 我不喜欢跳舞
- I don't like sherbet. - Yeah, right.
-我还不喜欢果子露呢 -是吗
How about coconut?
那椰子呢
Who doesn't like the coconut, hmm? Who?
谁不喜欢椰子啊 谁 谁啊
And anyways, I'm going dancing with or without you.
不管你去不去 反正我要去跳舞
Fine. I hope you have a good time with Shorty.
行 我祝你和"小短"玩得愉快
I don't need Shorty!
我才不要和"小短"跳
I won't have any problem finding a partner on my own!
我随便找个舞伴 简直手到擒来
Wow. Way to rub it in, mom.
妈 你又戳到我的痛处了
How'd it go, heartbreaker?
谈得如何啊 爱情杀手
That is one classy lady...
她真是个优雅的女士
- Which is why I couldn't tell her. - What?
-所以我对她开不了口 -啥
Well... I just couldn't do it on the phone.
我没法在电话上说这事
She seemed so excited to hear from me,
她接到我的电话时那么开心
and I'm very bad at disappointing people, Mitchell.
我又不擅长伤别人的心 米奇尔
Not all people.
我心已伤
Mama was right when she said
我妈说的对
my charm was like a wild stallion--
她说我的魅力好比脱缰的种马
If not properly bridled, it'll bust down a barn.
如果控制不当 定将毁家灭棚
Okay, you wanna get rid of your girlfriend?
你想甩掉你的女友吗
Tell her that story.
把你妈的话复述一遍就是了
Maybe I will when she comes over. She's coming over.
她过来时我会说的 她一会儿就到
Are you serious?
你没开玩笑吧
She said she was in the area running errands.
她说她正在附近办事
What was I supposed to say, "Don't come over"?
那我能说什么 别来我家
Well, I guess I could have said that,
也许我是该那么说
but it's too late now,
可为时已晚
Plus I wanna break it to her gently.
而且我想温柔地和她分手
So come on. Help me un-gay this place.
所以 快来帮我将此地"去基化"
You know what? I'll make it less gay by half.
我干脆走掉 就少了一半基味了
Oh, these flowers should go, too.
这些花也得藏起来
You mean the ones underneath
你是说那些放在
the portrait of you cuddling another man?
你和某男勾肩搭背的照片下的花吗
Oh, good catch.
说得对
Manny.
曼尼
What's up, big guy?
什么事 老爹
How hard is it to learn this salsa dancing stuff?
那个莎莎舞是不是很难学
Not hard at all.
一点都不难
It's about tapping into your emotion,
重点是在舞步中带入你的感情
your passion, and your inner fire.
你的激情 你心中暗藏的火焰
Crap!
狗屁
I stink at dancing.
我跳舞超烂
First dance at our wedding,
我们跳婚礼上的第一支舞时
Gloria was all graceful and gorgeous,
歌洛莉亚集优雅与华丽为一身
and I was all big and clunky.
我则是又笨又拙的大块头
Like that scene from "Beauty and the beast."
就像动画片《美女与野兽》里的那一幕
Actually, that was the song.
事实上 我们用的就是同名主题曲
Manny picked it.
是曼尼选的
He didn't like me back then.
当时他诚心让我出丑
Back straight. Okay.
背挺直 很好
Do as I do.
跟我一起做
Other leg.
另一只脚
Okay, stop marching.
别像行军一样
You're dancing, not invading Poland.
你是在跳舞 不是德军入侵波兰
Hello, hi!
爷俩好啊
I'm looking for Jay Pritchett.
我想找一下杰·普里契特
He's about 6'2", tough guy,
他身高188 硬汉一个
wrestles with homophobia...
努力克服着恐同症
The hell are you doing here?
你来这干嘛
Uh, I had to get out of the house.
我得离开家门
Cam needed a little alone time with his new girlfriend.
小卡和他的新女友要单独处处
- Don't ask. - Don't tell.
-别问 -别说
["别问 别说"是美军过去对待军队内同性恋者的政策]
What's going on here?
你们在干嘛
He's learning to dance, but he's just so tense.
他在学怎么跳舞 可他太僵硬
- It's not working out. - 'cause you're not letting go.
-完全不行 -因为你放不开自己
I'm trying. Don't you think I want to be all smooth
我尽力了 你以为我不想舞步翩翩
and make your mom happy out there?
博得你妈笑开颜吗
But I just can't do it, that's all.
可我就是不会跳舞 就这样
Jay, I'm not giving up on you.
杰 我不会放弃你的
Okay. Hey, Manny, would you give us a second?
好了 曼尼 能让我们单独聊聊吗
Thanks.
谢了
Dad, look, I-I know this is weird,
爸 我知道这样做有点怪
but you and I are a lot alike.
但我们爷俩其实很像
We're self-conscious, okay?
我们都太扭捏了
So, um, here. Just...
所以 这个
The hell is this?
这是啥玩意儿
It's just something that some people take at clubs
就是有些人会在夜店吃的那种东西
to, you know, loosen up.
用来放松自己
You take this?
你吃过这玩意儿?
A gay man who hates dancing
一个痛恨跳舞的基佬
Lives in a sad and lonely little world.
只能烂在自己的孤独小世界里
This just melts your inhibitions,
这玩意儿能让你不再拘谨
And--and you can dance all night,
让你激情欢跳一整晚
Plus it gives you a raging--
同时也能让你"性致"大发...
I don't wanna--
我不想听
I don't like this at all.
我不喜欢搞歪门邪道
Just hold on to it. Just in case.
你就拿着吧 以防万一
Come on. It's fine.
好啦 没事
Jay, I wanna show you something.
杰 我要给你看点东西
A farmer in new zealand taught a pig to dance.
一位新西兰的农民教会一头猪翩翩起舞
See how he keeps his snout up?
瞧人家猪兄那鼻子挺的
Yep. This is it.
对 就是这里
This is what?
来这儿干嘛
This.
这个
I-I can't do this. I can't get out of the car.
我 我做不到 我没办法下车
I'm sorry. I'm too embarrassed.
对不起 我太难为情了
Would you just tell me what's going on?
你能不能告诉我到底怎么回事
Okay. I-I want you to go read
好吧 我需要你读一下
what's carved in that tree.
刻在那棵树上的字
Mom, you're freaking me out.
妈 你有点吓着我了
Just do it. Do it, Haley.
照做就行了 去读吧 海莉
Have fun getting home!
回家路上玩的开心呦
There's your obstacle!
摆在你眼前的就是困难
What?! Are you kidding me?!
什么 你跟我开玩笑呢吧
Oh! Son of a...
妈的...
Brisket! Why does that keep happening?
擦啊 怎么老是这样
Maybe I need a nail gun.
或许我需要个射钉枪
Okay, that's it! I'm out!
得嘞 行了 我不玩了
What do you mean, you're out?
什么意思 你不玩了
Where are you going?
你去哪啊
Dad, no offense,
老爸 恕我冒犯
But I've seen you with a glue gun.
我见识过您拿喷胶枪搞出什么状况
I think a nail is gonna be harder to get out of my hair.
要是把钉子弄进我脑袋 可比胶水难伺候多了
No, don't go! I'm doing this for you!
别 别走啊 我建这个可是为了你啊
Are you, dad?
是吗 老爸
Are you?
是吗
The kid made me think with that one.
孩子的话令我深思
Who was I really doing this for?
我做这个到底是为了谁
Sometimes I just say,
有的时候我只要一说
"Are you, dad? Are you?"
"是吗 老爸 是吗"
Because he gets real quiet
老爸就会沉默不语
And doesn't notice when I walk away.
而且不会意识到我已经闪人了
It's weird,
好奇怪啊
because I feel so comfortable around you already.
只要在你身边 我就觉得很心安
You know, last night when I got home,
昨晚我回到家后
I just started thinking about
我就开始想那些
all of the fun things that we could do together, you know?
我们可以一起做的趣事 知道吗
Yeah.
是啊
I don't wanna scare you off,
我不想把你吓跑
But my sister's getting married in a couple of weeks,
但是我姐姐几周后就要结婚了
And I so don't wanna go to that thing alone.
我可不想一个人参加婚礼
Maybe you could be my date?
或许你可以做我的男伴
Katie, you're an amazing woman.
凯蒂 你是个很好的女人
You're smart, you're beautiful,
你聪明 又美丽
And how fun is that handbag?
而且手袋都那么好看
This is gonna come as a little bit of a shock.
我接下来要说的 你可能会有点震惊
I'm fairly gay.
我是个货真价实的基佬
I don't know why I said that.
我不知道我怎么冒出这么一句
I'm--I'm totally gay.
我 我是个彻头彻尾的基佬
Just gay.
基的无可救药
You're telling me you're gay?
你是在告诉我你是同性恋吗
Yeah.
是啊
Why?
为什么
I was born that way. I mean, you know, it's just--
我生来如此 我是说 你知道...
No, why are you telling me?
不是 你干嘛告诉我啊
I mean, I know you're gay.
我是说 我早知道你是同性恋啊
It's obvious.
很明显啊
Well, it's not that-- it's not that obvious.
也没...也不是那么明显吧
Well, yeah.
基爆了啊
The way you talk and walk and dress
你说话 走路 穿衣的方式
And your theatrical hand gestures--
还有你那很戏剧性的手势
I do not have theatrical hand gestures.
我没什么戏剧性的手势
Okay, maybe I am moderately...expressive.
好吧 我确实有点...基态外露
But why would you give me your number?
但你干嘛给我你的电话号码啊
Oh, because I want a gay friend--
因为我想有一个基佬闺蜜啊
Someone I can dish with,
一个能陪我闲聊八卦
Give me guy advice, and I can shop with--
给我男生的建议 也可以一起血拼
Those are totally offensive stereotypes.
那些绝对是世人对同志陈旧片面的认识
We could go see Julia Roberts movies together.
我们可以一起去看茱莉亚·罗伯茨的电影
I know her, and she's as nice as she seems on screen.
我知道她 而且她无论银幕内外都很美
- Shut up. Really? Is she? - She is, yeah.
-不是吧 真的吗 -当然是
Wait, what--so you were pretending to be straight,
等等 如此说来 你是想假装成直男
And hitting on me?
然后勾搭我
I was just a stupid bar bet.
只不过是个愚蠢的酒吧赌罢了
My boyfriend--oh, he's here...
我男友 他回来了
Bet me that I couldn't get a beautiful woman's number.
打赌说没有哪个美女会留电话号码给我
And as a proud gay man, I know it shouldn't matter,
身为一个自豪的同志 我知道女人都是浮云
But I-I just wish everyone could find me attractive.
但 我就是希望自己的魅力能通杀男女
Oh. But now he's gonna get to gloat,
但是 现在轮到他幸灾乐祸了
And I guess I deserve it.
不过这也是我活该
Oh my god!
我的天啊[唇语]
How's--how's it going?
谈得 谈得怎么样啊
Hello.
你好
This is Katie, and, uh, it turns out, well...
这位是凯蒂 结果发现 事实上 [很好]...
[Well此处是个语气词 本身也有好的意思才会引起下文的误会]
No, actually.
事实上 不好
It doesn't turn out well.
进行得相当不好
Because I thought I finally met a nice, funny guy,
因为我以为我终于找到一位又好又风趣的男人
Who is also hot!
而且还超级性感
And now he's telling me he's gay?!
但现在他告诉我说他是同性恋
He's, like, the least gay person i have ever met in my entire life!
他简直是 我这辈子碰见的最不像同性恋的人
And I thought he was the one!
而且我以为他就是我的真命天子呢
And I even told my mom about him!
而且我还告诉我妈呢
You better cherish him!
你最好给我好好珍惜他
Are you sure you're gay?
你确定你是同性恋吗
- No. - Cam.
-不确定 -小卡
Yes.
确定
Yes. Look...
确定 听着
You're gonna find somebody,
你会找到你的真命天子的
Because you're an amazing girl, Katie.
因为你是个出色的女人 凯蒂
You're the whole package.
你是个极品好女人
I just prefer somebody who has one.
但我喜欢的是有"鸡"的男人
Okay.
好吧
Oh... My... God!
我 的 天 哪
That was a lot of girl tongue!
爷我刚才啃的可是女人的香舌呢
I think I need a drink-a-doodle-doo.
看来我可得好好喝上一杯了
What was that?
你那算什么
Hello, Haley. How was your day?
你好啊 海莉 今天过得怎样
I have no money, no cell phone...
我身无分文 又没手机
You're welcome.
不用谢哦
What?!
你说什么
I listened to you.
我听取了你的意见
I stopped coddling you, and look--
我不再娇惯你了 你看看
You overcame an obstacle.
你成功克服了困难
Oh! Yeah! I did!
是哦 我做到了
I grew up normal despite my crazy mom!
家有疯母 我很庆幸自己是个正常孩子
Well, that sounds like the beginning of a great essay.
拿这句当你的论文开头挺不错的
"Dear college..."
亲爱的大学
Oh, honey, if you get stuck, let me know,
亲爱的 要是你又卡住了 告诉我
And I'll make you sleep out in the yard.
我会让你睡在院子里的
You're psychotic!
你是个神经病
Use spell check!
记得检查拼写哦
Don't just sit there! Get out here!
别干坐在那儿 快过来
I'm good, I'm good.
不用了 我很好
Okay!
好吧
Hola! You're looking so good!
你好啊 你看上去真漂亮
How long has it been?
我们多久没见了
We don't know each other. Go away.
别装作我们认识 滚开
Fair enough.
好吧
Hola!
你好啊
You're looking so good. How long has it been?
你看上去真漂亮 我们多久没见了
What was wrong with that guy?
那人怎么不好了
Yeah, I would have danced with him.
就是啊 我都想和他共舞呢
He's got nice shoulders.
他的肩膀超级正
Aw, you know, Salsa is so intimate and sensual
跳莎莎舞要与舞伴亲密接触 欲情荡漾
that it feels wrong to do it with somebody else that is not Jay.
和别的男人跳 感觉好罪恶
Aw. You know, Darlene feels the same way.
达琳也是这么觉得的
If I wasn't here, she's be holding up the wall.
要是我不在 她会去找道墙
Yeah. A wall of men.
是啊 男人墙
You know, I think I should go home to my loving husband
我觉得我该回家陪我那可爱的老公了
and pull him close and tell him that I danced with 20 men.
然后在他耳边说我和20个男人跳了舞
He's not home.
他不在家
He's in a dicey neighborhood
他此刻身在一个治安差劲的地方
worried about his car.
时刻担心他的车被盗
Jay!
What, are we gonna kiss or dance?
怎么 你是要亲亲还是要跳舞
Let's dance!
舞起来吧
I'm dead set against drugs.
我是坚决抵制嗑药的
"Just say no" And all that stuff.
面对禁药 必须坚决说不
But I thought,
可我觉得
Just this once for Gloria.
为了歌洛莉亚破一次例又何妨
And if I was gonna make a complete ass of myself,
要是我真嗑高了 出尽洋相
I didn't wanna remember it.
我可不要记起来
The big drug I gave him-- baby aspirin. Orange-flavored.
我给他的那粒药 其实是儿童阿司匹林 桔子口味
He could have chewed it.
他应该咀嚼的
Home come you never surprise me like that?
为什么你就从未给我这样的惊喜
I do surprise you.
我当然给过你惊喜
No, you don't. You never surprise me...
你才没有 你从来都没有
That's gonna be a hell of a tree house.
一定会是座很了不起的树屋的
Oh, thanks. I'm trying.
谢谢关心 我正努力呢
It's for my son, but he's kind of lost interest.
本来为我儿子造的 可貌似他失去兴趣了
It's kind of like my daughter with the dog.
和我女儿养狗一样
Which is why I'm the one out here doing this.
最后只能由我来拣狗屎了
Did you just move in?
你刚搬进来吗
Lived here eight years. You?
都住了8年了 你呢
12.
12年了
You know, me and my friends,
当年我和我的朋友
We, uh, we built a te house when I was a kid.
儿时造过一个树屋
We spent hours in that thing.
我们在那里面度过很多美好时光
Loved it.
但很享受
Me, too.
我也一样
You need any help?
需要帮忙吗
Yes, a lot.
当然
But I-I don't wanna bother you.
可我不想麻烦你
Only thing that bothers me
唯一让我不爽的
is that drunken amish roof you got up there.
是你那东倒西歪的屋顶
Do you even have a level?
你没有水平测量仪吗
I did, but I might have gotten frustrated
本来有的 可我感觉有点受挫
and thrown it into your yard.
一气之下扔到你院子里了
Let me find it. I'll be right over.
我找找看 马上就过来
Thanks.
多谢啊
I'm Phil, by the way.
顺便提下 我叫菲尔
I'm Andre. Nice to meet you, phil.
我叫安德瑞 很高兴认识你 菲尔
Nice to meet you, Andre.
很高兴认识你 安德瑞
So I guess I was wrong when I said once you get older,
看来我之前说一旦长大后
it's harder to make new friends.
很难再交到朋友是错的
Hey, honey! There's a dude in the tree that's cool!
快看 亲爱的 树上那人酷极了
Andre, it turns out, is an orthopedic surgeon,
安德瑞其实是一个整形医生
Handy with tools, and a great guy to hang out with.
任何工具都得心应手 同时也是个好玩伴
Plus he's a badass black man
而且 他是个犀利的黑鬼头
that gives me extra street cred.
让我在社区增加不少威望
That's his joke.
那个是他编的笑话
He's my brotha from a different motha.
他是我同父异母的兄弟
- What was that? - Different--
-你胡说什么 -异...
- That's not it. - What is it?
-不是那样的 -那是什么
It's "Brother from another mother."
应该是 亲如兄弟
Brotha from anotha motha--
亲如兄弟
Slow down. Slow it down.
慢慢来 慢慢来
Brotha from another motha.
亲如兄弟
Forget it. Don't-- just don't say it. Forget it.
算了 别说了 算了