摩登家庭 第八季 Modern Family Season 8 第1集: A Tale of Three Cities

上映日期: 2,016

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 克里斯·科赫

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 诺兰·古德 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 奥布里·


台词
Do we really have to leave?
我们真的得走吗
Yeah, can't we just stay a couple more days?
是啊 我们不能再多待几天吗
I know -- it's killing me.
我知道 我也很难受
Tomorrow's open-mic night at the Apollo.
明天是阿波罗剧院的开麦之夜
Look, we'll all come back. I love it here, too.
我们还会再回来 我也喜欢这里
Compared to New Yorkers, I'm laid-back.
跟纽约人相比 我很放松
Now, come on.
来抱抱
Get upstairs and pack, or else you might miss your flight.
快上楼收拾行李 不然你们可能赶不上飞机
After a great week in New York,
在纽约度过美好的一周后
I had to get to Raleigh for the Carolina Closet Caucus.
我得去罗利参加卡罗来纳州橱柜大会
Phil and I have always wanted
菲尔和我一直都想
to drive across the country together,
一起开车周游全国
so we thought we'd make a road trip of it.
所以我们想来个自驾游
b 316 121 316 121 316 121 b 316 121 320 121 323 121 b 323 121 323 123 323 123 b b 311 122 317 114 317 114 b 317 114 317 114 317 114 b b b 317 105 316 107 314 112 b 313 112
m 71 60 b 71 0 161 0 161 60 b 161 120 71 120 71 60
m 20 0 l 209 0 b b b 11 228 0 218 0 209 l 0 20 b 0 11 11 0 20 0
- Bye! Bye, guys! - Bye! Bye! Bye!
-再见 孩子们 -再见
原创翻译 双语字幕
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We'll miss you!
我们会想你们的
Okay, here's the deal -- We're staying another night.
就这样决定了 我们再住一晚
翻译: 冰蓝 亲爱的小饭 吃货丁小七
What?
什么
You heard mom and dad. They said no.
你听到爸妈说的话了 他们说不行
Well, we'll still get home before them. They'll never know.
我们还是会在他们之前到家 他们不会知道
翻译: ET外星人 洗七里 glida
Oh, come on. Andy and I just broke up.
拜托 安迪和我刚分手
I'm not ready to go back and face life.
我还没准备好回去面对生活
校对: 偷天换日赛太公 偷懒混日YY猫
Come on, how would we even pay for the hotel?
我们要怎么付房费啊
We can use Luke's carnival settlement money.
我们可以用卢克的园游会赔偿金
No way! I earned that.
不行 那是我赚的
时间轴: 三水 偷懒混日YY猫
I'm the one who fell off that ride.
摔下游乐设施的是我
We were the ones who really suffered.
受罪的其实是我们
We couldn't turn on lights or make loud noises
在你的头消肿之前 我们都不能开灯
后期: 瓜瓜 总监: 怀念浓子的瓜瓜
until your head got small again.
或者发出很大的声音
We can't use that money. It's for college.
我们不能用那笔钱 那是给我上大学用的
Okay, okay, let's spend it.
好啦 好啦 花了吧
Oh, look -- that sushi restaurant we never made it to.
瞧瞧 我们一直没去成的寿司餐厅
Oh, yeah. We tried.
是啊 我们努力过了
They just never had a table for five.
可是他们从没刚好有五人桌
We had a lot of fun, though, didn't we?
但这一趟我们玩得很开心 对吧
- Yes, we did. - Yeah.
-是啊 -是啊
Never got to get on
可惜的就是
one of those horse-drawn carriages through the park.
没有乘坐到中央公园游园马车
Alex's allergies.
艾丽克斯过敏
Didn't know you could be allergic to carriage leather.
都不知道原来有人能单对马车皮革过敏
Still, just so much good family time.
但这依然是一段很棒的家庭时光
Family time.
家庭时光
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
你的想法跟我一样吗
You could blow off the convention.
你可以不去开会
We could stay here for a romantic few days
我们可以待在这里 度过浪漫的几天
but never tell the kids because we just made them go home?
但别告诉孩子们 因为我们刚逼他们回家了
Yes!
没错
That is the first time you've ever answered that question right.
这是你第一次答对这个问题
Not today!
我不要今天死
R.I.P.
谨以此集,献给轴人浓子,感谢你的付出摩登这个大家庭,永远印着你的名字
家 庭
摩 登
第八季 第一集
Oh! Cam, it is so beautiful outside.
小卡 外面天气真好
You got to --
你得...
Ohhhh...right.
好吧
We decided to spend the summer in Missouri.
我们决定去密苏里州度过夏天
But we arrived to find Cam's grandma on her deathbed.
但我们过来后发现小卡的奶奶躺在临终床上
Right where we left her at Thanksgiving.
从感恩节到现在完全没变
Hey, um, I wish you'd be a little more mindful
我希望你能多体谅
of my family situation.
我的家庭情况
I'm sorry -- I didn't realize the vigil
抱歉 我没意识到祈祷
had drifted out to the common areas.
转移到了公用区域
Cam, come on.
小卡 拜托
She's 95 years old and plugged into a wall.
她都95岁了 靠设备维持生命
Maybe it's time to, you know...
也许是时候...
What? What are you saying, Mitchell?
什么 你什么意思 米奇尔
That we should pull the plug?
我们该停了设备吗
Lord o' mercy.
愿上帝怜悯你
Have you even taken your turn sitting with Gram?
你有轮班去陪过奶奶吗
No, she doesn't want me there. She hates me.
没有 她才不想要我陪 她恨我
This again.
又来了
Cam, she refers to me as "the sissy."
小卡 她称我为"那娘炮"
You heard that wrong.
你听错了
She's hard to understand because of the dentures she inherited.
因为她继承的假牙 我们很难听懂她的话
You know they were made from the keys of a child's piano.
你知道那假牙是儿童钢琴的琴键做的吧
What do you even say to someone in a coma?
而且对昏迷的人能说什么啊
Well, Mama's reading her poetry.
妈妈读着她的诗
Lily's reciting scripture.
莉莉朗诵《圣经》
Pam and I are gonna sing a song we wrote when we were younger,
小帕和我打算唱我们小时候改编的歌
"Sweet Home Ala-gramma."
《甜蜜之家阿拉奶奶》
原曲是知名歌曲《甜蜜家乡阿拉巴马》
Okay, yeah, t-teach me that.
好 教我唱吧
Oh, I'm sorry -- Is she your Ala-gramma?
抱歉 她是你的阿拉奶奶吗
Oh, fine. I'll think of something.
好吧 我再自己想出点什么
* Onward -- *
* 前进... *
Sorry.
抱歉
This collar itches.
这衣领好痒
Stop it. You all look so handsome.
别挠了 你们看起来都很帅
We look like The Three Amigos.
我们看起来像是三剑客
We were in Juarez
我们在华雷斯
for my sweet 19-year-old cousin Marisol's third wedding.
参加我19岁的可爱表妹玛丽索的第三次婚礼
It was so beautiful.
真是太美了
Thank God that they finished that tunnel in time
谢天谢地他们按时挖通了地道
for her father to make it.
她爸爸才能及时偷渡赶到
Ay, Jay, stop with the phone. You're missing everything.
杰 别玩手机了 你错过了一切
Hang on -- I'm trying to lock up some sausages
等等 我在为本周末的父亲节
for Father's Day this weekend.
订一些香肠
You wait till the last minute, you wind up eating
要是等到最后才订
chicken and apple, like some damn hippie.
就只能跟嬉皮士一样 吃鸡肉苹果味香肠了
Double click!
双击
La Diabla. Manny, come dance with me.
那妖妇 曼尼 跟我来跳舞
Son of a bitch, that's good!
我去 真他娘好吃
Hola, Jay.
你好 杰
Oh, hey...Sonia.
桑娅
I see Gloria's avoiding me.
我看见歌洛莉亚躲着我了
She's still mad because I forwarded her that mass e-mail.
她还在气我转发了那封群发邮件给她
Could be that, or it could be the last time you saw her,
也许吧 也可能是上次你们见面时
you tried to steal me and kill her.
你想抢走我 再杀了她
So, how is my sister?
我姐姐怎么样
Fantastic. Great.
很好啊 好极了
'Course, with Joe and also her hot-sauce business,
当然了 有了乔和她的辣酱生意
she got a lot on her plate.
她可有得忙了
Hey, have you tried one of these Mexican cookies?
你吃过这种墨西哥曲奇吗
They just call them cookies.
我们称呼它为曲奇而已
I'll speak with Gloria later.
我一会儿要跟歌洛莉亚谈谈
I have to drop this at the gift table.
我得先把这个放到礼物桌上
Great.
太好了
My seat is cold, and the flowers wilted.
我的座位发冷 花儿也都枯萎了
I see that my sister has been here.
看来我妹妹来过这里了
Will you get over that?
你能放下那仇了吗
She couldn't have been nicer. We talked about Joe.
她刚刚很友好 我们聊了聊乔
I told her how well your hot-sauce business was going.
我告诉她你的辣酱生意做得有多好
By the way, have you tried one of these cookies?
对了 你吃过这种曲奇了吗
Why did you tell her about the sauce?
你干嘛告诉她辣酱的事
Everybody, get your things.
各位 拿上你们的东西
We have to leave Juarez right now!
我们得马上离开华雷斯
What?! It took me 45 minutes to get into this outfit!
什么 我花了45分钟才穿上这身衣服
You know how crazy Sonia can be.
你知道桑娅会有多神经病
She's gonna be so jealous now that she knows
现在她一定嫉妒死了 因为得知
that I am a very successful businesswoman.
我是个非常成功的女商人
Aren't you 400 bucks in the hole on that thing?
那生意你不是还亏了400刀吗
You don't think this looks bad --
你不觉得这样不好吗
us walking out before dinner?
晚餐开始前就离开这里
Joe has a fever, and he -- he's sweating very much.
乔发烧了 他...他在大出汗呢
No, I'm not.
没有 我才没有
I'm gonna reverse what I said.
我要收回我说的话
Central Park dog rentals -- million-dollar idea.
中央公园租狗生意 是能大赚特赚的点子
Yeah, and maybe it's just the high of being on vacation,
对啊 而且可能度假让我嗨到糊涂了
but is there a bird more majestic than the American pigeon?
但是还有比美洲旅鸽[已灭绝]更高贵的鸟吗
Get dressed. We're going out for walk-around breakfast pizza.
穿衣服 我们出去吃早餐披萨
Oh! Shoot. Forgot my room key.
糟糕 忘拿钥匙了
Oh! I've got to get a picture of this paneling for my dad.
我得给我爸拍一张这种镶板的照片
Aromatic cedar flakeboard -- game a-changed.
芳香型雪松木刨花板 完全改变这个行业
I love my sexy little closet nerd.
我爱死我的性感小衣柜狂了
Oh, honey.
亲爱的
I'm gonna take a quick tub.
我去迅速泡个澡
We should check in with the kids from "the road."
我们得给孩子们打电话查查岗 假装"在路上"
Oh, right, right.
对对对
We should also maybe get some ice for drinks.
我们还得去给酒搞点冰块来
Let's wait for him in the lobby. I need coffee anyway.
我们去大堂等他吧 反正我得喝点咖啡
The people next door kept me up all night with their sex noises.
隔壁房间的人做爱声大得我一晚上没睡
I caught the end of that.
我听到了结尾部分
He sounded like a scared ghost.
那男的听着像个被吓到的鬼
Oh, my God. It's Mom.
天啊 是老妈
Uh, well, stay calm.
保持冷静
Uh, we're home, we flew in last night.
就说我们在家 我们昨晚飞回来的
Oh. Come on. She's gonna want to talk to Luke.
走吧 她肯定想跟卢克说话啊
Hi, Mom.
老妈
Hi, sweetie.
亲爱的
I'm coming to you from West Virginia.
从西弗吉尼亚给你打电话哦
What are you girls doing today?
你们俩今天要做什么呀
Oh, you know, me and Alex just out shopping.
我和艾丽克斯刚出来逛街
Who are you talking to?
你在跟谁打电话
Dad. Who are you talking to?
老爸 你在跟谁打电话
- Mom. - Mom.
-老妈 -老妈
- The girls. - Luke.
-俩闺女 -卢克
Hold on.
等下
I told them we were in West Virginia.
我告诉她们我们在西弗吉尼亚
- What did you say? - Kentucky.
-你说什么 -肯塔基
Mom thinks we're shopping.
老妈以为我们在逛街
I told Dad I was making us breakfast.
我跟老爸说我在给我们做早餐
When have you ever made us breakfast?!
你什么时候给我们做过早餐了
Okay, girls, um, I got to go.
好吧 姑娘们 我得走了
- Us too. Drive safely. - Bye.
-我们也是 开车注意安全哦 -拜
Hey, buddy, I should get going.
哥们 我得走了
There's a cop walking towards us.
有个警察过来了
I guess it looks weird with us parked right here
可能是因为我们停在州界线上怪怪的
on the state border with me up here in Kentucky
我前座在肯塔基境内
- and your mom in the back seat over in West Virginia. - Got it.
-你妈后座在西弗吉尼亚境内 -知道了
I should probably finish packing up the breakfast
我得把早餐打包好
I'm bringing to the girls at the shopping mall where they're shopping.
送到她们正在逛的商场去了
- Okay. See ya, pal. - See ya.
-好吧 再见 -再见
- That's how you do that. - Done.
-就是这么简单 -搞定
* Sweet home Ala-gramma *
* 甜蜜之家 阿拉奶奶 *
* Eyes and hair of gorgeous blue *
* 双眼与头发都是美丽的蓝 *
I'm gonna come back.
我一会儿再回来
No, no, no. I'm glad you're up here.
别别别 你来得正好
- We can finish later. - Yeah, yeah.
-我们一会儿再唱 -对对对
She likes it when you stroke her hair and rub her feet.
她喜欢你抚着她头发 揉她的脚
And, Mitchell, make sure her tongue stays moist.
米奇尔 你要确保她舌头是湿润的
How would I -- Ugh.
我要怎么...
Hey, Grams.
奶奶好
How's -- How's the coma?
昏...昏迷的感觉怎么样
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
我的天啊 天啊
A-Are you trying to say something?
你想说什么吗
Grams. Ow, that hurts. Let -- let go.
奶奶 很疼 撒...撒手
Grams, l-let go.
奶奶 快撒手
Let go, Grams. Let go, Grams!
撒手吧 奶奶 撒手吧 奶奶
What the hell are you telling her?
你在跟她说什么鬼话
What happened?!
怎么回事
I just walked in,
我刚刚进来
and Mitchell was telling her to let go, and she did!
米奇尔让她撒手 她就真的撒手人寰了
Oh, let go -- let go of my hair.
放手 我是说撒手别抓我头发
Somebody call the race track! Get the doctor!
打给马场的人 叫医生来
- Nice turnout. - Sure is.
-好多人来啊 -当然
Grams would hate all these people on her property.
太奶奶肯定不爽看到这么多人来她家
She sure would.
的确会
Hi.
你好
Oh, my God. I can feel your family staring daggers at me.
天啊 我觉得你的家人都在狠狠地瞪我
Can't believe they think I killed Grams.
真不敢相信他们觉得是我杀了奶奶
Like I'd really be telling her to let go of life.
好像我真的会叫她撒手人寰一样
Well, you can see how they'd wonder
他们怀疑你也正常
after you put your suitcase in her room.
谁让你把行李箱放进她房间 像要入住
It sounds like you're taking their side.
你这么说是站在他们那边吗
You can't blame them for questioning your story
你不能怪他们质疑你的故事
about a comatose arthritic woman pulling your hair.
声称一名昏迷中的关节炎患者揪你的头发
Not a story. A thing that happened.
这不是故事 这是真事
- Fine. - Fine.
-好吧 -好
And you didn't help your case
你把她爱看的电视剧
by accidentally erasing her "Matlocks".
意外洗掉了也更让人怀疑啊
Oh, my God! Just drop it!
天啊 能"放下"了吗
No, not -- not the... No. I -- I...
不 不 我不是...
Okay, so, when do you guys think you're gonna be back?
好吧 你们打算什么时候回来
Definitely by Father's Day.
绝对会在父亲节前
Oh, okay. Well, we miss you guys.
好吧 我们想你们
But at least it's still only three more days.
不过也还剩三天呢
Was it a little risky?
是不是有点太冒险
Not as long as the master did the talking.
只要出手的是专家就没问题
Aww. Love you both. Bye.
我爱你们 再见
We miss you guys.
我们想你们
Got to run outside and paint the mailbox.
我得出去漆邮箱了
All you had to do was say goodbye.
你只需要说句再见就好
Now we have to paint the mailbox when we get home.
这下我们回家的时候还得漆邮箱
Sorry.
抱歉
It just popped into my head
我也是因为看到
when I saw the Statue of Liberty holding that paintbrush.
自由女神像拿着油漆刷才脱口而出
You know, what she used to paint freedom in America.
就是她为美国刷出自由的工具[是火把]
Yeah.
好吧
The key to a good lie is keep it simple.
一个好谎的关键在于不节外生枝
Well, why don't I stop talking
我一直夸它也没意义
about how good it is here and just bring you some?
不如直接给你带点尝尝吧
Okay. Bye-bye.
好吧 再见
We need to pick up a wheel of Arizona spicy sheep cheese.
我们得去买一块亚利桑那辣味羊奶酪
Couldn't you just say goodbye?!
你就不能只说再见吗
Claire, the sign says "No loud noises."
克莱尔 那上面写着"不要大声喧哗"
You'll scare David Blaine.
你会吓到魔术师大卫·布莱恩
So, he just sits in jello for four days?
所以 他就在果冻里坐四天吗
I don't get how that's magic.
我没懂这算哪门子魔术
You wouldn't.
你不会懂的
I wish Dad was here.
我真希望爸爸也在这里
He'd love this.
他肯定会超爱这个
Well, he isn't, and neither are we.
他不在 我们也不在这里
Remember how Luke used to call it "jeh-woh"?
还记得卢克以前把它叫成"果弄"吗
I hate that I can't share this with him.
真讨厌我不能跟他分享这个
Magic isn't about secrets and tricking people.
魔术不是用来搞秘密与欺骗别人的
Phil! Get it together.
菲尔 别闹
Like your boyfriend, David Blaine,
跟你的男朋友大卫·布莱恩一样
we're taking how we did this to the grave.
我们得把这个秘密带进棺材里
I just feel bad that he's missing out.
我只是很遗憾他错过了这些
This is our thing.
这是我跟他的专属爱好
You will never tell him about this,
你永远不准告诉他这事
or we will finish what that unlicensed carnival started, okay?
否则无照经营园游会没摔死你 我们会弄死你
The morning we were set to fly back for Father's Day,
我们打算飞回去过父亲节的那天早上
a storm in the midwest canceled our flight.
因中西部地区的一场风暴导致航班取消
Let's just get to the airport, and we will find a flight.
我们先去机场吧 肯定有航班的
- Taxi! - Damn it! It's already taken!
-出租车 -该死 被人抢了
Okay, so I think I got us on a flight through Denver.
我好像买到了在丹佛转机的航班
Do you mind the middle seat?
你介意坐中间吗
If it'll help.
能不摔就行啊
This can't all be carnival-related.
不要什么事都扯上园游会的事好吗
Taxi!
出租车
Taxi!
出租车
Ay, Jay, I was going to cook the sausage.
杰 我本来打算来做香肠的
Hey, I don't mind.
我不介意
He's taking over because we screwed up
他决定接手应该是因为
the last few Father's Days.
我们搞砸了前几个父亲节
Don't be silly. I got this.
别说傻话 我来就行
When I think of the last few Father's Days,
我只要一想到前几个父亲节
I quake with rage.
就气得要爆炸
Hey, maybe put a little thought into it.
不介意的话可以多花点心思啊
Maybe we don't order the pizza.
比如不要叫披萨
And if we do,
真要叫的话
常用于配披萨的黄油蒜香芝士面包
maybe we get enough crazy bread for everybody.
也许应该点够疯狂面包
I'm sorry, but who made Father's Day
抱歉 到底是谁把父亲节变成
the dirty stepchild of holidays?!
节日界里的讨人厌拖油瓶啊
We don't even have a song.
父亲节连首歌都没有
- Daddy? - What?
-爸爸 -怎么了
Got you a present.
我给你准备了礼物
That's my boy!
不愧是我儿子
Let's see. What do we got in here?
让我们看看 里面是什么
Hey. An ice bucket.
一个冰桶
I saw Manny take shampoos from the hotel.
我看到曼尼拿走酒店的洗发水
So I took some things, too.
所以我也拿了些东西
Then some bigger things.
一些稍大件的东西
I like stealing.
我喜欢偷东西
It makes my heart go fast.
这会让我心跳加快
And what's in the ice bucket?
冰桶里有什么呢
A hair dryer. Thanks, buddy.
一个吹风筒 谢谢 亲爱的
Who's here so early?
谁这么早就来了
Sonia, what are you doing here?
桑娅 你来这里干嘛
You left Juarez so fast, I didn't get to say goodbye.
你离开华雷斯太快了 我都来不及说再见
We're sisters. We shouldn't fight.
我们是姐妹 我们不应该争吵
I miss you.
我想你
Okay, got it.
知道了
Gloria!
歌洛莉亚
Sonia. I'm sorry. Come in.
桑娅 抱歉 快进来
No, I couldn't.
不行 我不能进
No, you came from so far away.
能进 你千里迢迢来到这里
Come on in. Stay awhile.
快进来 坐一会儿
Thank you, Jay.
谢谢 杰
The Mexican cookies.
墨西哥曲奇
I never thought I'd see those again.
没想到能再看见它们
Let me help you with those.
让我来帮你吃掉吧
- Hey, Aunt Sonia. - Hola, Manny.
-桑娅阿姨 -你好 曼尼
I have some luggage in the car. Come help me.
我有一些行李在车上 来帮我吧
- Okay. - Help your aunt. Go ahead.
-好 -去帮你阿姨吧 去吧
Why did you let her in?
你为什么要让她进来
You have to talk to her.
你得跟她聊聊
I really think she's here to apologize.
我真的觉得她是来道歉的
You don't know her like I do.
你不像我那么了解她
Ohh! Wait! What are you doing?!
等一下 你这是干什么
Great, Jay. Now she kidnapped Manny.
好极了 杰 现在她绑架了曼尼
Why are you so calm?
你怎么那么冷静
Shouldn't we follow them or call the police?
我们不是应该跟着他们或叫警察吗
No, it's just a kidnapping. It's normal in my family.
不 不过是绑架而已 在我家这很正常
Ransom call.
绑架电话来了
Mom, I'm really scare--
妈妈 我真的很害怕
She wants my hot-sauce business in exchange for Manny.
她要我用辣酱生意来交换曼尼
Good! Then she owes us 400 bucks.
太好了 那她就欠我们400美金了
We get the kid back.
而且孩子还能回来了
No deal.
没门
I'll handle it.
我来解决
My sister, my problem.
我的妹妹 我的问题
My holiday!
还是我的节日呢
Oh! That's the kids pulling up right now.
孩子们刚停好车
- Just act normal. - I was born normal.
-表现正常一点 -我生来就很正常
Not really. They said I came out with bangs.
不对 他们说我出生时自带刘海
Hey. Now all we have to do is stick the landing.
现在我们只要口径一致就行了
Don't blow it by acting weird.
别行为怪异露出破绽
- Oh! I missed you! - Buddy!
-我很想你 -伙计
Oh, how was the drive?!
自驾游怎么样
Oh, it was great.
很不错
- Yeah. - Yeah?
-没错 -是吗
We would have been here a lot earlier,
我们本该很早就到的
but there was a ton of traffic on...
但是路上太堵了...
A-America.
美国路上
What do you say we go find Grandpa, huh?
我们去找外公怎么样
- Yes. - Here we go. Let's go.
-好呀 -去吧 一起去吧
So, uh, good week?
这周过得好吗
Same.
我也一样
- Oh, my God. They're talking. - Are they?
-天啊 他们在聊天 -是吗
All right, you chatterboxes.
好了 你们俩话唠
Let's get this party started, huh?
我们开始派对吧
Yeah, it's almost 4:00.
是啊 都快4点了
1:00.
1点
That was great.
做得真不错
- Really? - No.
-真的吗 -假的
But that's how you lie.
但你说谎就这样
Go splash some water on your face.
去洗把脸吧
Hey, guys.
大家好
Hi! How are you?
你怎么样
Hi. Where are Cam and Lily?
小卡和莉莉在哪里
Uh, they're still at the farm.
他们还在农场
I got banished.
我被驱逐出场了
Sounds like you're ramping up to a story,
你好像有很多话要说
but I got some stuff going on, so...
但我还有些事要处理 所以...
Okay. Good to be home.
好吧 回家"太好了"
Okay, so Cam's grandmother, the one who called me a sissy,
好吧 小卡的奶奶 那个叫我娘炮的人
she died.
她死了
And I -- I was alone with her when it happened,
而我恰好在她去世的那一刻跟她独处
and the family thinks that I nudged it along.
然后全家人都以为是我推波助澜的
- Cam's grandma died? - Oh, my God.
-小卡的奶奶死了 -我的天啊
You still do that thing where you smile
你还是这样 只要一说到死亡
whenever you talk about death.
你就会开始微笑
It's just a coping mechanism. It's gonna pass.
这只是一种应对机制 很快就会好
You've been doing it since I was 10 years old
从我十岁 我们在后院
and we buried my hamster in the backyard.
埋我的仓鼠时 你就这么笑了
His name was Whiskers.
他叫美髯公
Can you be a human being for one second?
你能当一秒钟人类吗
Okay?
能做到吗
So, Cam totally took his family's side
在他们全家都针对我的时候
when they all turned against me.
小卡完全站在他家人那一边
Well, that's just a reflex.
那不过是习惯使然
You always take your family's side.
你也总是站在你家人的这一边
Oh, come on. Where is that written?
得了吧 什么时候的事
Remember when you first brought Cam home
还记得你第一次带小卡回家
and I privately said to you,
然后我私下跟你说
"You might want to move on from this one,"
"你最好再考虑要不要换一个"
and Dad said, "I thought you liked men"?
然后爸说 "我还以为你喜欢纯爷们"呢
And then when Cam thought
然后当小卡以为
he was picking up on us not liking him,
他发现到我们不喜欢他时
you told Cam he was crazy.
你就跟小卡说他疯了
I guess I did do that, huh?
我好像真是这么做了
God, you and Dad are mean.
天啊 你和爸可真毒啊
Aww. Says the murderer.
你个杀人凶手还有脸说了
Gloria, we can't sit around doing nothing. Call Sonia.
歌洛莉亚 我们不能干坐在这 打给桑娅吧
Tell her to bring Manny and the cookies to a neutral place,
让她带着曼尼和曲奇到一个双方同意的地方
and we'll make the exchange.
然后我们来完成这笔交易
Why would I make an exchange? We have all the leverage.
为什么我要交易 我们拥有一切筹码
She has your son.
她手上有你儿子
What is she gonna do? Raise Manny?
她能怎么 抚养曼尼吗
Don't worry. He's going to be fine.
别担心 他会没事的
There's got to be a better way.
肯定还有更好的方法
My parents will be worried sick.
我父母一定会担心死的
Why does she want your sauce business, anyway?
话说回来 她为什么想抢你的辣酱生意
Well, maybe she has a reason to think
或许她有理由认为
that it should be partly hers.
这生意理应有她的一杯羹
My late aunt
我已故的阿姨
gave that hot-sauce recipe to both of us.
将那份辣酱秘方传给了我们姐妹二人
Not just Gloria.
而不是歌洛莉亚一个人
Sonia didn't care about the recipe.
当时桑娅根本不在意那份秘方
She was very lazy.
她以前可懒了
I said, "Maybe I'll go to America and sell the sauce.
我当时说 "也许我会去美国卖辣酱
Try to make something of myself."
试着闯出自己的一片天地"
So I gently talked her out of it.
所以我很婉转地劝她放弃
She told me my idea was stupid --
她说我的主意蠢爆了
just like all my ideas.
就像我所有的主意一样蠢
And then I changed my mind, and I did her dream.
然后我改变了主意 实现了她的梦想
What is she so mad about?
她有什么可生气的
I'm sorry to involve you in this feud.
我很抱歉把你牵扯进这场夙怨
It's okay.
没关系
I'm actually starting to see your side of this.
其实我开始明白你这边的辛酸了
Thank you.
谢谢你
As long as this isn't that thing
只要这不是那种
where the person gets kidnapped and then --
被绑架的人爱上绑匪的情况就好
Why am only now noticing how beautiful you are?
为何我到今时今日才注意到你是如此美丽
Ay, dios mio.
我的天
Surprise!
惊喜
Happy Father's Day!
父亲节快乐
Wait -- you guys flew in?
等等 你们特意飞回来的吗
Yeah, I just wanted us to all be together today.
是的 我希望咱们今天能一起过
In spite of your thoughtlessness and insensitivity.
尽管你做事不过脑又欠考虑
Okay, those mean the same thing, but okay.
那两个词是一个意思 不过随便吧
Look, I just want you to know
我只想让你知道
I understand why you took your family's side.
我明白你为什么选择站在你家人那边
And I am sorry I put you in that position.
还有我很抱歉让你处在两难的境地
Oh, I appreciate that, Mitchell.
谢谢你 米奇尔
I'm so sorry for your loss.
节哀顺变
Can I get our gifts out of the car?
我能把我们的礼物从车里拿出来吗
Grams left us all something in her will --
太奶奶在遗嘱里给我们都留了东西
even you.
连你都有
She left me something! Aww.
她居然给我留了一份
Even though you're stubborn and pigheaded.
尽管你又固执又顽固
Okay, again -- Oh...
你又用俩同义的... 算了
Manny's here.
曼尼回来了
I had to bring him back.
我不得不把他送回来
He was driving me crazy with his googly eyes.
我快被他那双大圆眼瞪疯了
My eyes are but lifeless orbs compared to --
与你的明眸相比 我的这不过是毫无生气的肉球
Yeah, go get me a beer.
行了 去给我拿瓶啤酒
How dare you take my son.
你胆敢抢走我儿子
How dare you take my business model.
你胆敢抢走我的商业模式
Guys, we have a party going on.
二位 家里还开着派对呢
Let's take it over here.
咱移驾到这边来吵
Now, Gloria, you have admitted yourself
歌洛莉亚 你自己也承认
that you have a history of stealing things from this one here.
你有专从这姑娘那偷东西的黑历史
Oh, here we go.
又来了
Sonia's perfect,
桑娅多完美
and Gloria can't do anything right!
而歌洛莉亚干啥啥不行
You sound just like my father!
你这话听起来像我父亲一样
Hold on.
等等
Are you saying that all this
你是说多年来这些争执
is about some weird competition over your father?
都只是要争父亲宠爱的诡异竞争吗
This is why you sabotage my whole life?
这就是你毁我一生的原因吗
Because Papa loved me more?
因为爸爸爱我多过你
Don't love that.
我可不爱当你们老爸
Oh, my God. I guess so.
我的天 好像是这样
I can't believe it.
真让我难以置信
You are jealous of me.
你也会嫉妒我
Just in that one area.
只在这方面而已
But I shouldn't treat you badly because Papa choose you.
但我不该因为爸爸专宠你就对你不好
It must have been hard for a little girl.
对一个小女孩来说肯定很难熬
When you lose a love like that at such a young age,
当你在如此年幼时失去那份宠爱
you spend the rest of your life trying to replace it.
你将用余生去寻找替代品
Okay.
别指我了
Listen, if you want the hot-sauce business,
如果你想要辣酱生意
take it -- it's yours.
尽管拿去 是你的了
No, no. Your jealousy is all I need.
不 有你的嫉妒我就心满意足了
I want to give you something that is very precious to me.
我想把一件对我很珍贵的东西送给你
Not Manny.
可别是曼尼
It's something that I should have given you a long time ago
那是一件我老早以前就该给你的东西
that is gonna keep you close to Papa forever.
能让你和爸爸的感情永远紧系在一起
Oh! Lily, we were gonna open Grams' gifts together!
莉莉 我们说好一起拆奶奶的礼物
I couldn't wait. Grams left you a watch.
我等不及了 太奶奶给你留了一块表
Oh! The note says,
信里说
"Your grandpa tore it right off of
"这是你爷爷从一个
a dead kraut's wrist."
死德国佬的手腕上拽下来的"
Oh, that's so sweet!
太感人了
And I got these.
我的礼物是这些
"Enjoy all my old lipstick,
"我所有旧唇膏你就好好用吧
you big sissy."
你个大娘炮"
Why did she call me a sissy?
她为什么要叫我娘炮
I -- She doesn't --
我 她不是那意思
Oh! We're opening Grams' gifts, huh?
我们这就拆奶奶的礼物了吗
- This must be yours. - Okay.
-这份肯定是给你的 -好
Let -- You know, we can do this later.
我们 我们也不是非现在拆不可
You opened yours.
你都把你的拆了
Okay.
好的
"When Cam first brought you here,
"当小卡初次带你回家来时
I thought I'd never get used to you.
我以为我永远都会看你不顺眼
I was raised to hate your kind.
我从小就被教育仇恨你这种人
But seeing how happy you make my grandson,
但当我见到你让我孙子那么开心
I... couldn't help but come to care for you."
我也忍不住开始在乎你"
Cam. I was wrong about her.
小卡 是我误会她了
Yes. You were.
是啊 是你误会了
Now, let's put this someplace safe.
我们把信拿去收好吧
No, no, wait. There's more. There's more.
别 等等 还有呢还有呢
"Who else but you
"除了你还有谁
should inherit my beloved Oriental fan?
更适合继承我挚爱的东方扇子
I hope it don't make you homesick."
我希望它不会让你太想家"
She said I was gonna get that fan.
她本来说要把扇子给我的
Well, you know, she did get very stupid near the end.
她临终前脑子非常不灵光了
Okay, well, gift time seems to be over.
好了 拆礼物时间到此为止
Okay, Cam. This is Lily's gift, isn't it?
小卡 这是给莉莉的礼物对吗
No.
不是
Oh! So you're the big sissy!
原来你才是那个大娘炮
Here.
给你
Her lipsticks!
她的口红
Oh. I suppose you're gonna read into this, too.
我猜你又要多想了吧
Wow, those sausages smell fantastic!
这些香肠闻起来好香
You all right, Dad?
你还好吗 老爸
Yeah, I guess I could say a few words.
还行 我不介意说我几句话
I appreciate you guys honoring me on this great holiday.
很感谢你们在这个伟大节日向我表示敬意
But I'm not the only dad here.
但我不是在座唯一的父亲
You three lucked out a little bit in that department, right?
你们三个生在那个家真是走运 对吗
We sure did.
确实是
Best job I ever had.
我此生最好的工作
Raising two dynamite ladies
养大两个非同凡响的女儿
and the...best buddy a guy could ever ask for.
还有夫复何求的最好的哥们
Oh, what is with this?
这是什么
- No crazy bread this year? - Yeah!
-今年没有疯狂面包吗 -对啊
We stayed in New York for five more days.
我们在纽约又待了五天
And I saw David Blaine in jello,
我看到大卫·布莱恩在果冻里
and I've been dying to tell you, but they wouldn't let me!
我一直超想告诉你 但她们不让
You're a disgrace.
你真是个废物
Oh, my God! Your mother and I --
天啊 你们妈妈和我
Are furious! Furious!
非常愤怒 愤怒
You were in New York this whole time,
你们一直待在纽约
and you didn't say anything --
却什么都没告诉...
Now, I don't know what can of worms this is,
听着 我不知道这一团糟是怎么回事
but I know this is my day,
但我知道这是我的节日
and I want you to calm down.
我要你们都冷静下来
Is that a phone in your pocket?
你口袋里有个手机吗
That's my phone.
这是我的手机
I've been looking for this since yesterday.
我从昨天就在找这个手机了
I steal now.
我会偷东西了
Phil, did you text me?
菲尔 你给我发短信了吗
Oh, yeah, um, claire asked me to send you a picture
是的 克莱尔让我给你发一张
of the closet in our New York hotel.
我们在纽约住的酒店里衣柜的照片
Oh, my God! Is this you naked?!
老天 这是你赤身裸体吗
What?
什么
Why?
为什么
Honey, will you send my dad a picture of that closet
亲爱的 你能给我爸发张衣柜的照片吗
before I forget?
免得我忘了
Oh! No.
天啊 不要
Hey. What's all the --
你们在吵什...
O...kay. No, thanks.
好吧 不要 谢谢
I already have confusing feelings for one relative.
我已经对一个亲戚产生不明情愫了
All...right. Can this just be done now?
好吧 这事就到此为止
How did you even --
你是怎么...
Wait a minute. It is raining in the background.
等等 照片背景在下雨
But it didn't rain while we were all there.
但我们一起在纽约时根本没下雨
It only rained in New York yesterday.
纽约只有昨天才下了场雨
Oh, my God! You stayed in New York without us!
天啊 你们留在纽约居然不带我们
We're liars!
我们说谎了
I'm so sorry.
对不起
No, it's my fault. I -- I kept the lie going.
不 是我的错 是我一直撒谎
Okay, are we really glossing over the fact
我们真的要忽略
that I figured something out?
我也能察觉出猫腻这事吗
I'll tell you what else we're glossing over --
我来告诉你们还忽略了什么
how bad you all are at Father's Day.
你们在父亲节表现多糟糕
I've got one son who's a kleptomaniac,
我一个儿子有偷盗癖
the other who's in love with his own aunt --
另一个喜欢上自己的亲姨
creepy even by your standards --
即使照你的标准也太恶心人
and a daughter who I was forced to see naked
还有一个女儿 让我被迫看了她
as the day she was born.
像刚出生时赤裸的样子
Come on, Cam. Kiss me like the sissy I am!
来吧 小卡 来亲我这个娘炮
- Right on cue. - Oh, God.
-来的真是时候 -天啊
Happy Father's Day to me.
祝我自己父亲节快乐
Icing on the cake -- I just found out
再来个锦上添花 我刚发现
my own wife has major daddy issues.
我的妻子有严重的恋父情结
Makes me wonder if that's the whole reason she's with me.
让我不禁想这才是她和我一起的真正原因
Dad, come on.
老爸 别乱说
We may have ruined your day, yes,
我们或许毁了你的节日 我承认
but now you're just spiraling.
但你现在只是在穿凿附会
I mean, every relationship has its issues,
每一段感情都有各自的问题
and Gloria adores you!
但歌洛莉亚超级喜欢你
Take the win.
享受这胜利吧
You think?
你们真这么想吗
Papa was so handsome.
爸爸真的好英俊
- Yes! - Yes. Yes. Yes!
-真的 -真的
All right!
好啦
You each have a sausage on your plate
你们每人盘子里都有一根香肠
I selected based on your individual personality and temperament.
我是根据你们每人的性格气质挑选的
Is this blood sausage? Because mine's pink.
这是血肠吗 为什么我的是粉色
Oh, my mine's pink, t--
我的也是粉红色...
Oh. Very funny, Dad.
很好笑 老爸
Now take a bite of bread,
咬一口面包
a sip of water to cleanse the palate.
抿一口水 净化一下味蕾
Mine smells spicy.
我的闻起来很辣
Show of hands. Who heard me say "Smell your sausage"?
来举个手 谁听到我说"闻闻香肠"了
The box said these pigs were massaged daily,
盒子上说这些猪每天被按摩
then killed from behind to
然后从背后被杀
keep the panic hormone from tainting the meat.
免得让恐慌荷尔蒙污染了肉质
They were murdered from behind?
它们从背后被杀
The three things I want you to pay attention to
我要你们注意三件事
are bouquet, texture, and finish.
香气 口感还有余味
You may begin.
你们可以开始了
Can I have some ketchup?
能给我来点番茄酱吗
We are done here.
派对结束