I come from a long line of handy men.
My dad used to fix everything --
lawnmowers, cars, our cat.
修剪草机 修车子 还阉[修]猫
So it made sense that I tackled the clothes dryer
after the repair guy tried to rip me off.
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I'm not paying $350
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最新连载海外影视剧下载请登陆 www.YYeTs.com仅供交流学习 禁止商用盈利
for a moisture sensor that costs $28.
I'll fix it myself.
It's a complicated job.
You know what I did back in Russia?
You were a doctor or a scientist.
I've been doing this a long time is my point.
Well, your Phil Dunphy is no push-over.
I'm afraid it's a hard nyet.
I guess these are clean enough.
I'll have this thing running in no time, honey.
I have an instructional video,
and I'm labeling each part as I take it out.
Tiny elbow-y thingy.
My right. Dryer left."
Can't you do this somewhere else?
Right, the dryer's the one that needs to get its own place.
Honey, you have to be up anyhow. We've got our cooking class.
宝贝 反正你也该起床了 我们要上烹饪课
I want to get there early and grab a stove up front.
Oh, my God, Mom. You and that chef.
天啊 妈妈 你跟那个厨师
Keep it in your apron.
Mom's obsessed with this TV chef Charles Dumont.
She watches his show every day.
Not sure she listens, though.
and your taste buds will surrender like the French.
I'm sorry, that joke was a little fromage-y.
- Did he say salt? - Sugar. Sugar. Sugar.
-他说盐吗 -是糖啦 糖
Mmm! I'd love to give him some sugar.
But I'm pretty sure he said salt here, baby.
- Take taste. - Oh, no. Aah!
That's got something in it.
Oh, almost out of cookin' juice.
All right, the next step is very important.
You sure you don't want to pause it?
We got to fix this.
We can't tell her how bad her food is,
because that would destroy her.
So when I found out Chef Dumont was coming to town,
I signed us up for his class so he could do it.
I know. Pretty intense, huh?
Now I just grab the sensor
Oh, a little linty.
I probably should have emptied...
Aah! Are the parts okay?
All right, Joe. Fire it in here, buddy.
好了 乔 把球投过来吧
Good! Now I don't have to tell another son
that some boys have different gifts.
Good job there, slugger.
What the hell's going on here, Gloria?
I feel like I died.
I'm watching my family as a ghost.
Don't be silly. If that happened,
I would have changed all this furniture.
I hired Coach Gary.
He's gonna teach Joe how to throw.
Joe is the worst on his team.
Your son's in good hands, Jay.
I led my team to the championship last year.
We weren't supposed to keep score,
but I did in my head.
Kid's supposed to learn the stuff from his dad,
baseball, how to drive a car,
how to fight a guy from Jersey.
If you think you took his knife...
He's got another one.
Joe learned to throw by copying Jay,
but Jay throws all crazy because of his bad shoulder.
Like this, buddy.
It's the same reason Joe whistles
"Sentimental Journey" when he pees.
You seem like a nice guy and all,
Hey, no sweat. Coach Gary gets it.
Hey, uh, don't forget your ball.
It's okay, Jay. Some boys have different gifts.
没关系 杰 有些男孩的天赋跟其他男孩不同
- Let me get the door. - Ok, thank you.
-我去开门 -好的 谢谢
Hi. Can I help you?
I always knew this day would come.
Probably not what she's here for.
How do you know our daughter?
I don't. She hired me for a cleaning job.
Wait, Lily, did you hire a cleaning lady?
等一下 莉莉 你请了清洁工吗
Yeah, with an app on your phone.
Daddy said my room was a pig sty.
Okay, we'll double back to that unnecessary
and inaccurate slam on pigs.
And I think daddy meant for you to clean your room.
We can't have you cleaning our daughter's room.
It just -- It sends the wrong message.
We get to review you guys, too, you know.
Go clean your room.
It's not fair. You guys use apps for everything.
Okay, there's Uber for when we eat out...
and Postmates when we eat at.
And TaskGrabBag for stuff around the house.
And Washio and ParkMe
and the one where the guy comes over
and builds a fire in your fireplace.
Oh, LogBuddy. I love LogBuddy.
We need to start leading by example.
From now on, we're all gonna be a little more self-reliant.
For starters, I'll build the fires.
But the LogBuddy guy comes dressed as a lumberjack.
I have a flannel shirt.
Where are all the extra pieces?
There aren't any. I used every last one.
Did you throw them away?
You can tell me. I won't be angry.
I fixed the dryer, Claire,
and you get to be here for the moment of truth.
I had no idea you were so good with your hands.
I pinched my thumb with a pair of pliers earlier.
Luke, daddy and I need to go upstairs
to discuss something in private.
Just go. You're ruining sex for me.
Oh, we just created some static in these sheets, huh?
- That felt amazing. - Yeah.
I got all up in that dryer and fixed the hell out of it.
I feel capable of anything.
I'm gonna build it.
- Dunphy Tower? - Dunphy Tower.
My first commercial real-estate development.
I've been dreaming of building it since I was a kid,
Now it's all happening.
Well, minus the trampoline park on the roof
and the tunnel to my best friend's house.
I am still holding out hope for a fireman's pole
that takes you to the parking garage.
Well, if you're sure you're finally ready.
I just fixed the dryer.
And it was the most satisfying thing I've ever done.
I'll just get dressed, I guesse.
Phil, I know where we are.
You know what this is,
but I'm about to tell you what this could be.
This is my least-favorite way of talking.
You are standing on the site of the future Dunphy Tower.
A quarter acre of mixed-use space
in a rapidly gentrifying neighborhood.
Commercial real estate, huh?
This is a departure for you.
I thought about it down to the last detail.
Imagine a happy worker
coming down from their transit-friendly office
for a fancy coffee beverage or yoga,
and what's that over there?
A doll's foot, I hope.
A farm-to-table dog bakery.
Ooh, Stella and I went to one of those in Solvang.
She got a quiche.
It looked so good, I almost split it with her.
I don't want you to feel pressured to invest,
but I want you to know this isn't a whim.
I've been thinking about this a lot.
What got you off the sidelines?
This is gonna sound silly,
but I fixed a dryer today.
I took it all apart and swapped out the sensor.
The guy wanted 350 bucks.
Ho come we haven't been talking about this the whole time?
Because I'm so excited about this project.
I-I really think this could be a good investment.
I don't want to hear any more.
You're the most cautious guy I know
when it comes to business.
If you think this is a slam dunk, I'm in.
'Cause I have an offer ready to go.
You say the word, I hit "Send."
Do it. I've been looking for investment opportunities.
If you're confident, I'm confident.
Because you know what I'll do to you
if you blow my money.
All right, you are about to get
an important lesson on self-reliance, young lady.
I know he's serious when he calls me "Young lady."
My dad did the same thing. Okay.
Okay, no more doing chores with our phones.
We're going to get our hands dirty.
And, Mitchell, you're gonna start right here and manscape this.
- Really? Okay. - And guess what you're gonna do?
-真的吗 好吧 -猜猜你的任务是什么
Can I be in charge of watering the cement like the gardener?
Nope. You're gonna get down on your hands and knees
You know what I had to do when I was your age?
I had to crawl through a cornfield and pick up rocks.
I couldn't even have breakfast until I picked 100.
I'd strap a flashlight to my head, and off I'd go.
One rock, two rocks,
It's called dramatic tension.
- It's called a beehive. Right-Right there. - What?!
-是叫蜂窝 就在那 -什么
- Oh, Oh, no. It's worse. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-不 何止是蜂窝 -没错
- Those are wasps. - Oh, I hate wasps!
No, not you, Mr. Fletcher. The...
不 我不是在骂你 佛莱彻先生
Phil got me to invest in a mini-mall,
so you might want to dial back
on the shoe purchases for a while.
One second. One second.
What did you say, baby?
- Drawer's fixed. - What the hell?!
Don't sneak up on people like that.
I'm liable to have knocked you out.
I was gonna fix that, anyway.
Ay. Like you were going to clean the gutter?
Coach Gary did it already.
It really wasn't a problem.
I'm not afraid of heights, and I've got big hands.
Those are fun details.
It's like the guy was trying to steal my life.
I wish he'd shown up when I was married to Dede.
I would have made him a key.
Let me show you out, although you sound like
you know the place pretty good already.
Hey, Jay, I've got a date Friday night.
Can I borrow your car?
Sure, you can borrow your mother's car.
Who's the lucky girl?
She and Manny work on the school paper together.
Extra, extra! She's a cutie.
Thanks for your help.
Hey, I just played the ukulele.
You sang the song.
You don't want to miss that bus.
Thanks again, Coach Gary.
He's not even your coach.
I need a scotch and a James Bond marathon.
You may be out of luck.
The TV wasn't working a minute ago.
Sounds like the satellite dish.
Big hands probably mess it up poking around my gutters.
- Let me check it out. - No, no, no.
That might be very dangerous.
Let me go grab Coach Gary, and he can help you.
I said I'd do it.
Yeah, but I'm sure Coach Gary
wouldn't mind sticking around.
I'm getting out and pressure myself!
Thank you all for coming.
Who here wants to go to Paris right now?
No. We're not getting on a plane.
We'll be transported by these humble ingredients.
So great. Listen to everything he says.
Look to your left. Look to your right.
Before this class is through,
all of you will know how to make earl roasted chicken
Ohh! I know this recipe.
I could make this chicken in my sleep.
How about we try it awake?
Let's start with the most important ingredient -- thyme.
That's right. It's time to chop thyme.
He's just like he is on TV.
Thyme and chicken play together very well,
unlike dogs and chickens.
Tragic story, my rescue and I
live next to an urban farm and...
Oh, my, do you mind if I use this as an example?
See how she's chopped it stems and all?
Sloppiness like this can ruin a dish.
Oh. I had no idea.
I suppose when it comes to herbs, though,
you owe something of a sage.
That's clever. Thank you.
You can't eat clever.
I'm a realtor, not a criminal.
Oh, well, then you're not doing it right.
If one of your clients is actually thinking
about buying this minefield,
that would be their second bad decision.
- First was hiring you. - Yeah, I got it.
You're not gonna push one of your clients
into this swamp, are you?
Maybe it just needs a developer
with a little vision.
Very little vision and no sense of smell.
This neighborhood makes El Segundo
seem like a Sephora.
It's in transition.
Yeah, it's turning into Fallujah.
I'm out of here before I get jacked.
- You're gonna be around for a while? - I might.
Maybe you can score me some methadone.
Good news, Phil. They accepted your offer.
好消息 菲尔 他们接受了你的报价
Without a counter? Maybe I came too high.
Whatever. They were really happy.
Hold on, Bob. It's my son.
等下 鲍勃 我儿子的电话
I think something is wrong with the dryer.
But I-I fixed it.
I'll be right there.
Hurry! I think it's leaving.
Now, this is fresh produce.
I can't even describe...
How exactly is this an improvement?
Jay picked that lamp.
By the way. Have you seen him?
I don't know how I got stuck.
I've been on roofs since I was 14 and discovered
it was the best way to see into Ethel Burkin's bedroom.
Older gal. 50s, I think.
Today you probably wouldn't give him a second look,
but this was before the Internet.
It was either that or a Sears catalog.
Can I take a picture of this?
Sometimes my friends don't believe my stories.
There's gonna be a better way of doing this.
On the contrary, Mitchell.
It's simplicity itself.
I dislodge the nest. It falls into the trash can.
Then we just have a barrel full of angry wasps.
They will be swiftly transported to a farm up state
where they'll be much happier.
Ooh, they'll see my friend's dog.
Yeah, just like that.
All right. First, we just have to dislodge the nest.
好啦 首先 我们打掉马蜂窝
There's one on my face. There's one --
Don't move. I've been compromised.
Ow! Ow! Oh! Ow! Ooh! Bad idea!
喔 喔 喔 真是个坏主意
Ow! I was gonna take you to a farm!
I may have to change the name of this side dish
to "Potatoes au great-in."
I'm not hearing a difference.
Oh, this is...unique.
Yes, thank you very much.
You know how on your show you were always taking chances
and trusting your instincts?
Well, that is what I did.
That's because I have good instincts.
What's something you do well?
Uh, mom, I think what he's trying to say
is that you should more closely follow his recipe.
You know, use the ingredients that he mentions.
- Right? - Not at all.
As I say in the foreword
of my third book, "Who Can't Cook?"
"Some people can't cook."
Gourmet cooking is tough,
though not as tough as your chicken.
I can't believe I'm hearing this.
It's times like this
I wish I had a refund policy.
this food for my family for months now.
I make a big meal every Sunday.
I'm a working mom.
It's my one chance a week to give my family something
and make up for the time I haven't spent with them.
Are you telling me I've been giving my family garbage?
have I been serving you garbage?
What do you think I said?
She is the best cook ever.
We love all of her meals.
- Am I singing? - So good.
Ay, Dios mio! Your time was too short!
我的天啊 天妒英才 英年早逝啊
So come down because the TV's working already.
You know, I'm kind of enjoying hanging out up here.
I-I'll be down in a little bit.
Hey, if Joe wants to work on his throwing arm,
maybe he can toss up, uh, an empty bottle.
Are you stuck up there?
I can come down whenever I want to.
I just have to... dangle my body out over the edge
and then reach blindly
for that top rung of the ladder you're not supposed to use.
But I'll be in in a little bit.
I got a few things I got to do.
Got to maintain the roof.
It's your house's hat.
I called the one person
I couldn't possibly be embarrassed in front of.
Don't answer! He can't know about this.
We have a verbal contract that's largely based
on my ability to fix dryers.
- What's that smell? - Failure.
Oh, Cam, that sting looks really bad.
We -- We should get you to a doctor.
A doctor for a wasps sting?
WASP: 原指殖民时代来自英国的新教上流社会移民这类白人常带有种族主义 排外主义 反同 文化种族优越感
Yes, let's put on our top hats
and eat crumpets while we're on our way.
Okay, I know you think you're making a point.
Back on the farm,
every time we would take down a wasp nest,
I would get stung.
Something you might have mentioned.
And never once did I need fancy medicine.
Just a little mud.
That's right, Lily.
Daddy's being self-reliant.
What do you think the chances are he means actuall mud?
Like my Aunt Dot said,
"Whether it's bee stings or back aches,
a little mud is good for what ails you."
I don't remember meeting an Aunt Dot.
I thought I'd make you a little bit --
Is it bad? It feels bad.
It looks a little like
you stared directly into the Lost Ark.
- I want to see. - You don't.
Do you think maybe me putting mud on it made it worse?
I don't know how putting dirt directly into a wound --
It -- It -- Where are you going?
To the doctor. I want to be pretty again.
Well, w-what about being self-reliant?
It's my face! Let's go!
Wasps! They're still out there!
I'm pulling out of the deal.
Why? What happened?
I'm not the man you thought
you had middle of the day sex with.
Honey, I heard about the dryer.
It's not just that.
I ran into Gil. He thinks it's a bad idea.
Your dad's money is on the line.
I've never done anything like this.
Who cares what Gil Thorpe thinks?
Nobody knows more about real estate than you do,
and you've been thinking about this project for a long time.
You should believe in yourself.
Remove the contingencies. Let's do this.
Thanks for letting me know.
Gil Thorpe made a backup offer.
He was just trying to scare me away.
Oh! I am so proud of you!
Wow. Looks like the both of us had
a little crisis of confidence today.
In my cooking classs...
- Yes? - Yes, well,
Chef Dumont had the audacity
to tell me that I can't cook.
Luckily, this one was there to straighten him out.
I'm gonna make you a celebratory dinner.
I think I've got most of the ingredients.
I can't wait! Mm-hmm.
You had one job.
Oh, crap. She called you.
Why? So you can show me up again?
What are you talking about?
You come in here with your young shoulders,
I'm not trying to show you up, Jay.
I'm trying to impress you.
Why the heck would you want to do that?
I guess you could say like you,
I'm stranded in my own way.
This is my least-favorite way of talking.
I got to tell you, Jay,
I'm over the whole sports thing.
But you just won the championship.
And there's no more Dragons to slay.
That's the team we beat last year --
the Baby Blue Dragons.
I'm not seeing how I figure into this.
I want to start my own business.
You've been so successful.
I was thinking maybe you could be my mentor.
What line of work?
Every backyard could be its own town square.
I knew you'd get it.
After all, what's a gazebo but...
- An outdoor closet! - an outdoor closet?
You're all right, Coach Gary.
Give me your hand. Help me down.
We'll get a few drinks, and we'll talk business.
Gary's Gazebos and Sheds.
You don't need me.
Is this you sitting alone in an empty yard
wishing you had....
If it is, then call Gary's Gazebos and Sheds.
Because here, we only do one thing --
and service gazebos and sheds.
And ask about our bird baths.
We own 10% of that, you know.
How much money did you put into the businesses?
Well, you can't take it with you.
But we'll all still be here!