摩登家庭 第八季 Modern Family Season 8 第13集: Do It Yourself

上映日期: 2,016

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 克里斯·科赫

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 诺兰·古德 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 奥布里·


台词
Okay.
好了
Screwdriver?
螺丝刀
Backup screwdriver.
备用螺丝刀
I come from a long line of handy men.
我家族是代代相传的能工巧匠
My dad used to fix everything --
以前我爸爸什么都自己修好
lawnmowers, cars, our cat.
修剪草机 修车子 还阉[修]猫
So it made sense that I tackled the clothes dryer
所以当维修工人试图坑我后
after the repair guy tried to rip me off.
我自然就决定自己修烘衣机
m 211 -8 b b b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
m 211 -8 b b b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
I'm not paying $350
我才不要花350刀
m 71 60 b 71 0 161 0 161 60 b 161 120 71 120 71 60
m 20 0 l 209 0 b b b 11 228 0 218 0 209 l 0 20 b 0 11 11 0 20 0
b
原创翻译 双语字幕
最新连载海外影视剧下载请登陆 www.YYeTs.com仅供交流学习 禁止商用盈利
for a moisture sensor that costs $28.
来修一个只值28刀的湿度传感器
I'll fix it myself.
我会自己修好它
翻译: Eunice 洗七里 zoeyyyyy
It's a complicated job.
维修工作很复杂的
You know what I did back in Russia?
你知道我以前在俄罗斯是干什么的吗
Yeah, yeah, I know.
我知道啊
You were a doctor or a scientist.
你是个医生 要不就科学家
翻译: 赛太公祝饺子生日快乐
I fixed dryers.
我是修烘衣机的
I've been doing this a long time is my point.
我意思是 我干这一行很久了
Well, your Phil Dunphy is no push-over.
本大爷可不是任人宰割的软柿子
校对: 终于是红V赛太公
I'm afraid it's a hard nyet.
恐怕要坚定地拒绝你了
时间轴: 三水
I guess these are clean enough.
其实这些衣服也够干净了
I'll have this thing running in no time, honey.
我很快就能把这机器修好 亲爱的
后期: 瓜瓜 总监: 怀念浓子的瓜瓜
I have an instructional video,
我有维修教学影片
and I'm labeling each part as I take it out.
而且我把拆下来的每个零件都做了标记
"Right-back corner.
"右后角
Tiny elbow-y thingy.
弯弯的小东西
My right. Dryer left."
我的右手边 即是烘衣机的左边"
Can't you do this somewhere else?
你们不能到别的地方修吗
Right, the dryer's the one that needs to get its own place.
是啊 烘衣机才是该自己搬出去住的那个人
Honey, you have to be up anyhow. We've got our cooking class.
宝贝 反正你也该起床了 我们要上烹饪课
I want to get there early and grab a stove up front.
我想早点到 抢占前排的炉子
Oh, my God, Mom. You and that chef.
天啊 妈妈 你跟那个厨师
Keep it in your apron.
你能不能轻点骚
Mom's obsessed with this TV chef Charles Dumont.
妈妈很迷恋电视上那个大厨查尔斯·杜蒙特
She watches his show every day.
她每天都收看他的节目
Not sure she listens, though.
不过她好像也没有专心听
A pinch of sugar,
加少许糖
and your taste buds will surrender like the French.
你的味蕾就会像法国人一样弃械投降
I'm sorry, that joke was a little fromage-y.
抱歉 这个哏有点太干...奶酪了
- Did he say salt? - Sugar. Sugar. Sugar.
-他说盐吗 -是糖啦 糖
Mmm! I'd love to give him some sugar.
我还真想让他尝尝我有多甜呢
But I'm pretty sure he said salt here, baby.
但我很肯定他刚刚说的是盐 宝贝
- Take taste. - Oh, no. Aah!
-试试味道 -不要
- Yeah. - Yeah?
-嗯 -好吃吗
That's got something in it.
确实别有"风味"
Oh, almost out of cookin' juice.
烹饪搭配的酒快喝完了
All right, the next step is very important.
好了 下一步非常重要
You sure you don't want to pause it?
你真的不用暂停吗
Oh, no, I'm good.
不用
We got to fix this.
不能再这样下去了
We can't tell her how bad her food is,
我们不能告诉她 她做的菜有多难吃
because that would destroy her.
因为那会让她伤心欲绝
So when I found out Chef Dumont was coming to town,
所以当我得知杜蒙特大厨要来城里
I signed us up for his class so he could do it.
我就给我俩报名上课 让他来当坏人
I know. Pretty intense, huh?
场面挺激烈的是吧
Now I just grab the sensor
现在我就把传感器
and put it --
放到...
Oh, a little linty.
里面棉絮挺多啊
I probably should have emptied...
早知道应该先清空...
Aah! Are the parts okay?
零件都没事吧
Yeah, they're fine.
没事
Oh, thank God.
谢天谢地
I don't know --
我不知道...
家 庭
摩 登
第八季 第十三集
All right, Joe. Fire it in here, buddy.
好了 乔 把球投过来吧
Ooh! Yes!
好棒
Good! Now I don't have to tell another son
太好了 我不用跟这个儿子也说
that some boys have different gifts.
有些男孩的天赋跟其他男孩不同
Good job there, slugger.
干得好 小强棒
What the hell's going on here, Gloria?
这是怎么回事 歌洛莉亚
I feel like I died.
我觉得自己好像已经死了
I'm watching my family as a ghost.
我是以游魂视角在看我再婚的家人
Don't be silly. If that happened,
别傻了 如果你真死了
I would have changed all this furniture.
我早就已经把这些家具全换掉了
I hired Coach Gary.
我请了盖里教练
He's gonna teach Joe how to throw.
他会教乔怎么投球
Joe is the worst on his team.
乔是他们队里最弱的一个
I hear you!
我听见了哦
Your son's in good hands, Jay.
你儿子交给我保准没问题 杰
I led my team to the championship last year.
去年我带领队伍拿下了冠军
We weren't supposed to keep score,
本来幼儿组不该计分的
but I did in my head.
但我在脑子里偷记下来了
This is crazy.
这太离谱了
Kid's supposed to learn the stuff from his dad,
这种事情孩子应该跟自己爸爸学
baseball, how to drive a car,
例如打棒球 开车
how to fight a guy from Jersey.
还有怎么跟新泽西州人打架
If you think you took his knife...
当你觉得你已经拿走了他的刀...
He's got another one.
他身上还有一把
Joe learned to throw by copying Jay,
乔的投球方式都是跟杰学的
but Jay throws all crazy because of his bad shoulder.
可是杰投得乱七八糟 因为他肩膀不好
Like this, buddy.
像这样投 孩子
Son of a...!
我勒个...
Son of a...!
我勒个...
It's the same reason Joe whistles
乔在撒尿时会吹
1944年发行的歌曲
"Sentimental Journey" when he pees.
《感伤之旅》也是这个原因
You seem like a nice guy and all,
你看起来人挺好的
but I got this.
但我来教他就行了
Hey, no sweat. Coach Gary gets it.
没问题 盖瑞教练懂的
Hey, uh, don't forget your ball.
别忘了带走你的球
It's okay, Jay. Some boys have different gifts.
没关系 杰 有些男孩的天赋跟其他男孩不同
- Let me get the door. - Ok, thank you.
-我去开门 -好的 谢谢
Hi. Can I help you?
你好 有什么事吗
I'm here for Lily.
我来找莉莉
I always knew this day would come.
我知道这一天迟早会来
Probably not what she's here for.
她应该不是来认亲的
How do you know our daughter?
你怎么会认识我们女儿
I don't. She hired me for a cleaning job.
不认识 她雇我来打扫卫生
Oh. What?
什么
Wow. Right on time.
真准时啊
Wait, Lily, did you hire a cleaning lady?
等一下 莉莉 你请了清洁工吗
Yeah, with an app on your phone.
是啊 用你手机上的应用请的
Daddy said my room was a pig sty.
爸爸说我的房间乱得跟猪窝一样
Okay, we'll double back to that unnecessary
我们回头再讨论你对猪的这个
and inaccurate slam on pigs.
没有必要且有违事实的辱骂
And I think daddy meant for you to clean your room.
而且我想小爸的意思是叫你自己打扫房间
We can't have you cleaning our daughter's room.
我们不能让你帮她打扫房间
It just -- It sends the wrong message.
这样会传递错误的信息
We get to review you guys, too, you know.
我们也可以给你们差评的 知道吗
Go clean your room.
你去打扫房间
It's not fair. You guys use apps for everything.
这不公平 你们什么都用手机应用解决
No, we don't.
我们才没有
Well...
这个嘛...
Okay, there's Uber for when we eat out...
好吧 我们出去吃饭时会用"优步"叫车
and Postmates when we eat at.
在家吃饭会用"美团"叫外卖
And TaskGrabBag for stuff around the house.
各种家务就交给"寻人理事"找帮手
And Washio and ParkMe
"洗衣到府" "车位地图"
and the one where the guy comes over
还有那个请专人来
and builds a fire in your fireplace.
帮家里壁炉生火的应用
Oh, LogBuddy. I love LogBuddy.
"专人取火"啊 我喜欢那个
We need to start leading by example.
我们必须以身作则
From now on, we're all gonna be a little more self-reliant.
从现在开始 我们都要更自力更生
For starters, I'll build the fires.
首先 我自己来生火
But the LogBuddy guy comes dressed as a lumberjack.
可是"专人取火"那个人会打扮成猛男伐木工
I have a flannel shirt.
我也有猛男法兰绒衬衫啊
Where are all the extra pieces?
那些多出来的零件到哪里去了
There aren't any. I used every last one.
没有多余的 我全装上了
Did you throw them away?
你是不是丢掉了
You can tell me. I won't be angry.
你可以直说 我不会生气的
I fixed the dryer, Claire,
我把烘衣机修好了 克莱尔
and you get to be here for the moment of truth.
你有幸见证这奇迹般的时刻
Pull the pin.
拔掉保险销
It works.
真的修好了
I had no idea you were so good with your hands.
我以前都不知道你是如此巧手
Very manly.
很有男子气概
I pinched my thumb with a pair of pliers earlier.
前面我的拇指还被老虎钳夹到了
Not a peep.
我都没喊疼
Luke, daddy and I need to go upstairs
卢克 你爸和我要上楼去
to discuss something in private.
私下谈些事情
Just go. You're ruining sex for me.
去就别废话 快被你们恶心得一生不举了
Oh, we just created some static in these sheets, huh?
床单都因为摩擦太激烈起静电了
- That felt amazing. - Yeah.
-那感觉真是太棒了 -是啊
I got all up in that dryer and fixed the hell out of it.
我深入那台烘衣机把它修了个落花流水
I feel capable of anything.
我觉得我无所不能
You know what?
你猜怎么着
I'm gonna build it.
我要展开那项工程了
- Dunphy Tower? - Dunphy Tower.
-邓菲塔吗 -邓菲塔
Dunphy Tower --
邓菲塔
My first commercial real-estate development.
我的首次商业房地产开发
I've been dreaming of building it since I was a kid,
我从小就梦想能建这样一栋楼
Now it's all happening.
现在终于要成真了
Well, minus the trampoline park on the roof
好吧 虽然没了楼顶的蹦床公园
and the tunnel to my best friend's house.
和通向我死党家的地道
I am still holding out hope for a fireman's pole
我仍抱着希望能有一根消防队那种钢管
that takes you to the parking garage.
可以直接滑到地下停车场
Well, if you're sure you're finally ready.
如果你觉得自己终于准备好了就做
Of course I am.
我当然准备好了
I just fixed the dryer.
我可是刚刚修好了烘衣机的男人
And it was the most satisfying thing I've ever done.
那是我这辈子干过的最满足最爽的事了
I'll just get dressed, I guesse.
我起身穿衣服吧
Phil, I know where we are.
菲尔 我又不是不知道我们在哪
I drove.
刚才是我开的车
You know what this is,
你知道这是什么地方
but I'm about to tell you what this could be.
但我要告诉你这里将会变成什么地方
This is my least-favorite way of talking.
我最不喜欢这种说话方式
You are standing on the site of the future Dunphy Tower.
你所站之处将成为未来的邓菲塔
A quarter acre of mixed-use space
1011平方米的混合应用土地
in a rapidly gentrifying neighborhood.
在这片住户高速士绅化的区域
Commercial real estate, huh?
商业房地产开发啊
This is a departure for you.
不像你的作风啊
I thought about it down to the last detail.
我每一个细节都考虑过了
Imagine a happy worker
想象一位开心的工人
coming down from their transit-friendly office
从上班坐车方便的办公室下楼来这
for a fancy coffee beverage or yoga,
喝杯高级咖啡或者做做瑜伽
and what's that over there?
你猜那边还有什么好东西
A doll's foot, I hope.
我希望那只是洋娃娃的断腿
A farm-to-table dog bakery.
农场直供的狗狗面包店
Ooh, Stella and I went to one of those in Solvang.
我带斯黛拉去过丹麦村的一家
She got a quiche.
我给她买了个法式乳蛋狗饼
It looked so good, I almost split it with her.
看起来特好吃 我差点没忍住和她分着吃
I don't want you to feel pressured to invest,
我不想逼你投资
but I want you to know this isn't a whim.
但我想让你知道这不是一时兴起
I've been thinking about this a lot.
这件事我已经构想了很久了
What got you off the sidelines?
是什么让你决定出手的
This is gonna sound silly,
这可能听起来有点蠢
but I fixed a dryer today.
但我今天修好了一台烘衣机
I took it all apart and swapped out the sensor.
我把它彻底拆开还换了传感器
Get out of here.
你少来了
The guy wanted 350 bucks.
修理工跟我要价350块
I paid $28.
我自己只花了28
Holy cow!
真厉害
Ho come we haven't been talking about this the whole time?
你为什么等到现在才告诉我这件事
Because I'm so excited about this project.
因为这个项目让我太兴奋了
I-I really think this could be a good investment.
我真的认为这会是一项好投资
I don't want to hear any more.
你不必多说了
You're the most cautious guy I know
涉及到生意的时候
when it comes to business.
你是我认识的人中最谨慎的
If you think this is a slam dunk, I'm in.
如果你认为这是个金矿 我入伙
Really?
真的吗
'Cause I have an offer ready to go.
因为我已经准备好出价了
You say the word, I hit "Send."
你一发话我就发出去
Do it. I've been looking for investment opportunities.
发吧 我一直在找投资商机
If you're confident, I'm confident.
如果你有信心 那我也有信心
Because you know what I'll do to you
因为你很清楚害我血本无归
if you blow my money.
你会有什么下场
All right, you are about to get
好了 你将学到
an important lesson on self-reliance, young lady.
关于自力更生的宝贵一课 小姑娘
I know he's serious when he calls me "Young lady."
每当他叫我"小姑娘"就知道是来真的
My dad did the same thing. Okay.
我爸也一样 好啦
Okay, no more doing chores with our phones.
不再靠我们的手机来摆脱家务了
We're going to get our hands dirty.
我们要亲力亲为
And, Mitchell, you're gonna start right here and manscape this.
米奇尔 快来像修体毛一样修整这丛植物
- Really? Okay. - And guess what you're gonna do?
-真的吗 好吧 -猜猜你的任务是什么
Can I be in charge of watering the cement like the gardener?
我能像咱家园丁那样负责往水泥上浇水吗
新铺的水泥地也像草皮一样需要浇水养护
Nope. You're gonna get down on your hands and knees
不行 你得趴到草地上去
and pick weeds.
拔杂草
You know what I had to do when I was your age?
你知道我在你这个年纪都要做些什么吗
I had to crawl through a cornfield and pick up rocks.
我得爬遍整块玉米田捡石头
I couldn't even have breakfast until I picked 100.
捡不到一百块石头都不让我吃早饭
I'd strap a flashlight to my head, and off I'd go.
我会在头上绑一个手电筒 深入田间
One rock, two rocks,
一块石头 两块石头
Oh, my God!
我的天哪
It's called dramatic tension.
这叫戏剧张力好吗
- It's called a beehive. Right-Right there. - What?!
-是叫蜂窝 就在那 -什么
Yep. Mm-hmm.
没错
- Oh, Oh, no. It's worse. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-不 何止是蜂窝 -没错
- Those are wasps. - Oh, I hate wasps!
-还是马蜂窝呢 -我讨厌马蜂
No, not you, Mr. Fletcher. The...
不 我不是在骂你 佛莱彻先生
Come on.
拜托
Gloria?
歌洛莉亚
Phil got me to invest in a mini-mall,
菲尔说服我投资了一家小型商场
so you might want to dial back
所以你这阵子最好克制点
on the shoe purchases for a while.
少买几双鞋
One second. One second.
等一下等一下
"Place order."
"确认订单"
What did you say, baby?
你刚才说啥 亲爱的
- Drawer's fixed. - What the hell?!
-抽屉修好了 -搞毛啊
Don't sneak up on people like that.
别这样一声不响突然吓人
I'm liable to have knocked you out.
我很可能一拳揍昏你
I doubt it.
我表示怀疑
I was gonna fix that, anyway.
再说我本来正准备修的
Ay. Like you were going to clean the gutter?
你还说要清理屋檐排水沟呢
Coach Gary did it already.
盖里教练已经清完了
It really wasn't a problem.
一点都不麻烦
I'm not afraid of heights, and I've got big hands.
我不怕高 还有一双大手
Those are fun details.
真是有趣的个人情报
It's like the guy was trying to steal my life.
这家伙就像想抢走我的生活似的
I wish he'd shown up when I was married to Dede.
我还和迪迪在一起的时候有他在就好了
I would have made him a key.
我会直接给他配把钥匙
Let me show you out, although you sound like
让我送你到门口 尽管貌似
you know the place pretty good already.
你已经对我家很熟悉了
Hey, Jay, I've got a date Friday night.
杰 我周五晚上有个约会
Can I borrow your car?
能把你的车借我吗
Sure, you can borrow your mother's car.
没问题 你可以借你妈的车
Who's the lucky girl?
是哪个姑娘这么幸运
Rachel Caputo.
瑞秋·卡普托
She and Manny work on the school paper together.
她和曼尼一起做校报
Extra, extra! She's a cutie.
号外号外 那姑娘特可爱
Thanks for your help.
多谢你帮忙
Hey, I just played the ukulele.
我不过弹了一段尤克里里
You sang the song.
歌是你自己唱的
Yeah. Coach Cupid!
丘比特教练
All right, gear.
好了 快走吧
You don't want to miss that bus.
错过公交车就麻烦了
Thanks again, Coach Gary.
再次感谢 盖里教练
He's not even your coach.
他都不是你的教练
I need a scotch and a James Bond marathon.
我得喝杯威士忌连看几部007
You may be out of luck.
那你可能要失望了
The TV wasn't working a minute ago.
刚才电视突然坏了
Sounds like the satellite dish.
听起来像是卫星天线的问题
Big hands probably mess it up poking around my gutters.
可能是大手男乱搞我排水沟时撞歪了
- Let me check it out. - No, no, no.
-让我上去看看 -别别别
That might be very dangerous.
可能会很危险的
Let me go grab Coach Gary, and he can help you.
让我去把盖里教练叫回来 让他帮你
I said I'd do it.
我说了我自己去
Yeah, but I'm sure Coach Gary
但我很肯定盖里教练
wouldn't mind sticking around.
不介意多留一会的
I'm getting out and pressure myself!
我自己出去修就行了
Thank you all for coming.
感谢大家来上课
Who here wants to go to Paris right now?
有谁想现在就去巴黎
Moi!
我[法语]
No. We're not getting on a plane.
不 我们不是要真的上飞机
We'll be transported by these humble ingredients.
这些普通的食材将带我们体验巴黎的味道
How great is he?
他是不是很棒
So great. Listen to everything he says.
超棒 仔细听他说的每一句话
Look to your left. Look to your right.
看看你们的左边 再看看你们的右边
Before this class is through,
这节课结束前
all of you will know how to make earl roasted chicken
你们都会学会做伯爵烤鸡
Ohh! I know this recipe.
我知道这个食谱
I could make this chicken in my sleep.
我在睡梦中也能做出来
How about we try it awake?
咱还是醒着做吧
Let's start with the most important ingredient -- thyme.
让我们从最重要的食材开始 百里香
That's right. It's time to chop thyme.
没错 "白丽"美人切百里香
He's just like he is on TV.
他和电视上一样有哏
Yeah.
是啊
Thyme and chicken play together very well,
百里香和鸡肉非常搭
unlike dogs and chickens.
不像狗跟鸡一样冲突
Tragic story, my rescue and I
悲惨故事 我的救援惠比特犬与我
live next to an urban farm and...
住在个都市农场边上...
Oh, my, do you mind if I use this as an example?
天啊 我可以用这个作范例吗
Oh! Avec pleasure.
荣幸之至
See how she's chopped it stems and all?
看到她怎么切这些根茎了吗
That's wrong.
这是错的
Sloppiness like this can ruin a dish.
马虎可是会毁了这道菜
Oh. I had no idea.
我都不知道呢
I suppose when it comes to herbs, though,
果然你在草药这一领域
you owe something of a sage.
你也算是鼠[尾草]一鼠二
That's clever. Thank you.
-好双关 -谢谢
You can't eat clever.
但双关不能吃
Freeze! Police!
不许动 警察
I'm a realtor, not a criminal.
我是房产经纪人 不是罪犯
Oh, well, then you're not doing it right.
那你当房产经纪人的功夫不够火候
Hey, Gil.
吉尔
If one of your clients is actually thinking
如果你的客户真考虑
about buying this minefield,
买这块雷区的话
that would be their second bad decision.
那就是他们犯的第二大错
- First was hiring you. - Yeah, I got it.
-第一大是雇了你 -我猜到了
You're not gonna push one of your clients
你不会真劝你的客户
into this swamp, are you?
买这块破地吧
Maybe it just needs a developer
可能它只是需要一个
with a little vision.
有远见的开发商
Very little vision and no sense of smell.
没啥远见 还没嗅觉
This neighborhood makes El Segundo
这块地让穷人区埃尔塞贡多
seem like a Sephora.
闻起来像美容化妆品店
It's in transition.
它正处于转型期
Yeah, it's turning into Fallujah.
是啊 转型成费卢杰[伊拉克城市]
I'm out of here before I get jacked.
我得走了 不然会被打劫的
- You're gonna be around for a while? - I might.
-你还要在这待一阵子吗 -说不定呢
Maybe you can score me some methadone.
那你可以给我搞点借代毒品美沙酮
Hey, Bob.
鲍勃
Good news, Phil. They accepted your offer.
好消息 菲尔 他们接受了你的报价
Without a counter? Maybe I came too high.
没有还价吗 我可能出的太高了
Whatever. They were really happy.
随便吧 他们很开心
Are...
Hold on, Bob. It's my son.
等下 鲍勃 我儿子的电话
Luke, what's up?
卢克 怎么了
Dad?
I think something is wrong with the dryer.
烘衣机好像出问题了
But I-I fixed it.
但我已经修好了啊
I fixed it good.
好到无话可说
I'll be right there.
我马上到
Hurry! I think it's leaving.
快点 它好像要跑了
Now, this is fresh produce.
现在 这是生鲜食品
I can't even describe...
我甚至不能描述
Strike three!
三振出局
How exactly is this an improvement?
这算哪门子的提高
Jay picked that lamp.
反正是杰选的那个灯
By the way. Have you seen him?
对了 你有见到他吗
I don't know how I got stuck.
我不知道我怎么困住的
I've been on roofs since I was 14 and discovered
我从14岁开始就经常上房顶
it was the best way to see into Ethel Burkin's bedroom.
发现那是看埃塞尔·伯京卧室最好的地点
Older gal. 50s, I think.
老女人 50多岁
Today you probably wouldn't give him a second look,
放到现在估计都不会多看她一眼
but this was before the Internet.
但那会儿还没网络
It was either that or a Sears catalog.
不看她就得看百货内衣目录
Can I take a picture of this?
我能拍个照吗
Sometimes my friends don't believe my stories.
有时候我朋友觉得我的故事太扯
There's gonna be a better way of doing this.
应该有更好的方法
On the contrary, Mitchell.
正相反 米奇尔
It's simplicity itself.
这简单极了
I dislodge the nest. It falls into the trash can.
我打掉马蜂窝 掉到垃圾桶里
You close the lid.
你盖上盖子
Then we just have a barrel full of angry wasps.
那我们就有一桶愤怒的马蜂
They will be swiftly transported to a farm up state
它们会很快被送到郊外的农场
where they'll be much happier.
在那儿它们会更加幸福
Ooh, they'll see my friend's dog.
它们还能见到我朋友的狗呢
常见的骗小孩宠物没死掉 只是送去乡下的借口
Yeah, just like that.
是啊 没错
All right. First, we just have to dislodge the nest.
好啦 首先 我们打掉马蜂窝
No, no, no, no!
不 不 不
There's one on my face. There's one --
我脸上有一只 还有
Don't move. I've been compromised.
别动 我被敌人发现了
Get in the house!
快进屋里
Ow! Ow! Oh! Ow! Ooh! Bad idea!
喔 喔 喔 真是个坏主意
Ow! I was gonna take you to a farm!
我本来会把你们送到农场呢
I may have to change the name of this side dish
我可能得把这个配菜的名字改为
to "Potatoes au great-in."
不"菜"的土豆烤菜
I'm not hearing a difference.
改前改后没啥差别啊
Gratin...
烤"菜"双关...
Oh, this is...unique.
这很独特
Yes, thank you very much.
是的 太谢谢你啦
You know how on your show you were always taking chances
在你的节目中 你总是敢于冒险尝试
and trusting your instincts?
相信你的直觉
Well, that is what I did.
我也这么做了
That's because I have good instincts.
那是因为我直觉很准
What's something you do well?
你什么事做得好
Cook?
烹饪
No.
Uh, mom, I think what he's trying to say
妈 我想他想说的是
is that you should more closely follow his recipe.
你应该严格按照他的食谱来做
You know, use the ingredients that he mentions.
用他提到的食材
Measure stuff.
而且都该测量好
- Right? - Not at all.
-对吧 -才不是
As I say in the foreword
正如我在我的第三本书
of my third book, "Who Can't Cook?"
《谁不会做饭》的前言中所说
"Some people can't cook."
"有些人就是不会做饭"
Don't feel bad.
别难过
Gourmet cooking is tough,
美食烹调很难
though not as tough as your chicken.
不过你做的鸡肉"更难"嚼
I can't believe I'm hearing this.
真不敢相信会听到你这话
It's times like this
就是因为像这样的情况
I wish I had a refund policy.
我才希望我们有退款政策
Wait a second.
等下
I have been making
我这几个月
this food for my family for months now.
一直给我的家人做这些
I make a big meal every Sunday.
每周日都做一顿大餐
I'm a working mom.
我是上班族妈妈
It's my one chance a week to give my family something
这是我一周中为家人做些什么
and make up for the time I haven't spent with them.
弥补我错过的时光的唯一机会
Are you telling me I've been giving my family garbage?
你是在告诉我 我一直在给我家人做垃圾吗
Wait, uh...
等下
Haley, honey,
海莉 亲爱的
have I been serving you garbage?
我给你做的是垃圾吗
What do you think I said?
你觉得我会说什么
She is the best cook ever.
她是最好的厨师
We love all of her meals.
我们喜欢她做的所有的菜
- Am I singing? - So good.
-是不是像音乐一样悦耳 -太棒了
So...
Jay?
Jay!
I'm up here.
我在上面
Ay, Dios mio! Your time was too short!
我的天啊 天妒英才 英年早逝啊
I'm on the roof.
我在屋顶
Ah. Oh, okay.
好的
So come down because the TV's working already.
下来吧 电视已经好了
You know, I'm kind of enjoying hanging out up here.
我很享受待在这儿
I-I'll be down in a little bit.
等会儿我再下去
Hey, if Joe wants to work on his throwing arm,
如果乔想锻炼投球的手臂
maybe he can toss up, uh, an empty bottle.
他可以投个空瓶子上来
Are you stuck up there?
你被困在上面了吗
Stuck? No!
困住 才没有
I can come down whenever I want to.
我随时想下来就可以下来
I just have to... dangle my body out over the edge
我只要把身体挂到天台边缘
and then reach blindly
然后凭感觉踩上
for that top rung of the ladder you're not supposed to use.
不应该踩的梯子最顶端那一阶就行了
But I'll be in in a little bit.
但我等会再回去
I got a few things I got to do.
我这还有些事要搞定
Got to maintain the roof.
我得先保养一下这个房顶
It's your house's hat.
这可是你家房子的帽子
I called the one person
我打电话给了一个
I couldn't possibly be embarrassed in front of.
我绝不可能在他面前感到丢脸的人
It's grandpa.
外公的电话
Don't answer! He can't know about this.
不要接 不能让他知道这件事
We have a verbal contract that's largely based
我们有一个基本上是因为我有能力
on my ability to fix dryers.
修好烘干机才达成的口头协议
Please work.
拜托一定要好
Yes!
成功了
Maybe.
..吧
- What's that smell? - Failure.
-那是什么味道 -失败的味道
Oh, Cam, that sting looks really bad.
小卡 那个蛰伤看起来挺严重的
We -- We should get you to a doctor.
我们应该带你找个医生看看
A doctor for a wasps sting?
被马蜂蜇[上流人笑]就找医生吗
WASP: 原指殖民时代来自英国的新教上流社会移民这类白人常带有种族主义 排外主义 反同 文化种族优越感
Yes, let's put on our top hats
行啊 让我们戴上大礼帽
and eat crumpets while we're on our way.
在去的路上再吃点英国小圆饼
Okay, I know you think you're making a point.
好啦 我知道你觉得自觉言之有理
Back on the farm,
以前在农场的时候
every time we would take down a wasp nest,
每次我们除掉马蜂窝的时候
I would get stung.
我总是要被蛰一下
Something you might have mentioned.
这事你应该提前说的
And never once did I need fancy medicine.
我从没需要擦过那些高级的药膏
Just a little mud.
就是抹上一点泥
That's right, Lily.
没错 莉莉
Daddy's being self-reliant.
大爸就是这么自立自强
What do you think the chances are he means actuall mud?
你觉得他说的泥有几成机率是指真的泥土
Pretty good.
几率非常高
Like my Aunt Dot said,
就像我阿姨多特说过的
"Whether it's bee stings or back aches,
"不论是被蜜蜂蛰了还是背疼
a little mud is good for what ails you."
一点泥巴就可以帮助你缓解疼痛"
I don't remember meeting an Aunt Dot.
我怎么不记得见过哪个多特阿姨
She died.
她已经去世了
15 minutes later.
15分钟后
All right.
好吧
I thought I'd make you a little bit --
我想我给你做了一点
Oh, my God!
要了亲命
What? My face?
咋了 我的脸吗
Is it bad? It feels bad.
很糟糕吗 我感觉很糟糕
It looks a little like
它看上去有一点像
you stared directly into the Lost Ark.
电影里人的脸被融化掉的样子
- I want to see. - You don't.
-我想照镜子看看 -你不会想看到的
Do you think maybe me putting mud on it made it worse?
你觉得会不会是因为我擦了泥才让它恶化了
I don't know how putting dirt directly into a wound --
我是不知道把脏兮兮的泥土直接擦在伤口上...
It -- It -- Where are you going?
会不..会 你要去哪
To the doctor. I want to be pretty again.
去找医生 我还想要我的盛世美颜呢
Well, w-what about being self-reliant?
好吧 那咱们不自力更生了吗
It's my face! Let's go!
伤的是人家的脸蛋啊 快点啦
Wasps! They're still out there!
马蜂 它们还在门外
Yeah, I'll hold.
可以 我能等
I'm pulling out of the deal.
我要撤回这笔交易
Why? What happened?
为什么 怎么啦
I'm not the man you thought
我并不是你心目中那
you had middle of the day sex with.
大白天跟你滚床单的霸气男人
Honey, I heard about the dryer.
亲爱的 我听说烘干机的事了
It's not just that.
不只是因为这个
I ran into Gil. He thinks it's a bad idea.
我还遇到格尔 他觉得这是自寻死路
Your dad's money is on the line.
我也得顾虑你爸投进来的钱
I've never done anything like this.
我从没做过像这样的事
Who cares what Gil Thorpe thinks?
谁管格尔·索普觉得怎么样
Nobody knows more about real estate than you do,
世上没人比你还懂房地产不是吗
and you've been thinking about this project for a long time.
而且你已经琢磨这项目很久了
I believe in you.
我对你有信心
You should believe in yourself.
你也应该对自己有信心
Yeah, hey, Bob.
鲍伯
It's Phil.
是菲尔
Remove the contingencies. Let's do this.
删除掉抽身条款吧 咱们干到底
Is that a fact?
这是真的吗
Thanks for letting me know.
感谢你告诉我这事
Gil Thorpe made a backup offer.
格尔·索普也给了个后备开价
He was just trying to scare me away.
他只是想把我给吓走
Oh! I am so proud of you!
我真是以你为荣
Wow. Looks like the both of us had
貌似我们两个
a little crisis of confidence today.
今天都遇到了一点信心危机
In my cooking classs...
今天上烹饪班时...
- Yes? - Yes, well,
-然后呢 -是这样的
Chef Dumont had the audacity
杜蒙特大厨居然大言不惭说
to tell me that I can't cook.
我压根就不是块做饭的料
Luckily, this one was there to straighten him out.
幸好 有她在现场反驳了他的屁话
I'm gonna make you a celebratory dinner.
我要给你做一顿庆祝晚餐
I think I've got most of the ingredients.
我觉得我应该有大多数材料了
I can't wait! Mm-hmm.
我真是等不及啦
You had one job.
就给了你一个任务
Hi, Jay.
Oh, crap. She called you.
靠 她打给你搬救兵了
Give me your hand.
手给我
Why? So you can show me up again?
为啥 好让你再羞辱我一次吗
What are you talking about?
你在说什么呢
Give it a rest.
你就省省吧
You come in here with your young shoulders,
大摇大摆带着你那强健的年轻肩膀
your ukulele.
还有尤克里里来显摆
I'm not trying to show you up, Jay.
杰 我从来没有想要羞辱你啊
I'm trying to impress you.
我是想给你制造好印象
Why the heck would you want to do that?
你为毛会想给我个好印象啊
I guess you could say like you,
其实跟你现在有点像
I'm stranded in my own way.
我在自己的事上有点搁浅了
This is my least-favorite way of talking.
我实在很不喜欢这么说话
I got to tell you, Jay,
杰 我老实告诉你
I'm over the whole sports thing.
我想退出运动界了
But you just won the championship.
可你才刚赢得冠军啊
Exactly.
没错
And there's no more Dragons to slay.
对我来说世上已无龙可斩
That's the team we beat last year --
这不是比喻 我是指去年打败的队
the Baby Blue Dragons.
淡蓝宝宝龙
I'm not seeing how I figure into this.
我还是完全没懂你啥意思
I want to start my own business.
我想自己创业
You've been so successful.
而你是成功多年的前辈
I was thinking maybe you could be my mentor.
我在想或许能找你当我的导师
What line of work?
哪方面的生意
Pre-fab gazebos.
预组装凉亭
Nice!
赞耶
Every backyard could be its own town square.
把每家的后院变成自家的市中心广场
I knew you'd get it.
我就知道你会懂
After all, what's a gazebo but...
毕竟 所有的凉亭
- An outdoor closet! - an outdoor closet?
-都是户外的衣柜嘛 -户外的衣柜嘛
You're all right, Coach Gary.
你还行 盖里教练
Give me your hand. Help me down.
手给我 帮忙我下来
We'll get a few drinks, and we'll talk business.
我们一起喝两杯 然后咱们谈谈生意
Gary's Gazebos.
盖里的凉亭
Gazebos by Gary.
盖里家凉亭
Gary's Gazebos and Sheds.
盖里家凉亭与工具棚
You don't need me.
你都不需要请教我
All right.
好啦
Is this you sitting alone in an empty yard
这是你独自坐在空荡荡后院
wishing you had....
幻想着如果你有...
...a gazebo...
一个凉亭
...or a shed?
或工具棚的样子吗
If it is, then call Gary's Gazebos and Sheds.
如果是你 请致电盖里家凉亭与工具棚
Because here, we only do one thing --
因为在这里 我们只致力于一件事
...sell, install,
贩卖 安装
and service gazebos and sheds.
与保养凉亭与工具棚
And ask about our bird baths.
也欢迎询问花园小鸟水盆啊
We own 10% of that, you know.
我们有这生意一成股份呢
How much money did you put into the businesses?
你花了多少钱投资这生意啊
Well, you can't take it with you.
反正我钱财生不带来死不带去
But we'll all still be here!
可是我们其他几个都会健在呢