Daddy, want to come throw with me?
Oh, actually -- I'm actually in the middle of --
- Not you. - Okay.
Oh, uh, yeah, but just for a bit while, uh, Gloria and Joe
go through some of your old toys in the garage.
Kid loves that cape.
So, I see your stance on sons wearing accessories has evolved.
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The cape gives him superpowers.
What did leg warmers give you?
Flair. They gave me flair.
Leave me alone, okay?
Everybody, leave me alone.
Hey! What's all that?
I just -- I'm sorry. I just need a night away.
Here. Want to help?
- I don't do that. - Okay.
It's just -- It's been a lot recently,
you know, coming off of a really long trial,
Cam's spring cleaning frenzy,
hauling Lily all over for softball,
pretending to care about softball.
Oh, I get needing time away.
I was married to your mother.
Like you are now.
I have it all planned out.
I drive to the desert.
I check into the Markham --
a few hours by the pool, massage,
then I head downstairs for a juicy steak frites,
just me and my book, which can't talk to me.
Asking Cam to go away alone
is three weeks of wounded crazy
that I -- I don't want to deal with right now.
Isn't that what you fought for?
Okay, I don't know what to address first.
Uh, Jay, Gloria's ready to go.
All right. Take it easy.
You have a good one, too... Mrs. Tucker.
Why'd he call you Mrs. Tucker?
Why does he wear those boxy jeans? I don't know.
No, seriously. W-Why is he messing with you?
不 说真的 他为什么又在吐槽你
All right, yeah, what the hell.
Um, I told him how I would love to go
to the desert for a night.
Okay, yeah. Fun. Let's go!
好啊 多有趣 我们去吧
How I would love to go to the desert for a night alone.
If you want to go alone, go alone. I don't care.
Oh, see, you said "I don't care" twice.
Because that's how much I don't care.
Why are you still here?
Cam, don't be hurt. I'm not running from you.
小卡 别受伤 我不是在逃离你
- Here. - And I'm not folding that.
I just wanted a night alone, okay?
Lily's going to that sleepover tonight.
It seemed like a good night to do it.
You know, I don't love the implication
that I'm so needy I can't spend one night by myself.
You didn't not say that.
And you're not not being needy.
Well, to show you how not needy I am,
I... will pack your bag for you.
It's already packed?
Oh, yeah, well, this is the third time
I've tried asking you.
Bye. I love you. Okay.
再见 我爱你 就这样
Oh, hello, Claire.
I just got back from the most beaut-- Oh!
Welcome to your prerecorded seduction.
I know my wife so well, I was able to anticipate
her questions before she asked them.
Well, this is kind of fun.
I don't know. The world's a pretty big place.
Help yourself to a glass of wine, my love.
Oh, it's kind of early in the day,
but how often do we get the house completely to ourselves?
I've got plans for you.
Hint -- This won't be the last time
you see me on a sheet today.
Well, I guess your beautiful lunch will have to wait.
Someone's here! No, Claire!
家里来人了 不要 克莱尔
Yes, Claire. Show me those pretty feet.
没错 克莱尔 让我看看你的美脚
How do you turn this thing off?
The sheet said yes.
You know what's not real conducive to studying?
100 nerds crying in every different Asian language!
You knew finals were coming, people.
Calm the hell down!
Oh, good. You're here.
Do we have any corn?
What is happening?
Are those chickens?
Epic senior prank.
Don't make it too epic. How will you top it next year?
Get them out. Get them out.
- Now, now, now. - I need to grab something upstairs.
Oh, God. Come on, guys.
我的天 搞什么 伙计们
The door! What is going on?
Guess who I found driving through the neighborhood
who insisted on stopping over to say hi
with his new wife and her kids!
You know, from before?
Mr. And Mrs. D, this is my wife,
Dr. Elaine Kolchuck.
Yeah, I don't know why he does that.
And these are my beauties,
And this is my son Douglas.
Anyway, I just wanted to pick
something up that I left here.
Bam! Your dad did that.
Yellow's the hardest side.
What is that sound? What happened?
Brooke the banister. I'll fix it!
What's this thing?
- Oh, no! - And now...
Everybody go home!
* Watching sports with my feet on the table *
* 把脚放在茶几上看体育比赛 *
* This is the best *
* 这样最棒了 *
* This is the best *
* 这样最棒了 *
* Being alone is the best *
* 自己待着最棒了 *
That was the name of the TV show
I couldn't remember at dinner last week.
Come on. Let's pop it in.
No. It's a bad time, Cam.
Turns out, it wasn't the allergies.
You shouldn't be close to me. I don't want to get you sick.
Oh, gosh. No danger of that.
I have the immune system of a horse.
When I was a kid, I needed a transfusion,
and there was a mix-up with the vials.
I've contacted Marvel Comics repeatedly,
but they don't seem interested.
Come on. I'll make you some chicken soup.
Cam, this is Sierra, my --
小卡 这是希拉 我的...
Gosh, what would you call us at this point?
Teacher-assigned study partners.
As you can see, I've got a lot of work to do, so...
如你所见 我有很多功课要做 所以...
Yeah, we only have another half-hour.
I promised my dad I'd get an oil change.
Oh, well, Manny can do that.
Yeah! Pull your car into the garage.
Just be careful not to hit his weight set or his power tools.
Wow. That would be awesome.
Cam, I know you're trying to help, but stop.
小卡 我知道你是想帮我 但别这么做
I'm clueless about cars,
and I really don't want her hitting Mom's weight set.
I'm gonna talk you through it.
Okay, missy, whatever you're working on over here,
好了 美女 不管你在忙什么
let me take over.
No, no, no. You can't.
This is my abuela's special fever cure.
Please hand me the dried scorpion.
You're gonna eat this?
No, don't be stupid.
I am gonna wrap it in a rag
and I am gonna let it soak into my head.
Okay. You know what?
Let's get you to bed, and I will bring it to you.
I can follow a recipe. Go on.
No, no, no. It's --
All right. Ground chicken beak.
Ew! Cilantro? Ugh.
I'll grab your room key. Restroom's over there.
I just drove the whole way. I had a huge iced tea, and --
我一路开车来没停过 又喝了一大杯冰茶 所以...
What am I doing? You know why people pee.
Might have been hasty turning down that site map.
I've walked into the same Bar Mitzvah twice now.
Hey! Whatcha doing here?
You said Cam wouldn't let you come.
I thought it was safe.
Safe to what, steal my special day?
Well, you made it sound so good!
The pool, the steak, no one to talk to.
游泳池 牛排 不用跟人聊天
Well, now we have someone to talk to.
Look, the place is gigantic.
You do your thing, I'll do mine.
Dad, you even stole the book that I'm reading.
When you were over at the house,
- I peeked at the jacket. - Of course.
I'm not gonna read something Larry King called "Crazy good"?
Fine. I'll see you back in civilization, okay?
行吧 我们回文明社会再见 好吗
Uh, you sure you don't need a site map.
Oh, no. I'm fine.
I've been here a million times. Thank you so much.
Are you trying to make me fail?!
Sweetheart, I know that you're stressed,
and we are so proud
that you stopped pulling out your eyelashes.
So proud. We are a little concerned
about this new, uh, pen-up-the-nose tic.
It's -- It's not a tic!
It's just something some people do occasionally.
- Where is it -- - It's right --
It's right -- You got it right there.
I mean, the crazy thing is
I'm happy Dylan found that old lady with those hideous kids.
I mean, how funny is it
that he is the one that settled down
and is doing so great while I'm alone basically forever?
Could you please go be tragic somewhere else?
Dylan, are you back?
I'm fixing the banister!
This is a nightmare!
You're not better than us.
I am so much better than you!
I'm not the one with the pen up her nose.
At least I have a boyfriend.
Who says that?
- Oh, God! - Haley crying about Dylan,
Alex freaking out about school,
this is like a big deja vu.
No, deja vu is when you imagine
that you've seen something before.
This is just vu!
In hindsight, I should have pulled my head out
before I nailed the post back in.
If only you ever did.
I think I may have gone too deep this time.
Sweet Caligula, that's a lot of blood.
Why would Dylan change his phone number?
Do you know how long it took him to memorize the last one?!
Both sides now?
Don't hate this glue smell.
Now comes the blood-loss migraine.
Oh, you know what? I-I can go get some medicine.
Oh, no. You know, I can do that.
Actually, my car's blocking your car.
Yeah, that's not a big deal. You know why?
Because I can take your car instead of mine! Bye!
因为我可以开你的车 不开自己的 再见
No. No, no, no! No way!
不 不不 不可能
Mind your own business!
But now I'm wondering if all that gasping
is about something I've already read or something coming up!
Don't tell me that!
Now I know there's a gasp coming in 20 pages.
Of course. You're following me.
Oh, I-I'm sorry. I thought you were someone else.
What the hell did I just witness?
Tell me about this sea bass special again.
Mediterranean prep, en papillote --
Baked in paper with tomato, red pepper,
锡纸内放入番茄 红椒 刺山柑
capers, onion, olives.
Literally my favorite fish dish.
Would you recommend that over the steak?
Hey, I was kind of in the middle of my own thing here.
Would you recommend it over the steak?
Fine. Steak. Stick with the plan.
好吧 牛排 就这个了
And I'll have a glass of the Merryvale Cab.
Yeah, me too. Thank you.
Sorry, the Merryvale Ca-- uh, doesn't come by the glass.
抱歉 梅利维尔红... 只以瓶贩卖
I-It seems like you two know each other.
You could split the fish and steak
and share the bottle of wine.
Never said we were.
This is actually my dad.
I came here for some alone time, but he copycatted me.
He said he wasn't coming
because his scary partner said he couldn't.
Still hits my ear wrong.
Wow. So, you're not even gonna...
Uh, just, my dad passed away when I was 10,
and I'd love to have dinner with him again.
Oh, Austin. That's so sad.
Anyway, I'll have a glass of any of the reds.
I'm sorry, buddy.
I didn't mean to pull your leg so hard.
Dylan was my romantic safety net.
How is a person supposed to live without one?
Alex, I'm asking!
It is scientifically impossible
for me to care less about your -- Ow!
Head down, honey.
- What?! - Where is your mom?
She's been gone for over an hour.
She's just sitting in the car.
- What?! - What?!
She's just sitting -- Never mind!
Hi. How long you been sitting out here?
That's a weird question. I literally just drove in.
Sorry. We usually try to get here in under 30 minutes.
Yeah, thank you. Okay.
Oh, God. Phil, I can't go back in there.
天啊 菲尔 我不能回去
I'm sorry. I tried.
I opened the door, but my legs wouldn't move.
What? What about Alex's pills?
So -- So we're running away from home.
I mean, I-I-is that okay?
Yes. We live with three adults.
We're basically landlords in an apartment building.
We're the Ropers!
Yes! Yes! We could just drive and drive.
对的 没错 我们想开去哪就开去哪
Exactly! We've earned the right to
live the empty-nesters' life
even though we're still full-nesters.
Do you remember that bottle of wine
we put aside the night Haley was born?
Yes! We were gonna open it
the night all three of them moved out.
And watch one of the thousands of movies we missed
'cause they were sick or hungry
or choking on the head of a Power Ranger.
I am a woman who has never seen "Thelma and Louise."
That's the only Harvey Keitel movie I've missed!
Where are we going?
Let's let the universe decide.
"Family is a gift you receive every day."
So they're making sarcastic ones now?
I think we just ruined someone's graduation.
Ay! I must have fallen asleep.
The fumes coming off of that potion are something else.
Yes. When we're done with this, don't throw it out
是啊 等用完了以后 别扔掉
because with a teaspoon, I can clean the swimming pool.
Okay, Manny needs to see me in the garage.
I will be right back.
Yeah, but come right back
because this cannot stay longer than five minutes.
Oh, and just for fun, what would happen
if it stayed on for, say, I don't know, 17?
Well, they say that --
You used Joe's cape for this smelly thing?
- You know how important this is for him? - No.
It goes me, the cape, chocolate chip cookies,
心中重要度是从我 披风 巧克力碎饼干
Well, can't we just say Jay ruined it,
since he's already so far down the list?
Has anyone seen my cape?
Uh, no. What's it look like?
Sorry. It's just so stressful.
You know what? I have to go to Manny.
Then I'll clean Joe's cape. Then I'll be back.
We will all be waiting for you here in Cancun.
Something's wrong. There's oil everywhere!
Well, you probably just need to tighten the drain plug.
You popped her tire?!
It's okay. It's all right.
Where does Jay keep his patch kit?
It took 20 minutes to find the light switch.
I'm gonna know where a patch kit is?
Don't panic. I saw one here earlier.
- Oh, no! No! - What?
-别啊 别 -干嘛
That's Joe's cape!
Joe loves this cape more than anything.
It goes me, the cape, chocolate chip cookies --
心中重要度顺序是我 披风 巧克力碎饼干
Almost done, Manny?
Yeah, well, he would be if I wasn't out here
asking him so many questions about, you know,
how to -- how to patch a tire, but like he said,
the directions are written clearly down
inside the patch kit.
And then if you get in a real jam,
there's tons of videos online, anyway.
Shouldn't we give him some space?
Maybe get some -- some tea?
So, do you have a date for spring formal?
I probably won't even go. I have nothing to wear.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
It's not that big of a deal.
I mean, people are starving.
This isn't a sign, is it?
Well, it's not a sturdy one, but they're only fifth-graders.
No! No, that we shouldn't have run away!
No. We're just gonna tie this off, hit the open road,
and keep driving until the toilets flush
in the other direction.
Oh, God! Oh, no! It's floating away!
It's caught in the tree, we can reach it.
- Get on my shoulders! - What?
Right! Oh, yeah, right. Oh!
Okay, I forgot about that.
Oh, wait. Go forward!
Just reach for the string! Are you reaching for the string?
No, I'm pretending I'm at a Def Leppard concert!
It's right there! Just grab it!
I can't reach it, Phil!
I can't reach "The Next Chapter!"
Oh, my God. Let me down. Let me down.
我的天啊 放我下来 放我下来吧
- What? - Let me down.
Don't you see what the universe is trying to tell us?
We are never gonna reach the next chapter.
Luke's not going to college.
Haley's gonna grow old in the basement.
Alex is just gonna keep coming back to taunt us
and use up our tissues!
I don't think the universe cares that much about us.
Phil, we tried to run away,
and I can still see our chimney from here.
Oh, yeah. This is it.
Sweetheart, I-I am as upset as you are,
but since when did anything work out the way we planned?
We didn't plan on having Haley.
We didn't plan on having Alex.
We did plan on having Luke,
but we didn't plan on having Luke.
I'm having a tantrum. And I love our kids, I do.
我在闹脾气 但我也爱我们的孩子 真的
Most of the time, I do.
It's just I had this --
this picture of how our life would look right now.
This is not that.
Maybe we don't have throw away the picture.
Just refocus it a little.
Lug nut. Tire iron.
Flugel hammer. Pigeon door.
These are all nonsense words to me.
I don't know what I'm doing here.
Yeah, well, I don't know what I'm doing here, either.
Am I so incapable of spending a night alone
that I had to come over here and create all this drama?
No wonder Mitchell wanted to get away from me.
Oh! Hey, well, thank you, Manny,
for letting me tighten that last wheel screw.
Maybe next week you could teach me how to street punch?
Cam found it upstairs for me.
It's one of your mom's dresses. Isn't that crazy?
I can see running it by a therapist.
So, car looks done.
Do you maybe want to, I don't know,
go get something to eat?
Uh, sure! But I'm a little dirty.
So? It's cute.
It looks like a monster ate it!
See? It tells a story.
This burn is from when you fought a dragon!
A-And these oil stains?
Well, they're from when you saved that 18-wheeler
from going off a bridge.
This is the cape of a superhero
who's always there for people in need.
That was so nice, Cam.
Thanks. You look better.
And your fever's gone.
I don't know what you put in my abuela's potion,
but it took care of the fever faster than ever.
Look! It even made my teeth whiter, huh?
Oh! Wow. Look at that.
Here I was beating myself up because I couldn't be alone,
and one could argue that everybody in this house
is a little better off because of it.
Well, I lost a dress and the house smells like smoke,
so I wouldn't be high-fiving myself that much.
Nobody keeps me on edge for 500 pages
then decides they're just done writing.
Either end the damn story or don't even write it!
God, for a minute, I thought I missed something.
The chance to read a great book on your one night alone.
Well, at least the steak was good, right?
Nice cut. Perfectly cooked.
What? What's -- What's funny?
怎么 怎么 哪里好笑了
The steak, the book, hell, this whole trip.
牛排 书 这整段旅程
You're turning into me!
No, no, no. Dad. No, no.
才不是呢 爸 不不不
Hey. You're turning into me.
The fact that you stayed with that book at all,
which is basically a love story between two men.
It's a buddy thing!
Buddies don't find that many opportunities
to skinny-dip together.
Every time they saw a body of water,
it was off with the pants, splash!
Come on. You're just making it worse.
Oh, my God! Your hands!
That's what your spa appointment was.
You got a manicure.
It's because Gloria said that my hands were too rough.
Considerate -- That's me.
Running from your family -- That's me.
Ah, I guess it's possible
that we both moved to the center a little.
Yeah, well, it makes sense.
It definitely makes things easier between us.
A little less distance.
Uh, hey, um... here's a --
It's a crazy thought.
There's -- There's something old us could never do
without tears and screaming
that I think new us might be able to handle.
It might help me out at home, you know, if -- if you're game.
Lead with your elbow.
Shift your weight.
No, it wasn't good, but I'm not crying
and you haven't called me "Missy", so let's keep going.
They had no choice.
The light turns red when you put something on it,
green when the hook is free.
- I call it a Smart Hook. - So smart.
I got the idea... when I was in a parking garage.
- You know those little lights... - Oh, God, Dad. No, don't look.
-你知道他们的指示灯... -天啊 爸 别回头看
- Don't look. - What are they doing here?
They're not gonna want to have brunch with us, are they?
They can't! This is our day!
You think they see us?
Just keep walking.
No sudden movements.
The site maps say there's another cafe...
- My book. - Leave it!