摩登家庭 第八季 Modern Family Season 8 第3集: Blindsided

上映日期: 2,016

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 克里斯·科赫

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 诺兰·古德 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 奥布里·


台词
I'm so glad you like the house! Hey, so a few things --
真高兴你喜欢那栋房子 有几件事跟你说说
One, all the appliances are included,
一 所有家电都包
two, the previous residents were murdered there,
二 之前的住户在屋里被杀害了
and three, it just passed mold inspection.
三 房子刚通过霉菌检查
So, when should we --
我们什么时候
Yeah. I get it.
好 我懂
Well, we'll -- we'll just keep looking.
我们继续看吧
Although it does give the house character.
但这给了房子鲜明的特色啊
If those walls could talk.
如果那些墙能说话就好了
I agree. It's not funny. Bye-bye.
我同意 不好笑 再见
It's okay, honey. You're gonna sell that murder house.
没事 亲爱的 你能卖掉那栋凶宅的
b 316 121 316 121 316 121 b 316 121 320 121 323 121 b 323 121 323 123 323 123 b b 311 122 317 114 317 114 b 317 114 317 114 317 114 b b b 317 105 316 107 314 112 b 313 112
m 71 60 b 71 0 161 0 161 60 b 161 120 71 120 71 60
m 20 0 l 209 0 b b b 11 228 0 218 0 209 l 0 20 b 0 11 11 0 20 0
Thanks.
谢谢
原创翻译 双语字幕
仅供学习 禁止用于任何商业盈利行为更多影视更新请登陆www.ZiMuZu.tv
"Ahh, Get this blood off me!"
"把血迹从我身上弄走"
What? Wh-- Off who?
什么 从谁身上
翻译: 冰蓝 丁小七 glida
The Walls.
墙[沃尔一家]
You mean Barb and Thad Wall? Are they in trouble?
巴布和撒德·沃尔吗 他们惹到什么麻烦吗
翻译: 洗七里 猪肉白菜水饺
遵照医嘱 两天不能说话
校对: 主席请选赛太公
喉咙很痛 传染性单核细胞增多症很严重
作为这个家庭里唯一有槽要吐的人
时间轴: 三水
我却不能说话
后期: 瓜瓜 总监: 怀念浓子的瓜瓜
Morning.
早上好
Oh, would you like some coffee?
你想来点咖啡吗
God, no. I've been up all night. I got to get to bed.
天啊不要 我整晚没睡 我得去睡觉了
Hey, can you guys not use, like, the blender
你们能别用搅拌机
or vacuum or anything?
吸尘器什么的吗
I just need five hours.
我需要清静五个小时
So, I guess we've stopped looking for a new job?
看来你停止找新工作了
Actually, we have.
实际上 是的
Your daughter has gone into business for herself.
你女儿自己创业了
Great. What kind of business?
太棒了 什么业务
I put a group of girls together,
我召集了一群姑娘
and we promote clubs and stuff via social media.
我们通过社交媒体宣传俱乐部和别的东西
That doesn't sound like a real job.
听起来不像是靠谱工作
Your last job barely sounded like a real job.
你的上一份工作听起来都不怎么靠谱了
We made $500 last night for promoting a hookah bar.
我们昨晚宣传水烟吧赚了五百块呢
I remember when you were a little girl.
我还记得你小的时候
You told me you wanted your job to be "Princess."
你跟我说你希望你的工作是"公主"
I would kill for those days.
真想回到那些日子
"Is that why you're dressed like a hookah?"
所以你才穿得像是个水烟[妓女]吗
Honey, you're not making sense again.
亲爱的 你又在说听不懂的话了
Do you need to lie down?
你需要躺下休息吗
Mom, I knew you would be like this.
妈妈 我就知道你会这样
Dad, you understand what I'm doing, right?
爸爸 你能理解我的事业 对吧
Of course. Power of social media.
当然啦 社交媒体的力量
I'm on "Team Gets It."
我是"懂你"战队的人
Can you guys just give me a chance
你们能不能给我个机会
to get this thing off the ground?
让我带这事业起步
Yes. We can.
当然可以
I always keep an open mind.
我总是保持开明的态度
Fine. You take this one. My plate's full.
行 这事你负责 我太忙没空
I've got a meeting at school today
我今天要去学校面谈
to discuss Luke's college options.
谈论卢克有何大学选择
Should be a short meeting.
那估计几句就谈完了
家 庭
摩 登
第八季 第三集
Throw it, baby! Throw it!
快扔 快扔
Yes!
好棒
Dwight, that's the way you read the reverse.
德怀特 横向传球就是这样破解的
Gentlemen, circle up!
各位 围过来
We are 3-0, but if we're gonna go all the way,
我们3比0了 但如果我们要获得冠军
we all need to be as mentally
我们都需要像德怀特一样
and physically tough as Dwight.
内心坚强 体格健壮
- Coach? - Yes?
-教练 -怎么了
You know my dad's in the service?
你知道我爸爸在军队服役吧
He's being restationed to Florida.
他被调去了佛罗里达驻扎
What?
什么
Today's my last day.
今天是我的最后一天
Okay, uh...
好吧
everybody get some water.
大家喝点水
- Coach, you okay? - Mm-hmm. Yeah.
-教练 你没事吧 -没事
Welcome, welcome!
欢迎啊
- Hello! - Shall we start?
-你好 -我们开始可以吗
Shouldn't we wait for Luke's guidance counselor?
不等卢克的辅导员了吗
Mrs. Marks is going through a terrible divorce.
马克斯老师正经历一场惨烈的离婚
She's very fragile right now.
她现在很脆弱
So I'm trying to keep the more challenging cases away from her.
所以我尽量不让她处理比较有挑战性的事情
None taken.
我幼小心灵没受伤
I have been perusing your transcript.
我仔细查看了你的成绩单
And, uh, apropos of nothing --
随口说句
You know, not every kid is destined for college.
不是每个孩子都注定要上大学的
But Luke is, right?
但卢克是 对吧
Okay, I'll play along.
好吧 我配合演出
The reality is that Luke's grades and test scores
现实是 卢克的成绩和分数
are what we educators call suboptimal.
是我们教育者所称的不如人意
Is that good?
那是好事吗
See what I'm talking about?
明白我的意思了吧
So, we're gonna have to really juice
所以我们得专注靠
the extracurriculars, okay?
课外活动加分 好吗
Is there anything he's, uh, passionate about?
他对什么比较感兴趣
I love chicken pot pie.
我爱鸡肉馅饼
Remember when I said I would do most of the talking?
记得我说过主要由我来说话吗
Principal Brown!
布朗校长
Leslie Kwan Collins from The Daily Dolphin.
我是《每日海豚报》的莱斯丽·关·柯林斯
Yeah. I know who you are, Leslie.
我知道你是谁 莱斯丽
Must we do this dance every single time?
我们每次都要来一遍吗
Would you like to issue a statement about Eric Thompson's
你想对埃里克·汤普森突然辞职
abrupt resignation as Student Council President?
学生会主席一事发表声明吗
Sure. Here's my statement -- Pbht!
行啊 这是我的声明 呸
My sources say that he was caught selling
我的线人说他被抓到
school saxophones on Craigslist.
在分类广告网上倒卖学校的萨克斯管
Well, guess you could say you had a "Sax" Scandal, then.
看来可以写有"萨"[性]丑闻啊
A sax scandal -- I'm running with that.
"萨"丑闻 我要用这个标题
Oh, thanks a lot for that. Very helpful.
谢谢你全家 帮了大忙
So, where did we land?
说到哪里来了
We're putting Luke on Adderall or taking him off? I forget.
是让卢克吃阿得拉还是怎么 我忘了
一种治疗注意力缺失或者多动症的药 不宜乱吃有学生吃了来增加专注力 又被成为"聪明药"
We weren't discussing Adderall.
我们根本没在讨论阿得拉
Although, Adderall has helped a lot of kids.
但阿得拉的确帮助了很多孩子呢
Hey, we need a new president. Why don't I just do that?
我们需要一个新主席 我为何不去竞选呢
Maybe it'll be cool.
也许会很酷
I do like bossing people around.
我的确喜欢指挥人
That's called leadership.
那叫领导能力
Wow, look at you.
瞧瞧你
I think I'm maturing.
我觉得我在变成熟呢
Luke, this is a lot of work.
卢克 这责任十分重大
Are you sure you're up for it?
你确定你能胜任吗
Mom, it's all I've ever wanted
妈妈 这是我一分钟前听到后
since I heard about it a minute ago.
唯一想要的东西
Yeah. Well, I think you should go for it.
好吧 我觉得你该去竞选
I can't think of a single reason why not.
我想不出一个理由来反对
曼尼竞选主席
All right, girls.
好 姑娘们
So, I have a couple notes about last night.
关于昨晚我有些想说的
Arizona, I was looking at your selfies.
亚利桑那 我看了你的自拍
- Are your parents mallards? - What?
-你爸妈是绿头鸭吗 -什么
What's with all the duckface?
你那鸭脸是怎么回事
You look like you're at a bachelorette party in Tampa.
你看起来就像在参加水边的单身派对
And, Katen, did I see you drinking a water
而你 卡滕 我竟然看到你在
at The Red Room?
"红房"酒吧里喝水
I had to wake up early in the morning.
我隔天早上需要早起
Oh, yes, because that's what we're promoting --
是啊 这正是我们想宣传的
a club where people make good decisions.
一间能让人做出理智决定的酒吧
I'm sorry!
对不起
You are so weak.
你弱爆了
I can't believe I let you kiss me in front of the Lakers.
真不敢相信我竟然让你在湖人队面前亲我
Not to sound like a total Katen,
我不想学卡滕说话
but Haley's new job seems whack.
可海莉的新工作看起来可真鸟啊
If Haley wants to work in promotion,
如果海莉想学宣传推广
she should learn from my guy -- Mr. Merv Schechter.
她该跟我的人学学 梅尔夫·舍希特尔先生
Among his brilliant innovations --
他无数伟大的创新发明里包含了
the indoor blimp that drops coupons at basketball games.
在篮球比赛中发折扣劵的室内飞艇
Sadly, it was later weaponized
可惜 那发明后来
by several terrorist organizations.
被一些恐怖组织给武器化了
Hey, Jay, do you need to julienne any vegetables?
杰 你需要把什么蔬菜切丝吗
- What? - If so, you can use the knife
-什么 -如果需要 你可以用
your grandson jammed in my back.
你外孙在我背上插的那把刀来切丝
Well, that was worth the journey.
听他说话真是不浪费时间
What happened, papi?
发生什么事了 宝贝
Luke decided to run against me
卢克打算参选
for Student Council President.
跟我竞争学生会主席宝座
I've devoted my entire life to public service,
我把人生献给了公共服务事业
only to be challenged by a guy who's devoted his entire life
现在却要受到一个把人生献给了
to watching skateboard fails on YouTube.
看网上摔滑板视频的人的挑战
Luke's running for President?
卢克要竞选学生会主席吗
I mean, I love him, but --
我是说 我爱他 但是...
Jay is right. Luke is a dummy.
杰说得对 卢克是个蠢货
Never said that.
我可没这么说过
He wants a fight, he's got one.
他想要战 那便战吧
I'm going to hit my step-nephew
我要用语言给我的继侄子
with so many stinging rejoinders
一点颜色看看
that he'll be crying step-uncle.
然后他就会哭给他继舅舅看
Yes! Dynamic wordplay!
真棒 激情嘴仗
High-school kids love that!
高中的孩子最爱看了
- He's gonna lose. - He might not.
-他输定了 -不一定
Really, you want to roll those dice? Hmm.
你真的想赌运气吗
Remember how depressed he got when he lost the last election?
还记得他上次竞选输了有多抑郁吗
Hi, Daddy.
大爸
There she is -- our little girl!
我们的小女孩在这啊
Mitchell, do you remember back before we had her
米奇尔 你还记得她来我们家之前
how we were so worried that an extra person
我们是怎么担心家里多一个人
would make the house feel so crowded?
是不是会太挤吗
Uh... no. I don't remember that at all.
不 我不记得我们有担心过
Oh, boy, were we wrong.
我们错了
- You didn't want me? - This isn't about you, honey.
-你当初不想要我吗 -宝贝 这事跟你没关系
I think Daddy's ramping up to something.
我猜你大爸有所图谋
Anyhoo, there's a football player on the team
总之 橄榄球队有一名队员
who needs a place to stay until the end of football --
需要找个地方住到赛...
No. No, no, no.
不 不 不行
- Would you let me finish? - Okay, fine. Go ahead.
-能让我说完吗 -好 你说吧
Season.
季结束
No. He can't stay here.
不 他不能住这里
Cam, we don't have the room.
小卡 我们没有多的房间
He can sleep in the den.
他可以睡书房
I love the den. I watch TV in the den.
我爱书房 我在书房里看电视
Besides, where are you gonna sleep tonight after this fight?
那里被占了 我们这架吵完你今晚睡哪
He can sleep in the apartment upstairs?
他可以住楼上的公寓
No. We need the rent to pay the mortgage.
不 我们需要租金来还贷款
I'm sorry, Cam. It's not gonna happen.
抱歉 小卡 这事没得商量
Coach, can I come in yet?
教练 我能进来了吗
See, now you've put me in an awkward position.
看 你现在害我陷入一个很尴尬的局面
Why can't he stay with someone else?
他为什么不能跟别人一起住
Because I'm his football coach, and his father trusts me.
因为我是他橄榄球教练而他父亲信任我
Cam, why you always --
小卡 你为什么总是...
- Hey! - Hey!
-你好 -你好
- Hi. - Hey.
-你好 -好啊
Why do you always insist on making these big decisions
你为什么每次做这种重大决定之前
without discussing it with me first?
都不先跟我讨论一下
- I do not. - You asked that couple
-我哪有 -你邀请我们
we met at the car-rental counter to vacation with us.
在租车行碰见的那对夫妻跟我们一起度假
It would have been rude not to.
不邀请感觉很没礼貌啊
It was our honeymoon.
可那是我们的蜜月之旅啊
- Sorry, your... - doorknob came off.
-抱歉 -门把手掉了
- It sure did, big guy! - Again?
-当然啦 大个子 -又掉啦
Okay, that's fine.
好吧 那没关系
I'm already hating this.
我已经有点受不了了
I don't want to be critical.
我不想显得在嫌弃你
You got to be kidding me.
你不是吧
This is not one of your more loveable traits.
但这个特质是你比较不讨喜的一个
- What isn't? - Always saying "No" to things
-什么特质 -就总是先拒绝一切
and then eventually coming around.
虽然最终总会想通
Why can't we just skip to the good part?
我们为什么不能跳过不讨喜的部分呢
I think you'd have a different attitude about this
我觉得如果做这种单方面决定的人是我
if I was the one constantly making unilateral decisions.
你的态度肯定会不一样
If it was something important to you, I would support it.
如果是对你很重要的东西 我会支持你的
Oh. Are you sure about that?
你真的确定吗
100%, and once you get to know Dwight the way...
百分之百 而且当你逐渐了解德怀特到
I do, you will find that he will enrich --
像我一样了解他 你会发现他会增加...
Okay, Dwight, please stop moving.
好了 德怀特 快停止一切动作
Hola, Luke!
你好 卢克
Hey, guys. What are you doing in my room?
你们来我屋里想做什么
Just wanted to see my favorite grandson.
就想来看看我最喜欢的外孙
You guys been drinking?
你们喝酒了吧
No more than usual.
量跟平常都差不多
I heard a rumor that you're running
我听到一个传闻
for Student Council President.
说你要竞选学生会主席
Yep. I'm working on my speech right now.
是的 我正在写我的演讲稿
Good.
很好
I know I wouldn't want any part of that nonsense.
要我我肯定不想卷入这破事儿
Me either -- not very sexy.
我也不想 这事不够性感
It takes so much time and then you wouldn't
这需要花费很多时间 甚至导致你
even have a chance to ride your mini-bike.
连骑你的迷你单车的机会都没有
I don't have a mini-bike.
我没有迷你单车
Yet. But if you play ball...
还没有 但如果你能够配合...
Hey, Luke,
卢克
I need you to take the --
你得帮我去...
What are you guys doing in here?
你们在这里干什么呢
They're trying to bribe me not to run for president.
他们想贿赂我不要去竞选主席
What?
什么
Manny has been working all his life to be president,
曼尼多年来努力想当上学生会主席
and now Luke just salsas in
现在卢克大摇大摆横插一脚
and tries to take it away from him.
想夺了曼尼的主席地位
It's not fair.
这不公平
Look, this means a lot to Luke, too.
听着 这对卢克也很重要
It's given him a whole new sense of purpose.
这给他全新的目标感
I've heard enough, and I've made my decision.
我听够了 我心意已决
Manny will be president this term,
曼尼这学期当主席
and we'll run Luke next year.
明年我们再帮卢克竞选
I'm graduating.
我就要毕业了
That's the spirit!
就是这种精神
I don't like to play this card,
我不想来这一招
but I am the patriarch, and I have spoken.
但我是大家长 我发话了
Not much of a card, Dad, 'cause I don't really care.
这招行不通 老爸 因为我懒得鸟你
So, how about the two of you get going,
不如你们两个快点离开
because Luke has a speech to work on?
因为卢克要准备发言稿了
You want to go up against the Pritchett political machine?
你想跟普里契特家的政治机器对着干
So be it.
就这么着吧
- Bye, Grandpa! - Bye, kiddo!
-再见 外公 -再见 孩子
All right, Luke, we need to talk.
卢克 我们需要谈谈
Grandpa is coming for you,
外公要冲你来了
and he has run successful political campaigns before.
他可是曾成功助人赢得竞选
He got Mitchell elected class president
他在同性恋还被歧视时
before it was cool to be gay.
就让米奇尔当选班长
I've got this, Mom.
我能行的 老妈
I'm running on a gun platform.
我会在炮台上竞选
What are you talking about?
你在说什么
I'm talking about... my guns.
我在说 我这两管大炮
All right, let's look at the speech.
好了 来看看你的发言稿
I think it's pretty good.
我觉得相当好
I'm opening with a joke about how Principal Brown's kids
我开场先开布朗校长那几个孩子
look like the mailman.
看着都像邮递员的玩笑
And select all, delete.
全选 删除
Hey! I got to be me.
我必须做自己
No, you got to be less you.
不 你必须不像自己
If you want this, you got to out-Manny Manny.
如果你想赢 就要比曼尼更曼尼
Oh! Where's that suit I got you for Alex's graduation?
艾丽克斯毕业时我给你买的西服呢
That was a year ago.
都过一年了
I can't fit into that anymore,
我现在穿不上了
because of my gu--
因为我的两管大...
I know, I got it.
知道了 别说了
This was full.
这本来是满的
Sorry.
对不起
You're just gonna be disappointed.
你会失望的
Good morning, everyone.
大家早上好啊
If you're hungry, I hid some cookies behind the toaster.
如果你饿了 我在烤面包机后藏了几块饼干
I found them.
被我找到了
Oh, I was thinking about what you said yesterday,
我想了想你昨天说的话
and you were right.
你说得对
We should be able to make our own decisions, you know?
我们应该能自己做决定
Ay, all I can say is, thank you again.
我只能说 再次谢谢你
Dane Edna, say hi to your foster daddies.
戴恩·艾德娜 跟你的养父们问好
Ronaldo, what's going on?
罗纳多 这是什么情况
Oh, we're taking care of Dane Edna
我们要在罗纳多带胡娇
while Ronaldo takes Pepper to Asia for a medical procedure.
去亚洲做手术期间照顾戴恩·艾德娜
Is everything okay?
他没事
Oh, don't worry.
别担心
Between us, he's getting a monkey chin in Laos.
别说出去 他要去老挝做个下巴沟
Oh, so it's a fun month for everyone, huh?
所以这个月大家都有乐子
Mm, I'm going to miss this beautiful diva.
我会想念这个美丽天后的
Her tummy can get a little fussy,
她的胃有点挑剔
so if you're ever wondering what to cook for her,
所以如果你们不确定该给她做什么吃
知名百老汇老牌女明星
just ask yourself, "What would Patti LuPone eat?"
问问自己"帕蒂·卢波恩会吃什么"
Oh, I'm sorry. I-I didn't ask you about this,
抱歉 我没问你的意见
but it's really important to me.
但这真的对我很重要
And you said you'd support any decision I made.
你也说过会支持我的任何决定
I'm not sure what you're doing,
我不确定你在干嘛
because you're being so subtle,
因为你是如此"隐晦"
but if you think a giant, slobbery dog
但如果你觉得这个家里需要
is what this household needs, then color me gung ho.
一条流着口水的大狗 那么我绝对配合
Here are her medicines.
这是她的药
- The ones wrapped in foil don't go in the mouth. - Okay.
-箔纸包装的是从菊花塞 -好
Ah, yeah. I'm so sorry.
对了 我很抱歉
We've trained her to take carbs away from us.
我们训练她要把碳水化合物带离我们身边
I don't get it.
我无法理解
You look amazing. I love it!
你看着超棒 我爱极了
Why did you buy this for me?
你为什么给我买这身衣服
'Cause I thought you would look great up there
因为我觉得你在台上演讲时
when you give your big speech.
穿这套会很帅
I'm running for president, Mom. I'll wear a suit and tie.
我在竞选主席 老妈 我要穿西服打领带
Well, then you'll be dressed for your funeral.
那你就可以直接穿去自己的葬礼了
Kid, you got to know your audience.
孩子 你得了解你的观众
You don't think I can relate to my peers?
你不认为我能和同龄人有共鸣啊
Well, this is a fine kettle of fish.
那这下真是完了个蛋
I'm gonna say this as gently as I know how...
我会尽可能温柔地说
You're going to lose!
你会输掉
Well, I wasn't gonna yell it, but at least it's out there.
我没打算吼出来 但至少你知道了
Wait. You think I'm going to lose?
等等 你觉得我会输
But you never think I'm going to lose!
但你从未觉得我会输过
Look, you're a great kid.
听着 你是个好孩子
All we're saying is be a little more Casual Friday,
我们只是想说多点便装星期五风
a little less Ash Wednesday.
少点圣灰星期三[基督教大斋首日]风
Yeah. Go up there and be like,
是啊 走上台说些
"Yo! What's up, ballers?!"
"你们好啊 牛逼兄弟们"
"Mondays off. Like, pizza and whatever."
"星期一放假 去吃点披萨什么的"
This is feeling a little weird.
感觉有点奇怪
Trust us.
相信我们
If you really think it'll help.
你们觉得有用我就听话
Hey, write that pizza-pie thing down while it's fresh.
趁着没忘 把披萨饼的事记下来
I hope you don't mind.
希望你不介意
I decided it was fine if they played fetch in the house.
我同意他们在房子里玩取物游戏
Not at all. I support that decision.
没问题 我支持这个决定
Well, I look forward to what's about to happen.
我真期待接下来会发生什么
- Okay. - There we are.
-好吧 -取到了
- All right. - Nice.
-好了 -很好
Okay, Coach. I'll meet you at the game.
我出发了 教练 比赛见
Yes! Who's a winner?
好 谁是冠军
- I'm a winner! - Who's a winner?!
-我是冠军 -谁是冠军
I'm a winner!!
我是冠军
Oh, my...
老天
Okay. I'm gonna go first.
好吧 我先说
I was petty and vindictive,
我小心眼 故意报复
and I will find someone else to look after the dog.
我会找别人照顾这条狗
Do you have anything to say?
你有要说的吗
Thank you. I know that couldn't have been easy.
谢谢你 我知道让你说这话有多不容易
Cam, I swear to God --
小卡 我对天发誓
Okay, okay. You're right.
好好 你说的对
I should have consulted you first.
我应该先跟你商量的
I'll tell Dwight that he has to move out
今晚的比赛结束后
after the game tonight.
我会告诉德怀特他必须搬出去
Thank you.
谢谢你
Not that anybody cares, but for lunch,
虽然你们不在乎 但还是说一声
I had a lozenge.
我午饭只吃到一粒润喉糖
So, uh, how long is this going to take?
这事多久能办完
I just need to reorder some promotional Frisbees,
我只是需要再订一些宣传用的飞盘
and say a quick hi to Merv,
顺便和梅尔夫打声招呼
the genius who supplied me with coasters
这位天才在过去十多年里
and key chains for over a decade.
一直帮我做杯垫和钥匙链
He even put my face on a pillow.
他甚至还把我的脸印在枕头上呢
That story makes me want to put a pillow over my face.
这个故事让我想找个枕头来闷死自己
Can we just get this over with? I have a spray tan at 4:00.
咱速战速决行吗 我四点还得去做美黑
Spray tan! Who needs a spray tan?
美黑 谁需要做美黑
Someone in winter.
冬天没得晒太阳的人需要
That's why you put a coupon on a ice scraper.
所以美黑优惠劵就得跟冰铲配
Boom! Just sent another grandkid to Brandeis.
厉害吧 又挣够钱送我一个孙子去好大学
He shoots, he scores!
他一出手 就是正中红心
Can you believe this young man has a grandkid in college?
你能相信这位青年才俊的孙子都上大学了吗
Mm! It's all about lifestyle.
年轻与否都是由生活方式决定的
Really, I walk five miles a day,
真的 我每天健走八公里
and I've had a tremendous amount of plastic surgery.
还做过一大堆整形手术
Oh! I had a brainstorm on that property of yours
关于你那幢急于卖出去的房产
that you're trying to unload.
我脑力激荡了一番
You know, where the people -- Ckkk!
就是死过人那幢
Yeah.
是啊
You lean into it. Hmm?
你把它当成卖点
You-You call it "Massacre Manor,"
你叫它"大屠杀庄园"
"Downton Stabby,"
"唐顿墓园"
"Charles Mansion."
"杀人魔曼森[大宅]"
I mean, like, I-I got a million of them.
类似的双关梗我能想出无数个
Actually, I probably -- I have three more.
其实大概还能想出仨
See? A master.
瞧见没 大师
Aww. Merv, meet my daughter Haley.
梅尔夫 这是我女儿海莉
Nice to meet you.
很高兴见到你
Your daddy tells me
你爸告诉我
that you have come down with the Madison Avenue flu.
你被麦德逊大道[广告业]的热情感染了
I don't understand anything that's happening here.
他说的话我一个字都听不懂
I feel the same way when I watch "Empire."
我看《嘻哈帝国》时也是这种感觉
Oh! No, you don't!
不是吧你
Some mangy cat keeps sitting on the roof of my new Rolls.
有只脏猫总是坐到我新买的劳斯莱斯顶上
Merv collects cars.
梅尔夫收集名车
Not to brag, but I could do a production
不是我显摆 但我收集的车
of "12 Angry Men" starring cars.
都够拍《十二怒汉》汽车版了
No, you don't, Taffy!
不是吧你 太妃喵
What-What is he talking about?
他的话是什么意思
What's Madison Avenue flu?
感染麦德逊大道的热情是什么
Oh. I-I may have mentioned that you had a --
我好像跟他提过
a budding interest in the promotional arts,
你对宣传推广行业萌生了兴趣
and, total stroke of luck, Merv's assistant
撞大运的是 梅尔夫的助手
is very, very sick.
得了很重很重的病
Wait a minute. You think my business
等等 你觉得我的事业
is in the same universe as
和"卡尔的改车行"马桶座圈
Carl's Auto Body toilet seat covers?
是同一个宇宙里吗
Carl just opened a third location
多亏那个宝贝的福
because of that wizard.
卡尔刚刚开了第三家分店了
You got two lives left, Taffy!
你只剩两条命了 太妃喵
Is this how you want to spend them?!
你就打算这么用这两条命吗
I don't need a job. I have one.
我不需要找工作 我已经有工作了
What happened to "Team Gets It"?
你不是"懂你"战队的吗
Well, I don't gets it.
其实我不懂
Just seems like you're hanging out at clubs
看起来你只是混在舞厅里
taking pictures with a bunch of party girls.
和一群派对女拍照而已
I mean, I want to be hip,
我也想当个潮爸
but none of this makes any sense to me.
但我压根搞不懂这些是在干嘛
I just want what's best for you.
我只是希望你能得到最好的
Nice pep talk. Oh, and thanks for underestimating me.
多谢"激励" 也多谢你小看我
爆米花大亨
You know, if you were Orville Redenbacher's dad,
如果你是奥威尔·瑞登巴克的爹
海莉把他和奥维尔·莱特搞混了
we wouldn't have airplanes!
飞机永远不会被发明出来
Got ya!
打败你了
I guess they don't always land on their feet.
看来九命怪猫也不代表就能次次命大
Touchdown!
触地得分
That Dwight's something, huh?
那个德怀特真是厉害
Yeah! Well, he's fine, you know.
是啊 他还行吧
It's-It's a team sport,
这是项团体性运动
so, you know, they probably wouldn't even miss him.
他要是不在了大概都没人会想他
I just want to say
我只想说一句
- I love what you're doing. - Well, thank you.
-我很欣赏您的选择 -谢谢
I-I wear this sweater with these trousers a lot.
我都是用这种裤子来搭这件毛衣
When you're high-waisted,
当你的腰部很高
it is very difficult finding pieces that work together, so...
要找到能相衬的上下身衣裤真的很难...
Yeah, you look really nice, but what she means is
你的确看起来很时髦 但她的意思是
it's great that you're letting Dwight live with you.
您选择让德怀特住在你们家的举动很高尚
You're taking Dwight in?
你收留了德怀特吗
- That doesn't sound like you. - It's -- It's --
-听起来不像你的作风啊 -这个
He's making him move out.
他要逼他搬出去
That sounds like you.
那听起来倒像你的作风
Hey, losers.
你们好 废柴们
Thought I'd see you down at the concession stand.
我就感觉在小卖部[老人站牌]看到的是你
How long were you working on that one?
你想了多久才想到这个双关语
Is that one of the gems that you wrote into Luke's speech?
这是你给卢克写的演讲稿里的笑话吗
I will have you know that Luke wrote his own speech.
我告诉你们 卢克的演讲稿是他自己写的
He contributed.
他参与了写作
He was there. Mm.
他在场而已
What's with the suit?
你这身西装是怎么回事
Me? Why are you dressed like Nicki Minaj?
还说我 你为什么穿得跟女歌手麻辣鸡似的
My mom and Jay said it made me more relatable.
我妈和杰说这样会让我更能引起共鸣
I feel like an idiot.
我觉得自己像个白痴一样
Yeah. Me too.
是啊 我也是
My mom forced me to wear this so I'd be more like you.
我妈逼我穿成这样 好让我更像你
Yeah, because I'd wear a brown belt with black shoes?
说得好像我会用棕色皮带配黑皮鞋一样
You know what we should do?
你知道我们该怎么做吗
Throw out our speeches and speak from the heart.
弃稿 发自内心去演讲
That's a great idea.
真是个好主意
Mm. You forgot your speech, didn't you?
你忘带演讲稿了是不是
I plead the second.
我要行使第二修正案法
应该是第五修正案 即不能自证其罪
Also, uh, You should know,
另外你们该知道
they arrested two of the three perpetrators.
三个行凶者里已经有两个被抓到了
Hey, honey. What are you doing here?
宝贝 你来这做什么
Making a point.
证明自己
Oh. Hey.
你们好
Uh, I-I'm Phil Dunphy.
我是菲尔·邓菲
Feel free to ask any... questions.
有问题的话 尽管问
Sweet neck tattoo.
脖子上的纹身不错
Don't forget to sign the guest book.
别忘了在访客登记簿上签名
Aren't these your, uh -- your work friends?
这些不是你工作上的朋友吗
Yeah. Hold on a second.
没错 等一下
Hey, Arizona! Quack quack.
亚利桑那 你又撅鸭子嘴了
Sorry.
抱歉
Look, I know you don't think what I'm doing is real,
我知道你不认为我做的是正经工作
but we just posted about this terrible house
但我们刚刚才通过我们在各个平台上的账号
through all our accounts on multiple platforms,
发布了这间烂房子的出售信息
and there's already a ton of people here,
现在慕名而来的人已经一大堆了
so, uh, you're welcome.
所以说 不用谢啦
We don't really need all this stuff, but okay.
我们真不需要搞这些 但好吧
All right, everybody.
好了 各位观众
Before our marching band takes the field
在我们的仪仗队粉墨登场
with their tribute to the films of Zac Efron,
带来致敬扎克·埃夫隆系列电影的表演之前
美国男演员 曾出演众多青春与歌舞电影
let's hear from our two candidates
让我们有请两位候选人
for Student Council President.
带来他们学生会主席的竞选演讲
First up is Manny Delgado.
首先出场的是曼尼·迪尔加多
Actually, we're going to speak together.
实际上 我们打算一起完成这次演讲
Luke and I are here because we each want your votes.
卢克和我站在这里 是希望赢得你们的投票
However, certain people want to change us
然而 某些人却一心想改变我们
into being something each of us is not.
让我们变得完全不像我们自己
- They're publicly shaming us. - We deserve it.
-他们居然这样公开羞辱我们 -是我们自找的
The important thing is you two learned something.
最重要的是你们两位家长学到教训
Save it, patriarch.
省省吧 大家长
The point is, we are two individuals
我们想说的是 我们是两个
with our own unique personalties and ideas.
拥有着截然不同的个性和想法的人
What he said.
他说得没错
I won.
最后我赢了
It was the lowest voter turnout in school history.
这次创了学校历史上最低的投票记录
They hated the both of us.
选民讨厌我们俩
But you more.
不过更讨厌你一点
I got to admit, I'm really impressed that you got
我不得不承认 我确实佩服你真的带来了
all these people here, but they, um --
这么一大屋子人 不过他们...
they don't really look like house buyers.
看起来不太像会买房子的人
Dad, you have no idea who has money anymore.
爸 你完全不会看这年代的有钱人
You see that girl?
看到那个女孩了吗
She makes six figures playing video games.
她靠玩电脑游戏就能赚进六位数
And that dude, he invented an app
还有那个男的 他发明了一个应用
for trashing your friends called App Smear.
专门用来吐槽朋友 叫做最佳"损"友
Oh. Any one of these people could buy this house.
他们里面随便谁都买得起这房子
And if they do, you give us a percentage of your commission.
而如果他们买下了 我们从你的佣金中抽头
That's how we make money.
这就是我们的生财之道
You the realtor?
你是这个房子的中介吗
Indeed, I am.
正是在下
I like this place.
我挺喜欢这里的
Show me where it happened.
能指给我看看凶案发生的地方吗
Um, it's...right down this hall.
就在...这个走廊的尽头
After you.
您先请
Her dad's loaded.
她爸爸可有钱了
By the way, have you seen the price?
顺便提一下 你看过房子的价格了吗
The, uh -- The owner wasn't the only thing that's been slashed.
房东不是这里唯一被砍过的东西 还有房价
And the Dolphins win, 21-20.
海豚队获胜 21比20
All right!
厉害了
That boy is like a professional.
那个男孩就像职业选手一样
It's amazing how one kid can carry a whole team.
一个男孩就差不多带整队赢了 太厉害了
I feel like you're doing this on purpose.
我感觉你就是故意说给我听的
Excuse me, Mr. Pritchett.
打扰了 普里契特先生
Leslie Kwan Collins, Daily Dolphin.
我是莱斯丽·关·柯林斯 《每日海豚报》的记者
For heroically taking in Dwight,
因为如英雄般收留了德怀特这件事
you are this month's "Person with a Porpoise."
您被评为了本月的"海豚杰出人士"
I don't know about that...
这我不敢当...
Embrace it.
接受吧
Hey, come over here for just minute, buddy.
你跟我过来一下
Good game! Good game.
打得好 打得好
- Thanks, Coach. - Yes.
-谢谢教练 -没事
So, listen, I got something kind of rough I need to tell you.
听我说 我有一个你难以接受的事得告诉你
No, I know you and Mitchell aren't just roommates.
我知道你跟米奇尔不只是室友那么简单
I can't tell you how much I appreciate
我对你的感恩之情难以言喻
everything you're doing for me.
你为我做的一切我十分感谢
Yeah, listen, I don't know how I'm gonna tell you this.
听我说 我也不知道该怎么跟你开口
So I'm not gonna.
所以我就不说了
I just need you to do everything I tell you.
我要你接下来按我说的每句话做
Put your head on my shoulder.
把你的头靠到我肩上
That's it. Get in there.
就是这样 靠上来
Now, I need you to pretend to start crying,
然后我要你假装你开始哭了
really get those shoulders into it.
肩膀多放点感情
Yeah, that's it. That's good.
没错 这样很棒
Oh, God. Oh, God. He's telling him.
天啊 天啊 他告诉他了
- Stay strong. - Yes.
-别心软 -没错
Now I'm gonna cry. I'm sorry!
现在我要开始哭了 对不起
I'm sorry!
我对不起你
Okay, final step --
好了 最后一步
I just need you to sit down, grab your knees,
你得坐下 抱住自己膝盖
and start rocking sadly, all right?
然后边摇晃边难过 懂吗
All right, sit.
好了 坐下
Excuse me. Can I have everyone's attention, please?
打扰一下 请大家听我说几句
As you know, uh, Dwight's father was recently restationed
想必大家都知道 德怀特的父亲最近被
to Florida and it was my intention to have my family
调到佛罗里达驻扎 而我是一开始是想
have Dwight live with us, but unfortunately --
让德怀特到我家一起住 但不幸的是...
But unfortunately for our opponents,
不幸的是我们球队的对手啊
he's gonna be with us all season,
他整季都会一直在队里
because the rumors are true.
因为谣言说得没错
Dwight is going to be staying with us!
德怀特会留下来
That is the more beautiful gesture ever.
这真是最美好的善举了
Aww, thanks.
谢谢
I guess I do always come around, huh?
看来我的确到后来总是会想通啊
Yes.
是啊
Dwight, you're staying. What -- What's going on?
德怀特 你继续留下啊 怎么还难过
I don't know.
我也不知道
Coach just told me to sit on the ground and look sad.
教练让我坐下然后假装难过
Cam? Uh, let's hear it for this month's
-小卡 -让我们为本月
"Person with a Porpoise" -- Mitchell Pritchett!
"海豚杰出人士"米奇尔·普里契特欢呼
Wait. How -- How did you know about that --
等等 你怎么知道...
Did that reporter -- Oh!
那个记者是不是...
We are having a serious conversation when I get home.
等我回到家 咱们这事得认真谈谈
But I'm loving this!
但我好喜欢这感觉
So, Phil, what can I do you for?
菲尔 你有何事所求
Well, oh wise one...
明智的大师
...uh, Luke here is President of the Student Council,
卢克现在是学生会主席了
but he needs some professional help.
但他需要专业人士的一些帮助
I have a likability issue.
我不太讨人喜欢
Yeah, I saw that when you came in.
从你走进来的那一刻我就看出来了
What we need to do is promote you, okay?
我们需要做的 就是好好推销你
I see a pin, "I like Luke."
我能看到"我爱卢克"别针
I see a bracelet, "Luke is no fluke."
还有"卢克攻无不克"手环
I see a stadium cushion, "Luke has your back...side."
以及体育馆座椅靠垫"卢克在背后挺你"的画面
How do you do that?
你都怎么想出来的
How about phone cases?
那手机壳怎么样
- Phone cases? - I am so sorry.
-手机壳啊 -大师对不起
Sweetheart, this is why people don't like you.
亲爱的 这就是为什么大家不喜欢你