Oh, thank God, I smell coffee.
This morning has gotten off to a bit of a rocky...
Horror Picture Show.
What did you do to your face?
Just a little color, to make my eyes pop.
Like yours are now.
Is this how we find out you're transitioning?
Oh, please don't pick a young name.
The world doesn't need a 50-year-old Jasmine.
Trust me, this'll look completely normal on camera.
This just in -- I'm gonna be on the news.
They're doing a segment on the real-estate market,
b 316 121 316 121 316 121 b 316 121 320 121 323 121 b 323 121 323 123 323 123 b b 311 122 317 114 317 114 b 317 114 317 114 317 114 b b b 317 105 316 107 314 112 b 313 112
m 71 60 b 71 0 161 0 161 60 b 161 120 71 120 71 60
m 20 0 l 209 0 b b b 11 228 0 218 0 209 l 0 20 b 0 11 11 0 20 0
and I'm their local expert.
Back to you, Claire.
I'm still reeling from the last time you were on the news.
And while people have found all sorts of ways to beat the heat,
one local man is using his head.
Is it warm out? I hadn't noticed.
Looks like I need to re-apply.
Haley, go with him.
Make sure he gets all that stuff off his face.
I'll pack paper towels and a squeegee.
Ugh. What is wrong with me? I feel so fuzzy.
Oh, stop being so hard on yourself. It's just arm hair.
I can't figure out this crossword puzzle.
I -- I think mono turned my mind to mush.
What's the clue? Maybe I can help.
Thanks, mom. Feels good to laugh.
谢谢 妈妈 笑一下感觉挺好的
I am a well-read college graduate.
I think I'm capable of doing a crossword puzzle.
Six-letter word, Archimedes' exclamation.
I don't like you right now.
Ugh. Why can't I get this?
We may never know the answer to that clue,
but it made me realize this was my chance
to finally beat Alex at Scrabble.
I have never beaten her.
She's not the nicest winner.
I win! I win! You lose! ?
我赢了 我赢了 你输了
Win, win, win, win, win, win, win!
Lose, lose, lose, lose, lose!
-Thank you for bweakfast. -You're welcome, sweetie.
-谢谢你的造餐 -不用谢 亲爱的
Did you hear that? "Bweakfast."
It's a good thing that we're taking him to speech therapy.
I want everybody to understand every single thing he says.
Do you want marmalade on your brioche toast?
You're probably right to nip that speech problem in the bud.
Mitchell had a lisp we let slide.
Now we got a lifetime of "What if?"
That is so offensive.
A lisp doesn't make you gay.
Being gay makes you lisp.
Well, I finished the video for my Juilliard application.
I think they're going to be blown away.
Art school, huh? Well, you can always sell oranges by the side of the road.
Don't listen to him.
Go to your art school, be a playwright.
You can live here as long as you want.
* How does an artsy, well-read, child of divorce *
* 一个有艺术气质 博览群书 父母离异的孩子 *
* A Columbian dropped *
* 一个哥伦比亚人 *
* In the middle of a forgotten plot *
* 在被人遗忘的地方 *
* In suburbia with confidence and... *
* 是在郊区里 他自信满满... *
You copied that from that play "Hamilton," right?
I'm not sure "copied" is the word.
It's more of an homage.
Well, I homaged it about two weeks on "Jay Talking."
You saw that episode, right?
- Okay. - I rhymed "Rice pudding"
with "Cuba Gooding."
Both delicious, by the way.
There are thousands of "Hamilton" parodies,
and half of them are college applications.
It's okay, Papi. Maybe the people in New York
没事 孩子 也许有纽约人
haven't heard about "Hamilton."
The deadline for early admission is tomorrow.
I'll never come up with something great by then.
Yes, you will, and I'll help.
You'd do that for me?
Anything for you, kid.
I got to get this kid out of the house.
All his crazy quirks.
The farther away, the better.
I keep leaving brochures around for schools at sea.
All right, carb up, buddy.
好了 孩子 补充碳水化合物
Tackle these pancakes
like it's fourth and goal on the one-yard line.
Life's more fun when you put stuff in football terms.
Oh, uh, we're actually out of those.
You can have the rest.
No, no! We put some performance supplements in there
that could mess with you as a lady.
What else is there?
Well, I'm going to the store later.
In the meantime, you can have some fruit.
That's real? I thought it was just for show.
My star player Dwight has been living with us
ever since his father was transferred to an army base in Florida.
He's doing his part for our country,
so I thought I could do my part for our team.
Who's to say who the bigger hero is.
I've had to wake up a half hour earlier to use the bathroom --
The soldier is the hero.
Ugh. What are we gonna do?
Oh, sweetie, I know.
- Ready to go? - Yes! Yes!
Dwight and I are going shopping.
He's gonna help me pick out some cool new kicks.
Like Richard Gere taking Julia Roberts to the store.
That is right. We watched "Pretty Woman" last night.
I guess that would've been my window to eat something.
Okay, hold still. You have very deep-set eyes.
好吧 别动 你的眼窝非常深
In college, they called my "The Raccoon".
Although, that could've been because I climbed in
through the doggy door at Zeta house and stole a pie.
Honey, you could do this for a living.
I have thought about it.
I've been practicing on people since Luke was 3.
You're not gonna believe who's behind you.
- Rainer Shine! - Who?
The weatherman. Don't you watch the news?
Yeah, at the gas station.
He's coming this way. Just...
There's a stipulation in my contract --
I have to be the best-looking guy here.
It's, just, s-so nice to meet you.
That isn't your real name, is it?
Ow, I'm not letting you behind that curtain.
That's my name, and these are my teeth.
My name's Phil Dunphy.
I'm doing a little real-estate segment.
Could become a regular thing.
This is my make-up artist/daughter, Haley Dunphy.
It is a pleasure. You know, I think
you sold my neighbor's house -- Doris Jacobs.
Uh, white, mid-century, big back porch?
白[人] 上世纪中[年]建成 "后庭"很大的吗
I need to wash my hands. Where's the restroom?
Oh, of course. You're gonna want to
go down that hallway, push through the big double doors.
You're gonna see some air vents on the way there.
It's just past that cold-air system.
It tends to get a little chilly in that neck of the woods.
Nice shooting the breeze with you, Phil.
You too. Hey, uh, listen.
This might be kind weird,
but would you ever want to grab a beer?
Sure. Sounds like fun.
Here you go. Oh! C-- call me three times.
Just call me once. Tonight -- if you're around.
I'll see if I can squeeze you into my 10-day outlook.
Do meet your heroes.
What have you got?
What says to Juilliard, "I'm your guy"?
I look straight into the camera and say,
"Moliee, Beckett, Delgado."
"莫里哀 贝克特 迪尔加多"
Yes, it's bold to include my own name,
but so is the sheer act of putting pen to paper.
You're kidding, right?
Why? What's wrong?
It's smug and privileged and precious.
No art school's gonna want that.
Okay. How about this?
We open on a blank sheet of paper.
Under a Mozart fugue, we suddenly see a drop of blood.
Is it the admissions committee slitting their wrists?
The year is 18--
No! You're on the wrong track here.
They're gonna get a million applications
from artsy little snots.
You've got to stand out.
When everybody else zigs, you've got to zoink.
Isn't it "Zag"?
- Hi. - We're back.
I don't know what this is, but I love it.
There's mud out front, so Dwight insisted.
Apparently, they're not cool after you get them dirty.
Last night, we also watch "An Officer and a Gentleman."
Yeah, he lift me up where I belong.
- Okay. -Knock, knock!
Yeah. Hi, Ms. Pasternack.
I got to go meet some friends.
- I'll see you guys later? - Okay. Be careful, Dwight.
-一会儿见 -好的 慢走 德怀特
Here. I brought by some more liquor bottles
for Lily's project.
Wha-- wh -- what project?
I don't know. I caught her going through my garbage,
and she said she needed liquor bottles.
Anyway, tell her I'll have a couple more for her tomorrow.
Okay. Bye-bye. Take care.
好 拜拜 保重哦
She can't baby sit anymore.
We've got a problem here.
Look what I found under Dwight's bed.
Yeah, it's too bad.
He brought such a great energy to the house.
I just need a minute to process this.
But the bottom line, Karen, is, your viewers should work with
a realtor they can trust.
Someone they can look in the eye.
I'm confused. You wanted me to see that?
Well, someone there said I was a real natural.
I can't remember who it was.
Oh, that's right -- Rainer Shine.
The cheesy weatherman?
No, the award-winning meteorologist.
He's the recipient of back-to-back Golden Showers.
That cannot be the actual name --
It's their Oscars.
Anyway, I gave him my number.
We're grabbing drinks tonight.
- No big deal. - I agree.
Please. We both know it's a super big deal.
I am happy that you have a new friend.
Be good to have some guy time.
I have, like, three D's.
双方抽出随机字母牌若干 在板上拼出单词使用冷门字母 或拼出长字会有较高分数
Well, it's better than any report card
you ever brought home.
What are you guys doing?
Ugh. I see where he gets it from.
Wake me when it's my turn.
I thought I could finally beat her because she's sick.
还以为我能趁他病 要她命 赢她一把
I just want her to lose so bad.
Are we really doing this?
That smug sister of yours needs to be taken down a peg.
Okay, Joe, repeat after me.
好了 乔 跟我读
Red rover, red rover, red rover.
红色海盗船 红色海盗船 红色海盗船
Wed wovah, wed wovah, wed wovah.
王色歪盗床 王色歪盗床 王色歪盗床
Okay, now I want you to try it
with a big smile on your face.
Red rover, red rover, red rover.
红色海盗船 红色海盗船 红色海盗船
I am sorry. It's just sometimes I feel
like my accent gets a little
and it's gonna rub off on Fulgencio Joseph.
Well, you shouldn't blame yourself,
if that's what you just said.
I actually have some exercises that can help you.
Like Betty bought a bit of butter,
but found the butter bitter.
Betty bought a bit 'a bootie,
but da bootie bittah.
This is a pretty bad neighborhood, Jay.
This is the story that we're telling --
scrappy young kid, born into poverty
with the deck stacked against him.
I have a calligraphy tutor.
Hop out. I want to start shooting.
Hey, you're staying in car?
I'm gonna drive alongside and film you.
Go ahead. It's perfectly safe.
Hey. Did you just lock the door?
The car does that automatically.
Here. Try on this hair net.
Isn't this a little over the top?
Was "Stand and Deliver" over the top?
Fine, then act angry, like you're sick of
taking orders from the white man.
Yeah, that I can do.
Walk along that wall, read from your script.
"Welcome to the streets I call home.
It's tough out here, so I've had to be tougher.
Because in a place where violence is currency
and pain is your best friend..."
Okay, this is embarrassing. Please don't shoot this.
You're doing good!
Hey, pretend like you're climbing over the wall,
in case we want to say this is Mexico.
Here's some spray-paint.
Bubble letter me something about gringos.
Oh, I wonder who that could be.
Is there a problem?
I'm here to arrest Dwight Bullock
for underage drinking.
We wanted to give Lily a chance to come clean on her own.
Luckily, we have a friend of a friend
who dresses as a cop for work.
He also undresses as a cop for work.
Remember, just act upset, okay?
记住 装作很难过就好了 知道吗
I have to arrest you.
You've been a bad boy.
But I didn't do it!
I don't know how that bottle got under the bed!
Now we're gonna take it down a notch.
Hold out your wrists.
I've got to take you downtown.
Dwight, I am very disappointed in you.
There's no more football.
Lily, is there anything you'd like to say to Dwight
before he's taken to jail.
Martha Stewart said she used the prison time
to work on herself.
That is enough! W-w-we know
you put the bottle under Dwight's bed.
You owe him an apology this minute.
He eats everything, he's always in the bathroom,
you're watching movies with him, shopping with him.
And you two don't even love me anymore!
- Lily! - That is not --
Do you have the keys to these?
I usually let the person who hired me find it in my pants.
Well, if that is the custom, I --
Oh, my God. Again?
Small bladder, big brain.
That's why we're tied.
I need a "T," An "L," And a "W."
Hopefully she's too sleepy to notice that she got
three "W"s on her board.
Also, can I take a pee?
Yeah. Coming right up.
I texted Rainer, like, three hours ago.
He hasn't responded.
I'm sure he's just playing hard to get.
It's just weird. We had such a great time last night.
He's a weatherman in southern California.
He has to be ready in case
temperatures plunge below 70 degrees.
For your information, there is a wind advisory tonight.
In fact, I'm gonna go take down my chimes.
No. I sold a house.
He's probably just having dinner.
He could be on a date.
Apparently, he's quite the player.
Makes sense. That could charm the pants off --
What is happening? Why are you kissing him?!
He dropped some serious cash at dinner,
so I figured, what the hell?
And you. How could you do this?
Do what? Actually, I'm -- I'm taking it
kind of slow because she's your daughter.
Yeah, she is, and she's half your age.
对 她是我女儿 但你也能当她爸了
Oh, come on. Now, listen. Hi. Claire.
好了 听我说一句 你好我是克莱尔
Rainer, come in. We'll just talk this out.
雷纳 请进 我们把话谈开
I would like that because I -- I don't quite understand --
What friendship means?
Look, Phil, I -- I want to figure this out,
but right now, I have to get to Chavez Ridge
and cover this wind event.
You're being ridiculous.
You really want to leave things like that?
we're getting our weather from Tricia Tazaki!
Fred fed Ted bread.
Ted fed Fred bread.
What am I looking at?
Joe's doctor gave me some sp-heech exer-cises
to help me speak more clear-ely.
The problem is I fee-ear I have forgotten how I used to talk.
Well, if it's any consolation, this isn't any worse.
Manny! Check this out.
I think I took a stab at finishing your video essay.
In a world divided into the haves and have-nots,
It's tough out here, so I've had to be tougher.
On the streets, you can't trust anyone.
Even your closest compadre could turn on you.
Every day was a battle for your s--
I can't send this to Juilliard.
That's right, Manny.
Do not change who you are or you will lo-o-ose
what makes you spe-cial.
Am I still do-ing it?
They're not all lies.
I hear you the stories you two tell about
the neighborhoods you lived in,
growing up on the passenger seat of a cab.
Sure, I put in what we professionals call "sizzle,"
but this is a part of who you are.
And it's a lot easier to root for
than a kid who insists that 72% of his chocolate is cocoa.
I beliee-eve that is hiiis point.
How about I ask the questions.
When did you two set up this little rendezvous?
While I was killing it on the air?
He called me today.
How'd he get your number?
He said you gave it to him.
That lying sack --
Anyway, I dated my makeup girl for a while,
but, uh, then she had to leave town.
Oh. Wow. Well, if -- if it's not crossing a line,
can I give you my daughter Haley's number?
-Really? -Yeah, she's available,
-真的吗 -真的 她现在正空窗
and she actually expressed some interest.
Well, I'm definitely interested.
Well, then let's make this happen.
Phil Denphy, you are the best!
I thought it was about a makeup job.
He's a great guy.
Claire, I'm going out!
Admit it, it's over.
I'm head by 50 points and you have two tiles left.
There's got to be something!
I -- ugh -- Why can't I see it?!
Six months ago, I was at Caltech, and now -- ugh -- work.
What if it's more than that?
What if mono permanently changed my brain?
I've always defined myself by my intelligence,
and if that's gone, who am I?
Luke and I messed with the tiles.
What?! Yeah, it's just that,
you're the smartest one in the family,
and you always rub it in,
and it doesn't make us feel good.
I feel terrible that I've been making you guys feel this way.
Thank you for opening up to me about it.
Otherwise, I never would have known that you cheated,
I win, you lose! I win! You lose! I win! You lose!
If you want to shave off her eyebrows, I'm cool with that.
Lily, honey, what're you doing?
Okay. Her first ice out.
All right, all right, come on.
What you did to Dwight was wrong, okay?
We're very disappointed in you.
Yes, and there's gonna be consequences.
No electronics for a week.
That'll be worse for you than for me.
Okay, that hurts.
That being said, we could've handled things
a little bit better.
We should've talked to you
before having Dwight move in.
You mean I could have stopped it?
Well, no, but at least we would've know how you felt,
and we could've made things easier for you.
Sweetie, look, I, of all people, know what it feels like
to go from being the center of attention --
I went through it with my parents back on the farm,
when they brought home a seven-pound
little pink bundle of joy and said,
"You're gonna share your room --"
We all know it's gonna be a pig.
Anyway, he would snore...
Okay, I'm sorry I lied.
You have to apologize to Dwight, too.
I'll try to catch him in between bites.
Hey, I have an idea.
Let's think of something we can all do together, okay?
Just the four of us.
Anything you want.
Three years ago, they gave me an "Absolutely anything,"
and I wasted it on a Popsicle.
That was not gonna happen again.
Well, now, this is a lovely party.
It's a splendid afternoon.
No thanks. My cup is still full.
不了 谢谢 我杯里还满着
But I didn't drink it all.
Just take the tea.
Anyway, after the lightening strike,
I had the perm for, like, two years.
What are you doing here?
You're not one of those storm chasers, are you?
Not since the movie "Twister" exposed how cutthroat it is.
I came here to apologize.
Oh, you don't have to do that.
I was confused, and I said a bunch of stuff
that you didn't deserve.
It did hit me, right around the mid-section.
Listen, Haley's old enough to make her own decisions.
I really like her, but if dating her is gonna be a problem...
I don't love the 25-year age difference.
It's actually 20...
Le-- I would just hate to think
that dating her meant that you and I
still couldn't be, you know friends.
You still want to be friends?
Phil, I know a million people,
but I really don't have a lot of real friends.
Not even the sports guy?
You guys are always laughing so crazy hard
out of the commercials.
Chip Fielder? No. That's all fake.
Fake as Tricia Tazaki's shelter dogs!
Look, maybe you should go.
I'm not going anywhere!
I'm going live in a second. You're in my shot.
Oh. I get it. Call me.
That's right, Steve, but you're gonna want
没错 史蒂夫 但你今晚
to leave your kites at home tonight.
My wind-erful forecast right after this.
My name is Manny Delgado,
and I'm two people.
I'm the child of an immigrant single mother,
who taught me to believe in myself and dream big.
I'm also the step-son of a businessman
who opened his home and his heart to me
and showed me, by example,
how to make those dreams come true.
Whatever I am, whatever I have to give,
is a product of these two very different worlds.
It was so sweet that Jay cried a little bit.
And it's gonna be weird around here without him,
but at least I'll always have my special girl.
And you'd never leave me, would you, baby? Mm!
你永远不会离开我 对吧 小宝贝
I just want you to know
I'm really okay with you dating Rainer.
Yeah, he's got a really nice house --
Jacuzzi tub in his bathroom.
Don't love it you know that.
Hey, he mentioned this hair spray
that's just oil and a little sea salt.
Oh, that's more for conditioning that hold.
Okay, wow, that was a close one.
It is really great that they having you back on the news.
No no, I just giving a new drive licence's photo.