摩登家庭 第九季 Modern Family Season 9 第12集: Dear Beloved Family

上映日期: 2,017

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 詹姆斯·R·巴格多纳斯

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·


台词
超棒的赛季 野马队
Phil, thank you so much for helping,
菲尔 非常感谢你来帮忙
especially after Jay was so rude to you last night.
尤其是在昨天晚上杰对你那么无礼后
I wanted to start a new family tradition.
我想开始一项新的家庭传统
In a way, I succeeded --
某种程度上来说 我成功了
原创翻译 双语字幕
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we now have Phil Un-appreciation Day.
现在我们有了不喜欢菲尔日
Hear ye, hear ye!
请听啊 请听啊
翻译: 洗七里 斑驳
Nope.
别这样
I hereby declare the opening
我宣布首届
of the first annual Dunphy Games.
年度邓菲运动会开始
翻译: 亲爱的小饭 冰蓝
Hard pass.
坚决不要
Tests of strength, games of chance --
力量的考验 运气的测试
校对: 赛太公财源广进 YY猫身体健康
with the champion receiving the coveted Dunphy chalice
冠军将获得大家梦寐以求的邓菲圣杯
and this gift card to Yogurtland.
和这张酸奶乐园的礼品券
时间轴: 三水
Phil, it's not going to happen.
菲尔 没人要玩啦
Your dissent has been noted, town elder,
你的反对我已经听到了 大长老
后期: 瓜瓜 总监: 怀念浓子的瓜瓜
but perhaps those who've seen fewer winters
但也许应该让年轻的人们
should cast a vote.
来投一票
打开微信 扫描左侧二维码或搜索公众号: 美剧炸了了解最新影视资讯字幕信息
Who dares accept the challenge of a noodle-joust?
谁敢接受面条比武的挑战
No sale, Dad.
没人买账 老爸
Oh, well. Nice try, Son.
好吧 你尽力了 儿子
I'll probably just drive back to Florida, then.
我还是开车原路返回佛罗里达吧
Great to see you guys.
很高兴见到各位
家 庭
摩 登
第九季 第十二集
I just thought with everyone growing up,
我就是觉得每个人都长大了
a new tradition might give us another excuse
一项新传统也许能给我们一个
to get together every year.
每年聚一次的理由
Oh, baby, we can get together today
亲爱的 我们今天就可以聚在一起
for Joe's soccer-team party.
去参加乔的足球队派对啊
We have superheroes coming.
有超级英雄要来
We have the Superman, the X-Men.
有超人 X战警
That's what Jay called my dad and me. Ex-men.
杰就这么叫我和我爸 傻X战警[前男人]
Ohh! That hurts!
好疼
- Why, what happened? - ?Oh, it's nothing.
-怎么了 怎么回事 -没事
It's probably just my stilter's hip flaring up.
可能是我踩高跷伤的屁股又犯了
No, it's not.
不 好像不是
Oh, you don't look that good.
你看起来不太好啊
Do you have a fever?
你发烧了吗
I don't know. I can't tell.
不知道 我感觉不出来
Ay, no, you're burning up!
糟糕 你在烧呢
Hi, I ordered your Ultra-Soft Gel-Heel Socks,
您好 我订了你们的超软胶底袜子
and they are both marked "L."
两只袜子都标着"L"
And "L" is for --
"L"是指左...[left]
"L" is for large. Hilarious.
'L'指的是大[large]啊 好好笑
I'm thinking I've been wearing two left socks.
我以为我穿着两只左脚的袜子呢
I am adorable.
我好可爱
Can you hang on a second?
能稍等我一下吗
- Hello? - Claire, everything is okay,
-你好 -克莱尔 一切都好
but I am taking Phil to the hospital.
但我现在在带菲尔去医院
He's dead!
他死了
I was just resting my eyes!
我只是在闭目养神啦
- Oh, God! What happened?! - It's okay, honey.
-天啊 怎么了 -没事的 亲爱的
I just have a little bit of stomach pain.
我就是有点胃疼
Hang in there, sweetie. I'll -- I'm -- I'm -- I'm coming.
坚持住 亲爱的 我我我 我这就过去
I'll be -- I'll be -- I'll be there.
我 我马上 我马上过去
Really, Schwartzy?
你不是吧 兄弟
Calling me while I'm putting?
我要推杆的时候给我打电话
It's bush-league moves like that why your wife left you,
就是这种下三滥的手段 你老婆才会抛弃你
why we still play poker and never invite you, why we --
我们才会打扑克却从不邀请你 我们才...
Oh, it's Gloria.
是歌洛莉亚
Jay, pick up Joe and meet me at the hospital!
杰 去接乔 然后到医院找我
What happened? Is it Stella?!
怎么了 是斯黛拉出事了吗
No, it's Phil!
不是 是菲尔
Wait a minute, I'm -- I'm getting another call.
等下 我接另一个电话
- Dad-- ?- I heard.
-老爸 -我听说了
Okay, Haley and Luke are working at the club.
好了 海莉和卢克在你那个俱乐部上班
Can you grab them and meet me at the hospital?
你能带上他俩 然后到医院找我吗
Sure thing. Sorry, guys.
当然 抱歉 各位
Emergency, I gotta take the cart.
情况紧急 我要把车开走了
- What?! - ?The clubhouse is 50 yards away.
-什么 -俱乐部会所离这里45米呢
Walk the first 25, make camp,
先走23米 然后扎营休息
and then tackle the rest in the morning.
明天早上再走完剩下的
Forget about Joe, I'll have Mitch and Cam bring him.
别管乔了 我让米奇和小卡去带他
Phil, how's the pain? On a scale of one to --
菲尔 多疼啊 打分1到...
Bo Derek!
宝·德里克[曾主演电影《10》]
10. Got it.
10 我知道了
Boy, they did not get that score wrong, huh?
那分数倒是一点都没错啊
Good.
很好
Okay, it's good, but is it wow?
好吧 是很好 但好到让人惊艳吗
We're inviting eight people over for brunch
我们只是要请八个人来吃早午餐
with an invitation that reads, "Friends, Romans, Hungreymen" --
邀请信上写了"朋友 罗马人 饥饿的人"
they're gonna say wow.
他们会被惊艳到的
Hey, Gloria.
歌洛莉亚
I am taking Phil to the hospital!
我在送菲尔去医院
What? They're taking Phil to the hospital.
什么 他们在送菲尔去医院
It's just a stomach issue.
只是胃不舒服
Please pick up Joe at soccer and meet us over there.
麻烦你们去足球队接乔 然后到那边找我们
Of course. Oh, but what about Lily?
当然 那莉莉怎么办
What is that? A harp?
那是什么 竖琴声吗
No! Dios mío, no!
不 天啊 不
The angels are coming down.
天使要下凡了
You cannot have him yet!
你们还不能带走他
Hello?
你好
Haley, would you mind picking up Lily from City Kidz gym?
海莉 你能去城市孩童体育馆接一下莉莉吗
I don't have a car.
我没车
Alex said she's on a date, but she can grab Lily.
艾丽克斯说她在约会 但是她可以去接莉莉
Oh, crap. We don't have time for this valet stuff.
糟糕 我们没时间等人去取车了
I'm going rogue.
我不管了
Luke, this thing's not fast enough.
卢克 这玩意儿太慢了
Grab a nine-iron, try to hook a bumper.
抓一支9号铁杆 看能不能勾到别人保险杠上
Hey, Uncle Mitchell, I'm kinda busy right now.
米奇尔舅舅 我现在有点忙
He is? I'm on my way.
是吗 我马上过去
Sorry, boys, gotta cut it short today.
抱歉 孩子们 今天不能多待了
Hurry, hurry! Take him!
快点快点 快带他进去
If Phil dies, would Claire get a new husband?
如果菲尔死了 克莱尔会再找一个老公吗
Okay, he's not gonna die, bud.
他不会死的 小家伙
But to answer your question, yes, probably.
但回答你的问题 是的 应该会
You have to move on with life.
生活还得继续
Wait for us.
等等我们
Comin' in hot! Comin' in hot!
快让开 快让开
You're just gonna park that right there?
你们就停在这里吗
I did the closets for head of surgery here.
我给这里的外科主任做过衣柜
I'm untouchable.
没人敢动我
Phil, honey, how are you?
菲尔 亲爱的 你还好吗
Oh, back in the hospital. ?Oh.
又回医院了
But better because of Elsie and her friend IV.
但好多了 因为有艾尔希和她的朋友"静滴"
If it's okay, I invited IV to come live with us.
如果可以的话 我想请"静滴"来我们家住
Well, I brought you something
我给你带了点东西
that's gonna make you feel so much better.
会让你感觉好很多
Oh, Surgery Bear.
手术熊
Our first year dating, we went to a carnival.
我们约会的第一年 一起去了一个园游会
At the milk-can toss,
在玩投掷牛奶罐的游戏时
there was a bear that Claire really liked.
有一只克莱尔非常喜欢的熊
I spent all night trying to win it, but I just couldn't.
我花了一晚上想要赢下来 但就是不行
Came back the next night and the carnival had left town.
隔天晚上又去时 园游会去下个城市了
离菲尔剧中家的所在地距离约350公里
So, I drove to Fresno, failed again.
所以我开车去到夫勒斯诺市 又失败了
离菲尔剧中家的所在地距离约618公里
Sacramento, no dice.
萨克拉门托 还是不行
Six weeks later, in Carson City, Nevada, it happened.
六周后 在内华达卡森城 总算赢下来了
离菲尔剧中家的所在地距离约700公里
Yeah.
是啊
When I handed it to her and saw the smile on her face,
我给她的时候 看到了她脸上的笑容
I proposed to her on the spot.
我当即向她求婚
Anyhoo, it's come with me
总之 从那之后
to every visit in the hospital since for good luck.
我每次住院这只熊都会陪伴我 来祈求好运
And I was so worried about forgetting it
我好担心我给忘了
that guess what I did?
所以你猜我做了什么
Remembered it?
你带上了吗
Well, I brought you your nice, comfy neck pillow,
我给你带了非常舒服的护颈枕
and I'm gonna run right home and get you Surgery Bear, okay?
然后我马上回家给你拿手术熊好吗
- Okay. ?- Okay.
-好的 -好
- Dad! ?- Hi. Oh, honey.
-老爸 -对了 亲爱的
- Yeah? ?- Just in case,
-怎么了 -为防有三长两短
I made one of my goodbye videos for you and the kids.
我给你和孩子们做了一支告别视频
I posted it in the usual spot.
我发在老地方了
- Okay. ?- Goodbye videos?
-好了 -告别视频
It's nothing, don't worry about it.
没什么 别担心
I'll be right back. I'll be right back.
我马上就回来
- Hey, Phil. ?- Hi.
-好啊 菲尔 -嗨
How you feeling?
你感觉怎么样
Did you tell them about the long pants?
你跟他们说长裤的事了吗
Oh, yeah, they had to cut me out of them
对 他们得把我的长裤剪掉
when th-- when they got tangled up
因为裤子缠上了
in the spokes of the wheelchair!
轮椅的辐条
Well, they gave him the good stuff.
医院给了他上好的麻醉药啊
Well, glad you got to wish him well.
很高兴你们赶上了祝他好运
We have to get this guy prepped for his gallbladder surgery.
我们得让他准备接受胆囊手术了
That means they're gonna shave me.
意思是要给我刮毛了
Should we be worried that those could be his last words?
我们要担心这句话是他的最后遗言吗
I got this. Phil, we love you.
我来处理 菲尔 我们爱你
I love you, too.
我也爱你
They're gonna shave me.
他们要给我刮毛了
Well, we tried.
我们尽力了
So you're sure Phil's gonna be okay?
你确定菲尔会没事吗
Absolutely, Pappy. Phil is not gonna die in a long, long time.
肯定没事 宝贝 离菲尔去世还早着呢
Am I going to die?
我会死吗
Well, Joe, it's a natural thing that we --
乔 这是件自然的事
Bup, bup, bup.
停停停
This is not a topic you tend to handle gently.
你似乎不会温和处理这个话题
It's not your fault,
也不怪你
but many people in your orbit met with ugly ends.
你生活中的许多人都不得善终
I'll handle this.
我来处理吧
Fine. I have to pick up the party cake.
好吧 我得去拿派对蛋糕
It's shaped like a soccer ball.
一个足球形状的球
You sure that won't scare them?
你确定那不会吓到他们吗
'Cause the only thing I've seen them do
因为我只见过他们
with a soccer ball is run from it.
飞奔躲开足球
Look, kid, that's a deep question,
听着 孩子 这是个深奥的问题
"Will I die some day?"
"我有天会死吗"
And I'm gonna be straight with you about it -- no.
我要直接告诉你答案 不会
Never?
永远不会吗
A few years back, people would live to be around 12.
过去 人们大概只能活到12岁
Nowadays, what with all the science they're doing,
现在 依靠科技的力量
sky's the limit.
寿命无极限
You play your cards right, and someday you'll be 200,
你应对得当 有天你就会活到200岁
and if you learn anything from your old man,
如果你从你老爸这里学到了东西
you'll have a gorgeous 100-year-old bride on your arm.
你会挽着一个100岁的美女新娘
Uh, there will be some squawking from women in their 180s,
女人到了180多岁 会开始爱发牢骚
but, uh, you're a successful man
但你是个成功人士
and you've earned your happiness.
你的努力换得了幸福
What is a gallbladder?
胆囊到底是什么
Yeah, and what's up with these organs you don't even need?
是啊 这些你都不需要的器官是怎么回事
You can lose a gallbladder, an appendix,
你可以切掉胆囊 阑尾
and everything's fine.
啥事都没有
Yeah, kind of like husbands.
是啊 就像是丈夫
You lose one, you just get another.
失去一个 就再找一个
That is what you said earlier.
你早些时候是这样说的
Oh, how did I know that was gonna boomerang back on me?
我怎么会料到我会引火上身的呢
I didn't bring it up to attack you.
我提起这事不是为了攻击你
I just wondered...
我只是想知道
have you ever thought about who you'd end up with
如果我提前归西 你想过
if, you know, my show closes early?
你要跟谁在一起吗
I would give my right gallbladder
我宁愿放弃我的右"胆"囊
not to answer this question.
都不要回答这问题
Come on, it'll be a fun game.
拜托 这是个有趣的游戏
Don't you want to know who I'm thinking about?
你不想知道我心里想的是谁吗
I guess.
有点想
Okay, well, then, let's just say a name on three.
好吧 那就数到三一起说名字
- Cam. - No, come on.
-小卡 -拜托
I think you'll be surprised by my choice.
我觉得我的选择会让你惊讶
You ready?
准备好了吗
One, two, three...
一二三
- Caleb. - You're my everything.
-凯莱布 -你是我的一切
- Y-You -- You tricked me. - Okay, who's Caleb?
-你诈我 -凯莱布是谁
You -- You met him. At -- At Jotham's party.
你见过他 在乔撒姆的派对上
The -- The massage therapist.
那个按摩师
Well, I guess he rubbed you the right way.
看来他按摩按到了你心坎儿里
Cam, oh, come on.
小卡 拜托
I only said a name because you pressured me to.
我说了名字只是因为你逼我说
I've had like two conversations with him.
我就跟他聊过两次天
Look, I-I only picked him because he reminds me of you.
我选他只是因为他让我想到了你
So sweet and open and such a good balance for me.
贴心 坦率 跟我很互补
I-I thought he might be, too.
我觉得他可能也是
Well, then, that's lovely.
真有爱
Oh, thank God. I cut the right wire.
谢天谢地 我剪了正确的线[炸弹]
Okay, what is a gallbladder?
胆囊是什么
The gallbladder is
胆囊是
"A 4-inch pear-shaped organ that stores bile."
"储存胆汁的4英寸梨形器官"
Like -- Like a little bile cabinet.
像是胆汁橱柜
That's why people want us around.
这就是为什么大家喜欢有我们陪伴
Uh, Caleb.
凯莱布
Hey, Mitchell.
米奇尔
Thanks for coming on such short notice.
谢谢你这么快就赶来了
You can set your table up, uh, down in the TV area.
你可以在电视那边支按摩床
Sounds good. ?You got it.
好 没问题
What's going on?
怎么回事
Uh, would you stop being so suspicious?
你能别这么疑神疑鬼吗
You said you neck hurt from posing for our photograph...
你说拍照摆姿势把你的脖子弄疼了
...so I invited Caleb over to ply his trade.
于是我邀请了凯莱布过来做他的工作
I do not think he's here to ply.
我觉得他不是来工作的
I think he's here so you can pry.
而是方便你"窥探工作"的
Dad's gonna be fine.
爸爸会没事的
Since we're on the subject, at my funeral,
既然聊到这事 在我的葬礼上
make sure the pallbearers say things like,
记得让抬棺人说这些话
"Wow, she's so light,"
"她真轻"
and things like, "Is she even in here?"
"她是不是没被装在棺材里啊"
I don't want to be buried. I'm donating my body to science.
我不想被埋葬 我要为科学捐献身躯
- Haven't you already? - I'm putting kettle bells in your coffin.
-你已经算捐了吧 -我要在你棺材里放壶铃增重
And make sure my cadaver goes to an Ivy League.
还得确保我的尸体被捐去常春藤联盟大学
I don't want some hungover freshman from Swarthmore
我可不想让史瓦兹摩尔学院的宿醉新生
getting his hands all over me.
对我上下其手
Mm. It's not so bad.
也没那么糟糕啊
I'm never gonna die.
我不会死的
Science is gonna find a cure for everything.
随着科学的发展 一切都有治愈办法
Grandpa told me that.
外公跟我说的
Quick, kids, hey, listen, Surgery Bear is not upstairs.
快 孩子们 听着 手术熊不在楼上
Any ideas?
知道在哪吗
Oh, right, Dad gave it to Joe
对了 爸爸把手术熊给乔了
when he got his tonsils taken out.
那时候他切除了扁桃体
You could've told me that
你可以在我翻卢克的抽屉之前
before I looked through Luke's drawers.
告诉我的
- Which drawer?! - We'll get into that later.
-哪个抽屉 -我们回头聊这事
Come on!
不是吧
Damn it.
该死
Hey, honey, did you find Surgery Bear?
亲爱的 你找到手术熊了吗
Uh... yeah, sure did.
当然
He's -- He's right here with his beautiful blue eyes.
它就在这 睁着美丽的蓝色眼睛
I always considered them hazel,
我一直以为那是淡褐色的
but who could tell underneath those sunglasses?
但它戴着墨镜 谁知道啊
Sunglasses. Right.
墨镜 好吧
Why don't you tell me what your favorite thing is
不如你跟我说说你最喜欢
about Surgery Bear?
手术熊的哪点吧
Well, as you know, he's the polar...
你知道 他正好跟我是北极...
...opposite of me.
与南极般的相反
I mean, I hate surfing.
我讨厌冲浪
But it makes sense that a fireman would love it.
但是消防员喜欢冲浪也合情合理
Yes, of course.
当然了
In my mind, he's a volunteer fireman during the summer
在我心里 他在夏天会去当志愿消防员
because professors have those off.
因为教授的假期很长
Professors have -- Yes.
教授可以...对
Oh, gotta run, honey.
得挂了 亲爱的
Elsie's here to give me another shot for the pain.
艾尔希要再给我打一针麻醉了
Don't be stingy, Elsie.
别省药 艾尔希
Last time, it took forever to fee...
上次我等了好久才...
Oh, thank God you're here.
谢天谢地你在
Which one of these is Surgery Bear?
哪一只是手术熊啊
Neither one.
都不是
I gave him to Manny when he went to college.
曼尼上大学时我送给了他
Was that Claire?
那是克莱尔吗
I don't know, but we've given out too many keys.
不知道 但我们家钥匙给太多人了
Look out below!
下面的人小心
What are you doing there?! You're gonna kill yourself!
你在干什么 你会害死自己的
No, I won't.
不 我不会的
Dad said I'm gonna live forever.
爸爸说我可以永生
Come down here.
下来
Is that what you told him? Are you crazy?
你就这么告诉他的吗 你疯了吧
I didn't want to steal the kid's innocence.
我不想破坏孩子的天真
Joe, I know what your father said,
乔 我知道你爸是这么说的
but forget it.
但忘了吧
You can die from that.
你这样是会死的
Really?
真的吗
Yes. People die all the time.
真的 人常因为各式各样的原因而死
That's why you have to be careful.
这就是为什么你得小心
Everyone dies.
每个人都会死
You can choke
你可能会噎死
or something very heavy can fall on top of your head.
或者重物会砸在你头上
One time, I heard there was a little kid that exploded.
有次我听说有个小孩爆炸了
The nuns said that it was because of unclean thoughts.
修女说是因为他有肮脏的想法
Do you get all this?
你明白了吗
Yes, Mommy.
明白 妈妈
Those are your friends. Go welcome them.
你的朋友们来了 去欢迎人家吧
Hi, Joe. I brought cupcakes.
乔 我带了小蛋糕
What's the point?
还有什么意义啊
- You okay with the pressure? ?- If you looked under this table,
-轻重如何 -如果你在桌子底下看
you'll see I'm drooling like a trumpeter.
你会看到我像个小号手一样流口水
Hey, sorry to interrupt.
抱歉
Made some hot tea and some homemade cookies.
泡了热茶 做了手工饼干
I'm suddenly feeling some
我突然感到
tension in your shoulder here, Mitchell.
你肩部有些紧张 米奇尔
Do you cook, like I do, Caleb, or...?
你会像我一样做饭吗 凯莱布
Oh, no. Not as much as I used to.
不 不如过去频繁了
Oh, yeah, well, nothin' says lovin'
是吗 可什么都比不上
like a home-cooked meal.
家常美食那么表达爱意啊
I know.
我知道
I had my own restaurant for 15 years.
我经营自己的饭店15年了
Oh, but it failed and you lost everything?
但失败了 你破产啦
No, I had to walk away.
不 我得从中脱身
It's such a stressful life.
压力太大了
But I do miss having someone to cook for.
但我真的好怀念能为某人做饭
Cam, maybe you want to get into these topics
小卡 为啥不等凯莱布
with Caleb during your massage?
给你按摩时再聊这些话题
Oh, yeah, okay. I'll leave you guys.
好 我不打扰你们了
And the knots are melting away.
紧绷的肌肉放松下来了
- You know, I'm a drummer. - Big one coming back here now.
-我是个鼓手 -这里又好大一块紧绷了
Are you musical in any way, Caleb?
你懂音乐不 凯莱布
Yeah, I was actually in a band once.
懂啊 实际上我曾经玩过乐队
But it failed and you lost everything?
但失败了 你失去一切了
Uh, no. We actually toured Europe for a couple years.
不 实际上我们还去欧洲巡回演出几年
Bought me a house and a cabin in Hawaii.
我还用那收入买了房子和夏威夷的小屋
When you say Hawaii,
你说夏威夷
you mean the big island of Ha-va-ee?
你说的是夏威夷岛吗
I'm sorry, Caleb.
不好意思 凯莱布
I just remembered I need to talk to Cameron
我刚想起来我得和卡梅隆
about the recycling bin.
聊下回收垃圾箱的事儿
Would you excuse us?
能让我们单独聊会儿吗
Sure.
当然
Thanks.
谢谢
You're acting crazy.
你不要发神经
Okay, you know what?
好吧 你知道吗
I have some health issues on my mind, Mitchell,
是因为我担心我有健康问题 米奇尔
and I was simply evaluating the man
而且我只是简单地测试一下他
who might become Lily's stepfather someday.
他可能有天会是莉莉的继父呢
Cam, your -- your health is fine.
小卡 你的健康没问题
You don't know that. Phil probably thought the same thing
这可不好说 菲尔今早起床时
when he woke up this morning.
可能也这么想呢
Okay. Things lurk.
疾病都是潜伏的
Okay, so that's what this is?
好吧 原来是这么回事
You -- Seeing Phil flipped you out,
你 看到菲尔那样你受刺激了
but nothing is lurking.
但没有潜伏的疾病啦
Okay. Maybe I'm being crazy.
好吧 可能我是疯了
How about if I send him home...
我让他回去
and finish this little massage myself?
我亲自给你按摩 怎么样
Hey! Uh, everything okay with the recycling bins?
垃圾箱一切还好吧
What? Oh. Oh. The excuse.
什么 那个借口啊
Y-Y-Yes, and listen, about earlier, um,
还好 听我说 其实刚才是因为
Mitchell has a little crush on you and I was being weird,
米奇尔有点暗恋你 所以我表现得很奇怪
but we're all good now, so...
但现在没事了
No, it's actually really nice to hear.
不 其实很高兴听到这些
I just got dumped...
我刚被甩
...so I'll take any validation I can get.
所以任何的认可我都接受
Did he say what exactly about me he liked?
他说了喜欢我什么吗
I think how not needy you are.
我觉得是你不粘人吧
Anyway, we've put you through enough, you should go.
总之我们太对不起你了 你该离开了
I'll finish the massage.
我会接着给他按摩
Oh, absolutely not. Please, you've already paid.
不用了 不 你们已经付款了
Besides, when I leave, I'm just gonna be alone
而且我走后就得自己待在公寓里
in that apartment with the parrot that we adopted.
和那只我们一起领养的鹦鹉一起
Where's Silvio? Where's Silvio?
西尔维奥在哪 西尔维奥在哪
I don't know. He left!
我不知道 他离开了
Hey, I-I just had an impulse.
我突然有种冲动
Let's skip the massage.
别按摩了
I'll grab some wine and you can meet me in the bedroom.
我去拿酒 你在卧室里等我
Go on. Get in there.
快 去啊
Go away!
走开
You don't even know who it is.
你都不知道是谁敲的门
It's Claire. I need Surgery Bear.
是克莱尔 我需要手术熊
Not a good time, Claire.
时机不对 克莱尔
Oh, gotta have it, buddy.
必须得拿到它 老兄
You know how in college,
你知道在大学
everybody goes through a rebellious phase --
每个人都要经历一段反叛期吗
You know how one time Alex locked herself in the bathroom
你还记得有次艾丽克斯把自己锁在浴室
and I kicked the door down?
我把门踹开吗
That's what all the fuss is about? An earring?
你紧张兮兮就是为了这个吗 耳钉
Ugh. Where's the bear?
熊呢
Closet.
柜子
I started with an earring.
耳钉只是个开始
No one even noticed.
根本没人注意到
So, you might need to up your game, pal.
所以你可能需要升级
Try wearing a snake around your neck
可以在脖子上绕个蛇
and then act annoyed when people want to talk about it.
然后一有人谈论就表现得你很烦
Drawers?
抽屉
I went a different way.
我采取了不同的方式
Oh! Okay.
好吧
Well, first of all, welcome.
首先 欢迎来到反叛期
We do have more fun.
我们这样比较有趣
I'm guessing you like it,
我猜你喜欢这样
but you're worried what other people will think?
但你担心其他人的想法
A passerby likened me to a tennis ball.
路人甲把我比作网球
And you can't...
而你不能...
hide in here until it grows out.
躲在这 等着它长长
I ran the numbers.
我算过了
Even with inside-out wearings,
即使是衣物都反过来穿
I'd be out of underwear in three weeks.
我也只能宅在这里三周
Yeah.
好吧
Um, let me tell you about the happiest guy I know.
我和你讲讲我认识的最开心的家伙
He stretched a tightrope across his front yard.
他在他家前院拉了一个钢索
Didn't worry about the neighbors.
从不在意邻居侧目
He pogo-sticked to work, and...
他用弹簧单高跷跳着去上班
The point is, he doesn't care what anybody thinks,
关键是 他不在意别人怎么想
and if he did,
如果他在意
he wouldn't have had half the fun he's had.
他就得不到那么多的乐趣
Let me ask you again.
我再问你
How do you feel about the hair?
你感觉这头发怎么样
Kinda like it. Yeah.
还挺喜欢的
How do you feel about the fact that Jay's gonna hate it?
对于杰会讨厌这头发 你有何想法
I love that.
我喜欢
Thanks, Claire.
谢谢了 克莱尔
Yeah, I'm gonna hold on just a little longer.
我得再抱一会儿
I need it today. Okay.
我今天超需要拥抱
Oh. Cabinet.
橱柜
Come on.
不是吧
I hate to interrupt,
抱歉打扰一下
but if you just scream you'll call her back,
你就大声嚷说会打回给她吧
you might want to see how Joe's party's going.
我觉得你会想先去看乔的派对怎么了
Apparently, Joe shared the uplifting news
很明显 乔和他的朋友们分享了
that his friends could die at any minute.
大家可能随时死掉的振奋人心消息
Hey, so, I love what I do,
我喜欢我的工作
but I feed off the energy of my audience.
但我以观众的活力为生
And if I'm not getting a lot back,
如果观众没什么热情
it's harder for me to forget I'm a 45-year-old
我就更难忘记我已经45岁
classically trained actor in a body sock
科班出身却穿着连裤袜
and a cape that doubles as a curtain in my van.
披风除了当道具 还得当作车厢窗帘用
So, I'm gonna go.
所以我先走了
Jackson, Mama's here!
杰克逊 妈妈来了
You told them they were all going to die?
你居然对他们说他们都会死
No, only Joe, but in a very nice way.
不 我只对乔说了 但说的方式很温和
Really? Because it looks like the "before" picture
真的吗 那他们怎么看起来像
in an ad for chewable Prozac.
嚼服百忧解之前的对比照片
Take us, too!
把我们也带走
Joe, come here.
乔 过来
We need to talk again about the thing.
这件事我们得再谈一次
I think I'm just gonna go to bed.
我只想去床上躺着
Hold on.
等等
It's true we all die sometime.
我们都会在某天死去不假
But someone like you, so young,
但像你年纪这么小的人
is gonna live a long, long, long time.
会活很久很久的
Yeah, and the thing is,
是的 重点是
knowing we're gonna die some day can be a good thing.
知道我们会在某天死去是件好事
Because it reminds us to appreciate
因为这能提醒我们
every minute that we're around.
珍惜我们活着时的每分每秒
It's hitting you hard, isn't it?
这让你很受打击 对吗
It feels like I'm never going to laugh again.
我感觉我再也不会笑了
But that's natural.
但这是很自然的
This is a pretty adult thing you're dealing with here.
你面对的是个很成人化的问题
In fact, I'd be worried about you if you weren't
事实上 如果你接下来几天
walking underneath a cloud for a few days.
没有垂头丧气 我反而会担心
And eventually --
但最终...
You, me, bedroom.
你 我 卧室
I got the Syrah and I want to do something Syr-wrong.
我拿了红酒 我想好好红红火火浪一浪
But what about your massage?
你不按摩了吗
I said I didn't want it.
我说了不想按了
Come on.
快来
Mitchell, I am so happy we're doing this.
米奇尔 我们能这样我真高兴
We haven't done anything spontaneous in forever.
我们好久没这样随性过了
I hope you like what I picked out for us.
我希望你对我的选择满意
It is a little fruitier than we're used to.
和以往比起来水果味更重些
What a day, huh?
今天可真波折
Togas and health scares...
罗马托加袍 看急诊
Mitchell, I love you,
米奇尔 我爱你
and I don't want Caleb to get between us.
我不想让凯莱布夹在我们中间
Oh, so, where do you want me, then?
那你们想让我在哪个位置
Wha-? Oh, my God. W-what are you doing here?
我的天 你在这做什么
Me? I -- Cameron said that you liked me,
我 卡梅隆说你喜欢我
and then you said meet you in the bedroom.
然后你又叫我来卧室等你
You told Caleb that I liked him?
你告诉凯莱布我喜欢他吗
You told him to meet you in the bedroom?
你告诉他来卧室等你吗
I thought I was talking to you.
我以为是对你说的
Guys, it sounds like all three of us could really use this.
二位 听起来我们三个都需要放纵一下
Take it easy, Caleb.
别急 凯莱布
You'll have Mitchell to yourself soon enough.
很快米奇尔就是你的人了
Cam, you're not dying!
小卡 你命长着呢
We don't know that I'm not!
这我们可不知道
I-I had a cousin that died at my age
我有个表亲就是我这年纪死的
from a genetic condition,
死于遗传病
and it runs on my mom's side of the family.
是我妈这边传下来的
And if you have those two genes, you're at risk.
如果你有那两种基因就有危险
That's why I've been acting crazy all day.
所以我今天才神经兮兮的
Well, then, take a test
那就去做个检测
to make sure you don't have that pair of mom genes.
确保你没有那对老妈基因[牛仔裤]
Mitchell, I did take the test.
米奇尔 我的确去做了检测
I took it a week ago,
一周前做的
and I've been too scared to look at the results.
我太害怕了一直不敢看结果
Oh, honey, I'm-I'm so sorry
亲爱的 我真抱歉
you've been going through this by yourself.
你一直都在独自承受这些
Let's look at the results together, okay?
我们一起看结果 好不好
- Really? - Yeah.
-真的吗 -当然
Okay, here goes.
好 我要看了
Oh, thank God.
谢天谢地
You're okay?
你没事
No, my Etsy order shipped.
不 是网购订单发货了
But, okay, here's the -- here it is.
但 好吧 这就是结果
- You look. I cannot look at it. - Okay, okay, okay.
-你来看 我不敢看 -好好好
It's-it's negative.
是阴性的
- What? - You're fine. Look.
-什么 -你没事 快看
- Is it? ?- Yeah.
-真的吗 -真的
Oh, my God! I can't believe it!
我的天 我真不敢相信
Oh, now, that is something to celebrate.
这可得好好庆祝一下
- Yeah. I love you. - I love you.
-是啊 我爱你 -我爱你
All right, guys, I'm not-I'm not dense here.
好了 伙计们 我不傻
I-I know this is my cue to leave.
我知道我该走人了
But what you guys have is...
但你们俩的感情
it's very special.
不是人人都有的
You should cherish that.
你们该好好珍惜
Caleb --
凯莱布
I am so back in.
我当然加入
I was gonna say, if you want to take the cookies when you leave...
我只是想说你走时想拿点饼干请自便
No offense, but what do you see in him?
无意冒犯 但你到底看上他什么啊
Oh, no. I'm in heaven.
不好 我上天堂了
No. No, you're not. Not yet. You made it.
不 你没有 还没有 你活下来了
And just so you know, Surgery Bear was here
告诉你一声 手术熊一直都在
and scrubbed in for the whole procedure.
他和医生一起为你做了手术
That's pretty dangerous.
那挺危险啊
He's a women's studies professor.
他是妇女研究的博士[医生]
Besides, the only thing I really needed was my neck pillow.
再说 我唯一需要的只是我的颈枕
What?
什么
I knew if you didn't have something to keep you busy,
我知道如果不给你找点事让你忙着
you'd worry all day.
你会担心一整天
Aww, honey.
亲爱的
You really do know me.
你真了解我
I'm glad you woke up when you did.
我真高兴你及时醒过来了
You almost slept through the second Saturday in January.
你差点错过了一月的第二个周六
Why would you put it like that?
你为什么会这么说这日子
Hear ye, hear ye!
都听好 都听好
I hereby declare the opening of the first annual Dunphy Games --
我在此宣布第一届年度邓菲运动会开幕
hospital edition.
医院特辑
Tests of strength...
力量的考验
chance...
运气...
- ...and cunning. - Yes!
-及心计 -赞
With the winner receiving the coveted Dunphy chalice.
冠军将赢得令人垂涎的邓菲圣杯
To our champion, Mitchell!
向我们的冠军米奇尔致敬
Yes!
太棒了
Extinguish the torch.
熄灭火炬
And that concludes the first Dunphy Games.
第一届邓菲运动会就此落幕
Wi-wi-winter Dunphy Games.
是冬季邓菲赛
We'll see you all again July 9 for the Summer --
我们七月九日夏季...
Take the win, Phil.
见好就收吧 菲尔
- Okay. - Okay. All right.
-好吧 -好了好了
So we discovered our dad made
我们发现老爸这些年来
a series of videos through the years.
拍了一系列视频
Every time he was in danger,
每次他身处险境
he made a good-bye video for us.
他都给我们拍条告别视频
It turns out he's had the same haircut for a really long time.
原来他这个发型已经好久好久没变过了
Hey, kids.
孩子们
I've been traped in this portable potty for some time now.
我被困在这间移动厕所里有一阵子了
第1季第14集
As you can see by the curling edges of my moustache,
正如你们所见我的小胡子已经弯曲了
the-the chemical fumes are strong.
这里的化学气体太强了
I didn't plan to be on a airplane for Y2K, but...
我没打算在飞机上度过千禧危机 但
Here I am.
命运如此
A quick loving good-bye
短暂且有爱地告个别
第9季第9集
as I am surrounded by a swarm of bears.
因为我被一群熊包围了
If anything happens to me today,
如果我今天有什么不测
I have faith knowing the three of you will always have each others.
我相信你们三个会永远照顾好彼此的
My fingers're numb.
我的手指都麻了
To the point which it's hard to even keep a grip on the phone.
麻到我都抓不住手机了
No!
Oh, no! It's happening!
不 要开始了
It's ha- Oh. Ther're-they're just starting a movie.
要...原来是他们开始放电影了
It's-it's "A Bug's Life."
是动画电影《虫虫危机》
They're goofy.
视频都挺傻的
But it's sweet that he wanted
但他希望临终遗言
his last words on earth be something for his family.
是说给家人的 这还挺感动的
Yeah.
是啊
Also, we've reached a point in world history
另外历史进程已经到了
where it's become much to easy to film youself.
自拍变得过于简单的时代了
Totally.
没错
Wait, what?
等等 你在说什么