摩登家庭 第九季 Modern Family Season 9 第13集: In Your Head

上映日期: 2,017

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 詹姆斯·R·巴格多纳斯

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·


台词
- Good morning, gentlemen. - ?Hi.
-早上好呀 先生们 -早
Max, how'd you sleep?
麦克斯 你睡得好吗
Oh, I love crashing here!
我好喜欢在这儿过夜啊
This is just like college --
仿佛回到了大学时代
staying up too late, passing out on the couch,
熬夜到很晚 昏睡在沙发上
原创翻译 双语字幕
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mean Asian chick down the hall.
走廊上有毒舌的亚洲女
Yeah. Where is Lily?
是啊 莉莉人呢
翻译: 洗七里 深入浅出赛太公
I don't know. S-School, maybe?
我不知道 去上学了吧
I'm right here.
我在这儿呢
翻译: 脑子华特油腻希 斑驳 冰蓝
We met Max in Amsterdam on what we thought
我们以前在阿姆斯特丹认识了麦克斯
was a tour of pottery cafes, so...
本来是一趟陶艺[大麻]咖啡厅之旅 所以...
校对: 新浪微博@ 赛太公
I don't remember much about it,
很多事我都不记得了
荷兰阿姆斯特丹有许多的大麻咖啡馆与各种大麻制品
but I do remember thinking
但我清楚记得
he was the funniest person I've ever met.
我当时觉得他是我遇过最好笑的人
时间轴: 三水
And we told him if he ever came into town,
我们跟他说 要是来我们这儿
that he had to stay with us.
必须住咱们家
And I-I-I'm so glad he said yes
他答应了 我真的好开心
后期: 瓜瓜 总监: 怀念浓子的瓜瓜
because I remember being really, uh, paranoid
因为我记得当时一直很神经紧张
that he didn't like me.
觉得他不喜欢我
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You two, get out of here.
你们俩让开
I'm gonna whip us up some breakfast.
我来煮早餐给大家吃
客运飞艇 1937年在准备着陆时起火烧毁
Whoo! My head feels like the Hindenburg.
我的头像兴登堡号一样 痛到炸裂
Oh, come on!
少来了
- I feel like he was funnier in Europe. - Yeah.
-怎么感觉他在欧洲时比较好笑 -对
Mitchell! Look!
米奇尔 快看
Our crazy-expensive bottle of wine?
我们巨贵的那瓶红酒吗
I -- uh, we were saving this for the perfect occasion.
我们一直想留到最特别的日子才打开的
Okay, well, he must've drank it after we went to bed.
他一定是等我们睡了 再自己喝掉的
Who does that?
谁会这么贱啊
Just drinks somebody's
不问主人家
most expensive bottle of wine without asking?
就擅自喝掉别人最贵的红酒
- Okay, it's a hate crime. ?- How is it a hate crime?
-这是仇恨犯罪 -这怎么会是仇恨犯罪
Because I hate him.
因为我恨他
I ca-- I can't believe it's almost gone.
真不敢相信都快被他喝光了
Look, you know, I've only ever considered opening that twice --
我至今只考虑过打开这瓶酒两次
刚开始希拉里领先 但特朗普后来居上并胜利
once early on election night
一次是大选之夜刚开始
and then when we thought "La La Land" won Best Picture.
另一次是我们以为《爱乐之城》得到了最佳影片奖
奥斯卡颁奖乌龙事件随后更正获奖的是《月光男孩》
I know. It's been a rough year.
我知道 这一年很不好过
Breakfast!
吃早餐啦
No, no.
不 不要啊
Is that our caviar?
那是我们的鱼子酱吗
Yeah! Lucky I found it.
是啊 幸好我找到了
It was hiding in the back of the fridge.
被藏在冰箱深处呢
For a special occasion.
因为要留到特别的日子才吃
Something wrong?
有什么问题吗
Yeah... yeah.
有 有问题
Uh, first you open up our $400 bottle of wine,
首先你擅自开了我们价值四百块的红酒
now it's our $200 tin of caviar.
现在又开了一罐两百块的鱼子酱
- We were saving those. - ?For what?
-这都是我们特意留起来的 -留着干嘛
A celebration, like --
等到庆祝的时候才享用
What about when "Moonlight" won the Oscar?
那《月光男孩》得了奥斯卡那次怎么没开
主角是同性恋黑人
Okay, it was a big moment for the community, yes --
那次对我们群体来说 确实是重要的时刻
Okay, you know what? Look. I'm gonna go, okay?
这样吧 我还是走吧
But, guys, don't defer enjoyment,
但听我一句劝 千万别延迟享受人生
'cause you never know when you're gonna bite it.
因为人有旦夕祸福
I say, make every night special.
要我说 好好享受每一晚
Okay, well, that's a -- that's a fun philosophy,
好吧 你这套哲学挺有意思的
but not everyone can follow that, okay?
但不是每个人能身体力行 好吗
'Cause -- 'Cause we have responsibilities.
因为我们有责任在身
We have -- We have budgets.
我们有预算
We have a daughter, you know.
我们有个女儿
Where is our daughter?
我们女儿人呢
- I don't know. Backyard, maybe? - ?Maybe.
-我不知道 在后院吧 -可能吧
家 庭
摩 登
第九季 第十三集
Earl Chambers,
厄尔·钱伯斯
my former business partner-turned dumbass nemesis,
我昔日的生意搭档 后来变成我的死对头
bought the old horizontal wardrobe.
他买了横向衣柜
For you closet non-pros, that means he died.
给你们衣柜业门外汉解释一下 就是他挂了
Then last week, I received this urn and this note.
然后在上周 我收到了这个骨灰瓮和这封信
"You know what to do with my ashes.
"你知道该如何处置我的骨灰
Follow the path."
沿着路一直走"
What the hell does that mean?
这是什么鬼意思
You think you can drive me nuts, but you can't.
你以为可以把我逼疯 但你想都别想
He can't actually hear you unless you open the lid.
他听不见你说话的 除非你把盖子打开
I still can't figure out
我还是没想明白
the meaning of "Follow the path!"
"沿着路一直走"是什么意思
I'm gonna need you to call Shirl
我要你帮我打给雪儿
and find out why her father's been torturing me.
搞清楚她爸到底为什么要折磨我
- You call her! - That's not an option.
-你自己打给她 -你没得选择
She's a greasy slimebucket, just like her father,
她是个油腻的小滑头 跟她爹一个样
and for some reason, she doesn't like me.
而且不知为何 她不喜欢我
Hmm...I'll see what I can do.
我想想办法吧
Hey, Manny! What's up?
曼尼 怎么啦
I'm not here! Everything's fine!
你没看到我 一切都很好
- Super-dupes. - Okay, I'll -- I'll -- I'll talk.
-超级好 -好吧 我招了
Luke and I went to a sketchy neighborhood for tacos last night,
昨晚我和卢克到不太平的区吃玉米卷
and he disappeared, and I haven't seen him since.
然后他不见了 之后我再也没看见过他
What? Where did you see him last?
什么 你最后一次看到他是在哪
He went off with this girl.
他跟一个姑娘走了
- With a girl? ?- Yeah.
-跟一个姑娘吗 -是的
Manny.
曼尼
Let me tell you a little something about Dunphy men.
让我告诉你邓菲家男儿的一些事
When we come into contact with a lady,
当我们遇到女性时
we leave her with a burning sensation.
总会给她留下炙热灼烧感[性病]
Let me try that again.
这么说有点歧义
Um...when a Dunphy man sees a sexy skirt,
当邓菲男儿遇见性感小妞时
he's just gotta get in it.
他就必须"深入"她心房
- No! ?- I get the point.
-不妥 -我懂你意思
Look, I'm just glad you came to me...
我很庆幸你是来跟我说
I didn't. You caught me here.
我才没有 刚好被你逮到而已
...'cause I don't want Claire freaking out about this. ?
因为我不想克莱尔知道后慌张失控
Luke's phone is going straight to voicemail.
卢克的电话转到语音信箱了
Someone's got a sock on the digital doorknob.
有人在数码门把手上挂了袜子哦
暗示正在房间里亲密 请勿打扰
I really think you should be a little worried about this.
我真的觉得你该担心一下
Worried?!
担心
Let me tell you something about Dunphy men.
让我告诉你邓菲家男儿的一些事
Phil, this was a pretty rough neighborhood.
菲尔 那一区龙蛇混杂 很不安全
Tell you what,
这样吧
if it makes you feel better,
如果能让你放心些
we'll go down there and look around for him.
我们一起去那里找找他
We're gonna need backup -- serious backup.
我们需要支援 强而有力的支援
Okay, be cool.
好了 淡定
I used to live in this neighborhood.
我以前就住在这一区
If you act tough, nobody will mess with you.
只要表现得强悍 就没人敢惹你
Would you like to try
你们想尝尝
没有应用动物实验的
a cruelty-free alkaline-water snow cone?
人道的碱水刨冰吗
- What? - ?Free sample.
-什么 -免费品尝
You can get a larger one down at our stand.
去我们铺子有比较大份的
We also refurbish tubas.
我们还提供翻修乐器大号的服务
No, thank you.
不用 谢谢
What happened to my neighborhood?
我的街区怎么了
Have the best day.
祝你们今天愉快
White people with beards -- they ruined everything.
留络腮胡的白人毁了一切
Why would you even say that this place was dangerous?
你为什么要说这里危险
It was a lot scarier at dark. There was jazz.
晚上这里可怕多了 还放着爵士乐呢
Luke's still not answering.
卢克还是不接电话
We're gonna find him, Phil.
我们会找到他的 菲尔
Oh, I-I'm not worried. I've been there.
我不担心 我经历过
Meet a girl, you lose track of place and time,
遇见一个女孩 忘了地点和时间
not just 'cause your compass watch is missing,
不仅是因为你的罗盘表不见了
and suddenly her cousin Rodney has the exact same watch
而且她表哥罗德尼突然也有了同一块表
but swears it was always his.
他还发誓他有那表很久了
Oh, look! Mario's Bodyshop.
瞧瞧 马里奥的汽修店
At least one thing is still the same.
至少有一样东西还没变
There's nothing that happens in this street
这条街上发生的一切
that Mario doesn't know about.
地头蛇马里奥全都了如指掌
Let's go over there.
我们过去吧
So, red lights are flashing, alarms are blaring.
红灯闪烁 警报响个不停
We're about 10 seconds from a meltdown so hot
还有大概十秒钟反应堆就要熔毁了 温度高到
it's gonna turn Belgium into a pool of hot chocolate.
会将比利时烧成一汪热巧克力
And I suddenly realize,
我突然意识到
they haven't properly accounted for the relativistic distort--
他们没有正确地计算相对扭曲...
Hey, what's this building's number?
这栋楼是几号楼
I'm trying to Postmates a smoothie.
我想叫杯思慕雪外送
I quickly do a few multi-dimensional
我迅速在脑海中进行了
tensor calculations in my head,
一些多维张量计算
I push this crying guard to one side
我将吓哭的警卫推到一边
and adjust the synchrotron.
调整了同步加速器
I look up at the countdown clock.
我抬头看着倒计时钟
5...
五...
4...
四...
You, with the phone!
你 拿着电话的
- What's your name? - Alex Dunphy.
-你叫什么 -艾丽克斯·邓菲
Ms. Dunphy, is my story of saving the world
邓菲女士 我拯救世界
whilst accidently creating three new elements boring you?
同时意外创造三种新元素的故事让你觉得无聊吗
Uh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
没有 没有 完全没有
I'm so sorry, Professor.
很抱歉 教授
Nothing you could say would ever bore me.
你说的话永远不会让我觉得无聊
I revere you.
我尊敬你
I actually went as you last year for Halloween.
实际上 去年万圣节我扮成了你
Okay, it's my phone. Don't blame my sister.
好吧 这是我的手机 别怪我妹妹
Hey, Chelsea. Gonna have to call you back.
切尔西 回头再给你回电话
- Shut up! Shut up! - ?Shut up!
-我不信 你闭嘴 -闭嘴
Excuse me, Chelsea's friend.
不好意思 切尔西的朋友
Y-You don't look like one of my students.
你看起来不像是我的学生
Oh, thank you! That is so sweet.
谢谢 你嘴真甜
No. Why are you here?
不是 你为什么来这里
Oh, I have a really big job interview today,
我今天有个重要的工作面试
and I need someone to look over what I wrote for my --
我需要有人检查下我写的...
Yeah, we're going. I'm taking her out. I am so sorry.
我们走了 我带她出去 很抱歉
What? He asked. You're being rude.
干嘛 是他问的 你太没礼貌了
- Very revealing. ?- Get out.
-太暴露了 -出去
Claire, I'm so glad you called.
克莱尔 很高兴你给我打了电话
How come we've never done this before?
我们之前怎么从来没聚过
Because we were born into a feud.
因为我们两家是世仇
Hatfields and McCoys, the Sharks and Jets,
血仇世家哈特菲尔德和麦科伊 鲨鱼队和喷气机队
the -- the closet lunatic and the closet idiot.
衣柜疯子和衣柜笨蛋
- By the way, I'm really sorry about your dad. - ?Thanks.
-顺便说一句 很遗憾你爸爸去世了 -谢谢
Do you have any idea why he had his ashes sent to my dad?
你知道他为什么让人把骨灰寄给我爸爸吗
- Probably to drive him bonkers. - Well, it's working.
-也许是为了把他逼疯吧 -效果拔群
That would've made him happy.
他知道了会很高兴的
Let's make a pact -- to never be like them.
咱们约定吧 永远不要像他们一样
I am in.
我同意
We are two women in a male-dominated industry.
我们是男性统治行业中的两个女人
We should help each other.
我们该帮助彼此
Actually, do you have any sources
实际上 你知道有谁会做
for antique pineapple knobs?
古董菠萝把手吗
We're doing this whole colonial line --
我们在做殖民地系列
Ooh, I bet you Lazlo would know.
拉兹罗肯定知道
He's our lead designer.
他是我们的首席设计师
Everybody knows who Lazlo is. He's a legend.
大家都知道拉兹罗是谁 他是个传奇
Yeah, and my only employee worth a damn.
也是我唯一一个有价值的员工
Robot workers. Now, that's the future.
机器人工人 那才是未来
Right! They work 24/7,
对啊 它们从不休息
and you don't have to buy them a birthday cake.
而且你不用给它们买生日蛋糕
Yeah, and as they become more human,
机器人变得更像人类时
you can be like, "Hey, you, come into my office",
你就可以说 你 来我办公室
- and then you just go to town on them. ?- Yeah.
-然后"吃干抹净"了它们 -是啊
What the hell?
什么鬼
What happened to the bodyshop?
汽修店怎么了
Oh, we just kept the sign.
我们只是保留了招牌
Oh, uh, so -- so no M-Mario?
马里奥不在了吗
Mnh-mnh. We're an artist collective.
是啊 我们是艺术家联盟
Jillian works in yarn,
吉莉安玩毛线艺术
Mumford sculpts with Lego, Duncan is a painter.
芒福德用乐高做雕像 邓肯是画家
May I write you a poem?
我能给你们写首诗吗
Are you kidding me?
你在逗我吗
I told you it was a career.
我就跟你说有这职业
Um, any chance that you have, uh, seen my son?
你有没有见过我儿子
No, I'm sorry.
没有 抱歉
Oh, okay. He -- He was around here last night.
好吧 他昨晚来了这附近
He apparently went off with a girl from this neighborhood.
他貌似跟这附近的一个姑娘走了
We just haven't been able to reach him since.
从那以后我们再也没能联系上他
Do you know the girl's name?
你知道那姑娘的名字吗
No. Uh, something Latin-y.
不知道 像是个拉丁名字
What happened to you? You used to be Latin-y.
你怎么了 你以前还是拉丁男孩呢
Can you describe her?
能描述一下她的外貌吗
Brown hair, high cheekbones --
棕色头发 高颧骨
What is he gonna do, build her out of Legos?
跟他说有屁用 他用乐高把她做出来吗
Huh, that is surprisingly effective.
万万没想到会有如此神效
Wait a minute. I know that girl.
等等 我认识那姑娘
I think she works at a cupcake shop.
她好像在一家小蛋糕店工作
Great. Where is it?
真棒 在哪里
Well, I'm not sure which one because we have four.
我不确定是哪家 因为这里有四家
There's Cupcakes! With an exclamation point,
一家叫"小蛋糕!" 加了个感叹号
there's vegan cupcakes at Cupfakes,
卖素食小蛋糕的"小淡糕"
there's Pupcakes, which sells cupcakes for dogs,
"狗蛋糕"是买给狗狗的宠物小蛋糕店
and then there's Rick's VCR Repair.
还有"瑞克的录像机修理店"
Oh, they make the best cupcakes.
那家的小蛋糕最好吃
Stupid Max, forcing us to eat our caviar
白痴麦克斯 害我们得在
on a regular Friday morning.
在如此普通的周五早上吃鱼子酱
I can't even enjoy the symphony of flavors,
我根本无法享受鱼子酱的美味
or the -- or the way that it melts in my mouth.
或它在我口中融化的感觉
Why don't you just wash it down with whatever wine's left.
那你干嘛不随便喝口剩下的酒咽下去得了
Yeah, why don't I.
对呀 干嘛不呢
- Cheers. - ?Cheers.
-干杯 -干杯
Mmm, and, of course, you know what?
果然不出所料 你知道吗
It pairs perfectly.
这俩绝配
I-I cannot believe I'm having one of the best meals of my life
我不敢相信我吃着一生最棒的一顿饭
and we're not even celebrating anything.
却没有庆祝任何事情
Yeah, thanks, Max!
谢谢了 麦克斯
- Thank you, Max. - ?Thank you, Max.
-谢谢了麦克斯 -谢你全家啊麦克斯
Cam, is it -- is it -- is it possible
小卡 有没有可能
that we're actually enjoying ourselves
我们其实真的很享受
and -- and that Max was right?
麦克斯是对的
Maybe we do defer enjoyment.
或许我们真的总在延迟享受
All those unspent frequent flyer miles,
那些没用完的飞行里程
the boots that I have waited so long to wear
那我等了好久才穿的靴子
that they're no longer in style,
穿时已经过时了
the -- the -- the surfboards
还有那些冲浪板
that we've never used because
咱们从来没用过
it just "had to be the perfect beach day".
因为要等到最完美的冲浪日子
What are you doing?
你要干嘛
- Mitchell... - I'm lighting it.
-米奇尔 -我要点了它
-No! - ?I'm lighting it!
-不 -我要点了它
No, that is our monogrammed wedding candle,
不 这是印有名字的婚礼蜡烛
and we're supposed to save it.
我们要把它留到特殊场合
For what, Cam?
什么场合呢 小卡
- I don't know! ?- You don't know.
-我不知道 -你不知道
- I don't. - ?You don't know.
-我不知道 -你不知道
Ohh...look at it.
Smells like eternal love.
好像闻到了永恒的爱
Aww...oh. ?O-kay.
好吧
Why are you always in my office?
为什么你老在我办公室
I do my best work in here. ?
我在这儿效率最高
I've been trying to get into his head.
我在试着进入他的思路
I even brought his favorite lunch --
我甚至还买了他最喜欢的午饭
shrimp cocktail and bourbon.
鸡尾酒虾 波本酒
Or that's just what you have for lunch every day.
那不过是你每天午餐吃的东西啊
That's another thing Earl stole from me! ?
这也是厄尔从我那里偷学走的
- What did you find out? - First of all,
-你发现什么了 -首先
Shirl doesn't know anything about the ashes.
雪儿不知道有关骨灰的任何事
And second, we're not gonna be a part of your little feud anymore.
其次 我们不会像你俩一样不和
- We're gonna be friends. - She's playing you!
-我们会成为朋友 -她耍你呢
- No... -?Let me ask you a question.
-不会 -我问你
Did you tell her we're bidding on Belmont Gardens?
你告诉她我们投标贝尔蒙特花园了吗
No. Why?
没 怎么了
Because 15 minutes ago, I got a phone call
因为15分钟前 我接到个电话
saying just out of the blue,
说突然之间
Closets Closets Closets Closets is bidding against us.
"衣柜衣柜衣柜衣柜"公司和我们竞标
Did she see your proposal?
她看了你的提案了吗
Yes, Dad! I'm quite sure she
看了 爸 我肯定
rifled through my bag when I was in the bathroom.
她在我去卫生间的时候翻了我的包
You went to the bathroom?
你去卫生间了吗
- Why don't you just give her the company?! - Oh, God.
-你咋不直接把公司送她呢 -天啊
- Bingo! Ketchup! - What does that prove?
-你瞧 番茄酱 -这说明什么
Did she have ketchup for lunch?
她午餐是不是吃了番茄酱
She had... french fries.
她的确吃了薯条
There's your smoking gun.
证据确凿
Margaret? I'm gonna need
玛格丽特 我需要
fries and ketchup to get in Shirl's head.
薯条和番茄酱来进入雪儿的思路
No! No, Shirl wouldn't have done this.
不不 雪儿不会这么做的
Um, bad news.
坏消息
Uh, we finally tracked down those pineapple knobs,
我们好不容易找到的那些菠萝把手
but they were all just bought up by Closets...
但刚被买下 是衣柜
- No. - Closets...
-不 -衣柜
No, Margaret!
不 玛格丽特
...Closets Closets.
衣柜衣柜公司
Shirl screwed me.
雪儿玩了我
You know what you have to do?
你知道你要怎么做吗
You've got to hit her where it hurts.
你得戳她的痛处
What does she value most?
她最珍视什么
Lazlo.
拉兹罗
I don't think you understand
我觉得你没明白
how humiliating that was for me.
这对我来说有多丢人
There are parts of me that will never uncringe.
这尴尬可能会跟随我一生
Oh, my God!
天啊
So I interrupted some boring story.
我打断了无聊的故事而已
Dr. Arvin Fennerman
阿尔文·费诺曼博士
is a two-time Vanderkoff Grant winner --
是一个大奖的两次获得者
one for philosophy and one for geometry.
一次是哲学一次是几何学
You can't put him into a box
你不能就这么...
- because... - Could you please just read my sample?
-因为 -你能不能看下我的文章
This job is important to me.
这个工作对我来说很重要
This is my one shot at a real career.
这是我有一份真正工作的唯一机会
Fine, I'll read it. And "real career"?
好 我读 但"真正工作"吗
I've seen this NERP business.
我看过这个诺普公司了
Nicole Rosemary Page seems bonkers.
妮可·罗丝玛丽·佩奇看起来就有病
Didn't she get in trouble for cannibalism?
她不是因为食人事件出事了吗
No. Turns out there are no laws against
没有 事实证明没有法律禁止
eating your own appendix,
吃自己的阑尾
and it does help with fine lines.
而且吃了真的有养颜美容作用
But she's a success story.
但她是个成功的典范
Child star, bond girl,
童星 邦德女郎
indie darling before she lost all her money to a Fonzie scheme.
在钱全被方氏骗局卷走前还是独立片甜心
- Don't you mean Ponzi scheme? - ?Sadly, no.
-你说的是庞氏骗局吧 -很遗憾 还真不是呢
So, out of desperation, she invented NERP,
然后出于绝望 她成立了诺普
and next thing you know -- boom! Empire.
接下来突然之间就成为商业帝国
I just want to be a part of something great.
我只想成为伟大事业的一部分
Well, if I'm being honest,
说实话
your writing sample's actually pretty good.
你写得还不错
Really?! Thank you.
真的吗 谢谢
Oh, my God. It's Dr. Fennerman.
天啊 费诺曼博士
Don't think, don't breathe, keep your head down. ?O-kay.
别思考 别呼吸 头低下
Hello.
你们好
Sorry! Hello, Doctor.
不好意思 你好 博士
Would you like down sit?
要下坐吗
- What? - Kind, that's very you of, Alex.
-什么鬼 -太好了你人 艾丽克斯
Um...tell me again, why were you in my class?
再和我说下 你为什么在我的班上
I have a very big interview
我有个很重要的面试
with Nicole Rosemary Page, and she was just --
是和妮可·罗丝玛丽·佩奇 她刚刚...
Ugh! You know she's a snake oil salesman, right?
你知道她是个江湖骗子吧
Yes, I know.
我知道
People complain about the diarrhea all the time,
人们抱怨一直腹泻
but that is the point.
但减肥就是靠这个啊
Her science is utter nonsense.
她的科学就是一派胡言
I mean, space stickers that give you energy,
什么能给你能量的宇宙贴纸
and crystals that absorb Wi-Fi,
能吸收无线网信号的水晶
and seriously -- $1,200 socks?
1200块一双的袜子 有没有搞错
Those sheep eat nothing but sushi.
做袜子的羊毛出自只吃寿司的羊
- Are we done here? - Surprisingly, not.
-我们说完没有 -神奇的是 没有
This might sound crazy, but...
这或许听起来很疯狂 但
I'm going to marry you.
我要和你结婚
What?!
什么
I'm sorry, first time talking to a real girl?
抱歉 你第一次和活生生的女生说话吗
No, l-l-listen. I-I-I don't get it.
不 听我说 我也搞不懂
Frankly, it boggles the mind,
其实我也吓到了
but I've been running
但自从刚才遇见你
dozens of probability scenarios in my head since we met,
我在脑袋里运算了数十种可能的情形
and-and they all end with us...
最终结果都是我们
...together.
在一起了
I have heard some lame pickup lines in my day, but --
我这辈子也听过不少很瞎的搭讪词 但...
I have plenty of those.
那种词我也有不少存货
Are you a neuro-electrical current
你是神经电流吗
because you've been running through my mind all day?
因为你整天都在我脑袋里跑来跑去
But th-th-that's not what this is.
但这次不一样
This is going to happen, Haley Dunphy.
咱俩肯定会在一起 海莉·邓菲
- Ew, how do you know my name? - I know everything.
-你怎么知道我的名字 -我什么都知道
Also, your pass has your name written on it.
而且你的通行证上面有名字
I think I'm gonna pass out.
我觉得我要晕过去了
Right, I've just air-dropped my contact info to your phone.
我把我的联系方式空投到你电话上了
You just tap to accept it.
要不你就按一下接受
Uh, yeah, not gonna...tap that.
我是不会"要"的
I think you will.
我认为你会的
Haley, there are forces in the universe
海莉 宇宙中有许多力
that we don't understand...
是我们无法理解的
measurable forces that...can't be explained,
可测却无法解释的力
but cannot be denied...
但没人能否认它的存在
and that's-that's what this is.
咱俩之间就是这样
I don't get it, but...I know that it's real.
我也无法理解 但我知道它是真实存在的
That was so dumb!
这也太智障了吧
What? No, it wasn't. You're-you're dumb.
什么 哪里智障 你才智障
That's gonna stick. I'm-I'm in your head.
会烙印进你脑海的 我已在你脑海之中
- Okay. ?- You'll see.
-好吧 -等着瞧
Sure, buddy. Now try and walk away cool.
行行行 兄弟 走人时尽量走得帅一点
- Oh, I will. - ?Okay.
-我会的 -那好
We were standing right here making out.
我们本来在这里亲热
All of a sudden, he said, "I'll be right back",
突然间他说"我去去就回"
and that was the last I saw of him.
之后我就没见过他了
You guys, my break is over,
各位 我的休息时间结束了
but I hope you find him.
我希望你们能找到他
Thank you for your help,
谢谢你的帮助
and the cupcakes are delicious, by the way.
顺带一提 小蛋糕很好吃
- Those are for dogs. - Oh, no.
-那是给狗狗吃的 -不是吧
- Ay, Phil, are you okay? - Yeah, yeah.
-菲尔 你没事吧 -没事没事
I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation
我很肯定卢克是有什么充分的理由
why Luke would abandon a make-out sesh.
才会放弃和女孩亲热
No, there isn't.
不 根本没有
A Dunphy man would never do that.
邓菲家的男人永远不会那样做
We walk away from fights, we walk away from spiders,
我们会临阵脱逃 被蜘蛛吓跑
but never a super-cute girl who smells like frosting!
但永远不会离开身上有糖霜味的可爱女孩
You have to stay positive.
你得保持乐观
Nothing bad ever happens this close to a Pottery Barn.
高级家具店的附近从来不会出什么事
I've been putting on a brave face
我一直在假装勇敢
to squash the darkness inside of me,
来压制内心的黑暗
but what if the worst has happened?
但万一发生了最坏的状况呢
How will I tell Claire? I won't.
我该怎么和克莱尔说 我不说
I'll have to smother her with a pillow to spare her the pain,
我得用枕头捂死她免得她伤心
but then Jay will have lost a daughter.
但那样杰就会失去女儿
I'll have to smother him, too.
我得把他也捂死
That's two pillows from the same set. It's a pattern.
那两只枕头是成套的 成了我的惯用手法
- The police are after me! - ?Get ahold of yourself!
-我被警察盯上了 -给老娘打起精神来
What the hell?
你手也太重了
It wasn't me. Look, I'm still cocked!
不是我 你瞧 我手还没落下去呢
It was a shoe.
是只鞋
Wait, that's...
等等 这是
that's Luke's.
是卢克的鞋
Luke! You're okay!
卢克 你没事
I got stuck on the roof.
我被困在屋顶上了
I'm so relieved!
这下我放心了
I don't have to kill your mother!
我不用捂死你妈了
Turns out, Luke had to go to the bathroom.
原来卢克当时要上厕所
Someone told him it was upstairs,
有人告诉他厕所在楼上
so he walked all the way up to the roof
他就一路上到了屋顶
and locked himself out.
不小心把自己反锁在屋顶了
His phone was dead, and he-he lost his voice
他电话没电了 街上音乐声太大
trying to scream over the street musicians.
他大声喊得嗓子也哑了
I was so relieved, I ran up there and gave him a big kiss.
我松了口气 跑上去狠狠亲了他一口
Gloria!
歌洛莉亚
Hi. We're stuck.
我们被困住了
Could you pop on up and open the door?
你上来帮我们开个门行吗
Dunphy men.
邓菲家男儿啊
Hello, Lazlo.
你好 拉兹萝
- It's pronounced "Lazlo". ?- That's what I said.
-发音是"拉兹罗" -我就是这么念的啊
Thank you so much for meeting with us.
谢谢你来见我们
Have you had a chance to consider our offer
你有没有考虑我们的提议
to join Pritchett's Closets?
加入普利切特衣柜
I'm intrigued, but I have a list of demands.
我有兴趣 但我有张条件单
Ah, yes, of course.
好的 当然
We have, uh...
条件有
...uh, "Two turquoise bowls of white Chiclets,
"两个装满白色口香糖的绿松石碗
an empty office with a drain in the floor..."
有地漏的空办公室"
- What's a "Scream room"? - I think that's self-explanatory.
-"尖叫室"是什么 -这还用解释吗
Pritchett!
普里契特
Girl Earl!
厄尔闺女
You're actually trying to poach Lazlo from me?
你居然想从我这挖走拉兹罗
I thought we were friends.
我还以为我们是朋友
We were, and then you bought all my pineapple knobs.
本来是 可你买走了所有菠萝门把手
- As a gift! ?- What?
-买来送你的 -什么
- I had them sent to you. - You did?
-我发到你那去了 -是吗
Don't listen to her.
别被她蛊惑
This is all part of some sick plan.
这都是她变态计划的一部分
Stealing Claire's proposals,
偷看克莱尔的提案
Earl's urn to get in my head.
送来厄尔的骨灰让我闹心
But your little games are not gonna work.
但你的小伎俩是不会成功的
Yeah. Yeah, how do you explain
是的 你要怎么解释
the red ketchup stains on my proposal, French Fries?
我提案上面的番茄酱 薯条妹
I never use ketchup.
我从不沾番茄酱
I like my fries the way I like my Lazlo...
我吃薯条跟与拉兹罗亲密时一样
undressed.
光着来
Twiddle-Dee.
小低低
You guys have a really complicated relationship.
你们俩的关系好复杂啊
And what's that red stain?
你那红色的污渍是什么
Shrimp cocktail sauce, uh-oh.
鸡尾酒虾酱
Dad!
- Shirl... - ?Save it.
-雪儿 -省省吧
We could have been friends. Well, forget it.
我们本来可以当好朋友呢 但算了吧
Game on.
要战便战
Shirl...
雪儿
What is she up to?
她有什么诡计
No, no. Your crazy conspiracy theories just cost me a friend.
没有 你的神经病阴谋论害我损失了朋友
I thought I'd finally found
我还以为我终于找到了
an -- an ally in this industry,
一个业界盟友
somebody to... to climb the hill with.
一个与我... 共登山巅的伙伴
Up the hill! Oh, my God! That's it!
共登山巅 天啊 就是这个
No, no, you do not get to have an epiphany right now!
不行 不许你现在跟我来顿悟这招
I am furious at you!
我要被你气炸了
The answer is...yes.
我的回答是 我愿意
People say that NERP
很多人说诺普
is nothing more than a con job,
不过是骗钱的玩意
a cash-grab vanity project from a kooky actress.
脑残女演员的刷脸骗钱项目
Oh, I'm sorry. Was that a question?
抱歉 这是在提问吗
- No. ?- Oh, okay.
-不是 -那就好
But...
但是
is it true?
真是这样吗
- They don't tell me things. - Who's "They"?
-他们总不跟我说真话 -"他们"是指谁
See, I don't see NERP as, like, a business.
我不觉得诺普是个生意
- It's more, like, a kind of... - Like a way of life! Me too!
-这更像是种... -生活方式 我也是
Walt Disney once... envisioned...
迪士尼创办人华特·迪士尼曾发想过
a magical world...
一个魔法世界...
...and people told him he was mad.
但别人都说他是疯子
They called it "Walt's Folly."
他们称那地方为"华特蠢地"
- But you know what that place became? - Disneyland.
-但你知道后来那里变成哪儿了吗 -迪士尼乐园
- That was not a question. - Oh, I -- I'm sorry.
-我没有在问你 -对不起
That place is Disneyland.
那地方成了迪士尼乐园
What?! That's crazy. Didn't see it coming.
真的假的 不是吧 完全没猜到
I want to turn NERP
我希望把我公司
into the next Disney-Facebook-Tesla-Botox.
变成下一个迪士尼 脸书 特斯拉 肉毒针
It's a world changer. It's a road map to the future.
能改变世界 变成通向未来的道路
That was a question!
这是个问题啊
Alright, listen.
算了 听我说
I really liked your writing sample, it's true.
我很喜欢你写的样品文章 真心的
But...
但是...
...we have a lot of candidates
我们有很多应征者
with more experience and famous-er parents,
有丰富的经验 更有名气的父母
so...
所以...
fly away, little birdie.
飞走吧 小鸟
Flap. Flap, flap.
啪嗒 啪嗒 啪嗒
Okay, thank you.
好吧 谢谢
Nicole?
妮可
You and me -- this is gonna happen.
你和我 咱俩肯定能行
Excuse me?
你说什么
There are forces in the universe that we don't understand.
宇宙中有许多力是我们无法理解的
They can't be explained, but they cannot be denied,
它们无法被解释 但它们的存在也无法否认
and that is what this is.
而我们也是一样
I don't -- I don't get it, but I know that it's real.
我无法理解 但我知道这是真实存在的
Oh, my God!
天啊
That is just what I said to all of those haters
我也是这么跟那些喷子说的
who told me that my crystal energy stickers
就是那些说我的水晶能量贴纸
did not improve your colon health.
并不能改善结肠健康的人
Uh! ?Crazy.
神经病
They do if you, you know...
是能有效的 只要...
Yeah.
是啊
So, um, does that mean that I will see you Monday morning?
所以下周一早上我们能再见吗
Let's make it Tuesday
周二吧
'cause I like to spend Mondays in a flotation tank.
因为我周一喜欢在漂浮缸里待着
As young men, we'd hike this path up to an old oak tree,
年轻时 我们沿着这条路爬到这棵老橡树
where we'd brainstorm how to conquer the closet universe.
我们一起动脑想着怎么征服衣柜世界
We foolishly thought that we knew everything back then.
我们当年傻傻地以为自己什么都懂
But hopefully, I've learned a few things through the years.
但我乐观地希望我这些年来有学到几件事
Like, live today as if there is no tomorrow.
比如 仿佛没有明天般认真活在当下
it's not too late to right past wrongs,
弥补过去的错误何时都不晚
and when things are looking down, look up...
当一切都在走下坡时 要向上看
...or take chances you never imagined you would.
抓住你永远以为自己不会尝试的机会
阿尔文·费诺曼博士拒绝 接受
"You stupid softy, I knew you'd do it.
"你个傻逼娘炮 我就知道你会做
Did you try to do something special?
你有没有有试着搞点煽情的啊
Was it at sunset?
是不是日落时分
It was at sunset, wasn't it?
就是日落时分 对吧
Sucker. I win.
娘们 我赢了
See you in hell."
咱们地狱再见"
I look forward to that.
我拭目以待
Whoo! ?Ohh, this is amazing!
这太爽了
I know! We should have done this years ago.
对啊 我们好几年前就该这么做了
Whoa. I'm a little cold. Are you a little cold?
我有点冷啊 你是不是也有点冷
Yeah, the parts of me that I can still feel sure are. ?Yeah.
是啊 我还没被冻僵的部位的确有点冷
Oh, look at those suckers on their way home from work.
看看那些下班在回家路上的废柴
Enjoy the rat race!
祝生意场狗咬狗愉快啊
- Don't forget to pay your taxes! - Yeah!
-别忘了要纳税啊 -对啊
Hey, did you see the story about that, um, dinosaur fish?
你有没有读到那个... 恐龙鱼的文章
It said it had the head of... a head of a snake or something.
文章说它的头... 是个蛇的头之类的
Yeah, 16 rows of teeth, uh-huh.
有 有16排牙齿嘛
Hey, do you think that we look like seals from underneath?
你觉得我们从水下看像两只海豹吗
Mitchell, w-what are we doing?
米奇尔 我们这是在干嘛
What are we... We're living our lives, is what we're doing.
我们在干... 我们这是在享受人生啊
Yeah, but I, uh, I'm just asking,
是啊 我知道 我只是问问
but was imagining it more fun?
但想象是不是比现实做更有意思啊
Well, it was warmer.
好歹更暖和
You know, I like looking forward to things.
你知道吗 我很喜欢期待一件事情
Carly Simon's big hit was "Anticipation",
女歌手卡莉·赛门的名曲是"预期"
not "Remember That Cool Thing We Did".
不是"还记得我们做过的那些牛逼事"吗
Hey, I have an idea.
我有个主意
L-Let's go back, we'll buy a bottle of wine that we'll never open
我们就回去 买一瓶永远没机会开的酒
and a candle that we'll never light,
一根永远没机会点的蜡烛
- call it a day, huh? - That sounds wonderful.
-然后今天就收工 -这主意听起来很赞
Okay, but stop touching my feet.
好了 但你别再碰我脚了
I didn't touch you.
我没碰你脚
I didn't touch you.
我没碰你的脚
- You didn't... - I didn't touch you.
-你没... -我没碰你
- Dinosaur fish! Dinosaur fish! - Dinosaur fish! Dinosaur fish!
-恐龙鱼 是恐龙鱼 -恐龙鱼 恐龙鱼
Mitchell! Mitchell, do not leave me alone!
米奇尔 米奇尔 不许你留下我一个人