摩登家庭 第九季 Modern Family Season 9 第14集: Written in the Stars

上映日期: 2,017

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 詹姆斯·R·巴格多纳斯

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·


台词
Hey, Phil.
菲尔
Jay, where are you? What are you doing?
杰 你在哪 正在做什么
I'm just walking into my house.
我正要进我家门
Stop! Don't you take another step!
停下 一步都别往前走了
What the hell are you talking about?
你在说什么疯话
Claire just told me your Valentine's
克莱尔刚告诉我你为歌洛莉亚
plans for Gloria.
准备的情人节计划
原创翻译 双语字幕
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You're walking into a buzz saw!
你这么进家门就死定了
翻译: 穿越时空赛太公
Get in.
上车
翻译: 洗七里 平行时空赛太公
What am I looking at here?
你们这是什么扮相
- Nothing. - Oh, it's a role-playing thing we do on Valentine's.
-没什么 -是我们的情人节角色扮演
- It bumps the lovemaking up a notch. - ?Phil, why?
-让滚床单更有激情 -不说能死吗菲尔
校对: 新浪微博@赛太公
Gloria is mad at you.
歌洛莉亚在生你的气
If you walk in there with some lame gift,
如果你拿着应付了事的礼物进屋
she will bite your head right off, mister.
她会要了你的命的 先生
时间轴: 三水
Well, you worried for nothing.
你这是瞎操心
I bought her a nice cookie,
我给她买了块精致的饼干
and the biggest Mylar balloon they sold at the grocery store.
还有超市卖的最大的聚纤气球
后期: 瓜瓜 总监: 怀念浓子的瓜瓜
Wake up, man! You're losing her!
醒醒吧老头 你要失去她了
When did you talk to Gloria?
你什么时候和歌洛莉亚聊过
This afternoon.
今天下午
打开微信 扫描左侧二维码或搜索公众号: 美剧炸了了解最新影视资讯字幕信息
I'm just taking Claire up to the overlook on Mulholland
我要带克莱尔去穆赫兰道的眺望塔
for a little old-school make-out sesh.
在那里来一段老派亲热
Oh, Phil.
菲尔
You're so good at Valentine things...
你真会过情人节
unlike some ungrateful, selfish men
不像某个不知感恩的自私鬼
that don't appreciate women!
一点都不知道珍惜女人
- You need to step it up tonight. - How?
-你今晚得多花点心思 -怎么做
By dressing up in costumes like weirdos?
像怪胎一样玩角色扮演吗
It's not weird, Dad. It's fun.
这并不怪 爸 挺好玩的
Yeah. Tonight, we get to be 17 again,
是的 今晚我们得以重返十七岁
when we were just a couple of innocent, wide-eyed virgins.
当时我们都还是纯洁天真的处子
Shut up.
闭嘴
I'm not doing it.
我才不要
Today, when Gloria found out what we were doing, she said,
今天歌洛莉亚知道我们的计划时说
"Damn it, Phil. You are so good at Valentine's.
"该死的 菲尔 你真会过情人节
I wish Jay was as sexy as you."
我真希望杰和你一样性感"
She never said that.
她从没说过那种话
I'm paraphrasing.
大概就是这意思了
Okay, call Gloria,
好吧 打给歌洛莉亚
tell her to meet you at a hotel bar,
告诉她去酒店酒吧等你
and then you show up as some romantic character.
然后你扮成某个浪漫角色现身
- Who would I be? - Anybody.
-我能扮成谁 -谁都行
Think of the most exotic person you can.
一个你能想到的最具异域风情的人
General Eisenhower,
艾森豪威尔将军
the father of the American freeway.
美国高速公路之父
You're gonna want to think a little sexier than that.
得想个比这更性感些的人
You have not seen the right photos.
你们看的那些照片都照得不好
家 庭
摩 登
第九季 第十四集
What are you doing? I thought he was taking you out to dinner.
你怎么吃上了 他不是要带你出去吃晚餐吗
I'm pre-eating so I don't look like a pig.
我先吃点免得到时像猪一样能吃
Oh, please tell me you don't eat on dates.
求你告诉我你去约会时不会大吃特吃
Who's the lucky guy?
哪个男人这么幸运
Oh, this professor from Alex's college.
是艾丽克斯大学的一个教授
Normally, I wouldn't go out with a guy like that,
通常我不和那种男人约会
but there's something about him.
但他有点特别的魅力
"Something about him"?
"有点特别的魅力"
He's a genius.
他可是天才
He's one of the most respected minds on campus,
他是我们大学最受敬仰的学者之一
who also happens to look like the protagonist
还刚好长得像简·奥斯汀小说里写的
from a Jane Austen novel.
一个男主角
He's totally out of your league.
你完全配不上他
Oh, well, now you're being crazy.
现在你说的可是疯话了
Are you into him or something?
你喜欢他还是怎么的
No! I'm just genuinely concerned
不 我是真的担心
you're going to embarrass yourself or me.
你会让自己或我丢人
At least look up the difference between astrology and astronomy.
至少查一查占星学和天文学的区别吧
Okay, alls I know is,
我只知道
is that you're being a real Capricorn right now.
你现在这嘴脸可真是典型的摩羯座
The sun revolves around the Earth,
太阳是围着地球转的
and not you.
不是围着你
I cannot believe we got into this restaurant.
我真不敢相信我们订到了这家餐厅
I know. Oh, you know what?
就是说 你猜怎么着
Let's take a picture and use Facebook the way it was intended.
脸书不就是为了在这种时候发照片炫耀的吗
Oh, to find out how racist our high-school friends are?
为了发现我们高中老友原来那么爱搞歧视
No, to make people in our lives
不 为了让我们的亲朋好友
feel worse about their lives.
觉得过得不如我们好
Gentlemen.
先生们
Your table's being set up right now.
二位的桌子马上就备好了
Okay.
好的
- Oh, my G- No. - ?What?
-我的天 不 -怎么了
- Th-that's Luke. ?- No. We ca-
-那是卢克 -不 我们不能...
- We can't sit there. I'm s- - No, we can't sit next to --
-我们不能坐在那 -我们不能坐他旁边
Can we have a-can we have a different table?
能不能给我们换张桌
I'm sorry, not tonight.
抱歉 今晚可不行
If you guys don't want it, I have 10 other people who do.
如果你们不坐的话 还有十个人等着呢
Okay. You know what?
好吧 你知道吗
Tonight was supposed to be a romantic night.
今晚本该是浪漫的一晚
?I-I don't want to watch him
我不想看着他
make his sweaty moves on his conquest of the week.
饥渴地撩骚他这周的战利品
And some of them buy it.
有些妹子还真上钩
Under what gas leak is
到底是哪的煤气大泄漏
he finding these brain-dead bimbos?
让他有这么多无脑女可找
And have you heard how mean he's gotten?
你听说他现在性格变得多糟糕吗
The other day, he called us "catty."
那天他还说我们"阴险贼猫"呢
- He called us catty? - ?Yeah.
-他说我们阴险贼猫 -是的
You sure he wasn't talking about the dead cat on his head
他自己脑袋顶上那坨跟死猫似的
- he calls a haircut? - Oh, my --
-还好意思说别人 -我的天
Hey, guys!
你们好
?Hey, Luke! What a coincidence.
卢克 真巧
I think it's nice that we're helping out
我觉得今晚我们能帮帮老爸和歌洛莉亚
Dad and Gloria tonight.
是件挺好的事
I know. I'm just a little bummed
我知道 我只是有点郁闷
that we're stuck here, watching Joe,
我们只能待在这照看乔
when we could be messing around in a Trans Am.
我们本可以在复古跑车里亲热的
Or...did we just take it up a notch, huh?
还是其实我们更上一层楼了
I'm the foxy babysitter. The kid's asleep.
我是性感保姆 孩子睡着了
You are the foxy bad boy
你是性感坏男孩
who sneaks over with some wine coolers...
拿着果酒偷偷过来
Oh, radical.
真带劲儿
Now that I'm six, I like girls,
现在我六岁了 开始喜欢女孩子了
but I love two girls --
但我特爱两个女孩
The Little Mermaid and Claire.
小美人鱼和克莱尔
Oh. Joe. W-What are you doing up?
乔 你怎么起来了
Hello, Claire. I made this for you.
克莱尔 这是我为你做的
Oh, my goodness.
我的天
Look, it's a Valentine.
看 是情人节卡
It's two love bugs.
是两只爱虫
Two love bugs.
两只爱虫
Three's a crowd.
第三只就是电灯泡
Hey, how can I help you?
你要喝点什么
I am Gigi DeLaroca, businesswoman.
我是女商人吉吉·德拉罗卡
Life has tried to break me, but it has only teach me.
生活想将我压垮 但我却从中学到了智慧
So, you want a drink?
所以你要不要喝点什么
The lady will have Campari and soda.
给这位女士来杯金巴利加苏打水
Hello, sir.
你好 先生
I have never had that drink.
我从没喝过那种饮料
Well, no one "camparis" to you.
你无与伦比[金巴利谐音]
Very clever.
真聪明
I am Gigi DeLaroca, businesswoman.
我是女商人吉吉·德拉罗卡
I am Raoul Matadore.
我是拉尔夫·马塔多雷
I own this hotel. May I?
这家酒店是我的 我能坐吗
Of course, Mr. Matadore.
当然 马塔多雷先生
Like Andy Garcia in "Ocean's Eleven."
像《十一罗汉》里的安迪·加西亚一样
I don't think you have to explain.
我觉得你没必要解释
Right. Um, you talk.
是的 你说
No, I mean, um... Thank you.
不 我的意思是 谢谢
Tell me about you.
跟我说说你
What business are you in? Bueno.
你是做什么生意的
Well, let's just say,
姑且说
I'm just a lady that works in the evening.
我是在夜晚工作的女人吧
But I am not available to any man.
但不是什么男人都能一亲我芳泽
So charm me, Mr. Matadore.
用魅力征服我吧 马塔多雷先生
This hotel...
这间酒店
has the finest closets in all the land.
有世界上最高级的衣柜
We have lighted rods and soft-close doors.
我们有带灯的挂衣杆和无声衣柜门
I was once married to a man
我曾经嫁过一个
that endlessly talked about closet.
只会无休无止谈论衣柜的男人
You're boring me very much.
你让我非常无聊
Okay, well, um...
好吧
I need one secondo, huh?
等我一下好吗
Hotel businesso, huh?
我得处理下酒店事务
Bueno.
好的
Oh, my goodness. The waitress -- She left a menu here.
我的天 服务员把菜单落在这了
Now, I'm wondering if we should have got --
我在想我们是不是该点...
Oh, my God! Where's his date?
我的天 他的约会对象呢
Do you think he got stood up?
你觉得他被放鸽子了吗
- Let me see that. - Right here.
-让我看看 -就在这
It's so embarrassing. What do we even say?
太丢人了 我们该说些什么
They're not soundproof menus. Yeah. She's standing me up.
菜单又不能隔音 没错 她放我鸽子了
Women are impossible, you know?
真搞不懂女人 你们说呢
For us, they are.
我们的确搞不懂
Well, now I made it work once,
有次我还真成功了
although there was a-a Rob Lowe poster behind her.
她身后挂的帅哥罗伯·劳的海报也有功劳
You know what? I say to heck to heck with this gal.
要我说 忘了这姑娘吧
- Get back out there, go to a bar! - ?Yes!
-去邂逅其他人 到酒吧去 -没错
I hear that.
我赞成
- A guy like you, great head of hair... ?- Yep.
-像你这样的小伙 一头秀发 -没错
Nah, I'm too depressed.
算了 我太郁闷了
Besides, I prepaid for my meal. I guess I'll order.
再说我已经提前付款了 我还是点餐吧
Just forget I'm here.
无视我就好
Anyway... happy Valentine's Day.
话说回来 情人节快乐
- Thanks. - You look so handsome.
-谢谢 -你看起来真帅气
This sucks.
这太糟心了
I can't believe I let you talk me into doing this crap.
真不敢相信我听你的劝玩起了这一套
- I need help! - It's okay.
-快帮帮我 -没事的
Underneath it all, it's just you and your wife.
在表象之下 不过还是你和你妻子
That's the problem.
这就是问题所在
I don't know how I got her to begin with.
我都不知道当初是怎么追到她的
And I'm starting to feel if I can't pull this off,
现在我开始觉得如果今晚不好好表现
she's gonna figure out she got duped the first time.
她会发觉她一开始是上我的当了
Let me start by saying "Thank you"
让我先说句"谢谢"
for being so vulnerable with me.
谢谢你对我敞开心扉
I hate you.
我恨死你了
Also, I'm no expert at this,
另外 我不是这事的专家
but I have a friend here who is.
但我认识一个专家
Clive Bixby here.
我是克莱夫·比克斯比
How can I make your night sexier?
要我帮你把今夜变得更性感吗
If I can't role-play with her,
如果我跟她玩不成角色扮演
I'm not doin' it with you.
也不会跟你玩
Whatevs, Daddio.
随便吧 老爹
I'm gonna give the phone back to Philip.
让我把电话还给菲利普
Phil here.
是我菲尔
Listen, it's all about commitment and confidence.
重点全在投入和自信上
What's-what's your character?
你扮成什么角色了
Raoul Matadore, hotel owner,
拉尔夫·马塔多雷 酒店老板
like Andy Garcia --
像安迪·加西亚...
In "Ocean's Eleven" -- I love this for you!
《十一罗汉》里的嘛 真适合你
Did you go with the timepiece?
你用了表的那招吗
Yeah, I thought at some moment, I'd pull it out,
我就想着找机会 拿出表
smash it on the bar, and say,
往吧台上砸烂 对她说
"I want to remember the exact moment I fell in love."
"我想永远记得我坠入爱河的那一秒"
- I'm an idiot! - ?No.
-我就是个白痴 -你不是
That silence is me picking my jaw up off the floor.
我沉默是因为我要捡起惊掉的下巴
We're all walking, and you're flying, mister.
我们还在学走路 你已经在飞了 大师
Seriously? You think so?
真的吗 你真这么觉得
1,000%! But don't take it from me.
我1000%觉得 但最好还是问高手
Clive again.
现在又是克莱夫
Mr. Matadore, I tip my turtleneck to ya.
马塔多雷先生 我脱高领衫向你致敬
Hello?
还在吗
All right, no peeking.
好啦 不许偷看
Oh, no peeking.
我不偷看
I hope you're not disappointed.
希望你不会失望
Wow! It's so pretty!
天啊 好美
You know what else is pretty?
你知道还有什么很美吗
Oh! Stop.
你讨厌啦
Well, I was going to say "Venus."
我本来是要说"金星"
But sure, let's go with you.
但行吧 就夸你美
Come on, have a look.
来吧 来看看
Nope.
不是这样
Oh! Okay.
好吧
Yeah, there's a new moon, so it's the perfect night
是新月 所以今晚特别适合
to observe faint star clusters.
观测微弱的星团
?And -- And right in the middle,
而 而在正中央
there's a variable star that I discovered.
有一颗我所发现的变星
It's right next to a white dwarf.
就在一个白矮星[白侏儒]旁
Oh, I don't think you're allowed to say that anymore.
现在好像不能用这种词汇称呼人家了
Yes, tricky times we live in.
是啊 这年代说话得很小心
Wow, this is so cool.
这真是太酷炫了
Right. Have a -- Have a think about this --
是啊 你想像一下这个
There is a theory that suggests the universe is so large
有个理论说整个宇宙大到
that everything that can happen is happening all the time.
世上所有能发生的事情 全都正在发生
Do you smoke weed?
你抽大麻吗
Oh. No.
不啊
Sor-- Sorry, I'm a little obsessed with space.
抱歉 我有一点太着迷宇宙
I-I built my first Dobsonian telescope when I was 10.
我在10岁时造了人生第一个多布森望远镜
You made a telescope?
你造了望远镜吗
The only thing I've ever made was an ashtray for my mom
我唯一做过的东西就是送我妈的烟灰缸
that says, "Rub your butt here."
上面还写着"请在这里摩擦你的屁股"
Oh, like cigarette butt.
就是在说烟屁股
Yeah.
是的
What are you doing next August 27th
你8月27号有安排了吗
8:00 P.M.?
大概晚上8点
I have no idea. Why?
我不知道啊 怎么了
NASA is giving me an award for a radiation shield,
太空总署要为我做的防辐射层给我颁奖
- and -- ?NASA's giving you an award?
-而... -太空总署要给你颁奖吗
I need a date. There's no pressure.
我需要带个伴 你别有压力啊
But it saved the lives of a bunch of astronauts.
不过我做的东西救了一群宇航员的性命呢
Wow, you've done a lot.
你好有成就啊
Well, I'm -- I'm sure you've had
我相信你也有不少
your share of accomplishments.
属于你的成就吧
Oh, yeah! Yeah, of course.
是啊 当然啦
Let's see. There was, um...
我想想啊 有一个...
college...
大学...
Nope. Nope. That is a --
不 不 这话题
that is a bad road.
通向了一条死路
Well, uh, uh, okay, so professionally,
好吧 在我的工作上...
I've been kind of sort of dabbling in, like,
我有涉猎... 比如...
a lot of different -- Pass.
很多不同的... 算了
Um...I-I-I-I once flew
我有一次坐飞机
next to the bass player of The Killers.
坐在杀手乐团的贝斯手旁边呢
Uh, you know, it just kind of looked like him.
好啦 其实好像只是长得像的人
Is there a bathroom?
这里有洗手间吗
Here, I'm just gonna find it myself.
帮我拿着 我自己去找找
No big deal. I'm fine. I'm -- I'm great.
没什么 我没事 我很好
I...
我...
So, are you seeing anybody new?
最近有跟新的人交往吗
No, I didn't even make my mom a Valentine's card this year.
没有 我今年都没给我妈做情人节卡片呢
It's alarming that I asked about dating,
我问你有没有跟人交往
and you went right to your mother.
而你直接说到你妈 这样好吗
Hello?
你好
Alex, it's Professor Fennerman.
艾丽克斯 我是费诺曼教授
I'm sorry to bother you on Valentine's.
很抱歉在情人节打扰你
Uh, it's okay. Uh...
没事的
Have you heard from Haley?
海莉有联系你吗
Isn't she with you?
她不是跟你在一起吗
She was, and... then she suddenly ran off.
本来是啊 但她突然就跑掉了
I think -- I think I may have bored her
我想... 我好像让她无聊到
to the point of fleeing.
受不了逃跑了
You could never bore anyone.
你怎么可能会让人无聊呢
You know who's boring? Professor Schaeffer.
你知道谁才是真无聊吗 舍费尔教授
Agreed. He's insufferable.
同意 他无聊到要死
He never stops droning on.
总是嘴上叨叨个没完
He's like the cosmic microwave background radiation.
他就像是宇宙微波背景辐射一样
Because he's the constant noise you can't get rid of!
因为他是永远都弄不走的持续噪声
Thank God somebody gets me tonight.
太好了 今晚终于有人能懂我说的话了
You know, I think it might have been a bad idea,
我觉得或许带她来天文台
bringing her to the observatory.
并不是什么好主意
I probably should have set my sights on someone
或许我应该把目光放在
with whom I have more in common.
跟我更有共同话题的姑娘身上
Do you know what I mean?
你懂我意思吗
I...think I do?
我应该懂吧
Anyway, I think I'll wait here a little longer,
好了 我打算再多等一会
take in the stars, just in case she shows up.
看一会儿星星 以防她突然出现
Maybe she will.
或许她会出现的
Thanks, Alex.
谢了 艾丽克斯
Oh, my God.
天啊
- What? - ?Haley blew him off.
-怎么了 -海莉弃他而去了
I think he wants me to come to the observatory to be with him.
他好像想要我去天文台那里陪他
You have feelings for this guy?
你对他有感觉啊
Who wouldn't?!
谁不会对他有感觉啊
I mean, do you know how hard it is
你知道想找到一个
to find a good-looking genius?
有颜值的天才有多难吗
There's him, and when I put in a little effort, me!
除了他 就只剩打扮一下后的我了
Then go.
那就去吧
I will.
我这就去
Yeah, you will, a-and I'm gonna make
你就去吧 我也要去
a Valentine for my mom.
给我妈做一张情人节卡片
They're not the same!
这两件事不一样好吗
Okay, open -- open mine first.
好 先打开我的
Oh. ?It's -- It's a kimono.
这个形状是和服
I took an online origami class.
我上了网上的折纸课
Okay.
好吧
It's a haiku. ?
是俳句
"Friend, lover, husband.
"友爱人丈夫
My life started when we met.
人生从见你开始
You're my everything."
你是我所有"
Aww. ?You are.
你真的是
Ooh, let's see what you wrote in yours.
来看看你给我写了什么
Aww. It's a tandem bicycle.
是协力脚踏车
Yeah. ?It's so cute.
真是有爱
"Happy V-Day.
"情节快乐
Love, M."
爱你 米"
And I thought my date was cold.
本以为我的妞够冷血了呢
What? No. Cam knows what I mean.
怎么 小卡知道我意思[毒]
Cam knows you are mean?
小卡知道你毒吗
You were more effusive about tonight's menu
你对今晚的菜单流露出的感情
than you were in my card.
都比给我的卡片多
"The molten chocolate cake looks slutty and delicious."
"熔岩巧克力蛋糕看起来又骚气又美味"
Would it kill you to say that about me?
你也这么说我会死啊
What the hell? Amanda was here.
什么鬼 阿曼达有来这里
This picture you posted on Facebook --
你们贴在脸书上的照片
She's right behind you. Why would she just leave?
她就在你们背后 她为什么就走了呢
Tonight was supposed to be a romantic night.
今晚本该是浪漫的一晚
I don't want to watch Luke make his sweaty moves
我不想看着他饥渴地撩骚
on his conquest of the week.
他这周的战利品
Yeah, and some of them buy it.
有些妹子还真上钩
Under what gas leak is
到底是哪的煤气大泄露
he finding these brain-dead bimbos?
让他有这么多无脑女可找
I know what happened.
我知道发生了什么
She walked in, saw me for the first time,
她走进店里 第一次看到我本人
and thought I was hideous.
觉得我长得很丑
I've really been struggling with my hair lately.
我最近的发型真是怎么弄都弄不好
No, no, stop it. You have great hair.
别 才没有 你发型好看死了
1959年出生的苏格兰知名女歌手
If it worked for Sheena Easton, it can work for you.
席娜·伊斯顿留这发型好看 你也能留得好看
We spent all this time texting.
我们互通短信了这么长时间
I thought we had a real connection,
我还以为我们真的心心相印
like, really got each other.
就真的很理解彼此
We couldn't let him blame himself.
我们不忍心任他埋怨自己
But, uh...he took it pretty well.
他知道后... 还接受得挺好
You catty bitches!
你们俩阴险贼猫可真损
Luke, we love you, but ever since you hit puberty,
卢克 我们爱你 但自从你进入青春期
- you've been... a little disgusting. - A little disgusting.
-你就有点... 讨人厌 -讨人厌
Don't you think I know that?!
这还用你们说啊
She was my chance to turn it around.
她不就是我扭转乾坤的机会吗
Okay, you know what? Call her.
好 这样吧 打给她
We'll get on the phone, we'll clear the whole thing up.
我们跟她讲讲 帮你把整件事解释一下
I called her. She's not picking up.
我打给她了 她不接电话
We're going to her apartment.
我们现在就去她家
We messed this up, we'll fix it.
我们惹的祸 我们得弥补
Before the cake arrives?
在蛋糕上之前就走吗
I've been wanting to bury my face in that all night long.
我一整晚都等着把脸埋进蛋糕里了
How can you not hear this?
你听不到你对它多浪漫吗
Okay, Joey, it's getting late.
好了 乔 时间晚了
It's time to get you up to bed.
是时候该让你上床睡觉了
Can you do a quick monster check first?
你能帮我看一眼房间有没有怪兽吗
Yes, I can.
可以 没问题
Phil, I can't sleep without my teddy bear,
菲尔 我睡觉不能没有小熊陪
and I left him in my wagon.
我把它忘在我小拖车上了
Can you get him? I'm afraid of the dark.
你能去帮我拿来吗 我怕黑
You got it, buddy.
没问题 小兄弟
Joe? What are you doing?
乔 你在干嘛
Open the door.
打开门
Fulgencio Joseph Pritchett!
弗汉希欧·乔瑟夫·普里契特
Open the door!
把门打开
You let me in right now, young man.
年轻人 你马上开门让我进来
Not cool, Joe!
你不能这样 乔
Joe, what is going on with this music?
乔 这音乐是怎么回事
My God.
我的天啊
Oh. Where's Phil?
菲尔去哪里了
Who knows what that guy?
谁知道那家伙啊
Honey, what happened?
亲爱的 怎么回事
Mini Casanova locked me out.
小情圣把我锁外面了
What? That is enough.
什么 够了
Joe, you are a little boy,
乔 你就是个小孩
and you're going to bed right now.
你现在立刻去睡觉
You're a bad Valentine!
你是个烂情人
Oh, no.
惨了
I feel like the rest of the Breakfast Club
感觉就像电影《早餐俱乐部》中
when they realized Judd Nelson was
其他人发现贾德·尼尔森的角色
more vulnerable than they thought. ?I...
没有他们想象中那么硬气时那样...
My hotel in Ibiza was my favorite.
我在伊比沙岛的那间旅馆是我的最爱
I used to hang out with Telly Savalas,
当年我们一起玩的人有泰利·萨瓦拉斯
Lyle Waggoner,
莱尔·瓦戈纳[都是老牌明星]
but the scenery here
但眼前的风景
makes me like this one mucho more.
更让我爱不释手
You don't have to impress me
你不需要靠
with money or name-dropping, I think.
有钱或是扯名人来引起我兴趣 是名人吧
I like you.
我喜欢你
Don't tell this to my madam,
不要告诉我的鸨母
but I cannot accept any money from you.
但我不能收你任何钱
Excuse me, ma'am.
抱歉 女士
Can I talk with you for a moment?
我能跟你借一步说话吗
Yes?
怎么啦
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave now.
我得请您离开
The hotel owner is very strict
我们旅馆的老板
about women who do what you do.
对您这行的女性十分严格
Ooh, you're gonna take me to a room
你要带我去个房间
where the hotel owner is going to give me
然后你们旅馆老板要给我来一场
a very tough, sexy talking to?
十分凶悍又性感的"教训"吗
No, you're gonna leave, or we're gonna call the police.
不是 您得离开 不然我们要叫警察了
- Yes, call the police. - Gloria --
-行啊 你叫警察吧 -歌洛莉亚
I've been a very, very bad girl.
我是个很不乖的"坏女孩"
This is not a part of it.
这不是角色扮演的一部分
Sir, she is not a prostitute.
先生 她不是妓女
This is my wife.
她是我老婆
That's what they all say.
你们这些人都这么说
Please.
这边请
Yep, that's probably what I would've said.
是啦 要我我估计也这么说
Here she is. Ciconi.
她在那里 琪柯妮
What do you want?
你来干嘛
- Oh, hi! - Here she is.
-你好啊 -她来了
You're actually hotter than your picture.
她比照片上还漂亮
You know, let us talk. Hi! So, we're --
来 我们来谈 你好 我们...
- we're Luke's uncles. - We're Luke's uncles.
-我们是卢克的舅舅们 -我们是卢克的舅舅
You're his uncles?
你们是他舅舅吗
And you said he put sweaty moves on brain-dead bimbos?
你们说他饥渴地撩骚无脑女吗
Okay, hadn't heard the specifics.
好吧 你们没说那么详细
Okay, you know -- you know what?
好啦 是... 是这样啦
We d-- We didn't mean any of that.
我们说这些话不是真心的
We're gay, and gays are snarky.
我们是同性恋 同性恋特毒舌
It's a cultural thing.
我们文化就这样
You know how, like, you're Italian?
就像比方说 你是意大利人吧
Italians talk a lot with their hands, right
意大利人说话手势特别多 对吧
and are much looser
而且跟其他天主教徒比
than one would imagine for Catholics.
你们也比较放荡...
Okay, okay. Let me talk right now.
够了 让我来说
Okay, Amanda, Luke's an amazing guy.
阿曼达 卢克是很棒的小伙
Why would I believe what you're saying now
我为什么要信你现在的解释
and not what you said before?
而不是你们之前说的话
I don't know. I don't know.
我不知道 我真不知道
You know, maybe we were just being snarky
或许我们之前只是故意毒舌抬杠
because we were jealous of you guys. Yeah.
因为我们很嫉妒你们俩
I mean, seeing Luke all dressed up,
看到卢克穿得整整齐齐
getting ready for a first date, the --
准备好要初次约会...
the excitement of being young and in love.
小年轻陷入爱河的那种兴奋感
Mm. ?Easy.
别太过头
I-I remember when I first met Cam --
我还记得我初次见到小卡的画面
- I'm Cam. - This is Cam.
-我是小卡 -他是小卡
I knew I had met the person
我当时就知道我见到了
I was gonna spend the rest of my life with.
我想要共度余生的人
That's what I want, too -- a relationship,
我也想要这个 一段感情
someone who's gonna be there for me.
有一个会陪在我身旁的人
Luke feels the same way.
卢克也是这个感觉
I mean, this is a guy who is ready for commitment.
他是个准备好要全身心投入的小伙
We've really only texted.
我们只是互通短信过
Okay, well, when I say --
当我说
when I say to give Luke a chance,
当我说请你给卢克一个机会
it's because I-I know what's at stake for you.
是因为我知道这对你会有多重要
I-I mean, you think it's amazing now?
你觉得你们现在已经很棒了吗
You can't even imagine what it could grow into.
你都想象不到你们发展下去会变多赞
If you guys have even the smallest chance
如果你们能有哪怕万分之一的机会
of having what we have... you have to go for it.
得到我们之间的感情 你就必需得去尝试啊
Oh, my God, Mitchell.
天啊 米奇尔
That is the Valentine's Day card I've always wanted.
这才是我一直想要的情人节卡片啊
That was sweet.
真是太甜蜜了
But Luke's gone.
但卢克已经跑了
Drive until you hear a party.
一直开 开到你听到有派对再停
Okay. Well, you know what? Good luck, honey.
好啦 亲爱的 祝你好运吧
- Bye, then. - Yeah, take care.
-再见 -你好好保重
You see, we have the same address
你看 我们有同样的住址
and the same last name.
还有同样的姓
I was just pretending to be a prostitute
我只是在扮演成一个妓女
1971年电影 一名应召女子帮助侦探破解悬案
because my husband has a thing for Jane Fonda in "Klute."
因为我丈夫对电影《柳巷芳草》有情节
The body was crazy,
女主身材要命了
unfortunately, so were the politics.
但可惜 里面的官僚斗争也是
Well, I guess you didn't do anything wrong by hotel rules,
好吧 你们没有违反我们旅馆的任何规定
but based on my personal belief system --
但根据我个人的信仰来说
We're not looking for any input. Thank you.
没打算要听你的意见 谢谢
I can't believe I took romantic advice from Phil,
我真是不敢相信我听了菲尔的情场建议
a grown man I've seen in lederhosen at least three times.
一个我起码看他穿过三次皮短裤的成年男子
Phil told you to do the role play?
是菲尔叫你搞角色扮演的吗
Yeah, he said you were mad this morning
对啊 他说你今早不高兴
because I always drop the ball on days like this.
因为我总是在这种大日子掉链子
I wasn't mad at you.
我不是生你气
I was mad at Joe
我是在气乔
because he didn't make me a Valentine.
他没给我做情人节卡片
So your 6-year-old kid
所以你的六岁儿子
doesn't give you a card, you get so mad,
没给你做卡片 你就生气到
you throw a tire iron through the windshield.
用撬胎棒砸穿挡风玻璃
It's got to be deeper than that.
生气的原因应该是更深层的吧
Manny, for the first time ever,
是曼尼 这也是他第一次
didn't make me a Valentine's, either.
没给我情人节卡片
That's not deeper.
这不是更深层
That's just doubling down on the same disturbing thing.
这是同一件有毛病的事乘二
Disturbing?
有毛病
When Manny was 5 years old,
当曼尼五岁的时候
he told me that he would forever be my Valentine's.
她说他会永远当我的情人
Promises were made. I will not be ignored!
他许下的约定 我怎可被遗忘
Okay, yeah. That sounded weird.
好啦 听起来是挺怪的
But the point is that I know
但重点是我知道
that you're not good at romantic things,
你不擅长搞这些浪漫的招数
and I'm fine with it.
所以我无所谓
Don't let me off the hook.
你不能这么轻易放过我啊
If I did more,
如果我做得更好
you wouldn't depend on your kids for those things.
你就不用依靠你两个儿子来得到浪漫了
And if I learned anything
要说我今晚
from trying to pick you up tonight,
试图泡你时学到了什么
it's how lucky I was to get you in the first place.
那就是我当年能泡到你真是走大运了
I've got to do better.
我得做得更好
And I didn't think anyone
我也不觉得世上会有
could get any sexier than Raoul Matadore.
比拉尔夫·马塔多雷更性感的男人了
I want to remember the exact moment
我想永远记得
I fell in love with you all over again.
我重新坠入爱河的那一秒
What the hell have you done?
你他妈干嘛呢
That was my father's watch!
那是我爸爸的表
Poor little Joe.
可怜的乔
You don't think I led him on, do you?
你没觉得我有故意吊着他吧
No, no.
不 不对
I am not doing this.
我不能这样
Women always blame themselves.
女人总是怪是不是自己的问题
Well, I'm sorry, Joe. I don't owe you anything.
抱歉 乔 我没欠你什么
You know what? I-I think I'll handle this.
这样吧 我想还是我来处理吧
Hey, buddy.
小家伙
Are you gonna yell at me, too?
你也要来骂我吗
Listen.
听我说
The reason Claire was yelling at you
克莱尔凶你的原因是因为
was to protect my feelings.
她想要保护我的感受
She knows I can't compete with you,
她知道我根本比不上你
which is, um...
所以呢...
which is why I have to ask you a really big favor.
我想请你帮我一个大忙
Can you pick another girl?
你能去跟别的女生好吗
I mean, you can have anyone you want,
像你这样 什么女生都会喜欢你
but... Claire's all I've got.
但我只有克莱尔了
I'd be lost without her.
失去她 我就失去了一切
I don't even know how I got her in the first place.
我自己都不知道我当初怎么泡到她的
You are pretty silly.
你的确挺傻的
What do you say?
那你怎么说
Dude to dude, will you back off?
爷们之间的约定 你愿意收手吗
Okay.
好吧
Is Haley seeing anyone?
海莉有在跟人交往吗
Easy.
你悠着点
How'd I get back to Arvin? I don't know.
我怎么回到阿尔文身边的 我也不知道
I was just looking for the parking lot
我本来是在找停车场
when I came to a fork in the path.
结果遇到了一个岔路
Had I taken the other path,
如果我选了另一条
I would've just gotten in my car and gone home.
或许我已经上了我的车回家了
Instead...
可是呢...
You came back!
你回来啦
Damn it, I did!
靠 还真是
Why did you run off? What did I do?
你为什么跑掉啊 我做什么了
Everything. And I've done nothing.
你什么都做到了 而我一事无成
I-I feel like a loser.
我感觉自己就是个废柴
You feel like a loser?
你觉得自己是废柴吗
Why do you think I went on about myself so appallingly?
你觉得我为什么这么讨人厌在自卖自夸呢
Ooh, look at me.
快看我
I won the Von Snootington Award
我在应用臭屁学领域
for Applied Astro-Doofinomics.
赢得了"炊扭比"大奖呢
You won another award? How is this helping?
你又赢了一个奖吗 这怎么安慰到我了
Haley...I like you.
海莉 我喜欢你
You are formidable in a way that's...
你的强大与难以对付
that's different and exciting to me.
与别人好不一样 令我斗志十足
Yeah, well, same,
我也是这感觉
but it just doesn't make sense.
但感觉就是不合理啊
I love things that don't make sense.
我就喜欢不合理的事情
That's my gig. ?
这是我的强项
Let's figure this out together.
我们一起来把它理理顺吧
Come on.
来嘛
What can I do?
我能怎么做
That helps.
这挺有帮助
Oh, it's so weird to think that if I had taken another path,
一想到如果我走了另一边
I could be heading home right now.
我现在可能已经到家了就好怪
Wait a minute. It's like what you said before.
等等 这就像你之前说的一样
In a different universe, you could be with someone else.
在另一个不同的宇宙 你可能跟别人在一起了
Um, could we... could we change this song?
我们... 我们能换首歌吗
The poppy cadence is throwing off my more bluesy lovemaking style.
这歌的氛围有点破坏我蓝调的做爱风格
Don't you ever knock?!
你们都不敲门的吗
This is my bedroom!
这是我的卧室
I can't believe this is happening again!
我真不敢相信这种事又发生了一次
Again?
又发生吗
I wish I had gotten arrested!
我真希望我当时被逮捕走了
Mom, where are you?
妈 你在哪
I made you a Valen...
我给你做了张情人节卡...
What kind of freak show goes on here when I'm not around?
我不在的这些时候 你们都在搞什么鬼啊