摩登家庭 第九季 Modern Family Season 9 第17集: the Royal Visit

上映日期: 2,017

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 詹姆斯·R·巴格多纳斯

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·


台词
During your weekend here, you will explore ways,
这个周末 你们在此
through yoga, breathing, and other mindful practices,
将通过瑜伽 呼吸运动及其他心灵活动
to reconnect with yourself and your partner.
跟自己和跟伴侣重新建立联系
原创翻译 双语字幕
最新连载海外影视剧下载请登陆 www.YYeTs.com仅供交流学习 禁止商用盈利
Also, for a small donation,
另外 只需少许捐款
we have an on-site shaman who can heal your chakras.
我们现场的萨满巫医即可治愈你的轮穴
翻译: 洗七里 尤妮希
Small donation? Sounds like a "Chakra con".
少许捐款 听起来像是轮穴诈骗
翻译: 天体海滩赛太公
You're supposed to turn that off.
你应该要关机的
- I'm sorry. It's work. - ?Okay, so is a marriage.
-抱歉 是工作 -这还关乎婚姻呢
校对: 新浪微博@赛太公
You know, we traveled all this way.
我们大老远跑来
The least you could do is take this seriously.
你至少应该认真对待吧
I'm sorry. You're right.
抱歉 你说得对
Oh, my God, that -- that crappy breakfast was $55.
天啊 刚才那顿破早餐要55刀
时间轴: 三水
- For flax and berries. - Yeah.
-就点亚麻籽和浆果 -是啊
I thought this was supposed to be one fee up front, all in.
我以为事先一次性收费 之后就全包了
后期: 瓜瓜 总监: 怀念浓子的瓜瓜
I wish you were all in, Mitchell.
我倒希望你"全包式"投入 米奇尔
I'm sor-- I am. Starting...now.
抱歉 我是 从现在开始
Okay. ?
好了
打开微信 扫描左侧二维码或搜索公众号: 美剧炸了了解最新影视资讯字幕信息
That wasn't me.
不是我手机响
I have invited the Tibetan Singing Bowl to ring,
我邀请了西藏颂钵来发出回响
reminding us to all turn down the volume
提醒我们降低音量
and find the beauty in silence.
在静默中找到美
That was unfortunate.
很不幸
My apologies. We happen to be next door to the Royals.
抱歉 我们隔壁正好是皇家[队]
Oh, my God, we just binged "The Crown".
天啊 我们刚狂看完皇室剧《王冠》
W-W-Which royals? William and Kate?
哪些皇室成员 威廉和凯特吗
剧中演员梅格汉·马克尔即将与哈里王子完婚
Harry and the "Suits" girl?
还是哈里和《诉讼双雄》妹
Actually, it's the Kansas City Royals. Spring training,
事实上是堪萨斯城皇家队 他们正在春训
their practice field is next door.
他们的训练场地就在隔壁
Growing up a Royals fan, it was always my dream
我从小就是皇家队粉丝 看他们进行春训
to see them at spring training.
一直是我的梦想
So, I just decided, after the retreat was over,
于是我决定 等静修结束
I'm just gonna swing by,
我就过去看看
you know, grab an autograph,
要个签名什么的
maybe whisper an opinion in the manager's ear,
也许在经理耳边说些建议
be discovered as a great baseball mind.
被发现本人极具棒球头脑
Then the Yankees would come calling,
然后洋基队就会来找我
and then I'd have to choose between the team I love
再然后我就不得不在热爱的球队
and the -- the big payout.
和高薪之间做选择
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
现在想这些有点太着急了
Not to worry. This is their last day of training,
无须担心 这是他们最后一天训练
and they leave tonight.
他们今晚就走了
- Excuse me, question. ?- Yes.
-不好意思 我有问题 -你说
Yes, hi. Will we have an opportunity to explore
你好 请问我们会否有机会
these -- these beautiful grounds on our own?
自行探索这个美丽的庭院
Absolutely. Tomorrow at sunset.
当然 明天日落时
山羊躺在或踩在人身上来进行
After goat yoga.
进行完山羊瑜伽后
Oh, my God! Can it get any worse?!
天啊 还能更衰一点吗
家 庭
摩 登
第九季 第十七集
What are you doing?
你在干嘛
I grunted less when I was giving birth to Joe.
我生乔的时候都没哼那么大声
You were pushing six and a half pounds, I'm pushing 220.
你只是推出6磅半 我可是撑起220磅
You're dressing younger.
你穿了更年轻的衣服
You're exercising.
你在锻炼身体
You only had one breakfast this morning.
今早你只吃了一份早餐
- Who is she, Jay? I'll kill her. - ?Relax, would ya?
-那个淫妇是谁 杰 我要杀了她 -冷静点
I'm just trying to get in shape.
我只是想保持身材
Okay, but hurry, because we have to go
好吧 不过快点
and pick up Joe at the birthday party.
我们还要去生日派对那接乔
Wait a minute.
等一下
Is that what this is all about --
你做这么多就是因为这个吗
Henry's father?
亨利的爸爸
I don't understand why you're so insecure
我不明白你为何如此不安
just because he's younger,
就因为他比你年轻
stronger, and more rugged than you are.
比你强壮 比你粗犷
Go easy. I'm working on only one breakfast.
悠着点 我在努力只吃一份早餐了
Joe won't shut up about his new friend's dad.
乔一天到晚说他新朋友的爸爸
"Henry's dad is so tough". Who cares?
"亨利的爸爸好爷们哦" 谁在乎啊
He was a stunt double in a couple of "Bourne" Movies.
他在几部《谍影重重》里当过特技替身
From the first time Joe went over there,
从乔第一次去他们家
that guy's been trying to prove how cool he is.
那家伙就不停地想证明自己有多酷
Joe! Let's go!
乔 走了
Heads up!
小心
- What the hell?! -Yeah!
-什么鬼 -耶
He's Jason Bourne!
他是杰森·伯恩
《谍影重重》系列的男主角
That's make-believe.
那都是演的
扮演伯恩的美国男演员
Matt Damon's Jason Bourne.
马特·达蒙才是杰森·伯恩
Growing up, I thought my dad was the coolest.
小时候 我觉得我爸是最酷的人
And that made me feel good about myself.
那让我对自己也感觉良好
I mean, I try to stay with it.
我是说 我努力赶上他
Exactly! Look at you, you even have a smart watch.
没错 瞧瞧你 你还有智能手表呢
Yeah, the damn thing tells me when to stand up,
对 这玩意告诉我何时站起来
when to breathe.
何时呼吸
Your body mass index is --
你的体重指数是...
Nobody asked!
没人问你
Which have more chromosomes, potatoes or humans?
哪个有更多染色体 土豆还是人类
Humans, right?
人类 对吧
Potatoes?!
居然是土豆
Oh, Krazy Kups, what can't you teach us?
小疯杯 还有你教不了我们的事吗
Are you doing all this to impress Haley's boyfriend?
你做这些都是为了让海莉男朋友觉得你厉害吗
Haley's dating this genius astrophysics professor
海莉在跟一个天才天体物理学教授谈恋爱
who's somehow making her smarter
不知怎的 他让她变聪明了
because, last week, I called Pluto a planet
因为上周 我说冥王星是行星
and Haley laughed at me.
结果海莉嘲笑我
In pity.
同情傻子那种笑
- Haley. - ?Haley.
-海莉耶 -海莉
Haley.
傻妹海莉
Do we think that Haley is suited to a professor,
我们该认为海莉跟教授能合适吗
because I more saw her with a Gilligan type?
我觉得他跟傻汉比较合适呢
Come on, now. Lots of happy couples
别这样 很多幸福的情侣
aren't the exact same level of smart.
智商都不在一个境界
That's true. We work.
这倒是真的 我俩就行得通
Yeah.
是啊
Wait. When you say, "We work,"
等等 你说我俩就行得通
do you think you're smarter than me or I'm smarter than you?
你是觉得你比我聪明 还是我比你聪明
I think I'm smart enough not to have this conversation.
我想我够聪明到不跟你讨论这个
Oh, my God!
老天
You do! You think you're smarter than me!
你就这么想 你认为你比我聪明
Okay, hotshot. How many patents do you have?
好啊 天才 你有多少项专利
Headscratcher TM, Aspirin Gun,
挠头器[第3季第9集] 阿司匹林枪
Polite Car Horn that'll put an end to road rage.
能让开车人士不再发脾气的礼貌汽车喇叭
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
不好意思三连
Can we just not get into a whole thing before this lunch?
在这顿午餐前能不能先别争论这个
What lunch? I just ate a pie.
什么午餐 我刚吃了个派
Your sister is dating a professor of astrophysics,
你姐姐在跟一个天体物理学教授交往
and he's coming here today to meet us.
他今天要来见我们
Oh, good, someone to talk to.
真好 有人跟我聊天了
I'm tired of dumbing it down for you chuckle-heads.
我受够为了你们俩傻子而特意降低水平了
Bill, are you on your way?
比尔 你出发了吗
Stay in the car. I'll meet you outside.
待在车里 我到外面找你
It was hard for me when Haley started dating Arvin,
海莉开始跟阿尔文交往后 我挺难受的
my professor and science hero and...
他可是我的教授和科学英雄
okay, fine, crush.
好吧 我还暗恋他
I was so upset, I went home, and I may have overindulged...
我很难过 跑回家了 然后可能太过放纵了
on Bagel Bites.
吃了很多贝果
It's okay. You're safe.
没事 你安全了
But I'm gonna need you to come with me.
但你得跟我走
I don't really think you need --
你也没必要...
Okay. He was like a superhero.
好吧 他就像超级英雄
Is that your dad?
那是你爸爸吗
A beautiful...
一个英俊
not-so-smart superhero.
但智商欠奉的超级英雄
The last thing I wanted was Professor Fennerman
我最不想要的就是费诺曼教授
finding out I was dating a dummy.
发现我在跟一个笨蛋约会
A sweet, chiseled dummy.
一个贴心 轮廓分明的笨蛋
Alex, you didn't mention you've got a firefighter boyfriend.
艾丽克丝 你没说过你有个消防员男朋友啊
Yeah! It's great.
是啊 很棒
"Take that, you fire". We gotta go.
"看我灭了你 火" 我们得走了
Oh, but your parents just invited me to stay for lunch.
但你父母刚邀我留下吃午餐
Score!
赚到啦
By the way, you look way younger than your poster.
顺便说一下 你比海报上看起来年轻多了
We really should get going before we --
我们真的该走了 不然...
we miss our plans and stuff, right?
会赶不上行程计划 对吧
- Yeah. - ?Uh, yeah...
-嗯 -是吧
Alex! I didn't know you were joining us for lunch.
艾丽克丝 我不知道你要一起吃午餐
Oh! No, no.
不 不
My friend and I have some plans we really can't get out of.
我朋友跟我有安排了 不能取消
Oh, no, I could totally just show you "Backdraft" later.
不 我可以晚点再给你看《烈火雄心》
It's my brother's DVD. He doesn't even know I took it. So...
是我哥的影碟 他都不知道我拿走了
?Mom, Dad, this is Arvin.
爸爸妈妈 这是阿尔文
Hello, Arvin. It's a pleasure to meet you.
阿尔文你好 很高兴认识你
Yes, you are the first TED Talkin' science superstar
没错 你可是我们家接待的第一位担任过
we've ever had in our house.
TED演讲嘉宾的科学超级巨星
此会议邀请各领域的杰出人士进行演讲
超新星是某些恒星在演化接近末期时经历的一种剧烈爆炸
Well, as long as I'm a "Superstar" and not a supernova.
只要我是超级巨星而不是超新星就好了
You don't even know what you're laughing at.
你们都不知道自己在笑什么
- I get it. - I got it more.
-我懂了 -我更懂
该低俗搞笑片主角也是英国人
I don't get it, but, uh, you sound like Austin Powers, man.
我没听懂 但你的口音像《王牌大贱谍》的主角
Wow. Henry's dad did such a great job
亨利的爸爸为孩子们办的生日派对
with the birthday party for the kids, huh?
真棒啊 对吧
"Henry's dad". "Henry's dad".
左一句亨利爸爸 右一句亨利爸爸
I took Joe to see "African Queen" in CinemaScope.
我可是带乔到宽银幕影院看过《非洲女王号》
Oh, hey. Good to see you again, Jay.
又见面了 杰
- Hi. - Hi, I'm Clay.
-你好 -你好 我是克莱
I'd shake your hand, but I'm a little banged up.
我想跟你握手 但我手受伤了
I fell out of a five-story building this morning, into a net.
我今早从五层高的大楼摔下来 落到网子上
?He fell out of bed this morning.
他今早从床上摔下来
Hey, honey.
老婆
Come down and meet these guys.
下来打个招呼
Oh, hey!
Welcome. I'm Jenny, Henry's mom.
欢迎 我是珍妮 亨利的妈妈
Joe's parents -- Jay, Gloria.
我们是乔的爸妈 杰和歌洛莉亚
Hi. ?Gloria.
你好 歌洛莉亚
Mama! Henry's mom just did the wall so fast!
妈妈 亨利的妈妈爬墙速度超快的
You try it.
你也试试
Oh, I climb already into these heels this morning.
我今早已经辛苦爬上这双高跟鞋了
It's too much for me today.
我今天运动量够了
- I'm going up again! - Okay.
-我要再爬一次 -好的
Oh, I used to love wearing shoes like that.
我以前也很爱穿这种鞋子
But after marching around in combat boots for two years,
但穿军靴行军两年后
I made a deal with my feet I would never hurt them again.
我跟我的脚约好 我再也不会伤害它们
My beautiful wife did two tours in Iraq.
我美丽的太太被派驻到伊拉克两次
Oh. ?Wow, Gloria, you're not that different.
歌洛莉亚 你也差不多啊
Yesterday, she did two tours of a sales rack.
昨天 她同一个货架逛了两次
Help! I'm too high!
救命 我爬太高了
Oh. ?Go ahead, just jump, buddy. I'll catch ya.
来吧 跳下来 我会接住你
But your sciatica!
可你有坐骨神经痛
I'm on it.
交给我
What is the hurry? He's on a rope.
有什么可急的 有安全绳
- She's making quite a meal out of this. ?- Yeah.
-她可真能借机耍帅 -是啊
Attaboy.
好小子
Thank you, Jenny. You're so cool.
谢谢你 珍妮 你太酷了
Ah, look at that, Gloria. She saved him.
快看 歌洛莉亚 她救了他
Just like she saved America.
就像她救了美国一般
Can I have some more cake? Jenny made it.
我们能再吃点蛋糕吗 是珍妮做的
I used to cook for my squadron.
我过去总给我的中队做吃的
You've done so many great things
你做了这么多厉害的事
that you keep telling us about.
可以没完没了说给我们听
Here we are -- our sensory deprivation tanks
我们到了 感官剥夺池
will disconnect you from the world
能让你与世界隔离
and connect you with yourselves.
联结自我
Okay, so, this looks a little coffin-y.
这看起来有点像棺材
So, I'm not so sure. About my husband.
我说不好 因为我丈夫
He had an MRI last year, and he sort of freaked out.
他去年做核磁共振时恐慌发作了
So, do you have anything bigger,
所以你们有没有大点的
like, an indoor pool or a family tank?
例如室内泳池或家庭型的水池
Okay, Mitchell, I-I'm fine.
米奇尔 我没事
We're here to evolve and grow...
我们是来进化成长的
So, the float lasts for one hour,
漂浮时间是一小时
during which most people simply experience a deep, relaxed state.
大部分人会体验到一种深层的放松状态
Most people? W-what about the rest?
大部分人 那其余的人呢
W-what do they experience?
他们体验到什么了
Okay, a-are these scratches on this lid here?
这个盖子上是抓痕吗
Oh, come on, Mitchell.
别这样 米奇尔
The flower that blooms in adversity
逆境中绽放的花朵
is the most rare and beautiful of all.
是最珍稀最美丽的
Very well put.
说得真好
He didn't make that up. It's from "Mulan".
那不是他的话 是《花木兰》里的
Our daughter made us watch it a thousand times.
我们女儿逼我们看了上千遍
I -- Well, I'm lashing! Okay, maybe we should just float.
我发脾气了 好吧 或许我们该漂一下
- Yeah, let's just float. - ?Yeah, okay.
-没错 我们漂浮吧 -好
Okay.
好的
I tried to relax in there, I really did.
我在里面试着放松了 我真的试了
But it was difficult.
但太困难了
I-I guess because I felt like I was, um --
我想是因为我当时觉得
Oh, what's the word?
该怎么说
Dying.
要死了
But I got past that,
但我挺过了那个阶段
only to start reliving every mistake I have ever made,
结果开始回味我犯过的每一个错误
like when I went to an Oscar party and I said
例如我去了一场奥斯卡派对
贝蒂·戴维斯 1908年出生的杰出女演员
"Bett" Davis in front of a room full of vicious gays.
在一群毒舌基佬面前念错"贝蒂·戴维斯"
Honestly, the only thing that kept me in there
说实话 唯一能让我坚持住的原因
was the knowledge that Cam was right next door.
就是知道小卡就在我隔壁
Go Royals! I-I love you!
皇家队加油 我爱你们
It was a solid plan --
那是个周密的计划
just go for a quick peek, take some pictures,
我就去看一眼 拍点照片
run back, splash some water in my hair,
赶回来 往头发上泼点水
"Oh, Mitchell, isn't floating so relaxing?"
"米奇尔 漂浮真让人放松啊"
- Got it! - Nice catch.
-接住了 -接得好
Oh. ?That was good.
接得真好
Oh, my gosh. Uh, M-mr. Brett.
我的天 布列特先生
I didn't know you would be here.
我不知道您会在这
皇家队传奇选手乔治·布列特现在是该队的行政副总裁
Hi. Call me George.
叫我乔治
- Oh, George. ?- Yeah, how are ya?
-乔治 -你好吗
Uh, good. My name's Cameron.
我很好 我叫卡梅隆
Nice to meet you, Cam.
很高兴认识你 小卡
Nice to meet you. Been a fan for --
很高兴认识您 我一直是您的粉丝
Hey, do you mind if I get a picture?
您介意我拍张照片吗
Not at all. Not at all.
完全不 完全不
300 bucks, how's that sound?
三百美元 怎么样
I'm retired.
我退休了
- 300? ?- I'm just kidding.
-三百 -我开玩笑的
- Come on, it's free. - Okay -- Ow!
-快来 不要钱 -好
Alright. ?There it is.
太好了 拍好了
- There they are! ?- There ya go!
-拍好了 -好啊
Well, listen, I don't want to take up too much of your time.
我不想占用您太多时间
- Thank you s- - ?I got all the time in the world.
-太感谢了 -我有的是时间
I'm not playing. I'm just coaching.
我又不上场 我只是教练
- Okay. - ?Yeah. Come here.
-那好 -快来
Let me tell you the story about the Pine Tar game.
我给你讲讲松焦油门的事
松焦油有助于打者握棒 在83年的一场比赛他被检举使用过量应取消得分 最后被驳回
You wanna hear that?
你想听吗
- Sure. ?- Come on.
-当然 -快来
- Okay. ?- But first, let me tell you about --
-好的 -但我先给你讲讲
I'm gonna tell you about dinner the night before.
我从前一晚的晚饭讲起
You must be the genius boyfriend.
你肯定是那个天才男友
That is what the guys call me.
大伙都那么叫我
They're always, like, you know,
他们总那么叫
"Hey, genius". I'm like, "Hey, guys".
"天才" 我就说"大伙"
So, tell me, are there aliens?
告诉我 有没有外星人
You kidding? 100%.
你认真的吗 百分之百有
Oh, I knew it. Wait, and the zombiepocalypse?
我就知道 等等 那僵尸世界末日呢
Dude, I tell everyone,
哥们 我总对所有人说
"Start building up an immunity to zombie bites. Now".
"现在就开始培养对僵尸病毒的免疫力"
I'm so glad we talked.
和你聊两句我收获良多
Um. Sorry for the interruption.
抱歉我刚才得去接电话
Everything okay?
一切还好吗
Well, the short story is, yes.
简单来说 是的
The long story is, the theory on which I've based
展开来说 我用了职业生涯大部分时间
much of my career has just been disproven.
来研究的理论刚刚被证明是错误的
What? Your Vacuum Energy Density Theory?
什么 你的真空能量密度理论
I'm-I'm so sorry.
我很遗憾
Me, too. That was the density theory I thought really worked.
我也是 那是我最支持的密度理论
Really, Phil, what was your second choice?
真的吗 菲尔 你的第二支持的理论是什么
Well, that's all part of the process, isn't it?
这都是研究过程的一部分 不是吗
My theory actually invalidated someone else's.
而我的理论也让别人的理论无效了
He jumped off a building --
那人跳楼了
just very dramatic.
非常戏剧化
But, well, I'm British. So, no worries.
但我是英国人 所以别担心
What smells so good?
什么菜这么香
Uh. Uh, it's the chicken!
是鸡肉
So, Bill, you are a firefighter?
比尔 你是消防员
Yeah, my three favorite things are helping people,
是的 我最喜欢的三件事是帮助他人
sliding down poles, and hanging off trucks,
滑竿和在大卡车上待着
so I figured might as well make a career out of it.
所以我想不如就拿这个当事业吧
Well, it's good that your favorite things
幸好你最喜欢的三样东西
weren't chloroform, duct tape, and windowless vans.
不是氯仿 布基胶带和没有窗口的货车
Claire, the joke is he'd be a kidnapper.
克莱尔 这个笑话是说他是绑匪
I got it.
我听懂了
You know, Phil used to think
要知道 菲尔过去以为
it was "duck" tape.
那个词是"鸭子"[音似]胶带
Like, duck.
鸭子
Claire didn't understand the ending of "La La Land".
克莱尔没看懂《爱乐之城》的结局
Sorry. They're not normally like this.
抱歉 他们平时不是这样的
Clearly, they're going through something
很显然他们在争论某件事
they can't even drop for one important lunch.
连这么重要的午餐都不能休战一会
They're arguing over who's smarter,
他们在争论谁更聪明
and there's only one way to settle it.
而这事只有一个方法能解决
Another time, in the presence of a marriage counselor?
改天去找婚姻顾问解决吗
Nope. Brain Battle.
不 头脑大战
No. No, we're not doing that right now.
不 不 我们现在不能玩这个
I'm so sorry, Arvin. We're being silly.
我很抱歉 阿尔文 我们真不该这样
"How many presidents died in office?"
有多少位总统在职期间去世
- Eight. - Six.
-八位 -六位
The correct answer is eight.
正确答案是八位
Damn it. Give me another one.
见鬼 再问一个
Why was six afraid of seven?
六为什么害怕七
'Cause seven, eight, nine.
因为七"扒"九
Like he "ate" it.
它"扒了"九
"Who wrote 'Moby Dick'?"
《白鲸记》是谁所著
Herman Munster. Herman Munster.
赫尔曼·曼斯特 赫尔曼·曼斯特
- Herman Melville. - Melville!
-赫尔曼·麦尔维尔 -麦尔维尔
"How many moons does Jupiter have?"
木星有多少颗卫星
Oh, is it alright if I take this one?
我可以回答这个问题吗
?27.
27颗
67.
67颗
Hmm? No, that's-that's wrong.
不 不是的
67 is Uranus and...
天王星才有67颗
Jupiter's 27, right, Alex?
木星是27颗 对吗 艾丽克斯
Actually, no.
其实不是的
But it's a simple mistake, though.
但那只是个小错误
You just flipped them.
你只是记反了
Well, this is mortifying, isn't it?
这太令人羞愧了不是吗
I have a doctorate in astrophysics.
我有天体物理学的博士学位
Idiot.
白痴
First, some puffed-up Swedes invalidate my life's work.
先是一个傲慢的瑞典人作废了我一生的研究
And then I'm bested by a little bedtime gurgle cup!
然后我败给了小水杯上的脑筋急转弯
I'm sorry. I'm going to need a moment.
对不起 我得自己静一静
67 moons. What an idiot.
67颗卫星 真是白痴
Well, all's I know is
我只知道
the Earth only has one moon
地球只有一个月亮[卫星]
and I saw a documentary and we didn't even land on it.
我看过一部纪录片说我们根本没登月
Oh, my God, stop talking.
我的天 闭嘴吧
You know, you're being kind of mean.
你这样有点刻薄
I'm gonna need a moment, too.
我也得自己静一静
This is why I don't bring boyfriends home.
这就是为什么我不带男友回家
Why didn't you ask me before inviting him to lunch?
你们邀请他来吃午餐之前怎么不问问我
"This Paul Newman character
保罗·纽曼在哪部电影中的角色
had a 'cool hand'?"
被称为"辣手"
- Luke! - ?Yep.
-卢克[铁窗喋血男主] -答对了
Counts! Counts.
这道也算 也算
Henry's dad climbed the wall with one hand! It was awesome!
亨利的爸爸单手攀岩 太帅了
Yeah, well, his career rides on Matt Damon
他的事业全仰仗马特·达蒙
not doing any artsy, think-y movies,
不拍需要动脑子的艺术片
so I wouldn't count on Henry
所以亨利很可能
going to your school much longer.
很快就读不起你的学校了
What the hell? I made that light.
搞什么 我赶在红灯之前了
Oh, geez. Another ticket.
老天 又一张罚单
Henry's mom drove a tank!
亨利的妈妈会开坦克
Henry's mom! Henry's mom!
亨利的妈妈 亨利的妈妈
What are you doing, Gloria?
你做什么 歌洛莉亚
I want to see Henry's mom do this!
我倒想看看亨利的妈妈这样做
Yay! He's chasing us!
他在追我们
This feels like a bad idea.
我觉得这是个馊主意
Okay, too late, because I'm already committed!
太晚了 这事情已经没有回头路了
Heart rate -- high. Heart rate -- high.
心率过高 心率过高
What is the plan, Gloria?
你打算怎么做 歌洛莉亚
We're going to the mall!
我们要去商场
You know why I tease you about your shopping?
现在知道我为什么用购物的事打趣你了吗
Well, you do have a problem.
你这的确是病
Okay, get down and don't move.
身子压低 不要动
That's gonna be tough. I can smell Cinnabon.
这可不容易 我闻到肉桂面包店的味儿了
Where have you been?
你都去哪了
I just stayed in the tank a little -- a little extra.
我在水里多泡了一阵子 加强一下
How -- What a great experience.
真是场太棒的经历了
Just being alone with yourself --
与自己独处
Oh, I was never alone.
我完全没独处到
I-I saw the face of every bully,
我看到了每个欺负我的人
I replayed every humiliation --
重新经历每一次羞辱
Is this about "Bett" Davis again?
又要提念错贝蒂名字的事了吗
Okay, we had just watched "Ruthless People".
我们当时刚看完电影《家有恶夫》
You're thinking Midler. You gotta let it go.
你弄混贝特·米德勒与戴维斯了 放手吧
I know. I'm -- I'm gonna try.
我知道啦 我会尽量
But as scared as I was in there,
但尽管我在里面感到如此害怕
I kept thinking about how
我一直不断地想着
you're the one person who makes me feel safe.
你是唯一令我感到有安全感的人
And it made me want to be a better husband... ?Aww.
让我有动力想要当一个更好的丈夫
...and to be more present, to be more understanding, to --
要给你更多陪伴 给予你更多理解 来...
Why -- Why's your face red?
为什么你的脸是红的
- Oh, is it? ?- Yeah.
-是吗 -对啊
Oh, just probably 'cause of the toxins, you know --
可能是因为排出毒素什么的吧
And your arms, too, but only up to the --
你的手臂也是 但只红到了...
You have a farmer's tan.
你这不是农夫晒吗
What have I told you about that expression?
你忘了我跟你谈过用这个形容词的事了吗
- I can say it... - ?Oh, my --
-我乡村人可以说... -天啊...
That's why you're burned. You went Royal watching!
我知道你为什么晒伤了 你去看皇家队了
I was only gonna stay for a second, but George Brett --
我本来就打算看两眼就走 但乔治·布列特
George -- George Brett cornered me.
乔治·布列特硬拉着我
And you know how I am with famous people.
你也知道我碰到名人时是啥德行
I can't say "No".
我拒绝不了他们
Remember when I spent the entire day at the pool
你还记得我因此在泳池泡了一整天
with Downtown Julie Brown?
就因为一个小牌女明星吗
You shamed me into coming here
你让我羞愧好陪你来
only to leave me soaking in a bowl of trauma soup?
结果你把我独自丢在一碗内心创伤汤里吗
Okay, whoa, whoa. W-What happened about be--
你等一下嘛 你不是说要...
being more understanding?
要给予更多理解吗
I can't believe you're turning this into my fault.
你居然还想把这事赖成我的错
This is so like you, Cams.
太像你会做的事了 小卡
Hello, again.
两位 再次问好
Please follow me to your guided silent meditation.
请跟随我来你们的冥想课
Before we begin,
在我们开始之前
the chef has asked me to reassure everyone
大厨让我请大家放心
that there's nothing wrong with the tempeh.
丹贝绝对没有问题
It's supposed to taste that way.
它吃起来就是那个味道
Alright.
好了
Deep breath. In through the nose.
深呼吸 从鼻腔吸入
Out through the mouth.
从鼻腔吐出
Only in silence can we be truly present.
只有在静默中我们才能真正存在
But be prepared --
但请准备好
errant feelings may arise.
杂念可能会浮现
Anxiety, doubt, anger...
焦虑 怀疑 怒火
Now, take a breath and let those feelings pass
再一次呼吸 让那些情绪
like clouds in the sky.
像天空的云朵般随风而去
The tension is melting away.
紧绷的内心慢慢舒缓开来
That's it.
就是这样
Live in this moment
活在这
of serenity and stillness.
平静与静止的时刻
We're so accustomed to going, going, going.
我们太习惯了要不停地冲刺再冲刺
But we need to just stop.
但我们需要的是停下
Ask yourself the important questions.
扪心自问这个重要的问题
Are you running away from difficult feelings?
你是在逃离那些难解的情绪吗
Are you holding on to petty grievances?
你在紧抓着小肚鸡肠的事不放吗
Are you being the best you?
你有在做最好的自己吗
It's not too late to find your way back.
现在找回原来的道路还不晚
To the light,
回到光明
to forgiveness,
回到原谅
to love.
回到爱
It was amazing.
太神奇了
There were no words,
虽然没用语言
but I could feel Cam
但我能感到小卡
taking full responsibility for our fight.
为我们的争吵表示负全部责任
Total silence, but Mitchell's eyes said,
完全没有语言 但米奇尔的眼神写了
"It's all on me".
"一切都是我的错"
You know, "I was wrong. What would I do without you?"
就是"我错了 没有你我该怎么办啊"
It was a beautiful weekend.
真是个太美妙的周末了
Plus, George Brett signed my ball.
而且乔治·布列特给我的球签名了
Oh, "To Cam, all my best wishes, George Brett.
"给小卡 祝你万事如意 乔治·布列特
P.S. We are not done with this"?
附注 这事儿我们俩没完"
Mitchell!
米奇尔
Did you write on my ball?!
你在我的球上写字了吗
Hey, where's Bill?
比尔上哪去了
I don't know. He's probably outside.
我不知道 他估计在外面
When he gets agitated, he likes to climb stuff.
他焦虑的时候就喜欢爬东西
That lunch was insane. Can you believe Mom and Dad?
午饭真是神经病啊 你敢相信爸妈会这样吗
No, and, uh, I can't believe you either.
不啊 但我也没想到你会这样
You're so mean to Bill.
你对比尔太毒了吧
What do you have against hot people?
你跟高魅力人群有仇吗
- What did we ever do to you? - ?You lost me.
-我们是哪里对不起你了 -你说什么呢
You're gonna blow it with that guy,
你摆明会甩了那男的
and he's really nice.
人家明明很好
Why do you have to make him feel so dumb?
你为什么要让人家觉得自己是白痴呢
Okay, you don't know what you're talking about.
行了 你根本就是不懂在瞎扯
Oh, yes, I do.
我可懂了
Because it's the same way you've always treated me.
因为你对待他跟对待我都用同种方式
It sucks.
超不爽
You know what Arvin never does?
你知道阿尔文从不做什么事吗
Makes me feel less smart than him.
让我觉得自己比他笨
So, who cares if Bill's not a member of Menses?
比尔不是"天柴"俱乐部的又如何
Look, this is the first boyfriend you've ever had
他好歹是你第一个交往过的
that is age appropriate, employed,
年龄与你相仿 有工作
and doesn't look like he's dying on a ship.
而且长得不像在船上快死的人
I wouldn't say "Boyfriend".
他不算是"男朋友"
He's more like a guilty pleasure.
他比较算是有罪恶感的快感
Guilty or not, that's the first time I've ever heard you
无论有没有罪恶感 好歹这是我第一次
describe a guy as a "pleasure".
形容一个男生"有快感"
Bill, I'm sorry!
比尔 对不起
All good, babe.
没事的 宝贝
You're the one fire I can't put out.
你是我唯一扑灭不了的一把火
Well, also grease is pretty tricky.
还有油类火灾也挺难扑灭
Arvin?
阿尔文
Arvin, hi. Are you okay?
阿尔文 你好 你没事吧
Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes.
没事 我没事
Um...yes. I-I-I'm just a-a little embarrassed.
没事 我只是有点羞愧
We're the ones who should be embarrassed.
我们才是该感到羞愧的人
We just made lunch so tense and weird.
我们把午餐搞得特别紧绷怪异
Yeah. ?Well, I'm --
那个 我...
I'm not terribly adept at handling failure.
我不是那么会接受失败
My parents are both overachieving academics --
我的父母都是超高成就的学者
a doctor of philosophy and a doctor of mathematics.
一个是哲学博士与数学博士
Wow! ?And Father is a doctor of medicine
而我爸爸是医学博士
and doctor of economics.
与经济学博士
I-I'm sorry. I just need to shake it off.
抱歉 我自己摆脱这情绪就行了
You know, stiff-upper-lip it.
控制好情绪
Yeah, it's fine.
我没事的
Can we just pretend it never happened?
能不能假装刚才没有发生过
No.
No, failure sucks.
不 失败很让人难受
It's okay to feel bad.
感到难受很正常啊
Yeah, wallow a little. Eat some ice cream.
想不开心就不开心吧 吃点冰激凌
Day drink, that's how you come out the other side.
白天喝酒也没事 这样才能缓过来啊
You're -- You're like the inverse of my parents.
你们 你们就像是我父母的相反版本啊
Except the drinking.
除了喝酒的部分一样
They're pickled most of the day.
他们几乎整天都醉醺醺的
Well, you're not in their house.
你现在不在父母家嘛
This is House Dunphy -- We fail here.
这里是邓菲家 我们可以失败
Right. I mean, today our whole goal
对啊 比如我们今天本来的目标
was to impress you. We made fools of ourselves.
是要给你留下好印象 结果弄巧成拙
I have a magic shop that's bleeding money -- thousands.
我开了一家不停亏钱的魔术用品店 成千在亏
- What? ?- It's fine.
-什么 -没事的
Hey, what's all this, then?
这是在干嘛[英腔]
Oh, whoa. Did I get that from you?
我这口音是被你传染的吗
Am I becoming Madonna?
我要变成麦当娜了吗
美国土生土长的知名女歌手在搬到英国后变了口音
Your parents were actually being quite lovely.
你的父母对我很好
Thank you for taking the time.
谢谢你们开导我
Oh, and my parents' walls may be adorned
或许我父母家的墙上
with nothing but degrees and awards,
挂满了各种学位证与奖项
but they don't have one tenth of your emotional intelligence.
但他们的情商不足你们的十分之一
Aww! ?Thank you.
谢谢你的夸奖
But would you say it's an absolutely equal emotional...
但你觉得我们俩的情商是完全一样吗
If you had to pick a winner --
如果要选谁比较高...
Okay, stop it.
好了 闭嘴
That was so fun.
太好玩了
My heart is racing.
我的心砰砰跳
You? My watch dialed my cardiologist.
那又如何 我的智能手表打给我的心脏医生了
I've never run from the cops before.
我从没逃过警察
Me either.
我也没有啊
Lights!
I can't wait to tell everyone how cool you guys are!
我都等不及要跟大家说你们多酷了
We're not cool, Joe.
我们不酷 乔
That's not what people do
正常人不应该
when a policeman pulls them over.
在警察叫他们靠边停时这么做
In fact, there's nothing cool about us.
其实我们俩一点酷的地方都没有
Well, I don't think we should be lumped into --
我们也不需要这么泼冷...
Lights!
Joe, there are more important things than being cool.
乔 世上还有很多比酷更重要的事
Uh, like what?
比如什么
Look, the point is, Joe, we love you too much
乔 重点是我们太爱你
to let you think dumb moves like this are okay.
把你宠到你觉得做这样的蠢事是可以的
So, what do we do now?
那我们现在该做什么
We're gonna do the right thing.
我们要做正确的事
Officer!
警官
Where's Cinnabon?
肉桂面包店在哪里啊
Sure enough, they call me out for using too much pine tar.
不用想也知道 他们检举我用太多松焦油
I run out there and just go berserk on these umpires.
我冲出去跟裁判大吵
But everybody remembers -- ?Ugh!
但大家记得...
Watch out. That's a base. ?Yeah.
小心 这里是垒包
- That's third base. - Third base.
-这里是三垒 -三垒
That's where I used to play. You remember that?
我当年也是三垒手 还记得吗
Yeah. Should we do --
当然 我们要来...
So, when you would stand here,
所以你当年会站在这里
you would just kind of basically be in an athletic --
会保持一个运动员的...
- I played college football... - ?You would get here.
-我当年打大学橄榄球 -你会站到这里
You would get right here like this and say,
会这么站在这里 然后念叨着
"Please don't hit it to me".
"千万别打到我这边来"
That's how I feel!
我也是这个感觉
I'm gonna get you back!
敢打来你就死定了