Hey, Mitchell. Claire. Saturday morning.
米奇尔 我是克莱尔 现在是周六早上
Look, I need you to buy Mom a birthday present
and say it's from the both of us.
Okay, thanks. Bye-bye --
就这样 谢谢 拜拜
No, I know it's not a voicemail.
I just don't want to hear you whine about it.
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No, no, no, those are for Alex.
不行 不行 那些是给艾丽克斯的
I'm taking them up to her dorm today.
You know how stressed she gets.
She can always use a little comfort from her loving mom.
Why does Alex get a care package and not me?
You live in a care package.
Haley, put your face on and get up here!
海莉 赶紧把人皮画上 到楼上来
We're gonna be late for work!
I'm saving up to get my own apartment,
so I've been working at the club with Luke.
Kid's my best cart girl.
I deliver drinks to golfers.
Tips are good, but, uh... it took me a couple days
小费挺可观 不过 我花了几天
to learn the finer points of the game.
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Is that Alex's old bike?
Yes, totally rebuilt.
It only took me three months and two tetanus shots.
She's been dropping hints about wanting some wheels.
Are you sure she didn't mean a --
Unicycle? No. She definitely said "wheels."
独轮车吗 不 她肯定说了"多轮"车
Well, the basket's perfect for loading up the toiletries.
Remember last time we went up there?
She was washing her hair with the powdered soap from the ladies room.
Alex is an intelligent, accomplished --
- You can just say it. ?- Scatterbrain.
Sometimes, she studies so hard
she forgets about the little things.
I'll be at the library.
Uh, honey...aren't you forgetting something?
So, this is the place I'll call home for the next four years.
And because you're a theater major,
probably the biggest apartment you'll ever have.
There are two things I want to avoid my first day of school:
getting caught leaving the shower in my aqua shoes,
and a tearful goodbye.
My classmates are gonna see me cry eventually.
I'd prefer it be during a curtain call.
so it's against my nature to give Manny what he wants:
a cold, white-people goodbye.
But I know he's sensitive,
and he's having a hard time leaving the nest,
so I'm gonna give it to him.
Where do you want your espresso machine?
On my desk is fine.
And don't worry, Trevor.
We'll pay for the beans with the money from our swear jar.
Don't forget -- no coffee after 4:00,
or you get the nightmares.
I think I can take it from here.
Thank you both for all of your help.
We will keep in touch, son.
you have just witnessed the rare perfect goodbye.
History records but few flawless farewells:
英国作家 诗人 散文家 据说他的遗言是"墙纸越来越破 而我越来越老 两者之间总有一个要先消失"
Oscar Wilde's deathbed bon mot,
Rhett Butler not giving a --
I left my white noise machine at home.
Now I have to go back there,
and risk ruining our perfect goodbye.
But you're gonna thank me, Trevor.
There's something soothing about constant background noise that...
I hope you're not... driving.
Sorry, that's usually a big hit with the golfers.
But I'm trying to avoid laugh lines.
I don't want crow's feet, so I never squint,
even if a cop is shining his flashlight directly in my eyes.
Once a week, I sleep in a wetsuit full of Vaseline.
It was like meeting myself in 30 years.
Turns out, I really held up.
Good morning, Ms. Rappaport.
- Duke, is it? ?- Yes.
Haley, shouldn't you be getting back to your cart?
Rhonda asked me to sit down.
There's a rule against staff fraternizing with members,
and you wouldn't want to make trouble for whoever
stuck their neck out to get you this job.
Oh, I recommend sticking your neck out.
It's the only nonsurgical way to prevent champagne chin.
- Speaking of which, um... - Oh, here. Let me get --
Oh, no, no, no, You sit. He's up.
不不不 你坐 让他去
You can top me off, too, Duke.
I am loving this new smoothie kick.
I-I feel like I've had more green vegetables today
than my dad's had in a lifetime.
What I love about your smoothie kick
is how much you talk about it.
Okay, if you're gonna be mean, be funny.
Aim for the bumps.
Cal likes a bit of a bumpy ride
on account of I drove a tractor into my fourth trimester.
Oh, that sound makes me so nervous.
Some poor family is about to have their life turned upside down.
they seem to be turning down our street.
So, I-I know that they're-they're heroes and all,
but a-are they sweeping up or is that on us?
Okay, you know what? We're gonna have to totally rebuild,
I'm not saying Cam definitely set the fire.
It could have been anyone who's spent years
searching for a way to justify the remodel of our kitchen.
Are you actually accusing me of starting this fire
just so we could rebuild our hideous kitchen?
but when you say things like "hideous kitchen,"
it does make me wonder.
This could be the cause.
Most kitchen fires start in the oven.
Oh, my God, did-did I leave the oven on?
Well, it appears we found our smoking "bun."
she's been here all summer, so this could be pretty rough.
Remember last time there was a rat in her room.
She's a scientist. She said it was part of a study.
Honey, it was in a cereal box.
Okay, time to be heroes.
Change a bed sheet, change the world.
I completely forgot you guys were coming.
Oh, yeah, I'm so sorry.
I wasn't expecting you guys, so... sock.
Oh, is that my old bike?
- Spruced it up for you. - That's great.
I actually just bought a new one, though.
Guess you can use that one for parts.
What do we have here? An electric mitten holder.
It's a rock-paper-scissors robot I just built.
Its sensors anticipate your next move.
Maybe for civilians.
But I've been trained in the art of sleight of... hand!
Honey, I got you some snacks that don't crumb up quite so easily.
I'll just tuck them away in this...
fully-stocked snack cabinet.
Don't forget the paper towels, the paper plates,
and the toilet -- Rock! How?!
和卫生间的... 石头 不可思议
Seems like you're doing really, really well here.
Okay, well, I have to get to the robotics lab.
But, uh, thank you so much for visiting.
You seem to be doing so well.
We're so proud of you, Alex.
And not just because you've built
a nearly unbeatable robot. Damn it!
- Okay, well, uh... bye, you guys. - Bye!
-好吧 回见了 二位 -拜拜
- Bye, honey. ?- Bye, honey.
-拜拜 宝贝 -拜拜 宝贝
She is really coming into her own, huh?
Look what we did.
I don't know if we can take all the credit.
She wasn't like that before she got here.
You know what? We drove her here, honey.
We drove her here.
Two mustards. No one needs that.
We'll just take that one home.
That is her new dress.
She was so excited about getting this.
Why would she throw it out?
Do you think something's going on?
Maybe -- Maybe all of the cleaning and the organizing
可能 可能她打扫卫生 整理东西啊
is like a -- a coping mechanism.
Yeah, between that and the muted response to the bike...
I don't know. You think we should talk to her?
I wasn't even playing.
Gun to my head, my top three:
cheddar, Swiss, gouda.
切达奶酪 瑞士硬奶酪 高达奶酪
As someone who has actually had a gun to her head,
cheese is not what they're going to ask about.
I need a boy cave.
And don't get me started about brie.
Oh, there's no risk of that.
I'm not here, okay?
You put a lock on the closet?
That's where I'm gonna put Santa Claus when I catch him.
Sleeping pills in his cookies.
Joe, who are you talking to?
Oh, geez. We dropped you off at college two hours ago.
My God, even Haley lasted longer.
I needed my white noise machine.
Or did you need your brown noise machine?
No, and I think I'm offended for you.
It looks like you forgot that on purpose
so that you could come back to the nest.
Joe is taking over my room, and you two think I'm a wimp.
Not wimp, just soft.
And very, very scared.
Okay, can everyone please stop talking
so we can salvage our perfect goodbye?
What's with the padlock?
Let me ask you something:
How would you like to have Christmas every day?
Okay, I've put everything out here
from the kitchen that we're gonna need.
You know what? This is gonna be fun.
Which is it -- fun or like camping?
I'm gonna take a shower.
Can't take a shower without doing a load of dishes.
And remember -- scratchy side pot, soft side you, okay?
记得 糙的一边刷锅 软的一边手拿
Cam, this is crazy.
What -- What if I wanted to make a cup of tea?
Couldn't be simpler.
Grab a tea kettle from the credenza,
warm it up on the hot plate with the water that you've used
from the hose that I snaked in through the window,
browse the tea on the mantel, and then grab our tea cup --
Where -- Oh! Lily, do our tea cup first!
茶杯在... 莉莉 先洗茶杯
Y'all need to move that 'fridgerator in your hall.
It is straight under little Cal's crib,
and the noise is keeping him up...
which is weird because he was conceived in a slaughterhouse.
- But I thought... - ?Just move it!
They figure out what started that fire?
Yeah, they think it was the oven.
I turned the oven off 'fore we went on our walk.
- You did? - ?Yeah,
'cause I'm the only responsible person around here.
Dang it! Cal rolled off the sofa again!
Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
天啊 不 不 不
There's a small chance I definitely started the fire.
- Mitchell? - ?My smoothie was a little thick.
This is convenient. Huh?
There's something I need to show you.
Yeah. What is it? Over here. Over here. Let's look.
是什么 来这儿 来这儿看
It's a vision board for my dream kitchen
I've been hiding behind your workout clothes. ?Ah.
I-I-I think I accidentally, on purpose,
subconsciously, willfully, burned our kitchen down.
Okay. I-I don't -- I don't know about that.
Um -- ?No. Let's face it.
Like Drew Barrymore, I'm an adorable fire starter.
Is this why we never have any tape?
Yes. I'm a menace, which is why you deserve
对 我是个危险人物 所以应该由你
to be in charge of this entire remodel.
Anything you say goes.
Cam, you're about to feel a lot better because
I don't hate this toaster,
and I think I can find a place for it.
I could get used to this.
I have, which is why I need to snag another meal ticket
before my late husband's fracking money runs out.
It's okay. You can swear in front of me.
How about that guy over there, playing tennis?
He's in good shape.
No, that's a negative.
I want my guys' tennis balls to be at the end of their walkers.
Okay. Uh, how about, uh...
that guy over there?
I think that's just an abandoned golf bag,
but you're starting to get me.
You know, would you like to be my personal assistant?
What would I have to do?
Apart from helping me find a new husband,
it's mostly... hanging out, drinking, going to parties.
大部分时间就是玩一玩 喝喝酒 去派对浪一浪
I am perfect for this.
I have so many references.
what about that guy going to play shuffleboard -- Mr. Voorhees?
Uh, he's a little younger than I normally do.
If it helps, he always orders
from the HeartSmart side of my cocktail menu.
You are good at this.
Let me go give that pacemaker something to do.
Haley, you're supposed to be on the course serving drinks.
We can't have people golfing sober.
They'll realize it's a waste of time.
I'm not even sure I want to be a cart girl anymore.
Rhonda asked me to be her personal assistant.
I know this isn't the most glamorous job,
but...it offers more of a future
than being an assistant to some gold digger.
Hey, good news -- Voorhees has a friend,
and he wants to fly us all to San Francisco tonight.
You're on a good path here.
You're making money. There's opportunity for advancement.
It's gonna be great.
Best hotels, best restaurants, round-the-clock nursing.
最豪华的酒店 最高档的餐厅 全天候护理
You're better than her, Haley.
- I'm in. - ?Oh, good.
The car will pick us up at 5:00, right after dinner.
Why do I even bother?
It's like what I say to you goes in one ear...
Don't know about you, but I am ready to live on my own.
Yep, it was a big responsibility taking care of my parents,
but I left a good man on the job.
Gloria, you messed up the TV, and now I can't watch my program!
歌洛莉亚 你又把电视弄坏了 我看不了节目了
Remember how you told me to say something when you sound old?
Ah, never mind. I fixed it.
Look at those beautiful flowers.
Where did they come from?
What are you making?
According to this, an ancient beverage
enjoyed by sultans and scoundrels.
"Bring in the paper, make coffee...
pick up Jay's dirty socks."
Why are you doing all this?
Manny says it's my job now.
Manny was doing all these things?
And I was so happy that you were picking up after yourself.
I haven't picked up socks since the '70s.
Huh, all this time, we're thinking we're coddling Manny,
and Manny was coddling us.
I am going to call him and tell him what a good boy he is.
Gloria, if you call him all worked up,
he'll be in tears in two seconds.
What he wanted was a nice clean exit.
We have to stay strong and give him that.
I say we distract ourselves.
I'll go to the club, crack some inappropriate jokes,
rank the astronauts, fall asleep in the sauna.
I'll go shopping with Joe.
I'm the one that is sad, not you.
Just stay focused, Phil.
No matter how realistic these robots get,
I'm always going to love you.
- Hi! Hi! - Honey!
Uh, excuse me, that's a clean room.
You can't go in there without putting on a sterile suit
and taking an air shower to remove all possible contaminants.
They really are lifelike.
I think you should handle this.
I don't, uh... I don't want to overwhelm
our -- our daughter.
That was designed to perform cardiovascular surgery.
I'm -- I'm -- I'm so sorry.
Um....where -- where are the fun ones?
I didn't hate that.
Mom, what are you doing here?
Okay, well, your father and I were leaving your room,
and we noticed, oh,
you'd thrown out that cute dress you love so much.
And I thought to myself, "Why? Why would she do that?"
And I thought maybe -- maybe you tried to wear it for a boy,
我就想 也许... 也许是你穿给某个男生看
to impress him, and it didn't go well, and it made you feel bad.
想给他留下好感 结果事与愿违 心里难受
Or, maybe I just didn't like the dress.
No, it's my fault you yelled at me.
You kids here are under extreme pressure.
- Dad... - Alex.
Did I ever tell you about a certain male cheerleader
who over-rotated during a Flying Half Toby?
He limped his way back to his dorm room
and threw out his favorite outfit,
because harem pants are for winners.
Why do you keep trying to solve a problem that doesn't exist?
I don't know. Maybe we just want to feel like you still need us.
But look at you. You don't need anything.
You're our little superstar who can do anything.
I'm not. I'm not.
I totally, totally, totally don't feel that way.
Is something wrong?
Okay, fine. if you really must know,
好吧 行 如果你们非要知道
I've been kind of feeling like an outsider here.
It's come to my attention that I may be a bit of a show-off.
There's a proof in my advanced mathematical chaos class.
It's been on the board all year. No one could solve it.
Until one night in bed, it just came to me.
And of course I had to put on my best dress for my big moment.
I just never want to see that stupid dress again.
Honey, people are always gonna be intimidated by your intellect.
Maybe it's time you showed them some of your vulnerability.
How have they not seen it?
I've been an awkward nerd my whole life.
Everywhere but here.
I know it's stinks! It's a work in progress.
No, you, uh... just dropped this.
And, actually, you've got nothing to worry about.
You're way further along than I am.
I'm kind of freaking out.
I built a rock-paper-scissors robot, and it sucks.
- I beat it 8 out of 10 times. - What?
Hey, if you're not too busy right now,
do you think maybe you'd want to help me with mine a little bit?
Nice work, partner.
Yeah, we are parenting at the highest possible level.
Highest possible level.
So, I called the hotel like you asked.
Mini-bar's stocked with rose and Ensure.
And I canceled the one reservation.
About that, uh, we need to talk.
Mr. Voorhees was a little too excited
to hear that the cart girl was tagging along.
I'm sorry, but I can't risk being upstaged
by a hot-to-trot 30-year-old.
Kind of rounded up there.
So, I'm just out as your assistant, like that?
It's harder on me than it looks.
I feel really...
There's a foursome on the seventh green that looks thirsty.
Luke! Luke, you will not regret hiring your first male cart girl.
I didn't mention, but I've been in a really dark place.
Hey, do you mind if I ditch the kerchief?
might want to hand over your belt and shoelaces, too.
Take a walk with me, Reuben.
You're low on frozen mangoes. Put it on your list.
Oh, and get me a box of lady sticks.
What -- What -- What are you making?
I'm making one of your fruit smoothies.
- Oh, Pam. - ?All right,
-小帕 -好啦 我重说
I'm making one of your homosexual smoothies.
- What the hell? ?- Oh, my gosh.
Get the hose! Get the hose! It's in the window!
去拿水管 快去拿水管 在窗户那边
Oh, Mitchell! hurry!
I bet that's what started the fire.
Well, h-how can it be
when that's the first time it's sparked ever?
Yeah, it was the oven.
I turned that off. I told Mitchell.
- She did? ?- Did you? I --
See, I feel like I'd remember that.
You let me think I burned down the kitchen when you did?
It was the only way for me to get a say in the remodel.
Oh, don't be so dramatic.
I let you pick things.
Really? Name one thing in this room that was my idea.
Oh, just one -- one thing? One thing. Mm-hmm.
就一件 一件 说一件是吗
how -- how about the blanket?
Yeah, because you said it reminded you of the blanket
you used to lay on at your grandparents' house
and eat your caramel corn when you watched
Mary Lou Retton vault her way into America's heart.
What are you talking about?
Are -- Are you seriously trying to incept a memory in my mind
to make me believe that I chose that blanket?
Oh, kind of like you made me think I burned down our kitchen?
Why do we keep doing this to each other?
I know. Are we so broken that we can't even be honest?
Speaking of broken, how about a new blender?
That is both the brand and when I want it!
okay. I have a theory...
...uh, that lets us both off the hook.
I'm inclined to be on board.
Um, we both can agree that your sister
- can be a bit of a bully. - Yes.
I'm sure growing up,
the only way to get your way was to be manipulative.
It might also be said you grew up oppressed
by one of history's great monsters --
your sister, Claire.
We're not terrible.
- They are. - They are.
I found this under your bed.
I figured you might be able to use it.
I mean, you don't want to be
the only kid in art school without a beret.
Thanks. Since you're here,
you want to meet my new roommate?
His stuff's gone.
Hi, Jay, what are you doing here?
I thought you were at the club.
You said you were going shopping.
but then I saw this little pillow.
Look -- "Wake Up, Kick Ass, Repeat."
看 "闻鸡起舞 大杀四方 反复循环"
Isn't it so Manny?
So, you got your hat, so I'm gonna...
好了 帽子已经送到了 我就先撤了
Look, if I didn't say it...
it's a big deal, you going here.
Well, if I didn't say it,
I-I couldn't have done it without you.
What are we doing?
We can hug. We're family. ?Yeah.
I'll try to make you proud.
Thank you for taking good care of us.
Well, that's what you do for the people you love.
They love you, too!
- Damn it. - There's no shame in admitting defeat.
You don't understand. He's getting tired.
He's not tired. That's the point. He's a Machine.
这才是重点 他才不会累 他是个机器
Just once, would you believe in me?!
As my wife, aren't you supposed to be my rock?
What does every mother tell their kid not to
run with? Paper!
My hand is getting tired.
Oh, I'm so sorry, buddy. Why didn't you say so?
对不起啊 小伙子 怎么不早点说
- No. - And still champion!