摩登家庭 第九季 Modern Family Season 9 第20集: Mother!

上映日期: 2,017

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 詹姆斯·R·巴格多纳斯

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·


台词
Daddies will miss you both so much! Have the best time!
爸爸们会很想你俩的 玩得开心哦
Bye, honey.
再见 亲爱的
* We're alone! We're alone! We're alone! We're alone! *
* 家里只有我俩了 只有我俩了 *
There's a box out here marked fruit of the month.
外面有个盒子 上面写着每月水果
原创翻译 双语字幕
最新连载海外影视剧下载请登陆 www.YYeTs.com仅供交流学习 禁止商用盈利
I'm assuming that means one of you won a contest.
我想是因为你们赢了比赛才有 不是买的吧
So, Pam's moving back home
小帕在我们家楼上
翻译: 洗七里 冰蓝
after living in our upstairs unit for like three years.
住了大概三年后 终于要搬回家了
Uh, okay, it's been a year and nine days,
行了 就一年零九天
翻译: 内心恶魔赛太公
and she chopped us all that wood.
她帮我们砍了那木头呢
Plus, she's taking Lily back to see my parents.
而且她带莉莉回去见我父母
It's birthing season so she gets to name her first pig.
现在是生育季 莉莉可以给她第一只小猪取名了
校对: 新浪微博@赛太公
Oh, and then we slaughter it on her 13th birthday.
等她13岁生日时我们就杀了那猪
There's prayers and dancing.
那时会有祈祷 也有跳舞
时间轴: 三水
It's not unlike your standard bar mitzvah.
跟标准的犹太成年礼大同小异啦
犹太人不吃猪肉
Except a lot more pork and a lot less Jews.
不过多了很多猪肉 少了很多犹太人
后期: 瓜瓜 总监: 怀念浓子的瓜瓜
Anyway, we're excited to have the house to ourselves again.
总之 我们很高兴又能在家单独相处了
* Naked breakfast, naked breakfast *
* 裸体早餐 裸体早餐 *
打开微信 扫描左侧二维码或搜索公众号: 美剧炸了了解最新影视资讯字幕信息
Just ignore it.
别管了
* Making sausages and grits, barely coverin' our bits *
* 做着香肠和粗燕麦粉 衣不遮体 *
* Cookin' a frittata while wearin' nada *
* 煎着意大利烘蛋饼 一丝不挂 *
I knew you two would keep the side door unlocked.
我就知道你俩不会锁侧门
What would you do if I were a deranged psychopath?
如果我是变态神经病 你们会怎么做
I'd probably start with, "Hi, Mom, what are you doing here?"
我也许会先说 "妈妈 你来这干什么"
Jerry and I had a terrible row!
杰瑞和我大吵一架
Well, put on some pants so we can hug.
穿条裤子吧 我们好拥抱
- Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Back to back.
-好吧 -背靠背
Why didn't we just back out?
我们为什么不倒退着出去
I don't know, but we're already committed to this.
我不知道 但都开始了就接着这么走完吧
家 庭
摩 登
第九季 第二十集
Okay, last run, and then we clean up
好 最后一次试飞 然后我们就开始收拾
or your mom will be mad. hang on, here we go.
不然你妈妈会生气的 等等 成功了
And go!
去吧
Nice job.
做得好
Keep her steady.
保持稳定
- Okay. - Got this.
-好 -你可以的
No!
Oh, no.
不好
Oh, no!
不好
I recently sat for
我最近坐着
my Pritchett's Closets presidential portrait.
让人画了普里契特橱柜董事长肖像
It's a dumb tradition my dad started,
这是我爸开始的愚蠢传统
but I kind of love the way mine turned out.
但我挺喜欢我的画像的
At least it's more understated than his.
至少这比他的画像更低调
The colors are muted
色彩柔和
and I am not wearing a sash and service revolver.
我也没穿饰带和佩枪
We're dead.
我们死定了
We never should have played with --
我们不该玩...
Where is the drone? Did you turn it off?
无人机呢 你把它关了吗
I was asleep.
人家在睡觉好吗
Wow, this place looks dynamite.
这地方看起来很棒啊
I wanted to give Manny a nice premiere for his movie.
我想为曼迪准备一个很棒的电影首映式
He's been in such a dry spell creatively.
他最近创意进入了瓶颈期
That modern dance recital was like...
那次现代舞表演...
Ugh, I couldn't even look at that leotard.
我都没眼看那件紧身衣[大便]
Okay, yeah, he's a terrible dancer,
是啦 他是个糟糕的舞者
but you don't have to use that word.
但你没必要说那个词吧
For my film class, I wrote and directed a short.
为了交电影课作业 我创作并导演了一部短片
I felt the horror genre was the best way to grapple with
我认为恐怖片类型最好地阐述了
the struggles of our time.
我们这一时代的艰难挣扎
When Manny first came to me with the project...
曼尼一开始带着这项目来找我时
You read a script I left out and you elbowed your way in.
你读了我放在家里的剧本 然后就强势参与了
Semantics. I was gonna be the silent money.
意思差不多 我本打算当个静默投资人
But it turns out I've got some natural storytelling talent,
但原来我天生有叙事天赋
so I took on a more creative role.
所以我执掌了更偏创作方面的职位
In spite of that, I got my first "A."
即使如此 我也拿到了我的第一个A
Our first "A."
我们的第一个A
I can't deal with my mother's marriage drama right now.
我现在没法处理我妈妈的婚姻闹剧
Nobody gets the love-lorn back on their feet
没谁能比我们能更快劝好失恋的人
and out the door faster than we do.
恢复心情 离开咱家
We'll just trot out our -- our trusty "Heartbreak kit."
我们只需拿出我们可靠的"心碎工具箱"
Is that in the closet next to the earthquake kit?
在柜子里的地震工具箱旁边的那个吗
And the Eartha Kitt.
还有艾萨·凯特[音似工具箱]
美国知名老牌黑人女歌手
Did you put those all in the same place just to delight me?
你把那些东西放在一起是为了哄我高兴吗
I did.
是的
So, you have wine, a self-help book,
有红酒 一本自助书
a-a pillow shaped like the platonic ideal
形状是柏拉图式男性身体的抱枕
of a male torso for cuddling and/or punching...
可供你拥抱或和撒气
And a DVD we made for you called
还有我们给你录的DVD
the "Donna Summer Olympics."
叫"唐娜·莎曼[夏季]奥运会"
It's a compilation of all the sexiest male athletes
是最性感男运动员们
accompanied by the high queen of disco.
搭配迪斯科女王的合集
Oh, you boys.
你们这些小伙子啊
So sensitive to a woman's needs.
真懂得洞悉女人的需求
Unlike Jerry.
不像是杰瑞
Did I tell you that his mother is living with us?
我跟你们说了他妈妈跟我们住一起吗
Yeah, no discussion.
没经过讨论
She just shows up with her birds.
她就带着鸟出现了
Well, you know, Mom, relationships take sacrifice.
妈妈 感情是需要牺牲的
I mean, when Cam's sister Pam moved in,
小卡的姐姐小帕搬来时
it w-- it was hard on me.
我也很难接受
I-I was constantly worried about
我一直都担心
the lost money on the upstairs rental and...
损失掉的楼上房间租金
You know, Mitchell, maybe we shouldn't discuss money.
米奇尔 也许我们不该讨论钱
It can be a bit unseemly.
有些不得体
I wasn't planning on being unseemly,
我没打算表现得不得体
a word I've never heard you use before.
这个词我之前从未听你用过
I-I'm simply saying how stressful
我只是在说
having a long-term house guest can be and...
有个长期的留宿客人压力有多大
Oh. ?Oh, sweetie, yeah, take a breath.
亲爱的 深呼吸
Oh, my -- Oh, my -- Oh, my God. No. No.
天啊 天啊 不 不
You used to do this when I was young.
我小时候你就这样做
Did you get this move from my mother?
这动作你是从我妈妈那儿学的吗
Mitchell, there is no reason for this uns-- um, high-temper --
米奇尔 没必要这样不... 脾气这么大
Unseemly! You were gonna say "Unseemly"!
不得体 你打算说"不得体"
Unseemly! You stole that word from her.
不得体 你是从她那学到的这个词
Okay, okay, okay. W-What's going on here?
好吧 怎么回事
Are you two, um... friends?
你俩是 朋友吗
Yes.
是的
We talk on the phone, e-mail, exchange recipes.
我们聊电话 发邮件 交换食谱
Oh. Oh, is she the reason we've been eating so much quinoa?
是因为她我们才经常吃藜麦吗
- It's a super-food. - It's a super-food.
-那是超级食物 -那是超级食物
Okay, okay. Can I talk to you for a second?
够了 我能和你聊聊吗
Come on.
Okay, no reason to lie about it, 'cause I already know.
好 没必要撒谎 因为我已经知道了
How long have you been involved with this woman?
你跟这女人联系多久了
Can I ask a question? Is there a chance you're just
我能问个问题吗 是不是有可能
kind of making this all about Mitchell?
你在把事情焦点全带到自己身上了
That's her.
是她
Your mouth is moving, but that is her talking.
你的嘴在动 但这都是她的语言
Okay, don't you see what's happening?
你没看出发生了什么吗
She's manipulating you to manipulate me.
她在操控你来控制我
Don't you think I'm smart enough to know
难道你不觉得我够聪明 能看出来
if I'm being used?
我是否被利用了吗
I also have a mom.
我也有个妈妈
You're out of your league here, bumpkin!
你太高估自己了 土包子
Okay, this is a city mother!
这可是城里的妈妈
Wow. What happened to the seemly man I married?
跟我结婚的那个得体男人上哪儿去了
You can't use it like that.
这词不能这样用
Okay, how's it looking?
看起来怎么样
Not bad.
还行
Who would've thought Mom and Teddy Roosevelt
谁会想到妈妈和泰迪·罗斯福[前总统]
were identical front-teeth twins?
门牙都长得一样呢
Okay, just give me a quick minute to dry the glue.
好吧 给我点时间让我把胶水吹干
Oh, can you throw that shirt on a hanger for me, actually?
你能把衣架上那件衬衫丢给我吗
I need to look sharp for Manny's premiere tonight.
今晚是曼尼的首映式 我得穿得帅一点
I play the Sheriff, which is ironic
我扮演警长 这很讽刺
because I steal every scene I'm in.
因为我在的每一幕焦点全被我"抢"了
Dad, no! It's melting!
爸爸 不好 胶水融化了
ZZ Top!
变大胡子了
I've ruined your mother.
我毁了你妈妈
Wait a second.
等等
Today's your mom's monthly spa day.
今天是你妈妈的每月水疗日
I'm not following.
我没懂
Afterwards, th-there's a brief window
水疗后会有一小段时间
when she's at her most relaxed and understanding.
她处于最放松最善解人意的状态
It's the best time to give her bad news.
那时候最适合跟她说糟糕的消息了
I was gonna tell her about the $500
我本来打算告诉她
I wired to that stranded British guy on the phone,
我给打来电话求助的骗子英国人汇了五百块
but this seems more important.
但这似乎更重大
Hi. Is Mom home?
妈妈在家吗
Honey, you look nice. Why?
亲爱的 你打扮得真美 为什么
Did I hear Mom?
是有人在说妈妈吗
Wait, you're dressed like a girl.
等等 你打扮得像个女孩
No! You are not using the window.
不 这次的机会之窗是我的
You got the last one!
上次可是你用掉的
Did everyone know about this window?
大家都知道妈妈的这个机会之窗吗
You guys need it too? For what?
你们也需要吗 为什么
Oh, wow. It is not easy doing something that dumb.
要做出这么蠢的事可不容易
Yeah, this is why men are over.
所以男人肯定完蛋了
I hope you enjoyed the last 10,000 years.
希望你们享受最后一万年
Listen, I have to bail on our trip with Mom for Mother's Day.
听着 我得推掉母亲节跟妈妈的旅行
No! I have to bail, you have to go!
不行 我也得推掉 你得去
She cried when we asked her.
我们邀请她时她都哭了
But my boss invited me to the Met Ball.
我老板说带我去大都会艺术博物馆慈善晚宴
Her therapy dog got the flu, so I get to fly first class.
她的治疗犬得了流感 所以我可以坐头等舱了
Well, on her lap.
坐在她大腿上
But Bill wants to take me away.
但是比尔想带我去玩
This is the first time I've had a boyfriend
这是我第一回有男友
1989年的经典温馨电影
who's not spending Mother's Day watching "Driving Miss Daisy"
不会要看着《为黛西小姐开车》度过母亲节
and pulling gray hairs out of a hairbrush.
并从梳子上拔掉白头发
Three asks in one window, it's unprecedented.
一个机会之窗有三个请求 真是破天荒
If we're gonna pull this off, we're gonna have to make this
如果我们要成功 那我们要把家里
the most relaxing environment she's ever walked into.
布置成她去过的最轻松的环境
Surprise!
惊喜哦
- Nana! - Dede!
-外婆 -迪迪
I'm sorry to barge in.
抱歉我不请自来
I was visiting Cam and Mitch,
我之前去拜访了小卡和米奇
and there's some tension over there.
他俩之间有些紧张
Well, where's my daughter?
我女儿呢
I don't hear any cooking or cleaning sounds
我没听到烹饪或者打扫的声音
so I assume she's home.
所以我猜她在家
Dad, what do we do?
爸爸 我们要做什么
Mitchell must've brought her. Maybe he's still out --
肯定是米奇尔送她来的 也许他还在外面
Coward!
懦夫
Oh, just in time.
刚好赶上
"Chapter Five -- Toss that clown,
第五章 扔掉那小丑
he's been keeping you down."
他在拖你后腿
Cam, I spent my whole life
小卡 我这辈子
trying to get out from underneath my mother's thumb,
都想从我妈的五指山下逃出来
and I-I finally thought that that was over.
我以为我终于摆脱了她
So to find out that she's been
所以当我发现她一直
secretly managing me through you --
秘密地通过你来控制我
Okay, before you throw a clot,
在你气吐血之前
本和杰瑞[冰激凌]是我唯一需要的男人
please, come look at my laptop.
拜托你来看看我的笔电
Read the e-mails your mother and I have sent.
读一读你妈和我互发的电邮
743 e-mails!
743封电邮
It's mostly from one thread.
大部分都是同一封电邮的来回
Okay, look what she says in this one.
好吧 瞧她在这封里说了什么
"Some kitchen items you might like."
"一些你或许会喜欢的厨房用品"
- The stove, the tiles... - What?
-炉灶 瓷砖 -什么
...the-the-the folksy sign on the wall, Cam!
墙上的乡村风挂牌 小卡
You said that these were your ideas.
你说这些都是你的主意
D-don't you see she incepted you
你没看出她潜移默化地
and-and designed our whole kitchen?!
利用你设计了整个厨房吗
It was all so diabolical, and it went deep.
简直不是人 而且越挖越深
She tricked us into making every decision in our lives.
她用计控制我们做了人生中的所有决定
For example, 12 years ago,
例如 十二年前
she sent me pictures of adorable Asian babies.
她给我发了可爱的亚洲宝宝的图片
While hitting me with a little reverse psychology.
同时再利用了我的逆反心理
"Mitchell, America has taken so much from the Vietnamese,
"米奇尔 美国已经夺走了越南人那么多
do you really want to snatch one of their children?"
你真的想再抢走一个越南小孩吗"
I do if you don't want me to!
你不想让我做我当然要做
Oh, my God, 2004?!
我的天 2004年
Th-that's a year into our relationship.
那是咱俩交往一年后
"Oh, Cam, I hate to think of you living all alone
"小卡 想到你崴伤了脚 独自一人
in that tiny apartment with a broken ankle."
住在那间小公寓里 我真揪心"
?And on the same day, she's e-mailing you,
在同一天 她给你发电邮说
"It's too soon to move in with someone.
"现在和人同居太早了
I strongly discourage it."
我强烈反对"
Which is exactly why I did it.
这就是为什么我和你同居了
And because you love me so much.
还因为你很爱我
And because we were in love. Are in love. Yes.
还因为我们很相爱 是的
- Mitchell. - Oh, my God.
-米奇尔 -我的天
- She's everywhere. - She is.
-她无处不在 -真的
家庭料理
Cam.
小卡
I'm scared.
我好怕
Jay, you're abusing my editor.
杰 你这是虐待我的剪辑师
Wait, stop. Back it up.
等等 停下 后退
No, no. The movie's done.
不 影片已经剪好了
We can't keep arguing about this!
我们不能再争执下去
Don't we both want to cut the sheriff?!
我们不是都想剪掉治安官的戏吗
Yes! He stinks on ice!
是的 他烂到没救了
But it hurts the story if we don't stay on him long enough
但如果我们剪短他在衣橱里满脸恐惧的镜头
in the closet to see the terror on his face!
会对故事有影响
You just want to see the Pritchett's Closets
你只是想看他头顶上那块
emblem next to his head!
写着普利切特衣柜的小标牌
No, no, no, not again!
不不不 又来了
The red carpet that they sent me is orange,
他们给我发的红毯是橙色的
and they keep putting me on hold.
他们一直让我待机
I never thought that I could hate
我从没想过一遍又一遍地
hearing "She Bangs" over and over.
听《怦然心动》会让我如此烦躁
- You didn't? - Really?
-没想过吗 -不是吧
Manny, give me the movie.
曼尼 把影片给我
I need to make sure that the projector is working
我需要确保放映机运转正常
and that the picture is good.
画面清晰
Here, take it. It's done, anyway.
给你 反正已经剪完了
I don't know what to do with this.
我不会用这个
I'm gonna need to borrow your nerd.
把你的宅男借我用
And why don't you go get me a tomato juice?
你再给我拿杯番茄汁来
Look, I know we've had our creative differences,
我知道我们在创作上意见有分歧
but I really think we have a hit on our hands.
但我真心认为这片会大火
I'm pretty proud of it, too.
我也很为此自豪
And a little nervous to put it out there.
还有点紧张 不敢给世人看
'Cause you made the monster just like Mom?
因为你们让怪物听起来像老妈一样吗
- No, we didn't. - What are you talking about?
-我们没有 -你在胡说什么
That noise. It's what she says all the time.
怪物的叫声和她平时说话一模一样
She's coming!
她来了
Stella, no! Out, out! I'll kill you!
斯黛拉 不 出去 我要宰了你
How could this happen?!
怎么会发生这种事
We spent weeks perfecting the monster's trademark scream
我们用几周时间想完善怪物的标志性叫声
by combining a bunch of unsettling noises.
把各种让人不舒服的声音叠在一起
Horror movies are all about the sound.
恐怖电影重点全在音效
Particularly when your special effects budget
特别是当你的特效预算
has been repurposed for an on-set massage chair.
被用来买了片场按摩椅时
Hey, you used it just as much as I did.
你用得和我一样频繁
So, our monster sounds like your mother screaming?
我们的怪物听起来像你妈的叫声
But we didn't know that before we put it in, right?
但我们用之前没意识到这点 对吗
- No, of course not, we love her. - To the moon.
-当然没有 我们爱她 -爱出天际
- Maybe she won't notice. - We better hope not.
-或许她不会发觉 -最好不会
- It's your movie. - It's your movie.
-是你的片子 -是你的片子
- She's asleep? How lucky. - Kind of lucky.
-她睡着了 真走运 -算是吧
She said she was tired and Haley gave her some...tea.
她说她累了 海莉给她倒了杯茶
What was in the tea?
茶里放了什么
You want her asleep, or you want to ask questions?
你想让她接着睡还是想问问题
Mom just pulled up!
老妈回来了
Quick, longest straw goes first with her,
快 抽到最长吸管的人先去和她说
then medium, then shortest.
然后是中间的 然后是最短的
- Yes! - Yes!
-万岁 -万岁
That's the short straw. You're last.
那是最短的吸管 你最后
Oh, damn it! I'm so used to a world
该死 我太习惯于
where the smallest size wins.
尺码最小的人占便宜的世界了
This sucks, you guys are gonna use up all of Mom's happy buzz.
烦死了 你们会把老妈的好心情都用光的
- Oh, there she is! She's here! - Hurry!
-她来了 她进来了 -快
Cover her up so mom can't see.
把她盖起来别让老妈看到
- There she is! - There's my beautiful family!
-她回来了 -我美好的家人
- Hi, Mom. - Hi, Mom.
-妈 -妈
Wait, why are those shirts over there?
等等 那些衣服怎么放在那
Oh, sorry. We didn't finish the laundry.
抱歉 我们没洗完衣服
Oh, well, don't sweat it, handsome.
别担心 帅哥
Read a paper, we ain't got problems.
读份报纸 今日天下太平
So, Mom, we made you lunch,
妈 我们给你做了午餐
but it's so pretty outside. Let's have a little picnic.
但外面天气这么好 我们去野餐吧
Yeah, I love that idea. Fun in the sun.
我喜欢这个主意 阳光下的欢乐时光
- Have some fun outdoors. - Life is a picnic.
-户外欢乐时光 -人生就是一次野餐
- I'm happy right here. - Okay.
-我在这就很开心 -那好
What?
怎么了
Oh, we're just so nervous that we overdressed the salad.
我们只是担心沙拉酱放多了
I can't even watch you taste it.
我甚至不敢看你品尝
Oh, please.
拜托
Honey, this is so good. What --
亲爱的 真好吃 里面都有...
Mom, I-I hate to have to ask you this,
妈 我真不忍心开口问你
but would you mind if I missed out on our Mother's Day trip?
但如果母亲节旅行我不去你会介意吗
Oh, no, why?
不 为什么
Well, Bill only gets one weekend off a month,
比尔每月只休一个周末
and he wants to take me to the Grand Canyon.
他想带我去看大峡谷
- On a motorcycle. - What?!
-骑摩托去 -什么
Phil, chill.
菲尔 放松点
Sweetie, as your mom, I know I should say no,
宝贝 我知道作为你妈我该说不行
but let's face it,
但我们面对现实吧
those books aren't keeping you warm at night.
那些书本又不能在晚上给你暖床
Let's get some bugs in those teeth, huh?
去迎风驰骋 让虫子飞到嘴上吧
Mom, you are the best. Thank you so much.
妈 你最棒了 太谢谢你了
That is so sweet.
你人真好
Weren't you just wearing jeans?
你刚才穿的不是牛仔裤吗
No, I was not,
不是
and, Miss Dunphy, my eyes are up here.
另外 邓菲女士 别盯着人家下面看
What is that sound?
什么声音
- The house is settling. - My stomach.
-房子的响声 -我肚子叫
Anyways, things are really good at work, Mom.
话说回来 我工作一切顺利 妈
Haley's trying to cut.
海莉想插队
I finally realized how much sacrifice
我终于意识到想拥有事业
it takes to have a career.
需要作出多少牺牲
You know, my boss, like, she wants me
我老板想让我和她
to go with her on this business trip.
一起出差
But it couldn't come at a worse weekend.
但时间实在太不巧了
Welcome to the struggle, sister.
欢迎体验事业女性的纠结 姐妹
- The window's gonna close. - Window? What-what window?
-窗口要关闭了 -窗口 什么窗口
Great news. We moved the box in the garage.
好消息 我们把车库的箱子挪走了
- The craziest thing happened -- - Talk about crazy things.
-发生了特别疯狂的事 -说到疯狂的事
You know how the Met Ball is in New York
你知道大都会博物馆慈善舞会在纽约
and how I weigh the same as a medium-sized dog?
而我和一头中型犬体重一样吗
Haley, the grownups are talking!
海莉 大人正在谈事情
Guys, guys, guys, the knots are coming back.
大伙 大伙 我脖子上的结节又出现了
Mom, I'm bailing on our trip!
妈 我不和你一起旅行了
I made Dad play and we flew our drone into your face!
我让老爸陪我玩无人机 撞破了你的脸
A man named Nigel Pickles
一个叫奈杰尔·皮克尔斯的人
may have our bank account numbers!
可能掌握了咱家银行账户
- I'm gonna go. - Stop!
-我先走了 -不许动
Sit down!
坐下
Clearly, you all have bad news to tell me.
很显然 你们都有坏消息要告诉我
But do you have to dump it on me when I'm in a good mood?
但你们非得在我心情好的时候一起说吗
Oh, my God, you did!
我的天 就是这样
That's what the window is!
这就是你们说的窗口
The one hour a month when I am a human to you people.
我每个月就这一小时对你们有人情味
Sometimes it's longer.
有时能多维持一会
Let me tell you something.
让我告诉你们
You debutantes have it easy.
你们这些娇生惯养的过得太轻松了
You wouldn't have survived one day
要是在我长大时住的那个家
in the house where I grew up,
你们一天都活不下去
where an actual crazy person was running the show.
我家里有个真正的疯婆子作威作福
- Um, Claire -- - The guilting, the shaming,
-克莱尔 -内疚绑架 羞辱
the number of times I heard
我数不清听过多少次
"Where did I go wrong with you?"
"我是哪里没教好你"
Mom.
- Mom, Nana's here. - Yeah. I'm sorry.
-妈 外婆来了 -是啊 对不起
Save it. I know where I'm not wanted.
省省吧 我能感到你不欢迎我
And no, I'm not trying to guilt you.
不 我这不是用内疚绑架你
I can't waste the energy on that,
我浪费不起那个精力
as I am basically homeless
因为我婚姻破裂
now that my marriage has unraveled.
现在基本上无家可归了
- Claire -- - No!
-克莱尔 -不
No! We are going to sit here in silence
不 我们就一言不发坐在这
until it is my turn to storm out.
直到轮到我摔门而出
No drinking!
不准喝酒
For you.
你不准喝
If Mom starts to think the monster sounds familiar,
如果老妈开始觉得怪物的叫声耳熟
I say we tell her it's Stella barking.
不如我们告诉她那是斯黛拉的叫声
And hurt Stella's feelings? Think! ?
然后伤害斯黛拉的感情吗 用用脑子
Dede? What are you doing here?
迪迪 你怎么来了
Our children are horrible.
我们的孩子们好可恶
I'm sorry to barge in.
我很抱歉来得这么突然
Oh. Gloria's holding a soiree.
歌洛莉亚在举办晚会
I should go.
我该走了
You will do no such thing.
不准你这么做
You come with me, young lady.
你跟我来 小姑娘
She was the perfect secret weapon.
她就是完美的秘密武器
We send her upstairs to freshen up,
我们送她上楼去整理仪容
just before the movie starts, we drop the Dede bomb.
然后在电影开始前 我们放出迪迪
Gloria's flustered, off her game,
歌洛莉亚就会手足无措 心慌意乱
she doesn't even pay attention to the film.
根本没有精力注意影片的内容
You still got it.
你果然宝刀未老
And to think I was worried last night
现在想想 昨晚我还在瞎担心
when you kept trying to turn on your phone flashlight
你想打开手机的闪光灯手电筒功能
and ended up taking 30 pictures of your angry face.
结果拍了30张自己的暴怒脸呢
There they are, my handsome movie makers.
他们来啦 我帅气的导演们
What are you wearing?
你穿的什么呢
What are you wearing?
你穿的什么呢
What are you wearing?
你穿的什么鬼呢
Whatever I want.
我想穿什么穿什么
Okay, I just found out that my mother
我刚刚发现我的母亲
has been secretly controlling every decision we've ever made,
在背后偷偷控制了我做的所有决定
so we are taking our lives back.
所以我们决定夺回自己的人生
She thinks this color washes me out. Well, guess what?
她觉得这颜色使我脸无光 你们猜怎么着
- She was right? - You match the carpet.
-她说得对吗 -你跟地毯颜色很搭
Use more teeth when you talk,
你说话的时候多露出牙齿
because I'm losing your whole face.
因为好难聚焦在你的脸上
Okay, pay them no never mind.
别理他们
Uh, she also implied 15 years ago
她在15年前也暗示了
that Cam's accent was trashy, so that's also happening.
小卡的口音很土 所以这也要改回去
Yep, and it came right back to me
是滴 口音立马回来
like a cheatin' husband on his rent day.
比偷情的男人交房费速度还快
Grab yourselves a drink.
两位去拿杯酒水吧
Sorry I'm late.
抱歉我迟到了
What the hell?
什么鬼
Does no one know what
难道没人懂什么是
"Upscale cocktail Hollywood glamour fabulous" means?
"高档鸡尾酒好莱坞闪亮动人"吗
- Hello. - Gloria.
-我啊 -我不是吗
No, I don't. I'm sorry. I had to run off some rage.
我不懂 抱歉 我不得不发泄一下怒气
Mitchell, you're a lawyer. Can I divorce my whole family?
米奇尔你是律师 我想问我能跟全家离婚吗
Are you even facing me right now?
你现在是面对着我吗
Tarnation, here comes your kin! Git! Git! Oh!
靠咧 你家那堆人来了 溜 快溜
Sorry, I'm still working on the balance.
抱歉 我还在调整口音的度
Oh, there's Mom. Luke, turn your cute on.
妈在那边 卢克 快打开卖萌模式
There's my Sheriff.
我的警长大人来了
Go. I want to take a picture with the poster.
我想拍你跟海报
I'm sorry, I'm not really in a place --
抱歉 我现在没心情...
Pose.
摆姿势
Mitchell?
米奇尔
Sorry, I didn't see you against the carpet.
抱歉 没注意到你就在地毯上
Mommy?
妈咪
Nope. Not cute anymore. You're 40.
少来 不萌了 你都要40岁了
You know, forgiveness creates a biochemical reaction that --
你知道原谅人能产生一种生物化学反应...
Don't care.
关我屁事
You're up.
到你了
You're gone, aren't you?
你走了对吧
Okay, everybody, sit down. It's time to watch the movie!
好了各位 坐下 到观影的时候了
Is Mom still at your house?
妈还在你家吗
Oh, no, she ran off all mad at me.
她不爽我 气呼呼地跑了
I guess I'm not getting a recycled hemp Christmas card this year.
看来我今年无福收到再生纸做的圣诞卡了
Well, Cam and I have a tiny bone to pick with her, too,
我跟小卡跟她也有点仇
for controlling our entire lives.
因为她想控制我们的生活一切
Not that it'll matter. We all know what she's gonna say.
但这又有何所谓 我们都知道她会说
"Well, forgive me for caring."
"我在乎你们是我的错吗"
- Are you kidding?! - Look who dropped in.
-不是吧 -看看谁来了
What a surprise.
真是个惊喜啊
Let me get you a chair.
我去帮你拿张椅子
Oh, don't bother. Sitting's the new smoking.
不用了 坐下仿佛是新时代的抽烟
Mom, we need to talk.
妈 我们得谈谈
Oh, no, no.
别别别
Just get in line, sweetie.
排队好吗 小姐妹
Oh, shoot. Well, family first. Let's reschedule the premiere.
妈呀 家庭优先 首映改期吧
No. You will talk later.
不行 你们之后再谈
Nerd, the lights!
宅男 关灯
Here comes the first test.
首个难关
I can't believe that Dede is standing up.
我真不敢相信迪迪居然站着
Worked like a charm.
百试百灵
I don't know what was more genius, bringing Dede in,
我不知道哪个更天才 是放迪迪来
or hooking the audience early with some teenage sex.
还是影片初期就用青年性事吸引观众
You were right to fight for that.
你争取这一段是对的
This is my big scene.
到我的重要时刻了
Big whoop.
重要个屁
Everybody, stop!
大家都停下
We're better than this.
我们不是这样的人
So let's just
我们就...
think about that!
自己好好想想吧
I don't know if I was being oversensitive
我不知道是不是因为
because of my situation with Claire, but that editing stung.
跟卡莱尔吵架而内心敏感 但这剪辑伤我太深
My huge speech, a fight with the townspeople, all gone.
我的重要演说与跟村民的大战 全都没了
I'll never forget you.
我永远不会忘了你
剧终
Bravo bravo!
太棒了 太棒了
All right, then.
好吧
- Yeah. - Very nice.
-棒 -好赞
Fine filmmaking, Manuel.
很杰出的电影拍摄 曼纽尔
You really got to something visceral.
真的拍到人心坎里了
I feel like I've met that monster.
我感觉我仿佛见过那怪兽了
No, no, no. It's all fiction. Now let's go eat.
不不不 都是虚构的 我们去吃饭吧
No, you know what, that scream
不 那个吼声
actually sounded somehow familiar.
其实听起来真有点耳熟
- Yeah, it did, didn't it? - Yeah.
-对啊 真的是这样对吧 -对啊
Stella, no! No! Out, out, out! I'll kill you!
斯黛拉 不行 出去 出去 我宰了你
What?
什么
You made me into your monster!
你们把我做成你们的怪兽
Not on purpose.
不是有心的
It's just a bunch of awful sounds
我们只是把
laid on top of each other.
各种让人不舒服的声音叠在一起
How is that better?
这话能安慰到人吗
- Well, at least you were in the film. - ?Phil!
-起码你在电影里出现啦 -菲尔
Well, now that we've reached the Q&A portion of the evening,
现在我们到了观影后提问阶段
I do have a question for Mom, if that's okay with her.
我有几个问题想问妈 如果她愿意答的话
Or do you want to tell Cam to tell me what to do
还是你想要唆使小卡来教我怎么做
and then use reverse psychology on me?
并且再利用逆反心理来控制我呢
Mitchell, if you want to confront me about something,
米奇尔 如果你想要跟我当面对质事情
do it now.
现在就问吧
No, I'm -- I'm gonna do it when I want to do it.
不 我... 等我想问的时候我再问
Well, anyway, you look lovely in the salmon suit.
顺带一句 你穿这浅橙色西装挺好看
Oh, you know what? You know what?
是吗 那这样吧
Okay, well, how about this? Huh?
怎么样 现在怎么样啊
- You realize what she just -- - I do realize now.
-你意识到她刚... -我意识到了
Okay, you two are being ridiculous.
你们俩太神经了
And if I may come to Mom's defense for just a moment --
我不得不来站一下妈这边
- Oh, yeah. - What?!
-是的 -什么
Yes! Yeah, uh-huh,
没错 我就来站她队
and not just because I owe her an apology, which I do.
不只是因为我欠她个抱歉 虽然我有欠
But, I mean, do you like your lives?
但是你们喜欢自己的生活吗
Are you happy with the way things turned out?
你们对生活的发展还满意吗
Instead of blaming Mom
与其要责怪老妈
for helping you make the right choices,
帮助你们做出正确的选择
how about thanking her?
为何不改为谢谢她呢
You know, it's not so easy to be the one who always knows best.
你们知道要永远当最聪明理智的人有多辛苦吗
In fact, it can make you a little tense sometimes.
其实这有时候会让你挺紧绷的
This amazing woman runs a company,
这位优秀的女士经营着一家公司
she runs a family,
照顾着一个家庭
and you don't show her any appreciation.
而你们却没有一点感激之情
Just like you two.
就像你们两个一样
I put you two together to do this movie
我安排你们两个一起拍一部电影
and you turn me into your devil creature.
你们把我变成你们的可怕怪兽
What do you mean you put us together?
什么叫你安排我们两个一起
I left Manny's script out so that you would see it
我故意把曼尼的剧本放在那里让你看到
and you would get involved.
好让你自愿下场帮忙
I knew that this movie was not going to be good
我知道这部电影不会好
unless I would take his artsy weirdness
除非我能让他曲高和寡的怪
and balance it with your low-brow, couch-tomato sensibility.
来跟你的粗俗沙发番茄风互补
应为沙发土豆 指长时间待在电视前跟着节目转的人
And that's why it was so great.
难怪作品这么棒
Gloria, I know what you put up with.
歌洛莉亚 我懂你受了多少委屈
I-I was married to Jay.
我也曾嫁给过杰
You are a saint to stick around.
你对他不离不弃简直像个圣人
Especially with that bosom,
尤其你有那对胸器
you could get any guy in town.
想要哪个男人不是手到擒来
So, unfortunately, this is what families do --
很遗憾的是 家人们就是这样
they turn mothers into monsters.
他们能把母亲变成怪兽
- Mom, that's not fair. - That's not what we're doing.
-你这话有失公允吧 -我们才没有这样
Everybody stop!
大家快停下
We're better than this.
我们不是这样的人
What are monsters, but pure, beautiful creatures
什么是怪兽 它们就是由我们内心恐惧
we project our fears onto?
所反射出来的纯粹美丽生物
And are they even scary,
它们真的可怕吗
or are we just too terrified to look inside
还是只是我们太怯懦 不敢自我审视
and see the ugliness and inadequacies in ourselves?
检讨自己内心的丑陋与不足呢
So...
所以...
let's just think about that.
我们就自己好好想想吧
Thank you, Phil.
谢谢你 菲尔
- That's a nice start. - He's right.
-这是个好的开始 -他说得对
- You're not a monster. - Mom, we're sorry.
-你不是怪兽 -妈 我们错了
We love you, sweetheart.
我们爱你 亲爱的
If Phil had been half that good when we were rollin',
我们拍摄的时候菲尔有刚才一半的表现
we never would've cut that speech.
我们就不用剪掉那段演说了
He finally just trusted the words.
他终于领会并相信那些对白了
Everybody stop. Oh. I'm stuck.
大家快停下 我卡住了
Is -- Is this props or wardrobe?
是道具还是戏服
Cut!
Stop! Everybody stop.
停 大家快停下
Everybody, I can't stop!
大家 我停不下啦
Everybody,
大家
line?
台词是什么
Everybody stop!
大家快停下
We're better than this!
我们不是这样的人啦
That's a cut.
可以停了
I'm sorry, guys,
抱歉各位
I'm not hearing it.
我觉得感情不对
Oh actually I'm at work, do you think
其实我现在正在工作 你说能不能
I could send you a picture of the rash?
我把我起的疹子拍照片发给你呢
Damn it Phil, you're in the shot!
靠 菲尔 你闯入拍摄了