摩登家庭 第九季 Modern Family Season 9 第22集: Clash of Swords

上映日期: 2,017

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 詹姆斯·R·巴格多纳斯

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·


台词
Didn't you just cut his hair?
你不是才给他剪过头发吗
Yes, but it's his kindergarten graduation party today.
对 但今天是他的幼儿园毕业派对
Okay, no messy goodbyes, I'm out of here.
好了 告别不要搂搂抱抱 我走了
Ay, papi, I'm going to miss you.
宝贝 我会想死你的
原创翻译 双语字幕
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Can you at least stay for the party that I'm making for Joe?
你能不能至少留下来参加我为乔办的派对
Mom, Mrs. Nussbaum is paying me
妈妈 努斯鲍姆太太花钱雇我
翻译: 洗七里 亲爱的小饭 斑驳
to get her car to Delaware by Friday at noon.
在周五中午前帮她把车开到特拉华州
I already lost an hour looking for my driving gloves.
我已经浪费了一小时找我的驾驶手套
翻译: 尤妮希 有债必偿赛太公
You're plowing through the heartlands
你要开着辆毛毛虫绿的丰田凯美瑞
in an inchworm-green Camry
穿过民风剽悍的中部
with a bumper sticker that says "Meat is Murder."
车尾贴还写着"吃肉等同谋杀"
校对: 海岛猛男赛太公 南蛮少女YY猫
I hid these gloves for a reason.
我是故意把这副手套藏起来的
Listen, uh, we weren't kidding about you being careful.
听着 叫你当心点可不是玩笑话
时间轴: 三水
And, uh, not to get dramatic, just keep your wits about you.
不是我夸张 记得要提高警惕
后期: 瓜瓜 总监: 庆祝季终的瓜瓜
Here.
What the hell is that?
这是什么鬼
It's an air freshener. What does it look like?
还能是空气清新剂吗 你说是什么
打开微信 扫描左侧二维码或搜索公众号: 美剧炸了了解最新影视资讯字幕信息
I'm going on the Martha Stewart
我是要去玛莎·斯图尔特的
美国家政女王
bed-and-breakfast tour of America,
美国民宿之旅
not an Aboriginal manhood quest.
又不是探索男子气概土著之旅
I'm not saying you're gonna need it,
我没说你会用得到
just better safe than sorry.
只是有备无患
Slash, don't stab.
划就行 千万别用捅的
Stop wiggling. I'm almost done.
别动来动去 我快好啦
Why'd you gasp?
你干嘛倒抽一口气
Ah! My hair is my identity!
不要 头发是我的身份象征啊
家 庭
摩 登
第九季 第二十二集
Uh, Cam? Uh, turns out I have to do that work thing after all.
小卡 看来我还是得干个活
I'll meet you at Joe's party?
我们在乔的派对上见好吗
Oh, okay. Cal, come give your Uncle Mitchell a hug.
好的 卡尔 过来抱抱你米奇尔舅舅
Hug!
抱抱
No. No, no hug. No -- where is he?
不 不要抱抱 他人呢
Which way is he coming from? Coming from?
他从哪个方向跑来 哪个方向
Cam's sister's son is staying with us
小卡姐姐的儿子现在暂住我们家
because, well, you know, she's back in jail.
因为 你们懂的 她又被关进监狱了
But she didn't do anything terrible.
但她没做什么大坏事
She just didn't understand
她只是不明白
the rules of her probation from last time, when --
她上次坐牢的假释条款 她...
When she did something a little terrible.
她上次做了一些小坏事
But we're taking baby Cal back to
但我们准备把小卡尔
live with my parents on the farm.
送回农场跟我父母住
Which is a good thing because he's not really a --
这是好事 因为他并不是...
a house baby.
适合家养的宝宝
No, no, he's freakishly strong and off the charts size-wise.
真不是 他力气大得惊人 块头大到破表
On the charts. 99th percentile.
没有破表啦 数一数二而已啦
He has two teeth and I've seen him eat a whole chicken.
他只有两颗牙 但我见过他吃掉整只鸡
All right, I got to go.
好了 我得走了
Wait, where's my hug?
等等 给我的抱抱呢
- Hug! - Go! Go! Save yourself!
-抱抱 -走 快走 快逃命
Our costumes are in the back.
我们的戏服在后座
Phil and I are going to Hero-Con
菲尔和我要去参加英雄展
to indulge in our love of fantasy fiction.
放纵我们对奇幻小说的热爱
Um, I-I've always wanted to go,
我一直都很想去
but I-it's a little nerd-forward,
但这个展会偏宅男向
and I was always afraid my family would make fun of me.
我以前总担心我家人会取笑我
So I've asked Phil to keep it between us.
所以我叫菲尔保守这个秘密
That's why we chose our secret warrior signal.
所以我们选了秘密的战士暗号
My first suggestion was to blow a Viking horn.
我第一个提议是吹维京号角
- Don't ever Google that, by the way. - I already did.
-对了 千万别上网搜 -已经搜了
也有给男性口交的意思
This year, there's a panel, um, on our favorite show,
今年 我们最喜欢的剧要办见面座谈会
"Clash of Swords."
《神剑之战》
It's got a lot of graphic violence and female nudity,
这剧含有大量暴力情节和女性裸体
but that's part of its appeal
但那也正合每个男人体内的
to the fierce warrior inside every man.
勇猛战士的胃口
My eyeliner keeps smudging.
我的眼线一直晕开
Thanks a lot, gal at the MAC counter.
真是"谢谢"你的推荐啊 彩妆专柜柜姐
Who cares? We look great.
管他呢 我们看起来帅极了
Let's do this!
我们上吧
Just remember we left our trusty steed in section 22B.
要记得我们把可靠的坐骑停在了22B
I can't do it, Phil.
我做不到 菲尔
Oh, okay. I can write it down.
好吧 我可以写下来
No, no. I-I-I thought I was ready, but I'm not.
不不 我以为我准备好了 但其实没有
I'm not. I-I've fantasized so long about coming,
我没准备好 我幻想了要来这么久
and now that -- that we're here, I am...
现在我们真的来了 我却
I'm mortified, okay? I'm a 40-year-old man.
我却感到羞愧 我都是40岁的老男人了
No, you're not.
你才不是
You're a 390-year-old Highland Norph.
你是个390岁的高地北境人
And you're walking in with a lifer.
跟着一名职业勇士入场
This baby gets us all-access and two free yards of mead.
这宝贝能让我们畅行无阻 还送两杯蜂蜜酒
Through those doors lies your destiny.
你的命运就在那些门背后
What's the Galderean word for "Bravery"?
"勇敢"用盖尔德语怎么说
Lochtani.
辣个汤尼
- Again! - Lochtani.
-再说一遍 -辣个汤尼
Namu oponggi su-whi-gorth!
嘛哩嘛哩哄
Have you seen Margaret?
你有看到玛格丽特吗
I need her to clear my day.
我要她把我今天的日程排开
I just found out you can get the Golf Channel online.
我刚发现可以在网上收看高尔夫频道
Nope, she's out sick again.
没有 她又请病假了
Oh, Dad, don't forget we're about to meet with
爸爸 别忘了我们要跟
those guys from that start-up.
那所新企业的人见面
Oh, right, aspiring closeteers
对哦 一群有抱负的衣柜界新丁
seeking advice from an industry legend.
想向行业传奇寻求建议
Yeah, just skip that part of your speech
是的 记得要跳过那一段
where you say "I didn't choose closets --"
就是你说"不是我选择了衣柜..."
They chose me!
是衣柜选择了我
...We didn't know where to hang up our puffer vests,
我们不知道该把羽绒背心挂在哪儿
so we just dropped them on some rando's desk.
于是就随便丢在某人桌上了
Hi. You must be the guys from EzraVision.
你好 你们就是伊瑟拉视界的人吧
Yes, I am Nick. And these are my guys.
没错 我是尼克 这些是我的员工
Jay Pritchett, obviously.
不用说 我就是杰·普里契特
Fellas, take a seat. Make yourself comfortable.
各位请坐 不要拘束
Which one is gonna be holding the tape recorder?
哪一位负责拿录音机记录
You know what? Why don't we just make this quick?
这样吧 不如我们速战速决
We actually have to go hang out in a bike shop
我们等下还得去车行逛逛
that only plays Drake.
那里只放嘻哈歌手德雷克的歌
So here's our offer, best and final.
这是我们最终的最高报价
Offer for what?
什么报价
For your company.
买下你们公司的报价
We want to buy you out.
我们想买下你们
I'm sorry, we thought that you were here to just,
不好意思 我们以为你们只是来
you know, get information.
搜集信息
Get out of here!
给我滚出去
Dad, if you would just let me speak --
爸爸 不如让我来沟通吧
Who do you think you are,
你以为自己是谁
marching in here like a bunch of hotshots?
大步走进来自以为是一群大老板
And why is nobody wearing socks?!
为什么没人穿袜子
Ooh, lower the B.P., O.G.
血压别这么高 老人家
We're actually trying to do you a favor.
我们其实算是在帮你们一个大忙
Okay, I think you have this twisted.
我认为是你们没搞清楚
This company has been around since before you all were born.
这间公司在你们所有人出生前就成立了
Except for maybe him. How is he part of this?
或许除了他 他是怎么回事
This guy? That's our over-40 diversity hire.
这家伙吗 为了显得年龄多样化雇的
Listen, we have developed smart-closet technology
我们已经开发出了智能衣柜技术
that's gonna make places like this obsolete.
你们这种公司迟早会被淘汰
We are giving you a chance
我们是给你们机会
to get out while you're still ahead.
在还有优势时全身而退
Speaking of which -- Get out of here!
说到全身而退 给我滚出去
Okay. Offer's good for 48 hours.
那好 我的出价48小时后失效
Two get out of heres?
用说两次"滚出去"吗
You believe these punks?
你能相信这些小流氓吗
I mean, what was with all this eye contact?
他们怎么敢进行那么多目光交流
In my day, nerds had the decency to stare at their shoes!
我那个年代 书呆子会规规矩矩地盯着鞋
Their website looks legitimate.
他们的网站看起来挺正规的
I mean, they've got some pretty great clients.
他们还有不少大客户
Wait a second, is that Margaret?
等一下 那是玛格丽特吗
She's working there. They must have poached her.
她在那工作 肯定是他们挖走了她
玛吉 接待员
Brainwashed her, is what they did.
他们肯定给她洗脑了
Margaret is very vulnerable.
玛格丽特很容易上当
I've had to rescue her a bunch of times
我曾经无数次把她从邪教
from cults and an Amway pyramid.
和安利金字塔营销中救出来
Come on. Let's get our girl back!
快 去把我们的姑娘救回来
You were all the way out of the Grand Canyon
你都骑出大峡谷了
before you realized no one was on my donkey.
才发现我不在驴上
But, sure, let's go save Margaret.
不过 当然 我们去救玛格丽特
Mom, my dinosaur party looks amazing!
妈 我的恐龙派对看起来好棒
But we're in that room.
可我们订的是那个房间
Somebody must've done another dinosaur party right next to us.
肯定是有人在我们隔壁办了恐龙派对
杰西卡老师毕业派对 欢迎
Gloria?
歌洛莉亚
Doctor Donna Duncan.
唐娜·邓肯医生
You remember my stepson, Digby.
记得我的继子迪格比吗
He prefers nonverbal communication.
他更喜欢不用语言来交流
This is your party?
这是你的派对吗
You see, I saw that you had signed up
你瞧 我看到你预定
to throw a party for Miss Jessica's class,
要给杰西卡老师带的班开派对
so I thought I'd throw a little party for Miss Elaine.
所以我想给伊莱恩老师带的班也办个小派对
It belches fire and then shoots candy all over the room.
它能喷完火后朝整个房间喷糖果哦
Hey, girl, hey!
妹子
I'm not going on your road trip.
我不会陪你去公路旅行的
- What? - Luke told me that you've been hounding him
-什么 -卢克告诉我你一直在煽动他
because you don't want to drive cross-country alone.
因为你不想独自开车横跨全国
Oh, I'm just trying to do you a favor.
我只是想帮你个忙
You're going to a conference in Memphis.
你要去孟斐斯开会
It's only 12 hours out of my way.
我只要多开12小时车程就行了
Hey, no need to be afraid.
你不必害怕
Afraid?
害什么怕
Manny, I'm a pretty girl who wears low-cut tops.
曼尼 我是个穿低胸上衣的漂亮女孩
I know what a scared 19-year-old boy looks like.
我知道19岁男孩害怕时是什么神情
Dude, you brought a pan flute to the fifth grade.
老兄 你五年级时带排箫去学校
You serenade girls who are way out of your league.
你给比你人气高超多的女孩唱小夜曲
You're a baller. You got this.
你胆子很大 你没问题的
- Thanks. - Anytime.
-多谢鼓励 -随时乐意效劳
Manny. Manny, this is kidnapping.
曼尼 曼尼 你这是绑架
Wow, this office is huge.
他们办公室真大
Just placed it. This used to be Schweinberg's department store.
刚盖的 这里过去是史怀伯格百货商店
Wall of TVs over there.
那边是电视墙
I almost knocked down the display of fondue pots
我当时差点撞翻了芝士火锅样品
美国最早的女性晚间新闻主播之一
when I saw they were letting Barbara Walters anchor the news.
因为我看到他们让芭芭拉·沃尔特斯报新闻
Look who's here!
看看是谁来了
You are not gonna regret taking our offer.
你们一定不会后悔接受我们的出价
Let's celebrate.
我们去庆祝吧
We're not here to sell.
我们不是来卖公司的
We're here to bring Margaret home.
我们是来带玛格丽特回家的
Who's Margaret?
玛格丽特是谁
Margie!
玛吉
Margie-Marge!
小玛吉
How did they get you?
他们怎么骗你来的
Are you still wandering around alone in pet stores?
你还独自去宠物店瞎逛吗
I've told you, that's the kind of person these cults target!
我告诉过你 这些邪教专拉这种人
I like it here.
我喜欢这里
They have one of those machines that makes every kind of soda.
他们有能做各种汽水的机器
But you're diabetic. And a grown-up.
可你有糖尿病 还是个成年人
You know, since you're here, why don't I show you the new model?
既然你们来了 不如我带你们看看新型号
Come here. Come over here.
来 过来
Come here. This is the EzraVision Elitist.
过来 这是伊瑟拉视界精英
Stand right over there.
站在这
Face forward.
面向前面
Good afternoon, Ezra.
下午好 伊瑟拉
Good afternoon. How may I help you?
下午好 需要什么帮助吗
What is that?
那是什么
Ezra, full body scan.
伊瑟拉 进行全身扫描
- Here we go. - Scan complete. Searching wardrobe.
-来吧 -扫描完成 搜索衣橱
Based on today's weather forecast,
根据今天的天气预报
here's your optimal outfit.
这是您的最佳着装
Check the label.
看看标牌
- Just my size. - Yes, it is.
-正是我的尺寸 -没错
See, this is the future of closets --
这就是衣柜的未来
automated, intelligent --
自动化 智能化
That's what they said about the "mood closet" in the '70s,
七十年代的"情绪衣柜"也是这么宣传的
- and I buried them. - Very cranky.
-我亲手送它入土了 -他真暴躁
Yes, but he has earned the right to be cranky,
是的 不过他赢得了暴躁的权利
because my father is a giant in this industry,
因为我父亲是这一行的巨人
and he had to skip his ice-cream sandwich today to come here.
并且他为了来这今天没吃冰淇淋三明治
Nick, it's time for laser tag.
尼克 该玩激光枪战了
Yes! You know what?
太棒了 你们知道吗
No matter how it shakes out, you can keep the pants.
无论最终结果如何 裤子你留着
- Those are on me. - Let's go!
-我送你了 -我们走
Let's get the hell out of here.
我们快走
Hang on, Dad. I...
等等 爸 我
I don't like these dorks any more than you do,
我和你一样不喜欢这些书呆
but they might be onto something.
但他们有些想法可能很有前景
What are you saying? You want to sell?
你什么意思 你想卖公司吗
No, I was thinking more of a merger.
不 我在考虑合并
I did some digging,
我做了些调查
and they are two years behind on production.
他们生产不过来 订单排到两年后了
They need our manufacturing,
他们需要我们的生产能力
and frankly, we need their technology.
而说实话 我们需要他们的科技
Nope, not gonna happen. End of conversation.
不 不可能 谈话结束
Really?
非要这样吗
I-I'm having a business discussion.
我是在跟你讨论公司业务
I am not negotiating a new bedtime.
不是在商量一个新的睡觉时间
I'm not taking on an outside partner.
我才不要找一个外人当合伙人
Oh, I get it, 'cause you're not very good with partners.
我懂了 因为你不太会处理合伙人关系
I mean, you put me in charge, like, nine times,
你让我当负责人得有九次了吧
but if it's an important decision,
但如果是个重要决定
I should just shut up.
我就得闭嘴
Well, I can't help it
这能怪我吗
if I have a sixth sense about this business.
我对这行有神一般的第六感
Closets chose me!
是衣柜选择了我
Oh, my gosh! Hey!
我的天啊
It's going great over there, huh?
那边玩得超嗨的
What's this? Are these kids in trouble?
怎么回事 这些孩子做错事了吗
That's a different, fancier party than this.
那个派对跟这个不一样 高档多了
The only fun thing I have is that pyramid made out of --
这里唯一好玩的就是那个金字塔 材料是...
Ay, Cam, look what your giant baby nephew did!
小卡 看你那个巨婴外甥干了什么
Yeah, but you know, it's not his fault.
对 但你要知道 这不是他的错
He's three times the size of a child his age.
他的身型是同龄孩子的三倍
And you know what, some Tucker boys
还有你知道吗 有些塔克家的孩子
have a young growth spurt that's no picnic.
会很早就经历痛苦的快速成长期
I had to go to court to play Little League.
我小时候得上法院证明年龄才能打少年棒球联盟
Cameron, sweetie!
卡梅隆 亲爱的
I thought I heard your voice
我就觉得听到了你的声音
cutting through the joyless silence of this...
穿过这个无趣安静的...
I want to say party,
我本来想说派对
but I'm afraid it will sound sarcastic.
但我怕听起来像是讽刺
You guys are friends?
你们是朋友吗
Uh, well, we go to the same blowout parlor, yeah.
我们在同一家发廊做头发
Wait a minute, did you pay for my Belizian blowout
等等 你花钱请我吹头
just so I would shout the details of Gloria's party
就是为了让我告诉你歌洛莉亚的派对详情
so you could outdo her?
好让自己能赢过她吗
Oh, look at you catching on.
你可算明白了
Kids, sorry to wake you.
孩子们 很抱歉吵醒你们了
But I'm gonna leave these wristbands here
但我要把这些腕带留在这里
in case any of you want to come ride our roller coaster.
以防你们想来坐我们的过山车
The mechanical kind,
真正的机械过山车
not the emotional one you've been on
不是你们走进这里后
since you came through these doors.
在心中经历的心情过山车
Get out of here!
给我滚出去
Not you, not you, not you.
不是你 不是你 不是你
英雄展
Oh, God, this is worse than I thought.
天啊 比我想象的还糟糕
There are so many eyes on me.
有好多眼睛正盯着我
I mean, yes, sure,
当然了
less because of all the cyclopses, but still.
那些独眼巨人让眼睛数目少了点 不过还是多
You can do this. Elf up.
你可以的 提起你的精[灵]神
My two favorite Rhine maidens! Linda! Karen!
我最喜欢的两个莱茵少女 琳达 凯伦
Sold them a duplex.
之前卖了她们一套复式公寓
Sweet home Alduzzarna,
我了个妈妈咪啊
it's the Foolmaker from "Clash of Swords" season five!
《神剑之战》第五季里的制傻者
I'm only on season three. I feel lost. Help me.
我只看到了第三季 有点困惑 跟我说说
Oh, okay. During the Feast of Figs,
好吧 在无花果盛宴上
the Forest Prince banished Migolaf the Wanderer
森林王子把漫游者米苟拉夫驱逐到
to the outer reaches of The Forsaken Realm.
遗弃之国境外
Migolaf waylaid the Iguodalan Dwarves
米苟拉夫伏击了依果达然侏儒
and cursed the high cleric to an eternity of feeble-mindedness
并诅咒那位高级牧师永远痴傻
using the mighty scepter known as...
用的就是这支强大的权杖 它被人称
The Foolmaker. I got to get a selfie.
"制傻者" 我要拍张自拍
Ooh, careful! Careful!
小心 小心
Oh, boy. Okay.
天啊 好吧
Good thing it's not the real one
还好这不是真货
or I'd be cursed to spend the rest of my days
不然我这后半辈子都要受诅咒
as a bumbling idiot.
变成一个碎碎念的白痴了
Aw, are you gonna have a little porridge maiden
你要生一个煮粥女仆 还是
or a little warrior?
一个小勇士
I'm not pregnant, dipwad.
我没怀孕 白痴
Phil, why would you say that?!
菲尔 你为什么这么说
I don't know, it just came out.
我不知道啊 脱口而出
I mean, The Foolmaker --
因为这支制傻者...
You're not cursed, okay? It's a prop. It's not real.
你没有被诅咒 好吗 那是道具 不是真的
All right. The panel's this way.
好吧 见面座谈会在这边
Hey, man. Sick scale armor!
兄弟 你的鳞片铠甲太屌了
Oh, really? You think so? It's not too much with the cape?
真的吗 你真觉得吗 配披风不会太夸张吗
I wanted something that would go from feast to battle.
我想要那种既可以赴宴也可以参战的
- Crushed it. - Yes!
-你做到了 -太好了
Oh, we're about to take our annual Norph group photo.
我们要拍一张年度北境大合照
- You coming? -Yes, yes!
-你要来吗 -当然
Phil, we're taking a pic--
菲尔 我们要拍一张照
Oh, I'm sorry. I lost my friend.
抱歉 我跟我朋友走散了
Hey, most of us come alone. You don't have to pretend.
我们大多数都是一个人来的 没必要假装
I -- Th--
Oh, great, the Q&A's just starting.
太好了 问答环节刚刚开始
Mitch?
米奇
That's a very, very good question...
这是个非常非常好的问题
- Mitchell? - ...and the answer to that is...
-米奇尔 -问题的答案是
Scary ogre teeth. Where'd you get those?
可怕的食人怪牙齿 你怎么弄来的
I'm guessing my birth parents.
我的亲生父母给的
I'm so sorry.
很抱歉
Why can't I just shut up?
我怎么就不能闭嘴呢
Sorry, was I going on too long?
抱歉 是我说太久了吗
I didn't --
我没有
You're Joel L.L. Logan.
你是乔尔.L.L.罗根
What's your question, friend?
你有什么问题 朋友
Don't be shy.
别害羞
I may have created this kingdom,
虽然的确是我创造了这王国
but we're all fellow heirs to it.
但我们都是这个王国的继承人
Isn't that right?
对吧
In that case, Mr. Logan...
那样的话 罗根先生
Uh, I read on a fan page
我在一个粉丝页面上看到
there's gonna be a Mozgovian uprising in the season finale
本季季末会出现一个莫兹果人
that'll wipe out the entire ruling class,
消灭所有统治阶级
including the gruesome beheading of Adebayo the Righteous.
包括凶残地斩首正义之子阿德巴约
Wait, a-are you -- are you gonna kill Adebayo?
等等 你 你要杀死阿德巴约吗
What? No, no.
什么 不不不
Who's -- Who -- Who's Adebayo?
谁是 谁 谁是阿德巴约啊
Oh, dear lord. It is true.
老天爷啊 看来是真的
You fool! Why would you ask him that?!
你个蠢蛋 为什么要问他这个
We all stay off of spoiler sites for a reason!
我们不上剧透网站是有原因的
This show is the only thing I've got going on and you ruined it!
这是我唯一还在追的剧 你就这么毁了
They let you bring your spheres?!
主办单位准你们带晶球入场吗
They took away my tweezers!
他们把我的镊子都没收了
Manny?
曼尼
This is the check Mrs. Nussbaum gave me
这是努斯鲍姆太太给的支票
to drive her car to Delaware.
要我把她的车开到特拉华
It's yours if you come with me.
如果你跟我走 它就是你的了
- Okay. - Wait, what?
-好 -等下 什么
Well, Haley already warned me you'd be asking
海莉已经警告我你会这么问
and I thought, sure.
我想 去就去吧
My favorite research institute is on the way.
反正也顺路去我最爱的研究所
And I could bring my windsock and barometer
我可以带上我的风向袋和气压表
for that new weather modeling project I've been noodling with.
去做我正在进行的天气建模项目
I couldn't help noticing a lot of loose hairs on your pillow
我不禁注意到你枕头上有好多散落的头发
and a stack of fully completed Sudoku books.
还有一叠做完的数独书
Weren't you supposed to be taking it easy this summer?
你这个夏天不是应该放松吗
No school, no projects --
不考虑学习 项目
Yeah, I'm loving it.
对 我特喜欢这生活
What are the chances I open your dresser
那我打开你的衣柜
and find a calendar with three X'd out days
会不会找到一本日历 上面有三天打叉
and a giant red circle around the date school starts again?
开学的日期上有大大的红色的圈
You don't know me.
你不了解我
Look, you're facing a challenge that scares you,
你正在面临你所畏惧的挑战
but you know in your heart you need to take it on.
但你内心也知道你需要正面迎敌
Because it'll help you grow
因为它能帮助你成长
and become a stronger, more balanced person.
成为一个更强大 生活更平衡的人
Of course I know you're right, but it's hard!
我当然知道你是对的 但很难
People are out there discovering planets,
有人在外面探索星球
and I'm in here doing BuzzFeed quizzes.
我却在家做网上的白痴小测验
Like if I were to be a Beatle, who would I be?
如果我是披头士的一员 我会是谁
I'd be Ringo. Who cares, Manny?!
我会是林戈 谁在乎呢 曼尼
Manny?
曼尼
I may have lost Phil, but I found my people.
我可能丢失了菲尔 但找到了我的同类
And the choreography was a snap.
舞蹈轻而易举
It's basically a river dance, uh, crossed with the hora.
基本上就是大河之舞穿插着霍拉舞
I bring news from the Catalina Room!
我从卡塔丽娜之间带回了消息
A dark shadow has fallen upon the kingdom.
黑影笼罩了这个帝国
The gods will not be pleased by this --
神明会因此而动怒
Just get to it, Gary!
快说 盖里
Some dingus just spoiled the finale!
有个家伙剧透了季终集
This shall not go unpunished!
必须惩罚他
Let's get him!
咱们找他去
Where have you been? I've been waiting forever.
你去哪了 我等了好久
I was angry. I needed to take a walk
我很生气 我需要走一走
so I could forget how pigheaded you can be.
这样才能忘了你有多固执
You want to take another lap?
你想再走一圈吗
Dad, I am right about this.
爸 我是对的
Eventually Nick is gonna figure out how to keep up with demand,
总有一天尼克能想出怎么保证供货
and then where are we gonna be?
那到时候我们该何去何从
I know your style has always been just tough it out
我知道你的风格是坚持到底
and -- and beat back every threat --
击退每一个威胁
That's not it, Claire.
不是 克莱尔
You're right. We can't beat these guys.
你是对的 我们打不过他们
A merger's the only long-term play.
从长远看合并才是唯一可行的办法
I just don't know who I am in there.
我只是不知道该把自己放在什么位置
What?
什么
They're all 25, zippin' around on their...
他们都25岁左右 飞驰在那什么上
The hoverboards?
平衡车吗
What's that make me, the cute old guy?
那我成了什么 可爱的老家伙
The mascot?
还是吉祥物
"Old man Pritchett's in the men's room.
"老普里契特在厕所呢
Let's go watch him cuss out the automatic faucets again."
快去看他又对着自动水龙头乱骂"
Aw, Dad.
I can't promise that
我不能保证
you wouldn't feel old in that building,
你在那栋楼里不会感到自己老了
but from the outside looking in,
但从外面看来
I mean, you're the guy
你完全镇得住
who's holding his own with kids a third his age.
一群年纪只有自己三分之一的小屁孩
1926年出生的美国歌手直到2010年代都还是有人气受赞扬的歌手
That makes you like the... the Tony Bennett of closets.
你就好比是衣柜界的托尼·班尼特
I told you I took an elevator with him in Rome, right?
我和你说过我曾在罗马和他坐同班电梯吧
Yeah, you did. And you know what,
你说过 你知道吗
in that building there's a bunch of people
那栋楼里有好多人
who have never heard that story.
还没听过这个故事呢
Did he have a Chihuahua with him?
他是不是还带了只吉娃娃
- A mink. - A mink?
-貂 -貂
- A live mink. - Yeah.
-一只活貂 -没错
- All class. - Yeah.
-可有范儿了 -没错
It's just a little intimidating.
可能我觉得有点受威胁吧
You don't think they're gonna be scared of you?
你觉得他们不会怕你吗
Come on. Dad, look at them.
别啊 爸 你看他们
I don't care what ironic T-shirt their closets pick out for them.
无论他们的衣柜帮他们挑出了什么毒舌T恤
Underneath, they're still nerds.
他们本质上始终还是死书呆
I can't.
真是服了你
Yeah, this might be okay.
是啦 我想我应该能行吧
I want to see him. Let me through, let me through!
我想见他 让我过去 让我过去
You're the spoiler?
你就是剧透的家伙吗
I didn't do it on purpose!
我不是故意的
It was The Foolmaker!
是制傻者害的
The scepter is a prop, okay?
权杖只是个道具好吗
It's just the power of suggestion.
你是自己被心里暗示所影响了
Mitchell, they want to take away my all-access pass.
米奇尔 他们想收走我的全通票
- You've got to help me. - You know this scoundrel?
-你得帮我 -你认识这个败类吗
Uh, yeah, I think our kids go to school with one --
算吧 我们两家的孩子好像在同学校...
- Mitchell! ?- Okay yes, yes -- yes, I know him.
-米奇尔 -好吧 我认识他
- I know him! - They're monsters.
-我认识他 -他们是恶魔
They've been pelting me with Chobani flail spheres.
他们一直朝我丢乔巴尼连枷球
Wait -- Ch-Chobani, like the yoghurt?
等下 乔巴尼 那个酸奶品牌吗
The show took on corporate sponsors in season four.
剧在第四季时接了商业植入
Seriously, Gary?
不是吧 盖里
I helped you build a deck!
我帮忙你组建了牌组呢
Okay, stop, stop it! What are we doing, huh?
停 停 我们在做什么
Is this how Norphs behave?
北境人是这样的吗
Actually, we're quite war-like.
其实我们还挺好战的
Look, look, this man, he made a mistake,
看 看 这个人他犯了错
but if we banish him,
但如果我们驱逐他
we're no better than the people who shamed us all these years,
我们就和这些年来羞辱咱们的人一样了
who -- who picked us last for team sports,
他们在团队运动时最后选咱们
who left us off of group e-mails about bar association dances.
群发律师协会舞会邀请邮件时漏掉咱们
We're all oddballs and misfits and weirdos,
我们是怪咖 奇葩 怪胎
but the great thing about this place is we all belong,
但这里最好的地方就是包容一切
especially this good man,
特别是这个善良的人
who gave me the courage to conquer my fear
是他给了我战胜恐惧的勇气
and become part of this community.
让我成为这个团体的一部分
Let's welcome him back.
让我们欢迎他回来
The red one, Gary!
红色的 盖里
Where is that dinosaur?
那个恐龙在哪
I certainly hope I don't
我十分希望我没有
accidentally turn off the lights.
一不小心关了灯
As a gay man, I know every party planner in town.
身为一名同性恋 我认识市里所有派对策划人
So I sent out a group text, and as luck would have it,
所以我发了条群短信 我也真撞了大运
my friend Ronaldo was wrapping up a kid's Peter Pan party.
我朋友罗纳多刚好结束一场儿童的小飞侠派对
And I said, "Send me whatever you got."
我就说"你的派对有什么都带过来吧"
I think I hear some music!
我好像听到音乐啦
Where my lost boys at?!
失踪的小男孩们都在哪啊
What the hell is this?!
这是什么鬼啊
You said you were at a kid's Peter Pan party?
你不是说你在一场儿童的小飞侠派对吗
No, no, no. I said, "Kit's Peter Pan party."
不是不是 我是说"尔铜的小飞侠派对"
It's his 11th time turning 50.
尔铜叔第11次办50岁大寿了
Close your eyes! No! Don't look at that!
大家闭上眼睛 别看
Please, I'm so sorry!
拜托了 大家对不起
Enough! Enough!
够了 够了
Everybody out! Even the kids!
大家都出去 小孩子们也出去
I can't fight this anymore. Go to the nice party!
我坚持不下去了 你们去有趣派对那边吧
Just follow the fairy!
跟着仙女娘娘过去吧
She meant me. Everybody calm down.
她是说我 不是大家娘 冷静
Thank you so much for today.
今天谢谢你了
I-I never would've gone through with it
要我自己肯定坚持不下去
if you hadn't inspired me.
都多亏了你的鼓舞
I inspired you?
我鼓舞了你吗
Wait.
等等
In book the third, the high cleric
在第三册中 高等祭司
overcomes the curse of the Foolmaker
成功克服制傻者的诅咒
by being pure of heart
靠的就是纯真之心
and goes on to be a great inspirer of people.
之后他成为了伟大的人民鼓舞者
Do you think --
你觉得...
You seem glum.
你看起来好阴郁
Perhaps you should be turning your passions elsewhere.
或许你该把你的热忱放在别的方向
You're right. I'm going back to vet school.
你说得对 我要回去读兽医
It's about time I grew up.
我也该长大了
I'm sorry, Gloria.
我对不起你 歌洛莉亚
It's okay. I'm not mad.
没事啦 我不生气
What happened to the party?
派对怎么没了
Cam ruined it two ways.
被小卡给毁了
I just wanted a nice party for Joe.
我只是想帮乔办一个好的派对
There's only so long that you can make things perfect for them.
能帮孩子把一切做到尽善尽美的日子很短
Suddenly, they move on.
突然有天 他们就要离巢
They wake up one morning
他们某天早上起来
and they want to drive cross-country all alone.
就说要独自开车横跨全国
Oh, right, Manny.
对 曼尼
I know you're scared, but your should feel proud.
我知道你在害怕 但你应该感到自豪啊
You took kind of a...
你把一个...
You can say it -- a weird kid.
你可以直说 一个小怪胎
A weird kid, and turned him into somebody
一个小怪胎养育成了一个
so comfortable with himself
对自己感到自信果敢
that he's willing to take on a pretty big adventure.
愿意去开启一段挺大冒险的男子汉
Thank you, Cam.
谢谢你 小卡
I wish I had that.
我也想有这样的教育
I mean, I was a weird kid
我小时候也是个小怪胎
whose family only made him feel weirder.
但我的家庭只让我觉得自己更怪了
I mean, it took until today to do an adventure
我一直到今天才有这份自信与勇气
that I have wanted to do since I was Manny's age.
做到我在曼尼那个年纪就想去做的冒险
I-I went to Hero-Con.
我去了英雄展
Not in costume?
没穿戏服吧
Affirmative, Fizbo.
穿了 菲茨宝
Okay, if this is something you're into,
好吧 那如果你喜欢这些
why haven't you ever told me?
你为什么从不跟我说呢
I haven't told anyone.
我从没跟任何人说过
I mean, I tried with my mom once,
我试过跟我妈说过一次
but I chickened out and told her I was gay instead.
但我临阵怂了 最后跟她说我是同性恋
And I-I wasn't even sure at that point.
那会儿我自己都还没确定性向呢
Why are there so many ways for a parent to break a kid?
为什么有这么多家长可以教育错孩子的方式啊
- Hug! - No, no, no!
-抱抱 -不 别 别啊
Aw, you know, it makes me worried for this little guy.
这让我好担心这个小伙子啊
I love my parents,
我爱我的爸妈
but they weren't exactly the best when I was...
但是他们当年也不太会教...
when I was this.
还这么大时的我
Go play.
去玩吧
Mitchell, I'm, uh, proud of the risk you took today
米奇尔 我为你今天勇敢追梦
following your heart.
感到十分骄傲
You should do more of that.
你应该多多这样
Cam, should Cal live with us?
小卡 我们该收留卡尔吗
He should.
应该
Very well.
很好
Sorry we're late. Traffic, you know.
抱歉我们迟到了 堵车嘛
I keep telling you to try Waze,
我一直叫你用防堵车导航软件
but you're scared of technology, and you shouldn't be.
可你害怕使用新科技 其实你不该怕啊
We're merging Pritchett's with a high-tech closet company.
我们要将普里契特衣柜跟高科技公司合并
Excellent.
太棒了
And, Gloria, you speak often of your passion for ventriloquism.
歌洛莉亚 你常提到你对腹语术很有兴趣
It's been a long day, Phil.
菲尔 今天已经够累了
This one needs more time.
这一个需要多一点时间
Notes from the road.
旅途随笔
Alternate title, The United States of me.
又名《我心中的美国》
Fear -- Friend or Foe?
恐惧 是敌还是友
《青少年世界》
As children, we're taught to fear what can hurt us.
在小时候 我们被教要恐惧能伤我们的事物
But as adults, we're expected to conquer what we're afraid of.
但成年之后 我们却被要求能克服恐惧
伊瑟拉视界
So what are fears?
所以什么是恐惧呢
Do they keep us alive?
恐惧是让我们生存
Or do they keep us from living?
还是让我们无法享受生活
You're blocking the driveway. Hit the road already.
你把车道堵住了 赶紧开车走人吧
Okay, I'm going.
好啦 我这就出发
Jay.
Hurry up.
快点啦
We want to go home.
我们想回家了
I can't get this damn thing to work.
这破玩意他妈就是不灵啊
Oh no, it's one of those automatic sinks.
惨了 是那种自动感应洗手台
You know what? You should do a hard reboot.
我觉得吧 你应该来个强行重启
Go back to the urinal and reapproach.
先走回小便斗再重新走近洗手台
What's going on in there?
里面发生什么事了
I can't even get a trickle out of this thing!
这玩意半滴都流不出来
I find not thinking about it helps.
不去想就尿得出了
It's the sink.
他是说水龙头
It makes no sensethat I'm waving my arms
根本没道理 我都已经挥舞手臂
like I'm directing a plane into a gate!
挥得像在指挥飞机对接舱门那么夸张了
He's gonna break it,
他会把它砸了
like he broke the remote control.
就像他把遥控器砸了一样
This is... the paper towel thing is automatic too.
真是... 那个纸巾架也是自动感应的
Oh, dad.
老爸