摩登家庭 第九季 Modern Family Season 9 第4集: Sex, Lies, and Kickball

上映日期: 2,017

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 詹姆斯·R·巴格多纳斯

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·


台词
I wonder what Manny's doing right now.
真想知道曼尼现在在做什么
Why don't you call him?
你给他打个电话吧
You call him. I don't care what he's doing.
你打啊 我又不在乎他在做什么
I'm trying not to bug him.
我在尽量不烦他
He said that he needed some time to adjust to college,
他说他需要一些时间来适应大学
原创翻译 双语字幕
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so I'm giving him --
所以我在给他
Stop the car!
停车
翻译: 冰蓝 亲爱的小饭 斑驳 洗七里
Why would you do that?!
你为什么要这样
I think that's Shorty.
那好像是小短
翻译: ET外星人 油腻希 戳穿鬼话赛太公
Shorty and I have been best friends
从我开始记事
for as long as I can remember.
小短就是我最好的朋友
He and his wife, Darlene, moved to Costa Rica
他和他老婆达琳几年前
校对: 新浪微博@赛太公
a few years back for, uh --
搬去了哥斯达黎加 原因是...
I don't know why.
我也不知道
Ruin his life eating beans, fighting malaria,
他想毁掉自己生活吧 吃吃豆子 抵抗疟疾
时间轴: 三水
drinking water people bathe in?
喝人们的洗澡水啊
This.
这种时候
This is when you sound racist!
你这种时候就听起来像有种族歧视
后期: 瓜瓜 总监: 怀念浓子的瓜瓜
You come to town and you don't tell me?
你回来都不告诉我的吗
打开微信 扫描左侧二维码或搜索公众号: 美剧炸了了解最新影视资讯字幕信息
I ought to punch you in the neck,
看老子不掐死你
you son of a bitch.
你这个王八蛋
Jay!
I want to kick you in the knee,
我要踢你的膝盖
you stupid idiot!
你这个蠢蛋
That might not be a thing.
没这种说法
You're a terrible best friend.
你是个很垃圾的最好的朋友
Don't yell at me. I'm only here a couple of days.
别冲我吼 我才回来几天
It was last-minute. I was gonna call.
临时决定回来 本来打算告诉你的
This Joe?
这是乔吗
You're huge.
你真大
Eh, I can be bigger.
我还能长更大
What are you doing? Where are you staying?
你干什么呢 住哪里
I'm checking in at the hotel over there.
我住那边的酒店
No hotels.
不能住酒店
You're as bad with money as you are with pants.
你乱花钱 就跟乱穿裤子一样
What's going on down there, anyway?
你穿的这是什么鬼
These?
这裤子吗
Palazzos.
松身裤
Never felt so comfortable.
从未感觉如此舒适
Everything goes where it wants to go.
随心所欲 毫无阻碍
Shorty, why don't you come and stay with us?
小短 不如你来住我们家吧
You will even get your own room
你还能有自己的房间呢
'cause Manny's off to college.
因为曼尼去上大学了
College?! How's he doing?
上大学 他怎么样了
I wish I knew. He needed some space.
真希望我知道 他需要一些空间
In the meantime,
在此期间
she sends him a care package the size of a Fiat,
她给他寄了个菲亚特汽车大小的爱心包裹
which included a pack of my favorite sausage.
里面还装着一包我最爱的香肠
I did not put the sausage --
我没把香肠放...
Well, where did it go, then?! I know what I ate!
不然香肠去哪儿了 我吃没吃我心里有数
There's too many things upsetting me right now.
我现在有太多烦心事了
Go get your stuff.
快去拿你的行李
Meet us back at the house. It's done.
来我们家碰头 说定了
- You got it! ?- Yes!
-没问题 -真棒
It's gonna be so nice since Manny's gone
曼尼走了后 家里终于
to have somebody fun again in the house.
又有个有趣的人 真是太好了
家 庭
摩 登
第九季 第四集
Are you ready for this, big boy?
你准备好了吗 大哥哥
Oh, I'm ready.
我准备好了
And it's gonna get pretty messy.
场面会很"凌乱"的
So, do you want to be blue or gold?
你想要当蓝色还是金色
I'll be blue.
当蓝色
'Cause I'm cool --
因为我很酷...
Aah! That tickles!
好痒
Claire recently went to a bachelorette party
克莱尔最近去了个单身女郎派对
where they gave everyone a passion painting kit.
他们送了每个人激情绘画工具
The idea is that you and your partner
这个就是让你和你伴侣
cover one another in paint --
将身上涂满颜料
get down on the canvas.
趴在画布上
And then get down on the canvas.
然后"好好作画"
?Stop squirming, Phil.
别扭来扭去了 菲尔
I'm never gonna get this paint on you.
我都没法给你涂颜料了
Okay, I'll do you.
好吧 我给你涂
You're gonna be so gold, you'll like an Oscar.
把你变成金色 就像奥斯卡小金人
- So many people to thank. ?- Oh, yeah.
-有好多人要感谢呢 -是啊
Oh, crap, it's Alex.
糟糕 是艾丽克斯
Just ignore it.
别接啊
I can't. What if something's wrong?
不行 万一是出了什么事怎么办
Hi, honey. Everything okay?
亲爱的 一切还好吗
Yeah, I'm just, uh, letting you know
是啊 我只是想告诉你
I'm sleeping at home tonight.
今晚我会回家睡
Uh, h-how far away are you?
你还有多久到
About 20 minutes.
大概二十分钟
Oh, that leaves 10 minutes for cleanup.
那我们有十分钟的时间清理
Also, is it okay if, um, Ben stays over tonight?
还有 本今晚可以住家里吗
Sure. I guess if his mommy says it's okay.
行啊 他妈咪同意就行
Mom, you don't have to take a shot at Ben
妈 你没必要每次本来我们家
every time he comes up.
都要嘲笑他一次吧
Yeah, right, like I wouldn't ask my mom.
就是嘛 我怎么可能没先问过我妈同意
I'm really supposed to ignore that?
我真的该装作没听见吗
Listen, he is my boyfriend,
听着 他是我男朋友
- and I'm getting really tired of this. - Oh, calm down.
-我真的要受够了 -冷静点
- It was just a joke. - Well, it's not funny!
-只是开玩笑啊 -一点都不好笑
When you attack Ben, you attack me.
你攻击本 就等于攻击我
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
好了好了 我知道了
Now, where were we?
我们进行到哪儿了
Honey, I kind of think maybe the moment has passed.
亲爱的 我好像没感觉了现在
Ohh, it's my dad. What now?
是我爸 又怎么了
Just ignore it.
别接啊
I can't. What if something's wrong?
不行 万一是出了什么事怎么办
- Hey, honey. - ?Hi, Dad.
-亲爱的 -嗨 老爸
Shorty's in town!
小短来了
I need that set of golf clubs I gave to Phil.
我要我送给菲尔的那套高尔夫球杆
That bonehead's certainly not putting them to any good use.
反正给那笨蛋也只是浪费那套杆子
Why, Dad? Why do you always have to attack him?
为什么 老爸 你为什么老攻击他
Oh, calm down. It was just a joke.
冷静点 只是开个玩笑啊
I'll pick them up in the morning.
我明早来取
He pisses me off so much!
我会被他气死
Come on! Let's do this!
来吧 接着玩
This doesn't feel like it's about me.
感觉你玩的目的不是因为我了
I'm gonna hop in the shower.
我要去冲个澡
What?
什么
What's been going on with you lately?
你最近怎么了
You look so handsome.
看起来很帅哦
Oh, well, thank you, sweetie.
谢谢 亲爱的
You know what,
你知道吗
I added a serum step to my skin-care regimen.
我的护肤流程又多了一项精华
W-Wait a minute.
等等
You're just angling for horseback-riding lessons,
你就是想拐我们让你去上骑马课
aren't you?
对不对
Come on! ?No.
-拜托 -不行
You're not gonna become one of those over-scheduled kids
不能让你变成那种日程满满当当的小孩
that burns out at 13
13岁就过度劳累
and wears combat boots to the beach.
还穿军靴去沙滩
I'm the least-busy Asian kid in my school.
我是我们学校里最闲的亚洲小孩了
Great. Take the other end of this sheet
很好 拉住床单另一头
and help me make up the bed for Lionel.
帮我给莱昂内尔铺床
Lionel's staying here tonight?
莱昂内尔今晚要住这里吗
Yes. ?Yes. Pepper and Ronaldo are dropping him off.
对 胡娇和罗纳多会送他过来
Last year, Pepper and Ronaldo told us
去年 胡娇和罗纳多告诉我们
that they wanted to become parents
他们想为人父母
and were on a quest to acquire Rihanna's eggs.
而且正在努力搞到蕾哈娜的卵子
And we said, "Or, you rich queens,
我们说 "你们这俩富婆
you could provide a home for a child that needs one."
也可以给需要家庭的孩子一个家啊"
So they adopted,
所以他们领养了一个
and we are a little nervous about how it's going
我们有点担心事情发展的情况
because, um, when they first introduced us to Lionel,
因为当他们头一回介绍莱昂内尔的时候
we could tell that it wasn't a great fit.
我们看得出来他们不是很合
3个月前
Hi, Lionel, it's nice meeting you.
莱昂内尔 很高兴认识你啊
Hey. ?Cool shirt.
衣服挺酷
It's a basketball costume.
是篮球变装服
Jersey.
是运动衫
Jersey. Right.
是运动衫 对
《泽西男孩》是一档音乐剧其中泽西与运动衫同词
Like "Jersey Boys."
就像《泽西男孩》
Okay, somebody fix me a drink.
好了 谁给我杯喝的吧
We just got cheeseburgers out of a window
我们刚从车窗外买了芝士汉堡
and ate in our car.
还坐在车里吃了
Do we have to disclose that when we sell it?
我们卖车时需要坦白受过这灾害吗
It seemed like a bit of a rocky start,
虽然一开始不太顺利
but Pepper said it's going well.
但胡娇说现在还挺不错的
Parenting does change you.
看来做父母确实会改变你
You know, before Lily, I could be so dramatic.
有莉莉之前 我有时候会很戏精
- Oh, and I used to be so uptight. - But look at us now.
-而我以前总是紧张过度 -但看看我们现在
- Oh, sorry. - Okay, your hand almost went in my mouth.
-抱歉 -你的手差点儿伸到我嘴里了
Come in, come in.
快进来
Ohh! I like this!
我好喜欢这个
It's a lot better than what was here before.
这样比以前在这里的东西好看多了
Uh, our kitchen was there before.
那里以前是我们的厨房
Am I being unclear?
我刚才说的不够清楚吗
Okay, well, Lionel, don't you look sharp?
莱昂内尔 你好时髦啊
It's Burberry from Harrods in London. Right?
是伦敦哈罗德买的巴宝莉 对吧
Ohh, you wonderful child.
你这孩子太棒了
You won't need those flashcards much longer.
你很快就再也不需要那些名牌学习卡了
Here, for Lionel's stay --
给 莱昂内尔住这里用的
some snacks, toiletries,
一些小零食 洗漱用品
a design magazine you two could also flip through.
还有一本设计杂志 你们俩也可以读读
Okay, so, Lionel, uh,
好了 莱昂内尔
we have you set up here in the den.
我们给你在小房间里铺好床了
That's where the TV is,
电视也在那里
and Cam tells me that we have a sports package.
小卡说我们家有订体育频道呢
That's okay.
没关系
I should practice my cursive.
我得练习写草书了
Pepper says penmanship is a lost art.
胡娇说书法是一门失传的艺术
Yes. As are thank-you notes,
是的 就跟感谢信一样要失传了
which is why we can only assume
所以我们只能猜测
you enjoyed our anniversary gift.
你们很喜欢我们送的周年礼物
Anyway, we have to get to the airport.
总之 我们得去机场了
How do we say goodbye, Lionel?
再见怎么说呢 莱昂内尔
Au revoir.
再会[法语]
Come walk us to the door.
送我们去门口吧
What have they done to him?
他们把他怎么了
Turned him into a little black Pepper.
把他变成了小"黑胡娇"
It's so infuriating.
太气人了
She treats you like you're not even a man.
感觉她都没把你当个男人对待
Doesn't that bother you?
你不生气吗
You know, if you please everyone,
如果你讨好每个人
you're not making enough progress.
你就没有取得足够的进步
Cheryl Sandberg.
雪莉·桑德伯格名言
美国精英女企业家此名言来自她鼓励女人追求目标的书籍《向前一步》
Hey, is this garbage?
这是垃圾吗
I don't know. What's in it?
我不知道 里面有什么
Uh, "Passion Painting Erotic Art Kit"?
"激情情趣绘画工具"
What is that?
那是什么
- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.
-天啊 -天啊
Gross! Ugh! ?Uh.
太恶心了
You know what?
其实呢
If she wants to belittle you like you're some child,
如果她想把你当个小孩来贬低
we are going to use this
我们就用这个
to show her what kind of man you are.
让她瞧瞧你有多男人
I don't want to get paint on my T-shirt and socks.
我不想我的T恤和袜子沾上颜料啊
Well, maybe you'll just have to take them off for this one.
那可能这次你得都脱掉了
Morning! How's my guy?
早上好 怎么样啊 兄弟
Awful. I had a zillion nightmares.
糟透了 我昨晚做了无数噩梦
I was talking to Shorty, but gee, that's rough.
我是和小短讲话 不过 你是挺惨啊
Hey, let's have breakfast at my club today.
咱们一块去我的俱乐部吃早餐吧
We do a thing on Friday called "Yesterday's Potatoes."
我们每周五会做一个"昨日土豆"
They take last night's French fries
他们把前一天晚的炸薯条
and make 'em into today's home fries,
做成今天的家常土豆
and last night's fries were fantastic.
而前一晚的薯条超好吃啊
Sounds delicious, but, uh, Gloria already cooked.
听起来不错 但歌洛莉亚已经做好了
Two poached eggs, chorizo,
俩荷包蛋 西班牙辣香肠
and a croissant with blackberry jam.
还有抹黑莓酱的牛角包
- Yes! - ?Manny's favorite.
-赞啊 -曼尼最喜欢的早饭
Geez, why don't you just call him?
天啊 你干嘛不直接给他打电话
I made it out of habit.
顺着习惯就做了的
But thankfully, Shorty loved it.
但幸好 小短喜欢
Didn't you, Papi?
是吧 小乖乖
Okay, I'll tell you what.
好吧 听我说
Why don't you get out of those pajamas...
你干嘛不换下那睡衣
What pajamas?
什么睡衣
come sit while I -- Those aren't pajamas?
来坐 那不是睡衣吗
No. Actually, Gloria and I are gonna go to the farmer's market
不是 其实呢 歌洛莉亚和我送乔上学后
- after we drop Joe off at school. - ?Why?
-打算去农贸市场 -为什么
It's kind of work-related.
算是跟我工作有关吧
Your friend has a very successful juice business
你的朋友有着成功的果汁生意呢
in Costa Rica.
在哥斯达黎加
They call me the Fruit King.
他们称我水果之王[骚基之王]
They must have seen the outfit. I'll tell you what.
他们肯定是看到你的衣服了 听我说
I got a little thing this morning at the office.
我今天早上办公室还有点事
Why don't we meet back here at 1:00
我们1:00在这儿见
for a little best-friend catch-up? Deal?
咱俩好朋友好好聊聊 好吗
Deal. Sounds good.
好的 听起来不错
You know what doesn't sound good?
知道什么听起来不怎么样吗
One grown man calling another grown man his best friend.
一个爷们叫另一个爷们为最好的朋友
She doesn't get us. See you, buddy.
她不懂我们 回见 老兄
What is that?
那是什么
Crostini with edamame puree.
白面包加毛豆泥
Pepper says anyone who's still doing tomato-basil
胡娇说还在吃西红柿罗勒的人
missed the boat, or should have.
错过了流行[船] 或者说活该错过
Hey, Lionel, you don't have to eat
莱昂内尔 你不一定要吃
that stuff they brought for you.
他们给你带来的东西
We -- we won't tell.
我们不会告密的
Ch-- Pop a Cheeto. Be a kid.
来个奇多 尽情做个小孩
But the guys went to the trouble
但他俩费心
of making Rosa make this for me.
让罗莎给我做了这个
I should finish it.
我应该吃完它
Hey, Lionel, heads up. Catch.
莱昂内尔 当心 接着
No, thank you.
不了 谢谢
Pepper and Ronaldo don't allow ball play in the house.
胡娇和罗纳多不让在家里玩球
Well, you aren't at Pepper and Ronaldo's house.
你不在胡娇和罗纳多家里
This is a fun house.
这里是好玩之家
Yeah, that's what they call it.
是啊 他们也这么叫
Well, now I feel like throwing something,
现在我真的想扔东西了
so, hey, Lionel, heads up. Catch.
莱昂内尔 注意啦 接着
Uh, I'm sorry.
对不起
I told Pepper I couldn't move my arms in this jacket,
我和胡娇说了 穿这外套我胳膊动不了
but he said, "Fit over function."
但他说 "修身胜过合身"
No, you know what? I-It's fine. It's fine.
不 没事 没事
- Things break. - I'll pay for it.
-东西碎了没什么 -我来赔
No, you won't. We got it for free
不 你不用 那是我们在加油站
when we opened a credit card at the gas station.
开信用卡时免费送的
I insist. I have traveler's checks in my bag.
我坚持赔 我包里有旅行支票
No, Lionel, it's f-- okay.
不 莱昂内尔 没事的
No, you know what, this is upsetting me.
不 这让我很难受
He dresses the way they tell him to dress.
他穿着也受他们控制
He eats what they tell him to eat.
饮食也受他们控制
I know. They control his every move,
是啊 他们控制了他的一言一行
and he clearly feels pressured to go along with it.
也很明显能看出他为了配合压力很大
That's probably why he keeps telling me
或许这就是为什么他一直对我说
how lucky I am to live here.
我能住在这很幸运
He said that? Wh-Why didn't you tell us?
他说了这种话吗 你怎么不告诉我们
You guys don't leave a lot of space to jump into your conversat-
你们俩说话时不太给别人插话的余...
You know what this is, Cam?
你知道这是怎么回事吗 小卡
He's obviously jealous of Lily
他明显很嫉妒莉莉
because we allow her to be a kid and have fun.
因为我们允许她做个孩子 能尽情玩耍
Imagine how jealous he'll be
如果他知道我能去学骑马
when he finds out about my horseback-riding lessons.
想象一下他该有多嫉妒啊
- Let it go. - We're not doing that.
-放弃吧 -想得美
You know what I'm in the mood for?
你知道我现在想吃什么吗
And I know it sounds crazy, but waffles.
我知道听起来很神经 但我想吃华夫饼
What the hell?
什么鬼
You're right. You keep me from flying too high.
你说得对 你总能阻止我浪过头
"Happy early birthday, Mom.
"提前祝你生日快乐 妈妈
Love, Alex and Ben." Oh, my God.
爱你的艾丽克斯和本" 我的天啊
I know. Your birthday isn't for six months.
对啊 还有六个月才到你生日呢
No, Phil!
不 菲尔
Hey, guys. Cool painting. Who did it?
二位好 这画挺酷的 谁画的
?Alex and Ben.
艾丽克斯和本
Oh, I think I heard them making it last night.
我昨晚好像听到他们作画了
She kept saying he was doing it wrong, but it looks good to me.
她一直说他"做"得不对 但我看挺好的
I mean, I don't know anything about art,
虽然我对艺术毫无了解
but... I know what I like.
但 我了解自己喜欢什么
I make one comment about Ben's mommy,
我不过调侃一句本是妈宝
and Alex does this.
艾丽克斯就来这一出
It's aggressive.
她太好斗了
I remember when she made a turkey with her handprint.
感觉她用掌印画火鸡才多久之前
She's just trying to get
她只是想气我
some sort of reaction out of me, isn't she?
看我什么反应 对不对
But you're not gonna take the bait, right?
但你不会上钩的 对吧
- You're bigger than that. ?- I don't know, Phil.
-你没那么小气 -我可说不好 菲尔
This is-This is very disrespectful.
她这可是对我们大不敬
I think she needs to be taken down a peg.
我觉得我们得挫挫她的锐气
So then, you'll just sit her down and talk to her, right?
你打算坐下和她好好聊聊 对吧
I could do that,
那也行
maybe over dinner with her and Ben...
或许在她和本过来一起吃晚餐时说
There you go. I'm proud of you.
这就对了 我为你骄傲
...A dinner no one will soon forget.
一顿令人难忘的晚餐
Fine.
好吧
But know that I'm having a waffle.
但我告诉你 我要去吃华夫饼了
This is what you're doing to our family!
瞧瞧你对我们家做了些什么
Stop. You know the rules. Helmet.
停车 你知道规矩 戴好头盔
Off with you.
继续开吧
Shorty, you're kidding.
小短 你在说笑
I never joke when it comes to fruit.
我从不拿水果的事说笑
That miracle in your hand is a half plum, half apricot.
你手里的奇迹之果是李子和杏杂交的
There was a time they could only accomplish that in juice.
想当初只有一起打成果汁才能让二者结合
Oh. ?Jay.
Oh, sorry, I kind of lost track of time.
不好意思 我一高兴忘记时间了
Hey, no worries.
别在意
Who among us hasn't blown off his best friend
我不过是你四年没见的最好的朋友
小短是在第5季第13集离开的
he hasn't seen in four years to go fruit shopping?
你为了买水果放我鸽子也是人之常情
Sounds like somebody could use a Pomegrapefruit Blast.
感觉某人该来杯石榴葡萄大爆炸降降火
Blast means "yogurt."
"大爆炸"就是"酸奶"
You've been spending too much time in the jungle.
你在丛林里住得太久了
What you need is a little civilization.
你需要重新体验一下文明
Let's go bowling.
我们去打保龄球吧
Well, I would love to, but, uh...
我很想去 不过...
I kind of want to take a nap before we got to the theater.
我想在去剧院前睡一会儿
- Um, you're taking Shorty to the theater? - Ah, yes.
-你要带小短去剧院吗 -是的
I got the tickets for me and Manny,
我买票本是想和曼尼一起去
but he can't go
但他不能去
and Shorty loves "Wicked."
小短又很喜欢《魔法坏女巫》
又名《女巫前传》 是知名音乐剧讲述《绿野仙踪》里那位坏女巫的故事
He thinks he's a Galinda
他觉得他像好女巫格琳达
and his brother an Elphaba.
他哥像坏女巫爱尔法巴
You know what you're doing, don't you?
你意识到自己在做什么了吗
You're turning Shorty into Manny.
你在把小短变成曼尼
Stop hogging my best friend!
别再霸占我最好的朋友了
Okay, if you're so upset, then you can take him.
好吧 如果你不爽 那你带他去
But stop saying "best friend."
但别再说"最好的朋友"了
You're too old to be using that word.
你这个年纪不该用那个词了
Hannah from Montana has a best friend.
蒙大拿的汉娜可以有最好的朋友
麦莉·赛勒斯主演的青少年喜剧《汉娜·蒙塔娜》
You don't.
而你不可以
At least my best friend isn't my son.
至少我最好的朋友不是我儿子
I'm your best friend, Mom?
我是你最好的朋友吗 妈妈
Yes, Papi.
是的 小乖乖
You are the son that he's talking about.
你就是他刚才说的那个儿子
Look, if he said Lily's lucky to be here,
如果他说莉莉能在我们家很幸运
then he's clearly unhappy at Pepper and Ronaldo's.
那他显然在胡娇和罗纳多家过得不开心
I mean, w-what kid wouldn't be?
哪个孩子会开心啊
I mean, that house is so sterile.
他们家得维持那么一尘不染
Do you remember when Pepper got mad at me
你记不记得那次胡娇生我气时
and he laid down plastic
他先铺好塑料布
before throwing a drink in my face?
才朝我脸上泼饮料
So then, we have to say something.
那我们必须得去说点什么吧
?I mean, we're their friends.
我们大家是朋友
We're experienced parents.
我们为人父母又比较有经验
There's -- There's still time for them to change.
他们现在改还来得及啊
No, it's not our place.
别 我们没资格管
Let's just, you know, stay out of it.
我们就... 别管人家家务事吧
They keep their door unlocked?
他们都不锁门吗
That's the upside of not having anything worth stealing.
这就是家里没什么东西可偷的好处
You're terrible parents.
你们是糟糕的父母
Okay, so, I guess we are saying something.
好吧 看来我们还是要说
All right.
好了
Time for some tough love, boys.
是时候来点严厉的教育[激烈的爱]了
Oh, goodness, we feared you two
天啊 我们就害怕
might be into that sort of thing,
你们俩喜欢那种"玩法"
but we're gonna have to pass.
但我们还是免了吧
Oh, you can't possibly think that's what he meant.
我才不信你真觉得他是这意思
No, I'm deflecting!
不 我在转移话题
I feel the sickening threat of brutal honesty,
我感受到残酷坦诚的恶心威胁
and I'm wildly uncomfortable.
我极其不舒服
Okay, well, here goes.
好吧 要开始了
We think it's great that you adopted Lionel, but...
我们觉得你们收养莱昂内尔很好 但是...
Okay, a little early for that reaction.
好吧 这反应也太早了
I haven't even gotten to say,
我还没说到
"Stop imposing your fancy ways on that poor child."
"别把你们的花里胡哨强加到可怜的孩子身上"
And hit it.
可以反应了
Look, we have been at this parenting thing
我们做父母
for a while now, and...
也有一段时间了 而...
Yeah, and Lily is such a delight!
是啊 莉莉最"讨人喜欢"了
Sorry, I'm gonna be lashing out for a bit.
对不起 我可能会有点抬杠
Anyway, um, part of parenting
总之 为人父母有时候
is exposing your children to things that you value.
就是要让孩子接触到你重视的东西
You know, art and culture and good food...
比方说艺术 文化和好的食物...
That's exactly what we're doing.
我们就是这么做的
But it's also about letting them figure out who they are,
但有时候还要让他们发掘自我
doing things that they want to do
做他们自己想做的事
even though you don't like 'em.
即使你们不喜欢
Yeah, he's a kid.
他是个孩子
He doesn't want opera at bedtime and caviar on his eggs.
他不会想睡觉听歌剧和在鸡蛋里加鱼子酱
He -- He wants to play ball and eat Cheetos.
他...他想要玩球和吃奇多
Well, I did see him spit some sashimi into a napkin,
我确实看见他把生鱼片吐到了餐巾上
but I hoped he was just worried about his weight.
但我当时希望他只是在担心自己的体重
You know what, let's get outside.
这样吧 我们出去
Let's go do something fun and show Lionel
我们做点开心的事 让莱昂内尔知道
that it -- that it's okay to be a kid with you guys.
在你们面前做个孩子也没关系
What do you say?
你们觉得怎么样
- Get in there. - It's fine.
-拿吧 -没关系
And from what fromagerie...
这是用什么奶酪厂的...
- You're from Lubbock, Texas. - You son of a bitch!
-你就是个德州小城市人 -你个混蛋
Oh, I can't believe no one told me
没想到没人跟我说过
kickball is performed on grass.
足垒球是在草上玩的
I can barely stand Shakespeare in a park.
在公园里演出的莎士比亚我都看不下去了
This is not great for your people.
这对你们族群可不太好
Okay, Lionel, bring me home.
好了 莱昂内尔 来个全垒打吧
You got this.
你可以的
Yes, I do, sir.
好的 先生
All right.
Yeah!
太棒了
- Oh, my God, what is happening? - Hit him!
-天啊 发生什么了 -打他
Pepper, hit him! Oh!
胡娇 打他
Hit Cam!
打小卡
Oh, my --!
我的...
You can't possibly think that's what he meant.
我才不信你真觉得他是这意思
Oh! ?Give me that.
给我
- Give me that. - Okay.
-给我 -好
I was skeptical at first
我一开始也心里打鼓
because orange is so over right now,
毕竟橙子过时很久了
but I love it.
但我很喜欢
You like it, too, Pepper?
你喜欢吗 胡娇
Mm, wonderful.
太好吃了
I haven't seen this much artificial color
我上一次见到那么多人工色素[颜色]
since Ted Turner got his hands on "Casablanca."
是《北非谍影》被修复成彩色版那会儿
该知名杰出电影最早是黑白电影被修复成彩色版后 许多影迷十分嫌弃
Your grandparents grew up in a trailer.
你爷爷奶奶是在拖车里长大的
I hate you.
我恨你
All right, who's up next?
好了 下一个到谁了
- Pepper! ?- Pepper!
-胡娇 -胡娇
Oh. How many scenes does kickball have?
足垒球有多少幕
You can do it, Peppercito!
你可以的 胡娇儿
Remember, it's just like dancing.
记住 就像跳舞一样
Dancing.
跳舞
And five, six, seven, eight, kick!
五 六 七 八 踢
Oh! ?Pepper!
胡娇
Ohh! Oh, I'm hurt!
我受伤了
I'm really hurt!
疼死我了
Oh, if you two had any money, I'd sue you.
如果你们两个有钱的话 我会告死你们
Mi amor, it's okay.
我亲爱的 没关系
It's not okay.
有关系
I'm out in the wild, schvitzing like a line cook.
我在荒野曝晒 像个帮厨一样大汗淋漓
It's one humiliation after the next!
一波接一波地被羞辱
Lionel, sweetheart, I want to be the father you need,
莱昂内尔 亲爱的 我想要成为你要的父亲
but this is not me.
但这不是我
I hate sports and nature and --
我讨厌运动和大自然 还有
and sherbet --
还有果汁牛奶冻
God, do I hate sherbet!
老天 我真讨厌果汁牛奶冻
果汁牛奶冻由果汁和乳制品制成雪芭由新鲜果汁和糖制成 不含乳制品
There's ice cream and sorbet and nothing in between.
世上只有冰淇淋和雪芭 没有中间的了
Just so you know, I don't care about kickball
其实呢 我对足垒球没兴趣
or Popsicles or any of that stuff.
或冰棒 或任何那一类的东西
I like how we live.
我喜欢我们的生活方式
You do?
真的吗
Lionel, don't feel pressured to say that if you don't mean it.
莱昂内尔 不用因为压力而说违心的话
I mean it.
是真的
Backgammon in the study, cheese from France,
我喜欢书房里的西洋双陆棋 法国产的芝士
not a cheetah in sunglasses.
而不是戴着太阳眼镜的豹子
Lionel, you're melting my heart.
莱昂内尔 我的心都要被你融化了
Mine, too, you perfect boy.
我也是 你这个完美的孩子
What made you think I didn't like our life?
你们怎么会觉得我不喜欢我们的生活
Well, now, see... ?
是这样的
They were forcing you to,
他们强迫你
- and it just seemed to us... - It seemed to us...
-我们以为... -我们觉得...
You told Lily that she was lucky to live with us.
你跟莉莉说她和我们住在一起很幸运
- Remember? - I was trying to make her feel better.
-记得吗 -我是想让她心里好受一点
I got so much, and she got...
我拥有如此多 而她...
They give her haircuts at home.
她的头发是他们在家剪的
Okay, I took a class.
我可是上过培训课的
They wouldn't even let her take horseback-riding lessons.
他们连骑马课都不让她去上
- Because it's dangerous. - Because it's dangerous.
-因为很危险 -因为很危险
Or is it because you have to drive me across town at 7:00 A.M.?
还是因为你们懒得早上7点载我大老远去上课
I thought good parents
优秀的家长
were supposed to do things their kids want to do?
不是应该满足孩子的愿望吗
Okay, well, it's not not dangerous,
好吧 但也不是不危险
and she's also too young, so...
而且她还太小 所以...
Cam, come on. The jig's up.
小卡 算了 罪证确凿
Yes, Lily, we were -- we were being selfish, okay?
没错 莉莉 我们太自私了
You can have your lessons.
你可以去上课
Thank you.
谢谢
Can I take horseback-riding lessons with her, too?
我能不能跟她一起上骑马课
Anything you want.
你想要什么都行
You can swing by and pick him up on your way.
你们可以顺路来我们家接上他
Hey, there.
我回来了
Hi, honey. How are you?
老公 你怎么样啊
Good.
挺好的
Well, you seem less scary. ?
你看上去没那么可怕了
Does this mean we're gonna have a nice, pleasant dinner
这是不是代表我们会跟女儿和她男友
with our daughter and her boyfriend?
共进一顿友好愉快的晚餐了
Hey, give me a little credit.
对我有点信心好吗
I worked so hard all day
我忙了一整天
just to make sure I got everything ready.
就为了确保我把一切都准备好了
Oh, come on!
不是吧
You have got to be kidding me.
你一定是在逗我呢吧
Well, it turns out Speedy Frame really lives up to its name.
"极速画框公司"果然不负盛名
We're here!
我们来了
Claire, I got you a bottle of pi-- No!
克莱尔 我给你带了一瓶加州葡... 不
Oh, good, you got our gift.
太好了 你收到我们送的礼物
You gave it to them?
你送给他们了吗
Don't freak out, babe. That's exactly what she wants.
别慌 宝宝 她想要的正是这个
Wow, Mom, I really love it there.
妈妈 挂在那儿我真喜欢
Me, too.
我也是
Sex painting on the wall means Alex was in her head.
性爱画作挂到墙上说明艾丽克斯成功攻入她心
And I wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon.
而我攻进来就打算闹一阵子才走
I don't know where that came from.
我不知道怎么会摆出这种手势
More green beans?
再来点豆角吗
Oh, yes. Don't mind if I do.
好啊 我就不客气了
I have to admit, I feel slightly uncomfortable.
我得承认 我感觉有点怪怪的
Well, it's getting late.
时候不早了
It's 7:30.
才七点半
So, Dad, how's work?
爸爸 工作怎么样了
No. We're not gonna sit here and pretend.
不 我们不会坐在这里装没事
We're going to talk about this.
我们要谈谈那幅画
Your father's right.
你爸爸说得对
When I saw that painting, I thought...
我看到那幅画时 就觉得...
you're too restrained.
你太克制自己了
- You two need to loosen up a little. - That's not what I meant.
-你们得放纵一点 -我要谈的不是这个
Oh, no, no, no.
不不不
I appreciate the advice, and that should be an easy fix
我感激你的建议 而且这问题很容易解决
now that I've come into my own with such a virile partner.
毕竟我现在有一个"精"力充沛的伴侣
Oh, my God.
天啊
Okay, that is enough!
够了
Look what you're doing to this poor man,
瞧你对这个可怜的男子做了什么
putting him in the middle of this twisted power struggle
让他夹在你们俩之间扭曲变态的
between the two of you!
权力斗争中
This is exactly what you and your dad always did to me.
这正是你和你爸整天对我做的事
What are you talking about?
你在说什么啊
The first time I met your dad,
我第一次见你爸的时候
who did not approve me, you kept kissing me.
他不认可我 你就一直亲我
Or the first time we went away with your family
还有我们第一次和你家人
to that cabin and you made all those noises.
去小木屋度假时 你故意各种呻吟
Th-That wasn't about that.
我呻吟不是为了气他
Then where did those noises go, Claire?
那如今这些呻吟都到哪儿去了 克莱尔
I will not stand here while you tear poor Ben down
我不会束手旁观看着你手撕本
the way that Jay tore me down,
就像你爸当年也手撕了我一样
and, Ben, were you blue or gold?
还有 本 你是蓝色还是金色
- I need to know. - I was blue.
-我必须得知道 -我是蓝色
知名电影 剧中部分角色全身蓝色
I wanted to feel like an Avatar.
我想要来点《阿凡达》的感觉
Ben, I'm sorry.
本 是我不对
Phil and Alex are right.
菲尔跟艾丽克斯说得对
You don't deserve to be treated this way.
你不应该被如此对待
Thank you, Claire. You know, I --
谢谢 克莱尔 其实我...
Not finished. I am doing to you...
我还没说完 我对你做的事
...exactly what my father did to me and Phil.
就是当年我爸对我与菲尔做的事
No one was good enough for his little girl, and...
他觉得任何人都配不上他的宝贝女儿...
And I suppose nobody's good enough for mine.
我想我也觉得没人配得上我的宝贝女儿
But, honey, I've been where you are right now,
但亲爱的 我也曾站在你这立场
and I'm the last person
所以我是最不应该
who should be making it harder for you.
给你增添无数磨难的人
I'm...I'm so sorry.
我真的很对不起
And I'm sorry I left the sex painting for you to find.
我不该故意留下性爱画作给你们看
If it makes you feel any better,
不知道你听完会不会开心点
we faked it.
其实画是假的
Ben was so freaked out, he couldn't perform.
本吓死了 根本无法"表现"
Doesn't make me feel any better.
我听了一点都没开心啊
That helps a lot.
但我开心多了
《魔法坏女巫》
? I do believe I have been changed for the better ?
? 我相信自己已变得比以前更好 ?
I still don't understand why she's green.
我还是没懂为什么她是绿色的
这首是好女巫与坏女巫对唱的歌曲《For Good》坏女巫小时候喝了魔酒 变成绿皮肤
? Because I knew you ?
? 因为我认识了你 ?
? Because I knew you ?
? 因为我认识了你 ?
? Because I knew you ?
? 因为我认识了你 ?
? I have been changed ?
? 让我永远地... ?
They used to be so close.
她们以前曾关系那么好
- You okay? - ? For good ?
-你还好吧 -? 改变了自己 ?
- What happened to them? - I don't know.
-她们怎么变成这样了 -我不知道啊
一个金发碧眼的万人迷 一个绿皮肤的"怪物"从竞争对手变成至交 最后却因为立场不同成为敌人
I-I dozed off for a couple of minutes.
我中间睡着了几分钟
Excuse me. Excuse me.
不好意思 借过一下
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
对不起 不好意思
Damn it.
I should've sent Gloria.
早知道就该让歌洛莉亚来
Hey, fella.
兄弟
What happened in there?
你这是怎么了
I'm a fraud, Jay.
杰 我是个骗子
I'm a damn fraud.
我就是个大骗子
Come on. We all cry at weird stuff.
别这样啦 人人都有怪异的哭点
For me, it's when boxers hug after a fight.
像我是拳击手打完之后拥抱的那一刻
It's not the crying I'm worried about.
我的重点不是哭
You were right.
其实你说得没错
You said I would lose everything if I went to Costa Rica,
你说过我要是去哥斯达黎加 就会倾家荡产
and I did.
你说对了
What are you talking about?
你在说什么鬼
I-I-I thought you were a big juice magnate.
你不是什么果汁业大亨吗
Lies! It's all lies, Jay!
谎话 都是谎话
I'm not no juice magnate.
我才不是什么果汁大亨
I had a juice stand, and things were okay --
我开了个果汁小摊 本来一切顺利
until these monkeys got a hold of my knives.
直到后来猴子拿到了我的刀...
The lawyer says I can't talk about it.
律师说我不能谈这件事
Then Darlene takes off with this honcho in zip lines
达琳也跟高空滑索的老板好上
and leaves me.
然后离我而去
That's why I've been avoiding you.
所以我才一直躲着你
I'm a disgusting loser!
我就是个丢人现眼的废物
Who are you talking to?
你把我当什么人了
You don't need to be embarrassed.
在我面前你怕什么丢人
But you said, "Don't come crying to me
但你说过"你到时候出事了
when it all turns to hell and I have to pick up the pieces."
可别来找我哭 我还得收拾烂摊子"
- You said that! - ?It's just what you say.
-你说的 -也就是说说而已嘛
Of course I'm gonna pick up the pieces.
我当然会帮忙你收拾残局啊
What else would I do?
不然我还能怎么样
You're my best friend.
你是我最好的朋友啊
And you're my best friend, damn it. Come on.
妈的 你也是我最好的朋友啊 要抱抱
I'm better because I knew you.
因为认识你 我变得更好了
Best friends forever.
一辈子当最好的好朋友
Yeah, Gloria's right. I...I hear it now.
歌洛莉亚说得对 我现在懂了
Manny open the door.
曼尼开门嘛
I know you are in there.
我知道你在房里
Mom, what are you doing here.
妈 你来做什么
I know that you said that you want your space,
我知道你说过你想有自己的空间
but it's so hard on me, ok?
但对我来说真的很难熬
So, I want a text message at the end of everyday,
所以我要你每天睡前给我发一封短信
telling me you are ok.
跟我报平安
And three times a week,
然后每周三次
a picture of your face
发你的自拍给我
so I can look into your eyes
这样我才能看着你的眼睛
and see if you are lying to me.
知道你有没有说谎骗我
Mother, we texted yesterday morning.
妈 我们昨天早上才互通过短信
No, we didn't. That was days ago.
才没有呢 上次都多久之前了
Yesterday at 8:37A.M.
昨天早上8点37分
You asked if I got your care package,
你问我收到你寄的爱心包裹了没
and said don't tell Jay I gave you a sausage.
还让我别告诉杰你给我寄了香肠
Then you accidentally hit voice memo,
然后你不小心发了语音消息
and I heard you tell Stella to go in a yard and die.
我听到你叫斯黛拉找块地去死
Sorry. I just miss you.
对不起嘛 我好想你
I guess it's not so terrible of you stopping by every now and then.
你偶尔来看看我应该也没关系啦