摩登家庭 第九季 Modern Family Season 9 第7集: Winner Winner Turkey Dinner

上映日期: 2,017

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 詹姆斯·R·巴格多纳斯

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·


台词
Does everyone have a glass? I'm just giving my Thanksgiving toast.
大家都有酒了吗 我要开始感恩节祝酒了
感恩节晚餐
Oh, come on, Dad. Isn't it weird that
拜托老爸 你不觉得这样很怪吗
every year you single out one person
每年都要选一个不知为何
who somehow made you extra proud this year?
反正就是让你觉得格外骄傲的人
原创翻译 双语字幕
It makes the rest of us feel like we --
这让我们其他人觉得...
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It's you, Claire.
是你 克莱尔
Yeah! I knew it!
真棒 我就知道
And you, Phil, and you, Mitchell.
还有你 菲尔 米奇尔
翻译: 冰蓝 洗七里
Actually, it's all of you.
实际上是你们所有人
I know I get a hard time
我知道我在家庭中引发竞争
for stirring up competition in the family,
你们都对我都颇有微词
翻译: 人生淫家赛太公
but look at the results.
但瞧瞧结果
Phil scoring with his new magic shop.
菲尔新开了家魔术用品店
Cam winning the big game.
小卡带的球队赢得了重要比赛
校对: 赛太公与YY猫一起攻克难关
Claire winning the race.
克莱尔赢了跑步比赛
And Mitchell scaring away that burglar.
而米奇尔吓跑了那个小偷
时间轴: 三水
And you are a winner, too, Jay.
你也是赢家 杰
He wanted to spend more time with Joe,
他想跟乔共度更多时光
后期: 瓜瓜 总监: 怀念浓子的瓜瓜
so he's dropping him off
所以他每天
and picking him up from school every day.
都送他上学 接他放学
Dad, what is wrong with her?
爸爸 她怎么了
打开微信 扫描左侧二维码或搜索公众号: 美剧炸了了解最新影视资讯字幕信息
I challenged her to get
我挑战她
to 100,000 steps in a week.
一周内走十万步
- That's easy. - That's so easy.
-那很容易 -真容易
Without shopping.
不算购物
- I get -- I get the challenge. - No.
-我明白挑战难处了 -不
She's 1,000 steps from glory.
她还剩1000步就获得荣誉了
Like the rest of you,
跟你们一样
she was motivated by my stingy praise.
她的动力来源于我的吝于赞美
As I look around the room, I see nothing but winners,
我环顾四周 看到的全是赢家
and I couldn't be prouder.
我感到十分骄傲
To us!
敬我们
Everyone here is a winner.
这里的每个人都是赢家
家 庭
摩 登
第九季 第七集
You knew I was nervous about the big game,
你知道这场重要比赛让我很紧张
那天早些时候
so you set out my -- Okay.
所以你拿出了我的 好吧
Sprinkles are for heroes.
糖屑是给英雄准备的
Here, Daddy.
给 二爸
Thank you for protecting us.
谢谢你保护我们
We're all so proud of Mitchell about what happened the other day.
我们都为米奇尔那天做的事感到骄傲
What I was thinking was, we could...
我的想法是我们可以...
Oh, my gosh!
天啊
Was there a break-in?
有人闯入了吗
Yeah, yeah. It was -- It was crazy.
对啊对啊 简直要疯了
I just started yelling at him,
我当时就冲他吼叫
and I guess I scared him away, so...
我好像就把他吓跑了 所以...
Oh, my gosh, sweetie. Are you okay?
天啊 亲爱的 你没事吧
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
是的 我没事
- You're so brave. - Oh, honey.
-你真勇敢 -宝贝
So proud.
万分骄傲
If the robber comes back when Brave Daddy isn't here,
如果小偷回来了 而勇敢二爸不在的话
- we can use these. - Okay, no, no, no, no.
-我们可以用这个 -不不
I had to confiscate those at school.
那是我在学校没收的
They're very dangerous,
这很危险
and, plus, you should avoid the cliche.
而且你最好避开这种亚洲人刻板印象物件
Confiscating contraband is part of my new job at school.
没收违禁品是我在学校新工作的一部分
I was recently promoted to
我最近升职为
acting vice principal.
代理[演戏]副校长了
Which has nothing to do with acting.
这跟演戏毫无关系
That was made very clear to me.
他们非常明确地跟我说了
Hey. Hey. Y-You seem a little nervous.
你看起来有些紧张
Are you -- Are you worried about the big game?
你是在担心这场重要比赛吗
Yeah. I'm a little nervous.
是啊 我有些紧张
The Rattlesnakes have beat us the last six years,
响尾蛇队过去六年里都打败了我们
and we cannot lose.
而我们不能输
Is any of this because their coach is a woman?
你这么紧张是因为他们的教练是女人吗
I mean, shouldn't we be rooting for her, because --
我们不该支持她吗 因为
Oh, what, because she's another straight person coaching football?
因为她是一个执教橄榄球的异性恋吗
- Well, good luck. - Thank you, sweetie.
-祝你好运 -谢谢你 亲爱的
You know, I can't promise that I'll make you as proud as your daddy
我无法保证我让你感受到的骄傲
who fought off a burglar, but I will try.
和打跑了小偷的二爸一样多 但我会努力
You know, there's murmurs that the booster club
有传言说后援俱乐部
is gonna divert some of our money to the science program.
要把给我们的一些经费转给科学项目
Because that's what made the Kennedys cool, you know --
因为霸气的肯尼迪家族就是这么变酷的
playing science on the lawn.
靠在草坪上玩科学什么的
Ow! The first person who figures out how to stick these numbers
第一个想出怎么把号码布一次贴到位的人
right on is gonna be rich.
肯定能发大财
You could just pin it to your shirt before you put it on.
你可以在穿上背心之前先贴好啊
Have you shared this idea with anyone else?
你跟别人分享过这个点子吗
When Alex was a baby, I used to throw her in a jogging stroller,
艾丽克斯小时候 我会把她放进慢跑婴儿车里
and she was my running buddy.
她是我的跑步伙伴
This week, when she found out I was doing a 10K,
这周她得知我要跑一万米时
she insisted on coming.
就坚持要来
Snore.
无聊死了
I'm using my mom as a subject for my stupid psych paper
我把我妈当做我的白痴心理学论文的对象
because I started too late to sign out a monkey.
因为我开始太晚 没法领猴子研究
It's about positive versus negative reinforcement.
论文是关于积极与消极强化的
First half of the race -- "You can do it, Mom!"
比赛前半程我会喊 "你能做到的 妈"
Second half -- "It's not your day, lady!"
后半程则是 "算了吧 女人"
Thankfully, after it's done,
幸好 做完实验后
I'll still be able to give out the banana I bought.
给猴子买的香蕉可以给她补充能量
Thank you so much for taking care of Joe.
多谢你照顾乔
I still have to get some things from the store for dinner.
我还得去店里买点晚餐食材
It's no problem.
没问题
I got a lot of knowledge to pass on.
我有很多知识可以传授
You been practicing your burping drills?
你有在持续练习打嗝吗
Yes!
是的
- Better. - Okay, enough chitchat.
-好些了 -好 闲聊完了
Give me the V.I.P. Pass for the sale.
给我促销的VIP票
Everybody's heard of the H. Bronfman Clothiers
大家都听说过H.布朗夫曼服装的
Black Friday sale where the hoi polloi
黑五促销 那时候大伙儿
fight over tuxedos like animals.
像动物一样疯狂争抢晚礼服
But on Thanksgiving Day,
但是在感恩节
a select few are invited to get first crack.
极少数人会受邀当第一批进场的买家
If I get everything I want,
如果我能把要的都买齐
that tux will be 80% off in Tammy Bosworth's dorm room.
我的燕尾服就会在小姑娘房里脱到只剩两成
Black gold.
黑金卡
I got it as a tip from some club members
这是俱乐部成员当做小费给我的
who had me "deal" with some geese.
他让我弄来几瓶灰雁伏特加
You will not taint this experience.
你休想玷污这次体验
Claire, why do you have that number?
克莱尔 你为什么贴着号码布
Are you in a pageant?
你参加选美比赛了吗
She's running a 10K. And she is going to do great.
她要跑一万米 她的表现一定会很棒
I know that you're gonna make us oh-so proud!
我就知道你会让我们感到骄傲
Obviously, this was meant to be a group hug,
显然这本该是群抱
and my invitation got lost in the mail. Mm.
而我的邀请函在邮寄时遗失了
Phil... that crazy phone booth
菲尔 你为了变魔术
that you ordered for your magic trick --
订的那个疯狂电话亭
It's already at my house.
已经在我家了
It's here two days early?!
提前两天到了吗
I can shoot my how-to video today!
我今天就能拍摄教程
Haley! Showtime!
海莉 好戏上演了
It goes without saying that the greatest trick
毫无疑问 二战中
to come out of World War II is the Normandy Phone Booth.
最伟大的魔术就是诺曼底电话亭
Over the years, its reputation has ebbed and flowed.
多年来 它的名声时起时落
It was famously booed
众所周知 在1969年的
at the 1969 Narragansett Magic Festival.
纳拉干塞特魔术节上它遭到了大家的喝倒彩
Of course, this is a time
当然 那时候
when most people are into protest magic.
大部分人都在抗议魔术
So naturally, they would thumb their nose at a classic trick
所以很自然 他们会对经典魔术嗤之以鼻
where a heroic soldier dashes into a phone booth
那就是一个英勇的士兵冲进电话亭
to make a world-saving call
打了拯救世界的电话
while it slowly fills with water!
而电话亭慢慢灌满了水
Come on, hippies!
这多赞啊 嬉皮士们
God!
天啊
All right, buddy. Run outside and play real quick.
小家伙 你出去玩吧
I'm gonna take care of something upstairs.
我要去楼上忙些事
I had to update my profile pic
我得更新我在
on this new social-media app called Inseam.
一款新社交媒体软件"内缝线"上的用户照片
It's super cool. No one knows about it.
这软件超酷的 基本还没人知道
Some old guys were using it for home tailoring,
有些老家伙用它分享自制成衣
but then two Brooklyn deejays
但之后两个布鲁克林DJ
started sharing a couple of videos on it, and it blew up.
开始在上面分享一些视频 然后就火了
Not approachable.
太严肃了
Too approachable.
太亲和了
There's my guy.
完美
What's up?
怎么了
Dude, I was just about to leave,
伙计 我刚准备离开
and I saw your new pic popped up on Inseam.
结果在内缝线上看见了你的新照片
You're on Inseam?
你也用内缝线吗
Yes, I've been on it for a week.
是的 我已经用了一周了
Okay, look at your picture. Joe is in a tree behind you.
你看看照片 乔在你身后的树上
Oh, my God, he's right there!
天啊 他就在那里
Hang on, Joe!
等等 乔
Hello?
What's going on with Joe?
乔怎么了
You're on Inseam?
你也用内缝线吗
Of course I'm on Inseam.
当然了
Is my son hanging from a tree?
我儿子挂在树上了吗
Oh, that's great! You fell for it.
真棒 你信了
I'm, uh -- I'm getting pretty good at Photoshop.
我的改图技术越来越出神入化啊
That's a fake picture?
那是假照片吗
Yeah, I got a bunch of Joe doing dangerous stuff.
是啊 我有许多张乔做危险事情的照片
You're gonna have to show me this later, okay?
那你晚点得让我看看 好吗
Will do.
没问题
Well, thanks to you,
都怪你
now I'm all sweaty, and it's gonna be impossible
我现在满身大汗 都没办法
to judge the silk shirts.
鉴定丝绸衬衫了
They're supposed to blouse, not cling.
应该宽松飘逸 而不是黏身上
Hey, can I see that card for a second?
能让我看看这张卡吗
- What are you doing? - I'll put this card back in your hand
-你干什么 -等你把乔的头P到鳄鱼嘴里
when you Photoshop that kid's head in an alligator's mouth.
我才会把这张卡交还给你
Upper Valley on the 2-yard line
上游河谷在二码线上
with 10 seconds to go.
比赛时间还剩十秒
A touchdown will win the game.
一个触地得分将会获胜
Okay, timeout! Timeout!
暂停 暂停
Let's go, Dolphins!
加油 海豚队
Coach, what is our defense?
教练 我们怎么防守
Okay, you know what? It's a running situation,
好吧 按理说应该用奔跑达阵
but they've been killing us with that pass all day.
但他们用传球虐我们一天了
My gut tells me they're gonna pass, but
我的直觉认为他们要传球 但是...
Okay, just let me think about it.
好吧 让我想想
Move. Move!
让开
Those dumb bastards
那些蠢货
are going to be thinking pass, which is why we're going to run.
肯定会认为我们要传球 所以我们要奔跑
Trap Two, on the left side.
左边用2包围防守
My vice principal walkie-talkie
我的副校长对讲机
accidentally picked up that Upper Valley coach
不小心收听到了上游河谷教练
calling her dumb lady play.
说出她的白痴娘们战术
Now, was I gonna change my defense?
我要改变我的防守策略吗
Only some spineless win-at-all-costs glory hound
只有没有骨气 全力争胜 追名逐利的人
would choose winning over showing some moral fiber.
才会选择赢 而不是展示高风亮节
Dolphins win! Dolphins win!
海豚队赢了 海豚队赢了
感恩节晚餐
Everybody in that stadium, including me...
体育场里的所有人 包括我
- Well... - was expecting a pass.
-是啊 -都以为对方会传球
But your instincts told you something else.
但你的直觉告诉你不会那样
That's big-time, my friend.
真了不起 我的朋友
Well, I-I-I appreciate it, Jay. Uh, thank you.
谢谢你这么说 杰 谢谢你
Mitchell!
米奇尔
I'm a fraud.
我是个骗子
Well, then stop telling that barista
那就别再和那个咖啡师吹牛
that you understudied Javert on Broadway.
说你在百老汇做过沙威[悲惨世界]的替角
He knows your name. He can look it up.
他知道你叫什么 上网一查就发现了
No, I overheard the lady coach
不 我不小心在对讲机上
call her play on my walkie-talkie,
听到那个女教练的战术安排
and I changed my defense to win the game.
然后我改了我的防守策略赢了比赛
And now I'm having anxiety, and I have to confess.
现在我焦虑发作 我必须坦白
No, you-you are not gonna confess.
不行 你不能坦白
You're gonna smush that anxiety into a little ball,
你给我把焦虑揉成一个小球
and you're gonna push it into that little, tiny hole
再塞到你灵魂里那个专门用来
in your soul where childhood traumas go.
密封童年阴影的小洞里去
Everybody here is a winner.
这里的所有人都是赢家
I-If you end up being the one loser at the table,
如果最后你成了饭桌上唯一的失败者
I'm gonna get nothing but condescending pity from everybody.
我仅有的收获会是所有人居高临下的同情
Especially Claire, that insufferable phony.
特别是克莱尔那副难以忍受的虚伪嘴脸
Hey, so pretty!
太漂亮了
- Luke. - Hey, Gloria.
-卢克 -歌洛莉亚
Sure love those bangs.
你的刘海真好看
What's the story with those?
为什么剪了刘海
I know you have been avoiding me
我知道你一直在躲着我
because there are no Photoshopped pictures of Joe in danger.
因为根本没有乔身处险境的合成照片
And the the answer to your question is very simple --
而你这个问题的答案很简单
They frame my face.
刘海衬我的脸
Oh, those pictures.
那些照片啊
Here we are.
就在这
Joe poking a bees' nest.
乔捅蜂窝
肯尼迪遇刺案主凶
Oh, and Joe killing Lee Harvey Oswald.
乔射杀李·哈维·奥斯瓦尔德
So cute.
真可爱
Jay, Luke is a genius.
杰 卢克是个天才
Thanks, buddy.
谢了 伙计
You can go do your fancy shopping now.
你可以去买高级衣服了
Awesome. To make up for the time I lost,
太棒了 为了弥补我失去的时间
I'm gonna baby oil my heels
我要给脚后跟涂上油
so I can try on shoes faster.
试鞋时穿脱就快多了
Phil, did you see this Photoshop stuff that Luke did?
菲尔 你看过卢克合成的这些照片了吗
He's a real magician.
他真是个魔术师
I guess he came by it honestly.
我想这是有其父必有其子
That means the world to me, Jay.
这话对我来说意义非凡 杰
I'm living a lie.
我的人生是场谎言
Claire, everyone in this family's a winner
克莱尔 这家里的每个人都是赢家
except for me.
除了我
Abraka-failure.
我变我变我变废柴
Ready to fill this thing up?
准备好灌水了吗
当天早些时候
The-The whole reason we're here
我们之所以在这里拍
is to use the pool water, which is recyclable.
就是为了用泳池水 能重复利用
I'm sort of a hero in the sustainable magic movement.
我算是可持续魔术运动的大人物
I'd hate to lose my three green rabbits rating.
我可不想失去三只环保绿兔的评级
Okay.
好吧
Should we start filming?
我们这就开拍吗
For sure. Yeah. For sure.
当然 好 当然
I-I-I think I'll-I'll probably just take a quick minute.
我认为我或许该先休息一下
As a young man, I had no fear of any trick
年轻时我表演什么魔术都不害怕
where I was jammed into tight spaces --
任何被困在狭小空间的魔术都行
Fox in a Box, The Wrong Shepherd,
盒中狐 另一个牧羊人
Einstein's Birdbath.
爱因斯坦的鸟浴盆
Lately, though, I have had a touch of claustrophobia,
不过最近 我多少有一点幽闭恐惧
which is usually cleared up
通常我只要
by a quick call to my super-supportive wife.
给非常支持我的妻子打通电话就好了
Oh, you finally picked up.
你终于接电话了
No, no, it's not an emergency.
不 没有紧急状况
I just -- Hello? Claire?
我只是...你在听吗 克莱尔
Just give me the word, Dad.
等着你的指令呢 老爸
Yep.
Let's...
我们
- Let's do this. - Great. Ready?
-我们开始吧 -好 准备好了吗
- Yeah. - And...action.
-好了 -开拍
Hello, and congratulations on your purchase
您好 恭喜您购买了这个
of the Normandy Phone Booth.
诺曼底电话亭
The following will demonstrate
接下来我将演示
just how much fun you've...dialed up.
您为生活"拨动"了多少乐趣
Here we are on D-Day.
今天就是登陆日
Where's the damned air support?
该死的空中支援在哪
Oh, good.
太好了
A p-phone booth.
有个电话亭
I hear the Nazis have booby-trapped these,
我听说纳粹们在电话亭里设置了陷阱
but I will...
但我...
I definitely will take the risk of calling Allied Command.
我绝对会以身犯险 给盟军司令部打电话
Hello, General.
您好 上将
Yes, the enemy is all around us.
是的 我们被敌人包围了
Blast!
火力很猛
This is one of the phone booths that's booby-trapped.
这个电话亭里设置了陷阱
Oh, no!
Yes, General, the enemy is closing in!
是的 上将 敌人正在逼近
There's no esca-
我们无路可逃...
Haley! Get me out of here!
海莉 快放我出去
Who's Haley? I'm Nurse Rutherford.
海莉是谁 我是卢瑟福护士
If I can't do this trick,
如果我不能表演这个魔术
my magic shop is gonna be the laughingstock of the mini-mall.
我的魔术用品店会沦为小型商场的笑柄
And there's still a Blockbuster there.
而那里还有一家过时多年的租片店呢
Honey, I know you're going through something,
亲爱的 我知道你最近过得不顺
but you need to keep it to yourself,
但你不能告诉别人
because we will not be the loser family this year.
因为我们决不能成为今年家里的失败者
- Claire. - Yeah?
-克莱尔 -怎么
I had a genius idea.
我想到了一个天才点子
Your race went right by Pritchett's Closets.
你的比赛路线正好经过普利切特衣橱
Pull the security tape.
把保全摄像调出来
We'll blow up a frame of you in the lead and run a big ad --
我们用你领先的画面冲副大广告
"Pritchett's. Leading the Pack for 30 Years."
"普利切特 三十年来一直领先于他人"
- Genius! - I love it, Dad! Yes!
-天才 -太赞了 老爸 真棒
I am on that!
我这就去
We have a problem.
我们有麻烦了
I had a problem.
是我有麻烦了
当天早些时候
H-H-Hello?
你好
Hello -- Damn it.
你好 该死
Phil, this better be an emergency.
菲尔 你最好是有紧急状况
Oh, you finally picked up.
你终于接电话了
No, no, it's not an emergency. I just --
不 没有紧急状况 我只是...
I'm running a race, and you just screwed up my playlist!
我在赛跑 歌单都因为你乱套了
From that point on,
从那一刻起
I was no longer on the actual race course.
我就不在赛跑路线上了
Thank you!
谢谢你
Thanks.
谢谢
I guess I hit a point where I funneled back onto the course.
后来可能在某个转角我又兜回到比赛路线上
I did notice that I seemed to have more energy
我的确注意到我的体能
than the few people in front of me,
似乎比我前面的几个人充沛许多
but I didn't-I didn't think much of it.
但我当时没多想
火鸡跑 终点线
I did it! I won! I won!
我做到了 我赢了我赢了
Did you see that, honey? I won!
你看到了吗 宝贝 我赢了
Uh, no, you didn't.
不 你没赢
I was standing at the 5K mark and never saw you.
我一直站在五千米标志那 根本没看到你
- What? - Claire!
-什么 -克莱尔
I was at the store, and I saw you win!
我刚才在商店里 我看到你赢了
Oh, honey!
亲爱的
I know her!
我认识她
She's my stepdaughter!
她是我继女
There's not gonna be any footage
普利切特衣橱的保全摄像里
of you running past Pritchett's Closets
根本不会有你跑过去的画面
because you cut two miles out of a six-mile race.
因为9.6公里的赛程你少跑了3公里
Better tell Grandpa you didn't win.
你最好告诉外公你没赢
Oh, you are my moral compass.
你真是我的道德指南针
Which is why I don't want to talk to you for the rest of the day.
所以我今天一天都不想再和你说话了
Luke!
卢克
I need a favor, no questions asked.
帮我个忙 不许多问
What do you need? Phone cards?
你需要什么 匿名电话卡吗
No. I need you to Photoshop a picture of me from today
不 我需要你合成一张
running in front of Pritchett's Closets.
我今天跑过普利切特衣橱的照片
No problem.
没问题
- No problem. - I --
-没问题 -我...
I want to grab a picture of you and Claire.
我想拍张你和克莱尔的照片
I want to post it on my Inseam account.
我想上传到内缝线账号上
Oh, what's Inseam?
内缝线是什么
I use it for home tailoring.
我用来找自制成衣图样的软件
- Claire. - Yeah?
-克莱尔 -怎么
Could you get in here, please?
你能过来一下吗
- My two superstars. - Okay!
-我的两个超级明星 -好啊
Can't believe you won with that bad knee.
真不敢相信你膝盖不好还赢了比赛
Well, at least if somebody tries to steal that thing,
还好 如果有人想偷奖牌的话
they got to get through this guy.
他们得和这兄弟过过招
I just did what any hero would do.
我不过是做了任何英雄会做的事
- It's... - Are you wearing makeup?
-没什么 -你化妆了吗
Uh, well, yeah. I got a bruise.
是的 为了遮脸上的淤伤
I thought-I thought you screamed and he ran away?
你不是说你一喊就把他吓跑了吗
Uh, well, there was a-there was a scuffle.
我们还是发生了肢体冲突的
You went with your instinct.
你听从了本能
Fight or flight. You fought.
反抗还是逃跑 你反抗了
I'm gonna post this on Inseam.
我要把这张照片发到内缝线上
Double-click.
双击
Damn it.
该死的
You fought.
你反抗了
You fought?
你反抗了
How close did you get to this "intruder"?
你跟这个"闯空门的"多近距离接触了
Okay, Claire. That is just about enough.
克莱尔 你差不多够了
Mitchell suffered a trauma,
米奇尔遭受了创伤
and I don't appreciate your mocking tone.
我不喜欢你这种嘲讽的语气
Excuse us. Okay?
容我们失陪 好吗
Thank you, sweetie.
谢谢你 亲爱的
Okay, look, we both know two things for certain --
我们都能确定两件事
I look fabulous in coral,
我穿珊瑚色特好看
and you didn't fight off any intruder.
你根本没打跑过任何闯空门的人
There-There is a backstory.
这是有背景故事的
In the summer of 1984,
1984年夏天
inspired by "The Karate Kid,"
在《小子难缠》的影响下
I went through a martial arts phase.
我那阵子特别沉迷于武术
When Cam brought those nunchucks home,
当小卡把那副双节棍拿回家时
it was just too much to resist.
我实在是无法抗拒
Hello, old friend.
你好啊 老朋友
30 years later, once again,
三十年后 又一次到了
it was time to sweep the leg.
使出扫堂腿 技惊四座的时候了
Oh, God. Oh, no!
天啊 不
- Why didn't you just tell me? - I don't know.
-你为什么不和我说实话 -我不知道
You-You walked in, and you asked if there was a break-in,
你进门就问我是不是有人闯进来了
and I-I was embarrassed and possibly concussed,
我当时很窘迫 还可能脑震荡了
so I just -- I went with it.
所以我就顺水推舟
Besides, my dad and Claire cannot know, okay?
再说不能让我爸和克莱尔知道 明白吗
That whole "Karate Kid" summer, they called me "Kung Sue."
《小子难缠》上映的那年夏天 他们都叫我"功妇"
Turkey is gonna be ready in 10 minutes!
火鸡10分钟后就好了
- Where is Phil? - I'll let him know.
-菲尔在哪 -我会告诉他
Okay.
- 10 minutes. - I can't take it!
-再10分钟 -我做不来
Just breathe, Dad.
你就深呼吸 老爸
We are breaking this fear of yours.
我们要克服你的恐惧
I'm dying here!
我要死了
Look at me.
看着我
Do you want to spend the rest of your life
你想要你的余生
as an open-space magician?
都只是一名开放空间魔术师吗
Yeah.
这就对了
Jay, I saw on Inseam that there was a Thanksgiving pageant
杰 我在内缝线上看到乔的学校举办了
at Joe's school.
感恩节大会
Why didn't you tell me?
你为什么没告诉我
I totally forgot.
我忘了嘛
Joe hasn't been in school for a week.
乔一周没上学了
I had a falling-out with his teacher.
我跟他的老师起了点争执
And got sent to the principal's office.
然后被叫去校长办公室
You said some pretty harsh things to Mrs. Barrish.
你对巴里什老师说了挺难听的话
In my defense, um, this banquet she's planning
那是因为她在计划的餐会
is not historically accurate.
不符合史实
For example, I don't remember a tandoori chicken option
比如说 我不记得在首次感恩节餐会上
at the first Thanksgiving.
有印度咖喱鸡啊
We have children here from many ethnicities,
我们学校有不同文化种族的孩子
and we try to make them all feel included.
我们想让大家都有参与感
Be that as it may, history does not record Pocahontas
尽管如此 史书上也没写过餐会时 印第安人
asking John Smith to pass the sashimi roll
请英国探险家帮忙递生鱼片寿司卷
while Myles Standish helps himself
而英国知名军官也在一旁
to gluten-free huevos rancheros!
给自己来点无麸质墨西哥煎蛋
After that, it got heated, and we got expelled.
之后火气越来越大 我们被逐出学校
"We"?
"我们"吗
But they'll call.
他们会打来的
They need my check.
始终需要我的银子
Why didn't the school tell me anything?
为什么学校什么都没告诉我
It's like I am off their e-mail list.
好像我不在电邮通知名单上了
I didn't even see the costumes.
我都没看到过他的变装服
Well, he didn't have a costume.
他不用变装啊
No, he was the narrator. Kid told the whole story.
他是解说员 他负责说出整个故事
Ay, papi.
小乖乖
You must have been so cute.
你当时一定超可爱
Why don't you perform it for everybody at dinner?
晚餐的时候给大家表演一次吧
I'll go get my phone, and we'll film it.
我去拿我的手机 我们得录下来
- Okay? - Yes.
-好吗 -没问题
I gotta get you up to speed in a hurry, buddy.
小家伙 我得最快时间帮你补课
The story of Thanksgiving. Here goes.
感恩节的故事 开始
It's no use!
没用
I can't do it!
我做不到
Sonuvabitch, she did it!
我了个去 她成功了
See that, people?
你们看到了吗
Another person doing their best, thanks to me.
又一个超越自己巅峰的人 都感谢我
It's time to eat.
现在可以开吃了
Hey, Google,
谷歌
how much time left on the turkey?
火鸡还要多久
Two minutes.
两分钟
See? I can control that crazy doughnut,
看到没 我能控制那个神经病甜甜圈
I can do the steps.
也成功达到十万步
I have two achievements,
我做到了两件事
and the rest have only one.
而其他人只做到了一件
So, Grandpa really motivated you
所以外公真的靠
by telling you you couldn't do something, huh?
说你做不到什么而激励了你是吧
I need to see that My StepCounter for a paper I'm writing.
我要看看这个计步器 我写报告要用
Everybody achieved something today,
大家都成功做到了一些事
so now it's Joe's turn.
现在轮到乔了
Joe...
tell us about the first Thanksgiving.
跟我们说说第一个感恩节的故事
Come up here, buddy.
来吧 小家伙
You got this.
你能行
There was once a land of godless natives.
曾有一片大地住着不信神的原住民
They did not know any better
他们愚蠢无知
until, one day, the white man arrived.
直到某天 白人们来了
What is this?
这是什么鬼
The white man took pity on these primitives
白人们可怜这些原始人
by teaching them to cultivate the land.
教导他们如何耕种土地
But their kindness was mistaken for aggression,
但他们的善良被误会为侵略
and a war began.
所以战争开打了
What kind of school is this?
这是哪门子的鬼学校
- This is what I was taught. - What?
-我小时候学到的也是这样 -什么
Eventually, peace was restored,
最后 一切回归和平
and we bestowed them with our nation's highest honor --
我们还送给了他们我国最高荣誉
naming football teams for them.
让他们冠名橄榄球队
Joe, what play is this?
乔 这是什么短剧
I wasn't in a play! I don't go to school anymore!
我没有演出短剧 我都没上学了
All right, fine.
好啦 对啦
We got kicked out, okay?
我们被踢出来了可以吗
Little argument with the principal.
跟校长小小吵了一架
You've been lying to me
你怎么可以骗我
while I was celebrating you as an amazing father?
亏我还一直夸你是个超棒的父亲
Hey, Gloria, this is weird.
歌洛莉亚 奇怪了
You know, I downloaded your My StepCounter data
我下载了你的计步器数据
onto my computer,
到我电脑里
and it's showing your path this morning
数据显示你今早走的路线
was the same route my mom took in her race.
跟我妈妈去赛跑的路线是一样的
I was never going to get 100,000 steps.
我怎么可能跑得到十万步
But then I learned that Claire was going on a Turkey Trot.
一直到后来我知道克莱尔要去火鸡赛跑
The second time I hugged her,
第二次我抱她时
it was a little harder because she was really wet.
比第一次不容易 因为她浑身是汗
So I'm basically just your StepCounter mule?
所以我基本上就是你的计步代跑骡吗
I thought you cared about my race.
我还以为你在乎我这场跑步呢
I love you very much, Claire,
我很爱你 克莱尔
but your exercise doesn't really interest me.
但我对你的运动真的没兴趣
Hang on. When did Claire run past Pritchett's Closets?
等等 克莱尔什么时候经过公司的来着
'Cause this thing says she never got near it.
因为上面显示她压根就没靠近过那里
Well, it's probably the StepCounter made a mistake.
爸 估计是计步器出错了
Oh, yeah, did it? Or -- Or --
是吗 还是...
Or did you take a little shortcut?
还是你绕捷径了
No, I was probably going so fast
才没有 应该是我跑太快
it couldn't even keep up with me.
它都跟不上我的脚步
- I have a picture of it. - Let me see.
-我有照片为证 -让我看...
Luke?
卢克
And there you go.
你们看
That is me clearly running in front of Pritchett's Closets.
很清楚能看到我跑过普里契特衣柜公司
Oh, yeah, yeah. With a Reagan/Bush poster
对啊 窗上还有
in the window, huh?
84年总统大选的海报呢
The photo is a fake.
照片是假的
It's not my fault. Manny made it.
不能怪我 是曼尼改的图
Manny was photoshopping everything?
曼尼改了所有的图吗
So Joe was in real danger?
所以乔真的发生危险了吗
I did not realize how easy it would be
我没想到你这么轻易
for you to connect those dots.
就能把线索都连上
Pretty disappointed in you, Luke.
对你挺失望的 卢克
Well, you know, it's easy to see where he learned it from.
他从哪学坏的 我想大家都懂
His mother's a cheater!
他老妈就是个骗子
What?! Oh, don't get so hot and bothered. Uh-huh! Mm.
什么 你少跟我搞这套义愤填膺的了
- Your makeup's already running, and what do... - Stop it.
-你的妆都要花了 你这... -别碰我
Do you have a Chinese character on your bruise?
你的淤青上有个中文字吗
Yeah, it's probably an imprint from the intruder's ring.
估计是闯入的人打我时 他戒指的字印的
He was -- I'm sure he was in a gang of some sort.
他... 我确定他肯定是混什么帮派之类的
Just give it up, Mitchell.
老实交代吧 米奇尔
He knocked himself out with some nunchucks
他玩我以代理副校长职权
that I confiscated as acting vice principal.
没收的双节棍时不小心打到了自己
Oh, my God! Kung Sue is back.
天啊 功妇又回来了
Daddy, did you hear that?
老爸 你听到了吗
Well, Cam -- Cam didn't really win the football game.
小卡 小卡不是靠实力赢的球赛
Uh-huh. He stole the last play from the lady coach!
他从对方女教练那里偷听人家战术
Accidentally! I overheard it on a walkie-talkie
是意外 我不小心在我做为代理副校长
that I require as an acting vice principal,
必需要有的对讲机里听到的
which is a position I'm pretty proud of
我对这职位感到十分骄傲
because I'm basically a sheriff.
因为我基本就是个警长
- You're not basically -- No. Yes, I am basically a sheriff!
-你才不... -就是 我基本就是警长
I wear a hat!
我戴着帽子
Dad is doing his trick, and he's never done it before.
爸要表演那个魔术了 他从来没做过呢
He could die.
有可能会死
Come on!
快来
Oh, Phil. Honey, wait!
菲尔 亲爱的 别啊
- You don't have to do this. - Yes, I do!
-你不用做这个的 -我必须要做
I'm the only loser in a remarkable family of winners.
我是一大家人生赢家里的唯一废柴
No, no, no!
不不 不是的
We are not all winners!
我们才不是什么赢家
It turned out we all stink!
其实我们全都是废柴
It doesn't matter!
无所谓了
I don't want to live a life ruled by fear!
不想要被恐惧支配我的人生
I have to do this trick today.
我今天就得表演这个魔术
Although, it is getting hard to breathe!
不过有点越来越难呼吸了
Don't stop, Dad! You can do this!
别停 老爸 你可以的
I believe in you!
我对你有信心
- That's not helping, honey! - Very interesting.
-这话说了没用啊 宝贝 -有意思
Okay, I'm just gonna try to barrel through this.
我一鼓作气做完吧
It's Normandy. I'm an American G.I. Named Tony Ranzetti.
这里是诺曼底 我是美国大兵托尼·兰切提
I'm from Brooklyn, and I love my mama's home cooking!
我来自布鲁克林 我最爱我妈做的家常菜
But I don't think I'm gonna be able to get out!
但我觉得我逃不出来了
Is he talking as Tony Ranzetti or as Phil?
是托尼的台词 还是菲尔真逃不出
What is wrong with you cowards?!
你们这些孬种有病啊
Phil needs help!
菲尔需要帮忙
Kung Sue's back at it.
功妇再次出击
It's too late to get out! Oh.
来不及逃啦
-No! -This was a mistake!!
-不要啊 -这就是个错误
Something's wrong. Dad?
好像真的不对 老爸
Oh, God. Phil! Phil!
天啊 菲尔 菲尔
- Oh, my God! -What -- What...
-天啊 -什 什么...
Holy crap, where'd he go?!
哇靠 他上哪去了
Private Ranzetti reporting Operation Overlord is a success.
兰切提二等兵报告 天神作战成功
Cocktails are on me.
鸡尾酒我请
That was amazing! Gotta hand it to you, Phil.
太厉害了 谁都不服就服你 菲尔
You get the big turkey leg.
火鸡的大鸡腿给你吃
Let's take this party to the table!
派对重新回到桌上
Come on, hippies.
不赞吗 嬉皮士们
Cam. It's late.
小卡 很晚了
Cam, I have work early in the morning.
小卡 我明天得早起干活
Cameron! I cannot sleep!
卡梅隆 你这样我没法睡
Well, you should have thought about that
那你下次应该先考虑清楚
before you challenged me that I couldn't do
再挑衅我 发出我无法在一天内
100,000 steps in a day.
跑完十万步的挑战啊
Well, how close are you?
你还差多少
125.
125步
Okay, fine.
好吧 行
Wait. 125 left?
等等 是剩125步吧
Nope.
不是
Oh, my God.
天啊