摩登家庭 第九季 Modern Family Season 9 第8集: Brushes with Celebrity

上映日期: 2,017

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 詹姆斯·R·巴格多纳斯

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·


台词
What was my best brush with celebrity?
我最棒的一次偶遇明星经验
Oh, this is such a good one.
这真是个好问题
One time I saw Jack Nicholson at the car wash.
有次我在洗车店看到了杰克·尼科尔森
I can't go through this again.
我不想再听一次了
Jack Nicholson does not drive a Hyundai Odyssey
杰克·尼科尔森不会开一辆贴着
好莱坞知名杰出男演员也是出了名的坏脾气
原创翻译 双语字幕
最新连载海外影视剧下载请登陆 www.YYeTs.com仅供交流学习 禁止商用盈利
with a Co-Exist bumper sticker, Cam.
"宗教共存"的现代奥德赛 小卡
Being in the closet business,
在橱柜行业干了那么多年
翻译: 冰蓝 洗七里 亲爱的小饭
I met a lot of famous people.
我遇到过许多明星
I can't name names,
我不能提名字
but let's just say it's someone who's the boss.
就这么说吧 那人是老大
翻译: 斑驳 小笼包 偶遇明星赛渝民
歌手 绰号老大"The Boss"
You met Bruce Springsteen?
你遇到布鲁斯·斯普林斯汀吗
- No, Tony Danza. - Oh, from the TV show?
-不 是托尼·丹扎 -电视剧里的吗
托尼·丹扎曾主演1984年美剧Who's the boss《成长没烦恼/谁才是老大》
校对: 新浪微博@赛太公
Nah, she was the boss.
那部剧女主才是老大
It's open to interpretation.
个人见解不同啦
I saw Santa Claus at the mall.
我在商场看见了圣诞老人
时间轴: 三水
"The Unwitting Miss Castle."
《不知情的卡斯尔小姐》
后期: 瓜瓜 总监: 怀念浓子的瓜瓜
What's that about?
讲的是什么
It's about three persecuted women
讲的是不同时代中
in different time periods,
三个被迫害的女人
or one time traveler with incredibly bad luck.
或者是一个特别倒霉的时间旅行者
打开微信 扫描左侧二维码或搜索公众号: 美剧炸了了解最新影视资讯字幕信息
I don't know which.
我不知道是哪个
Somehow, I was able to join
我莫名其妙加入了
a very exclusive book club
一个非常排外的读书俱乐部
filled with the most intelligent women.
里面都是超高智商的女人
I can never seem to impress them.
我总是无法令她们感到惊艳
They use words like "sanguine."
她们会用"枯苗望雨"这种高级词
I don't want to look like an idiot, so I use it, too.
我不想看起来像是个傻瓜 所以我也用
Isn't that the most sanguine thing you ever heard?
这是不是你听到过的最"枯苗望雨"的东西
You're not using it right.
你用错了
I've read the same chapter eight times --
同一章我都读了八次了
still don't get it.
还是不懂
Just say, "It holds a mirror up to society."
就说"这反映了社会现状"
You'll get your "C" and get out of there.
你会得个C 顺利脱身
- Good morning. - Hi.
-早上好 -嗨
Who's that young thing?
这年轻人是谁
Wow, what's up with the outfit, Mod Squad?
怎么打扮得像电视剧的人一样犀利了
Oh, yeah, I'm, uh...
是啊 我要...
I'm showing a house to someone.
我要带人看房
I'd rather not say who it is.
我不想说是谁
I totally get that.
我完全理解
It's Chris Martin from Coldplay.
是酷玩乐队的主唱克里斯·马汀
- Come on, really? - It's not a big deal.
-拜托 真的吗 -不是什么大事啦
Says the man who spent most of last night
说这话的人昨晚花了大半晚上时间
sewing that flower onto his jeans.
往牛仔裤上缝花
Okay, it's a really big deal.
好吧 这真的是件大事
I'm meeting the man who sings how I feel.
我要跟一个唱出我感受的歌手见面了
Yes, his music is so sanguine.
是啊 他的音乐非常"枯苗望雨"
Eh, closer.
比上次强
Never been a big Coldplay guy.
我从来都不是很喜欢酷玩乐队
I'm more into hip-hop, death metal,
我更喜欢嘻哈 死亡金属
"Little Mermaid."
《小美人鱼》
That one really imprinted on me back in the day.
那电影对我小时候影响好大啊
My stomach feels weird.
我肚子很难受
You're probably just nervous.
你也许只是紧张
Ooh, maybe you need someone to come with you.
也许你需要有人陪你去
No, he's there to buy a house, not talk about music,
不要 他是去买房的 不是谈论音乐
which is why I'm not even gonna mention
所以我压根都不会提
that I'm a songwriter, too.
我也是歌曲作家
Oh, you wrote one song.
你就写了一首歌
I said everything I had to say.
歌里有我想说的一切了
About a realtor.
房地产经纪人的故事
It was about life!
是关于人生
This is why they mock you at book club.
难怪读书俱乐部的人嘲笑你
家 庭
摩 登
第九季 第八集
Oh, here's a brush with celebrity
我可以聊聊某一次
I can actually talk about.
和明星的偶遇
Last summer, I was called upon
去年夏天 我被要求
to participate in the most American of traditions --
参与最美式的传统
getting out of jury duty.
摆脱陪审团的职责
Do you have any experience with law enforcement?
您有任何跟执法机构接触的经验吗
Big time.
多了去了
I-I don't trust, uh, cops.
我不信任警察
Also, I despise robbery victims.
而且我鄙视被抢劫的人
They're the real criminals
他们才是真正的罪犯
for clogging up our court system.
占用了我们的审判系统
Nice try, Juror 3.
得了吧 3号陪审员
What about economic hardship?
那么经济困难呢
The last time I missed work,
上次我没去工作时
the California closet market collapsed.
加州橱柜市场都崩溃了
Some people think that caused the L.A. Riot.
有人认为那导致了洛杉矶暴动
I must be done talking.
看来我该收声了
I'm going into labor.
我要生了
Ma'am, Ma'am, everything's gonna be all right.
女士 一切都会没事的
Bailiff, help Juror 11 with anything she needs,
法警 帮助一下11号陪审员
and bring in the next alternate.
叫下一位替换陪审员
Uh, as her Lamaze coach,
作为她无痛分娩法的教练
I think I should probably be out in the hall wi--
我想我该去走廊...
Terry Bradshaw.
特里·布拉德肖
知名橄榄球球星
I love Terry Bradshaw!
我爱特里·布拉德肖
Juror 11, is there anything that might prevent you
11号陪审员 有什么原因会阻止你
from serving effectively on this jury?
有效地履行陪审团义务吗
No scheduling conflicts, Your Honor.
日程没有冲突 法官大人
However, I am going through
然而我现在
kind of a rough patch right now.
正经历一段困难的时期
You see, I lost my best friend.
我失去了我死党
Or did he just find one?
还是他刚找到了一位新死党
But I'm happy to serve.
但我很高兴履行义务
I believe in the American legal system,
我相信美国司法制度
and I believe it's all about teamwork.
靠的就是团队合作
That's a touchdown of an answer, champ.
真是个"触地得分"的好答案啊 冠军
Uh, this lady here...
这位女士
put me down for that.
我决定也当陪审员
Are you ready for some justice?
你准备好接受正义制裁了吗
Oh, my God.
天啊
What? A celebrity?
怎么了 有明星吗
- It's Sam Anvilmaker. - ?Who?
-是山姆·安威尔马克 -谁
He wrote "The Forgetters and the Forgotten"?
他写了《遗忘者和被遗忘者》
"Farce, American Style"?
《美国式闹剧》
"Screw You For Reading This"?
《读这本书就滚蛋》
What the hell is happening?
"这到底什么情况"
Yes, that one, too!
对 这也是他写的
He's my favorite playwright.
他是我最喜欢的编剧
Why don't you go over
你为什么不过去
and tell him that you're a fan?
告诉他你是他粉丝
Maybe he can give you some advice.
也许他会给你一些建议
No, no, I wouldn't want to bother him.
不不 我不想打扰他
He's notoriously private.
他不喜欢被打扰是出了名的
He writes in a hollowed-out tree
他在蒙大纳某处的一棵
somewhere in Montana.
挖空的树干里头写作
Don't be nervous.
别紧张
It just doesn't feel right.
我就是感觉这样不太好
Manny, if somebody admired my work as much as this,
曼尼 如果有人像你这么喜欢我的作品
I would like to know.
我会很想知道的
- Go. - ?Okay.
-去吧 -好吧
Here we go.
那我过去了
- Uh, excuse me, Mr. Anvilmaker? - Let me guess --
-打扰一下 安威尔马克先生 -让我猜猜
I'm the reason you want to be a writer.
我是你想成为编剧的原因
Yeah, actually.
是的 没错
Your first play changed the way that I looked at --
您的第一部剧改变了我对...
Look, listen, kid.
听我说 孩子
I'm not here to collect panties
我不是来这里收集
with phone numbers on them.
写着电话号码的内裤的
I'm here to experience the cold absurdity
我是来这里体验活着的那种
that is being alive.
冷漠荒诞感
So go and find someone else to venerate.
找别人崇拜去吧
Oh, uh... Sorry for bothering you.
很抱歉打扰你了
Here's a writing tip --
给你一条写作小窍门
show me you're sorry for bothering me.
让我看到你真为打扰我而感到抱歉
Don't tell me.
而不是光动嘴皮子
Okay, let's take a picture
好了 来为这两个
of the two new best friends.
新交的死党拍张合影
Come together.
靠近点啊
I should never have left my tree.
我就不该离开我的树
And then, I saw Daniel Day-Lewis
我还在我们的干洗店看到了
at our dry cleaner.
影帝丹尼尔·戴·路易斯
Not him. No.
不是他 真不是
Uh, the time we actually saw a celebrity
我们真的看到名人是在
was last December
去年十二月
when we were shopping for gardening supplies.
我们去买园艺用品的时候
I'll never forget the feeling of having Lincoln
我永远不会忘记影帝演的林肯总统
look directly into my eyes and saying,
直勾勾地看着我的眼睛 然后说
"We couldn't get the barbecue sauce out."
"烧烤酱洗不掉"时候的感觉
We both don't need a pair.
我们不需要一人有一副
We can just share these.
我们可以共用啊
And what if I want my own?
如果我想要我自己的呢
We share everything.
我们什么东西都共用啊
We share a toothbrush.
我们共用一把牙刷
- We do? Oh... - Oh, my -- Oh, my gosh.
-有吗 -我的...我的天哪
Hm? ?There's the guy who hosts
那个主持我们非常喜欢的
that home makeover show we love so much.
家居大改造节目的家伙在那里
- What? Where? - It's Scott Hunter.
-什么 在哪儿 -斯科特·亨特
Scott Hunter is right over there.
斯科特·亨特在那里
Every week, Scott Hunter,
每一周 斯科特·亨特
the host of "I Beg Your Garden,"
《"花"您一点时间》的主持人
selects an unsuspecting couple at a home store.
会在家居店挑选不知情的两口子
Yeah, he taps them on the shoulder and says,
对 他会拍他们的肩膀 然后说
"I beg your garden."
"花您一点时间"
What?! Oh, my God! I can't believe it!
什么 我的天啊 真的假的
That's how it goes every time.
每次都这样
Every time.
每次都是
- Where are the cameras? - I know.
-摄像机在哪里 -我知道
I wish I would've worn something more colorful.
要是我今天穿得更艳丽一点就好了
Okay, you know what?
你知道吗
We have to get on the show.
我们一定要上节目
Can you imagine a backyard makeover,
你能想象我们后院被大改造吗
what he would do with ours?
他会怎么改造我们的后院呢
Yeah, one word, three syllables,
没错 是三个字的
starts with "Gah," ends with "zebo."
开头是"小" 结尾是"凉亭"
Gazebo.
小凉亭
- I love gazebos. ?- I do, too!
-我爱死小凉亭了 -我也是
Now that I'm thinking about it,
一开始想这个
I have to have one.
我就非得要一个了
- Oh, my gosh. - Wait, we work hard.
-天哪 -我们工作这么辛苦
We deserve to stand in the shade
当然有权在后院
- a few inches off the ground. - ?Yeah.
-离草皮几英寸的地方乘凉 -就是
Okay, you know what?
这样吧
- Let's go get tapped. ?- Okay.
-我们这就过去让他拍我们肩膀 -好
Hm, what's over here?
那是什么东西
I don't know. Oh, my gosh, Mitchell, do you like this planter?
不知道 天啊 米奇尔 你喜欢这个花盆吗
It would go great
把这放在我们那个
in our hopelessly outdated and neglected backyard.
荒芜老气得掉渣的后院里一定不错
Well, I love it if you love it.
你喜欢我就喜欢
And what do you think of these pavers?
那你觉得这些铺路材料怎么样
Oh, I think they go great with that gazebo
我觉得那会跟我们
we've always dreamed of having.
梦寐以求的小凉亭很搭的
Oh, forget it. He's gone.
拉倒吧 他走了
W-What did we do wrong? We were pleasant.
我们做错什么了 我们很讨喜啊
You know what? Maybe we were too nice.
你猜怎么着 可能是我们太讨喜了
Couples on those shows always have conflict.
上这些节目的小两口总是各种闹矛盾
- So do we. ?- Yeah.
-我们也是啊 -对啊
When's the last time we agreed on anything.
我们有多久没有达成一致过了
We -- We're constantly bickering.
我们永远在斗嘴啊
I know, sometimes it reveals something deeper,
是啊 虽然斗嘴有时会反应出更深层的东西
but not always.
但并不总是如此
You know what?
Let's go show him our delightful brand
我们去向他展示一下我们
of bitchy friction.
毒舌得可爱的一面吧
I was thinking the exact same thing.
跟我想的完全一样
- Stop seeing eye-to-eye with me. ?- Sorry, sorry.
-别总是跟我心有灵犀啊 -抱歉抱歉
Let's go find him and drum up an argument.
我们去找他 然后好好大吵一架
Yeah, terrific idea.
这主意太赞了
I'm not doing it on purpose.
我不是故意跟你有默契的
I'm just...
我只是...
What is going on?
我这是怎么了
My gro --
我的...
This was a nightmare.
简直是噩梦
I was about to meet my hero,
我马上就要见到我的英雄
and I was experiencing this bizarre pain in --
可我那个地方却莫名疼得要死
in my...nether region.
就是 下面那个地方
Wait, I'm a grown man.
等等 我是个成年男性
I should be able to say it -- my left bean bag --
我应该不羞于直呼其名 我左边的蛋袋
did it again.
我又没说出口
My tersticle --
我的金玉蛋...
That's as close as I think I'm gonna get.
我想我没办法说得更直接了
Hello?
有人吗
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
欢迎欢迎欢迎
- Phil. ?- Hey, I'm Chris.
-菲尔 -我是克里斯
- Hey, what's wrong? - Oh, nothing.
-你怎么了 -没怎么
You thought I'd be better looking.
你以为我本人会更帅些
People think that because the rest of the band
人们总这么以为 因为乐队其他人
- look like hobbits. - No, no, no.
-都长得跟霍比特人似的 -不不不
It's -- It's a little --
只是 我只是有点...
I love your flower jeans.
我喜欢你的花牛仔裤
Where did you get those?
你在哪买的
They're from a store.
从商店买的
Well, they're very me. They're very me.
特别有我的风格 特别有我的风格
Do you remember the name of the store?
你还记得店名吗
Actually, I embroidered them myself.
其实是我自己绣的
Impressive.
真厉害
When you're ready for it,
等你准备好后
you get a T-shirt, you put it on top of a long-sleeve,
你找件T恤 穿在长袖上衣外面
then it lets everybody know you own multiple shirts.
这样大家就知道你有不止一件上衣了
Impressive.
真厉害
So, mate, shall we have a trod-about?
伙计 我们要不要这就开搞
I'm flattered.
感谢你的抬爱
I'd rather just keep it professional,
但我觉得我们还是公事公办
have a walk around.
开始看房子吧
Oh, that's not what...I...meant...
我不是那个意思
Terry was just sitting there by himself
特里形单影只坐在那里
because everybody's always afraid to talk to the prettiest girl,
因为人们总是不敢去和最漂亮的姑娘搭讪
except this guy.
除了这位
It's all about confidence.
自信是关键
Excuse me, Mr. --
打扰一下 布...
Excuse me, Mr. Bradshaw.
打扰一下 布拉德肖先生
Jay Pritchett, juror number 3.
杰·普里契特 三号陪审员
Terry. Call me Terry.
特里 叫我特里就行
- How you doing, Terry? - Hi. Good. You?
-你好吗 特里 -挺好的 你呢
Hey, this robbery case, huh?
关于这起抢劫案
Now, I know we don't have all the facts yet,
我知道我们对案情还没有全面了解
but I think it might be hard for me
但我觉得我可能下不了决心
to lock up a..."Steeler."
让劫匪[钢人队]进监狱
I try to keep it light.
希望我没用力过猛
You might if I join you?
你介意我坐下吗
No, no, no, free country. Sit down.
不不不 这是自由的国家 坐
He said "Yes"!
他同意了
The '70s, it was a better game.
七十年代的橄榄球赛要精彩多了
You guys did everything -- offense, defense.
你们无所不能 进攻 防守
Didn't I see you mow the field one night before the game?
你有次是不是还在赛前给场地除草来着
You know, that's how I made my money?
你知道我的钱就是靠除草赚来的吗
I can't actually believe
我真不敢相信
that I'm having lunch with Terry Bradshaw.
我在和特里·布拉德肖一起吃午餐
I mean, from football fame
从橄榄球球星
to country music stardom to big-screen idol.
到乡村音乐明星到著名演员
"Smokey and the Bandit II."
《横冲直撞斗飞车》续集
Now that was a challenge. To play yourself,
演自己 真的是项挑战
that can be kind of tricky.
特别不好演
I thought you stole the movies?
我认为整部戏焦点都到你身上了
Ah, stop that. You're too kind.
别夸我了 你人太好了
You know, not everything I touch turns to gold.
我也不是做什么成什么的
I mean, I've had my share of missteps along the way.
我这辈子也有过不少失误
Well, right, like "Failure to Launch," right?
是啊 例如《赖家王老五》 对吧
- Sorry? ?- You should be.
-什么 -你是该不好意思
I mean, that thing was a real stinker.
那电影太差劲了
I happen to be proud of that movie.
我偏偏很为那部电影自豪
I mean, that's some of the best work I've ever done.
那是我演得最好的电影之一
No, you were good, yeah.
你演得当然很好 没错
But, I mean, don't worry about it. Nobody saw it.
但演得好不好都没关系 反正没人看
Yeah, well.
那好
Guess it's about time we get on back in, huh?
我想我们该回庭上了
Same time tomorrow.
明天这时候再见
Hey, I'm wide open.
我日程表上全是空挡
Like in football.
像玩橄榄球时有空挡一样
Nobody speaks to my son like that.
没人能对我儿子那么说话
No, no, Mom, Mom, Mom.
不 妈 妈 妈
Please don't get up and make a scene and embarrass me more.
求你别过去大闹一场让我更丢人
I'm begging you.
我求你了
Okay, but you don't have to block me in.
好 但你没必要堵住我吧
I am not crazy.
我又不是疯婆子
I am not the hot-headed Latina
你们都以为我是个冲动的拉丁女人
that you all make me out to be.
但我不是那样的
You sent a cow heart to a children's soccer referee.
你给儿童足球裁判寄过一颗牛心
Manny, what else was I supposed to do?
曼尼 不然我还能怎么警告他
Look, what happened was a good thing.
刚刚那一幕也是好事
He was teaching me the focus required
他在教我想做个艺术家
to live the life of an artist,
就要有这种专注力
and that is a very valuable lesson that I'll cherish forever.
那是宝贵的一课 我会珍惜一辈子的
Okay, Papi, if you're happy, then I'm happy.
好吧小乖乖 如果你开心我就开心
Why don't you pick your dessert?
不如你挑份甜点吧
I wouldn't say no to an almond cookie
我不介意来块杏仁饼干
and an espresso and...
一杯浓缩咖啡
And you're gone, aren't you?
你已经不在了 是不是
- Honey, I'll take another -- - Shut up.
-亲爱的 再给我来份 -闭嘴
That's my son over there.
那是我儿子
He opened his beautiful soul to you,
他对你赤诚相待
to praise you, to get some advice from you,
赞美你 向你寻求建议
and you were mean to him?
你却对他这么刻薄
Come on, we both know that your attitude
拜托 我们都知道你这态度
is just a defense mechanism
只是一种防卫机制
to protect the tiny, little ego
保护你那小得可怜的自我
from the truth --
不愿承认事实
that you don't deserve any praise,
事实就是你根本不配任何赞美
that you're a fraud,
你是个骗子
that you're just a big, fat nobody.
一个无足轻重的大胖子而已
All men break the same.
所有男人都有一样的软肋
What's happening? What is all this?
这是什么鬼 这是什么意思
- Go up the next aisle. - ?Okay.
-去下一个货架通道 -行
Oh, God,
天啊
I'm loving these new pavers we picked.
我爱死我们新挑的地砖颜色了
You know what, I'm starting to have second thoughts.
其实我又有点犹豫了
Oh, no, this isn't gonna be
拜托
another conflict between us, is it?
我们不是又要开始吵了吧
Oh, gosh, I don't want another conflict.
我的天 我可不想再和你吵了
Okay, you're -- you're not actually putting
你不会真的想买
a reclaimed wood piece in our cart, are you?
这块再生木件吧
That's great, that's great.
说得好 说得好
No, the whole "reclaimed wood aesthetic"
不 "再生木材美学"
is an insulting appropriation of barn culture.
是对谷仓文化的侮辱性剽窃
No, I'm being serious.
我是认真的
It's like when Madonna wore overalls!
就像麦当娜穿工装裤的效果
- You're good. - Mitchell, take it out. I don't want it.
-太棒 -米奇尔 快拿走我不想要
I think it's pretty.
我觉得挺好看的
I think it's pretty offensive.
我觉得这挺冒犯人的
Okay, rein it in.
控制一下你的情绪
Oh, there she is, Mother Superior.
看啊 修道院院长
Okay, Rumple-thinskin.
够了 脸皮薄星人
Okay, you know what? I don't need this.
我不管了 我才不要吵
I'm just gonna go wait in the car.
我现在就去车里等着
Perfect, yeah, run away.
很好 逃走吧
And just FYI, the reason I like barn wood
只是告诉你一下 我喜欢谷仓木
is 'cause it reminds me of you.
是因为它让我想到你
- Really? ?- Yeah.
-真的吗 -真的
I mean I-I know that you get homesick sometimes,
我知道你有时候会很想家
and I-I want to bring
我就想给家里增添一点
a little, you know, country into our house.
一点乡村的气息
I'm sorry.
对不起
Didn't mean to offend you.
我不是有意要惹你生气的
Oh, you didn't offend me.
我没生气
I'm just being oversensitive like you said.
我只是像你说的太玻璃心了
I'm just being my normal snooty self.
我也是又开始骄傲自大了
I don't -- I don't know how you put up with me.
真不知道你是怎么一直忍让我的
I don't know how you put up with me.
是我不知道你怎么能一直忍我
I do.
我知道
Excuse me.
不好意思
- Oh. ?Yes? - Oh, yes? Hi.
-什么事 -怎么了 你好啊
I just need to get by.
我就是想借过一下
- Okay. ?- Okay.
-行 -没问题
He didn't say it.
他没有说那句话
He didn't say it.
他没说
And last, but not least, the city at your feet.
最后就是 这里尽览全城美景
Yeah. I'm still kind of flabbergasted
我还是挺吃惊的
that there's no bubble machine.
这里竟然没有泡沫机
It's okay. I can install my own.
没关系 我可以自己装一个
- Oh, you're judging me? - No, no.
-你在鄙视我吗 -没有
Maybe you're right.
可能你是对的
Maybe I am losing touch with who I am.
我可能的确越来越不食人间烟火了
All I really need is three chords and a mattress.
人生只需要一把三弦吉他和一张床垫
And my chef.
还有我的主厨就行了
Uh, hey, Phil, what's happening here?
菲尔 你怎么了
- Oh, not too much. - ?Phil?
-拜托别加重 -菲尔
Oh, my God, you've gone all yellow.
我的天 你脸都憋黄了
That's like your song.
和你的歌名一样
酷玩乐队经典代表作之一《Yellow》
Funny thing -- I also like to write mu--
真巧... 我也想写歌...
Phil?
菲尔
What happened?
我怎么了
Mr. Dunphy, you have acute orchitis.
邓菲先生 你得了急性睾丸炎
It's a massively inflamed testicle.
睾丸大面积发炎
I'm giving you an I.V. bag of antibiotics
我在给你打抗生素点滴
and some pain meds because...
也给你开了止痛药 因为...
Oh, boy.
太惨了
So embarrassed.
真丢人
I can't believe I passed out in front of a rock star.
不敢相信我晕倒在摇滚巨星面前
Please tell me he didn't know why.
请告诉我他不知道我晕倒的原因
Oh, brilliant, you're awake.
太棒了 你醒了
I've got some ice for your biscuits.
我给你的丸子拿了点冰来
No. No, no, no, no, no!
不要啊 不 别别别
Oh! Oh, that really --
太丢人了 咦 还真的...
Oh, that feels so good.
还真的挺舒服的
Terry, can we talk? Please don't shut me out.
特里 能聊聊吗 拜托别不理我
I know I messed up,
我知道我做错了
and I'm so sorry for my...
我对我午餐时的表现
failure at lunch.
非常抱歉[赖家王老五]
- Sir, please sit down. - Do you mind?
-先生 请坐下 -能让一个位置吗
Same seats.
不得换座
Let's proceed.
继续开庭
Juror number 10,
陪审员10号
has anyone in your family
你的家里
ever been the victim of a violent crime?
有没有人曾经是暴力犯罪的受害者
Well...my mother...
我的母亲...
- Psst! - Not you, keep going.
-嘿 - 没叫你 你继续说
Oh, actually,
对了
could you tap him on the shoulder?
你能不能拍他肩膀叫他一下
Juror 11, is this man bothering you?
陪审员11号 这个男人是在骚扰你吗
You talking about the movie critic right here?
你是说这个影评人吗
- Absolutely, he's bothering me! - ?Objection!
-当然了 他就是在骚扰我 -反对
I request permission to approach Mr. Bradshaw.
我请求接近布拉德肖先生的许可
No! I mean, denied!
不行 请求驳回
Look, that's not a thing you can ask.
这不是你能请求的事情
Your Honor, we'd like to dismiss Juror number 3.
法官大人 我们想请陪审员3号离席
What?! No, no.
什么 不不
I'll be good. I promise.
我不会再这样了 我保证
Sir, you have to leave now.
先生 现在请您离开
Fine.
好吧
I'm going.
我走
I'll be waiting in the parking lot, buddy.
老兄 我会在停车场等着你的
Judge hit me with a restraining order.
法官给我发了限制令
But Terry had to sign it.
但泰瑞得签名
We're gonna get through this together, Phillip.
我们会一起度过此劫的 菲利普
I guess I just don't understand why you're here.
我不懂你为什么要在这里
Well, because you really reached me back there,
因为是你让我警醒
and I realized I got to be more of a regular guy.
我得做回个正常人
Mr. Dunphy, I have your -- Chris Martin.
邓菲 我有... 克里斯·马汀
Wow. I'm a huge fan.
我是你的粉丝
- Can I get a picture with you? ?- No.
-我能和你合个影吗 -不行
I want a picture with you.
是我想和你合影
Come on. ?
来吧
Let's do it.
开始
Phil, 25 million followers.
菲尔 我有两千五百万粉丝
No, thank you.
别了 谢谢你
- Uh, I'd love some privacy. - All right.
-我需要私人空间 -好啦
Is there maybe a room opening up?
还有空闲房间吗
Phil? Honey?
菲尔 亲爱的
I came just as soon as Chris called me.
克里斯一打电话 我就赶来了
Hello.
你好
Claire, I've got to say, uh...
克莱尔 我不得不说
You're even more beautiful than you are in Phil's photos.
你本人比菲尔的照片里更漂亮
- I like your music. - Well, thank you.
-我很喜欢你的音乐 -谢谢
Claire, can I talk to you for one second.
克莱尔 我能和你说几句话不
Yes, of course, sweetie, yes.
当然啦 亲爱的
I want Chris Martin to leave.
我希望克里斯·马汀离开
Hm? What? Why?
什么 为什么
It's weird that he's here when I'm like this,
我这样子的时候 他在这里好奇怪
and he's attracting attention.
而且他把大家都吸引来了
Oh, I don't think... yeah, okay.
我觉得不... 好吧
Claire? Mm...
克莱尔
Oh, you're not gonna like this.
你可能不会喜欢这个
- This is so exciting! - You invited your book club?!
-太激动啦 -你邀请了你读书会的人吗
We're huge fans.
我们超喜欢你
A book club sounds kind of regular.
读书会听起来很平民化
I should join one of those.
我也应该加入一个
There's about to be an opening in ours.
我们即将有空缺
I'm the one who invited you here.
是我邀请你们来的
And what are you beautiful, uh, scholars reading?
美丽的智慧女性们 你们都读什么呢
"The Unwitting Miss Castle."
《不知情的卡斯尔小姐》
Mm. I love that book.
我喜欢这本书
Although I did find the fences metaphor
但我觉得里面栅栏的比喻
a little mundane.
略俗
- Oh, yes. Pretentious. - Completely agree.
-是啊 太做作了 -完全同意
I said the exact same thing last week,
上周我说了一模一样的话
and you guys just rolled your eyes at me.
你们却冲我翻白眼
Claire, don't be such a Mrs. Devereaux.
克莱尔 别和德弗罗夫人似的
- Twinsies! That is so you! - Hey, Phil.
-同感 太像你啦 -菲尔
Our photo got 25,000 likes.
我们照片有两万五千个赞啦
Phil?
菲尔
Phil?
菲尔
Oh, it's probably all the meds.
可能是因为药物的作用
I'll handle this.
放着我来
I've been to Burning Man with Keith Richards.
我曾和基思·理查兹去过狂欢节
滚石乐队成员 曾因使用海洛因被逮捕
No, no, no. I'll handle it.
不不 还是我来
I've been on vacation with my mother.
我可是和我疯子妈一起度过假
Hey. ?Where are you off to, stranger?
你要去哪呀 陌生人
Honey, I need to be alone.
亲爱的 我得一个人待会
Oh, honey, I'm sorry I invited
亲爱的 对不起 我不该
the girls from book club.
邀请读书会的姑娘们
It's -- I just wanted them to like me.
我就是想让她们喜欢我
I can't believe this happened.
我不敢相信这真的发生了
- This was supposed to be such an amazing day. ?- I know.
-这本应该是很棒的一天 -我知道
Is there anything I can do to make it better?
有没有什么我能做的
Yes. You can make Chris Martin go away, now.
你可以让克里斯·马汀离开 就现在
I'm so sorry, guys.
对不起 亲们
- Oh, I didn't mean to cause a -- - Oh, no, no, no, no.
-我不是故意要引起 -不不不
It's -- it's not you personally.
不是因为你这个人有问题
No, no, no, it is me. I'm a distraction.
不不 就是我的问题 我老让别人分心
Everyone wants to say "Hi"
每个人都想打招呼
or they want to take a picture
或者合照
or they want to sleep with me.
或者睡我
They sure do.
她们真的想
Shut 'er down, Marie.
得了 玛丽
And it's a nightmare.
简直是场噩梦
It's beginning to affect my creativity.
这开始影响到我的创造力
The last song I wrote was about my helicopter.
我写的最新一首歌是关于我的直升机
I was too ashamed to release it.
我实在没脸发行
I had to sell it to Qantus for $1 million.
我不得不卖给澳洲航空 卖了一百万
Your problems are so sanguine.
你的问题好枯苗望雨
Is that how you use that word?
这个词是这么用的吗
Nobody knows.
没人知道
Oh, anyway, I wish there was something I could do
总之 我希望我能做些什么
to make this all better.
让这有所改善
You could buy that house.
你可以买下那间房子
No, Phil.
不 菲尔
Thanks to you, that's the old me.
谢谢你 那是我过去的做法
Oh, good.
好吧
I know something you could do for him.
我知道你可以为他做什么
? You've been looking for your own special space ?
? 你一直寻找属于你的独特空间 ?
? Somewhere you can call your resting place ?
? 可称为栖息之所的地方 ?
? You've been looking for your kids and your spouse ?
? 你一直为了孩子和爱人寻找 ?
? It's time time to buy yourself a Dunphy house ?
? 是时候给自己买套邓菲推荐的房子 ?
? Oh, Dunphy, Dunphy, Dunphy ?
? 邓菲 邓菲 邓菲 ?
? They're affordable and comfy, comfy, comfy ?
? 价格实惠又舒适 舒适 舒适 ?
I can't believe he's actually making it work.
真不敢相信他能让这种歌好听
? Oh, Dunphy, Dunphy, Dunphy ?
? 邓菲 邓菲 邓菲 ?
Why would he not pick us?
那他为什么会不选我们
Yeah, we gave him everything he wants --
对啊 他想要的我们都有
a fight, reconciliation... ?
能吵架 能和好
...not to mention we're camera-ready.
而且我们上镜毫无压力
It's everything TV wants to be.
电视节目想要的全都符合
I mean, what does he want us to do,
他还要我们怎么样啊
write the episode for him?
帮他写好整集的脚本吗
Yeah, America deserves to see us get a free gazebo.
美国民众应该有看我们得到小凉亭的机会
There he is.
他在那里
I have half a mind to go over there and confront him.
我心里有5成想去跟他撕逼
Yeah, well, I have the other half.
我心里有另外5成
- Wait, wait. - Hi.
-等等 -你好
- Excuse us. - Can I help you guys?
-不好意思 -有何能效劳吗
Yeah, how about an explanation.
给我们个解释如何
Why aren't you picking us for your show?
你为什么不选我们上你节目
Yeah, what -- are we not sexy enough?
我们不够性感帅气吗
Not young enough for your demo?
还是不够小鲜肉
Wait, no, is it 'cause we're gay?
等等 难道是因为我们是同性恋吗
You know, I've actually never seen a gay couple
我好像没有看过同性恋情侣
on your little program.
上你的节目
Yeah, or a P.E. Teacher-slash-vice principal.
也没看过体育老师兼副校长上过
- He's literally that. - Just tell us why you're not picking us.
-他就是 -你就直说为何不选我们
Guys, I don't have a show anymore.
两位 我已经没有节目了
- Please, we just saw that episode -- ?Yeah.
-少来 我们刚看完你... -对啊
- Deb and Don in San Antonio last week? ?- Yeah.
-上周圣安东尼奥市的小黛与小唐那集 -对啊
Oh... ?Don wanted a place to grill.
小唐想要能烧烤的地方
- We got canceled, like, two years ago. - ?What?
-我们节目两年前就停了 -什么
- What, why? ?- Yeah. It's such a popular show!
-什么 -这节目不是很火吗
Look, uh...
是这样的...
The network fired me...
电视台把我炒了
- Why? - when they found out
-为什么 -他们发现我
that I had this website where people paid
建了一个网站让观众付费
to watch me build stuff naked.
看我裸体造东西
- Is that so? ?- Yeah.
-是吗 -是啊
How naked?
裸到哪种程度
?Very.
非常
You know what, why are you hanging out
那你为什么还在
in the aisles of a home store?
家居卖场里晃悠呢
I work here.
我在这里工作
- ?You do. - Yeah.
-还真是 -是啊
- Hey, if you did still have a show, um... - Uh-huh?
-那如果你节目还在... -然后呢
...would you pick us?
你会请我们上吗
It costs you nothing to say "Yes."
你说"愿意"不会死好吗
Oh, my God, we agreed again.
天啊 我们又心灵相通了
I begged you not to go over there.
我求过你别去了
I'm so embarrassed.
我现在好羞愧
Why?
羞愧什么
He's the one crying.
他才是在哇哇哭的人
My favorite part was
我最爱的部分就是
when he was gasping for air between sobs,
看他边哭边想喘气时
like a baby.
那像小婴儿的样子
Look at him. He's broken.
你看他 心都碎了
What if he never writes again?
万一他从此封笔了怎么办
Okay, I'll apologize to the 12 people
行 那我就去跟全世界剩下的
who still go out and watch plays.
12个还在看戏剧演出的人道歉
You do know I'm a theater major, right?
你知道我也是戏剧专业的吧
Yes, and when you're a great play writer
是啊 所以当你哪天变成大编剧
and you go to a restaurant --
然后也去到一家餐厅时
if you can afford it --
前提是你下得起馆子
then you're gonna be nice to strangers,
到时候你就得礼貌对待陌生粉丝
because that's the right thing to do, okay?
因为这才是正确的待粉之道 懂了吗
Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt.
抱歉 我不是有意要打扰
But I saw what happened before, and I'm sorry about that.
但我看到刚才发生的事了 我为你感到遗憾
But the way you stood up to that jerk Anvilmaker
但你挺身而出 去训了那贱人一顿
was kind of amazing, yeah.
真的是大快人心
Good for you.
为你点赞
And young man, listen --
小兄弟听我说
if this makes you feel any better,
希望这能安慰到你
he did the same thing to me. ?Oh.
其实他也那么对待我过
That's very nice of you to say.
谢谢您的一番美言
Thank you so much. So...
十分感谢您的鼓励
You know, I, uh... I write.
其实呢... 我也写作
Oh, boy. ?
要命
No, it's not like I'm just some, you know, some --
我不是那种... 那种...
excuse me -- some --
过去一下 那种...
you know, just some city slicker who --
那种乱吹牛逼的老滑头
who doesn't know what he's talking about.
毛都不懂就胡吹乱盖
But, uh... if I could teach you one thing,
但如果我能传授你一招
just one thing that you learn from this,
就这一招 如果你能学会
it'll make your plays sound and look marvelous.
你的剧就能够变得活灵活现
You know?
懂吧
So, the most important thing is to --
所以最重要的一件事就是...
is to know that writing is really re-writing.
认识到创作其实就是改写
You may want to jot that down.
这句箴言你最好写下来
Uh... And then change it.
然后再"修改"
Did you see what I did there?
听出我这句话的哏了吗
You know what? We really need to be somewhere right now.
抱歉 我们真的有事得先走了
- Yeah, we better go. - Okay.
-对啊 别迟到了 -好的
- Yeah. - All right.
-是啊 -没事
Okay, thank you.
谢谢你
I'm sorry, we didn't realize we were so annoying.
真的对不起 我之前没意识到我们多烦人
Our bad.
是我们不对
Have fun storming the castle!
祝下笔如神 势如破竹
Nothing.
没回应
I'm gonna shave.
老子要去落发修面了
? Come feel the thrill, thrill, thrill ?
? 来感受那刺激 激 激 ?
? Of Phil, Phil, Phil ?
? 的菲尔 尔 尔 ?
? The thrill, thrill, thrill ?
? 那刺激 激 激 ?
? The thrill of Phil ?
? 菲尔的刺激 ?
Could you turn that down please?
能麻烦去把那声音关掉吗
Everybody.
大家一起来
So, a couple quick thoughts.
我有几个小灵感