摩登家庭 第十季 Modern Family Season 10 第13集: What's Next

上映日期: 2,018

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 盖尔·曼库索 / 斯蒂文·莱维坦

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·


台词
Welcome. Most of you know me as Acting Vice Principal Tucker,
欢迎 你们大多知道我代理副校长塔克的身份
but today...
但是今天...
I am your guide to the future...
我是你们通往未来的指引者...
the future... the future.
未来... 未来...
Okay, so you didn't take my note on the echo.
好吧 所以你在回音上没听我的建议
Mitchell, I can't take another negative voice in my head.
米奇尔 我脑子听不进更多的负面评论了
I'm already freaking out about Principal Brown.
我已经被布朗校长吓懵了
I kind of have a bully at school.
我有种在学校被人霸凌的感觉
You gonna eat all that?
你要把这都吃完吗
I-I guess not.
我 我想不是吧
Okay.
那好
Saw your plans ‭for the seminar tomorrow.
看到你关于明天研讨会的计划了
Oh, you like it? ‭Y-You know, I think the kids
你喜欢吗 你知道 我觉得孩子们
will really benefit from hearing from four graduates
听一听四个路途迥异的毕业生的发言
that have taken such different paths.
一定会感觉获益匪浅的
I've got traditional college, gap year --
他们中有传统上大学的 也有空档一年的...
Wrong! We're pushing one path here -- college.
大错特错 我们只推行一条路 上大学
Well, yeah, but college isn't necessarily
行吧 好 但大学才不是
the right path for every--
对每个人来说的必经...
Tucker, are you familiar with the term "Golden Apple"?
塔克 你熟悉"金苹果"这个词吗
I am. I'm a little surprised
熟悉啊 我有点惊讶
it's made its way ‭into the straight vernacular.
这个用语进入了普通直男世界
It's still illegal in Alabama.
这玩法在阿拉巴马州还是非法的呢
No, no, no, Golden Apple status is awarded to schools
不不不 金苹果是个奖项 授予给那些
that reach a minimum of 60% college acceptance.
大学录取率在60%以上的学校
If we dip below that, I'm back to teaching night school.
如果我们不够 我就得回去在夜校教书了
If you think ‭the lunch ladies are mean,
如果你认为学校的午餐阿姨很凶残的话
you should meet the dinner ladies.
那晚餐阿姨就是残上加残了
Yeah, but what about the students that --
行 但其他学生...
Play ball, ‭Acting Vice Principal Tucker,
"合作玩球" 代理副校长塔克
and you might just find yourself --
或许你会发现自己变成了...
Vice principal?
副校长吗
I just don't know ‭if I can preach something
我只是不确定我是不是能说动别人
that I don't believe.
听信一些我自己都不相信的事情
- Ha! Play ball. - ‭Seems like a thing
-"合作玩球" -这词以前没人用
no one was saying, and now everyone is.
现在倒是大红大紫了
You know ‭what I'm doing right now?
你知道我在做什么吗
I'm making 100 cupcakes
我在做一百个小蛋糕
because the D.A. lost his caterer for his kid's party
因为地检官孩子派对的承办人跑了
and asked if I could help out.
他问我能不能帮忙
But if it puts me, uh, higher up on his radar,
但是如果这能让他对我多加青睐的话
then so be it.
那我就做吧
I'm just saying sometimes you need to compromise
我只是说有时候你得妥协
to -- to get ahead.
以退为进
Maybe it's our time now.
也许我们的时代到来了
Ooh, I like that.
我喜欢
Hey, world, there's a new power couple on the horizon.
你好 世界 一对强权夫夫正在冉冉升起
Yeah.
Cam and Mitch.
小卡和米奇
Citch -- No, that sounds weird.
卡奇... 不 听起来好怪
Mam --
米姆[女士]...
We'll find it.
以后会想到的
家 庭
摩 登
第十季 第十三集
Hey, Dad, our video conference is about to start.
爸爸 我们的视频会议快要开始了
Can we make it fast? I have that sales meeting offsite.
我们能快点吗 我还要出去开销售会议
Hence the power threads and box of cigars.
所以得穿着战袍 带着雪茄
Whoa! Dad, ‭it's 10:00 in the morning.
爸爸 现在才上午十点
I don't swallow it.
我不会咽的
He smells it on my breath, he lets his guard down.
他闻到我身上的酒气就会放松警惕
In 20 minutes, I'm taking him
只要二十分钟 他就随我玩弄
in a way that would make a prison guard blush.
把他玩到连"见多识广"的狱警看到都会脸红
‭It's the way gentlemen do business.
这是绅士们谈生意的方法
Well, I am sorry to ruin your Glengarry, Glenlivet fun,
那很抱歉我打扰了您的威士忌雅兴
but that meeting got canceled.
但那个会议被取消了
What? I was looking forward to it.
什么 我还盼着呢
Nick took care of it by Skype this morning.
今天早上尼克通过网络电话把它搞定了
Log on. Our meeting's about to start.
登录吧 咱们的会议要开始了
Okay, let's begin.
好了 我们开始吧
So, Nick, where are we
尼克 咱们关于互动衣柜
with the interactive closet with the voice prompts?
语音指令的事情进行到哪一步了
Here's a demo.
这里有份样本
Went with a Christopher Walken soundalike voice.
用了与克里斯托弗·沃肯[演员]近似的声音
Forecast is...chilly.
预报说...寒冷
Put...on some pants.
穿上...一些裤子
I think we all fell in love with the idea of calling it
可能是因为当时我们都喜欢"步入式衣帽间"
a Walken closet, ‭but this just isn't working.
与那个演员名的谐音哏 但这声音真的不搭
Hey, Claire, I don't see your dad on the video conference.
克莱尔 我怎么没看到你爸来开会呢
Damn it!
妈的
My computer's busted again.
我电脑又坏了
Or your caps lock is on.
或者你的大写锁定又开了
Can't we have this meeting in the conference room?
我们就不能在会议室开会吗
You know, where we all sit around a table,
我们都围着桌子坐下
there's a nice breakfast spread?
面前摆着丰盛的早餐
I am tired of having to keep cream cheese in my desk.
我厌倦了总把奶油干酪锁在抽屉里
Dad, you know why we do it this way.
爸爸 你知道我们为什么要这么做
We have people working here.
我们有员工在这里工作
We've got people working from home.
也有员工在家工作
We've got people working all over the world.
我们有在世界各地工作的员工
Tiffany is in Berlin at KlausetSchvarg.
蒂芙尼还在柏林的德国衣柜展呢
They still have that conference?
这个展还在啊
I thought they shut that down in the '80s
我还以为在80年代东德衣柜展时期
after we used that sweater hutch to smuggle that dissident out
我们用那个毛衣柜把持不同政见者偷运出去后
during East KlausetSchvarg.
那个展就从此被取消了呢
You're good. ‭Just talk into the camera.
被你发现了 记得说话对着摄像头说
Hoo! Sorry about that.
很抱歉刚才的事
All right. How about an update on our 3-D printing?
好的 我们的3D打印有没有进展呢
I think ‭everybody knows Eduardo.
我想大家都认识爱德华多吧
Jay, have you two met?
杰 你俩见面了吗
I can't see the camera!
我看不见摄像头
Dad, you're, uh...
爸爸 你在...
you're kind of smushed up against it.
你有点挡住镜头了
You might want to just step back a skosh.
你也许应该往后退一点
Using a 3-D printer to manufacture our closets
使用3D打印机去制造我们的衣柜
will triple revenue.
能增加三倍的收益
I can't hear you!
我听不到你们说话
Volume up, Dad.
音量调大 爸爸
In our first year alone --
仅在第一年...
What the hell?!
搞什么鬼
Dad, "undo." Just --
爸爸 "撤销" 就...
I know! I know!
我知道 我知道
Double-click.
双击
♪ Happy birrrthday ♪
♪ 生日快乐 ♪
♪ Mr. Closet -- ♪
♪ 衣柜先生 ♪
No! No!
别 别
Have your stupid meeting! I'm outta here!
你们自己开这蠢会吧 我要离开这里
Margaret, I'm going to the park across the street.
玛格丽特 我要去街对面的公园
I need a walk!
我去走走
Thank you so much ‭for helping out with Joe.
真是太感谢你帮乔的忙了
You don't think it's too flashy?
你不会觉得这样太华丽吗
What are you talking about? You're taking a magic class.
你说什么呢 你可要上的可是魔术课
You want to show them you're serious.
得表现出你是认真的
It's abracadabra, not abraca-drab-ra.
是魔法师 不是无聊师
Look at that! An open casting call.
看那边 公开选角征集令
Excuse me, what is this for?
打扰一下 这是选什么角色
We are looking for real families to be the new faces
我们在为格伦谷购物中心寻找真实家庭
of the Glen Valley Mall.
当新的代言人
You guys are adorable. Want to sign up?
你们都挺不错 想报名吗
Oh, we're not a-a real --
我们不是真的是一家
Oh, we would love to!
我们愿意
What a cool and a spontaneous thing to do!
这么好的事刚巧赶上了
I saw that poster last week.
我一个星期前就看到海报了
It kind of reminded me of a long time ago
让我想起了很久以前
when I used to do a little modeling.
我客串当模特的时候
I guess I miss it.
可能我挺怀念那时候
I tricked Phil into going to the mall
我把菲尔骗到商场
because I knew that Jay wouldn't do it with me.
因为我知道杰不会和我试镜的
Oh, come on, guys. ‭This is gonna be so much fun.
来吧 这会很有意思的
I don't know.
我不确定
This kid in my class did a cough syrup commercial.
我们班的一个小孩拍了止咳糖浆的广告
Now he's always going to the teachers' lounge
现在他总是去教师休息室
to call his manager.
给经纪人打电话
He's the worst.
他最讨厌了
And I teach ‭a real-estate class at 5:00.
我五点钟有一节房地产课要上
I have to show up early to limber up.
我需要早点过去做准备
I think that this could help a lot with Joe's self-esteem.
我觉得这对乔的自尊大有好处
He's had a rough week.
他这周过得很不顺
You know how they treat kids that are into magic.
你知道同龄人怎么对待喜欢魔术的孩子
Oh, you tell him when he gets to high school, that all changes.
你告诉他等到了高中就不会那样了
I don't like lying to him.
我可不想骗他
Look, this isn't really my thing, and I'm --
你看 我真的不擅长这种事
I'm feeling ‭a little under the weather.
而且我最近有点生病
Don't -- Don't I look a little pale?
你不觉得我看起来脸色有点苍白吗
- We will do it! - Great.
-我们要参加 -太好了
Our P.A. Will set you up with wardrobe for some test shots.
我们的私人助理会给你们准备好衣服试镜
Hey, team. Can I get you anything?
你们好 需要我给你们拿点什么吗
Uh, coffee? Water? Still or sparkling?
咖啡 水 纯净水还是气泡水
Ooh, I-I'd take a sparkling.
我要气泡水
Talent wants sparkling.
这位人才要气泡水
Did you hear that, Phil?
你听到了吗 菲尔
They call us talent!
他们叫我们人才
Let's not get carried away. We're still reg--
我们别太激动得忘形 我们还是普通...
I said sparkling.
我说要气泡水
Well, looks like you're gonna get
看起来参加的人
a pretty solid turnout, Tucker.
不少啊 塔克
Now close the deal.
现在差不多可以了
Hey, what is, uh, "Whanex"?
这是什么 "接啥"
It's the way ‭the kids say "What's next?"
这年头年轻人版本的"接下来是什么"
You know, if you want to reach them,
你知道 你要想和他们拉近距离
you have to learn to speak their language.
就要学习他们的说话方式
Massive screw-up at the print shop.
打印店搞砸了
I-I have no idea how it happened!
我完全不知道怎么搞砸的
Yeah, that's right. The banner should read...
对没错 横幅上应该写...
whanex. Okay.
接啥 好
Yeah, whanex.
对 接啥
Welcome, students, to the first annual "Whanex" seminar.
欢迎同学们来到第一届年度"接啥"研讨会
Let's, uh, just jump right into it and meet our panelists.
我们直接步入正题 欢迎今天的座谈嘉宾们
We have two bright, young people who chose the college path
我们邀请了两位选择走入大学的优秀青年
and two wayward souls
还有两个任性的迷途青年
whose mistakes we can only hope to learn from.
但愿我们能从他们身上吸取教训
Sup, Dolphins?
你们好 海豚队
Nick, I'm so sorry about my dad this morning.
尼克 对我爸早上的事我很抱歉
- Hi. - ‭Please forget it.
-你们好 -没事的 别想了
We've got a bigger problem.
我们现在有个更大的问题
We have to find a new voice for the virtual closet assistant.
我们需要为虚拟衣柜助手找个新的声音
We're thinking...female.
我们考虑 女声
Yeah, I was wondering about that myself.
我自己也在考虑
Hold on a second.
等一等
Claire has a great voice -- commanding but alluring.
克莱尔有一副好嗓音 又威严又诱人
Oh, come on. I don't know about...
哪有 我可不知道什么
...alluring.
诱人
You're right.
你说得没错
You're right. I can totally hear it.
你说得对 我完全能听出来
Guys, guys...
大伙 大伙
‭...you're embarrassing me.
你们说得我都不好意思了
Where have you been hiding this?
你的这一面一直藏在哪了
Within half an hour, I had recorded all the voice prompts
半小时内 我给新的智能衣柜录完了
for the new smart-closet, and they installed it
所有的语音指令 然后他们把语音装入了
in the prototype right in the office.
办公室的样品柜里
Everyone seemed really happy, but I don't get it.
大家都很高兴 但是我不是很理解
I mean...
我是说
...A voice is just a voice.
声音就是声音而已
Oh, good. Dad, you're back.
太好了 爸 你回来了
Please step into our new smart-closet prototype.
请移步我们的新型智能样品衣柜里
So you can yell at me for bailing on the meeting this morning?
方便你骂我上午不参加会议吗
Just -- You'll see.
进去就知道了
May I help choose an outfit for you?
我能帮你选件外套吗
Cause I'm some old fossil
因为我是那种还在
that still puts on a suit to go to work?
穿西装上班的老古董吗
Let's start over.
让我们重新开始
Why don't we?!
来就来
What level of comfort are you looking for?
你想要哪种程度的舒适感
Same thing I've had for the last 40 years --
跟我过去四十年一模一样的那种
a workplace where you interact with actual people
一个能时不时和真人交流的办公场所
every once in a while, like we're doing right now.
就像我们现在这样
I used to love sales calls.
我以前很喜欢销售电话
Now we don't even do them anymore.
现在我们都不这样推销了
I mean, put yourself in my shoes.
我的意思是 你换位思考一下
Dress or casual?
正装还是休闲
Why do you sound like Lauren Bacall?!
为什么你听起来像劳伦·白考尔[老明星]
I don't understand.
我听不明白
Right, because now, like everything,
对 因为现在 就像所有的东西一样
my references are old and out of step.
我说的梗也过时跟不上你们了
Why are you yelling?
你为什么在吼
If you don't get it by now, you're never gonna get it!
你现在还不懂的话 你永远都不会懂了
Well, somebody's panties are in a bunch.
有人又玻璃心了[内裤卡屁股]
May I offer you a different pair?
我可以再帮您准备一条吗
That's just weird.
听起来好诡异
Ooh! Very good.
太好了
I had an hour to make 100 cupcakes...
我有一个小时给我老板儿子的派对
...for my boss's son's party,
准备一百个小蛋糕
but it was all gonna be worth it.
但是这一切都是值得的
He was gonna be so grateful,
他一定会很感激
the next big promotion would be mine.
下个升职的就是我
You ungrateful monster!
你这个忘恩负义的混蛋
Two sisters, two paths.
亲姐妹却有不同的人生轨道
Graduation...
毕业
procreation.
生育
The world on a string --
一个掌控一切
a baby and no ring.
一个未婚先孕
Uh, you -- you said you were happy for me.
你说你为我而高兴
You said a baby would bring me limitless joy.
你说孩子会为我带来无穷的乐趣
And a limited bank account.
以及很穷的生活啊
Now, Manny, no one can doubt
现在 曼尼 没有人怀疑
the real-world value of an art degree,
艺术学位在现实世界的价值
but talk a little bit about the exciting social scene.
但说点令人激动的日常东西吧
It's funny you ask -- I went to a wine and cheese mixer
这么问真有趣 我有天晚上
at the Dean's house the other night.
去院长家参加美酒与起司晚会
He collects instruments of indigenous people.
他收集原住民的乐器
And by the time we killed the last bit of a chewy Zinfandel,
我们喝完最后一点浓郁的仙粉黛酒后
our jam sesh started to sound like a didgeri- don't.
我们演奏的原住民乐器更像原住民"越气"了
Thank you.
谢谢
Could I please pipe in here?
我能从这接着说吗
Yes, please. Alex.
好的 请 这是艾丽克斯
I genuinely appreciate
我真的很感谢
the opportunity to come back here,
能有机会再回来
where I had the pleasure of serving as co-valedictorian,
这个我曾是毕业致辞的代表的学校
to offer a message of hope
为被排斥的成绩好的学生
to those oft-marginalized overachievers out there.
带来了希望 真的很开心
I...see...you.
我看见你们了
Well, I can't be the only one with goose bumps in here.
不是我一个人起了鸡皮疙瘩吧
Oh. Excuse me. Oh.
请原谅我
Yes, let's open it up for questions.
好的 欢迎大家提问
Right here in the front row. Go ahead.
前排那位 请
I still don't get "Whanex."
我还是不懂"接啥"
It sounds like my grandparents' long-distance carrier in Oregon.
听起来像我祖父母在俄勒冈的长途电话公司
Okay, okay. You know what? I have to take this.
好的 你知道吗 我得接这个电话
Uh, Luke, Haley, talk a little bit
卢克 海莉 说说
about how you still live at home with your parents.
你们还住在父母家的感受吧
Hey, what's up?
怎么啦
I'm in the middle of my thing.
我还没结束呢
‭Flip what I said before.
别听我之前说的合作
Start talking up the dummies.
夸你想夸的傻蛋二人们吧
What?
什么
Um, I just got a text from work.
我刚收到工作上的一条短信
My boss gave that big case to someone else!
我老板把那个大案子给别人了
Meanwhile, I'm still on the hook
同时 我还在
for these stupid cupcakes!
弄这些可恶的纸杯蛋糕
M-My heart is racing, my -- my hands are numb.
我的心跳很快 我的手没知觉了
Plus, I-I think I have a case of airborne diabetes!
而且我感觉要被空气传染糖尿病了
Wait. Are you saying I-I should --
等下 你是说我应该
Look, if those college application numbers fall,
如果这些大学应用数据下降
Principal Brown, he gets fired.
布朗校长就会被开除
Guess who's up next. Principal Tucker.
猜猜接下来是会当 塔克校长
I've never dared dream of such a thing.
我从来不敢这么想
More money,
更高的薪水
better parking space,
更好的停车位
plus you get to pick the prom theme.
而且舞会主题将由你挑选
I can finally make my Enchanted Bayou a reality.
我终于能实现我的魔法湖心会主题了
Okay, t-talk -- talk soon.
好的 回聊
What's great about art school
艺术学校最棒的是
is that a lot of the faculty work in the industry.
有很多老师都在行业工作
My film studies professor
我的电影研究教授
has led tours at every major studio.
带我们参观了所有的大制片厂
All right, thank you, Manny.
好的 谢谢 曼尼
And for those of you still awake,
对于那些还醒着的各位
I think what we've learned here today is -- college,
我认为我们今天都学到了 大学...
a dead end.
就是个死胡同
Okay, up next.
好了 下一个
Philip, Gloria, and Joe.
菲利普 歌洛莉亚 乔
Same setup.
同样的场景
Dad playing catch with his son. Mom laying out a picnic.
爸爸和儿子玩接投球 妈妈摆放餐具
So, just real natural. Like I'm not even here.
好的 自然点 就像我不在这里
You got it.
没问题
Maybe not so sexy.
别这么性感
My bad.
我的失误
He was talking to Mom.
他在和妈妈说话
You can just lay out the food in a normal way.
你就用正常的方式摆食物
Copy that. No divas here.
收到 不要再这么戏精了
Her head is doing something weird.
她的头也很奇怪
Can we straighten that up?
能再调整一下吗
Hang on, guys.
等下 各位
Why are they whispering?
他们为什么在窃窃私语
You think I look too young for you?
是因为我们太老夫少妻感吗
Why? Are my crow's feet showing?
为什么 我的鱼尾纹很明显吗
I knew makeup was going too light on the concealer.
我就知道化妆师遮瑕用太少
Guys, we're just mixing and matching today,
各位 我们今天就混着搭配下试试
so we're thinking about swapping out one of you.
所以我们考虑换掉你们其中一个
No, we're a team.
不 我们是一个组的
You get rid of one of us, and you lose all of us.
我们进退一致
It's the kid.
是那个小孩
Okay.
好的
I thought this was supposed to be for Joe.
我还以为这是为了乔呢
Obviously, he's terrible at it,
很明显 他太差了
so how is that gonna help him with his self-esteem?
那怎么能帮助提升他的自尊心呢
Hi, I'm Tyler.
你好 我是泰勒
Oh, this is not good.
不妙
Tyler, don't get too comfortable.
泰勒 可能很快要说再见了
I think we want to try something different.
我觉得我们需要试点不同的
- Hey, Sean, could you step up here? - Yep.
-肖恩 你能过来下吗 -好的
I'm so sorry, Phil.
对不起 菲尔
No, we want to look at two dads.
不 我们想试下两个爸爸
I can't play the kid.
我不能扮演孩子啊
Looks like you're out. Here we go.
看来你出局了 我们走
- Sean, was it? - ‭Yeah. Hey.
-肖恩 对吧 -没错 嗨
- How are you? - ‭Good.
-你好吗 -还不错
Hmm. Not feeling that chemistry.
感受不到化学反应
Maybe we should kiss?
或者我们应该接吻
We could just wait for them to tell us what to do.
我们还是等他们指示吧
Let's try Sean and a mom.
让我们试下肖恩和一个妈妈
Move, Phil.
走开 菲尔
No, we meant Lydia.
不 我们指的是莉迪亚
All right, almost there.
好的 差不多了
Hey, Joe, hop up here for me.
乔 你过来试试
Yes! That's our family.
太棒了 这就是我们的一家人了
The new faces of Glen Valley Mall.
这就是我们格伦谷购物中心的新面孔
Everyone else can go. Thank you.
其他人可以离开了 谢谢
Nice working with you guys.
很高兴和你们合作
I have an audition across town.
我在城另一边还有个试镜
For what?
什么试镜
Do they need grownups?
他们需要成年人吗
Alright, we've heard from our college-going sheep.
我们已经听乖乖上大学的羔羊们说了很多
Now, Luke, you wisely took a gap year,
卢克 你明智地选择空档一年
got a job, made mad stacks,
找了份工作 赚了超多钱
and invested a little, correct?
还稍微做了投资对吗
Totally. I own 300 microrubels,
没错 我持有300微卢布
a Russian cryptocurrency I heard about on Facebook,
这是我在脸书上听说的俄罗斯加密货币
which currently, you can only use to buy
目前只能用于购买一种
a Chechen party drug called Frankenstein.
叫弗兰肯斯坦的车臣派对毒品
Okay, Haley, uh...
好吧 海莉
hot boyfriend, job, baby on the way --
有性感男友 有工作 准妈妈
You seem to have it all, yet you took a very different path
感觉你人生圆满 而你选择的道路
than your older sister, Alex.
和你姐姐艾丽克斯很不一样
- I'm younger! - Oh, wow. Okay.
-我是妹妹 -是吗 好吧
I guess that's why they call studying
我想这就是为什么人们说如今
"The new smoking."
"学习如抽烟催人老"
No one says that.
从没有人这么说
Can I add --
我能不能加一句
I'm sure you can, but it won't help in the real world.
你肯定能 但对现实世界又有什么帮助
Anyway, thank you all for coming.
总之 多谢各位前来
Have a good afternoon. Take care.
大家下午愉快 保重
Cam, what the hell?
小卡 你搞什么
I learned a lot.
我学到了很多
Tucker!
塔克
I wasn't picking up a lot of Uber fares,
我在滴滴上没接到客
so I came back here early
所以我提前回来
and I heard the end of your little presentation.
听到了你最后这段结尾
I know what you're trying to do.
我知道你打的什么小算盘
Hey, I just need to talk to him for-for one second.
我得和他谈一下
Hey, hey. Guess what.
你猜怎么着
I just dropped off the cupcakes at my boss's house.
我刚刚把小蛋糕送到上司家去了
Turns out he-he didn't give me the case I wanted
原来他没把我想接的案子给我
because he had ‭an even better one for me.
是因为他有个更好的案子要给我
Really? T-that's amazing.
真的吗 那太好了
And he didn't want me to make cupcakes.
而且他也不是要我做小蛋糕
He just wanted me ‭to recommend a new caterer.
他只是想让我推荐一个新承包商
So we had a big laugh about that.
我们为此笑得前仰后合
But just goes to show,
但这都证明了
don't play games.
别耍小把戏
Do your job, ‭and you'll be recognized.
做好你的工作 你就会得到认可
Yeah, but you said -- No, ah! Forget what I said.
-是啊 可你说 -别管我说过什么
T-there's no one path to success.
条条大路通罗马
I mean, that's what you should be telling these kids.
这才是你该教给孩子们的
Yeah, that's what I was going to tell these kids --
是啊 我本来是想这么跟孩子们说的
Damn it, Tucker!
去你的 塔克
I can't hold my alpha power stance this long.
我的霸气姿势维持不了这么久
My calves are starting to cramp.
我的小腿要抽筋了
Okay, well, first of all --
好吧 首先
No, can it! Okay?
不 省省吧 明白吗
You thought you could bury me by killing college applications,
你以为能用低大学申请率埋葬我
didn't you?
是不是
I will clean out my half of the desk that I share.
我这就去收拾和别人共用的那半张桌子
Oh, no, it's -- I'm so sorry. T-this is-this is my fault.
不 我很抱歉 这都是我的错
I tried to play ball at work.
我在工作上试着"合作玩球"
There was a lot of unnecessary baking.
还没必要地烤了很多蛋糕
The point is, I-I put these ideas into his head, so...
重点是 是我给了他这些想法 所以...
So you're so weak and without conviction
所以你如此软弱 没有信念
that somebody suggests some stupid idea to you
某人向你提议一些蠢主意
and without even thinking, you just abandon all your values
你甚至不想想看 就抛弃所有价值观
and fold like ‭a cheap Chinese fan, huh?
像廉价的扇子一样任凭人折来折去
Yes, sir. I am a worm.
是的 先生 我是只应声虫
That is exactly what I'm looking for.
这正是我要找的特质
No threat to me at all.
完全不会威胁到我
Well, congratulations, permanent Vice Principal Tucker.
恭喜你 正式副校长塔克
- Really? - ‭Yes.
-真的吗 -真的
Thank you! I love you!
谢谢您 我爱您
I love you, too.
我也爱你
Now, first order of business -- fix what you did here.
当务之急 去弥补你刚才的过失
You are gonna give me a Golden Apple.
你要为我摘下金苹果
一种同性恋间的特殊玩法淋湿一个苹果后再塞入伴侣后庭
We are ‭in a committed relationship!
我们俩可是稳定伴侣
No, no, no. It's not the same thing we saw at
不不不 这不是一回事
Pepper's bachelor party.
不是胡娇单身汉派对上那种
- It's not? - ‭No.
-不是吗 -不是
After fighting with everybody all day,
和所有人吵了一整天后
I was starting to think maybe... I was the jerk.
我开始思考 或许 是我犯浑了
So I ended up back at the old office, you know,
所以最后我回到老办公室
trying to figure out what it was about going to work there
试图搞清楚我究竟是为什么
that I loved so much.
热爱去那里工作
Congratulations.
恭喜
You've been hired at Pritchett's Closets, Blinds, and Waterbeds.
你被普里契特衣柜 百叶窗及水床雇用了
I'm Jay Pritchett.
我是杰·普里契特
Welcome to the team.
欢迎成为团队一员
You hear that?
听到了吗
They're cheering for you already.
他们已经在为你欢呼了
That's something we value here -- teamwork.
我们这里很珍视一个品质 那就是团队合作
And whether you're in sales or shipping
无论你是销售部还是运输部
or one of those cute tomatoes in the steno pool,
或是可爱的文职人员之一
you're important,
你都很重要
'cause we're family here.
因为在这我们是一家人
Wait a minute! Who's this new employee?
等一下 这个新雇员是谁
It's me -- Claire, Daddy.
是我 克莱尔 爸爸
Oh, right! It's Claire!
没错 是克莱尔
Nice hands.
手真灵巧
Reminds me why our softball team never won a game.
难怪我们公司的垒球队永远赢不了球
Look who they let out of the fancy corporate office.
看看是谁从高级总部办公室跑出来了
Hey, that wife of yours get smart and leave you yet?
你老婆突然醒悟离你而去了没
Eh, actually, she did. It's been rough.
她真的离我而去了 这段日子很艰难
Oh. ‭I -- We didn't know. I'm so sorry.
我们不知道 我太抱歉了
Ah, you mutts, I'm screwing with you!
你们这些傻瓜 我逗你们玩的
Where's she going?
她能去哪
I knew my dad was going through something,
我知道我爸心里有疙瘩
and when I saw his car at the old office,
当我在旧办公室看到他的车时
I-I stopped by to check on him.
就过来确认他状态如何
Are you feeling shy, Claire?
你羞吗 克莱尔
Yeah, I guess I am a little.
是啊 我想是有点
How old are you?
你几岁了
You're right. Just come out and say it.
你说得对 我就直说了
I'm worried that you're unhappy we sold the company
我担心我们把公司卖了让你不开心
and you're blaming it on me.
并且你觉得这是我的错
You're making that face like you have to go potty.
你又有你要去拉粑粑的那个表情了
I'm anxious and --
我很焦虑
How can you even see my face?
你怎么能看到我的表情啊
She's my daughter.
她是我女儿
She thinks she runs the place.
她认为这里她说了算
You said he wouldn't do it.
你还说他不会干呢
You're damn right, I did it.
没错 老子干了
Boss is still the best, huh?
老大永远都是老大啊
My dad was homesick.
老爸想"家"了
That is one photogenic butt, Jay.
杰 你的屁股可真上相啊
Take it with you. ‭You can kiss it at home, too.
你带回家吧 让你在家还能继续拍马屁
- Hey, guys. - Hey.
-大家好啊 -你来啦
- Hi, Dad. - ‭Hey, what are you doing here?
-老爸 -你怎么来这里啦
I, uh, saw your car.
我看到你的车嘛
Look...
听我说
I know you've been frustrated at work lately.
我知道你最近在工作上有点不顺心
Don't worry about that.
不用担心这个啦
You're doing great, though, huh?
但你新工作上挺顺利的吧
Yeah, I kind of love it.
是啊 我还挺喜欢的
But it doesn't feel right if you hate it.
但我不能只顾自己不顾你啊
Dad, we can bail on the whole thing.
老爸 这合作我们是可以甩头就走的
You know what I need to bail on?
你知道我真正该甩开的是什么吗
Being such a little peach.
是甩开像桃子般的自己
- What? - They bruise easily.
-什么 -一磕碰就坏嘛
It could be an expression. I don't know.
我记得有这种说法 但无所谓啦
The point is, when I was here, I reached out more.
重点是当我在这里时 我更能与人接触
I made videos greeting people.
我录了与别人问候的视频
I built real relationships.
建立起了真正的感情
Those three guys -- I knew two of their names.
刚才那三个人 我能记住其中两人的名字呢
I think maybe I need to try to be a little bit more like you
我想或许我该试着多向你学习
and give this new thing a chance.
给这个新合作一个机会
You know, they're not so bad when you get past the --
其实他们也没那么糟啦 只要你习惯了...
the hipster beards ‭and the sweaty handshakes.
他们的嬉皮士胡子还有都是手汗的握手
Tell me about that printer guy, Eduardo.
跟我说说那个打印男 爱德华多
What the hell is 3-D printing anyway?
3D打印到底是什么鬼
Look at you trying.
你在试着学习呢
Oh, Dad!
老爸
Okay, 3-D printing is when you take three lasers
3D打印就是用三种激光
and you can scan any object you want.
你可以扫描任何你想要的事物
You --
然后...
You want to 3-D print your butt, don't you?
你想3D打印你的屁股对吧
We want them to like me, don't we?
你想要他们喜欢我不是吗
Okay, baby, ‭have fun at your play date.
好了 宝贝跟小伙伴玩得开心
I'll pick you up in two hours.
我两小时后来接你
Can you believe I'm a model now?
你能相信我现在是个模特了吗
Crazy world.
疯狂世界啊
See you, buddy.
再见啦 小伙子
- Bye, baby. - ‭Bye, Mom!
-宝贝再见 -妈妈再见
Gosh, I'm so happy for that kid.
天啊 我真为这孩子高兴
‭Yeah, we keep saying that.
是啊 我们一直这么说
I feel, uh, silly I got so invested
我觉得自己好傻啊
in modeling for some mall poster no one's ever gonna see.
为永远不会有人看到的商场海报投入灵魂
You want to feel better?
你想感觉好一些吗
I'll show you something that is gonna make me
我带你去看个东西 看完之后
look more pathetic than you do.
我保证会比你更显可悲
I think I said "silly," But, um...
我说的只是"傻"吧 但...
yeah, okay.
行啊
That was me 20 years ago.
那是我20年前拍的
That's amazing.
很棒啊
But what are you so upset about?
所以你不开心的原因是什么啊
You're just as beautiful now as you were then.
你现在还是跟当年一样美啊
Aww. I know.
我知道啦
It's just that it was a time in my life
只是我会想起那段时光
where I was out there hustling,
我曾在外面闯江湖
modeling, driving a taxi,
当模特 开出租
selling bacon-wrapped hot dogs outside a nightclub.
在夜店外面卖培根卷热狗
Seeing them taking it down made me feel like
看到他们把那广告拆下来
that version of me is gone forever.
令我感到那时的我要永远消失了
So that's why you wanted to start modeling again.
因此你又想要开始模特生涯
I just miss being passionate about something again.
我只是想念对某件事物很有激情的感觉
The way that you feel passionate about real estate.
就像你对房地产一样的激情
Mm. ‭You always seem, like, so alive,
你总是看起来很... 很有活力
making new deals, meeting new people.
做成新买卖 认识新的人
Have you ever thought about becoming a Realtor?
你有想过来当房地产中介吗
- Who hasn't? ‭- That's true.
-谁没想过啊 -这倒是真的
I bought a book one time to learn how to do it,
我有次曾买过一本书来学怎么做这行
but you know how it is.
但你也懂后来怎么样了
Sometimes in life, you just get stuck.
有时候人生就是会卡在一个瓶颈
I think you'd be great at it. Really.
我觉得你很适合这行呢 真的
I'd buy anything from you.
我会愿意买任何你卖的东西
I'm thinking about getting my chompers bleached,
我现在都在考虑去漂白我的牙了呢
and there's only half of you up there.
那还只是剩下一半的你的广告牌呢
- Really? - ‭Yeah.
-真的吗 -真的
It can be scary to ask yourself what's next.
问自己下一步该走向哪其实挺令人恐惧
All the doubts start to creep in.
心里会浮现所有对自己的质疑
Are people going to like me?
别人会喜欢我吗
Ooh, still hot.
还好烫[火辣]啊
Thank you!
谢谢夸奖
I throw a tractor tire around the backyard a couple days a week.
我每周都会找几天在后院健健身
Can I handle the challenge?
我能克服困难吗
代理副校长
副校长
Dude.
兄弟
学生辅导员
You can ask these questions forever,
你可以不停地对自己提出质疑
or you can just take the first step.
但你也可以踏出第一步
Here is your five-point checklist for any open house.
所有的房屋开放日都有这五点检查要素
Number one --
第一点
Sorry, professor.
抱歉 教授
Phil, honey. What are you doing here?
菲尔 亲爱的 你来这里做什么呢
Hey. I thought I'd surprise you and take you out to dinner.
我来给你个惊喜 顺便约你去吃晚饭嘛
Spontaneous. You know I like that.
突发奇想 你知道我就喜欢这样
Well, um, let me just make sure everybody's gone.
我先去确认一下大家都走了没
I'll grab my bag and lock up.
拿上我的包就可以锁门了
Awesome.
没问题
May I help you with your clothes?
我能对你的服装提供协助吗[帮你脱衣服]
I guess we are the only ones here.
看来这里真的只剩下我们了
Perhaps we'll start with the pants.
或许我们先从裤子开始吧
Normally, you like a little...
通常你都是喜欢...
...slow shirt unbuttoning,
慢慢解开衬衫扣子的
but I guess we... are cutting to the chase.
但看来今天我们... 要直捣黄龙啦
Dad. Are you still looking for a place to leave that butt?
爸 你还在找地方放你的屁股吗
It's so gross.
真的好恶心
There's nothing better for office comradery
论建立办公室情谊
than a practical joke.
没有比恶作剧更棒的方法了
It lifts people' spirits.
能振奋人心呢
Well played.
我输了