摩登家庭 第十季 Modern Family Season 10 第17集: The Wild

上映日期: 2,018

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 盖尔·曼库索 / 斯蒂文·莱维坦

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·


台词
Okay, folks, you might want to put on some sunscreen.
好了 同志们 你们可以考虑涂一下防晒霜
Up this high, the trees start to thin out.
这里海拔高 树木都开始变得稀疏了
Oh, this might be a good place for a picture.
这儿可能挺适合拍照的
Oh, let me go behind that rock.
容我去一下那块石头后面
I'll change into my next look.
我要换上我的下一套造型
Another one?
又一套
He has to. His Instagram follower demands it.
没办法 他照片分享网的粉丝要求的
Eagle!
老鹰
Oh, wait, false alarm.
不对 假警报
It's just a plastic bag in a tree.
只是树上的一个塑料袋
Eagle!
老鹰啊
Nope. Sorry.
不是 抱歉
Bag fell.
袋子掉下来了
Every winter,
每年冬天
I take a bird-watching trip with my buddies --
我都要和兄弟们一起来个观鸟之旅...
specifically to see a bald eagle.
专门去看白头鹰[美国国鸟]
So far, no luck.
目前为止 还没见到过
This year, my buddies bailed -- back spasm, cracked hip.
今年兄弟们来不了 不是背部抽筋 就是屁股开花
And I'm the idiot for installing a shower chair.
当初装淋浴防滑椅时 谁笑我白痴来着
I was all set to go solo,
我本打算一个人去
when those three tagalongs invited themselves.
结果这三个粘人精不请自来
They invaded my territory
他们像一群栗胸森莺一样
like a bunch of bay-breasted warblers.
侵入了我的领土
Darned if I didn't feel like a bay-breasted warbler
我难道感觉不到自己像一只栗胸森莺
horning in on Jay's trip, but Gloria made us go.
闯入杰的旅途吗 可歌洛莉亚非让我们来
She was worried about my dad
她很担心我爸
being out in the woods alone at his age,
这么大年纪了还一个人在林子里转悠
so she -- she gently nudged us to join him.
所以她轻轻地推了我们一把 让我们加入
Gloria, if my dad doesn't want us t--
歌洛莉亚 如果我爸不想让我们...
Hey, Dad, uh, whatcha doin' this weekend?
爸爸 你这周末要干什么去呀
- Ah, little nature trip. - Oh! Sounds like fun.
-小小的自然之旅 -听起来很有趣啊
- Count us in! ‭- Yes.
-带上我们吧 -没错
Actually, I was looking for a little alone time --
其实我本来打算独处一...
Hey! Am I the only one with bald eagles on the brain?
我是唯一一个脑子里想到白头鹰的人吗
You know what? I think in about 10 minutes,
你知道吗 我想大约10分钟后
the light's gonna be perfect
光线会很完美
for my "Afternoon Adventurer" look.
适合拍我的"下午冒险"造型
Okay, uh, before we head deeper into the woods,
好了 在我们走入森林更深处之前
I should warn you folks that there's been
我要警告你们 这片区域
several bear sightings in the area.
有着多次目击熊出没的记录
- So if you happen to have any food with you -- - Got it!
-如果你们恰好带了食物的话 -明白
I was going to say
我正想说
you can store it in this bear box... here.
你们可以存在防熊箱里... 就在这儿
Oh. Um, okay.
好的
Well, then, talk amongst yourselves.
那么 你们自己先聊会儿天
It could take me a while
我可能要花一会儿时间
to find where my manly heave sent that heavy --
才能找回被我阳刚之力丢远的沉重背包...
Ah! Here it is. Someone must've heaved it back.
在这儿呢 肯定是有人把它扔回来了
Thank you!
谢谢
家 庭
摩 登
第十季 第十七集
Hello!
有人吗
Oh, hey, Gloria. Thanks for coming.
歌洛莉亚 谢谢你能来
It's gonna be such a fun girls' night --
这个女生之夜肯定会很有趣的
drinking wine, planning the nursery.
喝着酒 规划着育儿室
Okay, I was going to surprise you,
好了 我本来是要给你惊喜的
but I can't wait anymore.
但我等不及了
It's a handmade mobile of great women in history!
这是个由历史上伟大女性组成的手工床铃
Eleanor Roosevelt,
埃莉诺·罗斯福[美总统罗斯福的夫人]
Rosa Parks!
罗莎·帕克斯[拒绝给白人让座的黑人女性]
I just hope it goes with the theme
我只希望它能契合
that Dylan wants for the room.
迪兰希望的房间主题
Are any of these women important in the fields
这些女性有没有在消防车
of fire trucks or unicorns?
或是独角兽方面有杰出成就的
How perfect is this?
这多完美啊
They delivered the crib,
他们送来了婴儿床
and I know just the crew of handy honeys
我知道在场刚好有一队手工美人们
to help me put it together.
会帮我把它组装起来的
Uh, not now, Mom. I've had the worst day.
现在不行 妈妈 我今天过得很糟糕
Me, too.
我也是
Quick, start crying.
快点 挤点泪出来
We need to derail her enthusiasm before she s--
我们得尽快浇灭她的热情 赶在...
Unh! Too late.
太晚了
She's dancing.
她已经开始跳了
Way to rock it, girlfriend!
太棒了 姐妹们
I cannot deny it anymore.
我无法再否认下去了
I am turning into a white woman.
我变得越来越像白种女人了
Is there a problem, girlfriends?
有什么问题吗 姐妹们
Spin class was canceled!
单车课程取消了
No!
不是吧
What are we gonna do with our day?
那我们今天要干什么呢
"When In Doubt...
"困惑时...
Brunch."
就吃早午餐"
Where's the nearest place that serves kale
最近的一处卖羽衣甘蓝
and also has a pun in its name?
并且店名里有双关语的地方在哪里
There's an Underground Kale-Road down the street!
这条街的尽头有一家地下甘蓝路餐厅
谐音地下铁路指十九世纪美国帮助非裔奴隶逃亡的秘密路线
- Let's go! - Thank God.
-我们走 -感谢上帝
I've gotten soft lately.
我最近变得软弱了
I think I've lost my Colombian edge.
我想我已经失去了哥伦比亚魂
I think we'll all feel better if we accomplish something.
我想如果我们做成一件事 就能振奋起来
Yes. Unlike Jay.
是啊 不像杰
He's been going on these hunting trips for 20 years,
他去这些打猎旅行已经有二十年了
and not once has he brought home a bald eagle!
而他一次也没有猎回白头鹰过
Oh, God.
天哪
Hendrix couldn't read music,
亨德里克斯[著名电吉他演奏者]不识谱
Shaq couldn't make free throws,
沙克[篮球明星]罚球很烂
and I have a little trouble visualizing space and scale.
而我想象空间与大小的能力很差
So, I think this closet design gives us everything we need
这个衣柜设计可以在紧凑的住宅空间中
in a tight, residential space.
提供我们所需的全部功能
Yeah. Very clever.
是啊 很巧妙
Take a walk-through.
演练一下
Does the flow make sense?
看看动线是不是合理
Well, um...
好吧
I would get out of the shower
我会在洗完澡后
and throw my clothes in the hamper here,
把衣服扔进这里的衣篮
pick out an outfit, and then get dressed right here.
拿一件衣服 然后在这里着装完毕
You just threw your clothes in the fireplace
你刚刚把你的衣服扔进了壁炉
and got dressed in front of the picture window.
然后在落地窗前穿好衣服
Well, you have your morning routine, Mia.
你有你早晨起床的方式 米娅
I have mine.
我也有我的嘛
All right, let's get this over with.
好了 早点弄完早点收工
Mom, where do we start?
妈妈 我们从哪儿开始呢
Maybe Mommy just needs some cougar juice!
也许老娘需要一点熟女汁[酒]
What's wrong with me?
我这是怎么了
Watch your step, folks.
大家注意脚下
Some of the terrain gets a little tricky
徒步走到这一段路的时候
on this part of the hike.
有的地形就不太好走了
Oh. Good. I thought I'd changed
真好 我还以为我换
into my "Remote Trailhead" look too soon.
"老林徒步王"装换早了
You okay, Dad? Want to stop and take a break?
你还行吗 爸 要不要停下来休息一会
No, no. I just want to stop and maybe see an eagle. ‭Ah.
不 不用 我就是想停下来看看有没有鹰
Everybody look.
大家看看吧
You've been doing this for 20 years and never seen one, huh?
你徒步了二十年都没见过一只鹰 是吗
Correct. Shh.
是的 嘘
Yeah. Mother Nature can be a real --
是啊 大自然有时候真的很...
Phil, stop talking!
菲尔 别说话了
You're scaring the eagles!
你把鹰都吓跑了
I'm sorry.
对不起
My bad. My bad.
我的错 我的错
Also sorry in my head.
我真诚地对不起
Oh, my God!
天啊 还在吵
Since we're talking again, uh, we should start heading back.
趁着大家在聊天 我们应该往回走了
It'll be dark soon.
天很快就会黑了
Or, if you'd like, there's a cabin just up this trail.
或者 你们愿意的话 这条小路前面有个小木屋
It's pretty run-down, but, uh,
有点陈旧 不过...
you're welcome to spend the night.
你们可以在那里过夜
I'll do it. ‭
我要去
Uh... ‭Are -- Are we sure that's a good idea?
这不太像个好主意啊
Um...wasn't there -- wasn't there mention of bears?
不是说有熊吗
No, you go home. I'll stay by myself.
不用 你回家吧 我自己留在这里
We -- We can't let him stay by himself.
我们不能让他一个人过夜
We told Gloria we'd keep him safe.
我们跟歌洛莉亚保证过他的安全
Yeah, if he's staying, we're staying.
是啊 要是他要留下来 我们也要留下来
Yeah. Yeah. What -- What's the worst that could happen?
好吧 好吧 最坏能坏到哪去呢
I mean, in the movies, when city folk stay overnight
想想电影里城里人在废弃的小木屋过夜
in abandoned cabins, things usually pan out okay.
通常都是平平安安 绝对没有杀人魔
Anyway, I'm gonna run ahead, see if they have any postcards
不管了 我要到前面去看看
up at this poorly guarded mental institution.
这个安保糟糕的精神病院有没有明信片
Damn it, I'm starving.
靠 我要饿死了
Nothing in here but an old bottle of whiskey.
这里除了一瓶旧威士忌什么都没有
Well, just try not to think about how hungry you are
不要一直想着你有多饿或者想着
or that Mitchell left the food in the bear box.
米奇尔把吃的都放在防熊箱里了
We all left the food in the --
我们都把食物放在...
Did you change again?
你又换衣服了吗
Yeah, I just threw a few things together
是啊 我又混搭了几件
to create a "Rustic Cabin" look.
来了一套"乡间小屋"装
Well, at least the bears won't be a concern.
至少不用担心熊的问题
Take it from a realtor.
信我这个房产经纪人的话
This Smith & Wiley lock is the gold standard.
这把史密斯威利锁可是上好品质
All right, I think we are now ready to put together
好了 我觉得我们现在可以拼起
our beautiful, L-shaped crib.
我们漂亮的L形婴儿床了
I-I-- This can't be right. One's way bigger.
这不对啊 一边比另一边大太多了
And what, my babies are supposed to come and go as they please,
而且 我的宝宝要像在中继之家一样
like they're in a halfway house?
想来就来想走就走吗
Um, so, a minor misreading of the diagram.
好吧 稍微有点看错了图纸
I think we're just gonna need to swap
我觉得我们把长边和短边
a short side for a long side.
换一下位置
And in the meantime, we bent that bracket.
同时再把支架折弯就可以了
Alex, would you mind running down to the hardware store?
艾丽克斯 你能去趟五金店吗
No way.
不可能
I don't trust myself to drive anymore.
我不相信自己的开车技术了
I signed up to be the student liaison
我报名当了一个来校访问学者的
for a visiting scholar on campus --
学生联络员
Sir Kenneth Penrose.
肯尼斯·彭罗斯爵士
Yes, that Sir Kenneth Penrose.
是的 大名鼎鼎的肯尼斯·彭罗斯爵士
Rock star of the microbiology world.
微生物学界的摇滚明星啊
I know you must hear this a lot,
我知道你可能都要听腻了
but you're the reason I took up snooker.
但你是我开始打台球的原因
Do you still play?
你还有打吗
I've had to lay down my cue lately.
最近我不得不放下台球
I've been working for months on an Ebola vaccine.
这几个月我一直在研究埃博拉疫苗
Just moments ago, I had a breakthrough.
就在刚刚 我有了重大突破
I can't wait to get to the lab and jot --
我简直等不及去实验室记下
Whoa! That was my chemistry advisor.
那是我的化学老师
I would not want to be known as the girl who --
我可不希望自己出名是因为
Sir Kenneth? ‭
肯尼斯爵士
W-Where am I?
我在哪
You don't know the shame.
你不知道有多羞愧
Now they won't let me drive around
现在除了像社会学教授那样的笨蛋
anyone smarter than a sociology professor.
他们谁都不让我载了
You know what else hit the ground today? Me.
你知道今天还有谁摔地上了吗 我
While I was bending over to pick up a doughnut off the floor!
就在我弯腰捡地板上的甜甜圈的时候
It was covered in dust balls, but I didn't care,
上面沾了好多灰 不过我不在乎
'cause I'm a disgusting pig monster.
因为我是个恶心的大猪怪
Oh, honey, please.
宝贝 别这么说
You're as --
你还是像
as beautiful as ever.
以前一样漂亮
Tell that to MugScan.
跟"脸部解锁"说去吧
MugScan is a face-recognition program we use at work.
那是我上班的地方用的一个人脸识别软件
It was really mean to me.
那软件对我很不友好
Good morning, Wayne.
早上好 韦恩
Wayne?
韦恩
I'm not Wayne, you jerk!
我才不是韦恩 你个大混蛋
You all right, Haley?
你没事吧 海莉
I'm fine, Wayne.
我没事 韦恩
One of my shoes flew off in the fall,
我摔倒的时候一只鞋掉了
and I couldn't put it back on because my feet were so swollen.
而我都穿不回去 因为我的脚太肿了
You know who makes a great shoe? New Balance.
你知道谁做鞋做得好吗 新百伦
I wear them when I power-walk to Neil Diamond.
我快走去看尼尔·戴蒙德[歌手]的时候就穿这鞋
Hey, Mom, is this divider a little too high?
妈 这个隔板是不是有点高
No. No, it's supposed to be that way.
没有啊 就应该是那样的
That way, if one twin wants to visit the other,
那样的话 要是一个宝宝想去看他的兄弟
he can just go, "Ah, doot, doot, doot. Hi!"
他就可以哒哒哒走过来"你好呀"
Couple thoughts.
我有点小想法
Pair of 7s. ‭Ace high.
对七 对A
Everyone, I'd like you to meet Don Lemon and RuPaul,
大家好 让你们见见多恩·莱蒙和鲁保罗
a pair of black queens. ‭
一对黑皇后[黑人骚基]
Mitchell, that's the third time you've wandered over there.
米奇尔 这都是你第三次晃荡到那儿了
What are you doing?
你在那干什么呢
- Nothing. - He's got something in his mouth.
-没什么 -他嘴里有东西
- Get him! come here! - No. No, I don't.
-抓住他 过来 -没 我没吃
- No, no, no! - Don't -- Don't fight. Don't --
-别 别 -别反抗
He has beef jerky!
他有牛肉干
That's the last of it. I swear.
这是最后一块了 我发誓
- He's lying. Check his pockets. - No, I --
-他撒谎 检查口袋 -没有 我
Stop it, stop it, stop it!
住手 住手
It's a family pack!
是家庭装的
I hope the jerky was as delicious as the irony.
我希望牛肉干[混蛋]的滋味和这讽刺一样足
- Give it! - ‭No, stop it! Stop it --
-交出来 -不 停手 停手
No!
Great. We're sending beef smoke signals
太好了 我们给满森林的熊
to a forest full of bears.
发了牛肉味信号
I'm sorry! I should've shared!
对不起 我本该分享的
Meanwhile, there is a sack full of hiking snacks
与此同时 有满满一背包的远足零食
just up the road!
就在路那头
Brie, prosciutto,
干酪 熏火腿
not to mention a wonderful maple-walnut butter
更别提还有歌洛莉亚在品趣志上推荐的
that Gloria recommended on her Pinterest board.
美味的枫糖核桃味黄油
That's it. I'm going out there.
我受够了 我要出去
Jay, wait!
杰 等等
If you see a bear, remember --
假如你看到了熊 记住
blind it with the flash on your phone,
用手机上的手电筒晃他
then lie on your back in a submissive pose.
然后用顺从的姿势躺到地上
I'm not doing that. If I come face-to-face with a bear,
我不会那么做的 假如我和熊迎头碰上
he better run!
它最好逃命去
It's darker out there --
外面好黑
Are you sure it was the best idea
你确定这主意好吗
to attach these before moving them upstairs?
不该先搬到楼上再组装吗
Yeah, I eyeballed the space. It really should fit easily.
我肉眼量过 应该能轻松通过
Except Alex apparently has steered us into a jam.
只不过艾丽克斯把我们"开进死胡同"了
Oh, that must be the pizza guy. Coming, Carl!
肯定是送披萨的 我来了 卡尔
You know the pizza guy's name?
你知道送披萨的叫什么吗
No!
才不知道
‭Hey, Haley.
海莉
Surprised to get an order from you before midnight.
真惊讶 你居然在午夜前点披萨
By the way, how'd you like
对了 上次那个
that custom shrimp and potato pizza?
特别定制的虾薯披萨好吃吗
I don't even know what you're talking about.
我根本不知道你在胡说什么
Loved it. Love you.
爱死了 也爱死你了
Gonna go get my wallet!
我去拿钱包
Mom?
Okay.
好吧
Alex, run downstairs and get a screwdriver.
艾丽克斯 快去楼下拿个螺丝刀
This whole thing will fit easily once we take the cribs apart.
等我们把栅栏拆了就能轻松通过了
We don't even know
我们根本不知道
if this thing is gonna fit through the bedroom door.
这东西能不能通过卧室门
Of course it will.
当然能通过
But if it makes you happy, I will measure again.
但要是能让你高兴 我再量一次
See?
You always record over my programs --
你总把我录的节目覆盖...
Okay, no, how about this?
好吧 这样如何
We all band together to form one big man
我们围在一起组成一个大块头
to go get the food.
去拿吃的
No! ‭How's that supposed to work?
不 这怎么能行得通
- Okay, back to back, um, and-and then link arms. - Come on.
-背靠背 胳膊挽起来 -拜托
- Okay. - ‭Turn around, give me your arm.
-好吧 -转过来 胳膊伸过来
See, look? Like this, all right?
瞧 就像这样 明白吗
Do we look big and scary?
我们看起来块头很大很可怕吧
Well, I think so.
我想是的
Let's move towards the door.
我们朝门移动
Okay.
Nice and easy.
慢慢来
We're just one big man out for a walk in the woods.
我们是一个要去林间散步的大块头
Scatter!
分散
We made it.
活下来了
Wait! Where's Mitchell?
等等 米奇尔在哪
He didn't make it!
他没成功逃脱
One of you two need to go get him!
你们两个人之一得去找他
I'm better staying here as a bear decoy.
我最好留在这做熊诱饵
I give off a natural musk.
我身上自带麝香味
Birds land on me all the time. Squirrels eat out of my hand.
总有鸟落在我身上 松鼠也从我手里吃食
Well, I can't go! Lily needs at least one living parent!
我不能去 不能让莉莉双父双亡
Wait!
等等
How do we know it's not the bear?
我们怎么知道来的不是熊
It's me!
是我
You just left me!
你们把我抛下了
Oh, you weren't out there that long.
你也没在外面多久
You didn't get the food?!
你没把吃的拿来吗
I almost was food!
我差点成吃的了
Okay, I-I wish I never even came on this stupid trip!
我真希望压根没参加这破远足
Well, who forced you?
谁逼你来的
Gloria!
歌洛莉亚
It's my delivery ankle.
我是靠这脚脖子送披萨的
It's really bad, dudes.
真的伤得很重 大伙
It was already weak from your paintball injury, Carl.
本来就有漆弹射击的旧伤 卡尔
I told you to get it checked out,
我叫你去看医生了
but you and doctors.
可你就是讨厌医生
Okay, fine, I know him a little.
好吧 我跟他有点交情
When it rains, it pours, huh?
祸不单行 对吧
Margaret-Anne left me this morning.
玛格利特安今早跟我分手了
Then my dad called me "Craig" on the phone again.
然后我爸又在电话里叫我"克雷格"
That's the name of his new son.
那是他新儿子的名字
Oh, God. Carl, can we at least drive you home?
天哪 卡尔 至少让我们送你回家吧
Not now.
还不行
I have 10 pizzas going to my enemies, the Sigmas.
我得给劲敌西格玛兄弟会送十张披萨
Those rich kids get their kicks taking advantage
那些富二代利用"30分钟没送到就免费"政策
of our "30 Minutes or it's Free" Policy --
占我们便宜 觉得很过瘾
use every trick in the book to slow me down.
用所有小把戏拖慢我的速度
Well, not tonight, Chad and Chip.
今晚没门 查德和奇普
Not to-
今晚没
The bone's got to be sticking out, right?
骨头肯定支出来了 对吗
No, it's not even swollen.
没有 肿都没肿
Look, Carl, we've all had rough days.
卡尔 我们今天都很不顺
Why don't you let us finish this delivery for you?
何不让我们帮你把披萨送到
Okay, but we've only got, like, 10 minutes.
好 可我们只剩十分钟了
Let's go, then! Come here.
那我们走 过来
- Okay. - ‭Come on!
-好 -快来
It'll feel good to get something right today.
今天完成一项任务会感觉很好的
Plus, I wouldn't mind
再说 我不介意
sticking it to some preppy, white jerks.
收拾几个兄弟会的白人小混蛋
Hey! That life comes with its own problems!
白人也有白人的烦恼
Don't be mad, Dad.
别生气 爸
Gloria was just worried about you.
歌洛莉亚也是担心你嘛
I don't want to talk about it.
我不想谈这事
Let's just have a drink and be quiet.
我们就静静地喝一杯吧
Lot of colors in that fire, huh?
那火焰呈现出很多种颜色 对吧
Red, green...
红 绿
- yellow, blue... - Geez. Okay.
-黄 蓝... -老天 够了
What is this yammering with you?! Seriously!
你怎么老是逼逼个不停 干嘛呢
I don't know.
我不知道
I guess I just don't like being alone with my own thoughts.
可能我不喜欢与自己的思绪独处吧
Maybe it's because I have a couple of grandkids on the way,
又或者是因为我有两个外孙快出生了
but now, if -- if things get too quiet,
但现在 如果周围太安静了
my mind goes to a dark place fast.
我就会开始胡思乱想
I start to worry about the people that I love
开始担心我爱的人
and all the bad things that could happen to them.
害怕他们会遭遇什么不测
I suppose talking... pushes those thoughts out
可能我内心觉得说话.... 会赶走那些念头
and helps me feel okay.
让我平静下来
I get it.
我懂
We can all spiral.
我们都有充满负能量的时候
But you can't talk your way out of it.
但你不能用说话来解决
You got to think your way out of it.
而是得通过思考
You know, find a happy place.
想象一个让自己快乐的地方
Try this.
试试这样
30 seconds, no talking. Go.
30秒 不说话 开始
- Buddy, where are you? - I'm back. Yep.
-兄弟 你神游到哪去了 -我回来了
You know, I think we can learn a lot from this guy,
我认为我们能从他身上学到很多
because it's not the --
因为我们害怕的
the bears out there that we're afraid of.
不是外面的熊
It's the bears in our lives --
而是我们生活中的"熊"
the fear that keeps us up at night.
让我们夜不能寐
And I think that's an interesting topic we can return to
这个话题很有趣 等我换上"炉边谈心"装后
once I change into my "Fireside Chat" Look.
我们再继续讨论
Another wardrobe change?
又去换衣服
You're like a sultan's bride on her wedding day.
你就像婚礼当天苏丹的新娘一样 换装个不停
Go ahead -- make fun of me.
继续说吧 取笑我吧
I like my outfits.
我喜欢我的衣服
Why so many?
为什么要那么多
Yeah, I guess when I was a kid,
我想是因为我小的时候
I realized I wasn't ever gonna fit in,
我发觉自己永远都无法融入大众
so I decided to stand out.
于是我决定引人注目
I embraced my flamboyance
我坦然接受了自己的浮夸骚气
to let the world know their insults won't hurt me.
好让世人知道 他们的羞辱伤不了我
Want to make a joke about me? Go ahead, 'cause I'm in on it.
想开我玩笑吗 尽管开 因为我会配合你
That's really beautiful, Cam.
说得真好 小卡
And you're not alone.
而且你不是一个人
Growing up, we were all insecure nerds in our own way.
谁小时候不是个没安全感的书呆呢
I was cool.
我小时候很酷
What? I thought we were sharing.
怎么了 我们不是在分享内心故事吗
That's very brave, Cam. That's good stuff.
你很勇敢 小卡 了不起
Are you crazy?! I shouldn't be the one driving!
你疯了吗 不该由我来开车
There is no time to argue! Just go! Come on!
没时间争论了 开就是了 快点
曼扎尼披萨店30分钟内送达 否则免费哦
Thanks so much for making me part of your group.
很感谢你们让我加入你们
It's not every day you make four new best friends.
不是每天都能交到四个新死党的
Why are they going so slow?!
他们为什么那么慢
I can't get past them!
我没法超过他们
This is one of Sigma's tactics.
这是西格玛兄弟会的策略之一
They track my location on the app
他们用手机应用追踪我所在地点
and send pledges to try to slow me down.
然后派想入会的人来拖慢我的速度
Ugh! What am I gonna do?!
我该怎么办
I'll handle this.
我来搞定
Carl, I'm taking your paintball guns!
卡尔 我要借用你的漆弹枪
Move! Or I move you!
让开 否则我打爆你们
I do still have my edge!
我的哥伦比亚魂果然还在
Yes!
好棒
Will you join my paintball team?
你能加入我的漆弹队伍吗
What is that?!
那是什么玩意
Field of Minions. Classic Sigmas.
小黄人雷区 典型的西格玛招数
Don't get distracted by the cuteness.
别被他们的可爱分心
We only have five minutes.
我们只剩下五分钟
Just go around them.
直接绕过它们
Oh, my God, I did it!
天啊 我做到了
And you're all still in the car!
你们都还在车上 没人被甩出去
Okay, now, we can't give them any reason to say
好了 我们不能让他们找到借口
that we didn't fill the order perfectly,
说披萨没按订单制作
so check the pizzas, make sure they didn't shift.
赶快检查披萨 确保配料没移位
Oh, Haley, I'm sure you're worrying about nothing --
海莉 我觉得你多虑了
Carl, do you have a pizza slicer?
卡尔 你有披萨切片器吗
Only the commemorative one I got for 10 years of service.
只有一个我为公司服务十年得到的纪念切片器
Give it to me. I have a vision.
给我 我脑中有画面了
Shaq and Hendrix never got past their blind spots.
奥尼尔和亨德里克斯从没能突破自身弱点
Maybe they didn't want it enough.
也许是因为他们不够渴望
Turning 9 pizzas into 10 was a simple matter
想把九个披萨变成十个 很简单
of removing one slice from each pie,
只需从每个披萨切走一片
then trimming off a V-shaped portion of pizza
然后将剩下的披萨
from each of the remaining slices,
每片都切走一小块V型
turning them from 36-degree angles to 40-degree angles,
把切片从36°角变为40°角
then putting together the 40-degree angles
再把所有40°角的切片
into nine slightly smaller pies.
拼成九个小了一圈的披萨
After that, one had only to repurpose
之后 再用一开始切出的九片披萨
the nine previously removed slices into a 10th pie.
拼出第十个披萨
And...10!
十个
It worked!
成功了
It really did.
真的成功了
I do have a visual brain.
我果然有图像式脑子
That was your thing?
这就是你纠结的事吗
I do not miss having white-people problems.
我真不怀念有白人烦恼
We're here! I did it!
到了 我成功了
We only have a minute to get the pizzas inside. Let's go!
得在一分钟之内把披萨送进屋 走吧
Oh, wait, wait, wait! Uh, the frat has a video doorbell.
等一下 等一下 兄弟会有可视门铃
If they see it's a delivery, they try to run out the clock.
他们如果看到是外卖 就会拖延到超时
I'll handle this.
我来搞定
Stay on that side.
靠那边站
Yeah?
什么事
Hi. Um...
你好
I go to U of A, and I'm super drunk.
我是A大的 人家醉得不行了
Is there a place where I can sober up for the night?
你们有地方借我醒酒过夜吗
At least my looks can still get me into a frat house.
至少老娘的脸还足够美艳 能进入兄弟会的房子
Okay, guys, go, go!
好了 各位 上啊
10 pizzas on time.
十个披萨准时送达
Pay up!
付钱
You guys with Carl?
你们跟卡尔是一伙的吗
We are Carl.
我们就是卡尔
Come on, hurry up! A bet's a bet!
来吧 快点 愿赌服输
I told you I could stand on one leg longer than you!
我就说我能比你们金鸡独立更久
You're the only one whose balance gets better
你是唯一一个喝完一大杯威士忌后
after drinking a jug of whiskey.
平衡感反而比喝之前更好的人
All right. My follower is gonna love this!
好啦 我的粉丝一定会喜欢这画面
Everybody say "Cheese!"
大家说"茄子"
- Cheese. - ‭Yes.
-茄子 -很好
Okay, now, that is how you build a brand.
好啦 这就是建立起自我品牌的方法
Well, I guess we should kill the rest of this whiskey.
看来我们应该继续把剩下的威士忌喝完
But then we'll have nothing to serve the murderers when they arrive.
那杀人魔来的时候我们请人家喝什么啊
You know, you joke,
虽然你漫不经心开玩笑
but you have a certain paranoia about you.
但你语气里暗藏着某种偏执妄想
What -- What's behind that?
这... 背后到底是什么原因呢
Well...
这个嘛...
Ooh! Are we about to hear about Mitchell's bear?
我们要听到米奇尔心中的"熊"了吗
Uh, okay. It -- It's, um...
好吧 其实是...
I've never told anyone this, but, uh,
我没有跟任何人说过 但是...
a fortune teller once predicted
有个算命师曾经预言
that I would not live to see my 46th winter.
我活不到46岁的冬天
Was that that kook that used to live next door to us?
是以前我们家隔壁的那个疯子吗
She's nuts.
她是神经病啊
She told your mother she was gonna win a Tony one day.
她还说过你妈有一天会赢托尼奖呢
美国剧场界最高荣誉
But she was right about a lot of other things.
但她也预言对了其他很多事情啊
She said that I'd become a lawyer.
她说我会变成律师
She said that I would marry a clown one day.
她还说我有一天会跟一个小丑结婚
Laughed a long time about that one.
当时听到我可是笑了好久
Why?
为什么要笑
Anyway, I-I guess my "bear"
总而言之 我内心的"熊"
is the fear of dying young.
大概就是害怕英年早逝吧
Uh, I mean, if that fortune teller's right,
如果那个算命师算得准
I only have three more years to live.
那我只剩三年能活了
Well, y-you know what? The way I see it,
你知道吗 按我来看
this little curse is actually a gift --
这个小小的诅咒是上天的礼物
a reason to live life to the fullest.
让你有理由充分享受人生
And have no regrets.
也不给自己留下遗憾
Okay, so we're all just accepting this 46-year thing as true?
行 大家都相信并接受我活不过46岁了
We've made our peace with it.
我们能理性看待它
And so should you.
你也应该这样
Why not just live your limited days
为什么不在你有限的日子里
with leaving nothing unsaid?
做到心中不藏着任何话
Tell the people who matter the most how you feel.
对你最在乎的人说出你的感受
I tell you and Lily I love you every single day.
我每天都跟你与莉莉说我爱你
True. What about Phil?
的确 那对菲尔呢
He did text me with a "Love ya" this morning.
他今天早上也有发短信给我说"爱尼"
Close enough.
也能算数
And your dad?
那你爸爸呢
Seriously?!
你不是吧
I just have a hard time saying that word to him.
对他开口说这个词很难嘛
Which is fine for the both of us.
我个人对此也没有意见
Okay, well, it sounds like
好吧 感觉起来
you might be uncomfortable with that word, too.
你也羞于说出这个词
No! I don't have a problem with it. I use it all the time.
才没有 我对这词没任何问题 我整天说
I'm always saying I love things. I --
我整天都有在说我爱什么东西
I love the feel of toasty socks out of the microwave.
我爱穿上用微波炉热过的温暖袜子
I love the far-off sound of a train whistle.
我爱听远方火车汽笛的声音
You know, "Ooh! What adventure have they gotten off to?"
会感觉"他们又去哪里冒险啦"
I -- I love watching a baby stretch.
我还爱看婴儿伸懒腰
Those are all good things in your life, Jay, but...
杰 这些都是你生活中的美好事物 但...
what's your "bear"?
你的"熊"是什么
I don't have one.
我没有啊
Oh, come on! We all told you ours.
别这样 我们都说出自己的了
Now, when you get to my age,
等你们活到我这个岁数
there are less things that you're afraid of.
人生中能让你害怕的事物就越来越少了
Except maybe...
除了或许...
being a burden to your family.
自己变成家人的累赘
Which is starting already,
而这已经开始发生
because Gloria forced you guys to babysit me,
因为歌洛莉亚逼你们来照顾我
which is why I wanted to spend the night here
这也是为何我执意要在此过夜
so I could prove I'm not some...frail old man.
好证明自己不是... 脆弱的糟老头
But, if I'm being honest,
但如果要我实话实说
that hike gets tougher for me every year.
每年爬上来都感觉比前一年更累了
And I was relieved that I didn't have to do it alone.
我今年也庆幸我不是自己一个人爬
Oh, Dad.
老爸
You could never be a burden.
你永远不会是累赘
Yeah, you're the one who's always taking care of all of us.
对啊 你才是总是照顾着我们大家的人
We'd love the chance to return the favor.
我们很乐意有机会照顾你
All right. It's getting late.
好啦 时间晚了
This mountain pimp outfit's making me sweat.
这个山地皮条客装穿到我流汗
Let's -- Let's get some rest.
大家... 大家都去睡了吧
Good night.
晚安
Good night. I'll take the sofa.
晚安啦 我睡沙发
Sure you're gonna be okay out here?
你确定你自己睡这里没问题吗
- Yeah, I'll be fine. - ‭Okay.
-当然啦 我肯定没事 -好
Do -- Do you want me to grab you an extra blanket or something?
你... 你要不要我帮你多拿条被子还什么
No, no. I'll get something if I need it.
不 不用了 我需要会自己去拿
Okay. Well...
好吧 那...
Good night.
晚安啦
I know.
我都知道
All right, Dad. We're ready to go.
好啦 老爸 我们准备好走了
Yeah, Jay.
对啊 杰
I'm sorry you didn't see a bald eagle this time around.
很遗憾你这次又没有看到白头鹰
Y-Yeah. It's too bad.
是啊 太遗憾了
I guess we'll all have to come back here again next year.
看来我们只能明年再一起回来碰运气了
Yeah.
好啊
I don't know about you guys, but I slept great.
我不知道你们怎么样 但我睡得好香
That cot was so soft. I'm not always a sound sleeper.
那个小床好软 我平常很容易睡不好
Been meaning to try that melatonin.
本来还一直很想去试试吃褪黑素
I hear it's a real game-changer.
我听说超级有效呢
And you can get it anywhere nowadays.
现在那东西好像到处都有卖
Has it always been over-the-counter?
那东西一直都是非处方药[柜台后]吗
Kind of a funny phrase, isn't it -- "Over-the-counter"?
这词挺有意思的对吧 "柜台后"