摩登家庭 第十季 Modern Family Season 10 第19集: YesWoman

上映日期: 2,018

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 盖尔·曼库索 / 斯蒂文·莱维坦

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·


台词
Shh! You'll wake Lily.
小声点 你会吵到莉莉
How drunk are you?
你是有多醉啊
I told you three times she's on that school trip.
我跟你说三次她出去校外旅行了
I'd feel more confident
你要是不这么小声说
- if you weren't also whispering. - Fair point.
-你的话会更有说服力一点 -你说得合理
Are -- Are you wearing lipstick?
你... 你擦了口红吗
‭Am I wearing nail polish?
我是擦了指甲油吗
So, we kind of had a crazy night out.
我们算是出去疯了一晚
It started off at this little
本来一开始只是
under-the-radar speakeasy I heard about.
去一家我听人说的隐秘地下酒吧
Uh, he Googled "Cool bars near me."
他网上搜了"我家附近的酷酒吧"
Anyway, we met a group of 20-somethings
反正呢 我们遇到了一帮20岁小年轻
that took a shine to us.
大家相谈甚欢
They introduced us to the world of underground parties
他们带我们进入了地下派对
and $18 cocktails.
与一杯鸡尾酒要18块的世界
- It was so burnt. ‭- Lit.
-真的是太烧了 -是燃
- Lit. - ‭Lit.
-太燃 -燃
I don't even remember half these bars.
我们去的这些酒吧 有半数我都记不得了
Did we go to a hospital last night?
我们昨晚还去了医院吗
Okay, Grandma Tucker's hangover remedy --
塔克奶奶的招牌解宿醉秘方
put a pat of butter underneath your tongue, tip your head back,
在你的舌下放小块黄油 把脖子往后仰
and I'll pour the hot sauce up your nose.
我把辣酱往你鼻子灌
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
等等等等
- That's a group text from Binker. - ‭What?
-是宾克发来的群短信 -什么
- Mm-hmm. ‭- Oh, my gosh.
-是的 -天啊
The gang wants to get back together and party tonight.
大伙们今晚还想再一起去派对呢
And you said we'd never hear from them
你还说他们看到我们
after they saw us in that horrible Denny's lighting.
在丹尼酒吧灯光下的丑样后 就会断绝联系
Okay, we have to play this exactly right --
我们的回应得百分百恰到好处
We don't want to come off too eager,
不能显得自己死命想巴着人家
but we also want to let 'em know we're down to mob.
但又得让他们知道我们愿意一起嗨
- Oh, my God. - ‭Cam, you know our rule,
-要亲命了 -小卡 你知道我们的规矩
we never go out two nights in a row.
绝对不连续两晚出去野
- Yeah, I know, but this is... - We're already pushing it
-我知道 但这是... -我们今晚还要去
by going to that lecture series tonight.
听系列讲座呢 这已经算很勉强了
What lecture series?
什么系列讲座
Alan Greenspan's top aide.
美储联主席首席助手的讲座
We bought the season pass so we'd get premium seating
我们买了季票 因为我们想要最好的座位
to "A Night of Sarcasm with Fran Lebowitz."
去听"幽默作家弗兰·拉伯维治的讽刺之夜"
Oh, everyone's in.
大家都要去呢
Look at all those thumbs of colors. They're so woke.
还用了不同肤色竖拇指 年轻人就是反歧视
"We're out. Catch you next time"?
"我们不去 下次见"
Mitchell.
米奇尔
How could you?
你怎么可以这样
Storm out softly. You'll wake Lily.
小声点暴走 别吵醒莉莉了
家 庭
摩 登
第十季 第十九集
Morning, honey. Don't mind all the Caltech gear.
早啊 老婆 别在意我这一身加州理工装备
I figured I'd surprise Alex at school and take her to lunch.
我只是想给艾丽克斯惊喜 带她去吃午饭
Surprise her? At the end of the semester?
学期末这时候你要去给她惊喜吗
Honey, she's probably in the middle of exams.
亲爱的 她应该在忙于各种期末考之中吧
She's gonna be...
她绝对会...
thrilled.
欣喜若狂
Have you ever seen a video of yourself
你有看过自己的录像 是你在观看时
wearing something you didn't realize was unflattering?
才发现自己当时没意识到穿着有多难看吗
Well, that happened to me recently, and...
我最近有了这样的经验
it was my personality.
而难看的是我的性格
For centuries, man has longed to rule the air
千百年来 人类一直渴望能像
like the majestic squirrel.
伟大的飞鼠般掌握腾空的能力
The wait ends today.
一切将在今日终止
Nope.
不行
Uh, but what if we --
那如果我们...
- Doesn't matter. - Hey, Mom.
-一样没卵用 -妈
I can pull this off, right?
我戴这个是好看的对吧
Let me. ‭Oh.
让我来帮你调整
Ah, we're not home.
我们不在家
I made a decision to be less negative.
我决定要不那么负面
It's the new me, the girl who says "Yes."
这是崭新的我 对一切都说"好"的女人
Friend went to Mexico for the weekend.
朋友周末去墨西哥玩 在帮忙看
I'm finding the level.
我还在拿捏那个平衡点
Crockett and Tubbs, you look snazzy.
好帅啊 像《迈阿密风云》里似的
Thanks... I think.
谢谢... 你的话是称赞吧
I'm trying to step up my game.
我在试着打扮自己
I started seeing someone from work.
我最近开始跟工作认识的一个人交往
Oh, honey. I don't know
亲爱的 我觉得呢
if I think that's such a good idea that --
跟工作认识的人交往感觉不太...
Never mind. I approve.
没事没事 我赞成
I doubt my mom would approve if she knew the whole story.
如果我妈知道事情的全部 我不信她会同意
Pool boy.
泳池工
I need more towels.
我这里需要新毛巾
Right away, ma'am.
女士 马上来
Done. I just approved another design.
搞定 我刚同意了另一个设计
The most luxurious dog bed yet.
世界上最豪华的狗窝
I call it...
我称它为...
The Top of the Bark.
狗窝之巅
Ah, that's nice that you can run your new company at home
真好啊 你现在可以在家营运新公司
in clothes that you can only wear at home.
就能穿着只能在家穿的衣服了
When men get to a certain age,
当男人到了某个年龄后
they stop trying.
他们就不再在乎外表
I've seen it before.
我看过这情况了
First, it starts with the clothes,
先从服装开始
then the body, then the brain.
然后是身材 最后是脑子
But I can't say anything to Jay,
但我不能跟杰提任何一点意见
because when it comes to his appearance,
因为每当提到他的外表问题
he's very sensitive.
他总是格外敏感
Mi amor, I'm back.
亲爱的 我回来啦
Welcome home. ‭
欢迎回来
You hate it, right?
你不喜欢 对吧
I'll shave it. It's a joke.
我去剃了 就是个笑话
Stupid!
我个傻逼
Good dawning, all.
日安 各位
What am I looking at?
我眼前的这是什么
Is the vet worried you're gonna bite yourself?
兽医担心你会咬自己吗
It's a traditional Tudor collar.
这是传统的都铎式领子
I'm pledging my school's Elizabethan Society,
我请求加入学校的伊丽莎白时代社团
and I have to wear this as a hazing ritual.
这是他们要求的入团羞辱仪式
I don't hate it.
我觉得还行啊
I think it makes your head
我觉得这让你的脑袋看起来
look like one of those fancy cookies.
像是那种高档饼干之类的
I also have to recite several Shakespearean monologues
我还得背诵几段莎士比亚的独白
and festoon our dining hall with some bawdy bunting.
然后给学校食堂加一点下流装饰
What happened to hazing?
这年代的羞辱仪式是怎么回事
It used to be macho stuff, you know,
以前都是很爷们的玩法 你懂的
like making a guy drink a shot out of your belly button
比如让人从你的肚脐眼喝烈酒
大学兄弟会的入会仪式常伴有羞辱性质的挑战但通常不会有杰说的那么基味十足
or passing an orange around only using your butt cheeks.
或者是大家屁股夹着橘子传来传去
Look. It's one of the most selective groups on campus.
这可是学校里最难进的社团之一
I don't want to jinx it,
我不想话说太早触自己霉头
but a week from now, I could be learning
但一周之后 我很有可能就在学习
the steps of the secret minuet.
秘密小步舞曲的舞步了呢
This is what happens when you eliminate campus bullying.
这就是学校消灭校园霸凌的后果
Jay, what do you think?
杰 你觉得如何
We'll go out for a nice lunch,
我们去好餐厅吃顿午饭
dress up a little bit.
稍微打扮一下
This feels like an attack.
这感觉是在攻击我啊
All right, that's as gentle as I can go,
我最多也只能婉转到这个地步了
I am Colombian, not Canadian.
我是哥伦比亚人 不是加拿大人
I got an e-mail from the club.
我刚收到俱乐部寄来的电邮
The older players have taken over the driving range
一些老人要在周间早晨占用我们的高球练习场
for bocce weekday mornings.
来练习室外地滚球
So what? You can play golf later.
那又怎么样啦 你们可以晚点再打高尔夫啊
No, we got a whole group --
不行 我们有一个群组
the Sunrise Swingers.
叫日出挥杆手
We meet there at 6:00, hit a bucket.
我们每天6点见面 打一桶球
One of the gals is making up tank tops.
群组里的一个女成员还要做背心制服呢
Oh, yay. More casual clothes.
太好了 更多休闲服
No, I'm going down there,
这样不行 我要去俱乐部
get the support of some of the other golfers.
寻求其他高球手的支持
- Maybe I can fight this thing. - Okay, good idea,
-或许我们还能抢回时间段 -好主意啊
but don't forget that there is a dress code at the club.
但别忘了俱乐部有着装要求啊
They probably already overturned it.
他们很可能已经撤销这规定了
Ah, the whole place went to hell
自从他们不再往小便斗里放冰块
when they stopped putting ice in the urinals.
那地方就一落千丈了
There's just something about destroying a thing
在尿尿时摧毁某样东西
while you're taking a pee
让人有种成就感
that makes a man feel like a man.
那令男人觉得自己雄风不减
Oh, well, hello there.
你好啊
- Uh, Dad. What are you doing here? - ‭Hi.
-爸爸 你怎么来啦 -你好
I thought I'd take you to lunch.
我想带你去吃午饭
It wasn't just about lunch.
我不只是为了吃午饭
Of my three kids, I've always felt least connected with Alex.
在三个孩子中 我一直觉得跟艾丽克斯最不亲近
And I'm afraid that the distance between us
我担心我俩之间的距离
might grow after she graduates.
在她毕业后会越拉越远
Wow. Graduates?
天啊 她快毕业了
It was just, like, 10 years ago
不过短短十年前
when she took her first college course.
她才第一次上大学课程
I really wish you would've called.
你应该先打电话说一声的
I can't go to lunch today. I'm late for...
我今天去不了吃午饭 我快迟到了
开普勒奖
- an event. - ‭Is that why you're all dressed up?
-要参加个活动 -所以你打扮得这么漂亮吗
Yeah. But it's no big deal.
对 不过没什么大不了的
B-T-dubs, have you seen your school paper?
对了 你看你们校报了吗
Apparently, your valedictorian is a chimp.
你们毕业致辞的学生代表居然是只黑猩猩
How is that not bigger news?
这种大新闻怎么没上头条
It's a fake paper, Dad.
这是假报纸 爸爸
It's senior prank week.
这周是毕业生恶作剧周
Oh. I wish I'd known that
真希望我早点知道
before I sent your mom this text.
但我已经给你妈发了这条短信
"It's starting. Hide the bananas."
"猩猩开始进化了 快把香蕉藏好"
- Seriously?! - ‭The Kepler Award?
-闹哪样 -开普勒奖
Is this where you're going,
你就是要去参加这个吗
'cause it looks like it's a big deal?
看起来是很重要的奖项啊
It's just a boring reception for finalists.
只是给决赛选手办的无聊欢迎会
Well, I love a good reception.
我就喜欢欢迎会
What time are we expected?
几点开始
Oh, I don't think I'm allowed to bring guests.
我应该不能带嘉宾入场
Says here, "Families welcome."
这里写着"欢迎学生家属出席"
But I didn't RSVP.
但我当时没回复要带
Says here, "Walk-ins encouraged."
这里写着"不必预约"
What an informative flyer.
这传单的信息量真足
Awesome. Let's do this.
太棒了 我们去吧
Yoga, right?
瑜伽这玩意啊
No winners, no losers,
没有赢家 也没有输家
no "Who's best?"
没有"谁最优秀"
You want me to tell you that you are the only one
你想要我告诉你 你是唯一一个
that didn't need help from the teacher?
不需要老师帮助的人吗
Was I?
真的吗
- Janice. Hi. - Hi.
-詹妮丝 你好 -你好啊
This is Claire, my husband's daughter.
这位是克莱尔 我先生的女儿
- Hi. - Hi.
-你好 -你好
So, that makes Gloria kind of like your stepmother.
那歌洛莉亚应该算是你的继母 对吧
Yeah, we don't do that.
对 但我们不搞这一套
Um, anyways,
话说
how is your new boyfriend?
你的新男友怎么样
Pretty great.
很好
I do feel a little awkward
不过我对于我俩的年龄差
about the age difference, though.
是感到有些尴尬啦
Ooh, which way are we talking?
怎么个尴尬法
He's, uh, in his early 20s.
他...才20岁出头
Noice!
爽爆了
Isn't that embarrassing?
差那么多不会尴尬吗
No. I say go for it.
才不会 勇敢去爱
Ooh, I like this new Claire
我喜欢这个新克莱尔
that says "Yes" to things.
她不会对每件事都持反对意见
Before, you would be like, uh...
换做以前 你会...
what is the word for grouchy?
形容令人不爽怎么说来着
I don't think it matters now.
现在这已经不重要了
Early 20s, huh.
20岁出头小鲜肉啊
Well, you're still beating gravity at that point.
在那年纪 还没被地心引力打败
I bet everything is right where it should be.
所有部位一定都在该在的地方 没变形
- Oh, yes. - Yeah.
-没错 -是的
Check out this selfie he sent of his abs.
看看他给我发的腹肌自拍
Damn!
It's so nice to be with someone who takes care of himself,
跟注重自己外表的人在一起真好
not like the guys my age.
不像我这年纪的男人 不修边幅
Tell me about it.
可不是嘛
Jay's starting to give up a little bit.
杰开始有点不在意了
You know, in the way that he's dressing.
从他穿的衣服就能看出来
Why don't you bring your guy by the house to remind Jay
不如你把男友带来我家 提醒一下杰
that women like a man that make a little effort.
女人喜欢努力维持外表的男人
- Um, well, we're free later today, if that works. - Perfect.
-我们今天有空 方便吗 -太棒了
And, Claire, you come, too, so that you help me
克莱尔 你也来 你就能帮我
nudge Jay in the right direction.
把杰推往正确的方向
Well, I wouldn't want my first "No"
我可不希望我的第一次"拒绝"
- to be to my stepmother. - I said we're not doing that.
-是对我继母说的 -不是说了不搞这一套吗
Cam, hurry!
小卡 快点
If we get there early enough,
我们到得够早的话
we get to submit a question about Greenspan.
就能提交一个关于美储联主席的问题
I got a doozy about stag-flation.
我有个关于滞胀的好问题
- Just hear me out. - You...
-听我说完 -你
- We decided... - No, you decided.
-我们决定好了的 -不 是你决定好了
And, Mitchell, we had so much fun last night.
而且米奇尔 我们昨晚玩得那么开心
Lily's gone for one more night.
莉莉还有一晚才回来
Let's go out! Come on. Have some fun.
咱们出去吧 走啦 找点乐子嘛
And break our two-night-in-a-row rule?
打破我们的"连续两晚"约定吗
No, no. I don't think so.
才不 绝不 我不要
Okay, you slept two hours last night.
得了 你昨晚才睡了两个小时
You know you hit a wall when you get overtired.
你知道当你太累时会撞墙上吧
- It's very intense. - You know what I think this is?
-可不是闹着玩的 -你知道我怎么想吗
I think you're worried that you can't keep up
我觉得你在担心自己跟不上
with me and my youthful spirit.
我和我的青春活力
The other day, you called a refrigerator an icebox.
那天你还管冰箱叫冰盒子来着
That's not old, that's country cute.
那才不老 那叫乡村风情
- Okay. - Let's face it. You were born 50,
-行吧 -面对现实吧 你生来老成
and I've always been young at heart.
而我却在内心永葆青春
And you know what? Maybe that's what attracted you
你知道吗 也许这就是我们初次见面时
to me in the first place... my boyish charm.
我吸引你的原因... 我的少年魅力
And you were an older, seasoned man who came and...
而你则是个成熟沧桑的男人 来到我身边...
seduced me, Mr. Robinson.
引诱我 罗宾逊先生
1967年电影《毕业生》中罗宾逊太太诱引年轻小伙的经典桥段
Okay, yeah, that's a youthful reference.
好 行 这真是个"新潮"的比喻
You should trot that out with your new friends.
你该和你的新朋友炫耀一下
Cam, this is so you, okay?
小卡 你每次都是这样
You're running yourself ragged
你把自己累垮了
trying to remain young.
就为了证明自己还年轻
I mean, there's nothing wrong with accepting the fact
我是说 接受自己变老了一点点这个事实
that you're getting a little older.
没什么不好的
Unless you're admitting it too soon.
除非你承认得太早
You don't want to look up one day and think,
你不会想某天一拍脑袋想
"Oh, what did I forget to do?
"我是不是忘了什么事"
"Oh, yeah. Live."
"没错 享受生活"
Well, you know what? If you need me,
行了 如果你要找我的话
I'm gonna be pre-gaming in Binker's loft in...
我会在宾克家的暖身派对 就在...
an abandoned cannery
一个废弃的罐头厂
in the old pickle district.
老泡菜街区那里
Sounds drafty.
感觉他家通风就很棒
Nice roll.
好球
The bocce situation was worse than I feared.
地滚球的战局比我害怕的还要糟糕
I had to get the range back
我得把场地夺回到
in the hands of the Sunrise Swingers.
日出挥杆手的手中
Listen, I, uh, got to be discreet.
听我说 这事别张扬
Uh, I'm sort of behind enemy lines here.
我似乎深入敌后了
But, uh, if I'm not mistaken,
但是如果我没搞错的话
you're a fellow, uh,
你也是我们的一员
- "Swinger." - Excuse me?
-挥杆手[换妻俱乐部] -你说什么
No, no, it's okay. I'm cool. It's just that I, uh...
没事没事 我理解 只是...
I'm trying to get something started here.
我在试着搞点事情
I mean, uh, of course we have to meet in secrecy,
我是说 毫无疑问我们得秘密见面
but I don't mind hosting at my house.
但我也不介意在我家举办
- Are you actually suggesting... - Lady, wake up.
-你不会真的在... -夫人 醒醒吧
Our way of life is under attack.
我们的生活方式正在遭袭
Pretty soon, there won't be enough of us
很快 我们人都凑不够一场
for a decent foursome.
完整的四人对抗赛[性爱]了
I have to go.
我得走了
Okay. Well, just think about it.
好吧 考虑一下我说的话
- That's all. Just think about it. - Okay.
-就这样 你考虑考虑吧 -好
- Worth a shot, huh? - What?
-值得一试 是吧 -什么
No, that's not what I meant.
我才不是这个意思
Oh, that's what you bocce players are about, huh?
这就是你们地滚球玩家所关心的吗
You find something nice, and you ruin it.
发现什么好的 就要毁掉它
That's Dr. Stieglitz.
那是施蒂格利茨博士
He makes the final decision on the award.
他有这个奖项赢家的最后决定权
He's brilliant and scary and impossible to impress.
他聪明又吓人 令人过目难忘
Hey, I know this is your dad talking,
我知道这话听起来像老爸卖瓜
but you're pretty brilliant and scary
但你自己也很聪明又吓人
and impossible yourself.
令人过目难忘啊
Okay. I've made an appearance.
好吧 我已经露过面了
- I think we can go. - Come on, now, Alex.
-我们应该可以走了 -别这样 艾丽克斯
This is a party in your honor,
这是为你举办的派对
and you're here with your own personal cheerleader.
况且你还带着你私人的啦啦队长
- Dad, I just... - I know how to pump up an academic crowd.
-爸爸 我只是... -我知道怎么激励一群学者
I had to cheer for the debate team once.
我还激励过一个辩论队呢
"Be persuasive, B-E persuasive."
"要有说服力 要啊要有说服力"
- "B-E P-E-R-S... " - That's enough.
-"要啊要啊..." -够了
"Damn. Might as well ask Schrodinger's cat."
"妈的 干脆去问薛定谔的猫得了"
Pets.
宠物啊
I once had a macaw that could use a remote control.
我曾经养过一只能用遥控器的金刚鹦鹉
Watched a lot of cable. You'd think, uh...
成天看有线电视 你也许会想...
You'd think Animal Planet, but it was mostly Cinemax.
它会看动物星球 但它主要看的是电影频道
I'm Alex's dad.
我是艾丽克斯的爸爸
Alex, get in here.
艾丽克斯 过来这里
Actually, I was referring to a thought experiment
实际上 我刚才指的是一个思维实验
concerning a paradox in quantum mechanics.
关于量子力学中的一个悖论
Yes, quite, quite.
是啊 妙哉妙哉
Where are you all from originally?
你们都是哪里人啊
It was so embarrassing.
太让人尴尬了
Professor Stieglitz is a genius.
施蒂格利茨教授是个天才
He doesn't fall for people who pretend to understand him
他才不会喜欢说着"妙哉妙哉"
by saying things like "Quite, quite,"
来假装听得懂他的话的人
or, "Indeed," or...
或者"确实如此" 或者...
Touche, my good man!
有道理啊 兄弟
But seriously, I-I have a science question
不过说真的 我有个科学问题
- I've always wondered about. - Uh, maybe keep wondering.
-我总是想不清楚 -要不就再想想
Would there be a safe amount of helium you could give a baby
多少量的氦气能安全地让婴儿
that would lift it off the ground?
从地面微微飘起呢
What?
什么
Oh. I don't want it to float away.
我不想让他飘走
I-I just want it to have fun.
我只想让他玩得开心
Can we...
我们能...
Could you do me a favor?
你能帮我个忙吗
I'm having a package delivered to my dorm room,
我今天有包裹要送到我宿舍
and someone needs to be there to sign for it.
需要有人留在那里签收
Can't your roommate do it?
你室友做不了吗
No. She got deported.
不行 她被驱逐出境了
I thought she was from Arkansas.
她不是从阿肯色州来的吗
Yeah, but her parents were... traitors.
是啊 但是她的父母是...卖国贼
- Beth and Allen? - Don't feel bad.
-贝丝和艾伦 -别难过
We all fell for it.
我们都被骗了
So you want me to go back to your dorm room
所以你想让我回你的宿舍
and sit and wait for a package?
坐着等一个包裹吗
Yes.
没错
Oh, sh-shoot, honey. I...
糟糕 宝贝 我...
I have a delivery coming back to the house, too, so...
家里也有一个包裹要等我去收 所以...
I should run.
我得赶紧去了
- Well, if you have to. - Yeah. I'm so sorry.
-如果你必需得回去的话 行 -是的 我很抱歉
But, hey, good luck, okay?
不过祝你好运 好吗
Bye, Dad.
再见 爸爸
Uh, did I seem a little...
我看起来是不是有点...
Zero Kelvin? Cold. Yeah.
过于无情 冷漠 没错
So you think I was...
所以你觉得我
Like the sum of a group of numbers divided by
就像一组数的总和除以
the number of those numbers? Mean.
这组数的数量 平均数[刻薄]
This is why no one wants to code with you, Tina.
怪不得没人愿意跟你一起编码 蒂娜
Hey. How in the world did you find me?
你是怎么找到我的
You know that app you can put on kids' phones to track them?
你知道那个可以安在孩子手机上的定位软件吧
You put one on my phone after I surprised you today?
我给了你个惊喜 你就在我手机上安这个
Don't make me feel worse than I already do.
别说了 我已经很内疚了
Wait a minute. You won?!
等等 你赢了
Congratulations!
恭喜你
Please don't be happy for me. I can't take it.
不用这样为我高兴 我受之有愧
I was such a jerk to you.
我对你太过分了
No, honey, I get it. I, uh...
没有 宝贝 我理解
I know I can be embarrassing. I...
我知道我让你尴尬了
I just get nervous around smart people.
在聪明人身边我就是会紧张
Sometimes even you.
有的时候对你也是
The first time I ever said "Quite, quite"
我第一次说"妙哉妙哉"的时候
was when you were 6 years old and you just told me
是你六岁那年 就在你跟我解释了
about how plants make carbon dioxide.
植物是怎么产生二氧化碳之后
This may surprise you, but...
你可能不相信 但是
sometimes I wish I was more like you,
有的时候我希望我能更像你
the way you're always able to enjoy life.
你总是能享受生活
Believe it or not, I felt the same way about my dad.
不管你信不信 我对我爸爸也是这种感觉
I'm a... I'm a pessimist compared to him.
我其实 跟他比是个悲观主义者
And his dad actually suffered
而他的父亲因为笑太多
from a smile-induced hernia.
得了疝气
It's prank week,
这是恶作剧周
and I spent the whole time in the library.
我却全程待在图书馆
Sometimes I feel like I just went through
有的时候我感觉自己只是经历了
the four best years of my life,
本应该是生命中最美好的四年
only I forgot to make them
而没有让这四年
the four best years of my life.
成为我生命中最美好的回忆
Well, college isn't over.
大学还没结束呢
And I just may be able to help you
我可能能帮你弥补一下
make up for a little lost time.
逝去的一些时光
Hot Wing Trivia's about to start.
辣翅智力赛要开始了
I have you guys registered as "The Dunphys"?
我给你们登记的队名叫"邓菲队"
How did you...?
你怎么
You knew I was coming?
你知道我要来
Let's not forget where you learned about that tracking app.
别忘了你是从哪知道的那个定位软件
And there's one tiny change.
还有一点小变动
We're actually the MacDunphys.
我们的队名叫无敌邓菲
Only my dad would think that a trivia game...
只有我爸爸会认为这种冷知识竞赛
The Triangle Shirtwaist Fire.
纽约三角内衣工厂火灾
...where you balance hats on your head,
比赛的时候在头上顶帽子
drink beer as a reward...
赢了要喝啤酒
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
卡里姆·阿卜杜·贾巴尔[著名篮球明星]
- - ...and eat hot wings as a punishment...
输了要吃辣翅
Millard Fillmore!
米勒德·菲尔莫尔[总统]
...needed that one last twist of a Scottish accent.
...最后还要来点苏格兰口音
Dopey, Sneezy...
糊涂蛋 喷嚏精
and Grumpy?
生气鬼[白雪公主小矮人]
Whoever said the most important thing in life
有人说生活中最重要的事
is winning awards...
就是拿奖
...wasn't all wrong.
他说的也不无道理
I still remember the day Mr. Greenspan
我还记得格林斯潘先生
coined the term "Irrational exuberance."
提出"非理性繁荣"这个词的那天
He had taken a longer than usual tub
他洗了个比平常的都久的澡
and, as he sat in the soapy water...
当他坐在泡泡浴中的时候
I had made a mistake.
我犯了个错
Cam was off on an adventure
小卡踏上了一段冒险
while I sat there dying of boredom,
而我坐在那儿无聊得要死
surrounded by people dying of natural causes.
周围全是快要老死的人
I'm gonna keep the bounce going, okay?
我要继续跳 好吗
Keep the bounce going.
继续跳
Yeah, you know, it's a little more
你知道吗 动起脖子来
- sass in the neck, because... - Oh, my gosh!
-更有感觉 -我的天
Mitchell, what are you doing here?
米奇尔 你来这里干什么
- What about the lecture? - Well, uh, it was deadly.
-讲座怎么办 -讲座真是要命了
Yeah, I'm getting old before my time.
我还没到该老的时候心就老了
Please take me with you! Make me young again!
带我一起玩吧 让我重拾年轻活力吧
Oh, my gosh, we're so happy you're here.
我的天 我们真高兴你来了
- Really? - Yeah, of course.
-真的吗 -当然
No "I told you so"?
不说"早跟你说了吧"
No. That's not how my generation does it.
不说了 我们年轻人不这样
Well, check you out, still going strong.
看看你 还这么有劲头
Yeah, you know what? I think I'm just feeding off the energy,
你知道吗 我觉得我吸收年轻劲儿更精神了
because I haven't felt this awake in...
我很久没有感觉这么清醒了呢
Hold on just a second.
等一下
Yo, blue guy! Hey, blue shirt!
蓝衣服的 说你呢 蓝衣服的
What's up, bro? Hey!
怎么样 兄弟
You looking at me? What do you want to do?
你看我干嘛 你想干嘛
You want to dance? Why is he staring at me?
你想跳舞吗 为什么他一直盯着我
You know, you know, I don't think he was looking at you.
其实 其实我没觉得他在看你
It seems like he's looking at me. What's...
感觉他是在看我 什么
Are you getting a little tired?
你是不是有点累了
Oh, please. Can a tired guy do this?
得了吧 我要累了还能这样
Da! Hey, I love these guys! Whoa.
我爱这些人
Oh, did you know Daryl... Daryl's mom was the runner-up
你认识达里尔吗 他妈妈是1990年
in the Miss Illinois pageant in 1990?!
伊利诺伊小姐选美赛的亚军
♪ The year I graduated ♪
♪ 那一年我毕业 ♪
♪ Daryl's mom was hot ♪
♪ 达里尔的妈妈很美艳 ♪
Fantastic.
你真棒
Cam, I think you might be hitting that wall.
小卡 我觉得你要撞墙上了
No, no, no, I'm fine. I would...
没有没有 我没事 我要
What's this clown staring at? Hey!
这个小丑盯着我干什么
No, no, no, no, no, don't point at me.
不不不 不要拿手指我
I'll rip your finger off
不然我把你的手指
and feed it to your red-headed girlfriend!
扯下来喂给你的红发女友
Okay, that is a mirror.
好了 那是个镜子
And I knew this sweater made me look busty.
而且我知道这件毛衣显得我胸很大了
Okay, w-w-why is my hand shaking?
为什么我的手在抖
Did somebody put something in my drink?
有人往我饮料里下药了吗
Hey! Did one of you Ritalin-addicted millennial
你们这堆兴奋剂上瘾 爱骑小摩托的
scooter jockeys dose me? Huh?
千禧一代是不是有人给我下药了
What, you think you can take this tree down, do you?
怎么 你们以为能把我这棵大树放倒吗
Well, guess what! I'm a redwood!
怎么着 我可是棵参天红木
That's right, I was here before you were born,
没错 你们还没生出来我就在这了
and I'll be here after you're gone!
你们没了我也还在这
He gets like this. He just needs a nap.
他有时候就这样 他只是需要睡一下
- Nap time. - Okay.
-该睡觉了 -好的
- Nap. Let's go. - No, I don't want to go, though!
-睡觉 走吧 -不 可是我还不想走
- I like my new friends! - Yeah, I know.
-我喜欢我的新朋友 -我知道
Do you guys like me? 'Cause I like you!
你们喜欢我吗 我可喜欢你们了
Yeah. I want to stay!
我想留下
And I'm really sorry about everything.
我对一切都好抱歉
- You got to let him go. - No, I'm sorry.
-你得放开他 -我好抱歉
You got to let him go. It's okay.
你得放开他 没事的
- Thank you. - I'm so sorry.
-谢谢你 -我好抱歉
- Bye-bye. - I didn't know you weren't staring at me.
-再见 -我不知道你没盯着我看
- Shh. It's okay. - No, I don't want to go.
-没事的 -不 我不想走
I nailed my monologues for the Elizabethan Society.
伊丽莎白时代社团的独白非常成功
Methinks you're looking at a brand-new Lizzie.
吾认为我能成为新一任莉齐
So it is "Methinks."
这么说"窝认为"没错
So, why does Jay correct me every time I say that?
那我说的时候杰怎么总纠正我
Jay, we have company! Do not hide in the bedroom.
杰 来客人了 别躲在卧室里
Hello.
你好
Thank you for coming.
多谢你特意过来
- Where's the boyfriend? - He's just parking.
-你男朋友在哪 -他在停车
And, you know, we realized something on the way over,
跟你说 我们在来的路上发现一件事
and it's a little awkward.
有点尴尬
Those are my hors d'oeuvres. I'll be back.
是开胃菜 我马上回来
- Make yourself a drink. - Okay.
-给自己弄杯喝的 -好
Hey, hot stuff.
性感辣妹
Are you sure this isn't a little weird?
你确定这一点也不诡异吗
Well, I wasn't expecting the couple we'd be helping out
我没想到我们要帮助的情侣
to be my grandpa and his wife, but...
会是我外公和他妻子 但是
our relationship was gonna be
我们的恋情
- out in the open eventually. - Yeah.
-迟早要公开的 -是啊
I kind of bragged about it to everyone I know.
我基本已经和所有认识的人炫耀过了
Oh, you're so sweet.
你可真甜
My daughter.
是我女儿
She wants to have friends over. I said no parties.
她想叫朋友来玩 我说过不准办派对
Hey, you relax.
你放松
Denise, your mother and I deserve one night off.
丹尼丝 是时候轮到你妈妈与我出来放松一晚了
The lady from the club!
俱乐部的女士
Either she didn't know I was Gloria's husband
要么她不知道我是歌洛莉亚的丈夫
and things were about to get very awkward,
事态马上会变得非常尴尬
or she did know and she was here to follow up
要么她知道 她是因为我无意的提议
on my accidental proposition.
来玩"四人行"了
God, I hate company!
老天 我真讨厌家里来人
Hey, hot stuff.
性感辣妹
Where's your boy toy?
你的小狼狗呢
Oh, he's making a phone call. Got to say, though,
他在打电话 不过我得说一声
I feel kind of awkward because, turns out,
我觉得有点尴尬 因为原来
- he's related to Gloria. - What?
-他跟歌洛莉亚有亲戚关系 -什么
My daughter. I have to handle this. Sorry.
是我女儿 我得处理一下 抱歉
Claire, I have big news.
克莱尔 我有个大消息
Oh, God. If it's what I think it is,
老天 假如是我想的那个
I don't know if that's a good idea.
我不知道你该不该这样做
I know. People will say
我知道 人们会说
I've taken my love of old things too far.
我过于迷恋老旧的人和事了
But I'm happy.
但我很开心
And not to brag, but I'm the first Latino to get in there.
不是我炫耀 但我是第一个进去的拉丁裔
Oh, boy. I feel sort of responsible for this.
老天 我觉得我有点责任
Um, I think it has a little more to do with my performance.
我认为这更归功于我的表现
I distinguished myself
我表现十分杰出
when I did literally all the girl parts.
所有的女性重点部分都被我征服了
I need to go splash some water on my face.
我得去往脸上泼点水
Wait a minute. Have you been doing sit-ups?
等一下 你最近有在做仰卧起坐吗
Oh, every night for stamina.
每晚都做 为了持久力
I would not have been able to perform without it.
不然我不会表现得那么好
I even threw in some tongue exercises
我甚至还加入了一些舌头练习
because my "Shrew" was taking forever.
因为我的悍妇[《驯悍记》]要好久才到高潮
Oh, God.
老天
Dad, what are you hiding from?
爸 你又在躲什么
You'll know after I tell you
等我告诉你我在俱乐部
what I said to that woman from the club.
和那女人说了什么 你就知道了
What is she doing here?
她怎么来了
- She's trying to get you out of those clothes. - You know?
-她是来让你脱下这身衣服的 -你知道了啊
Yes! We talked about it at yoga.
是的 我们在瑜伽课上谈过了
It was Gloria's idea.
那是歌洛莉亚的主意
I just came along to grease the wheels.
我只是来当润滑油作用的
What?! I was almost considering it until you added that part.
什么 你说这句前我本来差点要同意了
I gotta splash water on my face.
我得去往脸上泼点水
This place is dead. Want to bounce?
这地方真冷清 想走吗
No, we don't have to be around
不 我们不必和一大群人一起
a big group of people to have fun.
才能玩得尽兴啊
Luke, no!
卢克 不
She has a boyfriend.
她有男朋友了
Yeah, me.
是啊 就是我
No, it's some young guy from the club...
不 是俱乐部的某个小伙子
Oh, boy.
老天
Gloria, do you know what's going on with Manny?
歌洛莉亚 你知道曼尼的事吗
Uh, do you think that he can keep that a secret?
你认为他能藏住那个秘密吗
They have to wear all kind of weird outfits
他们不得不穿各种奇怪的衣服
every time they do it.
每次做起来都得穿
Hey, Ma.
Luke... Luke, get your hands off Manny's girlfriend.
卢克 卢克 别碰曼尼的女朋友
- That's not my girlfriend. - What?
-那不是我女朋友 -什么
Then what were we just talking about?
那我们刚才讨论的是什么
The Elizabethan Society. M-My first meeting's tonight.
伊丽莎白时代社团 今晚第一次聚会
- I'm so confused. - It's plain as day.
-我好糊涂 -再明白不过了
This woman is here to swing with me.
这女人是过来和我玩换妻的
That's it. That's where I draw the line.
到此为止 这是我的底线
How did this happen?
怎么会发生这种事
I'll tell you how this happened.
我告诉你怎么会发生这种事
Because nobody was willing to say
因为没有人愿意当坏人
what needs to be said.
说出逆耳的忠言
No. No. No.
不行 不行 不行
And hell no.
绝对不行
It's how you feel about the B-minus, Denise,
那是你对得了B-的感觉 丹尼丝
not how your mother and I feel about it.
而不是你妈和我的感觉
No, I'm not saying no to the Amsterdam trip.
不 我没不同意你去阿姆斯特丹
Yeah, it sounds like a fun summer,
是的 听起来会是很好玩的暑假
but how is that gonna look on a college application?
但这写在大学申请上好看吗
We'll talk about it later.
我们稍后再谈
Of course I'm proud of you.
我当然为你骄傲了
Hey, Mom.
Hey, Luke. Honey, would you mind getting me
卢克 宝贝 你介意帮我拿一下
that salad bowl off the top shelf?
架子顶层的沙拉碗吗
Yep.
好的
I know I'm the only one,
我知道只有我喜欢
but it is my favorite.
但这是我的最爱
Don't apologize, Mom. You know what you like.
不必道歉 老妈 你知道自己喜欢什么
Never mind. I'm good.
算了 我不吃了