摩登家庭 第十季 Modern Family Season 10 第2集: Kiss and Tell

上映日期: 2,018

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 盖尔·曼库索 / 斯蒂文·莱维坦

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·


台词
One, two, three!
一 二 三
Hey, guys! We're here!
大家好 我们来了
Welcome!
欢迎
Pool's cool, snacks in the kitchen,
泳池很爽 厨房有小吃
I've had some rose,
我喝了些葡萄酒
so fun Mitchell is in the house.
开启米奇尔欢乐模式
Showing quite a bit of leg.
大秀美腿
- This is very... ? - World-cuppy?
-可真是 -像世界杯比赛一样吗
There they are!
他们来了
My adult children still sponging off me
啃老啃了我将近50年的
- after nearly five decades. - Love it.
-成年子女 -真"好笑"啊
Sorry, thought I'd bend that into a joke, but it stayed real.
抱歉 原想开个玩笑 没想到道出了残酷的真相
- Hi, kids! - Hey, Grandpa.
-孩子们 -你好 外公
Hey, Phil.
菲尔
What's up his can?
他这是闹哪出
I don't know.
我不知道
Not easy being a white man these days.
这年头当白人男太不容易了
You feel me.
你懂的
So, I got Dad and Gloria's anniversary present.
我准备了给老爸和歌洛莉亚的周年礼物
You guys both owe me 40 bucks.
你们都欠我40块
Wait. It's their anniversary?
等等 今天是他们的结婚纪念日
I-I thought it was Gloria's birthday.
我以为是歌洛莉亚的生日
Oh, it can't be Gloria's birthday.
不可能是她生日
She gets mad even if you mention it.
一提到生日她就抓狂
I once asked when it was,
我曾经问过她日期
and she left a dismembered Bratz doll in my purse.
她就在我包里塞了个肢解的贝兹娃娃
Then why are we here?
今天到底是什么日子
You know what? I'm gonna go check what the cake says.
算了 我去看看蛋糕上写的什么
Oh, I'll have a glass of "Cake," Too.
给我也来杯"蛋糕"吧
Okay.
没问题
Quick, before she comes back, I need some relationship advice,
趁她不在 给我点情感建议
and this is kind of in a gray area ethically.
这算是道德伦理上的灰色区域
Oh, and it's okay to ask us
所以问我们就没事
because, as gays, we wouldn't dare judge anyone
谁让我们基佬的生活如此离经叛道
while living such a deviant lifestyle?
哪有资格去评判别人
Even the most beautiful version of our love is a mortal stain
就算基佬界最美的爱情故事和你们直男直女
compared to the worst thing you could do?
做出的最肮脏的事相比 也是个道德污点
Maybe I should talk to somebody else.
我还是找别人谈谈吧
- No, tell us! - No! Spill, girl, spill!
-别 告诉我们 -别啊 快说
Okay, so just between us,
不许说出去
you know I'm with Arvin and he's working in Switzerland.
我现在和阿尔文在一起 他去瑞士工作了
Well, I did something bad.
我干了件坏事
I kissed Dylan.
我亲了迪兰
Whoa, Dylan's still around?
迪兰还在你的生活里啊
I-I thought he joined a cult or something.
我以为他去加入了个邪教什么的
I heard he ate Mentos and a Coke and exploded.
我听说他把曼妥思和可乐混吃然后自爆了
I don't know why I did it. It meant nothing,
我也不知道为什么亲他 那个吻没有意义
but I feel horrible, and Arvin keeps calling,
现在很后悔 阿尔文一直在给我打电话
but I'm not picking up because, like --
我一直没接 因为...
Do I have to tell him?
我一定要告诉他吗
Uh, uh, honey, these things happen in every relationship.
亲爱的 每段感情都会经历这种事
You absolutely do not need to tell your partner everything.
完全不用什么事都告诉对方
Okay, well, that's a fun thing to hear your husband say.
听自己的老公说这话可真有趣
Oh, please, do not turn this into something.
得了吧 不要小题大做
Well, I was going to say, yes, you need to tell Arvin
我本来想说的是 没错 你应该告诉阿尔文
because you want your relationship based on truth,
感情需要建立在真实之上
which, apparently, mine is not.
很明显我的就没有
Ugh, this sucks! I don't know what to do.
糟透了 到底该怎么办
I was counting on you two to be on the same page.
我还指望至少你们能意见一致呢
- Well, we usually are. - When have you ever seen that?
-通常一致啊 -我们什么时候意见一致过
What are you hens cackling about?
你们几个小野鸡在叨些什么呢
Oh, just asking how they are.
就一般的寒暄问暖
Gonna jump in the pool.
我去泳池玩玩
Okay, see you.
好吧 再会
Haley doesn't care how people are.
海莉才不关心别人的生活
- What's going on? - It's nothing.
-到底怎么了 -没什么
She was just asking for some advice.
她就是来取取经
Why wouldn't she come to me?
那她干嘛不找我呢
I thought we were finally becoming friends.
我还以为我们终于要变成知心好友了
Well, you know, think about it, Claire.
你自己想想 克莱尔
All the secrets that you kept from your mom.
你瞒着你妈多少事
Yeah, but my mom
好吧 但我老妈
was an uptight, crazy person.
是个保守的疯女人
Let's just slowly back away as that settles in.
慢慢向后退 别惊动她
家 庭
摩 登
第十季 第二集
Hey, buddy!
嘿 伙计
Ready for the best thing to happen to your mouth since --
准备享受前所未有的味觉之...
I'm gonna bail on that.
编不下去了
I took off without a place to land.
我还没想好就脱口而出了
- How about a Mint "Jay-lep"? - I'll pass,
-来杯"薄荷杰丽普酒"吧 -不了吧
Mint Julep - 薄荷朱丽普酒
seeing as I'm not a hundred-year-old Southern lady.
鉴于我不是个一百岁的南方老太太
I finally saw the movie "Mean Girls."
我终于看完了电影《贱女孩》
I know. I'm a middle-aged man.
我懂 我都是个中年油腻大叔了
How'd I wait so long?
我怎么到现在才看
The point is, I realized I have a mean girl in my life --
重点是 我发现身边也有个"贱女孩"
Jay.
就是杰
Like last week at this wedding,
比如在上周的婚礼上
I'm rocking my moonwalk, and Jay yells,
我在耍太空步 杰大喊
"Hey, look, it's Michael Jerkson."
"快看 是迈克尔·抽筋逊"
Enough's enough.
实在忍无可忍了
How do you get a mean girl to stop being a mean girl?
怎样才能让"贱女孩"嘴别那么贱了
Be mean girlier.
就是嘴比他更贱
No, no, no, no, you're gonna love it.
不 不 不 不 你会喜欢的
Mint Jay-leps are all the rage.
薄荷杰丽普非常流行
Oh, you keep saying "Jay-leps."
你一直在说"薄荷杰丽普"
Yeah, well I made juleps, and -- and -- and my name's Jay,
我调了薄荷朱丽普酒 然后我的名字是杰
so I call them "Jay-leps."
所以就叫"薄荷杰丽普"
No, I get it.
不 我有听懂哏啊
It's just a fun thing.
这样很好玩啊
Ooh, are these the Mint Jay-leps we've been hearing about?
这就是让我们久仰大名的薄荷杰丽普吗
- Yeah. - Oh, Jay-leps.
-没错 -薄荷杰丽普
- Adorbs. - They are adorbs.
-真可爱 -是很可爱
Why do I doubt myself?
我为何要质疑自己
Manny!
曼尼
How was the road trip?
公路旅行如何
Uh, what can I say? Six weeks, 33 states,
怎么说呢 为期六周 跨越33个州
a lot of fake scrotums on the back of pickup trucks.
很多小货车的后面都吊着一个假阴囊
And he met a very nice girlfriend,
他遇到了一个非常棒的女朋友
and he's in love.
现在坠入了爱河
Let's see a pic.
看看照片
Wish I could.
我也希望有
I-I went old-school and used a film camera,
我用的是老式胶片摄像机
and the one roll I took of her fell into the Grand Canyon.
她的照片胶卷不慎掉入了大峡谷
You don't have a single photo of her?
你连一张照片都没有
Uh, well, just this blurry one on my phone.
手机上有张很模糊的
Oh, let's see.
拿来看看
Look at her.
快看
You can't really make her out,
虽然看不清她的脸
but it captures her wild spirit.
但还是能感受到她放荡不羁的灵魂
Yes.
没错
- Is it me, or is Manny dating Bigfoot? - Yeah.
-是我瞎还是曼尼确实爱上了大脚怪 -是啊
Let me tell you the difference
我来告诉你们曼尼的女朋友
between Manny's girlfriend and Bigfoot.
和大脚怪的区别
Bigfoot could be real.
大脚怪有可能是真的
She's not a fake girlfriend.
她不是虚构女友
You want to hear the kicker?
想知道致命一击是什么吗
She's from Canada.
她来自加拿大
- Oh, no. - Oh, yikes.
-不要啊 -要命了
- Oh, stop it! - Back me up, boys.
-别这样 -孩子们 支持我
You know what, Gloria?
歌洛莉亚 你知道吗
Canada is good for a lot of things,
加拿大有很多好的方面
but their number-one export is fake girlfriends.
但他们最大的出口品就是虚构女友
Yeah, it's kind of a thing.
没错 基本已经形成共识了
Uh, before Cam and I came out, we each had Canadian girlfriends.
小卡和我出柜前 也各自有过加拿大女友
So, what are you saying now? That Manny's gay?
你们想说什么 曼尼是同性恋吗
We weren't, but he does check a few of the boxes.
我们可没这么说 但他确实符合一些特征
Come on. Look at him.
拜托 看看他
He's as straight as the swim from Cartagena to Houston.
他和从卡塔赫纳游到休斯顿的偷渡线路一样直
The trip was amazing, and I did the cheekiest thing.
旅途棒极了 我做了最调皮的事
I saw "Oklahoma!" In Oklahoma,
我在俄克拉荷马州看了《俄克拉荷马》
均为音乐剧 一般被视作同性恋符号之一
"Chicago" In Chicago, and then,
在芝加哥看了《芝加哥》 然后
I got in a little trouble in River City.
我在河畔城遇上了些小麻烦
音乐剧《音乐人》中的虚构城市
‭Okay, that's the gayest thing I've ever heard,
够了 那是我听过的最基的事了
and I shampooed dogs in West Hollywood.
我可是在西好莱坞做过狗狗美容师
He's had so many girlfriends.
他交过很多女朋友
The last one was a woman in her 20s.
上一个是20多岁的成熟女性
Yeah, but didn't you say he was so sweet when she stayed over
但你不是说过 当她来留宿时
he offered to sleep on the couch?
他总是很贴心地主动睡沙发
So what?
那又怎样
My first boyfriend at his age,
我的第一个男友就和他同龄
he wasn't ready to sleep with me.
他也没准备好和我上床
And what does he do now?
那他现在怎么样了
He runs a very nice bed and breakfast.
他开了一家很温馨的民宿旅馆
- With...? - With...?
-和... -和...
His good friend Steven!
和他的好朋友斯蒂文一起
Shut up!
闭嘴
I-I really feel for Manny if he's wrestling with this secret.
如果曼尼背着这样的秘密 那我真的很同情他
Yet you had no problem keeping an indiscretion from me for 16 years.
但你却不介意16年来对我隐瞒你不忠的秘密
- And off we go. ‭- Yeah.
-又开始了 -没错
Just like the shorts of that beefy UPS driver
就像那天给你送了两个包裹的
that delivered you two packages that day.
健壮快递员的短裤
Wow, that is not what happened!
事情不是那样的
So, you admit something happened!
所以你承认有事发生过
Okay, I'm gonna tell you everything
好吧 我会全部告诉你
'cause it is so much tamer than what's in your head.
因为事情比你脑补的要无害多了
- Okay. ‭- Six weeks into our relationship,
-好啊 -我们开始交往后六周
before we decided we were exclusive,
在我们确定专一关系前
I kissed someone in a bar.
我在酒吧亲了一个人
- See, it's not a big deal. - ‭Okay, yes, it is a big deal,
-根本不严重 -很严重好吗
which is why I rejected a very similar advance at the same time
正因此 同一时期 我才会拒绝了
from a celebrity,
一个名人的追求
but I'm not gonna tell you who that is,
但我不会告诉你对方是谁
because I don't want you to feel insecure.
因为我不想令你感到不安
Cam, we both know you're seconds away
小卡 我们都知道你马上
- from telling me -- - It was Isaac Mizrahi!
-就要告诉我了 -是艾萨克·米兹拉
著名时尚设计师 电视主持人
Yeah, that's right.
是的 没错
Cindy Crawford's friend!
辛迪·克劳馥的朋友啊
There you are.
你在这儿呢
We haven't had a chance to talk about anything since you got back.
你回来后我们还没好好聊聊
So, tell me about this new Canadian girlfriend.
和我说说你的新加拿大女友
Well, she's brilliant, but humble, beautiful, but accessible,
她既聪明又谦虚 既漂亮又随和
one of the funniest people I've ever met,
是我见过最有趣的人之一
but, also, deeply serious.
同时也很深沉
Ah, such lovely, general terms.
多么优美 笼统的描述
She sounds a little bit too good to be true.
她听起来好得有些不真实了
What is her name?
她叫什么名字
It's Sherry Shaker.
雪莉·桃久奇
Sherry Shaker?
雪莉酒 调酒器
Those are the two things that are in front of you at this bar.
你面前吧台上就摆着这两样东西
Delightful!
太巧了
Manny... is there anything that you need to tell me?
曼尼 你心底有没有什么事想告诉我
Maybe some kind of... sexual thing?
或许是与 性相关的
I really don't want to talk about this.
我真的不想谈这个
Okay, papi, but you know I love you
好吧 宝贝 但是你知道我爱你
and that you can be honest with me about anything, right?
任何事你都可以实话告诉我 对吧
In that case... This is a lot.
既然这样 那我直说了 这太暴露了
I'm pretty desensitized to it,
我倒是麻木无感了
but I saw Luke walk into a wall.
但我看到卢克走路都撞到墙上了
What are you guys laughing at?
你们在笑什么
Oh, I wouldn't worry about it.
不用在意
You said something funny, didn't you?
你讲了个笑话 对吧
The guy's a joke machine!
这家伙是个笑话机器
- Oh, someone's sitting there. - Who?
-这个位子有人坐了 -谁
Someone who doesn't ask a million questions.
不会问那么多问题的人
Grandpa, you can sit with us.
外公 你可以和我们一起坐
Great.
棒极了
It was working, but it was killing me.
那办法奏效了 但我内心也深受折磨
I've actually had dreams where the only thing happening
我梦过很多次这情景 但梦中唯一发生的事
was me sitting with Jay while he, you know,
就是我和杰坐在一起
tousles my hair, calling me "sport."
他揉着我的头发叫我"好小子"
Congrats, honey.
亲爱的 恭喜你
Always proud to celebrate one of your awards.
庆祝你获奖 总是令我很骄傲
I didn't win an award.
我没有获奖
Well, then, what are we all doing here?
那我们都是来干什么的
I'm a busy man!
我很忙的
- Don't you just golf now? - I work when it's raining.
-你现在不是只打高尔夫吗 -我在下雨天才工作
Why am I defending myself to you?
为什么我要在你面前替自己辩解
And why is your father mad at me?
为什么你爸看我不爽
- Did I do something? - ‭Probably.
-我做错了什么吗 -很有可能
Isn't that your relationship?
但你们的关系不就是这样吗
He's always desperate for your approval and you shoot him down?
他总是渴望你的认可 而你总是打击他
It's supposed to be, but all of a sudden, he's, like...
本该如此才对啊 但是突然他就
all cold.
变冷漠了
Wouldn't let me sit with him.
都不让我和他坐在一起
Ugh, so high school.
跟戏多的高中生一样
Dad and I watched "Mean Girls" the other night,
那天晚上我爸和我一起看了《贱女孩》
and I chewed off a piece of my hair reliving how awful it was.
重温可怕的高中 让我咬断了一撮头发
Wait.
等一下
In the movie, the heroine takes down the head mean girl
电影里 女主角打败贱女孩大姐大的办法
by being mean to her.
就是对她更贱
Maybe that's what Dad is doing to you?
也许我爸也在对你用这招
Son of a bitch.
混蛋
Phil thinks he can "Mean Girls" me?
菲尔以为他能用《贱女孩》的套路对付我
How lame is that? Let me tell you something --
这也太弱鸡了 让我告诉你些事
I might be a pretty face, but I fight to win.
我或许天生丽质难自弃 但我不达胜利不罢休
Just like "Legally Blonde"!
就像《律政俏佳人》里一样
Oh, you're not looking at your phone.
你没有在盯着手机看
- Is everything okay? - Yeah, everything's fine.
-你没事吧 -当然 我没事
You know, if something was on your mind,
如果你有心事
I'm an excellent person to confide in.
我是个很好的倾诉对象
No judgment.
从不评判
God knows I've done some stuff I'm not proud of.
我也做过一些不光彩的事
‭Like what?
比如说呢
J-Just like...
比如说...
shoplifting.
在商店行窃
Wow. Really?
天 真的吗
I mean, no judgment here -- I do it, too.
我不会评判你 我也有这习惯
What? You do?
什么 你也这样做
Yeah, but I'm very ethical about it.
是啊 但我有道德底线
I only take things from companies that use child labor.
我只从雇用童工的公司拿东西
That is how my generation is saving the world.
我们这代人就是这样拯救世界的
Haley, I did not raise you to steal.
海莉 我养你不是让你去偷东西的
You just said you do it, too!
你刚刚才说你也这样做
I made that up so you would tell me
那是我编出来的 好让你告诉我
- what's going on in your life! - ‭Why would I?
-你到底遇到了什么事 -为什么我要告诉你
Stuff a couple Pakistani lipsticks in my purse,
塞几支巴基斯坦的口红进包里
and you freak out at me!
你就这样大惊小怪
披头士乐队成员
Well, well, well, if it isn't John, Paul, and George.
瞧瞧啊 这不是约翰 保罗和乔治嘛
Anyone need a Ringo?
需要林戈的加入吗
Actually, we can get by
事实上 没有你的帮助
without a little help from you, friend.
我们也可以过得去 朋友
Pool's so over, anyways.
台球也挺无聊的
Maybe, uh, the guys want to hit the H2O,
也许 各位爷们儿想去水里
rock some Marco Polo.
玩玩马可波罗游戏
Good for you not letting that chest
你可真自信 没让你干瘪的胸部
get in the way of having fun.
阻挡你去找乐子
Most guys wouldn't go shirtless
大多数男人一般不会露上身
until they got a little...
除非他们练出一些
muscle.
胸肌
- We need to talk. - Wait. Something weird is happening.
-我们要谈一谈 -等等 气氛有点诡异
I want to see how it plays out.
我想看看这出好戏会有什么进展
Who's ready to hit the pool?
谁想去泳池玩
Marco!
马可
Solo!
一个人去
Okay, I know emotional slights usually roll off me
听着 我知道我总是控制不住情绪波动
- like water off a mule's back -- - Isn't it "Duck"?
-就像水从骡子背上滑落 -不是鸭子吗
Uh, a lot of animals bead, Mitchell.
有很多动物身上会滑落水珠 米奇尔
The point is I need to know details.
重点是我要知道细节
I need to know what happened... ‭
我要知道到底发生了什么
and with whom.
以及对方是谁
Was it a peck?
是轻啄一下吗
Was it with Pepper?
是跟胡娇吗
Was he drunk?
他喝醉了吗
Did you get a peck from a pickled Pepper?
你是不是轻轻啄了喝醉的胡娇
How long have you been sitting on that?
你有这个想法多久了
You kissed a man six week--
你亲了一个男的...
- Hi. - Hi.
-你们好 -你好
You kissed a man six weeks into our relationship
我们在一起六周后你亲了别人
when I'm telling you "I love you."
那时我刚跟你说"我爱你"
I'm calling my mom, telling her I'd met the one
在我跟我妈打电话说我遇到对的人的时候
while you're sidled up next to some cha-cha queen at a urinal.
你却在厕所跟某个骚鸡亲亲我我
Okay, this insane reaction is proof
你抓狂的反应证明
that I did the right thing not telling you.
我不告诉你是对的
Okay, everyone knows this kind of secret
好吧 大家都知道这种秘密
is poison, Mitchell.
是毒药 米奇尔
- Oh, yeah? - ‭Yeah.
-是吗 -是的
Let's take it to the room.
那我们问问大家的意见
Hey, you all heard that whole conversation, right?
你们都听到整个对话了 是吧
- Of course, yeah. - ‭Sí. - ‭Yeah.
-当然 -是的 -听到了
So, Phil, if Claire kissed someone
那么菲尔 如果克莱尔
very early into the relationship,
刚跟你在一起时亲了别人
should she have told you?
她该告诉你吗
- Of course. - No way.
-当然 -不可能
What? Did you kiss someone?
什么 你亲了别人吗
See? Secrets.
瞧见没 秘密
Tearing them apart.
让他们夫妻离心
Mitch and Cam, I just want you to know
米奇和小卡 我只想说
that I support your lifestyle,
我很支持你们的生活方式
and I find it very charming
而且我发现你们这类人
when your people act very emotional and inappropriate in public.
在公共场合情绪化又不得体的行为非常有魅力
Okay, so I'm getting no help from this room.
好吧 所以我在这孤立无援
I'm sorry, but kissing someone outside of a relationship
很抱歉 但亲了对象之外的人
is a big deal and you should fess up right away.
是件大事 你应该告诉对方
You told them?!
你们告诉他们了
Yes! Yes, they told us everything,
是的 他们把什么都说了
and I can't believe you did that!
我不敢相信你竟然做出了这种事
Well, I'm sorry, but Dylan was a huge part of my life --
我很抱歉 但迪兰是我人生中很重要的人
You kissed Dylan?! That's your secret?
你亲了迪兰 这就是你的秘密
You tricked me!
你套路我
What are you doing?
你在干什么
You are dating a world-renowned scientist.
你在跟一位国际知名的科学家约会
I mean, isn't Dylan still married
迪兰不是结婚了吗
and still an idiot?
并且还是个傻瓜
Hey, he is not still married.
说一下 他已经离婚了
And he's getting his life together.
他让生活回到了正轨
He's in nursing school.
他在护理学校上学
Good for him. I love Dylan.
真为他高兴 我超爱迪兰
Honey, she's dating Arvin.
亲爱的 她在跟阿尔文约会
We love Arvin now.
我们现在喜欢阿尔文
And wouldn't it be wonderful
如果一个叫迪兰的
if someone called Dylan loved someone called Arvin?
和一个叫阿尔文的相爱 不是很美好吗
No one in this room would have a problem with it.
这里没有人会对此有意见的
Am I wrong, or is your mom trying to get
是我理解错了 还是你妈在试着
Alex to come out of the closet?
逼艾丽克斯出柜
Oh, God, it's Arvin calling.
天啊 是阿尔文打来的
Quick, a show of hands, who thinks I have to tell him?
快 觉得我应该告诉他的举手
One, two, three, four.
一二三四
Four out of nine? A frickin' tie?!
九分之四 竟然是他妈的平局
Yay, I'm so happy I finally reached you!
耶 真高兴我终于联系上你了
I know.
我知道
How's work? Any major breakthroughs?
工作怎么样 有什么重大突破吗
Oh, well, I-I made a German laugh.
这个嘛 我终于把一个德国人逗笑了
Oh, I miss you terribly.
我好想你
I miss you, too.
我也想你
Uh, listen, um, we have to talk.
听着 我们需要谈谈
I love you, and this is really hard for me to say,
我爱你 这真的有点难以启齿
but, I, um...
但是我...
I did something stupid.
我干了件蠢事
I kissed my ex-boyfriend. It meant nothing, I swear,
我亲了前男友 我发誓这毫无意义
and I'm hoping you'll forgive me,
我希望你可以原谅我
and we can forget this ever happened.
我们可以当做这从没发生过
Sorry, love, you froze up.
不好意思 亲爱的 你那边卡住了
I-I-I missed the -- the whole thing.
我什么也没听到
Oh, that sucks. Um...
真糟糕 这...
This is really hard for me, but I did something stupid.
这真的难以启齿 但我干了件很蠢的事
I kissed my ex-boyfriend. It meant nothing, and I --
我亲了我的前男友 这并不代表什么 我...
Sorry, froze up again
不好意思 又卡了
in the funniest position.
卡在了一个搞笑的位置
You look like you'd smelled something dreadful.
你看上去像闻到了什么恶臭的东西
- Have another go. -‭ Okay.
-再说一遍 -行吧
I messed up, and I kiss--
我搞砸了 我亲
Wait!
等一下
Okay, go.
好了 说
I kissed my ex-boyfriend!
我亲了前男友
Damn it, stop freezing!
该死 别卡了
Not frozen.
没卡
Shocked.
我震惊了
Very hurt, actually.
事实上 我心碎了
I'm so sorry.
我真的很抱歉
It meant nothing. Can --
那不代表什么 我们能
Can we please move past this?
我们能就这么让它过去吗
I don't know.
我不知道
Um, we said that we loved each other.
我们说过彼此相爱
I-I trusted you.
我信任过你
What I want to do is hang up on you right now.
我现在只想挂掉你的电话
Wait, I --
等等 我
Well, I told him, and it couldn't have gone worse.
我告诉他了 简直不能更糟了
- Oh, no. - Oh, I'm sorry.
-不要啊 -我很遗憾
- He broke up with you. - ‭Not yet.
-他跟你分手了 -还没有
He just hung up on me.
他只是挂了我电话
Oh, come here, honey.
过来 宝贝
I'm -- I'm so sorry, and I know why you didn't come to me.
我 我很遗憾 我理解你为什么不来找我了
I haven't always been Dylan's biggest fan.
我一直都不怎么喜欢迪兰
You pushed him into a beehive.
你可是把他推进一个蜂窝
You know, to be fair, I pushed him off of you,
公平地说 我是把他从你身边推开
and he fell into the beehive,
他自己摔进蜂窝的
but, regardless, I want to be supportive.
但是 不管怎么说 我想支持你
No judgment. I promise. I promise.
绝对不评判 我保证 我保证
I can't believe how stupid I was.
我简直不敢相信自己这么蠢
I let Dylan get in my head,
我让迪兰扰乱了我的内心
and now I might have ruined everything with Arvin.
现在我和阿尔文的感情可能都被毁了
So...
那么
what we're learning is that
通过这件事我们可以学到
sometimes it is better to keep the secret.
有时候 秘密还是不说出来为好
You can't be proud of that.
你竟然有脸为此感到骄傲
Look, honey, sometimes these things happen.
宝贝 其实这种事也是常有发生的
They happened with them,
在他们身上发生过
but that turned out to be a good thing.
结果却发展成了一件好事
I'm sorry. In what way?
不好意思 怎么就是好事了
Because after Mitchell kissed the guy in the bar,
因为米奇尔在酒吧亲完那个人之后
he called me crying,
哭着给我打了电话
so tortured.
肝肠寸断啊
He said the second he did it,
他说他亲下去的那一瞬间
he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Cam.
他就意识到他想和小卡共度余生
Mitchell, is that true? Why didn't you say that?
米奇尔 真的吗 你为什么不早说呢
Because we've been together for 15 years, Cam.
因为我们都在一起15年了 小卡
I got defensive. I'm sorry.
我刚刚太想维护自己了 抱歉
No. I'm sorry.
不 该道歉的是我
You know, I freaked out,
是我失控了
and I made this whole day about myself.
我只顾考虑我自己了
And you're right -- I can be self-centered and emotional.
你是对的 我有时以自我为中心 又很情绪化
I guess it's, you know,
我觉得
because of all that time my daddy spent with his pigs.
是因为我爸爸和他的猪在一起太久的缘故
- Cam. ‭Please. It's time. - ‭Mm-hmm.
-小卡 拜托 该闭嘴了 -嗯
Haley, you're not a bad person.
海莉 你不是个坏人
Maybe this kiss taught you something you needed to know,
也许这个吻告诉了你一些你需要知道的事
just like it did with Uncle Mitch.
就像米奇舅舅那样
If that's the case,
如果是那样的话
you need to fight for the man you love
你需要去争取你爱的那个人
and shut it down with the one you don't.
并且果断离开你不爱的人
- You're right. - ‭Mm-hmm.
-你说得对 -嗯嗯
- I have to go see Dylan. ‭- Okay.
-我得去见迪兰 -好的
Be strong. Don't let him manipulate you.
坚强一点 不要让他掌控你
- He can be a very em-- - She's good.
-他有时候很... -她可以的
She's good.
她没事的
Ah, so happy that you came out.
真高兴你出来了[出柜]
What's going on with you?
你怎么回事
Where did you get that raft?
你从哪弄到这么个气垫
It was in a gift bag from a very moving Pride benefit
从一个超级感人的同志活动送的礼品袋里
that I went to with Mitch and Cam.
我和米奇还有小卡一起去的
If you want to know if I'm gay, just ask me.
你要是想知道我是不是同性恋 直接问我好了
No, I don't want to be pushy.
不 我不想给你太大压力
‭I like women, Mom!
我喜欢女人 妈
Why on earth would you think I'm gay?
你怎么会觉得我是同性恋呢
In fairness, you do check a lot of the boxes.
公平地说 你确实符合基佬的很多特征
I only thought it because Jay said
我会这么想是因为杰说
that the Canadian girlfriends are fake
加拿大女朋友是假的
and that Mitch and Cam had them.
而且米奇和小卡也有过加拿大女朋友
You think my girlfriend is fake?
你觉得我的女朋友是假的
Well, you didn't have any pictures,
你一张照片都没有
and at the bar, you said that her name
而且在吧台那儿 你说她的名字
was something like Olive Cocktail-napkin.
叫什么橄榄·鸡尾酒-餐巾纸
It's Sherry Shaker!
是雪莉·桃久奇
I am sorry,
我很抱歉
but when I asked you if you were hiding something from me,
但是我问你有没有瞒着我什么的时候
you got all defensive, and you boob-shamed me.
你就变得很防备 你还羞辱了我的胸
Because something did happen.
因为确实有事情发生
Sherry and I...
雪莉和我
we joined our...
我们携手
We crossed that beauteous threshold
我们打开了美丽新世界的大门
into the physical expression of love.
用肉体缠绵互诉真情
Have you ever heard a straight guy describe sex that way?
你什么时候听到过一个直男那样形容性爱
That's what he meant?
他原来是这个意思吗
Why does that feel worse to me?
我怎么觉得听了更难受
Hey, Alex. You're the last virgin.
艾丽克斯 你是最后一个处子了
Please, I'm dating a fireman.
拜托 我可是在和一个消防员约会
I'm having hotter sex than...
我的性生活火辣得比...
Hey, Dad?
你好啊 爸
What are you doing?
你在干什么
He wouldn't.
他不会的
I realized he was "Mean Girls-ing" Me back
我意识到他在"以彼之贱 还施彼身"
with a weird nod to "Legally Blonde,"
并且加入了《律政俏佳人》的某些招式
which I'll bet he thinks I didn't notice.
我敢说他不知道我注意到了
I had to change tactics.
我得改变战术了
I had to stop acting like a mean girl
我不能再像一个贱女孩那样
and do the last thing Jay would ever expect me to do --
我要做让杰意想不到的事
act like a man.
就是像个男人一样
What the hell are you doing?!
你这是搞什么鬼
Oh, yeah, well, everybody's hungry,
大家都饿了
and the prevailing opinion is that
而且大家都觉得
I'm a better griller than you.
我比你更会烤肉
- No. - Wow. You must think you're pretty tough.
-完了 -哇 你自以为是硬汉对吧
- Not as tough as your meat. - ‭Claire!
-没你烤的肉硬 -克莱尔
Yes, good, everybody get out here!
没错 很好 所有人都出来
What? What's going on?
怎么了 出什么事了
It's Phil! Phil is grilling!
是菲尔 菲尔要烤肉了
This bozo just told me
这个傻蛋刚刚告诉我
that you think I overcook your meat.
你们认为我烤的肉太老了
Is that true?
是真的吗
Luke?!
卢克
Dad, we love you, but...
爸 我们爱你 不过
you don't know what medium-rare is.
你真的不懂什么叫三分熟
I've-I've given you a meat thermometer
我已经连续三年父亲节
for three Father's Days in a row.
送你烤肉温度计了
For the love of God, just use one!
看在老天份上 求你用用吧
Fine. See if I care.
那好 我才不在乎
But I don't know what you have against me today --
但我不知道你今天跟我较什么劲
kicking a man off his own grill,
把我赶下我的烤架
making fun of my Mint Jay-leps.
笑话我的冰镇薄荷杰丽普酒
You made fun of his Mint Jay-leps?
你笑话他的冰镇薄荷杰丽普
He did them for you.
那是他专门为你调的
- What? - ‭I don't know what she's talking about.
-什么 -我不知道她在胡说什么
The minute Jay created the Jay-leps,
杰一想到冰镇"薄荷杰丽普"这个点子
all he could keep saying was,
就一直在说
"Phil's gonna get such a kick out of this."
"菲尔肯定超喜欢这个名字双关的美酒"
But he didn't! He said it was dumb!
可他不喜欢 他说这点子很蠢
He said it was an old lady's drink!
他说那是老太太喝的
Since when do you care what I think?
你什么时候在意起我的想法了
Always!
一直啊
He thinks that you're the life of the party.
他觉得你是每一场派对的活力源泉
He wants to be more like you.
他想变得像你一样
All I've said is that sometimes
我只是说 有时候
I envy people who don't mind being an ass
我嫉妒那些不介意出洋相的人
because they're having fun,
因为他们玩得很开心
and I guess...
我想
you're one of those people.
你就是那种人
Wow, so all this time, you've been mean to me
所以这些年来你一直对我很刻薄
because you admire me so much?
是因为你特别羡慕我
‭Hey, look at me.
来 看着我
I loved those Mint Jay-leps.
我很喜欢你的冰镇薄荷杰丽普
- You did? ‭- Yeah.
-真的吗 -真的
Did you hear that, Gloria? He did.
你听见了吗 歌洛莉亚 他喜欢
I only trashed them because of what you called me
我说那酒不好只是因为婚礼那天
when I was dancing at the wedding.
你在我跳舞时给我起外号
What? Flail Dunphy?
什么外号 菲鹅·邓菲
Shrill Dummy?
傻尔·笨妹
When you dropped your drink -- Spill Bumbly?
你弄洒饮料时我说了洒尔·蹬飞
Michael Jerkson.
迈克尔·抽筋逊
Oh, yeah. I forgot about that one.
是哦 这个我倒是忘了
I'm sorry.
对不起
Oh, don't-don't worry about it.
别在意了
What are we doing?
这是在做什么
Did you just call me "Sport"?
你刚叫我"好小子"了吗
Haley.
海莉
I had a feeling it was gonna be you.
我有预感会是你
You buzzed me in the gate.
是你给我开的大门
- Do you have a minute? - Sure, my roommates and I
-你有时间吗 -当然 我和室友
are just studying for physiology midterms.
不过在为生理学期中考复习而已
- Oh, she cute. - ‭Thanks, girl.
-她真可爱 -谢了 妹子
That hair is on point.
你的发型太完美了
I bought it yesterday.
我昨天刚买的
Can we talk out here?
我们能出来聊聊吗
Listen, I need you to know that
听着 我得让你知道
that kiss never should have happened.
那天我根本不该吻你
Arvin and I are together, and you and I are friends,
阿尔文和我在交往 而我们只是朋友
and that's all we're ever going to be.
并且永远只会是朋友
No, thank you.
不了 谢谢
"No, thank you"? I didn't ask you a question.
"不了 谢谢" 我又没问你想怎样
Well, let me ask you one.
那让我问问你
It's been 10 years, and I can't move on from you.
已经十年了 我总是不能放下你
Also not a question.
这也不是提问
Remember the day we met?
还记得我们相遇那天吗
I was walking through the halls,
我走在走廊里
and I saw the most beautiful girl,
看到了这世上最漂亮的女孩
and I was like, "Whoa! Who is that?"
我说 "那是谁"
And you were like, "That's Rebecca Salkin."
然后你说"那是丽贝卡·萨尔金"
And then I turned and saw you for the first time,
然后我转身 第一次看到了你
and I was done with Rebecca Salkin.
我立刻就忘了丽贝卡·萨尔金
Yeah, you were wearing that cool, beat-up Army jacket,
当时你穿着那件很酷的破军装外套
and I was completely jealous of your eyelashes.
我特别嫉妒你的长睫毛
Haley...
海莉
I fell in love with you that day, and I've never stopped.
那天我就爱上了你 从没停止过爱你
I'm gonna keep making myself better until I deserve you.
我会一直让自己变得更好 直到配得上你
Why is it so hard to be honest in relationships?
为什么在感情中坦诚相待这么难
We play games.
我们耍小把戏
We keep secrets...
我们藏起秘密
I don't remember crying to you about that kiss.
我不记得向你哭诉那个吻的事
The truth wasn't moving the needle.
说实话又无法拔除他心中的那根刺
You're welcome.
不客气
when all we want to do is connect.
而我们分明只想心心相印
Everyone, listen up!
大家 注意听
Hi, I'm Sherry.
大家好 我是雪利
I'm Manny's real Canadian girlfriend.
我是曼尼真实存在的加拿大女友
This isn't the first time I've had to do this.
这不是我第一次被迫证明自己的存在了
I guess we have to start with being honest with ourselves.
我想我们得先从对自己诚实开始
And if I'm being honest...
假如要我说实话
I love two people.
我爱上了两个人
Damn it!
见鬼
Can we go? Are we waiting for cake, or...?
我们能走了吗 我们是在等蛋糕吗
- Is it a birthday? - Should I make a toast?
-是谁的生日吗 -我该说段祝酒词吗
- To what? - To whom?
-敬什么 -敬谁
All right! It's come to my attention through series of assumptions,
好吧 通过一系列的假设
old e-mails and lazy sheep-like thingking,
旧电邮和蹩脚的思考 我注意到
that we may have gathered for no reason.
我们可能没什么理由就来聚会了
So, it's not my welcome home party?
所以这不是欢迎我回家的派对吗
- Of course it... - No!
-当然是 -不是
Your mother thought Alex won a award,
你妈以为艾丽克斯得了奖
she didn't, and the dry spell continues.
她没有 干旱期还在持续
Please, the last thing I'm having is a dry sp-
拜托 我最近雨露丰沛...
People, listen up!
大家听好
There's too many actual reasons for us to see each other,
我们平时需要聚会的真实原因已经够多了
we cannot afford to hang out by mistake.
我们受不起这样失误乱聚
I love you all, now go home.
我爱你们所有人 都滚回家吧
- Alright, great. - Alright, let's go.
-好吧 -我们走