摩登家庭 第十季 Modern Family Season 10 第22集: A Year of Birthdays

上映日期: 2,018

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 盖尔·曼库索 / 斯蒂文·莱维坦

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·


台词
过去一年的生日
Speech! Speech!
演讲 演讲
Okay, okay, okay. Settle down.
好啦好啦 都静一下
一年前
It's hard to believe I'm 50.
真不敢相信我50岁了
A-A-As of today, I'm middle-aged.
从今天开始 我就步入中年了
What's he been the last 10 years?
那他过去十年算什么
Delusional. He thinks he's a millennial, like us.
妄想狂 他以为自己跟我们一样是千禧一代
I've thought a lot about what's next.
我思考了很多 关于接下来会如何
- 51. - ‭Thank you, buddy.
-变51岁 -谢谢你啊 兄弟
And it's important that I continue to grow
重要的是 我要继续成长
and that I stay mentally challenged.
并且继续接受精神上的挑战[当弱智]
Which is why I am starting...
所以我要开始
piano lessons,
学钢琴
so that by next year's birthday,
这样到明年生日时
I'll be good enough to perform in public.
我就厉害到能当众演奏了
Oh, great. Another thing to go to.
太好了 又有破事要去参加
Also, I'm gonna learn how to speak Spanish.
还有 我要学讲西班牙语
Excelente!
好棒哦[西语]
Uh, I -- I haven't started yet.
我还没开始学 听不懂
Um, and finally, um --
最终
and I know it's a little bit of a midlife-crisis cliché,
我知道这算是老掉牙的中年危机事项
but...
不过
I'm gonna learn how to ride a unicycle!
我打算学骑独轮车
Phil, you forgot to open one of your gifts.
菲尔 有份礼物你忘记拆了
This one, Jay picked it up for you himself.
这一份 是杰亲手为你选的
He did?
真的吗
Hey, Dad.
爸爸
So, what's going on with that hat?
你干嘛戴那顶帽子
Gloria thinks I look grumpy in the photos that we take
歌洛莉亚觉得我在我们家庭聚会拍的大合照里
when we go to these things,
都很臭脸
so I'm searching for the right hat
所以我在寻找最合适的帽子
that makes me look like I'm having fun.
能让我看起来玩得很开心
Or you could just smile more.
或者你多笑一点也行啊
"The Sommelier's Guide to the Wines of France."
《品酒师的法国红酒指南》
- I love it so much. - ‭Nice!
-我太喜欢了 -真不错
Oh, my goodness. It's inscribed.
老天爷 上面还题了字
"May you continue to age
"愿你像上等波尔多红酒般
as gracefully as a fine Bordeaux."
继续优雅地老去"
- Dad... - "Happy Birthday, Jay.
-爸爸 -"生日快乐 杰
Love, Cam."
爱你的 小卡"
...Cam. Yeah. Jay, you re-gifted my gift?
小卡 没错 杰 你把我送你的礼物转送人啊
Dad!
爸爸
I didn't know he wrote in it.
我不知道他在里面写字了
Because you didn't open it.
因为你都没打开过
So now I feel like a jerk.
现在我觉得自己好混蛋
How could you be a jerk? You're wearing that hat.
你怎么会是混蛋呢 你可是戴着那顶可爱的小帽子
你为什么对这个极度渴望你的爱的老男孩这么不上心
A year from now, I'm gonna know what that means.
一年后 我就知道她在说什么了
家 庭
摩 登
第十季 第二十二集(本季终)
I got Gloria the greatest Valentine's Day gift --
我给歌洛莉亚准备了最棒的情人节礼物
a box set of DVDs of all the Dean Martin Roasts.
喜剧演员迪恩·马丁的全套吐槽作品集
I was so moved by the romantic gesture
我被如此浪漫的举动深深打动了
that for Jay's birthday,
于是杰生日那天
I invited a bunch of people over to insult him.
我邀请了一群人来羞辱他
风云人物
So, my ex-wife and I,
我前妻和我
we were on vacation with Jay and Gloria.
我们跟杰和歌洛莉亚一起去度假
They're walking down the beach, and my ex-wife says,
他俩沿着海滩漫步 我前妻说
"Whoa, look at all that skin."
"天啊 露出那么大面积的皮肤"
And I said, "Baby, come on.
我便说 "宝贝 别这样
What's wrong with that?
那有什么问题呢
She's a beautiful woman in a bikini."
她是个穿着比基尼的美丽女子"
She said, "Oh, I'm talkin' about Jay's scalp."
她说 "不 我是在说杰的头皮"
Jay is so not Latin
杰毫无拉丁血统
that every time that he dances,
没有的程度达到他只要开始跳舞
people point him to the bathroom.
都有人告诉他洗手间在哪
He has no rhythm. That's what I mean.
他毫无节奏感 我意思是
But seriously, I love the whites.
不过说真的 我很喜欢白人
No, but seriously, Jay is quite the environmentalist.
不 说真的 杰是不折不扣的环保人士
Just this last year, he recycled a gift of mine --
去年 他就把我送他的礼物回收利用了
a wonderful book about wine.
是一本关于上等红酒的好书
I-I don't want to say my father is old,
我不想说我爸年纪很大
but he remembers panicking at Y-1-K.
不过他对1000年电脑千年虫的恐惧还记忆犹新
My dad is old.
我爸很老了
How old is he?
他有多老
He's so old that when he started using it,
他一开始用白宫H牌痔疮膏那个年代
it was called Preparation G.
那还叫白宫家御用古方痔疮膏
Enough!
够了
This is terrible!
你们太过分了
I don't know why any of you people think this is funny!
我不懂你们为什么觉得好笑
You may think these are jokes, but it's way too real.
你们可能觉得这些只是玩笑 但其实太真实了
We need to respect Grandpa instead of cutting him down.
我们应该尊敬外公 而不是揭他老底
None of us really knows how much time he has left.
没人知道他还能活多久
Do you really want these to be the last words he hears?
你们真的希望这是他人生最后听到的话吗
Well, now I feel like hell.
现在我难受死了
And that's how you roast! Bam!
这才叫吐槽 炸裂
I don't understand why adults make such a big deal
我不懂大人为什么把生日
about their birthdays.
搞得那么隆重
So this year, I asked for nothing.
所以今年 我没有任何要求
No party, no fuss.
不搞派对 不搞活动
Just a quiet night by myself,
一个人静静度过那晚
with my thoughts, all alone.
与我的思想独处
Okay.
好了
Just as I had hoped, Mitchell is miserable.
跟我希望的一样 米奇尔凄惨到不行
He said he didn't want a party,
他说他不想办派对
but it's like when you write "No gifts" on an invitation
但这就跟你在邀请函上写"不用送礼"
but you secretly want everyone to bring something
其实暗中希望所有人都带大份
big and expensive, Jotham.
又昂贵的礼物来一样 约坦
I made a heartfelt toast at your party.
我在你的派对上发表了真诚的祝酒辞
Yes, and those 12 words were just as generous
没错 那12个词跟其他人带来的实体礼物
as the actual physical gifts everyone else brought.
同样慷慨大方
Okay, I'm gonna go in.
好 我要进去了
When you hear me say "Mitchell, you're not alone,"
你们听到我说"米奇尔 你不是一个人"后
that's when you come in and you yell "Surprise."
你们就冲进来大喊"惊不惊喜"
We know what to say.
我们知道该说什么
Mm. Do you?
你真的知道吗
- How you doing? Okay? - ‭Yeah.
-你怎么样 还好吗 -嗯
Now do you see what it's like to spend your birthday alone?
现在你知道独自过生日是什么样了吧
I do. And it's...
知道了 这...
- Yeah. - ‭...amazing.
-对 -简直太棒了
- What? ‭- Cam, thank you. Thank you.
-什么 -小卡 谢谢你 谢谢你
For once, you heard me and gave me exactly what I wanted
你终于有一次听进去我的话 给我我想要的
instead of what you thought I should want.
而不是你以为我该想要的
Honey, this is the best birthday present ever.
亲爱的 这是我收到过最棒的生日礼物
- It is? ‭- Yes!
-真的吗 -真的
Oh, and you've -- you've got to be relieved, too.
你一定也松了一口气吧
I mean, every time we hang out with our friends,
我们每次跟那群朋友玩
they leave and you spend the rest of the night
他们走后 你都花一整晚
complaining about how every single one of them annoys you.
抱怨他们每一个人都哪里惹到你了
I don't know what you're talking about!
我不知道你在说什么
Oh, please. Jotham's cheap. L'Michael has bad breath.
少来 约坦很小气 勒迈克有口臭
That doesn't sound like me!
我才不会说这种话
Antonio's weave is falling apart.
安东尼奥的编发都快散架了
Vincent's a sloppy drunk.
文森特喝醉后都失控
Oh, oh, Jeffrey won't stop telling
还有 杰弗里每次都把女星
his one Bernadette Peters story.
伯纳黛特·彼特斯的同个故事拿出来讲
You're the sloppy drunk!
你喝醉后才失控呢
Surprise!
惊不惊喜
Here's a thing I realized --
我发现了一件事
you can't get older if you never have birthdays.
只要不过生日 就永远不会老
♪ Happy birth-- ♪
♪ 祝你生日... ♪
What'd I tell you?
我说什么来着
I thought this would be the year.
我以为今年她终于会坦然接受
I told my family I just wanted my birthday
我之前跟家人说 今年生日
to be me and Dylan this year because at the time,
我只想跟迪兰两个人过 因为当时
I was still keeping my pregnancy a secret,
我还没告诉家人我怀孕了
and I knew they'd get all suspicious
我知道他们见到我不喝酒
about why I wasn't drinking.
肯定会开始怀疑
What was I going to say?
我能怎么说
"I can't drink because I have work in the morning"?
"我要早起工作所以不能喝酒"吗
There's no way they'd believe that.
他们才不可能相信
Here. I got you a present.
给 我给你准备了礼物
Thank you!
谢谢你
Get out!
不是吧
Gucci baby sneakers!
古琦婴儿鞋
They're adorable.
真可爱
Our baby's gonna be so hot.
我们的宝宝会很性感的
Personally, I think it's weird
就我个人来说 我觉得这很怪
that there are shoes for someone who can't walk.
宝宝还不会走路为什么要穿鞋
But you know what, Haley?
但你知道吗 海莉
I love that we're pregnannnt --
我们怀了宝宝我真高兴
Hello!
你们好
What are you guys doing here?
你们俩怎么会在这
At the restaurant? We got a --
在这间餐厅吗 我们
- We got a Groupon, but we -- - ‭Us too.
-我们买了团购券 -我们也是
Yeah, we j-we just saw that you were over here.
我们只是看到你们俩在这边
- Wanted to say happy birthday. - Happy birthday.
-想过来说声生日快乐 -生日快乐
Didn't mean to overhear.
我们无意偷听
You didn't overhear anything.
你们什么都没听到
We were talking about a TV show.
我们刚才说的是电视剧
Oh, well, then, what's-what's up
那这些
with these little baby shoes, then?
这些婴儿鞋是怎么回事
These are-these are not baby shoes.
这些不是婴儿鞋
‭No, they're, um...
不是 这些是
We are starting a business
我们要创业
for people who cannot afford full-size designer wear.
卖这些给买不起正常尺寸奢侈品的人
Oh. Well, as much as that does sound like you, I --
尽管听起来像是你会做的事 我
Okay.
好吧
- I'm pregnant. - Oh, my God.
-我怀孕了 -我的天
That's exciting!
太令人激动了
- Is it? - ‭We think so.
-是吗 -我们觉得是
But we have not told my parents yet,
但我们还没告诉我父母
so please don't say anything.
所以拜托什么都别说
Oh, honey, I could keep your secret forever,
亲爱的 我可以永远为你保守秘密
but just so you know, he can't.
但你得知道 他做不到
Yeah, I'm weak.
是的 我嘴不严
Yeah, you got maybe three, four days tops.
他最多只能忍住三四天
- What? - ‭Yeah.
-什么 -是的
Okay. Well, these were from us, but...
好吧 这些本来是我们送的 可是
Yeah, she can't have it. She's pregnant.
她不能喝酒 她怀孕了
Okay, there you go. See?
这就说了 你瞧
Now, you listen to me.
你给我听好
My roller-coastering hormones
我过山车一样的荷尔蒙
cannot handle another lecture from my mother right now,
现在不能应付我妈再对我说教
so you are going to tell me a secret
所以你得告诉我一个秘密
that I will reveal to everyone if you ever spill mine!
假如你泄密 我就告诉所有人
Yeah, but I don't have any secrets.
可我没有任何秘密
Uh, when he dresses as Fizbo,
他扮成费兹波的时候
he puts the makeup everywhere.
全身每一处地方都要化妆
You're the best.
你最好了
Because of the whole 21 thing,
因为21岁生日是件大事
people don't think turning 20 is a big deal.
人们不觉得20岁生日有多重要
But it's all I've been thinking about for the last three years.
但过去三年里我脑子里只想着这件事
Three years ago, I came in here,
三年前 我到这家店来
and when I saw you, I fell in love.
一看到你就爱上了你
The kind of love that punches you in the gut
是那种对人冲击很大
and makes you wanna be a better man.
让我想变得更优秀的爱情
But when I asked you out, you said,
但我约你出去时 你说
"Sorry, kid. You're cute,
"抱歉 孩子 你很可爱
but I don't date teenagers."
但我不跟青少年约会"
Well... check it out.
你看
Happy birthday!
生日快乐
But now I don't date men.
可现在我不跟"男人"约会了
Well...looks like I've got a decision to make.
看来我有个重大决定要做
On my birthday this year,
我今年过生日时
I really got a sense of what people think of me.
真的明白了人们是怎么看我的
Which is...
那真是
so great.
好啊
This is from me and the boys.
这是我和小伙子们合送的
Gloria got you her own gift.
歌洛莉亚单独给你准备了礼物
Wow, this is wrapped so nicely!
包装得真精美
I did that.
是我包的
It's a lost art in this modern age
在当代是门失落的艺术
where people simply click and ship gifts over the Internet.
人们点击几下就在网上把礼物送出去了
Papi, just be normal.
宝贝 正常点
Let's see. It is, uh...
我们看看 这是
some kind of silk pillow?
真丝枕头吗
Well, it's more than that.
不止如此
See, there's a switch on the side,
你看 侧面有一个开关
and when you lay on it, it-it plays ocean sounds for you.
躺上去时能播放大海的声音
You know, I-it helps you relax.
能帮助你放松
At least it's not a re-gift.
至少不是转送别人的礼物
- How do you live with this? - ‭I...
-你怎么能忍受跟他过日子 -我
Tell you what.
这样吧
How about we do one more gift, and then
不如我们再拆一个礼物
we take a break for cake and do the rest after? ‭Yeah.
-然后吃蛋糕休息一下再拆 -好
Here, Mrs. Dunphy. This is from me and Haley.
给 邓菲太太 这是我和海莉送的
Mm, thank you, Dylan.
谢谢你 迪兰
Although I have to say,
但我不得不说
you have given me enough gifts this year already.
今年你们已经给我足够的大礼了
Again, I'm very sorry about impregnating your daughter.
我再次为搞大您女儿肚子的事道歉
Yeah.
是啊
What is this?
这是什么
It's an aromatherapy machine.
是台香薰机
See, you put in oils
你把精油加进去
that are supposed to help you with the stress of the day.
应该能帮你缓解一天的压力
Alright, well... let's see.
好吧 我们看看
So far, I have gotten a spa day,
目前为止 我收到了全天水疗
three massages,
三份按摩
a meditation class, an ocean pillow,
冥想课 海洋枕头
a rage bat, and a little machine
发泄球棒 和一台小机器
that's supposed to trick my nose into calming me down.
欺骗我的鼻子让我平静下来
Why does everyone think I'm so tense?
为什么每个人都觉得我精神紧绷
You bit through your night guard.
你的夜间牙套都咬烂了
You're squeezing me too hard.
你把我勒得太紧了
And last week, you made the pharmacist cry.
上周 你把药剂师骂哭了
That's because he wouldn't sell me any more Sudafed.
那是因为她不肯再卖我速达菲
The entire family was sick.
全家都病了
I was not cooking meth.
我不是要制冰毒
该鼻炎 过敏药含有能制冰毒的部分材料
You know what? I don't even want cake.
你们知道吗 我根本不想吃蛋糕
I really don't appreciate being criticized like this,
我真的不喜欢你们这样评判我
especially on my birthday.
特别是在我生日这天
Um, that's my gift. Open later.
那是我的礼物 晚点再拆
Manny and I share a birthday,
曼尼和我同一天过生日
so I always do something big to get attention.
所以我总是大张旗鼓博取注意
Look! No hands!
快看 不用手扶
- Way to go, kid! - ‭Bravo, papi!
-做得好 孩子 -太棒了 宝贝
Hey, guys! Check it out.
大伙 快看
Unicycling to my piano lesson.
我骑独轮车去上钢琴课
Wow! We're so proud of you!
我们真为你骄傲
Now, that's impressive.
太厉害了
Happy birthday, Joe!
生日快乐 乔
It was!
原本挺快乐的
It goes without saying
不用说大家也知道
I'm the best performer in the family.
我是家族里最优秀的表演者
This year, for my birthday, I decided to have a talent show
我今年过生日时 决定办一场才艺演出
so they all start saying it.
好让大家都开始称赞这事实
Wait.
等等
It's a talent show? I-I didn't know that.
今天是才艺演出吗 我都不知道
It said so on the invitation.
邀请函上写了啊
Mitchell?
米奇尔
I only skimmed it.
我就随便扫了一下
This is a disaster.
这下糟了
We didn't prepare anything!
我们可什么都没有准备
Carolina in the Morning - Gus Kahn
♪ Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina ♪
♪ 没有什么能比卡罗莱纳的早晨 ♪
♪ In the morning ♪
♪ 更加美妙 ♪
♪ No one could be sweeter than my sweetie... ♪
♪ 没人能比我的挚爱更加甜美 ♪
I can't believe they had matching vests in their car.
真不敢相信他们车里有成对的马甲
Uncle Grumpy, why are you so angry?
暴脾气叔叔 你为什么这么生气
Because the President wants to build a wall!
因为总统想建隔离墙
Ay, yeah, that is very sad.
是啊 是挺悲哀的
Sad for me,
只是对我来说
because I have no money and I am ugly.
因为我又没钱又丑
For you, he would let you in because you have money
你不一样 他会让你进来的 因为你有钱
and you have the boobs.
还是大胸美女
I never thought Uncle Grumpy would go political.
我都不知道暴脾气叔叔会讲政治哏
I knew I wasn't ready!
我就知道我还不行
‭♪ Butterflies all flutter up ♪
♪ 蝴蝶翩翩起舞 ♪
‭♪ And kiss each little buttercup... ♪
♪ 亲吻美丽花朵 ♪
Stella, walk in a circle.
斯黛拉 转圈圈
Stella, sit.
斯黛拉 坐下
Bang!
Ohh. Ah. Close, Dad.
可惜差一点哦 爸
No, I taught her to go for the gun.
没有 我就是教她抱住枪口
The banjo scares me ever since
自从我看了那部恐怖片
I saw that creepy film.
班卓琴就给我留下了阴影
Wait. What was it called, again?
等等 那个电影叫什么来着
"Deliverance"?
《激流四勇士》吗
2011年上映的布偶喜剧电影
No. The Muppet Movie.
不是 是《布偶大电影》
He was a three-toed tree toad, but a two-toed toad was she.
他是三趾树蛙 她是两趾树蛙
The three-toed tree toad
三趾树蛙
tried to win the two-toed shetoad's heart,
想得到两趾树蛙的心
for the three-toed tree toad loved the ground
因为三趾树蛙喜欢
that the two-toed tree toad trod.
两趾树蛙脚下的土地
"...tree toad trod." And sent.
"树蛙脚下的土地" 发送
Stop it!
太厉害了
Fastest thumbs in the West!
西部最快拇指
♪ If I had Aladdin's lamp for only a day ♪
♪ 如果我能有一天拥有阿拉丁神灯 ♪
♪ I would make a wish, and here's what I'd say ♪
♪ 我会许个愿 这是我要许的愿望 ♪
♪ Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina ♪
♪ 没有什么能比卡罗莱纳的早晨 ♪
♪ In the mooorniiing ♪
♪ 更加美妙 ♪
As you all know, Sherry and I met
大家都知道 雪莉和我是因为我们
and fell for each other over our love of improv.
对即兴表演共同的爱而相遇相爱
So, we're at a romantic restaurant.
那么现在 我们是在一个浪漫的餐厅
Okay.
好的
That dinner was delicious.
晚餐很好吃
I can't believe you chose this place.
我真不敢相信你选了这个地方
The chef is my ex-boyfriend.
这里的主厨是我前男友
The crazy one?
疯子前男友吗
Yes.
是的
He's very jealous,
他嫉妒心很强
and I'm scared he did something to your food.
我担心他对你的食物动了手脚
I am feeling a little funny.
我感觉有点不太好[搞笑]
I wish this were a little funny.
我倒希望这能稍微搞笑点
I-Is this room spinning? I --
这个房间在转吗 我
No.
没有
I was afraid of that.
我怕是中毒了
Well, then I better do this before it's too late.
那我最好趁还来得及赶紧做了
And this part is real.
这一部分是真的
Sherry Shaker,
雪莉·夏克尔
I used to be a one-man show,
我以前都是独角戏
and then you entered from stage left,
直到你从舞台左侧进场
and I fell in love.
我坠入爱河
I want you
我希望
to be my scene partner forever.
你能永远做我的屏幕伴侣
Darling, let's force our friends to sit through
亲爱的 让我们一起让朋友们见证
the rest of our lives together.
我们的余生
Will you marry me?
你愿意嫁给我吗
Oh, my God.
我的天
Manny!
曼尼
No!
不要
Why would you do this?!
你为什么要这么做
You gotta be feeling better about that piano.
至少现在你的钢琴表演不是最糟心的了
I'd rather not talk about my birthday this year.
我都不想聊我今年的生日
♪ Happy birthday, dear Lily ♪
♪ 祝你生日快乐 亲爱的莉莉 ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ 祝你生日快乐 ♪
I still can't believe Sherry said no
我还是不敢相信雪莉拒绝了我
and broke up with me.
还跟我分手
What does he expect? He's 20 years old.
那他想怎么样 他现在才二十岁
He proposed in front of his family at a pretend restaurant.
在全家人面前搞了个想象的餐厅求婚
Whatever happened to "Yes and"?
说好的"我愿意"情节呢
Jay, I've tried everything.
杰 我什么都试过了
Please say something to him that will make him feel better.
你快说点什么能让他好受点的话吧
Fine.
行吧
Kid, let it go.
孩子 别想了
It was four days ago.
都四天了
Alright, let's make a wish!
好了 来许个愿
I wish I were dead.
我希望我死了
Alright.
好啦
There we go.
许完了 挺好
Haley and I have had this plan for years
海莉和我计划了好多年
that when I turn 21, we'd hit the bars together.
等我21岁的时候 我们要一起去酒吧
But since she's pregnant, I was drinking for two.
但是因为她怀孕了 我算是在喝两人份
Technically, four.
准确地说 四人份
Let me tell you something, Haley Dunphy.
我告诉你 海莉·邓菲
Do you know how much I admire you?
你知道我有多佩服你吗
‭Do you?
知道吗
So much!
五体投地
While I was working my butt off,
我忙上忙下累得像狗一样
you were out there having fun!
你却能在外面逍遥自在
Not worrying about anything --
无忧无虑
not school, not work...
不想学校 不想工作
not condoms.
不想避孕
Look at you -- all preg-a-nant.
看看你 挺着大肚子
Maybe I should have Bill come get me pregnant.
或许我应该让比尔也把我肚子搞大
Then we can be pregnant together! That would be fun!
这样我们就可以一起怀孕了 那多有意思
Where's my phone?
我的手机呢
I'm gonna text him to come get me pregnant.
我要给他发短信让他过来搞大我肚子
You know what?
你知道吗
It's 2000-something.
都什么时代了
I'm gonna get him pregnant!
是我要搞大他的肚子
I miss drinking.
我真想念喝傻的日子
Unlike some people, I love my birthday.
不像其他人 我喜欢我的生日
It's the one day a year that can be all about me.
这是一年中可以以我为中心的一天
So, um, I thought it would be fun
好了 我觉得我们每个人轮流
if we all went around the room
讲讲自己爱小卡哪一点
and say what we love about Cam.
肯定很有意思
Well, that's out of nowhere, but if you insist.
这可真是意外 不过你要坚持的话就来吧
Haley, why don't you go first?
海莉 不如你先开始
Oh, me? Okay.
我吗 好的
Well, um... I love Uncle Cam
这个嘛 我爱小卡舅舅
because he is fun and dresses with flair.
因为他很有意思而且穿衣有品
Oh, my gosh.
真不好意思
And, uh, I love that he makes my Uncle Mitchell happy.
还有 我也爱他让米奇尔舅舅很幸福这点
Oh, also, I love that you guys were the first ones
还有还有 我爱你们 因为你们最先知道
to find out I was pregnant and you never judged me.
我怀孕了却没有给我讲大道理评判我
Wait a minute. What are you talking about?
等一等 你这话什么意思
I thought we all found out at the same time.
我以为我们是同时知道的
Oh, uh... Well...
这个嘛
Mitchell, you knew she was pregnant and you didn't tell me?
米奇尔 你早知道她怀孕了却没有告诉我
I didn't think it was my place.
我觉得这件事不该由我向你开口嘛
Anyway, who's next?
好啦 下一个是谁
"What I love about Cam is..."
谁来说"我最爱小卡的是他..."
I just wish you would have my back just once.
我只是希望你起码能有一次在背后支持我
I don't think she's been using my gift.
看来她没有用我送她的"按摩器"
- ♪ Happy birthday to Cam, happy... ♪ - Stop. Drop it.
-♪ 祝小卡生日快乐 ♪ -停 别唱了
Welcome to my world.
欢迎来到我的世界
At my birthday, all anyone cared about was weepy Manny
我生日的时候 大家只在乎爱哭鬼曼尼
'cause Sherry broke up with him.
被他女朋友给甩了
She has a boyfriend now.
她现在有新男朋友了
Way to go, Lily.
干得漂亮 莉莉
Way to go!
干得漂亮
时至今日
How old are you?
您老贵庚啊
I turn 51 in, uh...
快51了 再...
this many days.
这么多天就是了
My dad had a midlife crisis, too.
我老爸也有过中年危机
I have a hamster at his condo.
我在他的公寓里有只仓鼠
No. N-No midlife crisis.
不 不是中年危机
I just think you're -- you're never too old to learn.
我只是觉得... 人活到老学到老嘛
Just stay away from my mom.
求你高抬贵手 别靠近我妈
She has a thing for losers.
我妈对废柴没有抵抗力
Are you okay?
你还好吗
Should we take you to the hospital?
我们是不是该带你去医院了
Yeah, the contractions are getting closer together.
对啊 阵痛的间隔越来越短了
No. Dad is next.
不行 老爸是下一个
I can hold it for a few minutes, okay?
我可以再为他多忍几分钟
I don't want to screw this up for him.
我不想搞砸他的发表会
Yikes. Hate to follow that.
要命 在那之后出场也太惨了
What are you gonna dazzle us with?
兄台你准备用那首曲子技惊四座
"Fur Elise."
《致爱丽丝》
In which key -- "B" obvious?
哪个调 荒腔走调的调吗
Next up, the only student of mine who shaves.
下一位 是我唯一会剃胡子的学生
Phillip Dunphy.
菲尔·邓菲
When I turned 50, I vowed to do some things
当我满50岁的时候 我发誓要做一些
to take me out of my comfort zone
走出自己舒适圈的事情
and keep me on my toes, and I want to thank my family
让自己不会松懈倦勤 在此我想感谢我的家人
for being my biggest cheerleaders.
永远当我最大的拉拉队
I love you, too, honey.
我也爱你 闺女
No, Haley's going into labor!
不是 海莉要生了
We've got to get her to the hospital, honey!
我们得送她去医院了 老公
Oh! I tried to hold it! I'm sorry, Dad!
我试着忍住了 对不起 老爸
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, everyone!
天啊 抱歉了 各位
Convenient.
真"巧"啊
Yes! Great! Come on!
好 太棒啦 走
Great work, honey.
亲爱的 你真棒
Tell your mom I say hi.
替我跟你老母问声好
Dylan!
迪兰
Is everything okay?
一切都还好吧
No.
Everything's amazing.
是一切都太美妙了
Why would you say it that way?
你干嘛这么吓人啊
Haley's fine.
海莉没事
She was so brave.
她好勇敢
And the babies are great!
孩子们也很棒
I can't wait to see them!
我都等不及要见他们了
As soon as they're done getting checked out.
等他们接受完检查就行了
I'm gonna go get them now.
我现在去把孩子抱来
Wait, wait.
等等
What about the sex?
性[别]呢
Doctor says not for six weeks.
医生说我跟海莉得起码休息六周
Is this the Dunphy suite?
请问这里是邓菲房吗
Oh, how's the mommy?
孩子的妈怎么样啦
Hand sanitizer, everyone. Here you go.
消毒液 各位 都来用
How you doing, kiddo?
你还好吗 孩子
A little tired. I overdid it last night.
有点累 我昨晚太操劳了
I don't think he was talking to you, buddy.
儿子 我觉得他不是在问你
It's overwhelming.
有点心力交瘁
Just feeling so many different emotions.
心里有点五味杂陈
I'm also doing great.
我还挺棒的
I have a son and a daughter,
我生了一个儿子一个女儿
and once they washed them off, they were really cute.
等他们把孩子弄干净就行了 他们超可爱
Oh, what are their names?
打算起什么名字呢
We're gonna put a pin in that until the drugs wear off.
我们打算先不决定 等麻醉过了再说
Nobody needs grandchildren named Pixar and Coachella.
没人的孙子们应该被起做皮克斯与科切拉
皮克斯是动画工作室的名字科切拉是每年在加州举办的音乐节的名字
Phil, this is for you.
菲尔 这是给你的
It's a...little early birthday present.
是... 提前给你的生日礼物
And I admit, this one is a re-gift.
而我承认 这礼物是转送的二手货
"World's Best Grandfather."
"世上最棒的外公"
It's the mug I gave you when Haley was born.
这是海莉出生时我送给你的杯子
You kept it all these years.
你这些年来居然一直留着
Yeah. But, uh... it's yours now.
是啊 但是... 现在是你的了
I don't need it anymore. I got a new title.
我用不上了 我有个新头衔
"Great grandma"?
"外曾祖母"吗
Oh, hell. I grabbed the wrong one.
靠 我买错个了
Here.
给你
I'm going to count to three.
我就数到三
Yeah.
好的
Hey, how was your recital, Phil?
发布会怎么样了 菲尔
Oh, I messed it all up for him.
我把场面搞得一团乱
Sorry about that, Dad.
抱歉了 老爸
I-I know that was your big goal for the year.
我知道那是你今年的大目标
I have a better one now.
我现在有个更大的目标了
Mi ano fue hermoso.
米阿莫费黑摸索[西语]
My year was beautiful.
我今年很美
"Año" means "year."
"阿诺"才是"年"
"Ano" means "Anus."
"阿莫"是"屁眼"
Still works.
还是通啦
Hey, everybody.
各位
Ay, where are the babies? I want to see them.
孩子们呢 我想见见他们
There's no easy way to say this.
这件事很难跟你们开口
Mitch and Cam have a whole thing they want to do.
但米奇尔跟小卡说想表演一段
Oh, God. It's worse than I thought.
天啊 比我想的还惨
♪ Nants ingonyama bagithi baba ♪
♪ 爸爸 有头狮子出生了 ♪
电影《狮子王》经典歌曲《生命的循环/生生不息》是狮子王向万兽介绍自己刚出生儿子时的配乐
Oh, my God! I love it so much!
天啊 我爱死了
♪ It's the circle of life ♪
♪ 是生命的循环 ♪
I can't believe they had matching robes in their car.
真不敢相信他们车里有成对的袍子
♪ And it moves us all ♪
♪ 带领着我们向前 ♪
They're so beautiful!
他们真是太美了
♪ Through despair and hope ♪
♪ 穿越绝望与希望 ♪
Good job.
你做得很棒
You're both gonna get dog beds.
你们两个都会有狗狗床
♪ Through faith and love ♪
♪ 越过信念与爱 ♪
You're next, huh?
下一个轮到你啦
Okay. Okay. I'm just saying.
行行行 我就随口一说
♪ It's the circle ♪
♪ 是那循环 ♪
Good job, kid.
真棒 孩子
♪ The circle of life ♪
♪ 那生命的循环 ♪
Oh... Is he still crying?
天啊 他还在哭吗
Yeah. Has been for hours...
对啊 都哭了几小时了
I thought he cried himself to sleep.
我本来以为他哭睡了呢
Poor little guy.
可怜的小家伙
Has he eaten anything?
他吃过东西了吗
I fed him an hour ago.
我一个小时前喂过他了
It's amazing how one can be fine
真是厉害 他们一个好得不行
and the other one is so upset.
而另一个哭得这么凄惨
You go up to bed.
你去睡吧
I'll check him up one last time.
我睡前最后再去看他一回
Thanks mom.
谢了 老妈
There is my big brave boy.
这不是我勇敢的大男孩吗
Sherry booked a toothpaste commercial.
雪莉预定要去拍一个牙膏广告了
I'm going to have to see that beautiful smile all the time.
我接下来要整天看到她美丽的笑容了
There, there, let it out.
来来来 哭吧哭吧