摩登家庭 第十季 Modern Family Season 10 第7集: Did the Chicken Cross the Road

上映日期: 2,018

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: 盖尔·曼库索 / 斯蒂文·莱维坦

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 奥布里·


台词
Oh, Mitchell. Are you awake?
米奇尔 你醒了吗
Yeah, I think the lady upstairs just screamed.
醒了 楼上的女士好像叫了一声
- Should we check on her? - No, that was me.
-我们该去看看她吗 -不 是我叫的
Something terrible just happened in the shower.
我刚刚淋浴时发生了很可怕的事
Oh, God. What did you try to shave?
天啊 你又乱刮什么地方的毛了
No, I forgot
不 是我忘了
the words to "Thank God I'm A Country Boy."
《谢天谢地我是乡下男孩》的歌词
Okay, two minutes ago, I was on the back
好吧 两分钟前 我还在梦中
of a snowmobile with Daniel Craig.
和007丹尼尔·克雷格骑雪上摩托
Mitchell, I sang that song my entire childhood.
米奇尔 我整个童年都在唱那首歌
If I can't remember the lyrics,
假如我忘记了歌词
that means I've lost complete touch with my roots.
说明我完全忘记了自己的根
How could I let this happen?
我怎么会让这种事发生
Don't be so hard on yourself.
别对自己这么严苛
I'm not. This is mostly your doing.
我没有 这大部分都要怪你
Should have seen that coming.
我该猜到你会这么说
You have shamed the country boy out of me.
你用羞辱赶走了我心中的乡下男孩
You roll your eyes when I say "y'all" or "fixin'".
我一说"大伙儿"和"可劲儿"你就翻白眼
You made me take down our clothesline.
还逼我把晒衣绳丢了
I just asked that we put it in the backyard.
我只是叫你挂到后院去
You know what I have to do.
你知道我必须怎样做
- Relearn the lyrics to -- - Get a chicken.
-重新记歌词 -养只鸡
So, apparently, there's no legal reason
显然 没有法律条文规定
why we can't have a chicken in our backyard,
我们不能在后院养鸡
and-and I did a real deep dive.
我很彻底地查过资料
Okay, so this is the kitchen, which we recently remodeled.
这是厨房 我们最近重装修过
Get used to that.
习惯他这副臭脸
Okay, this is the living room.
这是客厅
家 庭
摩 登
第十季 第七集
Okay, so, you and Mom will be in the chairs.
好了 到时你和妈坐在椅子上
Me, Haley, and Luke will be on the couch.
我 海莉和卢克坐在沙发上
And the interviewer will be right here.
面试官就坐在这
Alex is up for a very prestigious government job
艾丽克斯正在申请一份享有声望的政府工作
that requires a family interview.
需要进行家庭面试
In case they bring one of those memory zappers,
以防他们带了那种记忆消除器
I've Sharpied all the pertinent information on my arm --
我把所有相关信息都写在胳膊上了
PIN numbers, et cetera.
个人识别码之类的
Oh, honey, you don't think that they're really going to --
亲爱的 你不是真心觉得他们会
Oh, do not worry, little lady. I got you covered.
别担心 妹子 我把你也写上了
克莱尔 妻子
If you really want to impress the interviewer,
假如你真的想给面试官留个好印象
why don't you try casually leaving out this completed
不如不经意地把这张我在健身房捡到的
New York Times crossword that I found at the gym?
填满的《纽约时报》填字谜放在桌上
Why bring a knife to a gun fight?
参加枪战只带把刀怎么行
How about I lay out the family heirloom?
不如我把传家宝摆出来吧
1931. Great-grandpa Ted Dunphy
1931年 曾祖父泰德·邓菲
is driving south from Modesto one foggy evening.
在一个雾蒙蒙的夜晚从莫德斯托驱车南下
He picks up a stranded motorist
他让一个抛锚的摩托司机搭了便车
and drives him to a gas station.
把他送到一间加油站
The man has no money, so Ted pays for his gas.
那个人没钱 所以泰德帮他付了油钱
The man thanks him with a quick drawing on a cocktail napkin.
那个人在餐巾纸上画了张速写感谢他
For you see, that man... was Walt Disney.
你瞧 那个人 是迪士尼创办人华特·迪士尼
And this familiar fellow is Mickey Mouse.
而这位眼熟的小伙子 就是米老鼠
Yeah, no thanks on the heirloom or the crossword, guys.
不必摆出填字谜或传家宝 二位
Let's keep it simple, okay?
一切从简 好吗
Honey, relax. You're awesome.
亲爱的 放松 你这么棒
It's gonna go great.
肯定会很顺利的
Just as soon as we get this chair back
只要我们先把这张椅子搬回到
to where it's been ever since we've lived in this house.
自我们住进来起就没变过的位置
Mom, can you please stop managing everything?
妈 拜托你别再控制一切了好吗
You mean like when she cleaned my hat collection
就像她把我的帽子收藏清理掉
out of the front closet in case the interviewer looked in there?
以防面试官检查衣柜时看到它们
Honey, you never wore those hats,
亲爱的 你从不戴那些帽子
and the charity was glad to get them.
慈善机构收下时特别开心
Maybe you should have also donated my dream
或许你该把我的梦想也一起捐了
of one day going to the Kentucky Derby
例如某天去肯塔基赛马
or Easter at a black church.
或去黑人教堂过复活节[都要戴帽子]
Hey, Alex. Quick tip. Smile during the interview.
艾丽克斯 小贴士 面试时记得微笑
I've been learning a lot about
我最近在心理课上
different personality types in my psych course,
学了不同人格类型
and you're kind of textbook borderline --
你算是教科书级的边缘类型了
all brains, no empathy.
高智商 没有共情能力
You know, Luke, we are so very proud
卢克 你这么努力学习
of all the hard work you're doing,
我们都很骄傲
and I look forward to hearing your insights
我也很期待你学完第二章后
when you finish chapter two.
会有什么样的见解
But for now, maybe you could just put that book away.
不过目前而言 或许你可以先把书收起来
No surprise you'd say that.
我就知道你会这么说
Controlling, obsessive --
控制狂 强迫症
classic Commandant personality type.
典型的指挥官人格类型
Ooh, burn.
挨损了吧
Oh, grow up, Haley.
成熟点吧 海莉
Sadly, she can't.
可怜的是 她做不到
Such is the plight of the Peter Pan personality.
这就是彼得·潘人格的困境
You're saying Haley refuses to grow up? I don't believe that.
你是说海莉拒绝长大 我不相信
Which brings us to another type, the Dreamer --
接着说到另一种类型 梦想家
head in the clouds, tends to be naive, gullible.
白日做梦 总是很天真 很好骗
I love that you're smart now.
你现在变聪明了我真开心
That's your classic game-day breakfast --
这就是经典的比赛日早餐
your carbs, fiber, your protein.
碳水 纤维 蛋白质
You throw a shot of brandy in there,
要是再来一口白兰地
you'll be ready to play in the Ice Bowl.
你就能参加67年的橄榄球全国锦标赛了
I don't eat beets. Never have, never will.
我不吃甜菜 过去不吃 今后也不吃
When you were 2, you ate a dime and a butterfly.
你两岁时连硬币和蝴蝶都吃
Now your body is a temple?
现在你的身体倒成圣殿了
He can eat a protein bar in the car.
他可以在车上吃个蛋白质棒
We still have to pick up some players that live far away.
我们还得去接住得远的选手
Gloria, this is not okay.
歌洛莉亚 这可不行
It's legal.
是合法的
教练
They have P.O. Boxes in the district.
他家在这个区有邮政信箱
And besides, everybody bends the rules.
再说 每个人都钻空子
I swear the goalie from the other team
我发誓另外那队的守门员
has been my Uber driver.
还当过我的滴滴司机 来接过我
Gloria, I'm trying to get the kid to eat his vegetables.
歌洛莉亚 我在想办法让这孩子吃蔬菜
I could use a little support.
你得帮我一把
Why aren't you dressed?
你怎么还没换衣服
You're supposed to referee two games today.
你今天得给两场比赛当裁判
I told you I don't want to do that!
我告诉过你我不想当裁判
I got my boxing match tonight.
我今晚要看拳击赛
Besides, those ref outfits are stupid.
再说 那些裁判制服傻死了
Walk it off. You're fine.
挺挺就过去了 没事的
- Move it, Joe. - You're not hearing that?
-快点 乔 -你没听出这话中的毛病了吗
So, Haley, you tell us about Alex.
海莉 跟我们说说艾丽克斯
Well, it was not easy sharing a room with a genius.
和天才同住一间房可不容易
She was always up reading and calculating,
她总是熬夜读书 计算
but she also inspired me.
但她也激励了我
When I turned 21, I said,
21岁时 我对自己说
"Haley, time to be your own woman,"
"海莉 你是时候做个独立的女人了"
and I moved into the basement.
于是我搬进了地下室
I'm sorry. I don't-I don't mean to interrupt,
抱歉 我无意打断
but I just keep replaying
但我不断回想
my answer to you about my parenting style.
我就育儿方式问题给你的回答
Oh, don't give it a second thought.
不必多想
But when I said I wanted to run away and never come back,
可当我说我想永不回头地逃命去
that was a joke.
那只是个玩笑
- Yeah, absolutely. ‭- I know.
-当然 -我知道
It's just that you wrote it down like --
只不过你很认真地记下来了
- Mom, let it go. - Okay.
-妈 别想了 -好
So, Alex,
艾丽克斯
I see you spent your summer in Honduras.
我知道你夏天是在洪都拉斯过的
Any other travel that inspired...
你还进行过哪些激励人心的旅行
Mrs. Dunphy?
邓菲太太
If you could maybe just make a little, like, L-O-L
假如你能在我的笑话旁
next to my joke, so then it's super clear.
小小写上一笔"爆笑" 就很清楚了
Australia, a camping trip to Costa Rica,
澳大利亚 我去哥斯达黎加露营过
- and a month in Europe. - Excellent.
-还在欧洲过了一个月 -很出众
Well, she does come by her wanderlust honestly.
她的确继承了旅行癖的血统
The kids here all know about my high school trip
孩子们都知道我高中时的旅行
to the Soviet Union.
我去了苏联
Yeah, but she doesn't need to hear about that.
是 但是她不需要听那些
- No, please. Continue. - In the depths of the Cold War,
-别 请讲 继续 -在冷战胶着时期
my tumbling team was part of a cultural exchange.
我的蹦床队参与了文化交流活动
I became friends with a Russian tumbler named Sergei
我和一个叫塞奇的蹦床家成为了朋友
who wanted to hear all about the U.S.
他想了解美国的一切
He asked me to -- to send pictures when I got home,
他让我回家后给他发照片
and not just touristy stuff.
而且不是景点那种
Sergei was interested in ordinary things --
塞奇对日常的东西很感兴趣
uh, airports, um, power plants, train stations.
机场啦 发电厂啦 火车站啦
His family was in the fence business.
他们家是做栅栏[防御]生意的
He said our military had the best fencing...
他说我们的军队有全世界
...in the world.
最优秀的防护
I must have sent him 50 pictures
我一定有给他发起码50张
of the perimeter of Camp Pendleton.
彭德尔顿军营的周边图
Anyway, we don't want to take up your whole day.
总之 我们不想占用您一整天的时间
You wouldn't have time to write up your report,
不然您就没空详细写好报告了
which you could title "Alex Dunphy:
您可以把报告的标题写成"艾丽克斯·邓菲
The Apple that fell very far from the Tree."
出淤泥而不染的那朵莲花"
-Thank you all very much. We will be in touch. -Thank you.
-非常感谢你们 我们会保持联系的 -谢谢您
-Thank you. -Okay, bye-bye.
-谢谢 -好 再见
Bye. ‭Fun chatting.
再见 聊得很愉快
You know what? We Dunphys clean up
知道吗 我们邓菲家只要想
pretty well when we want to, don't we?
就没有做不好的事 对吧
Are you kidding me?
你在搞笑吗
Mom, did you really have to OCD all over her notebook?
妈 你就非得对她的笔记本犯强迫症吗
And you, bragging about
还有你 吹嘘自己这么大还赖在家里住
still living at home at, like, what? 30?
都多大了 快30了吧
And Dad, well done.
还有爸你 真是干得漂亮
There's nothing that cinches a government job
没有什么比得上自己老爹是个俄罗斯间谍
like finding out your dad was a Russian spy!
更能把握住政府工作的机会了
Luke was right about all of you.
卢克说得太对了
Commandant, Peter Pan, Dreamer.
指挥官 彼得潘 梦想家
Thank you, Alexandra. It's not easy
谢谢 亚历山德拉 在这个家里
being the smart ones in this family.
当个聪明人可不容易
Don't compare us!
别拿你跟我比
Your last English paper came back
你上一次的英语论文拿回来的时候
with a Garfield sticker on it that said "Way to go!"
贴了个"加油"加菲猫贴纸
That's the second highest sticker she gives out!
那是她给的第二好的贴纸了
Another fresh one, courtesy of Princess Layer.
又一个新鲜鸡蛋 下蛋公主的恩赐
谐音Princess Leia《星球大战》中的莉娅公主
Another new name?
又取一个新名字
She's already been Egg Ryan and Chicky Minaj.
她已经当过蛋格·莱恩和麻辣鸡了
谐音女演员梅格·莱恩与歌手妮琪·米娜 即麻辣鸡
I know having a chicken isn't your dream.
我知道拥有一只鸡不是你的梦想
But if it makes you feel any better,
但是如果这能让你好受一些的话
I think I know who I am again.
我觉得我重新发现了自己
A person who hates chickens!
是一个讨厌鸡的人
They are filthy and beyond stupid.
它们又脏又蠢得要死
The momennt I can find the receipt,
等我一找到发票
I am returning that chicken.
就要退回这只鸡
But I'm not gonna let Mitchell know because,
但是我不打算告诉米奇尔
like that vile bird, I made a big stink.
因为就像那只麻烦鸟 我也是个惹事精
Oh. We're out of chicken feed again?
我们又没有鸡食了
I have a meeting at the school today
今天我学校有个
with the homecoming committee.
和返校日委员会的会议
If polling is correct,
如果投票没错的话
the new queen is gonna be in a wheelchair,
新的皇后是坐轮椅的女孩
and we already blew our ramp budget
放气球的环节超支 没预算弄残疾坡道了
on a balloon drop, so could you maybe --
所以能不能麻烦你去...
Cam, this will be my third trip
小卡 这是我这周第三次
to the feed and grain store this week.
去谷物饲料店了
We agreed that you'd be the one
我们说好了
to take care of this awful thing.
由你来照顾这只讨厌鬼
I've never really felt a connection to animals,
我从未真正感觉到和动物有感情联系
but there's just something about that chicken.
但是那只鸡很特别
The soulful eyes, the nervous movements,
那深情的双眼 紧张的小动作
the cute little splash of red on top.
头顶上可爱的红红小鸡冠
She's just likeable.
她真是太可爱了
Plus, I love going to that feed store.
另外 我超爱去那家饲料店
T-The second I walk through the door, I'm one of them.
我一走进那扇门 就跟他们成了一路人
- Howdy, Bobby. - ‭Hey.
-雷猴啊 鲍比 -你好
Smells like rain.
闻起来像下过雨
What are you doing back so soon?
你怎么这么快就又回来了
Yeah, I told you you got to buy
对 我告诉过你一次应该
more than one bag of feed at a time.
多买几包饲料
No, it's no bother.
没事 不麻烦
No, it's nice to get out of the field,
没事 从农田里出来透透气挺好的
away from the chicken...s.
还能远离鸡 群
Evenin'.
晚上猴啊
The problem is I can't let Cam know
问题是我不能让小卡知道
that I'm enjoying my new life as a gentleman farmer.
我很享受这种乡绅生活
I-I've spent our whole relationship
我们俩整段恋情里
trying to tamp down his farm-ness.
我都在试图打压他的乡野气质
Ugh, it's all the encouragement he'd need
他就差这点鼓励
to -- to move us to Missouri and go full Old MacDonald.
就要举家搬到密苏里乡下当"王老先生"[儿歌]了
E-I-E-I-no.
咿呀咿呀不要哟
Did I leave that unlatched? Oh, God.
我没给门上闩吗 天啊
Hennifer? Hennifer?!
鸡妮弗 鸡妮弗
Hey, are you Ridley? I'm reffing the 1:00 game.
你是雷德利吗 我是一点钟比赛的裁判
Hey, do I get my voucher for a hot dog before or after?
我的热狗代金券是比赛之前还是之后给
Oh...Hey. You got your whistle?
你的哨子呢
Oh, damn. I forgot it.
靠 我忘带了
Late and no whistle? Where's your respect for the game?
迟到 还没带哨子 你对这比赛的尊敬在哪
On a football field somewhere.
在某个橄榄球场上吧
- Hey, what do you say I borrow yours? ‭- Are you kidding?
-不然你借我你的 -你开什么玩笑
I just lost six weeks of school to mono.
我刚因为接吻病而停了六周课
You're on field 4.
你负责第四区
All right. Let's get this over with.
行了 我们快点了事吧
You are the referee for my game?
你是我比赛的裁判吗
You don't know anything about soccer.
你对足球一点都不懂
Take that up with the lady who forced me into this.
这话留着去跟逼我到这的女人说吧
Okay, purple, let's go!
好了 紫队 我们出发
Joe, Finn, Clyde up front!
乔 芬恩 克莱德 前锋
Lucas, Dylan, Chad in the back!
卢卡斯 迪伦 查德 后卫
Estefan, in goal!
伊斯特芬 守门
I'm guessing that Estefan is the kid
我猜伊斯特芬是那个
who lives out of the district?
住得大老远的孩子
His legs are hairier than mine,
他的腿毛比我都多
and I think he was wearing a wedding ring.
而且我觉得他戴了个婚戒
Let's get this party started, rookie.
我们开始吧 新手
Okay, they won't start unless you use the whistle.
好吧 你不吹哨他们不会开始的
Whistle! Whistle!
吹哨 吹哨
Clyde, it's open! Yes!
克莱德 空档 进球了
Whistle! No goal! Purple offside!
吹哨 不算分 紫队越位
Offside? Are you blind?
越位 你瞎了吗
He's right. Free kick for red right where the ball is.
他说的对 红队从球现在的位置罚球
Yes, free kick for red right where the ball is.
对 红队从球现在的位置罚球
And...whistle.
预备 吹哨
For the first time in weeks, Gloria had to listen to me.
几周以来第一次 歌洛莉亚得听我的
I was in charge. Ridley said so.
我说了算 雷德利这么说的
Goal, yes!
得分 太棒了
Coach, you're running up the score.
教练 比分要太超前了
You got to sub in some of your weaker players.
你得换一个弱一点的队员
How about this kid with the neck pillow? It's usually a tip-off.
那个戴着颈枕的孩子吧 这种一般都弱
I'm not running up the score. I'm winning.
我不是在超前 我是在赢
You either make the substitution or you are leaving my field.
你要么换人 要么走人
That's it! Whistle!
够了 吹哨
You're out of here!
你被驱逐出场了
Doesn't frighten me.
吓不倒我
How about that?
这样呢
A little bit.
有点吓人
Oh, hey, Haley. What's up?
你好 海莉 什么事
I'm kind of mad at my family, actually.
其实我有点生家里人的气
They keep saying I have one of those Peter Pan personalities,
他们一直说我有彼得潘人格
so, um, change of plans.
所以 计划有变
We're going to a play, not the circus.
我们去看戏剧 不看马戏团了
Wait, what?
等等 什么
Dylan, don't make a thing out of this.
迪伦 别大惊小怪
The elephant's not going to remember
那头大象不会记得你去年答应过
you promised to see him next year.
今年要去看他的
No, Haley. I-I can't hear you. Bad reception.
不是 海莉我是听不清 信号不好
Let me move up.
我往前开一点
Was Alex right?
艾丽克斯说对了吗
Had I been an unwitting -- an unwitting spy?
我不知不觉中成了... 泄露机密的间谍吗
I even dug out an old article they'd done on me
我甚至翻出以前旅行时俄罗斯报纸
in a Russian newspaper during my trip.
刊登的关于我的旧文章
Sergei told me the headline said,
塞奇告诉我文章标题是
"Young Tumbler's Mission of Friendship."
《年轻杂技演员的友谊使命》
A quick scan into Google Translate
但用谷歌翻译扫描翻出来的
revealed the truth --
真正意思是
"Famous Tumbler Denounces the West."
《知名杂技演员谴责西方》
I needed some fresh air to clear my head.
我需要呼吸新鲜空气 让脑子清醒清醒
Had I been that big a dupe in high school?
我念高中时有那么好骗吗
And if so, what was stopping them
如果我真那么傻
from trying to use me again today?
又有什么能阻止他们再次利用我
Hey, Mr. D!
邓菲先生
Hey, hey, hey! What's up, buddy?!
你好啊 哥们
Makes you crazy, doesn't it, Commandant?
快把你逼疯了 对吧 指挥官
No.
没有
So you weren't about to straighten that chair?
这么说你没打算把椅子搬正
Because if the whole world isn't completely ordered,
因为如果世间万物不是井然有序
it feels like your skin is on fire?
你就会感觉被万蚁噬心
This is literally armchair psychology.
这真是不折不扣的空谈[椅子]心理学
Luke, your label for me was spot on. I am a Dreamer.
卢克 你对我的评价很正确 我就是个梦想家
No, worse, I'm a -- I'm a patsy,
不 更糟 我是容易受骗的蠢材
a mark, a full-on sucker!
好傻好天真的呆瓜
Phil, calm down. You're not a dupe.
菲尔 冷静点 你才不是好骗的笨蛋
Have a seat.
快坐下
Sad.
真可悲
- Hey, guys. - Hey, Dylan. Sweet lid.
-大家好啊 -迪兰 帽子不错啊
- What did it cost you? ‭- Zilch.
-多少钱买的 -不要钱
Someone threw a bunch of them in the trash across the street.
有人扔了很多帽子在街对面的垃圾桶里
So, uh, Haley's waiting for you downstairs.
海莉在楼下等你呢
‭Hang on. I used to have a Panama that looked a little like --
等等 我以前也有顶类似的巴拿马草帽...
And my fedora!
还有我的软呢帽
You duped me into believing we were donating them to ISSBA,
你之前骗我说要捐给"阳敏秃美组织"
and you were just gonna throw them in the trash.
其实是要把帽子都丢到垃圾堆
But this doesn't just hurt me, Claire.
但这举动伤害的不只是我 克莱尔
What about the poor people at the Institute
还有那些"对阳光敏感的
for Sun-Sensitive Bald... Americans?
秃头美国人协会"的成员...
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Phil.
对不起 我很抱歉 菲尔
It's just that woman was coming and the interview --
只是那个女人要来采访我们
and there was all that clutter.
家里到处杂乱无章
I'm sick. Tell him, Luke.
我有病 告诉他 卢克
Save it, Claire. You think of me what everyone thinks of me.
省省吧 克莱尔 你跟其他人都一样
I'm a rube, a pigeon, a greenhorn.
觉得我是个逢被骗必中招的死蠢
Okay, Dylan. Let's get you changed and lose the hat.
好了 迪兰 去换身衣服 把帽子摘了
It's rude to block people's views
阻挡别人视线很没礼貌
where we'll be spending our afternoon...
毕竟我们下午要去...
at an adult theater.
大人才会去的剧院
I mean, we all knew
我们都知道
there was gonna be a third one, right?
底下还有第三顶帽子的 对吧
- I didn't! ‭- Okay.
-老子不知道 -好吧
- I must have left the latch open. - You probably did.
-我一定是忘把门闩上了 -很有可能
I -- I know how much that chicken means to you.
我... 我知道那只鸡对你有多重要
So much.
非常重要
And now something this painful --
如今发生了如此悲痛的事
I-I don't think I could have a chicken again ever.
我都不知道以后还有没有勇气再养鸡了
Wait, wait. T-The security camera.
等等 有监控录像
We can -- We can find out exactly what happened.
我们可以查出到底发生了什么
Oh, yeah. I...forgot about that.
对 我忘了有这个
Mitchell, Mitchell, wait, wait.
米奇尔 米奇尔 等等 等等
You're not used to the harsh realities of farm life.
你不习惯面对农场生活的残酷现实
All these animals -- they seem so sweet,
这些动物 看起来都很可爱
but it's a bloodbath at the first sign of weakness,
但一旦表现出软弱的一面 就会招来屠杀
like dinner with our friends
就像我们跟朋友吃饭时
when one person gets up from the table.
有一个人起身离席后 会发生腥风血雨
Oh, my God. Okay, well, you -- you look
老天 好吧 你来看
- and tell me what happened. - ‭Okay.
-然后告诉我发生了什么 -好
And later, tell me what people say when I leave the table.
等会告诉我 我离席后他们说了我什么坏话
Okay, well, nothing happening yet.
好了 暂时无事发生
Okay, you know, I want to see.
其实 我想亲眼看看
No. No, no, no. Don't.
不不不 别
Oh, no. Oh, no.
不好 糟糕
- Something's come into the backyard. - ‭What?
-有东西进来后院了 -是什么
I think it's a raccoon.
好像是只浣熊
- OhOh th-- Oh, the horror! - ‭Oh, my God!
-苍天啊 场面好血腥 -天啊
No, no. No, she's fighting.
不 不 她在反抗
She's fighting, Mitchell, with every fiber...
她在反抗 米奇尔 拼尽全力
- That's right. - ...of her indomitable chicken-y spirit.
-没错 -凭借她不屈不挠的弱鸡斗志
And it's over. Oh, gosh.
结束了 老天
Well, that's the worst farm calamity I've seen
这是餐厅剧院制作的 由退役球星
since a dinner theater production of "Oklahoma!"
阿布杜尔·贾巴尔主演的音乐剧《俄克拉荷马》后
starring Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
我看过的最惨不忍睹的农场惨剧
Delete. Hmm.
删除
Where's the body?
尸体在哪
Um, dragged off.
被拖走了
Well, then she could still be alive!
那她说不定还活着
W-We have to look for her.
我们必须去找她
Okay. G-Grab her favorite squeak toy.
拿上她最喜欢的尖叫玩具
Okay, well, which -- which one?
好吧 哪一个
Squirrely Temple or Lionardo DiCaprio?
松鼠·邓波儿还是狮奥纳多·迪卡普里奥
It's like you don't even know her.
怎么感觉你一点都不了解她
"Dead-end alcoholics...broken lives, and broken dreams..."
"绝望的酒鬼... 破碎的生活 破碎的梦想"
Nope, nothing about Spider-Man.
完全没提到蜘蛛侠
其实是名剧作家尤金·奥尼尔所著的《送冰的人来了/The Iceman Cometh》
Must be a different Iceman that cometh.
来的一定是另外一个冰人 不是蜘蛛侠的朋友
That's okay. It could still be good.
没关系 说不定也很好看
《送冰的人来了》
But, Dylan, you have to stop looking
可是 迪兰 你不能再盯着
at the carnival over there.
那边的嘉年华了
I'm sorry, but it just might be easier to enjoy
抱歉 但如果我知道之后
this unsparing look at life's castoffs
我们会"行"去那边 "耍"碰碰车
if I knew that afterwards,
我会更容易欣赏
we were gonna walketh over there
这出描绘人生失败者的
and goeth to the bumper cars.
残忍戏剧
I'm literally asking for only...
我只是要你花...
4 1/2 hours?
四个半小时
Look. I know you want to prove that we're mature adults,
我知道你想证明我们是成熟的大人
but look at this line.
但你看看排队的人
We are the young people here.
我们在这里就是年轻人
Whereas...
然而
At the carnival, we'd be, like,
在嘉年华那边 我们就会是
the oldest people there?
年纪最大的人
May I remind you what they said to us last time
我能提醒你 上次他们押送我们
when they escorted us out of the ball pit?
离开球池时 说了什么吗
"Excuse me, but this attraction really isn't for..."
"不好意思 这个娱乐设施不是给..."
"adults." ‭
"成年人玩的"
- M'lady. ‭- M'Dylan.
-我的夫人 -我的迪兰
Okay, we need to talk.
好了 我们需要谈谈
You bet we need to talk.
我们当然得好好谈一下
I was out of bounds throwing you out of that game.
我把你赶出比赛 是我过分了
You bet you were out of bounds throwing me out of that game.
你把我赶出比赛 当然过分了
But it was all my fault, Jay.
但一切都是我的错 杰
You bet it was all my fault, Jay --
一切当然都是我的错 杰
Don't Bugs Bunny me.
别用兔八哥那招陷害我重复你说的话
Okay. So we both like to be in charge.
好吧 我们都喜欢当掌控全局的人
But when it comes to Joe, can we both be on the same page?
但关系到乔时 我们能不能立场一致
Like this morning when I was trying to get him
比如今早我试着劝他
to eat his vegetables? Back me up.
吃蔬菜时 支持我一下
I knew I should have thrown away those beets!
我就知道我该扔了那些甜菜根
Stupid. What am I, 4?
太蠢了 我是4岁小屁孩吗
I guess we're not setting a very good example.
我们好像是没能树立起正确的榜样
Exactly! When we say no to each other,
没错 我们对对方说不
he thinks he can say no to us.
他就认为他可以对我们说不
Yeah, like for his homework, his bedtime --
对 比如他的功课 上床睡觉时间
Or something important like eating those nutritious...
或者重要的事 例如吃有营养的食物
- Whistle! - ‭Whistle!
-吹哨 -吹哨
Phil, look.
菲尔
I'm really sorry I lied to you about the hats.
帽子的事我骗了你 很抱歉
But in all fairness, you do have a tendency to --
但凭良心说 你的确是会...
This again? How I can't throw anything away?
又来了 又要说我舍不得丢东西吗
We have 100 episodes of "Hoarders" on DVR
我们家有录了100集的《囤积狂》节目
in case you want to watch them again.
你想看随时都能看
That's not what this is about.
我的重点不在这里
This is about me blindly believing
是无论谁跟我说什么
whatever anybody tells me.
我都会盲目相信
You're being too hard on yourself.
你这样太苛责自己了
You want to see the best in people.
你总想看到人最好的一面
It doesn't mean you're gonna believe just anything.
并不代表你就真的什么鬼话都会信啊
Really? What about our beloved family heirloom?
真的吗 那你说说我们珍爱的传家宝
- Claire? - ‭Hmm?
-克莱尔 -怎么
Is this real, or am I just a fourth-generation Dunphy dummy?
这是真货吗 还是我只是第四代的邓菲傻子
Well, uh, Mickey's shoulders are a bit muscular.
米奇的肩膀的确有些过壮
But, perhaps, Walt customized it
但或许是迪士尼的创办人
for your great-grandfather because he was, uh --
为你的曾祖父所特别设计的版本嘛
He was a longshoreman?
他是个港口工人是吗
He sold ladies' bonnets. Oh.
他是女士帽子的商贩
Mom, can you slip Dad's credit card
妈 你能把爸的信用卡
back in his wallet before he --
在他发现之前塞回他...
Oh. Hey, handsome.
你好啊 帅哥
Further proof of how you all see me --
再次证明你们就是...
as a turnip truck faller-offer!
把我当成脑子被门夹过的傻子
- No. - ‭Then I'll ask you.
-才没有 -那我问你
Do you believe that this was drawn by Walt Disney?
你相信这是华特·迪士尼先生画的吗
Alex, get in here.
艾丽克斯 你进来
- Alex! - No, honey, you know what she's gonna say.
-艾丽克斯 -别啊 亲爱的 你知道她会说什么
Her optometrist won't even let her wear contacts
她的验光师都不准她戴隐形眼镜
'cause of all the excessive eye rolling. - Hi.
因为她翻白眼过于频繁... 你来啦
I need to know the truth.
我想知道真相
Alex, real or unreal?
艾丽克斯 真货还是假货
Real.
真货
Yeah, it's a little off, but didn't you say
的确 是有些不像 但你不是说过
he had to draw it in the back of a truck?
他当时得在卡车货斗里画吗
And what hitchhiker would be carrying around a drafting pencil
而且什么人搭便车会随身携带绘图铅笔啊
if he wasn't some sort of an animator?
肯定是卡通绘画师之类的嘛
And who would run out of gas on the side of the road
而且谁会没油了沦落到道路一旁呢
but a starry-eyed dreamer envisioning
肯定是个满眼光芒并幻想着
the happiest place on earth?
世界上最快乐之处的梦想家吧
So...real.
所以 是真货
Also I got the job.
另外 我得到那份工作了
- What? ‭- Hey.
-什么 -很棒啊
Yeah, they just called. I'm still in shock myself.
是啊 他们刚打电话通知 我还在感到震惊呢
Oh, honey. I'm so proud of you.
亲爱的 我好为你骄傲
Oh, let me get some champagne.
让我去开一瓶香槟庆祝
Luke, help me with the glasses.
卢克 来帮我拿杯子
Alex, that's amazing. I knew you could do it.
艾丽克斯 太棒了 我就知道你能行
You say that about everything.
你对所有事情都这么乐观
- Well, I know, but... - No, thank you.
-是啦 但是... -不 我是想谢谢你
Riding a bike, my first cello concert,
学骑自行车 我的首次大提琴发表会
freshman chemistry, this job --
大一化学课 这份工作
every time I was sure I couldn't do something,
每次我确信自己做不到某件事的时候
you convinced me I could.
你都能让我对自己有信心
It's nice to have a believer in the house.
家里有一个愿意相信的人真好
I don't see her anywhere.
到处都找不到她
All right, let's maybe turn around and look over there?
转个弯去那一边找找吧
"为什么鸡要过马路"是常见的冷笑话老梗答案是"因为要去马路对面"
Okay, Mitchell, why would the chicken cross the road?
米奇尔 为什么鸡要过马路
We were never finding that chicken.
我其实完全没带他在找鸡
After an unpleasant struggle that I only won
在经过一阵不愉快的搏斗之后
after sustaining multiple scratches,
我在身中无数爪的情况下活了下来
I put it in the back seat of my car,
并把鸡放到了我们车的后座上
drove it to the egg farm, and lobbed it over the fence.
开车送到了一个产蛋场 把它丢进了围栏
They can fly a little.
鸡稍微能飞啦
Oh, your arm's all scratched up. What happened?
你的手臂上都是抓伤 怎么了
Oh, um, it's probably from when I was trying to
大概是我出手阻止
break that fight up with those, um -- those blue jays.
两只冠蓝鸦的打架时留下来的吧
Oh. ‭Oh, gosh. Oh, God.
哎哟 妈呀
Oh, man.
我的老天啊
I am all of a sudden feeling very tired.
我突然感觉好困啊
- Well, do you want me to drive? - No, no, it's fine.
-需要换我来开车吗 -不用 没事的
- Cam, watch out! ‭- Oh, my God!
-小卡 小心 -天啊
You got rid of Hennifer.
你把鸡妮弗给丢了对吧
Okay, I admit it.
对啦 我承认
I hated that chicken, and I was too ashamed
我讨厌那只鸡 我又没脸
to say anything because I -- I made such a big stink
说出这件事 因为我为了你把我的
out of you shaming the country out of me.
乡下魂给吐槽没了的事 跟你抱怨那么久
I'm sorry.
对不起
I have a confession.
我想坦白一件事
- I love that chicken. ‭- Really?
-我爱那只鸡 -真的吗
I-I didn't want to admit it because I like to see myself
我不想承认这件事 因为我想保持我自己
as a sort of, you know, sophisticated urbanite.
是那种... 你懂的 精致高雅的都市人
‭But I guess you --
但我想你...
you countrified me a little.
你稍微把我乡下化了一点
Well, you citified me.
你也都市化了我
- Aww, that's kind of sweet. - ‭It is.
-好像有点甜呢 -是啊
You know, now we just need to find an activity
我们现在只需要去找到一个活动
that satisfies the straw-chewing country boy in you
能满足你心中那个叼稻草乡村男孩
and the window-shopping cosmopolitan in me.
与我心中那个喜爱橱窗购物的都市男孩
Drive up the road a piece.
顺着这条路往下开
Now, will this horse shampoo harm a cat?
问你啊 这马用洗发水猫能用吗
Because I just -- I love the scent.
因为我... 我好喜欢这香味
Collar up or down?
领子翻还是不翻
Uh, down.
翻下来
‭You'll pay for that!
我会让你尝到报应的
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
天啊 天啊
Timeout, timeout! I just saw my reflection!
暂停 暂停 我看到了自己的倒影
I told you that churro was going to drink up my lipstick.
我就说那个西班牙糖棒会把我口红弄没
Time in!
暂停结束
Oh, my God!
天啊
Dylan, the lipstick went up my nose!
迪兰 口红断进我鼻孔了
It's really jammed up there!
断在里面深处啊
Oh, okay. Stay still, Haley.
好的 你别动 海莉
I'll -- I'll hit you from the other side.
我... 我去从另一边撞你
What are you doing?
你要干嘛
Just want to let you know, the x-ray shows no broken nose.
通知你们一下 X光显示鼻梁没断
I guess you figured out we were acting kind of childish.
我猜你看出来我们有点幼稚了
Enjoy it while you can, right?
还能玩的时候就要玩到最疯嘛
Yeah. Who says we have to race into being adults?
对啊 谁说我们要拼命长大成人啊
Why wouldn't you want to enjoy a carefree life
谁会不想享受无忧无虑的生活
as long as you could?
而且要越久越好呢
At least until the baby comes.
至少到生孩子前都能这样啊
Oh, that's years away. Trust me.
那还有好多年呢 相信我
Actually, we always run a blood test before anesthesia.
其实我们在麻醉前都会先验血
You're pregnant.
你怀孕了
We can be here all night.
我们可以在这里耗一整晚
I couldn't.
我不能啊
I was late to watch the fight at Shorty's.
我要去小短家看拳赛 都迟到了
By the time I got there,
等我到的时候
the Polish sausage was gonna be down to those puckered end pieces.
波兰香肠好的部分肯定都被他们吃光了
Listen, I'll meet you halfway.
听我说 我妥协了
When your mother's not looking,
当你妈没在看的时候
you eat a beet, I eat a beet.
你吃甜菜根 我就吃甜菜根
Deal?
同意吗
Mi amor, can I get some wine?
亲爱的 我能喝点酒吗
That was Estefan's father.
伊斯特芬的父亲打电话来了
The Green Goblins are trying to recruit him.
绿哥布林队想挖角他
I need to stop by the ATM
我需要去一趟提款机
and then go to his house.
然后去他家坐坐
When your daddy's not looking,
你爸爸不注意的时候
let's split the beets, okay?
我们就一人吃一块甜菜根好吗
Fine. I'm ready to eat these,
好吧 我决定要吃了
but can we turn off the lights
但我们能不能关灯
so I don't have to see how gross they are?
我吃的时候不想看它们恶心的样子
- Makes sense. - Good idea.
-有道理 -好主意
- Bravo, papi! - That's my guy!
-太棒了 宝贝 -我的乖儿子啊