摩登家庭 第十一季 Modern Family Season 11 第1集: New Kids On the Block

上映日期: 2,019

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 爱情

导演: 盖尔·曼库索 / 斯蒂文·莱维坦

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 诺兰·古德 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 奥布里·


台词
南极
坐标
No mail. Again.
又没有邮件
Hey, Portal, call Dad.
传送门 打给爸爸
m 211 -8 b b b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
m 211 -8 b b b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
m 0 0 b 1 -1 2 -2 4 -1 b 7 1 3 2 5 5 b 6 7 8 7 9 5 l 15 -6 b 18 -7 20 -6 20 -3 b 19 -1 17 2 17 4 b 16 7 20 7 21 6 b 22 4 23 2 25 -1 b 27 -2 29 -1 29 1 b 29 2 28 3 29 5 b 30 7 32 7 33 6 b 34 5 34 4 35 3 b 37 2 39 3 39 5 b 39 6 38 8 37 9 b 34 13 29 13 25 9 b 22 13 17 13 13 9 b 10 13 3 13 0 8
m 50 0 l 179 0 b b b 21 228 0 208 0 179 l 0 50 b 0 21 21 0 50 0
b
原创翻译 双语字幕
菲尔·邓菲
最新连载海外影视剧下载仅供交流学习 禁止商用盈利请登陆 www.YYeTs.com
♪ When the rates fall ♪
♪ 当利率降下来 ♪
♪ They will refi ♪
♪ 他们会再融资 ♪
b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
m 200 -1 l 200 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
翻译 @少年影视派 斑驳 油腻希
♪ And that's the Realtor's lullaby ♪
♪ 那就是房产经纪人的摇篮曲 ♪
George, please!
乔治 拜托
翻译 洗七里 Flora哎呀呀 无需美容觉赛太公
Why are they still crying?
他们怎么还在哭啊
Do you think they know they're chubby?
他们是不是知道自己是小胖子了
校对 新浪微博@赛太公
It took us a while,
虽然花了不少时间
but we finally named our babies.
但我们终于给孩子取好名字了
This is Poppy,
她是"茵素"
时间轴 三水
because that's my favorite flower.
因为我最喜欢的花就是罂粟花
And this is George,
他是乔治
because he came out looking curious.
因为他出生时看上去很好奇
后期 只想躺着等天上掉钱的瓜瓜
实际上是出自《好奇猴乔治》
You know, like Boy George.
取自歌手博伊·乔治
Oh, hey, Portal, answer.
传送门 接通吧
总监 生无可恋瓜
Hi, Alex!
嗨 艾丽克斯
How's my little ice queen?
我的冰雪女王宝贝怎么样啊
Didn't love being called that in high school,
我上高中时就不喜欢别人叫我冰雪女王
don't love it now.
现在也不喜欢
Hey, honey. Um, people keep asking --
你好啊 宝贝 总有很多人问我
tell me again what you're doing?
能再跟我说说你在做什么吗
Detecting the presence of neutrinos beneath the South Pole.
探测南极大陆地下中微子的存在
Yeah, you -- you can stop. I'm just gonna keep telling them
好吧 打住 我还是继续告诉他们
you're searching for the snow monster.
你在搜寻雪怪吧
Seriously, Alex?
不是吧 艾丽克斯
You can't come downstairs to talk to us?
你就不能下楼来跟我们聊吗
I've been gone for a month.
我已经离开一个月了
Wait. So, that's my hair in the drain?
等等 所以下水道口的头发都是我掉的吗
Honey, is everything okay?
宝贝 你那边一切都好吧
You look a little sad.
你看上去有点难过
Oh, no, no.
不 没有
I was sad earlier, and my face froze that way.
我之前是有点悲伤 脸被冻住塑形了
But no regrets about
但我不后悔拒掉
turning down that cushy tech job in L.A.
洛杉矶的科技公司那份轻松的工作
I mean, yeah, I miss Bill
我是说 没错 我很想念比尔
and the safety of other women around,
以及有其他女性同事在周围的安全感
but Grandpa was right.
但外公说得对
This is the time of life to have an adventure.
现在正是享受冒险的大好年纪
Is this a bad time?
我是不是联系得不是时候
Oh, no. No, this is our new normal.
不 不 这已经成为我们的新常态了
- Yeah. ‭ - We never sleep.
-是啊 -我们就没睡过觉了
Well, I know all about sleep deprivation.
我太理解被剥夺睡眠的痛苦了
The sun never sets here,
现在极昼期 太阳永远不落
- so I've been up for days. - Yeah, that's fun.
-所以我已经好几天没睡过觉了 -好吧 真有趣
- Really nice, honey. - I dream awake now.
-真好 宝贝 -我现在醒着都能做梦
Hang on a second. Haley.
稍等下 海莉
Haley, I know that you are committed to breastfeeding
海莉 我知道你铁了心坚持母乳喂养
and the book,
信奉这本书
but I think it's time that you considered formula.
但我觉得你是时候考虑喂婴儿奶粉了
It will help the babies sleep,
那将有助于婴儿的睡眠
and the pediatrician said it is perfectly healthy.
儿童医生也说那是绝对健康的
I'm living proof. I was a formula baby --
我就是活生生的证据 我从小就是喝奶粉长大的
- had a full set of teeth at six months. - Yeah.
-6个月时嘴里牙就长满了 -就是啊
But the book says --
但是这书上说...
Uch, the book.
又是这本书
What do you have against my book?
你对我的书有什么意见
It is called "Your Parents Did Everything Wrong."
这本书名叫《你父母的育儿方式全是错的》
Dr. Goode is a celebrated pediatric life coach.
古迪医生是个享有盛名的小儿生活指导师
And can you tone down the negativity?
你能调低一点你身上的消极性吗
Chapter six says that it can cause an allergy to peanuts.
第六章说这可能会引起对花生的过敏
史努比出自《花生漫画》
Oh, man, no kid should grow up without Snoopy.
天啊 小孩子都应该有史努比的陪伴长大
Sounds like a crazy morning.
听上去像是个疯狂的清晨
I miss those.
我好怀念这种生活
My research partner, Yngvar, doesn't speak English.
我的研究搭档英格瓦不会说英语
Is me who did that?
是我吗干的
Except for what he learned from reruns of "Family Matters."
除了他从《凡人琐事》的重播集中学到的台词
Guys!
各位
So that can be a little annoying
有时候那真的有点烦人
having a research partner not speak your language,
因为你的研究搭档竟然不会说你的语言
but I could also try and learn his language,
不过我可以学他的语言
which I have.
我也真的去学了
Wake them, and I kill you.
敢吵醒他们 我就杀了你
家 庭
摩 登
第十一季 第一集
‭More Spanish.
再西语风一些
If this is role-playing,
如果这是在玩角色扮演
I'd like to play the part of disgusted son.
我想扮演"被恶心到的儿子"一角
I'm making a promo video for my dog-bed company.
我要为我的狗窝公司做个宣传视频
And Stella's the star, of course.
当然了 领衔主演是斯黛拉
Today we're recording her voice.
今天我们要给它录配音
And I am doing the Spanish version.
我亲自配西班牙语版本
Who's directing it?
导演是谁
I don't know. Me, I guess.
我不知道 大概是我吧
Wow, that's a punch in the gut.
你这句话像一拳打在我肚子上
Why, Manny? Do you want to direct it?
怎么了 曼尼 你想来执导吗
Why not?
为什么不行
Some of our best artists started out making commercials.
有些最出色的艺术家也是拍广告出身的
Am I better than Spike Jonze or Guillermo del Toro?
我比斯派克·琼斯或吉列尔莫·德尔托罗更出色吗
Nope.
没有
Listen, normally I would just
听着 通常来说
cook up some fake reason why you couldn't direct it,
我会编一个理由好让你没办法导
but in this case, I have a real excuse.
但这一次 我有个真正的理由
Your old girlfriend, Sherry,
你的前女友雪莉
is the voice of Stella.
为斯黛拉配音
Jay, how could you?
杰 你怎么能这样
After she broke his heart when she got repulsed
雪莉可是在他提出了要娶她的想法后
by the idea of getting married to him?
被吓跑并伤透了他的心呢
More overwhelmed than repulsed,
更多的是不知所措 不是吓跑吧
as I remember it.
我记得是这样
She's already on our website
她已经在我们网站上
as Stella's voice.
为斯黛拉配音了
Changing that now
现在改变
could be jarring for our fans.
会让我们的粉丝难以接受
Like when they made
就比如他们把我的GPS
my GPS lady British.
变成女版英式口音
I'd rather be lost
我情愿迷路
than talked down to by a snob!
也不要被一个臭屁鬼导航
Please, Jay.
拜托了 杰
I need to prove to myself that I'm over her,
我需要证明我已经放下她了
that I can rise above it and be professional.
我可以不受其影响 做得很专业
Fine, but if your emotions
好吧 但如果你的感情
get in the way of this production,
阻碍了这个作品
you will never work in dog-bed commercials again.
你就再没有机会为狗窝做广告
Don't worry.
别担心
My only passion
我唯一的热情
is helping you realize your creative vision.
就是帮你实现你充满创造力的想象
By day's end, Sherry will be mine.
今天结束前 雪莉就会是我的了
Oh, no, which icon's birthday
不 我们今天庆祝
are we celebrating today?
哪个偶像的生日
Uh, Lauren Bacall's.
劳伦·白考尔
We're dropping tulips by her grave later,
等下我们会在她的墓碑前撒郁金香
but that's not what this is.
但这不是为了她的生日
No, I'm having some at-risk students over.
不 我有些迷途青年学生要来
- Why, you ask? - ‭I'm good.
-你们问为什么 -我不想知道
Well, 'cause I want to bond with these kids.
因为我想和这些孩子建立情感
I want them to know that even though
我想让他们知道
the rest of the world's given up on them,
即便整个世界放弃了他们
I haven't.
我也不会
I don't want to just be their Vice Principal.
我不想只做他们的副[坏]校长
I want to be their nice principal.
我想做他们的好校长
I can't believe you let this happen.
我不敢相信你让此发生
I didn't know there'd be wordplay.
我不知道他会玩文字哏
Cam asked me to speak to his students as an Assistant DA,
小卡让我作为助理检察官和他的学生聊聊
give them the perspective of law enforcement.
用执法机关的角度与他们交流一下
Truth is, I have been looking for an opportunity
事实上我一直在找个机会
to show off my new badge.
展示我的新勋章
Even the most hardened criminals
即使是最硬气的罪犯
shudder when they get a gander at --
看到也会发抖
Please don't be scratched!
千万别刮伤了
♪ With a banjo on my knee ♪
♪ 我腿上放着班卓琴 ♪
I don't care what these kids did.
我不在乎这些孩子们做过什么
- This is cruel. ‭- I know.
-这惩罚太惨无人道了 -我知道
A vice principal that plays rock 'n' roll.
一个玩摇滚的副校长
Am I a little different? Yes, I am.
我是不是不太一样 是的
I'm not like the other adults in your life
我不像你们生命中其他成年人
that are just waiting for you to mess up
他们等着你们行差踏错
so they can point the finger at you.
然后对你们指指点点
I don't want to finger a bunch of kids.
我不想指指点点[指交]小孩
That's not how I get my jollies.
这不是我欢乐的来源
Cam. Cam.
小卡 小卡
I know what it's like.
我知道那种感觉
I had issues in school,
我曾经上学时也遇到问题
and I was fingered left and right.
我也被人各种指指点点[指交]
And let me tell you, it did not feel good.
让我告诉你们 那感觉很难受
Oh, Mitchell, should we be recording this?
米奇尔 我们是不是应该录下来
Oh, yes, no one's gonna believe me.
是的 不然我说了别人都不信
How long is this gonna take, Mr. Tucker?
这需要多久 塔克先生
Oh, now, Mr. Tucker's the cool vice principal at school.
塔克先生是你们的酷副校长
Here at my house
在我家里
call me Cam.
请叫我小卡
Okay?
好吗
And this is Mitchell.
这是米奇尔
He's an Assistant District Attorney,
他是一位助理检察官
and he is our guest speaker.
他是我们的特邀发言人
He's so white he's see-through.
他白[人]到像透明的一样
Thank you.
谢谢你
We live in a society bound by laws.
我们居住在一个受法律约束的社会
Okay?
对吧
They're all that stand between order and chaos.
而法律分隔了秩序与混乱
And those who violate those laws
而违反法律的人
wind up staring at the business end of --
将会看到法律的铁拳...
It's gone!
它不见了
What, the spotlight on you?
什么 你身上的聚光灯吗
No, my porcelain clown figurine.
不是 我的小丑雕塑
It's supposed to be on this table.
它本应该在这个桌子上的
It's always on this table.
它一直在这个桌子上
One of you stole it!
你们当中有人偷了它
And on Lauren Bacall's birthday?
居然还在劳伦·白考尔生日这天
从1940年代开始活跃的知名女演员曾在成名作《江湖侠侣》中饰演扒手
Cam. Cam. R-Relax.
小卡 小卡 冷静
Uh, isn't the whole point of today not to prejudge them?
今天不就是为了不要对他们先入为主吗
Oh, please, Mitchell. They're trash.
得了 米奇尔 他们是垃圾
I know it. They know it.
我知道 他们也知道
Everybody knows it.
每个人都知道
♪ Welcome home, my sweet babies ♪
♪ 欢迎回家 我亲爱的宝贝们 ♪
♪ After escrow, get the key ♪
♪ 交好保证金后 拿钥匙 ♪
Please don't sing that song.
求你别唱那首歌好吗
Sorry, it's better than "Pop Goes the Appraisal."
抱歉 但这首好过《爸爸去房产估价会了》
‭Mom, what are you doing?
妈妈 你在干什么
Stop it. The book says you're not supposed to
快停下 书上说不应该在宝宝午睡时
make eye contact during nap time.
跟他们眼神有接触
They're babies, not Johnny Depp on a film set.
他们只是婴儿 拍片时的男神约翰尼·德普
♪ Open house, noon to 5:00 ♪
♪ 房屋参观时段为中午到下午5点 ♪
♪ Such a charming fixer-upper ♪
♪ 这间需要修缮的房子真可爱 ♪
H-o-ow's it going?
怎么样了
Still crying.
还在哭
You didn't make eye contact, did you?
你没跟他们有眼神接触吧
That can't be a thing, Phil.
并没有那种说法 菲尔
And I'm getting a little sick
而且我有点听烦了
of Haley insinuating that we don't know how to raise kids.
海莉总暗示我们不会抚养小孩
She can't be saying that about me.
她说的肯定不是我
I spent half my 30s in blanket forts with those kids.
我30多岁期间有五年都拿来跟孩子们盖毯子堡垒
You know what?
知道吗
You need to get her to go to sleep
你得去把她哄睡着
so I can put those babies down the right way.
我才能用正确的方式把宝宝们哄睡着
Our way.
用我们的方式
She's crazed right now. How am I supposed to get her to sleep?
她现在都被逼疯了 我怎么才能哄她去睡觉
I don't know. How did you do it when she was a kid?
我不知道啊 她小时候你是怎么做的
Dad, isn't the drugstore that way?
爸爸 药店不是在那个方向吗
It is, but there's construction,
是没错 但那边施工
so I got to -- got to go around.
我只能... 绕个路
Is it warm in here?
车里是不是好热呀
I feel fine.
我觉得还好啊
You know, uh, I just discovered this new station
对了 我最近发现了一个新电台
called "Winds of the World."
叫"世界之风"
Ooh, this is -- this is a good one.
这个很棒
If you close your eyes,
假如你闭上眼睛
it feels like you're right there in, um...
就会感觉自己正身处...
"Open Prairie."
"开阔大草原"
Try it. You should get some rest back there.
试试 你在后座眯眼休息会儿吧
I'm not sleepy.
我不困
Well, you don't have to sleep.
你不用睡着啦
Just, uh -- Just rest your eyes.
就是闭目养神一下
Uch. I don't wanna.
人家不想嘛
You are just grumpy 'cause you're overtired.
你发脾气只是因为你太累了
Stop saying I'm tired!
别再说我累了好不好
Okay.
好的
I know.
我知道了
Let's make a list
我们来列举一下
of all the things we want to do tomorrow.
明天都想做些什么事吧
I am, uh -- I'm gonna have some waffles,
我嘛 我打算吃华夫饼
uh, go outside,
出门
uh, make a list of all my friends' names.
列出我所有朋友的名字
There's, uh, the mailman...
有... 邮差
the lady with the ice cream...house...
开... 冰淇淋店的那位女士
Cuando te acuestas en una cama de perro por Stella,
当你躺在斯黛拉的狗床上
sabes que eres amado.
你会感到被爱环抱
It's perfect, honey. We got it.
非常棒 老婆 录好了
She's never gonna get there.
她永远都说不好了
I'll ask one of the nannies in the park to do it
我去公园里找个拉丁裔保姆来配音好了
next time I take Joe.
就下次我照顾乔的时候
They love me.
她们爱死我了
I can never get out of there without a bag of tamales.
我每次去她们都非要送我粉蒸肉带走
Well, there's our star!
我们的巨星来了
Hey, Jay. Love the script, so fun!
杰你好啊 我超喜欢剧本 好有趣哦
Manny.
曼尼
I didn't know you'd be here.
我不知道你会来
I'm your director.
我是你的导演
No reason it has to be awkward.
我们之间用不着感到尴尬
As long as you do everything I say
只要你在"开拍"和"卡"之间
between "Action" and "Cut."
完全按我说的去做
Speaking of which,
说到开拍
I've been getting quite a bit of action.
我最近"开啪"了不少次呢
And cut. Look, I'm renting this joint by the hour.
卡 听着 这场地按小时收我租金的
Can we just do this?
我们赶快开工行吗
Hi, Gloria.
你好 歌洛莉亚
演出时的常用祝福语的正确说法是"摔断条腿"
Hi, Sherry. Break your legs.
雪莉你好 摔断你狗腿
Okay, Sherry, whenever you're ready.
雪莉 你准备好就随时开始吧
Boy, am I tired after a day of playing fetch, digging,
天惹 我在公园玩了一整天的接球 挖地
and sniffing other dogs at the park.
和闻其他狗狗之后 真是累毙了耶
If only there were an American-made bed...
要是有张美国制造的床就好啦
Ugh, I'm so sorry. That was terrible.
真抱歉 刚才表现太糟了
Manny, can we start over?
曼尼 我们从头来过好吗
I never stopped..
我从没有过停止爱...
You mean the commercial. Yes.
你是指广告 好
Although, that was exquisite.
不过 你刚才表现得很到位
I believed that you're a dog.
我都相信你真是条狗了
It's Gloria.
我是歌洛莉亚啦
And you, you're embarrassing yourself.
而你 真是丢人丢到家了
- What are you talking about? - ‭You're trying to win her back.
-你在说什么呢 -你想赢回她的芳心
The unbuttoned shirt, the cologne,
纽扣打开了几颗 喷了香水
the praising of her pedestrian performance.
还赞美她刚才那乏味的表演
- It's not gonna work, Manny. ‭- Why not?
-你不会成功的 曼尼 -为什么
Because if you want someone to like you,
因为如果你希望别人喜欢你
you need to make them want your approval.
就得让他们想要得到你的认可才行
Mom, that's a tired, old way of thinking
妈妈 这种老招早就被用过八百遍了
that doesn't work.
不会有用的
Here you go.
给你
What do you think is wrong with this?
你觉得这杯东西有什么问题
Damn it, the lemon! I'm sorry, baby.
见鬼 忘记放柠檬了 宝贝抱歉
L-Let's start from the top.
从头再来一遍
And this time, not so slow.
这次语速别那么慢
Stronger.
更强硬点
Assert yourself, Manuel.
要有威严 曼尼尔
And I couldn't understand a word you were saying.
你说的话我一个字都听不清
Try to get the marbles out of your mouth.
嘴里不要像含着卤蛋
Oh, sorry.
抱歉
Yeah, whatever you need.
好的 你有要求尽管提
Wow, maybe this could work.
没准真能成
While you're up, my shoulders are a little tight.
反正你都站着了 我肩膀有点僵
You mind getting in there?
帮我揉揉好吗
I don't think you want my hands that close to your neck.
我的双手接近你的颈动脉你还有命吗
I invite you into my home,
我邀请你们到我家来
and this is how you repay me?
可你们就这样报答我
Oh, I know what you were thinking.
我知道你们是怎么想的
"He'll never miss it. He lives like a king."
"他过着帝王般的生活 不差一个小雕塑"
We didn't take your stupid clown!
我们没偷你的破小丑
Interesting you know it's a clown, Suzie!
你怎么知道是小丑 苏西
You said it three times, Cameron.
你都说过三次了 卡梅隆
It's Vice Principal Tucker!
请叫我副校长塔克
Show some respect. I'm not your mom's pimp.
放尊重点 我又不是你妈的鸡头
Okay, Cam.
好了 小卡
Cam, I-I know you like your tchotchkes,
小卡 我知道你很爱你的小摆件
but aren't these kids here so you can bond?
但你叫孩子们来不是为了建立情感吗
Hey, Alex. Everything okay?
艾丽克斯 一切还好吗
Yeah, yeah. I-I'm probably overreacting.
是的 或许是我小题大做了
It's just I tried to make friends with one of the scientists,
我之前试着和这的一个科学家交朋友
but there's a language gap.
但我们语言不通
He misunderstood and kissed me.
他误会了 吻了我
So it's a little awkward now.
所以现在有点尴尬
Uh-huh, that sounds fun.
听起来真有趣
What?! It's not.
什么 才不是
I kind of want to come home,
我有点想回家
but Grandpa was so excited about me doing this,
可我来这让外公那么激动
and I don't want to disappoint him.
我不想让他失望
Hey, you've disappointed him a lot.
你总让他失望
What was that like?
那是种什么体验
Ohh, Alex, I struggled with this for years,
艾丽克斯 我为此纠结过许多年
but I-I finally learned
但我终于悟懂了
that the most important thing is --
最重要的事是
Hey, Alex! Say "Hi" to Santa Claus.
艾丽克斯 替我跟圣诞老人打个招呼
- Bye! - ‭I'm at the South Po-
-再见 -这是南极不是北极
Okay. Alright, I've decided what I'm gonna do.
好了 我想好要怎么做了
I'm gonna turn the heat up on one of the kids.
我要对其中一个孩子发起猛攻
If they did it, they'll confess.
那孩子要是凶手就会承认
If not, the actual criminal...
假如不是 真凶
will feel guilty and step forward.
就会内疚自首
So, this is gonna be our whole Saturday?
所以咱整个周六就不干别的了吗
Okay.
好吧
Why-Why did we even buy bikes?
买单车干嘛 根本没机会骑
You took his stupid, little clown, didn't you?
是你偷了他的破小丑 对吗
I find it sad that your generation
你们这代人如此残缺又愤世嫉俗
is so damaged and cynical.
太悲哀了
It happened a few days ago.
那是几天前的事
I hated that thing.
我讨厌那玩意
It had to go.
必须处理掉
I mean, that's how collections start.
不然他会想凑成一整套收藏
I wasn't crazy about the cat cozy, either.
我也不喜欢那个猫咪保温罩
But I never intended
但我从未想过
for Cam to blame it on one of those poor kids.
小卡会错怪那些可怜孩子之一
I mean, I was just gonna pin it on the cleaning lady.
我本想让保洁阿姨背这个锅的
Where's it at, Wonderbread?!
你把它藏哪了 小白崽子
Uh, I don't know what you're talking about,
我不知道你在说什么
Mr. Tucker. I-I swear.
塔克老师 我发誓
Okay. Okay.
好了好了
Let's just, uh -- Let's all take a breath
我们都喘口气
and just remember some of the basics of the law, okay?
回想一下基本的法律常识 好吗
We're all innocent until proven guilty.
在被证明有罪之前 我们都是无辜的
Take it from someone who is packing one of --
怎么说我也是个身上带着...
oh, dang it. Ooh, I left it in the kitchen.
见鬼 我把警徽忘在厨房了
Okay, stay right there.
你们先别动
- This is lame. Let's bounce. - Okay, no.
-太逊了 我们走 -不行
No one is bouncing until I get my figurine.
在我找到小雕像前谁也不准走
But I have to get home soon.
但我必须尽快回家
I've read your file, Belinda.
我读过你的档案 贝琳达
No one knows or cares where you are.
根本没人在乎你 也不在乎你在哪
And...
喝光
done!
搞定
Oh, why?! Why?!
为什么 为什么
What is going on?
这是怎么回事
How are they still awake?
宝宝们怎么还醒着
I tried the vacuum. I tried formula.
开吸尘器止哭的招数试了 奶粉也喂了
I tried everything.
我什么都试过了
Not quite.
还有办法
It is time to break out...
是时候拿出
the big guns.
大杀器了
I know Haley banned pacifiers,
我知道海莉不准用安抚奶嘴
but I bought these
但我买这些的时候
when I thought she was gonna be a fun mom.
还以为她会是那种有哏的妈妈
Let's do it.
来吧
Look at that.
快看
It's working already.
药到病除
Old-school parenting for the win.
老式育儿胜利了
They'll be asleep in no time,
他们马上就会睡着的
unless they see each other.
除非看到对方
- Then they won't be able to stop laughing. ‭- Yes.
-那就会笑到停不下来了 -是啊
What the hell?
你们不是吧
Formula? Pacifiers?
奶粉 奶嘴
Are you kidding me?!
你们在逗我吗
This is a very weird way of saying, "Thank you, Mother,
这可真是一种清奇的方式来表达"妈妈 谢谢你
for settling down my babies.
安顿好我的宝宝
I have a lot to learn from you."
我还有很多要向你学习"
You ignored everything I asked of you!
我说的你一个字都没听
Haley, don't be so hard on your mom.
海莉 不要对你妈妈这么过分
Ohh, you!
还有你
Those pacifiers have you written all over them.
这奶嘴一看就是你的风格
Babies aren't supposed to smoke!
宝宝们不该抽烟 反差萌啊
How could you sneak behind my back like that?
你们怎么能背着我做这种事呢
Honey, we were just trying to help.
宝贝 我们就是想帮你
Well, you didn't.
好吧 你没帮上
The book says 85% of pacifier users
书里说85%用奶嘴的宝宝
grow up to be cat people.
长大后会变成猫奴
I can't believe I'm saying this, but you need to stop reading.
真不敢相信我会这么说 你真的不能再看书了
And do what?
然后呢
Do what? Rely on my instincts?
然后 靠我的母性本能吗
I don't have any. That is the problem!
我没有本能 这就是问题
Honey, everybody has instincts.
宝贝 每个人都有本能
Oh, do I?
是吗 我有吗
Because I keep waiting for them to kick in,
我一直在等着本能自己发动
and they haven't.
但它没有
And I don't think that they ever will.
我觉得它永远也不会发动了
I just -- Maybe I'm just not meant to be a mom.
我只是 可能我就是不应该成为一个妈妈
Sweetie, of course you're meant to be a mom.
宝贝 你当然可以成为一个妈妈
Listen, it is normal to feel overwhelmed. Really.
听着 感觉到不知所措很正常 真的
It -- The best parents are the ones who worry
最好的父母都是担心自己做得
they're doing it wrong.
不够好的父母
Same goes for lovers.
爱人也一样
Wait, are the babies still on the couch?
等等 宝宝们还在沙发上吗
Oh, I'm sure they're fine.
他们肯定没事啦
It's locked. Babies start rolling over at this age.
门锁住了 宝宝们这个时候会滚来滚去了
Oh. ‭Do you have a key?
你有钥匙吗
Uh, it's inside, but I hid one out here years ago.
放里面了 不过我很久以前在外面藏了一把
It's in, um...
放在
It's in a fake rock.
一块假的石头里
Can't -- Can't find it.
找不到了
It's -- It's too realistic.
那块石头太真了
Why did I spring for the good one?
我为什么要加钱买逼真的好货
I have to get in there.
我必须进去
Haley! Haley, what are you doing?!
海莉 海莉 你要干什么
Honey. Honey, be careful.
宝贝 宝贝 小心
It's impossible not to fall off of that roof!
那个屋顶每爬必摔啊
Poppy! George! Mommy's coming!
茵素 乔治 妈妈来了
Those sure look like mom instincts to me!
我觉得这看上去很母性本能
You're a natural!
你是天生的好妈妈
Now we know how she used to sneak in after curfew.
现在知道她以前是怎么在宵禁后溜进来的了
And who's hanging the Christmas lights this year.
也知道今年该让谁来挂圣诞彩灯了
- Yeah. ‭- Babies are up.
-没错了 -宝宝醒了
Somebody gonna take care of that?
没人去管管吗
When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella,
当你躺在斯黛拉的狗床上
you know you're loved.
你会感到被爱环抱
Was that any better?
有好一点吗
Where to begin, where to begin...
怎么说呢 怎么说呢
You've met a dog, right?
你见过狗 对吧
Yes.
是啊
And I know you've felt loved before.
而且我知道你以前被爱环抱过
So let's link those two ideas and try to get it this time.
那把这两种思路合在一起 这一次尽量做好
Can I get some water first?
我能先喝点水吗
I suppose.
可以吧
You should make her drink it out of a dog bowl.
你应该让她从狗盆里喝水
That seems over-the-line, but you were right.
那有点过分了 但你说得对
This is working.
这么做确实有用
Hey, Alex. Kinda in the middle of something.
你好 艾丽克斯 我现在有点忙
Okay. It's just that things are spiraling
好吧 就是想告诉你这边的事情
a little bit down here.
有点不受控制
This guy, Yngvar, keeps trying to woo me
这个叫英格瓦的人 一直送我自己杀掉的东西
with things he's killed.
来讨我欢心
Another fish. Thanks.
又一条鱼 谢谢
I'll...put it with the others.
那我把它跟之前的放一起
We're still at this? Meter's running.
我们怎么还停在这一步 时间不等人
And...action.
准备 开拍
When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella,
当你躺在斯黛拉的狗床上
you know you're loved.
你会感到被爱环抱
Wow.
太棒了
You have her right where you want her.
把她治到服服帖帖了
Now, go in there, give her a little praise,
现在过去 给她一点赞美
and then reel her in.
就能收线钓起大鱼了
It won't be hard.
这不难
This is her best performance
这是继有一次即兴表演的观众让她扮
since that improv audience suggested "Jackee O."
跟她长得像的名人后 她最好的表演了
Yngvar does seem sweet.
英格瓦确实人挺好的
I read the suicide rate here has plateaued.
我听说这边的自杀率也开始趋于稳定了
Okay, that's enough. Wrap it up, kid.
行了 可以了 结束了 孩子
Time to go home.
收拾回家吧
Oh. Thank you.
太好了 谢谢你
This has not been working out.
这边真的不太行
I mean, I just needed your permission to admit it
我就是需要你的允许才好说出来
because part of me came down here to impress you.
因为我来这里有一部分原因是为了取悦你
See you soon, Grandpa. Love you.
回见啦 外公 爱你
So?
怎么样
That was really good.
非常棒
Oh, thank God.
真是谢天谢地
I mean, it's all you.
这都是你的功劳
I've never had a director with such a sure hand.
我从来没有遇到过如此老练的导演
It's so electric.
太有魔力了
It is, isn't it?
可不是嘛
What do you say we get a drink, Brown Eyes?
有没有兴趣去喝一杯啊 褐眼帅哥
It was all happening.
踏破铁鞋无觅处
I was on the brink of a directorial masterpiece.
我离导演神作就只差一步了
This was the kind of thing that could launch me
这种作品可是能够让我一飞冲入
straight into an unpaid internship.
无薪实习的机会呢
Let's put a pin in that drink.
这杯东西可以再稍等一会
I wanna go again.
我想再试一遍
It took 63 more takes, but I got it.
虽然只再重录了63次 但我成功了
When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella,
当你躺在斯黛拉的狗床上
you know you're loved.
你会感到被爱环抱
You're a purebred. Stop acting like a mutt.
你是"纯种"好演员 别表现像个小"杂种"
Again!
再来一次
When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella,
当你躺在斯黛拉的狗床上
you know you're loved.
你会感到被爱环抱
There's pain behind this.
应该还有隐含着痛苦情绪
They spayed you without your permission!
那些人类不经你同意就把你给绝育了
It's your body! Who decided?! Again!
这是你的身体 凭啥别人做决定 再来
When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella,
当你躺在斯黛拉的狗床上
you know you're loved.
你会感到被爱环抱
- Again! ‭- When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella,
-再来一次 -当你躺在斯黛拉的狗床上
you know you're loved.
你会感到被爱环抱
And cut! We're good in here.
卡 我们很满意
Anything you wanna try?
你还有什么想尝试的吗
Not with you!
"试"也不是跟你试
Garbage. That's what I'm looking at here.
垃圾 这是我正在看着的东西
Human garbage.
垃圾人
Yeah, you're right.
对 你说得对
It's just like my mom says -- I'm nothin'.
就跟我妈说的一样 我就是个渣滓
I'm gonna join a gang, get a face tattoo.
我要加入帮派 去弄个脸部刺青
I'm gonna sell my hair for nose drugs.
我要卖头发去买毒品
No, okay, stop! I-I can't take it anymore.
好了好了 停 我听不下去了
I'm sorry. I threw away the statue.
对不起 是我把雕像丢掉的
It was -- It was just so tacky.
它... 它真的很土嘛
You guys, please don't give up on yourselves, okay?
各位 拜托你们别自暴自弃好吗
You have very bright futures.
你们还有大好未来在等着你们
Yeah, you're right.
是啊 你说得对
They sure do... in theater.
当然有啊 在戏剧界
Because this is the theater group from school,
因为他们是学校的戏剧俱乐部
The Emotivations!
引人入胜剧团
Bravo! Brava!
棒 表现太棒了
I found this in the trash the other day.
我那天就在垃圾桶里发现了
I knew you put it there and wouldn't admit it.
我知道你肯定不会承认是你丢的
So I brought some very talented young thespians over
所以我带了一群才华洋溢的悲剧演员回家
to portray at-risk youth.
来演绎迷途青年
He got you, girl!
他抓到你啦 姐妹
You know, I said I wanted to bond with these kids,
我说了我想要跟这帮孩子建立情感
and I sure did.
绝对是做到了
We had some hard-core bondage.
这可是十分硬核的"捆绑"
You're gonna get fired.
你绝对会被炒鱿鱼
This bed feels good on my weary bones.
我疲惫的一身骨头躺在这床上就舒服了
Mmm!
等等
Bones.
有骨头
- I'm gonna need money for reshoots. - Not gonna happen.
-我需要经费重拍 -做梦吧
Sometimes in life, you've got to know when to call it quits.
有时候人生中也要知道何时该投降
It's not always easy.
投降并不总是简单
It takes a lot of courage to admit your mistakes.
承认自己的错误需要很大的勇气
The only thing you can do is try to learn from them
你唯一能做的就是尝试从错误中学习
and keep moving forward.
并继续向前迈进
Anyways, the helicopter will be here soon.
好啦 直升机很快就要到了
So, I guess this is goodbye.
我想是时候道别了
别出去外面等
雪怪是真实存在的
I'll miss you, too.
我也会想你的
Do you hear that?
你听到了吗
There is no sound better than babies not crying.
世上最美妙的声音就是婴儿不哭的声音
‭Mm, we're gonna get so much sleep.
我们能睡个爽啦
Or...
又或者...
Again?
又来吗
I just feel like I could do better.
我感觉我能表现得更好
Oh, you were fine.
你表现很可以了
Really?
真的吗
Yes!
太好了
Mm. Good night.
晚安
Good night.
晚安
What?! What is that?! What is it?!
什么 那是什么 那是什么
Haley! What are you doing?!
海莉 你在干嘛
I locked myself out again.
我又把自己锁门外了
Great. Thanks for screaming.
这下好了 "感谢"你们的大吼大叫啊
Well... as long as we're both awake...
要不... 反正我们醒着也是醒着...