Oh, I'm finally here.
Oh, this has been my dream
ever since I saw "An American in Paris."
For me, it was "Amelie."
I made my mom give me that haircut.
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Happy Valentine's Day, mon cheri.
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Ah, gay Paree.
See, I told you it would be Claire.
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I had my money on Jay.
I'm in too good a mood.
I'm getting a lifetime achievement award
at this year's Expo Internationale du Closet.
Why don't they translate the last word?
I'm sure they have a word for closet.
Maybe they went on strike before they got to the end.
Monsieur Pritchett, welcome to the Crowne Plaza.
I am Bernard Busse,
president of the International Closet Guild.
Oh, God. He made the sound.
And this woman needs no introduction.
You are just as beautiful as Jay described in his e-mail.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Stella.
Oh, no, no. This is my wife, Gloria.
不 不 这是我妻子歌洛莉亚
I-I put you in the e-mail, but then it was too long.
I hope to see you both at the cocktail reception in an hour.
'Cause that's what we need. A third language.
We have an hour. We should go sightseeing.
- Maybe check out Notre Dame. - No, thank you.
-或许去看看巴黎圣母院 -不了 谢谢
I saw it back in the day,
before it was a shell of itself.
Seeing it again would only depress me.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
That's why I can't shop at Sears.
Manny, why don't you go and check us in
since you disgraced this family
by learning French instead of Spanish.
And get that room that they promised me.
Apparently some earl once slept there.
We're so proud of you, Dad.
Thanks. I only wish my old man could be here to see this.
You know, it's funny.
He stormed the beaches of Normandy,
and I'm getting a closet award.
We keep topping each other.
Who knows what Joe will do?
Hey, w-what are you doing now?
Well, you know, it's Valentine's Day,
so I think I'm gonna enjoy
the most romantic city in the world with my husband.
Phil can't come to Paris because he has to work.
It stinks, but I am still gonna have so much fun
visiting all my favorite places
from the semester I spent there in college.
Um, broker/client confidentiality
fobids me from discussing it.
The stuff I've seen...
You do not want to know.
and you don't feel too awkward about being a third wheel, maybe --
Pity invite from Mitchell?
How the tables have turned.
I'm gonna go find my favorite cafe,
have a glass of wine, and try not to be sad that I'm all alone.
Okay, great. Have fun.
You know, I heard the bread here
is healthier than the kind we have back home.
Well, how is that possible? Bread is bread.
You would think, but it's actually the way that the grain is, um --
No, no, it's -- It's the way that the -- the ovens --
Okay, look, I'm gonna have a lot of bread while we're here.
I need it to be okay.
I think I'm jet-lagged.
You know what? I might take a nap
while you go out and explore.
What was that? W-Why did your bag honk?
I think that was a phone. You know, that's how they ring here.
Will somebody answer that? Hmm? Hmm?
谁快接一下电话啊 有人吗 快
My sweaters were too bulky to pack,
but Fizbo made the cut?
Oh, come on. You know it's always been my dream to --
to bring the magic of Fizbo to the streets of Paris.
You're not jet-lagged.
You were gonna sneak out and go clown around.
You know that's not how we say it. It's "Clown about."
I-I can't believe you lied to me.
Well, I can't believe I had to.
You know, most clowns have spouses that are supportive.
I'm not convinced most clowns have spouses.
Claire was about to meet
Clive Bixby's French cousin, Claude.
The plan was simple enough.
All I did was create a fake work emergency
and wait for Claire at her favorite cafe.
Welcome to France. What is the purpose of your visit?
Just answer the question, sir!
It helps to add a little sugar...
Oh. Thank you, but th--
this is, uh, not my real name.
It's my romantic alter ego.
I'm surprising my wife.
For an American.
Oh, really? You can do better?
Many years ago, I met a woman in this very cafe.
We had a brief but passionate affair,
spending our days exploring Paris
exploring each other.
Well, I-I once took a woman
to both Disneyland and Knott's Berry Farm.
On the day we parted...
we promised to meet here on this Valentine's Day
to rekindle our love.
The chances of her even remembering --
- Claire! - Claire!
I'm -- I'm so sorry.
"Sorry"? H-How did you know I speak English?
Have a nice visit.
Um... ou se trouve, um...
What are you looking for?
Mona Lisa? McDonald's?
Both are that way.
Heads up, the portions here are normal-size.
H-How did you know I'm American? Is my accent that bad?
We're dressed the same.
There's no reason to attack me.
I think he's nervous.
He has changed his outfit three times.
If this is what it's like to be married to me, it's no picnic.
We have a problem.
I have to show you something. Come here.
Close. Earl Chambers.
Jay isn't getting the award.
He's accepting it on behalf of his ex-partner, Earl.
When the Expo called,
Manny talked to them because he speaks French.
At least, he thought he did.
In my defense, the French word for "Hotel room"
sounds a lot like "Chamber."
They said you're putting you up in the royal suite.
It used to be some earl's chamber.
That's closet people for you -- class all the way!
Ah. He's here. What do we do?
Nothing. Tell him the truth.
Jay's a grown man. He can handle it.
Okay, but if he goes for my throat,
be ready to dial neuf, un, un.
准备好打给"走 妖 妖"吧
That language. It's like a bunch of horses talking.
Look at this place. Everybody's here.
Heinrich Muler of Berlin Closet-stadt,
Susan Sadaki from Tokyo Closets and Canned Whale Meat.
It's a regular who's who.
Yeah, even when you say all their names.
是啊 哪怕你说出了他们的名字 我还是对不上
You know, I gotta tell you,
this award couldn't have come at a better time.
With my closet company gone, sometimes it feels like
I don't have anything to show for a lifetime of work,
like it didn't matter.
But now I know it did.
I'll be right back.
New plan -- I'm getting him out of here, keeping him busy.
新计划 我要带他离开这里 我吸引他注意
You go and talk to the closet people.
Make them give him an award.
Any kind of award. He won't know the difference.
- How? - Bribe them.
Blackmail them. Seduce them.
Have I taught you nothing.
- Phil? - Claire.
- Claire? - Guy?
Oh, my God. What are you doing here?
Claire, you know this Guy?
Well, um...I used to.
What are you both doing here?
I came to surprise you on Valentine's Day.
You know the guy on the plane with all the face bandages?
Claire, do you not remember
asking me to meet you here in this cafe
exactly 30 years after we parted?
I-I-I was crazy to think this could work out.
Of course a woman as magnificent as you is married.
I don't want to interfere with your day of romance.
I will wander our old haunts alone
and return to my hotel
in the ghostly embrace of our memories.
- Adieu, Claire. - Okay, cool. Bye.
-再会 克莱尔 -行了 再见
- Yeah. - Let's go.
Alright, big day. Lots of plans.
好了 大日子 满满的日程
First things first, getting into character.
mustard magnate with a flair for --
Uh, Phil -- Claude --
I-I love that you're doing all of this,
but doesn't some tiny part of you
feel guilty for ditching Guy?
I mean, he did wait for me for 30 years.
We could invite him for a glass of wine.
But I'm warning you, if he gets out of line,
Claude knows karate.
And Krav Maga. He's Jewish on his mother's side.
Let's go this way, to the museum.
I think they're expecting me back inside.
Why do you think the brides arrive after everyone else?
Yeah, I'm the bride.
- Alright, let's -- - No, no, no.
-那好 我们 -不不不
You know what? It's this side.
- So, tomorrow -- - No, no!
You know what? I'm sorry. It's this way.
Are you kidding me?!
Une table pour un, monsieur?
Oh, Claire, remember that time
when we snuck into the cellar of that wine bar?
Oh, God, we were so crazy and so young!
Not anymore. What's that, Grandma?
现在可不是了 你说什么 外婆
She's a grandma now.
Well, there's nothing more beautiful than a life creating life,
- which in turn -- - Creates more life.
Well, uh...Claire and I should get going.
I was hoping to get up to Sacre Coeur
to get a view of the whole city.
I have a rooftop garden suite at The Peninsula.
It's the best view in town.
How perfect is this?
Alright. Here we go.
In a few minutes, I'm going to be performing in the square.
Je m'appelle Fizbo.
Lui, c'est Fizbeau.
- What? - He is Fizbeau!
Guy, this suite is so beautiful.
I think the last time we were in Paris,
we had a franc between the two of us.
Oh, God! Who's Frank?
I've been lucky in business,
I guess it's turned me into a workaholic.
I must be in the office 10, 12 hours a week.
Shall we have some champagne?
I'm not really in the mood for champagne.
Lucky for us, because there are only two glasses.
Allow me to make a toast.
For allowing me to spend a bit more time
with the most generous lover I've ever --
Okay! I see what you're doing here.
The champagne, the hotel suite, that carousel ride.
香槟 酒店套房 旋转木马
You two stopped laughing every time I circled around.
I'm sorry, buddy, but it's not gonna happen.
抱歉 伙计 但这事没门
Phil's right. I'm a married woman.
There will be no romance on this trip.
I'm sorry. I've been a fool.
I guess I let myself indulge in a fantasy more than I should.
Please, let us all pretend this...
Was that Poulanc's misdirect?
A fellow prestidigitator?
- Looking for this? - What?!
Tell me you're going to visit Le Musee des Magiciens
while you're here.
The Museum of Magicians?
I'm dying to go, but they're closed
Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays --
and Mondays and Wednesdays.
Not if you know the owner.
I can get us a private tour.
Claire, what do you say?
We can pretend to saw you in half.
Hello. Hi. Hi. Excuse me.
Why are you dressed like that?
Tu es un imposteur!
You're -- You're the imposteur...
if that word means what I think it means.
He'd stolen Fizbo.
The whimsically mismatched plaids,
my trademark bold splash of pink,
He'd clearly seen one of my online clown tutorials!
Hey, guys. Fizbo again.
Just remember when you're applying your rouge to go easy.
You're an Auguste clown, not a tramp.
You know what? Give me the jacket.
I should've seen that coming.
Donne moi ce mouchoir!
You know what? Give me my wig.
And that's when it hit me.
"The Clowns of Europe."
I got this when I was a teenager.
It was my "Sergeant Pepper's."
Clown after clown pushing the envelope,
Here, I thought I'd come up with the idea, but he was right.
I was the imposteur.
If that's the word.
For my high school language requirement,
I took auction-calling.
See, isn't Napoleon's tomb spectacular?
Just so you know, when I go, I-I don't need all this.
Look. That's Manny over there.
Are they giving Jay an award?
No. They said it would set a very dangerous precedent.
And in perfect English.
Turns out this whole misunderstanding
was completely avoidable.
We need to figure out something.
Jay can never find out
that Earl got an award instead of him.
The craftsmanship, the architecture.
They say the domed ceiling acts as a whisper chamber.
What does "whisper chamber" mean?
It means I heard everything you just said.
I have to turn my TV up to 40,
but that was loud and clear!
It was easy to fit in.
All I had to do was look good and have a lot of attitude.
Paris was just like one big gay bar.
Votre pigeon, monsieur.
Ah. Bon appetit.
No. I can't -- I can't do it.
I can't do it. I'm not French.
And I-I'm not eating that.
This scarf is driving me crazy!
Cheeseburger, that way.
Cool. Thanks, man!
It's amazing how much magic they got
out of those old wands.
Today, magicians have it so easy, you know?
Well, this basically feels like a natural breaking point,
for me, at least.
Uh, Phil and I should probably you know?
If you must, but our tickets
also get us to Le Musee des Automates.
They're like robots, but very primitive.
They basically do nothing.
Um, like the one I built out of old mufflers?
Can we, Claire?
Oh, yes, can we, Claire?
Hey, Gloria. What's up?
Apparently, I'm into nerds.
He's not getting that award.
It was some kind of mistake,
he found out, and now we can't find him.
Oh, my God. Okay, I-I'll be right there.
Are you sure it's okay?
Uh, yeah, it's more than okay.
H-How did you find me?
Well, you're pretty easy to spot.
Look, I-I'm sorry I overreacted, okay?
If you want to be Fizbo, be Fizbo.
I can never be Fizbo again.
Oh, you're a moving target.
Look, I ran into the real Fizbo today,
and he squirted me in the face with water
and hit me in the head with a book.
See, here, I thought I had created
this special, unique thing,
but I'm the one that's been a fraud all this time!
I'm throwing the suit in the river!
That's littering. There's a trash can right over here.
Look, I-I gotta say, um --
I don't -- I don't think you stole anything.
What do you mean?
Well, you said he hit you in the head with a book.
I mean, I thought Fizbo was all about joy.
He is. He's the embodiment of childlike innocence.
- Fizbo would never resort to violence. - Ever.
This guy doesn't sound like Fizbo to me.
Well, he sure looked like him.
Fizbo's more than just a-a pair of big shoes
and an...un-sexy jacket.
He -- He's an idea.
If I've learned anything today,
it's that clothes do not make the man...
And you are the real Fizbo.
Let's enjoy Paris. It's Valentine's Day.
Where did you get this crazy get-up?
People are gonna stare.
So...what was your favorite part of the robot museum?
I can't decide. You go first.
No, you'll just copy me.
Well, let's, uh, let's just say it at the same time.
- The mechanical monkey band. - The mechanical monkey band.
- Le jinx! - Jinx!
O-Oh, my God. It's a painting!
- Merci beaucoup. - Merci.
Is my...hand on yours?
Yeah, but I-I don't... think we did that.
是啊 但是... 我们没有这么做吧
Well, um, I better -- better go find Claire.
Okay. W-Weird. I guess this is goodbye.
You -- You should have this.
You'll give it to me in 30 years.
I talked to Gloria.
Thought I might find you here.
It's a shame, Notre Dame.
It used to be so impressive back in its day.
It's still pretty impressive.
Just a shell of its former self.
Best days are behind it.
It'll never be the same.
It's taken some hits, but it's still standing,
and that's -- that's grit.
That's what inspires people.
That's what inspires me.
It's so embarrassing.
The whole reason the family's here
is to see me get that damn award.
You and I are the only ones in this family who care about closets.
We're here because we love you.
Let's go get ready for that dinner.
45 years is a long time to spend in one industry,
and I've accomplished a lot.
The whisper hinge brought serenity to the American bedroom.
My glow knobs revolutionized getting dressed in the dark.
And I led the charge
to standardize the angle of shoe racks.
But the thing that I'm -- that I'm proudest of...
Thank you for being here.
You're my lifetime achievement award.
- Oh! Thanks, Dad. - That's so sweet.
-谢谢你 老爸 -谢谢你的夸奖
I had a lot of fun here in college.
What are you doing here?
This is my husband.