摩登家庭 第十一季 Modern Family Season 11 第15集: Baby Steps

上映日期: 2,019

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 爱情

导演: 盖尔·曼库索 / 斯蒂文·莱维坦

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 诺兰·古德 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 奥布里·


台词
Are -- Are you awake?
你 你还醒着吗
I slept for six minutes two hours ago.
我大概两小时前睡了6分钟
I'm gonna have to take a sleeping pill,
我得去服一片安眠药
m 211 -8 b b b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
m 211 -8 b b b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
which means you're gonna have to hide my car keys,
这意味着你得负责藏好我的车钥匙
m 0 0 b 1 -1 2 -2 4 -1 b 7 1 3 2 5 5 b 6 7 8 7 9 5 l 15 -6 b 18 -7 20 -6 20 -3 b 19 -1 17 2 17 4 b 16 7 20 7 21 6 b 22 4 23 2 25 -1 b 27 -2 29 -1 29 1 b 29 2 28 3 29 5 b 30 7 32 7 33 6 b 34 5 34 4 35 3 b 37 2 39 3 39 5 b 39 6 38 8 37 9 b 34 13 29 13 25 9 b 22 13 17 13 13 9 b 10 13 3 13 0 8
m 50 0 l 179 0 b b b 21 228 0 208 0 179 l 0 50 b 0 21 21 0 50 0
b
原创翻译 双语字幕
最新连载海外影视剧下载仅供交流学习 禁止商用盈利请登陆 www.YYeTs.com
laptop, and Reba McEntire wig.
电脑和乡村女歌手芮芭·麦克伊泰假发
It's been a crazy couple days.
最近几天快把人折磨疯了
b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
m 200 -1 l 200 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
Uh, yesterday, I found out I didn't get
昨天我发现我没得到
翻译 @少年影视派 油腻希
the college football coaching job that I had been chasing.
我努力追求的大学橄榄球教练工作
I was -- I was devastated.
我 我伤心欲绝
翻译 洗七里 弄乱狂魔赛太公
And moments before that,
就在那之前不久
we got a phone call from our old adoption agency
我们收到曾经的领养机构打来的电话
with the opportunity for us to adopt a baby boy.
说我们有领养一个男孩的机会
校对 新浪微博@赛太公
So, a door closes...
上帝关上一扇门
A window opens. But do you answer it?
就会给你打开一扇窗 但是 你该去应窗吗
时间轴 三水
You don't answer windows.
没有"应窗"这个说法
Well, how fun for you. Cam made a little mistake.
你一定开心死了吧 小卡说错话了呢
后期 逆行上班的瓜瓜
I keep making lists of all the pros and cons in my head.
我不断在脑海里列举这事的各种利弊
Uh, the -- the way a baby smells is on both.
婴儿身上的气味既算利也算弊
总监 病毒瓜瓜
Okay, alright. Pros, go.
好吧 说说利项 开始
Okay, well, a baby to love. The sound of giggling.
好的 有个孩子让我们爱 孩子咯咯笑的声音
‭You know, a bigger family,
一个更大的家庭
an extra vote on whether to pull the plug on us when we get old.
等我们老了 就多个人来决定要不要拔管
I'm worried that Lily has an itchy trigger finger.
我担心莉莉个性一触即发 手抖就拔
Yeah, and another child would help us figure out
是啊 再养个孩子就能帮我们搞清楚
how much of Lily's personality is our fault
莉莉的性格有多少是我们的问题
and what's on her.
有多少是她自身的问题
It would be nice to be vindicated.
能沉冤昭雪真的挺好的
Okay, other pros -- Christmases.
再想想别的利项 圣诞节
Dipping little toes into the ocean for the first time,
将孩子的小脚趾第一次伸进海水里
the way a toddler run towards the door
以及小宝宝穿着睡衣跑向门
in their jammies saying, "Daddy!"
嘴里喊着"爹地"的小萌样儿
Okay, you'd better hit me with some cons.
你快说几个弊项敲醒我
I'm practically ovulating.
我简直快要排卵了
Okay, no sleep, car seats, diapers,
好吧 没有觉睡 车要装婴儿座椅 换尿布
coughs and colds, all -- all the doctor's appointments,
感冒咳嗽什么的 经常要去看医生
- plastic toys everywhere. - Everywhere.
-塑料玩具扔得到处都是 -到处都是
Our -- Our place is already too small.
我们家本来就已经太小了
We don't have enough bedrooms.
我们的卧室不够
Oh, God, the clock is ticking.
天啊 时间紧迫
We have half a day to give them an answer.
我们只有半天时间就要给出答复了
Okay, you know what, no thinking.
好了 别胡思乱想了
On the count of three, say yes or no.
数到三 一起说要还是不要
One, two, three...
一 二 三
- I don't know. - ‭I can't decide!
-我不知道 -我决定不了
家 庭
摩 登
第十一季 第十五集
Why is there a black Suburban outside with a driver?
外面怎么有辆雪佛兰车 还有个司机在等着
My company sent it.
是我们公司派来的
I'm manning the Helo Dynamics booth
我要负责"希洛动力"
for the job recruitment fair at Caltech.
在加州理工学院的招聘会
Look at you, being chauffeured in a giant SUV.
瞧瞧你 有巨型SUV和专职司机接驾呢
When I picture you driving, you're crying in a Prius.
我想象你开车的样子 是坐在丰田普锐斯车里哭
I do cry less when I'm driven.
别人给我开车 我的确哭得少些
And that outfit is on point.
你这身衣服也太正点了吧
Well, I mean, it's -- it's sort of a triumphant return for me.
毕竟这对我来说是衣锦还乡 凯旋而归
I spent four years there in sweats, with greasy hair,
我在那个大学辛辛苦苦念了四年 头发冒油懒得管
caring only about grades.
一心只在乎成绩
The only time anyone ever noticed me
大家唯一一次注意到我
was when I pulled out all my eyebrows during finals week.
是我在期末考试周期间 焦虑到把眉毛都拔光了
Now I have a big job, swanky apartment,
现在我有份好工作 住着奢华的公寓
shoes that cost more than my first laptop...
一双鞋的价钱比我第一个笔记本电脑还要贵
Oh, it's like a rom-com --
简直就像是部浪漫喜剧
you left a nerd and returned a hot nerd.
你离开时是个书呆子 归来时成了性感书呆子
Speaking of hot people,
说到性感的人
maybe I should go and recruit for NERP.
或许我也应该去为我们诺普公司招些人
For legal reasons,
出于法律原因
we need a science-y person to endorse product.
我们需要科学方面的人才来为产品背书
Considering we're all a bunch of people who didn't graduate college,
毕竟我们这群大学没毕业的人
we sell a lot of products that go inside of you.
卖的很多产品可是广被你们内服外用呢
Yeah, no, it doesn't really work that way.
得了吧 不是这么个操作法
A, you have to be invited,
首先 你必须获得邀请
and B, no self-respecting scientist
其次 稍微自重点的科学家
is going to endorse the nonsense your company is pushing.
都不可能为你们公司售卖的智商税产品站台
Excuse me, but our copper-infused toothpaste
瞎说什么呢 我们出品的含铜牙膏
is on the FDA's top ten items to watch, so...
位列食品药品管理局的重点"监督"产品前十呢
Phil! Phil, can you come in here?
菲尔 你能过来一下吗
I've worked up a little presentation for my Skype interview,
我为视频面试准备了一小段演讲展示
and I would love to get your feedback.
我希望听听你的意见反馈
Yes, please!
好啊 来吧
You've been such a cheerleader for me with all my magic shows
我的魔术表演你一直都很捧场
and SCARB dinners, I'd love to be yours.
包括南加房宴 我也很乐意支持你
Hit it.
来吧
I'm gonna stop you right there.
我必须这就打住你
I've been out of work for a few months,
我已经好几个月没工作了
and I've gotten kinda antsy.
我变得有点惴惴不安
To channel my anxiety, I have cleaned, I have organized.
为排遣焦虑 我试过打扫卫生 整理物品
Perhaps a bit obsessively.
或许有点强迫症的程度
Doctors were consulted.
甚至去看了医生
One -- a therapist, so not even a real doctor.
就一个 心理治疗师而已 甚至不是真正的医生
But meds were quickly dismissed.
但很快就停药了
We didn't want the sexual side effects.
我们不想要性欲方面的副作用
Anyway...
总之呢
I am going to channel my anxiety into a career.
我打算将我的焦虑转变成事业
I am interviewing for my dream job --
我即将面试我的梦想工作
Senior VP of my favorite organizing chain store, organize 'Em!
我最爱的整理连锁店"收纳良品"的高级副总裁
I'm so excited, I could have an organaz--
我太激动了 我可能会拥有一份整理...
You're better than that.
你不至于堕落到这地步
So, throughout the call,
所以在整个面试过程中
I'm gonna be referring to this organizational system
我会一直提到这个整理系统
that I created using the Organize 'Em products.
这是我用"收纳良品"的产品制作的
- Smart. - ‭Yeah. Watch.
-聪明 -是啊 瞧好了
Oh, Ms. Beckman, what an interesting point.
贝克曼女士 这观点可真有趣
I should jot that down.
我应该记下来
What the hell is that?
那是什么鬼声音
Oh, my God. What?
天啊 什么
Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you, your dad came over to help me.
对了 我忘了说你爸过来帮忙我
I gotta fix that step.
我打算把楼梯修好
It splintered.
它裂开了
I wiped out this morning and landed on my head.
我早上没踩稳 结果就脑袋着地了
Yeah, but my call.
好吧 但我得面试啊
We gotta take care of that before someone gets hurt.
我们必须赶紧修好 否则有人会受伤的
Someone did.
已经有人受伤了
I mean, what if it was Haley with the babies? Or Dylan?
万一是海莉抱着孩子摔了怎么办 或者迪兰
- Or...? - ‭Or me. I threw up.
-或者... -或者我 我都摔吐了
Holy Moses. Gloria was here yesterday in heels.
我的天 昨天歌洛莉亚还是穿着高跟鞋来的
That could've been ugly.
她也可能会摔得很惨的
I'm sleepy.
我昏昏欲睡
Buddy, you gotta move. Someone's gonna trip over you.
小子 你得挪开 不然你会把别人绊倒的
Hey, guys, we can't do this right now, okay?
各位 你们不能现在干这事 明白吗
I've got -- I've got an interview at 1:23.
我1:23时有个面试
Well, that's specific.
这时间定得好具体
No, not for Audrey Beckman.
不 对奥黛丽·贝克曼来说不算什么
Her whole life is scheduled down to the second.
她的整个人生 安排都精确到秒
She's a god to OCD people.
她简直是强迫症人群的神
Why do you think I've got that bumper sticker
不然你以为我什么要买那个保险杠贴纸
that says "Straighten It Like Beckman"?
上面写着"像贝克曼一样井井有条"
Can I come down now?
我现在能下来了吗
If I don't have the babies' bottles when they wake up,
如果宝宝们醒来时 我没准备好奶瓶
they're mean.
他们就会发脾气
You're not even in the terrible twos yet.
你还没遇到"可怕的两岁期"呢
Oh, when do those start?
那是什么时候开始啊
Okay, look, it's almost time.
好了 就快到时间点了
Just please, nobody make any noise,
拜托 别弄出任何噪音
nobody go in that office.
任何人都不准进那间办公室
I have all my ducks in a row.
我现在做好了完全的准备
I'm just gonna run upstairs and change my shirt.
我先上楼换个衣服就好
Oh, okay, but be careful.
好吧 但是小心点
I know what I'm doing, I have got this.
我知道自己在干什么 我没问题的
Oh, boy! Oh, God!
要命了 老天爷啊
My leg is stuck!
我的腿卡在里面了
Somebody do something!
谁快想想办法啊
I'm really good at getting rings off.
我很擅长取下卡住的戒指
Do you want me to butter your thighs?
你想让我给你大腿涂黄油做润滑吗
Hey, Dylan, sometimes I like to play things out
迪伦 有时我喜欢把话先在心里过一遍
in my head first, if that's helpful.
看没有歧义再说出口
Hey, honey, uh, we need to talk to you about something.
亲爱的 我们想和你说个事
Sweetie, this is something pretty big,
宝贝 这是件大事
and I -- I want you to brace yourself.
我希望你做好心理准备
The adoption agency called --
领养机构联系了我们...
I'm not going back!
我死也不回去
Do you know what happens to soft, entitled kids in Da Nang?
你知道软弱有特权的孩子在岘港会有什么下场吗
No, no, no, no, no, no! No, no.
不不不 不是的
N-No. No.
不是的
There's a baby boy --
有一个男婴...
I think you should do it.
我觉得你们应该收养他
- Really? Just -- Just like that? - ‭What?
-真的吗 你这么轻易就同意了 -什么
Whatever stops you dropping by my sleepovers.
能让我去朋友家过夜时你们不来检查就行
You guys are way too focused on me.
你们对我过度关注了
Plus, I think it'd be fun to have a baby brother.
再说 有个弟弟会很欢乐的
‭Although...
虽然...
Although what?
虽然什么
Aren't you guys kind of old to be having a baby?
你们现在养娃不会太老了吗
I'm getting into the juicy part of my teen years.
我马上要进入夜夜笙歌的青少年时期
I don't want to have to take over for you.
万一你们死了 我可不想接手带娃
Okay, we are not that old.
我们也没那么老好吗
You're like 50.
你们都50高寿了
Oh, my God! No!
什么鬼 当然没有
Daddy's 44, and I'm 48.
小爸才44岁 我48岁
You do realize when the baby's a senior in high school,
你们知道等宝宝上高三时
you guys will be senior citizens?
你们就是拿养老金的长者了吧
We will not be senior c--
我们才不是长...
- Cam. - ‭Sixty-six.
-小卡 -66
I'll be sixty-six.
到时我66岁
And I'll be sixty-one.
我就是61岁
Well, sixty-two.
是62啦
Not until June!
没到六月生日不算啦
It's not working! My leg is really stuck in there!
没用啊 我的腿还紧紧卡在里面
It might be time to return to my idea.
也许该再考虑下我的提议了
I'm not cutting my leg off.
我绝不会砍掉我的腿
Think about how fast you would run with a robot leg.
想想装上一条机械腿后 你会跑得多快啊
Luke, your mom's not getting a robot leg!
卢克 你妈妈怎么可能装一条机械腿
She'd need two, or she'd just run in circles.
她应该装两条 不然她只能原地打转
Come on, let's check under the stairs.
好了 我们该看看楼梯下面
Yes, please, and hurry!
没错 拜托了 快点
What the hell's the matter with this house?
这房子怎么回事
How could two steps be broken?
怎么会坏掉两级楼梯
My God, the humidity. My hair's gonna frizz out.
天啊 湿气好重 我头发都要变卷了
That's why I never show any pictures from 'Nam.
所以我从来不给别人看我在越南的照片
Oh, no, I totally forgot about the humidifier
糟了 我把给菇木装的加湿器
for my mushroom log.
忘得一干二净了
It needed darkness and moisture.
它需要阴暗和潮湿环境
It must have rotted the wood.
一定是腐蚀了木头
Wow, honey, you're really wedged in here tight.
老婆 你真的卡得死死的
Yeah, no kidding.
是啊 没在开玩笑的
Why can't you buy your mushrooms at a store,
你为什么不能像个正常人一样
like a normal person?
直接从商店买蘑菇
Store-bought mushrooms?
店里买的蘑菇吗
You really don't get my generation, Boomer.
你这婴儿潮一代和我这代之间真的有代沟
Maybe this'll enlighten you.
也许这样能让你顿悟
Open up.
张嘴
Get your hand away from my --
把你的脏手拿开
Open up!
张嘴啦
That's damn good.
真特么好吃
Why do I always default to "No"?
我为什么总是拒绝尝试新事物
Is Gloria right? Should I try slim-cut jeans?
歌洛莉亚是对的吗 我该尝试修身牛仔裤吗
Guys! What's going on down there?!
下面是怎么回事啊
Your foot's stuck between two copper pipes.
你的脚卡在两条水管之间
We're gonna have to cut it.
我们得把水管锯开
It might take a while.
可能需要一些时间
I don't have a while!
我等不了
I can't believe this. I'm going to miss my interview.
真不敢相信 我要错过面试了
And this was my dream job!
这可是我的梦想工作啊
I was gonna get to organize the whole world.
我本来能收纳好整个世界
And now everything is gonna stay so messy.
现在一切都只能保持混乱的原状
Can't you just reschedule it?
你不能重新约个时间吗
No! Phil, I'd look like a flake!
不行 菲尔 那我会像个不靠谱的鸽王
This is an organizational company,
这可是收纳公司
not the loosey-goosey world of real estate,
不像你们房产界那么懒散随意
where everything's "See you noon to three,
你们都只会说"中午十二点到三点见
and I'll bring the cookies"!
我会带曲奇来"
Sorry. I'm lashing out.
抱歉 我拿你撒气了
No, it's okay. The lion doesn't lose sleep
没关系 狮子不会因为绵羊的看法
over the opinions of sheep.
而辗转失眠
Honey, just take the call from there.
宝贝 你就在那里接电话呗
How ridiculous would I look taking a call on stairs?
我在楼梯上接电话看起来会多荒唐啊
Plus, I need my shelves, 'cause I had this whole thing
再说 我需要那些架子 因为我已经精心
worked out with the products and --
摆好了各种产品还有...
You don't need gimmicks!
你不需要搞这些噱头
You were the C.E.O. for Pritchett's freakin' Closets.
你曾是普利契特衣柜的牛逼总裁
You know how many people can say that?
你知道有多少人能说这句话吗
Me and you!
只有我和你
And Margaret every five years,
还有玛格丽特 我每五年
when I went under for my colonoscopy.
去做结肠镜检查时 都交给她代班
Fine. Give me my phone.
好吧 把电话给我
I'll bomb the interview from right here.
我就在这里搞砸我的面试
She's lost her confidence. She needs those shelves.
她失去自信了 她需要那些架子
You know what, if she can't get to the office,
其实 如果她去不了办公室
we can bring the office to her.
我们可以把办公室搬到她旁边
You're staring.
你在盯着看
I'm frizzing, aren't I?
我头发炸毛了 对不对
I've got to admit, walking onto that campus...
我必须承认 走进那校园
All those eyes on me, the adoration...
那么多人注视着我 崇拜我
It felt good. It felt right.
感觉很好 感觉这是对的
Like I had earned everything that was coming my way.
感觉我得到的这些待遇都是应得的
You suck!
你烂透了
No! You!
不 就是你
What?
什么
Helo Dynamics is evil!
希洛动力超邪恶
Excuse me? We help people.
你说什么 我们帮助别人
Yeah! People like fascists, dictators, oligarchs.
是啊 帮那些法西斯分子 独裁者 寡头
What are you talking about?
你在说什么啊
We make things like facial scanners
我们不过是制造能检测
that detect predisposition to genetic diseases.
遗传病倾向的面部扫描仪
Which oppressive governments use
残暴政府就用这个来
to identify political dissidents.
识别持不同政见者
Well, I mean, it's also used on video chats
但这也能用在视频聊天里
to turn yourself into a unicorn.
把你自己变成独角兽啊
Name one thing more fun!
还有比这更好玩的吗
Why don't you walk your fancy shoes outta here, you sellout?!
穿着你的名牌高跟鞋滚出去 见钱眼开的垃圾
Why is someone wearing socks and sandals
为什么有个穿凉鞋还配袜子的土逼
yelling at your fabulous shoes?
在辱骂你绝美的高跟鞋
- Sellout! - I don't know!
-见利忘义 -我不知道
And what are you doing here?
再说你怎么会在这里
Well, I'm recruiting for NERP.
我来为诺普招人啊
I told you I need a science-y person.
我说过我需要一个搞科学的人
You can't just saunter in here. You have to be approved.
你不能自己进来闲逛 你得有入场证
Oh. Hey, kid. You don't care what you look lik. You must be smart.
年轻人 我看你不修边幅 你一定很聪明
Want to work at a place that has a lot of hot girls?
你想去一个有很多辣妹的地方上班吗
Stop it!
别闹了
Could you make this horrible situation any worse?
你还能把情况弄得更糟吗
Hell no, Helo! It's time you go!
抵制希洛 赶紧滚吧
- I didn't do that. - Hell no, Helo, it's time you go!
-那不是我干的 -抵制希洛 赶紧滚吧
I've never seen nerds swarm like this before!
我以前从没见过这样成群的书呆
We're not typically a clustering people.
我们通常不是群聚型的生物
Oh, my God. It's Arvin.
天啊 是阿尔文
Oh, no. I emailed him I'd be here.
糟了 我发邮件告诉他我会来
Oh, this is gonna be so awkward for me!
我等下要尴尬死了
The last time I saw him, I broke his heart.
我们最后一次见面时 我伤透了他的心
Awkward for you?
你还尴尬
These people hate me so much, they're making eye contact!
这些人都恨我恨到不惜彼此有眼神交会了
Alex? Hi!
艾丽克丝 你好啊
What's all the com--
那些人在干嘛
Haley.
海莉
Arvin. Hi.
阿尔文 你好
I didn't know you'd be here.
我不知道你会在这
This isn't going to be easy to say.
这句话很难说出口
I got married, and I have twins.
我结婚了 生了双胞胎
I know. Yes.
是的 我知道
It was the lead story in Dylan's holiday newsletter.
那是迪兰节假日新闻邮件的头条
You sure you haven't been stalking a little?
你确定你没偷偷跟进我的现状吗
No. No, that's why.
没有 有新闻邮件就行了
Alex, is this directed at you?
艾丽克斯 这是针对你的吗
Yes. Yes, it is.
是的 没错
And they are so mean!
他们太刻薄了
Hell no, Helo!
抵制希洛
Uh, excuse me.
打断一下
Uh, you-you all know I'm a cool guy, right?
你们都知道我人很好 对吧
I'm chill with you calling me Arvin.
你们叫我阿尔文我也不介意
We had class outside that one time.
有一次我们还去室外上课
Will you just give us a minute?
大家先暂停一分钟好吗
I assure you, she will feel the full effects of my rage.
我保证 她会全身心感受到我的愤怒
- So, how have you been? - Not so great.
-你最近怎么样 -不怎么样
They're not fans of your employer?
他们不喜欢你的老板吗
Which is so unfair!
这太不公平了
I'm doing very advanced research
我正在做非常前沿的研究
that could have far-reaching implications.
很可能会产生深远的影响
Yeah. Of course you are.
是啊 我毫不意外
One sec.
等一下
How do you sleep at night?!
你晚上怎么睡得着
Okay, so, you, too?
你也和他们一样吗
No, of course not.
当然不是
I am not here to judge you or your boss --
我不是来评判你或你的老板
Satan!
撒旦
Anyway, I just thoht I'd drop by and say a quick hello.
总之 我只是想路过打个招呼
Haley, lovely to see you.
海莉 很高兴见到你
You have to move on.
别迷恋我了 向前看吧
Alex, I wish you nothing but the best. Okay.
艾丽克斯 祝你一切都好 那好
Right, guys. Now with feeling.
好了 大伙 带点感情
Hell no, Helo! It's time you go!
抵制希洛 赶紧滚吧
Hell no, Helo! It's time you go!
抵制希洛 赶紧滚吧
What Lily said really got to us.
莉莉的话真的让我们很在意
Maybe we are too old to have a new baby.
或许我们这年纪确实不该要宝宝了
Yesterday, I found hairs on my ears
昨天 我发现自己耳朵上长毛了
and I yelled at the local news.
还对着本地新闻大骂
And I called Seinfeld "Steinfeld."
我把宋飞说成了"宋灰"
You know, but on the other hand,
不过话说回来
there are a lot of men our age having babies.
我们这年纪的男人要孩子也挺常见的
Yes, but-but they have second wives and nannies --
是的 不过他们都有第二任娇妻和保姆
who are often the same person.
保姆和娇妻通常是一个人
We just needed to talk to a-a parent
我们需要跟一个
that had a baby when they were old.
上年纪后要宝宝的家长聊聊
You must be mistaken, because I had Joe when I was 35.
你们肯定搞错了 因为我生乔时才35
No, I remember. You had just turned --
不 我记得 你当时已经...
She's not gonna budge.
她不会承认的
Okay, j-just tell us, how hard is it?
就跟我们直说吧 有多难
Well, are there nights where you don't sleep
会不会经常没有觉睡
and you want to kill yourself?
恨不得杀了自己
Of course.
当然会
Are there shooting pains in your back
每次抱起放下宝宝时
from picking the baby and putting him down?
后背会不会疼得要死
Constantly.
每次都会
Okay, well, is there a but?
好吧 有转折[臀部]吗
It's hanging in there, but it's not the same.
还算能看 跟以前没法比
Look, I know that you guys worry that you're too old
我知道你们担心自己太老了
or too slow to have a baby at this age.
反应太慢了 照顾不好宝宝
But guess what.
但你猜怎么着
You can!
你们可以
- What the hell was that? - A doll.
-那是什么鬼 -一个娃娃
It was supposed to prove that you guys were ready to have a baby,
它本该证明你们准备好了要宝宝
but if this was a real one, you would have killed it.
但假如这是真的宝宝 你们已经摔死它了
Well, wouldn't it be your fault for throwing it?
难道不是该怪你乱扔宝宝吗
Give me a break. I was trying something.
你就饶了我吧 我只是在实验新招
I'm in the middle of selling a house.
我正在想办法卖这间房
Oh, yeah, it's very cute, by the way.
对了 顺带一提 房子很漂亮
How many bedrooms is it?
有几间卧室
Three and a den.
三间带一个小书房
Oh, that's one more than we have.
比我们家卧室多
Mitchell, this house, huh?
米奇尔 这房子真不错
Cam, I can't even begin to think about a house
小卡 我根本不能开始考虑买房
when we haven't even made a decision about whether or not
我们甚至还没决定好
- we're going to -- - But maybe it's a sign.
-要不要领养 -或许这是老天的暗示
You know, the new job goes away, a baby comes along,
新工作泡汤了 新宝宝要来了
and all of a sudden, we're standing in a charming
突然间 我们身处这幢迷人的
- three-bedroom -- - Three and a half bath.
-三卧房子 -还有三间半洗手间
Which, holy cow, we could afford if we just switch back
老天爷 只要我们换回开架护肤霜
- to grocery store face cream. - ‭No.
-我们就买得起 -不行
And it's in a great school district.
这里可是好学区房
You know what? She's right about that.
你知道吗 她说得没错
They have a full-time nurse.
他们有全职护士
We have a Band-Aid jar and a can of ginger ale.
我们只有一盒创可贴和一罐姜汁汽水
Okay, we already have too much on our plate.
我们手上的难题已经够多了
We're not buying this house!
我们不能买这幢房
Oh, and in the basement, they have a karaoke room
地下室还有唱K室
for people that want to impersonate divas
专为那些想要模仿天后
without their fathers seeing them.
又不想被老爸看到的人准备
Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to look.
我想看看也无妨
I don't know, guys. Does it really look like I'm in my office?
我说不好 我真的看起来像在办公室吗
Jaws wasn't a real shark,
《大白鲨》也不是真鲨鱼
but I still wouldn't sit on a toilet seat for months.
还是吓得我好几个月不敢坐马桶
‭How's this angle, Mom?
这角度怎么样 妈
Um, uh, fine, I guess.
应该可以
My cheek is itching! Is there something on my face?
我的脸颊好痒 我脸上有东西吗
Admiral Ackbar, what the hell happened to you?
你怎么变成外星人了 你这是怎么了
I'll bet it was your stupid mushrooms!
肯定是你的破蘑菇害的
Why do I try new things?
我为什么要尝试新事物
I'm sticking to my Brett Favre jeans!
我不会换掉我的老爹牛仔裤
Oh, God! That's her! That's her!
老天 是她 是她
Everybody quiet!
所有人安静
Wait, I have to get up there with the babies --
等等 我得上去喂宝宝
Sit!
你坐下
Hi, Ms. Beckman.
贝克曼女士
Thank you so much for this --
非常感谢你给我这次...
...opportunity.
机会
You're welcome.
不客气
I-I wasn't mocking you.
我不是在笑话你
It's just that whenever I hear someone sneeze,
只不过每次我听到有人打喷嚏
I have to sneeze, too, so that it's an even number.
我也必须打喷嚏 让它变成偶数
It's-it's perfectly normal.
这是很正常的
Oh, no, I completely understand.
是的 我完全理解
A few years ago, I forgot to tap the towel rod twice
几年前 有次从淋浴间出来时
when I got out of the shower,
我忘了敲两下毛巾杆
and we lost George Michael that day, so...
结果乔治·迈克尔在那天离世了 所以
That was you?
是你害的啊
Let me tell you a little bit about our company.
让我为你介绍一下我们的公司
I'd love that.
洗耳恭听
But first, I'd like to take some notes.
但首先 让我记些笔记
Tilt up!
往上抬
That's what I love about this industry --
这就是我喜欢这个行业的原因
never a "Dull" Moment.
从不无聊 保持"尖峰"
It's not plugged in.
没插电
We like to think of "Organize 'Em"
我们对收纳良品的定位是
as a wellness company --
一家关于健康的公司
A mindfulness company.
一家关于正念的公司
Are your shelv shaking?
你的架子在晃吗
Uh...yeah.
是的
Yeah, I think we're having a little earthquake.
是的 好像发生了小地震
You know what? Why don't I tell you
不如这样 不如让我
a little something about myself?
向你介绍一下自己
I like to think I'm the kind of person
我认为我是那种
who can see where the consumer trends are leaning,
能看出顾客的消费趋势朝哪倾斜
adjust quickly,
做出快速调整
and lean back the other direction.
然后向反方向倾斜回来的人
Oh, my God!
我的天
Do I love organizing!
我太喜欢整理了
Baby, do I love it!
宝贝 我爱死了
M-Ms. Dunphy, have you been drinking?
邓菲女士 你喝酒了吗
Just lie. She can't smell your breath.
说谎就行了 她闻不到你一身酒气
No, Poppy, no!
不可以 茵素 不可以
What the hell is happening?!
这他妈是在搞什么鬼
I'm calling it.
我放弃了
I'm sorry, Ms. Beckman. This was a terrible idea.
抱歉 贝克曼女士 这真是个馊主意
I -- Okay.
我... 好吧
I fell through a step, and my leg is stuck.
我踩破了一格楼梯 我的脚卡住了
And listen, there's no company I would rather work for.
请听我说 你们是我最想要为之奋斗的公司了
I didn't want to cancel on you, so I asked my family
我不想跟你取消 所以我请我的家人
to make it look like this was my office.
把这里布置得像我在办公室里
Jay Pritchett, closeteer, but you probably know that.
杰·普里契特 柜界先锋 不过估计你早听说过我
Could you just please get him out of my ear shot?
能把他赶离我的听觉范围内吗
Yeah, yeah, sure.
好的好的 没问题
Listen, I wanted you to think that I was a person
相信我 我本来很想让你以为
who had it all together, but I'm not.
我是一个井然有序又成功的人 但我并不是
The reality is I live in chaos!
现实就是我住在一片混乱之中
But that's why I love your products.
这就是为什么我这么爱你们的产品
When -- When my kids are fighting
每当... 我的孩子们吵架
or -- or the grandkids are crying
或者我的孙子女们在哭闹
or my husband is making pancakes on a pogo stick,
又或是我丈夫跳着弹簧高跷做松饼
I know that I can go into my office
我心里知道我可以去到我的办公室
and file bills in a color-coded divider
把各类账单按颜色标记归档
and experience one moment of peace.
享受到片刻心灵的宁静
I know I'm what your company needs,
我知道你们公司有多需要我
because I know how much I need your company.
就像我知道我有多需要你们公司
I got the job!
我得到工作了
I'm so proud of her!
她真是太棒了
I guess it's our lucky step.
我猜那肯定是我们的幸运阶梯
Don't worry. It's just me.
不用担心 摔的是我
Oh. ‭See?!
看有多幸运
You know what? You could have defended me!
你知道吗 你也可以为我说两句的啊
Mm. Should I have?
我该说话吗
Are you saying you agree with them?
难道你同意他们说的话吗
I found their chant rather simplistic.
我觉得他们的口号过于简化了
You know, I would have probably gone with something like...
如果是我 我估计会说像是...
"Helo Dynamics is a multinational corporation
"希洛动力公司这家跨国企业
that prioritizes profits over ethics."
只在乎利益而忽视道德"
I knew it. You are judging me.
我就知道 你也对我有意见
Do you judge all of your students like this?
你这么批判你所有学生吗
Alex...
艾丽克斯
all my students don't have the potential you do!
我其他的学生并没有你的潜力
You were extraordinary!
你是如此的不凡
You were meant to change the world!
你本来应该成为改变世界的人
And it's not just me that thinks it.
而且这并不是我一个人的想法
Dylan said so in his newsletter.
迪兰的家庭新闻邮件里也写了
Oh, spare me.
饶了我吧
The sanctimonious academic, looking down on the star pupil
道貌岸然的学者鄙视得意门生
because of her thousand-dollar shoes!
就因为她脚踏千金名鞋
Those shoes were a thousand dollars?
那双鞋价值上千吗
Damn it. Do they come with medicine for a village?
哇靠 价格是买鞋附赠一整村子的药物吗
You know what? I hate to say it,
告诉你 我也不想说这话
but I don't need your approval, because I love what I do.
但我不需要你的认可 因为我喜欢我的工作
Ah. Well, I am sorry to hear that.
那真是太遗憾了
- Don't be. - ‭I'm sorry because I am assembling a research team
-省省吧 -我遗憾是因为我在组织研究团队
to create A.I. capable of everything
想要创造无所不能的人工智慧
from discovering exoplanets in deep space
从发现外太空的系外行星
to biomarkers of disease in humans.
到人体中疾病的生物标记物
And you would've been a superb addition
本来如果有你的加入
to an exceptional team.
可以让团队如虎添翼
But pbht!
但拉倒吧
Well, Professor...
教授
you can take that job...
你特么可以把这工作
and give it to me.
乖乖交给我
But I'm going to need you to match my salary!
不过你得付我在原公司的薪水
I'm not sure we have that kind of money.
我不确定我们团队有没有那经费
Deal.
成交
I'm gonna go see if I can still return these.
我去看看我还能不能拿回去退钱
And finally, back to the beautiful family room.
最后来到这美丽的家庭休息区
It's great.
很棒啊
I mean, it is beautiful.
这里很美啊
I can see you both
我仿佛都能看见
having a delightful misunderstanding here.
你们在这里发生的各种美丽误会了
Okay, now, Mitchell. ‭Hmm?
米奇尔 听我说
You know I'm not usually impulsive --
你知道我这个人很少冲动
Please. You never go to the grocery store alone
少来了 你独自去超市买东西时
and not come home with a balloon.
就没有没带气球回家过
But that bathroom upstairs is amazing.
但楼上的浴室真的太棒了
Yeah, and I -- I do love the idea of me having my own sink.
是啊 我... 我也很喜欢我能有独自洗脸台
Our housekeeper would finally realize who the real villain is.
我们家的打扫阿姨终于可以知道是谁脏乱了
Okay, so we should -- we should do it!
行 所以我们应... 应该就下手啊
Let's do it!
我们点头吧
- Buy this house? - ‭Yeah.
-买下这房子吗 -对啊
We haven't even made a decision about the baby yet.
我们连要不要再领养都还没决定呢
Oh. Another broker just sent me a text.
另一个中介给我发消息了
An offer is coming at six o'clock.
有人6点要出价了
Great. Another ticking clock.
这下好了 又一个倒计时
Let's also disarm a time bomb
干脆就一边解除一个定时炸弹
while buying Beyonce tickets online with an expired credit card.
一边在网上用过期的信用卡抢碧昂丝的票吧
Okay, that one got to me. I'm having hard time breathing.
你这个例子太扎心 我要喘不过气了
I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack!
我感觉我要犯心脏病啦
And this big family room with the cozy fireplace
而这带壁炉的宽敞家庭休息室
is the perfect place to have that.
正是适合你犯心脏病的完美地点
Okay, you know what, Gloria? Stop.
好了好了 歌洛莉亚 别来这套了
We -- We -- We need to think.
我们 我们... 我们需要时间考虑
No, no, no, we do not need to think.
不不不 我们不需要考虑
We need to stop this.
我们需要的是停手
Okay, within the span of eighteen hours,
懂吗 在短短的18小时内
we're supposed to completely and utterly change our lives?
我们就要让生活天翻地覆般改变吗
No -- No big, life-altering decision should be made that way.
任何一个改变人生的决定都不该这么定下
You're right. Here, let's -- Then let's not.
你说得对 好 我们不这么做了
- Okay. ‭- It's just way too much.
-好 -这样太过火了
When things are right,
一件事如果是对的
i-it shouldn't be a struggle like this.
就不该会有这种纠结感啊
You just know it.
你心中会有所感
Yeah. I know.
是啊 我知道
That little boy, he's gonna find an amazing family, right?
那个小男孩 他会找到很好的家庭的啦
- Of course he is. - ‭Yeah. Yeah.
-当然会啦 -是的 对
You -- You know what? I already --
你知道吗 我已经...
I already feel a little lighter.
感觉负担轻了一些
And we don't need the stress of moving.
我们也不需要搬家的压力
- No. - ‭Because you know what?
-不需要 -你知道为什么吗
- I love our house. - ‭I do, too.
-因为我爱我们的房子 -我也是
- It is not perfect. But neitare we. - ‭No. We aren't.
-它虽然不完美 但我们也不是完人 -我们的确不是
And neither is your car.
你们的车也不行
Can you please remove that thing from the driveway?
能把你们的破车从车道挪走吗
I'm trying to sell a life style here.
我想给这里树立高级生活人设呢
Is that the adoption ancy?
是领养机构吗
Yep.
是的
I'll -- I'll tell them.
我... 我会告诉他们
Hello.
你好
Uh, yes, my husband and I would love to adopt him.
对 我跟我丈夫很乐意领养他
Let's write up an offer.
起草购买意向书吧
- Dad. Wake up. - Oh, what -- what -- what --
-小爸 醒醒 -怎么 怎么了
- I think Daddy took a sleeping pill again. - Is he...
-大爸好像又吃安眠药了 -那他...
- Yep. - ‭Okay.
-是的 -好吧
♪ He taught me to love him ♪
♪ 他教我爱他 ♪
美国乡村歌曲乐团"卡特家族" - Wildwood Flower
♪ And promised to love ♪
♪ 也承诺会爱我 ♪
♪ And cherish me over all others above ♪
♪ 视我为世上最珍视之人 ♪
Come on, sing it with me, Tucson! ‭
图森市的观众们 跟我一起唱
♪ My poor heart is wonderin', no misery can tell -- ♪
♪ 我可怜的小心肝苦等着 没有任何悲剧可以比拟 ♪
Hey, Mitchell. I have a dozen wings for Reba.
米奇尔 有个瑞芭点了鸡翅
Yup. Okay, thank you so much.
是的 好的 谢谢你啦
We'll see you next time.
我们下次见
Tony, I'm getting a little feedback in my ear here.
托尼 我耳返里好像有些杂音
Tony Hammond, ladies and gentlemen.
这是托尼·哈蒙德 女士们先生们