摩登家庭 第十一季 Modern Family Season 11 第3集: Perfect Pairs

上映日期: 2,019

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 爱情

导演: 盖尔·曼库索 / 斯蒂文·莱维坦

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 诺兰·古德 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 奥布里·


台词
No one is around. Again.
又再次所有人都不在了
Is it just me or people have been avoiding us lately?
是我多心 还是大家最近都在躲我们
I get it, twins are a ton of work.
我能理解养双胞胎真的很辛苦
m 211 -8 b b b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
m 211 -8 b b b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
m 0 0 b 1 -1 2 -2 4 -1 b 7 1 3 2 5 5 b 6 7 8 7 9 5 l 15 -6 b 18 -7 20 -6 20 -3 b 19 -1 17 2 17 4 b 16 7 20 7 21 6 b 22 4 23 2 25 -1 b 27 -2 29 -1 29 1 b 29 2 28 3 29 5 b 30 7 32 7 33 6 b 34 5 34 4 35 3 b 37 2 39 3 39 5 b 39 6 38 8 37 9 b 34 13 29 13 25 9 b 22 13 17 13 13 9 b 10 13 3 13 0 8
m 50 0 l 179 0 b b b 21 228 0 208 0 179 l 0 50 b 0 21 21 0 50 0
b
原创翻译 双语字幕
But Haley and Dylan ask us to help out a lot.
但海莉和迪兰太经常叫我们帮忙了
最新连载海外影视剧下载仅供交流学习 禁止商用盈利请登陆 www.YYeTs.com
Maybe we're both just loopy from sleep deprivation.
或许是我们因为缺觉而有点神志恍惚
b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
m 200 -1 l 200 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
翻译 @少年影视派 斑驳 卷福就爱吃卷饼
I don't even remember making this cup of tea.
我都不记得泡过这杯茶
It's fine, I'll just jog with them.
没事 我跟他们一起去慢跑吧
翻译 洗七里 赛太公永不起早
Don't push yourself too hard on that run.
你跑步别把自己逼得太狠
Please. You know who you're talking to?
拜托 你知道你在跟谁说话吗
Why does everyone always ask me that?
为什么大家总是问我这个问题
校对 新浪微博@赛太公
That was close.
好险啊
- Are they gone? - Yes.
-他们走了吗 -是的
时间轴 三水
Okay, who'd like to help me with a magic trick?
好了 谁想来当我的魔术助手
后期 想休长假的瓜瓜
Alex. Great.
艾丽克斯 好极了
Now, uh, take this dove --
你拿着这只鸽子
Try not to rile her up.
别激怒它
She's about to spend the better part of an hour in my pants.
它将在我的裤子里待上近一个小时呢
总监 生无可恋瓜
家 庭
摩 登
第十一季 第三集
Until now, we haven't had the best of luck with renters.
到目前为止 我们遇到的租客普遍都比较糟心
So, when you said you were a cat person on your application...
你在申请表上说 你是个喜欢猫的人...
Oh, oh, that's -- that's just my watch.
那 只是我手表的反光而已
But then Brad and Paul moved in, and it was like
但后来布拉德和保罗搬来了 那简直就像
the perfect friend couple showed up at our front door.
自动送上门的完美夫夫朋友
And you wanted to stop renting completely after the cat lady.
在那个"猫女"之后 你还不想再出租了
I just -- I couldn't listen to her scream every time she took a bath.
我无法忍受她每次洗澡时发出的嚎叫
I can't believe how much we have in common.
我简直不敢相信我们竟然有这么多共同点
Daughters the same age, you both played football.
女儿同龄 你们也都玩橄榄球
You know, an ex-teammate of mine is a coach for the Chargers.
我的一个前队友现在是洛杉矶闪电队的教练
He can get us right on the field.
他可以弄到离球场超近的票
You just have to watch where you stand,
不过你看的时候得小心站位
'cause you could end up under a wide receiver.
因为近到可能会被飞扑的外接手压到
Okay, stop selling! I'm in!
好了 别再推销了 我同意了
They even pre-paid for six months.
他们甚至预付了六个月的租金
That means they'll be here till Christmas.
那意味着他们会一直住到圣诞节
We can include them in our Secret Santa!
我们可以邀请他们一起玩秘密圣诞老人游戏
Oh, it would be nice not to get Lily again.
可以逃过收莉莉礼物也挺不错的
The Duke...
杜克[约翰·韦恩]
becomes a uke...
变成了尤克[里里]
becomes a Luke.
再变成卢克
Dad, that was amazing!
爸 这太神奇了
Amazing that I think a hacky parlor trick
神奇的是 我竟然认为这种垃圾小把戏
is gonna cut it at SCARB.
有资格出现在南加房宴上
You heard me right, Alex -- SCARB!
你没听错 艾丽克斯 南加房宴
The Southern California Area Realtors' Banquet
南加州地区房地产经纪人盛宴
is the biggest event of the year
对南加州地区的房地产经纪人来说
for Southern California Area Realtors.
是年度最盛大的活动
The other events -- SCARL,
其他一些活动 比如南加协宴
SCARD, SCARP, SCARG, SCARF --
南加联宴 南加会宴 南加群宴...
t-they're fine, but SCARB, it's -- it's the show.
也挺好的 但南加房宴 才是业内的顶级盛会
I performed at last year's SCARB,
我在去年的南加房宴上表演了
and -- and I did well.
我表现得挺好的
Too well.
好过头了
Thank you.
谢谢大家
Wait, was there someone else who wanted to say thank you?
等等 还有人要说谢谢吗
Oh, that's right.
没错
Puff wanted to say thank you.
蓬蓬也想说声谢谢
Thank you so much. Thank you.
非常感谢 谢谢
Unbelievable!
难以置信
When you were underwater for nine minutes,
你在水下憋了9分钟时
I almost broke the glass myself!
我都想亲自砸缸救人了
You have got to come back next year.
你明年一定要接着来表演
Well, I guess I could, uh...
我想我可以
...get behind you on that.
在你身后 支持你这话
I don't know how I did that.
我都不知道我是怎么做到的
For the last year,
去年一整年
I haven't paid for a drink in any Realtor bar in California.
我去加州任何房产经纪人酒吧 就没花钱买过酒
I've never known that kind of adulation.
我从未见识过那种奉承
If I blow it tonight, it all goes away.
如果我今晚演砸了 这一切就都没了
I'm just another bum walking into Brokers
我就成了又一个走进中介酒吧的流浪汉
paying for my own Long Escrow Iced Tea!
要自己掏钱买"长托管冰茶"
Dad, I'm on the short list for this NASA job.
爸 我现在很有希望拿到太空总署的这份工作
I just need to finish these forms,
我需要填好这些表
but I -- I swear to you, it really was great.
但我发誓 你刚刚的表演真的很棒
I'm sorry.
抱歉
And I am a tough audience.
我可是个很难取悦的观众
I'm a scientist.
我是个科学家
It's not like I'm fooled by simple misdirection.
我可不会被简单的误导欺骗
I told Janice I'm 21.
我跟珍妮丝说我21岁了
I'm pretty sure she'd break up with me
我很确定 如果让她发现
if she found out I wasn't even legal yet.
我还没到法定年龄 肯定会跟我分手
Then she asked if I'd buy wine for dinner tonight.
然后她问我能不能为今晚的晚餐买瓶红酒
Mind moving your thumb...
能把手指移开吗
Alexandra?
亚历桑德拉
That's what that's short for?
原来二姐的名字全名是这样啊
So sweet of you to take them to the park.
你愿意带他们去公园 真是太好了
Just make sure they're someplace shady.
不过记得一定要找阴凉处
Will do.
我会的
It's amazing how well you've been doing
你靠售卖家族祖传辣酱发家致富
selling Aunt Miranda's hot sauce.
发展得这么好 真是太棒了
I don't want to tell you
我都懒得跟你提
how much money I have lost trying to sell it over here.
我试图在这边卖那个辣酱亏了多少钱
I wouldn't mind having an exact figure --
我倒是不介意知道一下具体亏损数额...
I can't believe that you guys are already engaged!
我简直不敢相信你们已经订婚了
Where did you guys meet?
你们是在哪里认识的
On the street where I sell my artwork.
在我卖画的那条街上
One day, she let me paint her.
有一天 她让我给她画像
She became my muse.
她成了我的灵感女神
I am so happy for you, Sonia.
我真是太为你开心了 桑娅
Finally, you found the love that you deserve.
你终于找到你值得拥有的真爱了
It's great seeing you being supportive of Sonia for --
我很高兴看到你这么支持桑娅...
She's an idiot.
她是个白痴
He's obviously a gold digger,
那男的明显是个傍大款的
and I'm going to prove it to her.
我要向她证明这点
How do you know he's a gold digger?
你怎么知道他是个傍大款的
He's a starving artist, she has money.
他是个穷困潦倒的画家 她是个富婆
Do you really think that someone young and beautiful like that
你真觉得像他那么年轻又好看的人
is gonna fall in love with a rich, older person?
会爱上一个年纪大很多的有钱人吗
Never happens.
永远没可能的
I hear what I'm saying, and we're fine.
我听出我这话里的意思了 我们之间没事
When Sheryl McCray comes in,
等谢丽尔·麦克雷进来时
pay for her coffee with this.
用这张卡给她的咖啡买单
Sheryl McCray, Powerhouse real-estate developer.
谢丽尔·麦克雷 强大房地产开发商
I've been trying to land her closet business for years,
我多年来一直希望他们把衣柜业务交给我们来做
but it's impossible to get a meeting.
但无论如何就是约不上她
This article, though,
但是 这篇文章写了
says where she buys a latte every Saturday at 10:00.
她每周六早上十点买拿铁的地点
Today, I'm gonna buy that latte, we'll get to talking,
今天 我要给她买杯拿铁
and before you know it,
然后我们就开始聊天 不知不觉
she'll be buying a latte closets.
她就会"拿铁"衣柜的订单到我手里
Sheryl McCray?
谢丽尔·麦克雷吗
Matthew Kang, Kang Cabinets.
马修·康 来自康氏橱柜
Would you have just two minutes to, uh, sit dow--
能给我两分钟的时间坐下来...
Are you serious?
你有没有搞错
I'm not gonna do business with someone
我不会和你这种
who interrupts me in a coffee shop
居然打断我单独和我孩子
while I'm trying to enjoy a few precious moments
以及孩子的保姆在咖啡店
of alone time with my child. And her nanny.
享受美好时光的人做生意
I think she's wet.
我觉得她尿湿了
Change of plans, big spender?
计划有变吗 土豪
Ohh! Really? An emergency?
真的吗 紧急情况吗
Well, I guess I could --
我想我能
Relax. They don't need help with the babies.
放松 他们不需要帮忙带孩子
Luke has them.
卢克带着呢
Oh, thank God.
谢天谢地
Ugh. Let's get rid of this bad reminder, huh?
赶紧把这破杂志丢一边
Oh, I know that lady.
我认识她
What? How?
什么 怎么认识的
Oh, Mommy and Me class at my yoga place,
在瑜伽房的"妈妈和我"课上认识的
she's there every week.
她每周都在那
Oh, in fact, it's starting in half an hour.
正好 再过半个小时就要开始了
Think I'm gonna grab the kids and go do my thang.
我该带着孩子过去上课啦
‭‭You know what?
你知道吗
I haven't spent any time with those little ragamuffins.
我都没好好和这俩小家伙待过呢
Why don't you let me take 'em?
让我带他们去吧
- But I kind of wanted to take-- - Oh, take the help!
-但我有点想 -接受帮助吧
Don't be a hero, super mom, huh?
别逞英雄啦 超级妈妈
Is it me, or is your mom acting weird?
是我觉得 还是你们也觉得你妈有点怪
No. No!
不不
Don't you ev--
不要 你这个
Your cue is "Cadabra"!
听到咒语再出来
We made kale smoothies. We wanted to share.
我们做了甘蓝冰沙 分一些给你们
Thank you.
谢谢
Oh, no! We're intruding.
不好意思 我们好像打扰你们了
You're throwing a big pancake brunch.
你们在举办薄饼早午餐会呢
Where is everyone?
其他人呢
Uh, this is just for us.
这只是我们自己吃的
- What's this? - Art project for school.
-这是什么 -学校的艺术项目
I just grabbed something out of the trash
我就随便从垃圾里找了个东西
and threw glitter glue on it.
然后粘了点闪光胶水
Got a 70.
就得了70
She knows that's out of 100, right?
她知道总分是100吧
Vera went through a Found Art phase.
薇拉正在处于艺术发现阶段
This is, um...
这是
This is the Michelangelo's David
这是她用塑料做的
that she made out of plastic.
米开朗基罗的大卫像
Recycled plastic.
再生塑料
We only get one planet, let's take care of it.
我们只有一个星球 我们要保护它
Guess someone's never heard of the moon.
看来有人没听过月球
Oh, hey, speaking of art, you're so lucky
说起来艺术 你们太幸运了
to live right around the corner from the museum.
住这里离博物馆那么近
Who was your favorite artist in the postimpressionist show?
后印象派展览里谁是你们最喜欢的艺术家
I mean, gun to my head?
非要我说的话
I would say...
我会说
Gauguin, perhaps?
高更[再去]吗
To the exhibit? Yes. In a heartbeat.
去展览吗 当然 想都不用想
Uh, you know, actually, I'm thinking about going today.
事实上我想今天过去
Would you guys care to join?
你们要一起吗
Oh, I'd love to,
我很想去
but I promised this one we'd go on a canyon hike.
但我答应这位要一起峡谷徒步
Once an underwear model...
他曾经是内衣模特
A couple International Male covers
为了赚医学院的学费
to pay for medical school,
上过几次《国际男性》的封面而已
he'll never let me forget it!
他一直提
Okay, we should go.
好了 我们该走了
Oh! Unless, did you want to join for the hike?
或者你们想一起去徒步吗
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm -- I'm running the Santa Monica stairs
不好意思 我今天下午
this afternoon, so...
要去爬圣塔莫尼卡台阶 所以
Oh. ‭It's Saturday.
今天是周六
If they don't see me there, they get worried.
大家伙儿看不到我会着急的
And thank you for the yummies.
谢谢你们的冰沙
They sure are!
真的好好喝
Oh, no.
一点也不好吃
So, um, I didn't know you were a museum lover.
我都不知道你喜欢博物馆呢
Oh, well, yeah, before you and I started dating,
在咱俩开始约会之前
I used to go to the museum all the time.
我总是去博物馆
I'm not blaming you, of course.
当然 我不是在怪你
You know that the Hollywood Wax Museum
你知道好莱坞名人蜡像博物馆
isn't an actual --
不是真正的...
Okay, what about you, Rocky?
你呢 猛男洛奇
You get winded taking towels upstairs.
你拿毛巾上楼都气喘吁吁
Well, that's because after we met -- not blaming you --
是因为遇到你之后 不是怪你哦
um, I sort of -- I tapered off a little bit.
我有点 我逐渐不爬了
To focus on the relationship.
为了专注于咱俩的感情
But this is good.
但这样很好啊
Yeah. ‭Us getting back to our roots.
我们重拾初心
You know, enjoy the museum.
享受博物馆
- Yeah, enjoy your run. - ‭I will.
-享受你的跑步 -我会的
You haven't, by chance --
或许你还没...
They're still in the box.
他们还在盒子里
- Back of the closet? - ‭Uh-huh.
-橱柜后面吗 -是的
How come you never let me play with that thing?
你怎么从来没让我玩过那个东西
This "thing" medaled in three different Air Expos, Manny.
这东西可在三个航空展上获过奖 曼尼
It's not a toy.
它可不是玩具
Hey, look at this.
看这个
That's Sonia's fiance, right?
这是桑娅的未婚夫 对吧
It says he's from one of the richest families in Colombia.
据说他来自哥伦比亚最富有的家族
I knew the guy was all right.
我知道那家伙不错的
Oh, I see. Being rich makes you "all right."
我明白了 有钱就是不错
That's not what I meant.
我不是这个意思
Your mom thought he might be a gold digger.
你妈以为他可能是来傍大款的
And by the way, unlike you, I grew up working-class.
而不像你 我可是成长于工薪阶级家庭
Oh, please. The only blue collar in this house
得了 这个家里唯一的蓝领[项圈]
is the bedazzled one on your purebred French bulldog.
就是你纯种法斗脖子上的亮晶晶项圈
She was going through a depressed period.
她最近挺抑郁的
You're only as happy as your least happy child, Manny.
孩子情绪的最低处 决定了父母开心的上限
I'm just saying, I've never seen you
我只是说 我从没见过
show much interest in someone who didn't have money.
你对没钱的人感兴趣
That's ridiculous.
胡说
Hey, buddy! Come on, take a load off.
老兄 过来歇歇吧
- Have a drink with us. - Oh, thank you, sir.
-一起喝一杯 -谢谢你先生
I know what it's like to put in a hard day's work.
我知道辛苦工作一天是什么感觉
Jay Pritchett, by the way.
杰·普里契特 顺便一提
‭Yes, we've met many times.
知道 我们见过很多次了
Remember, a couple years ago, I loaned you money for a cab?
记得吗 几年前 我借给你打车钱
Oh, yeah, right.
对啊
Ay, Mama.
妈妈
She's not after our money.
她不是为了我们的钱
How do I know?
我怎么知道
She has money! Lots of it.
她有钱 很有钱
And I'm marrying this woman.
我要娶这个女人
I'll see you for the wedding next week.
我们下周婚礼见
Ay, next week?
下周
That's very quick.
真快啊
I don't want to give Sonia a chance to change her mind.
我不想给桑娅改变想法的机会
I'm sure you don't.
我肯定你不想
You can't marry my sister.
你不能娶桑娅
Why?
为什么
Two words.
英文两字
Maybe one, with a hyphen.
带连字符也可以算一个字
Gold digger.
傍大款
I've always hated to see people
我很讨厌看到人
take advantage of others in that way.
以这种方式占别人便宜
I can't let that happen here.
我不能让这种事发生在我家
But doesn't your sister have a lot of money?
但桑娅不是很有钱吗
Would you be that quick to marry her if she didn't?
如果她没钱 你会那么快就和她结婚吗
Hey, have you seen Nestor?
你有看到涅斯托尔吗
I sent him off.
我把他送走了
Nobody's taking anyone's money today.
今天没人会拿别人的钱了
Oh, I didn't need that much from him.
我不需要他给我很多钱
I just need to reshoot the end of my thesis film.
我只需要重新拍摄我的电影结尾
The special effects are weak, and Prague was clearly faked.
特效很差 布拉格一看就是假的
What the hell are you talking about?
你到底在说什么
Nestor. His family's loaded.
涅斯托尔 他家很有钱
I looked him up.
我查了他的资料
He's a Berellez?
他是贝瑞勒兹家族的吗
They own a soccer team, 12 hotels,
他们手里有一支足球队 十二家酒店
and five judges!
还有五个法官
Oh, really?
真的吗
Well, I don't care if you want to buy 10,000 closets.
我不在乎你是否想买一万个壁橱
I'm not at work.
我没上班
I am trying to bond with my child...ren.
我想和我的孩子... 们共处
Bye.
拜拜
Hi.
你好
So sorry about that. It's just -- Ugh.
实在抱歉 只是
People are constantly trying to sell me,
总是有人要给我推销产品
and it is not always appropriate, you know?
但真的不是所有时刻都合适谈生意 你懂吗
I hear that.
完全理解
Mommies, mommies.
妈妈们 妈妈们
Gary.
盖理
Let's start with a deep hip stretch.
让我们从臀部拉伸开始
I find this class hard enough. How do you do it with twins?
我觉得这门课好难 你怎么还能带双胞胎上
Well, uh, it's nothing compared to the babies
在难也没有处理工作上
I got to juggle at the office, huh?
那些巨婴还难啊
I know that feeling.
我明白那种感觉
Now up and down, a little deeper.
上下运动 更深一些
You know, there's a baby-friendly tapas place
有个欢迎婴儿的小吃店
Atticus and I go to after, if you ladies are up for it.
阿迪克斯和我一会去 你们愿意可以一起来
I don't think it's time to bond, Gary,
我觉得现在不是交朋友的时刻 盖里
and I'm pretty sure you had to sue to get in here.
而且我挺确定你是告了这里才让你进来的
He did. And up.
他有 向上
We had to settle. And down.
我们不得不和解 向下
So, what kind of closets do you make?
你们做什么样的衣橱
Because I actually need --
因为我其实需要
You know what? Would it be okay if we did this after class?
我们下课再说可以吗
It's just, I get no time with them.
只是 我平常没时间和他们在一起
Of course, of course.
当然 当然
Oh. Hey. How were the steps?
爬台阶怎么样了
Uh...so -- so great. So tough.
很好 很辛苦
Uh, love the burn.
喜欢燃烧卡路里的感觉
What's up with the hat? I can barely see your eyes.
帽子怎么回事 我都看不到你的眼睛了
Uh, same old eyes.
还是一样的眼眸
I'm just gonna go ahead and, um --
我只是要去
Why is there a Wilson logo on your forehead?
为什么你的额头上有电影里排球的标志
I don't know. Must be the hat.
我不知道 肯定是帽子上的
Nobody's buying it.
没人会买账的
Just skip to the part where you tell us the truth.
直接跳到告诉我们真相的部分吧
Fine. I-I never made it to the stairs, okay?
行吧 我没爬楼梯
I got distracted.
我分心了
I'm a fraud. Happy?
我是骗子 开心了吗
I never even made it to the stairs.
我甚至都没去楼梯那儿
Don't even know where they are.
甚至都不知道在哪里
You know, I can't say I'm --
我不能说我
I'm not a tad bit disappointed in you, Mitchell.
我对你一点都不失望 米奇尔
It's just a little lonely going on this journey
只是独自踏上这段自我提升的旅程
of self-improvement all by my--
我有点孤单
- What is that? - Hmm? What?
-那是什么 -什么
What -- What part of the museum did you get this from?
你从博物馆哪里弄到这个的
Uh, well, apparen--
很显然
obviously, you're not...
很显然 你不熟悉
familiar with Matisse's feather...period.
马蒂斯的羽毛时期
Did you maybe get this across the street from the museum?
你是不是在博物馆对面弄到的
Hmm? ‭No.
不是
'Cause if you had, you'd have a distinctive and sparkly...
如果是的话 你会有一个与众不同
hand stamp!
闪闪发光手背印章
I-I just need one ticket.
我只需要一张票
Oh, my God, you guys, let's hurry!
大家快点
Hurrying where?
快点去哪里
Uh, there's a retrospective --
有个回顾展
"Cher in the '70s: Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves."
"七十年代的雪儿: 吉普赛人 流浪汉和小偷
You went without me?
你丢下我自己去了
What do we always say?
我们一直怎么说的
Every Cher experience should be
每次看雪儿的经历都应该是
- a shared experience. - Shared experience.
-共同的经历 -共同的经历
I'm -- I'm sorry, Mitchell.
我很抱歉 米奇尔
If I could turn back time --
如果我能让时光倒流
Knock knock!
敲敲
Give -- Give me the feather.
把羽毛给我
No, put the feather in your cap.
不 把羽毛放在你的帽子里
Hey, just checking in. How was the museum?
只是来看看 博物馆怎么样
Oh, so great. Sit down!
非常好 请坐
Cam was actually about to tell us
小卡本来正想告诉我们
what he learned about Picasso.
他对毕加索的了解
Oh, I know so little about him.
我对他知之甚少
Well, it -- it turns out he was born, um...
原来 他是出生在
in the wagon of a -- of a traveling...show.
巡回表演的马车上
His mother, poor thing,
他的妈妈 真可怜
she was forced to dance for all --
她被迫为大家跳舞
You want me to teach you how to play bridge?
你想让我教你打桥牌吗
- Sure. - ‭I need a new partner.
-当然 -我需要一个新玩伴
I keep beating the computer.
我和电脑玩总是赢
Listen, we want to invite you guys
我们想邀请你们
to a dinner party tonight.
来参加今晚的晚餐聚会
Yeah, you guys are gonna love Xander and Mateo.
你们会很喜欢赞德和马特奥的
They just finished an ultramarathon in Mozambique,
他们刚在莫桑比克跑完超级马拉松
where they're lecturing.
他们也在那办讲座
And to build up an appetite,
为了暖身开胃
we play sprinting charades.
我们玩短跑猜谜
Yeah, and, uh, this silly version of Celebrity
还有一个搞笑版本的明星游戏
using only characters from Dickens.
只用狄更斯小说中的角色
That sounds so fun.
听起来真有趣
We'll be-We'll be right back.
我们失陪一下
We were just fanning out some celery on a platter.
我们正在用大浅盘把芹菜摆成扇形
Okay, I want them gone.
我想让他们走人
Even if you mean kill them, I'm in.
哪怕你是指杀死他们 我也同意
I mean, what are we supposed to do?
我们该怎么办
Spend the next six months with our drapes closed,
像胡娇脸颊填充物掉下来后那样
like Pepper after one of his cheek implants fell?
羞得整整六个月都不拉开窗帘吗
Speaking of Picasso.
他那歪脸还真是毕加索画风
How are we supposed to get out of this?
我们怎么才能脱身
Move out west.
搬到西边去
That's what those towns are for -- disappearin'.
那些小镇就是为了人间蒸发用的
We live a mile from the ocean. What town?
咱家离海边就一千六百米 哪来的小镇
What's wrong with me?
我脑子有病吗
I am so stupid!
我太蠢了
Sweetie, what is it?
亲爱的 怎么了
She beat me, and she never even played before!
她赢了我 这还是她第一次玩
I'm such a loser!
我真是个废物
Is she okay, or...?
她还好吗
Vera has this thing
薇拉总是这样
where she needs to be perfect all the time.
不能每件事都做到完美她就抓狂
You know, the only reason we moved to this neighborhood
我们搬到这个社区的唯一原因
was so we could be closer
就是住在这里
to this accelerated school she got into.
离她被录取的精英学校更近
Maybe we need to reconsider the move?
或许我们该重新考虑这个决定
Naturally, we'll pay for all six months.
当然 我们还是会付这六个月的钱
Yes.
好的
We should go talk to her.
我们该去和她聊聊
I'm sorry, guys.
抱歉 大伙
I was looking forward to that celery.
我本来很期待一起吃芹菜
I could really use a cheat day.
我今天就想吃这些高热量的
Vera?!
薇拉
Lily, how --
莉莉 你怎么
I set up my mirror so I could see her cards.
我把镜子放在那就能看到她的牌了
I had to!
我别无选择
I couldn't stand her making me feel bad about myself.
她总让我感到低人一等 我受不了了
No, no, I get it.
不 我理解
I'm not sure they don't enjoy making people feel inferior.
感觉他们好像也不介意让别人感到低人一等
Which is something you guys could never do.
你们俩就永远不会让人感到低人一等
Wait, did she just say
等等 她是不是说
that we could never make people feel inferior
我们永远不会让人感到低人一等
because we're so inferior ourselves?
因为我们自己也不是什么人上人
But cleverly wrapped in a compliment to avoid detection?
但用夸奖的语气说出来 让人不易察觉
In other words, the perfect gay zinger?
也就是说 完美的基佬损人方式
Well, she may not finish high school,
她或许不能高中毕业
but she will hold her own at any Tony party
但她在任何托尼奖派对都不会吃亏
- the rest of her life. - Yeah, she will. Yeah.
-这辈子都不会 -没错 不会吃亏
I'm really sorry to hear that,
听你这么说我很遗憾
but honestly, if your wife left you
但说实话 要是你妻子离开你
just because you missed her birthday --
只是因为你错过了她生日
To drive you to the airport.
是为了开车送你去机场
I heard him, Manny. Thank you.
我听到了 曼尼 谢谢
you're probably better off without her.
或许没有她你会过得更好
You're right.
你说得对
I only wish I had something nicer to wear
我只希望今晚去参加儿子的婚礼
to our son's wedding tonight.
能有件好衣服穿
You know, you and I are about the same size.
要知道 咱俩的尺寸差不多
Why don't you borrow my tux?
不如我把燕尾服借给你
Really?
真的吗
I insist.
你一定要穿
In fact, I want to give you something else.
并且我还想另外给你样东西
Your plane?
你的飞机
Uh, no, I was reaching for my wallet.
不 我只是在拿钱包
You know, to give you that money I s-still owe you for the cab.
为了还欠着你的出租车钱
I've admired this plane
自从那次在房顶
ever since I fell off the roof getting it for you.
帮你拿飞机时摔下来 我就一直很喜欢它
I'm so touched and honored.
我好感动 好荣幸
Well, actually --
其实
He fell off the roof.
他从房顶摔下来了
Fine.
好吧
Enjoy.
尽情玩
I will name her Roberta.
我要叫它萝伯塔
It's a boy plane.
那飞机是带把的
I feel like I got the buckles wrong.
我好像把粘扣粘错了
Does this straitjacket look right on me?
你觉得我穿这紧身衣看起来正常吗
More and more.
越来越合你了[精神病人也穿]
Dad, I love you,
爸 我爱你
but I don't have time for another magic trick.
但我没时间再陪你练其他魔术了
I can't find my ID,
我找不到我的证件
and I need a copy of it for this NASA job,
而申请太空总署的工作需要复印件
and my application has to be mailed by 5:00.
我的申请表必须在五点前寄出去
I'm sorry. Can I help you look?
真抱歉 要我帮你找吗
This is hopeless.
太让人绝望了
Unless there is some way to jump the line
除非有办法能在邮局和车管局
at both the post office and the DMV,
不用乖乖排长队
and the only way to get to either of them at this hour
而这个时间能顺利开车到这两个地方
is to drive in the carpool lane.
只有走拼车专用道
We're ba-a-ck!
我们回来了
Oh, my God! I missed you so much!
我的天 我好想你们
Oh, I got this. You look so tired.
交给我 你看起来好累
But I've been napping all day.
可我睡了一天了
You're welcome.
不客气
Can I at least smell their heads?!
至少让我闻闻他们的头吧
Nestor?
涅斯托尔
Hi. It's Gloria Pritchett again.
又是我 歌洛莉亚·普里契特
Please call me back.
拜托你给我回电话
I need to explain.
我需要解释
This was all a big mistake.
这都是一个大误会
Nestor, where are you, my love?
涅斯托尔 你去哪了 我的爱人
Ay, no.
Sonia...
桑娅
I have very bad news to tell you.
我有个坏消息要告诉你
Let me get Nestor. He's my rock.
让我先叫涅斯托尔过来 他是我的精神支柱
Nestor!
涅斯托尔
Ay, what happened to my independent sister
我那个独立的妹妹哪去了
that I admired so much because she needed no man?
我是那么崇拜她 因为她不需要男人
Where...is he?
他在哪里
Well, I thought he was a gold digger,
我以为他是来傍大款的
so I chased him out.
所以我把他赶走了
You did what?!
你说你干了什么
But the silver lining is that you still have all your money!
塞翁失马焉知非福 好歹你的钱还在啊
What money? I don't have any money!
什么钱 我有个屁钱啊
What do you mean?
你这话什么意思
The money from the hot-sauce business that you're doing so well.
辣酱生意红火 你不是赚了很多钱吗
No, it was all a lie.
没有 那全是谎言
I just didn't want him to be suspicious.
我编来让他不会怀疑我别有居心
Look, I'm wearing aluminum earrings!
看 我戴的是铝制耳环
They're turning my ears green!
我的耳朵都要戴发绿了
It took me two years to land that rich, beautiful moron.
我用足足两年才钓上这个有钱帅气的傻逼
Where am I going to get that kind of money?!
我还能去哪里找到这样的大款啊
Oh, I tripped!
哎哟 我被绊倒了
Someone call a lawyer!
快来个人帮我找律师
You didn't trip.
你才没被绊倒
Yes, I did! Look!
有的 就是有 你看
Uh, the floor is all wet.
地上都是湿的
Sonia, that didn't work at the Princess Cruise ship,
桑娅 这招在豪华游轮上不好使
and it's not going to work here.
在我这也不会有用
Every time I try to get my life together,
每次我想好好过日子
you always ruin it for me.
你就总是要搞破坏
You owe me a rich husband.
你欠我一个有钱老公
I'll find you one.
我再给你找一个就是了
There are plenty of old, rich men around here
这里多得是又老又有钱的男人
that would do anything that you say.
愿意当你的爱情奴隶
Some of them can still hear.
某些老男人还有听力呢
Oh. Who's this?
这位是谁啊
He's, um...
他是...
He's the best hedge guy in town.
全城搞树篱[对冲基金]最牛逼的人
Congratulate him. He just got a new plane.
快恭喜他吧 他刚入手一架飞机
Ohh. A hedge guy.
搞对冲的啊
Fascinating.
真有意思
And how did you get started in that business?
那你是怎么进入这行的呢
I bought the clippers.
我买了剪子[快艇队]
And where are you going, dressed so nice?
你穿得这么帅是要去哪里吗
A wedding.
去参加婚礼
Ohh, I love weddings.
我好喜欢婚礼啊
Would you like to accompany me?
能有幸请你陪我一同参加吗
I would love to!
乐意之至
And can we take your plane?
能坐[带]你的飞机去吗
Yeah, sure.
当然啊 没问题
Why is our gardener wearing your tuxedo?
为什么我们家的园丁穿着你的燕尾服
Why is Nestor gone?
为什么涅斯托尔不在了
Let me lock the door first.
让我先去把门锁上
Gloria! You ruined my life again!
歌洛莉亚 你又毁我人生
Is this your ring?
这是你的戒指吗
It is!
是的
Is this your sock?
这是你的袜子吗
It is.
是的
Is this...your card?
这是... 你的牌吗
I don't remember!
我忘了
Now everything is where it belongs.
现在所有东西都物归原处
Except for this candle, which obviously belongs...
除了这根蜡烛 它应该是被放在...
...on the piano!
钢琴上
- Oh, my God! ‭- What?!
-天啊 -什么
You're right. It's like I want to fail!
是的 感觉我就是来丢人的
Dad, stop being crazy. Your act is great!
老爸 你别瞎说 你的表演超赞啊
It's a flat finish, which means it's a flat act.
结尾平淡就表示这是个无聊的表演
It's obviously two candles.
很明显是有两根蜡烛啊
I put the second one over there while I was distracting you
我是趁你们分心的时候把第二支放过去的
by throwing a card into that stupid grape.
就是把牌射进这蠢葡萄那会儿
We're home!
我们到家啦
My babies!
我的宝贝们
I feel like I haven't seen you all day!
感觉一天没见到你们了呢
Did you have fun today?
你们今天玩得开心吗
Well, that's easy to find out.
想知道也很简单
Let me just upload this baby cam footage.
让我上传一下今天的婴儿镜头影片
The what -- what was that? ‭Hmm?
你 你说什么
Oh, one of their buttons is actually a camera.
他们身上其中一颗纽扣是摄像头
It's not the greatest quality, but...
虽然画质不怎么样 不过...
Wait, you took my babies to a liquor store?!
等等 你带我的孩子们去酒水铺了吗
No, it's the --
没有 那是...
it's the wine museum.
是酒品博物馆啦
It's Ace Liquor, Luke.
卢克 明明是王牌酒水铺
I've been going there since I was 15...
老娘可是打从15...
minutes past my 21st birthday.
满21岁后15分钟首次踏入那里
Well, I am horrified --
我真是不敢想象....
Wait, wait, wait, I just fast-forwarded,
等等 等等 我刚刚快进了
and it's you talking to some lady at a yoga class.
看到你跟一个女人在瑜伽班上说话
She's from the magazine!
她是杂志上的人
You pimped out my babies for a sales pitch?
你为了生意出卖我宝宝的色相吗
Who did it hurt?
有谁受到伤害吗
Poppy!
茵素
Oh, disgusting. Personally, I can't stand --
太无耻了 我个人无法忍受...
Some guard at the DMV
车管局的某个保安
giving our five-month-old a bite of his hot dog.
让我们五个月大的婴儿咬了一口他的热狗
He only watched them for a second.
他只是帮忙照看了一下下而已啦
I was so happy you all wanted time with the babies today,
我本来还很高兴你们今天都愿意帮忙带孩子
because lately, it has felt like
因为最近我有种感觉
you didn't even want to be bothered with them.
你们好像都不想跟孩子们沾上边
Turns out you only want to help when it can help you.
结果原来你们都是无利不起早
Part of me wonders why we even stay here.
我心里都有一点纳闷我们为什么还要住这里
Because you eat and live here for free?
因为你在这里不用交房租加饭钱吗
I said "part."
我说了只有"一点"
Okay, I'm not saying what they did was great,
好啦 我不是要说他们做的对
but isn't that what families do?
但家人不就是这样吗
Help each other out?
互相帮助彼此
And are we ever really too young
如果能够帮助到家人
to come to our family's aid?
难道有年纪太小一说吗
You're not seriously trying to get us
你开什么玩笑 竟然打算说服我们
to let you use them for your magic trick, are you?
借孩子给你拿去表演魔术
It is my card!
真的是我的牌
You guys have been great.
感谢各位热烈的支持
But I should be getting my beautiful assistant here
不过是时候帮我可爱的小助手
out of this tuxedo and into some warm jammies.
脱下燕尾服 换上温暖舒适的睡衣了
You guys.
太客气啦
It's you that make it work.
表演成功都是你们的功劳
So, I'm sorry about earlier. I hope I wasn't rude.
我对之前的事感到很抱歉 希望我没有太无礼
Please. I totally get it. Are you free for a bite now?
没事 我完全理解 你现在有空一起吃东西吗
Sure. I guess I got a couple minutes.
当然 我想我还是有点时间的
Perfect!
完美
I'll get us a table at Straight to the Tapas.
我去"直达塔帕斯"餐厅订个位子
Great. Meet you there.
好极了 到时候见
I'm just getting rid of him. We're not going.
我只是想摆脱他 我们不去
Oh, thank God.
谢天谢地
When his shirt rose up earlier,
他的衬衫之前提上去的时候
I saw a Dora the Explorer tattoo.
我看到一个爱探险的朵拉的纹身
And I do not want to hear the story behind that one.
我可不想听到这背后的故事
This stays between us.
你知我知 不可外传