摩登家庭 第十一季 Modern Family Season 11 第5集: The Last Halloween

上映日期: 2,019

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 爱情

导演: 盖尔·曼库索 / 斯蒂文·莱维坦

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 诺兰·古德 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 奥布里·


台词
I don't feel so good.
我觉得不太舒服
Aww, what's going on?
小可怜 怎么了
Let's see.
让我看看
You are kinda warm.
你有点发烧啊
m 211 -8 b b b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
m 211 -8 b b b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
Maybe get rid of some of these blankets?
或许应该把毯子掀开散散热
m 0 0 b 1 -1 2 -2 4 -1 b 7 1 3 2 5 5 b 6 7 8 7 9 5 l 15 -6 b 18 -7 20 -6 20 -3 b 19 -1 17 2 17 4 b 16 7 20 7 21 6 b 22 4 23 2 25 -1 b 27 -2 29 -1 29 1 b 29 2 28 3 29 5 b 30 7 32 7 33 6 b 34 5 34 4 35 3 b 37 2 39 3 39 5 b 39 6 38 8 37 9 b 34 13 29 13 25 9 b 22 13 17 13 13 9 b 10 13 3 13 0 8
m 50 0 l 179 0 b b b 21 228 0 208 0 179 l 0 50 b 0 21 21 0 50 0
b
原创翻译 双语字幕
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Aw, that is cute.
真可爱啊
b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
You tried to scare me for Halloween.
你为了过万圣节打算吓我
m 200 -1 l 200 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
翻译 @少年影视派 亲爱的小贩 油腻希
How in the world did that not frighten you?
这怎么可能没有吓到你呢
Some of this is my actual blood.
其中有些还是我的真血呢
翻译 洗七里 澳洲电棒杀人赛
I nicked myself putting it on!
我在安装的时候把自己划伤了
Sweetie, you don't know the first thing about scaring people.
亲爱的 你完全不知道要怎么吓人
It's all about plausibility.
关键在于"可信度"
校对 新浪微博@赛太公
And you were awfully casual
你刚刚也太淡定了
for a guy who just got an ax in the chest.
完全不像一个胸口被斧头砍中的人
You know, if you really wanted to scare me,
如果你真的想吓我
时间轴 三水
you should've waited until I opened the closet
你应该等到我打开衣柜门时
and found you hanging by a necktie.
发现你用一条领带上吊死了
Excuse me!
什么烂主意
后期 想休长假的瓜瓜
I killed myself?!
我自杀吗
Yeah. Totally plausible.
是啊 这很有可信度
总监 生无可恋瓜
I mean, you've been so happy all these years,
你傻乐了这么多年
the other shoe is bound to drop, right?
抑郁肯定会在某一天爆发 不是吗
By the way,
顺便说下
I am not married to the whole necktie thing.
我也不是很信用领带上吊这一套
It could be, um...
也可以是...
shotgun or poison
举枪自尽或服毒自尽
or a power drill to the eye --
或者用电钻钻眼睛...
Stop. Stop!
打住 打住
Now you're scaring me.
现在你真的吓到我了
That's how you do it.
高手一出手 便知有没有
家 庭
摩 登
第十一季 第五集
Hey, happy Halloween!
万圣节快乐啊
It was until your mother ruined it.
本来是快乐的 却被你妈毁掉了
Oh, he's just mad
他只是在生气
because he tried to scare me and he couldn't.
他试图吓我却失败了
I'm tough to scare.
我很难被吓到的
My girlfriend's pregnant.
我女朋友怀孕了
- No! - ‭Phil.
-不要 -菲尔
She's our age.
她都跟我们差不多大了
If she was pregnant, it'd be on the news.
如果她都怀上孕了 会上新闻的
But good one.
但这招不错
Dad, I'm sorry.
爸 对不起
I don't have time to drop this off for you again.
我今早又没时间帮你把这个送过去
Ida Mae Mann?
艾达·梅·曼恩
Isn't that that lonely little lady that sits up in her window?
这不是那个整日坐在窗前的孤独妇人吗
He always makes me deliver his neighborhood association stuff
他总是逼我帮他送邻里协会的材料
because he's afraid of her.
因为他害怕她
That's crazy!
这也太离谱了
I go by that house all the time.
我经常经过那个房子的啊
Not hot, Phil.
这画面真不迷人 菲尔
Fine! She's creepy!
好吧 她很瘆人
She sits in that window like a store cat.
她像商店的招财猫一样整天坐在窗前
Okay.
好吧
I'll drop it off on the way to dinner with Bill.
我会在跟比尔去吃晚餐时顺带送过去的
He's taking me to Buon Cibo's at 6:00.
他要带我去好食餐厅 预约的6点
I'm going to Buon Cibo's at 6:00 with Janice.
我也要跟珍妮丝去好食餐厅 也是6点
Ew! I don't want to watch you
好恶心 我可不想看着你
run your discount body-spray game on her.
对她使用烂俗的泡妞手段
Change your reservation to later.
把你的预约时间改到晚一点
I can't.
臣弟做不到
She has to eat four hours before bed
她必须在睡前4小时用餐
because of the reflux.
否则就会出现胃反酸
- You change. ‭- No!
-你改时间吧 -不行
We're going out after to see "Texas Chainsaw Massacre,"
我们吃完要去看《德州电锯杀人狂 》
which I can't believe I agreed to.
我也不敢相信我竟然同意去看了
Ooh, that sounds like fun. I've never seen that movie.
那听上去好有趣啊 我从没看过这电影
Can you believe that? Me, of all people.
你敢信吗 我这个"克大胆"竟然没看过
Uh, then we're going.
那我们必须去看了
You think you can't be scared anymore?
你觉得已经没有任何东西能吓到你了吗
That's the most terrifying movie I've ever seen.
那是我看过的最吓人的电影了
Great, bring it.
好极了 放马过来吧
I look forward to being scared.
我很期待被吓到
I'm pregnant?
我竟然怀孕了
Phil!
菲尔
Did you get the costumes?
你买到装扮服了吗
Yeah, I -- I didn't have a lot of time,
是的 我时间不够
so I had to steal something from work.
于是我从上班的地方偷了些东西来
Please don't...
求你不要...
judge.
评判[法官袍]
Okay, that's not a bad start.
好吧 这个开头还算过得去
I think I can work with this, yes.
我觉得我可以用这个发挥一下
Lily, my pins!
莉莉 上别针
We are so excited for Halloween.
万圣节让我们激动万分
You know, for the first time in years,
多年来第一次
we're gonna get a little cray
我们打算潇洒走一回
and go to the big gay Halloween carnival,
去参加盛大的同志万圣节嘉年华
like we used to when we were young and childless --
就像我们当初青春年少 膝下无子时那样
And people still said "Cray."
那年"潇洒走一回"这说法也还没过时
We -- We've always had Lily with us in the past,
以前我们总是把莉莉拴在身边
but we are on a crusade to make her more independent,
但我们现在正在努力培养她的独立性
so when she got an invite to a party, we sort of, uh --
所以当有人邀请她参加一个派对时 我们就...
- RSVP'd for her. ‭- Yeah.
-立刻替她回复会参加 -是的
But you know what? It's gonna be good for
但说实话 让她出去
her to socialize with people her age,
跟她同年纪的人社交一下对她有好处
and good for us to socialize with people half our age.
而我们出去跟年纪只有我们一半的人社交也有好处
Okay.
好啦
Mitchell...
米奇
Judge... Judy.
朱迪法官[著名电视人物]
Your talent...
你的才能
It's like you were touched by a gay-ngel.
你简直像被同性恋天使赐福过一样
And you said we would never wear
你之前还说我们再也不会穿
the groomsmen shoes from Pepper's wedding again.
参加胡娇婚礼时穿过的伴郎鞋了呢
Just a second, young lady.
稍等一下 小姑娘
W-We're very happy you're going to this party tonight,
我们很高兴你今晚要去参加派对
but, uh, isn't this costume a little, uh, suggestive?
你不觉得这个装扮服 性暗示意味太明显吗
This is my actual cheerleading outfit.
这就是我在拉拉队的真队服
You guys know I'm doing that, right?
你们知道我参加拉拉队了吧
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Totally.
是啊 是啊 当然啦 肯定知道啦
We should have known that, right?
我们应该知道这事的 对吧
Oh, Joe, you're home early?
乔 你提前回来了吗
I got a surprise for --
我准备了一个惊喜...
Oh. Manny.
曼尼
Look, I know you breastfed until you could stand,
我知道你吃母乳吃到能走路的年纪
but aren't you a little old to be trick-or-treating?
但你现在还玩不给糖就捣蛋 年纪大了点吧
This isn't for Halloween.
这不是为万圣节准备的
I'm in final rehearsals for my one-man show
我的单人秀正处于最后的排练阶段
"Sigmund Freud: Here Ego Again."
《西格蒙德·弗洛伊德:自我再出发》
I've saved you four seats, but if you need more --
我给你留了四张票 但如果你需要更多...
No, four's good.
不用 四张够了
So, what's the surprise?
话说 到底是什么惊喜
Well, it's kind of a Joe thing.
是给乔的啦
You know, he's out trick-or-treating with his friends.
他正跟他朋友一起在外面讨糖吃
I-I'll wait till he comes home to show it to him.
我等他回来再给他看
Hmm, playing favorites with your sons,
偏心地对待你的儿子们
perhaps unconsciously repeating the cycle
可能会无形中重复
your own father perpetuated on --
你父亲造成的...
You know, one ticket's gonna be good enough.
一张票就够了
Is it cold in here, or is it just me
屋里真的冷 还是因为我扮成
because I am the frozen lady from "Frozen"?
《冰雪奇缘》里的冻人美女所以觉得冷
Why aren't you wearing your costume?
你为什么还不穿你的装扮服
Let it go, Gloria. Let it go.
"随它吧" 歌洛莉亚 随它吧
But you said that since Joe was out with Devon's family
但是你说过既然乔跟德文一家出去了
that we were going to do something fun together.
我们就要一起找点乐子
Yes, fun. Have a Scotch,
对 找乐子 喝杯威士忌
put that mutant spider costume on Stella --
给斯黛拉穿那件变异蜘蛛装扮服
Fine, I'll go meet Mitch and Cam by myself.
好吧 我自己去找米奇跟小卡
But you're gonna miss Joe's reaction
但等乔看到我给他的大惊喜时
when I give him my big surprise!
你就看不到他的反应了
It's just a candy bar!
一个糖果棒而已啊
18 months ago, in an underreported news event,
一年半前 在一个未曝光事件中
NagaSnacki Food Solutions
娜迦零食食品公司
discontinued the greatest candy bar of all time.
停产了有史以来最棒的糖果棒
The Fudgy Duddy.
老软糖
After an exhaustive search --
经过艰难的搜索
One Googling.
就谷歌了一下
...I tracked down this beauty.
我找到了这个尤物
Now my son can experience the kind of quality confection
现在我儿子可以体验到我们从小吃到大的
our generation grew up with.
高品质糖果了
"Our"?
什么我们
I am a Gen X. Don't make me a Boomer.
我是X一代的 可不是你们婴儿潮时代的
Something horrible happened to me last weekend.
上周发生了一件很可怕的事情
I'll just have the...
我要...
seafood salad.
海鲜沙拉
Very good. And for your husband?
好的 您的丈夫呢
Oh, no, no. He's my husband.
不不 他是我丈夫
That's what he said.
他说的就是丈夫
The day I have dreaded finally came --
我一直害怕的一天终于来了
people assume that I am Jay's...
人们开始直接判断我是杰的...
wife.
老婆
You kids have fun!
孩子们玩得开心
Manny. What are you doing?
曼尼 你在干什么
Saving your house from being egged.
防止你的房子被扔鸡蛋啊
You're all out of treats.
你的糖果都送完了
Luckily I found a candy bar to give away.
还好我找到了一个糖果棒送出去
Oh, no.
糟糕
My Fudgy Duddy's gone!
我的老软糖没了
Nobody move!
不许动
Hello there. Uh, two for "Texas Chainsaw Massacre."
你好 两张《德州电锯杀人狂》的票
Sorry, that sold out weeks ago.
抱歉 几周前就卖完了
Which should've been updated on our website, Bernard!
要在我们的网站上更新啊 伯纳德
But we still have seats
不过有一部超吓人的
for that super scary Japanese film.
日本电影还有票
- Yes! - ‭Uh, pause.
-可以 -稍等
How scary? How Japanese?
有多吓人 有多日本
I think the literal translation is
电影名字直接翻译过来好像是
"Make Dead with Old-Face Baby."
《返老婴儿杀人案》
- Two, please. - No, um...
-请给我们两张票 -不
Come on, honey, you promised me a good scare.
拜托 亲爱的 你答应我要看恐怖电影的
This'll be fun!
肯定好看啦
- Okay. ‭- Okay.
-好吧 -好的
No!
How you doing?
你怎么样
Great. I'm so scared.
很好 我好害怕
Don't patronize me.
别糊弄我
You don't think I can tell when you're faking it?
你以为我看不出来你是装的吗
"Oh, Phil, mmm. It's so good."
"菲尔 好棒好爽啊"
I know you hated my gumbo.
我知道你讨厌我的秋葵浓汤
Uh, excuse me.
打扰一下
Uh, I'm having a hard time in there.
我在里面有些煎熬
I -- I came to see a movie I'd already seen.
我本来是来看一部我已经看过的电影
Knew where all the jump scares were.
我知道所有突然吓人的地方
Could you tell me where the big ones are for this one?
你能告诉我这电影里哪些地方最吓人吗
Sorry, dude. Haven't seen it.
抱歉 哥们儿 我还没看过
I have.
我看过
Ohhhh! God.
天啊
It's okay.
还好
He's behind the door.
他在门后
He's behind the door.
他在门后
He's behind the --
他在门
Something is wrong with you!
你有问题吧
Wow. This place has changed.
这里都变了
It used to be so much...
这里以前更...
gayer.
基一点
Straight people always take our best stuff.
直男直女们老是抢走我们最好的东西
First, they came for our brunches, and I said nothing.
一开始 他们抢我们的早午餐 我没说什么
Oh, hey -- hey, Norm! Hey, Denise!
嘿 诺姆 丹妮斯
Hey, girlfriends!
嘿 姑娘们
I...don't think we can say that.
我们...不能那样说吧
You can't. Yeah.
确实不能
Wait. I-I-Isn't Lily at a party at your house?
等等 莉莉不是在你们家开派对吗
- Yeah. - That you're chaperoning?
-对啊 -你们不是要在场监护吗
That was the plan, but then a bunch of older kids showed up,
本来是的 可是后来来了一帮大孩子
so we figured they'd be fine.
所以我们觉得不会有什么事
Bye, bitches!
再见 碧池们
It's okay. I'm a girl.
这可以说 我是女的
Okay, older kids, no adults.
好吧 大孩子 没有成年人
Okay, where are we on the panic scale?
好吧 我们现在是几级恐慌
There you are.
你们在这儿
Thank you for saving me from a night
谢谢你们救了我
of listening to Jay talk about his Fudgy Buddy.
省得听杰说一晚上他的老软糖
Sorry. We just found out Lily is at an unsupervised party.
抱歉 我们刚发现莉莉在一个无人监护的派对中
Oh, you want me to check her Insta?
你们要我查一下她的照片分享网吗
Lily -- Lily has Insta?
莉莉 她还有上这社交媒体吗
You have Insta?
你有这个的账号啊
What, you think I'm too old to have Insta?
怎么 你觉得我老到不能用不了这网站了吗
Okay, I-I want to hear all about what you're going through,
好吧 我想听你到底经历了什么
right after we figure out --
但要先找到
- I found her! ‭- Okay.
-我找到她了 -好吧
- And looks like she's having fun. - ‭Okay.
-看样子她玩得很开心啊 -好吧
Who is this cute boy next to her?
她旁边那个帅哥是谁
Can you turn it ar--
你能转一下屏
Okay, that's Garth. I -- I've never trusted him.
那是加斯 我一直就不信任他
I saw him buying deodorant when he was 9.
我看他九岁的时候就在买体香剂
Is that a beer?
那是啤酒吗
- Okay, I'm... - Don't just stand there!
-我 -别站在那里
- I'm going to call her! - Call her!
-我要给她打电话 -打电话
I didn't think it was gonna be so cold tonight.
我没想到今晚这么冷
I'm sorry if I seem off.
很抱歉 我可能有点不在状态
It's just that lately,
只是最近
people have been mistaking me for a much older --
人们常误以为我是年纪更大的...
Excuse me, ma'am. Are you lost?
女士 请问你是迷路了吗
I can't find my friends.
我找不到我的朋友了
Let me help you.
我帮你找
Oh, what a nice young man.
真是个好心的年轻人
Get off me!
放开我啦
Perhaps this candy bar represents your lost innocence?
或许这根糖果棒代表着你失去的童真
It represents delicious chocolate.
它就代表美味的巧克力而已
You're sure you gave this to a Spider-Man?
你确定你是把它给了一个蜘蛛侠吗
I'm sure.
我确定
You know, it's also hard to ignore
而且很难不注意到
that this object you seek has a phallic shape --
你找的这个物品形状像阴茎
Why did I talk you out of that mime major?
我当年为毛劝你放弃念哑剧专业
Spidey -- 11:00.
蜘蛛仔 十一点钟方向
Spider-Man! Hold up!
蜘蛛侠 等等
I'm not Spider-Man, okay? I'm Deadpool.
老子才不是蜘蛛侠 是死侍好吗
It's a totally different character.
是两个截然不同的角色
Look, before I realized
听着 在我还没意识到
it was a symbol of this man's mortality,
那糖果棒是这男人必死命运的象征时
I accidentally gave you some candy bar --
我不小心给了你
Not "some" candy bar, a Fudgy Duddy.
不是普通的糖果棒 是老软糖
Look, you kids should know about this.
听着 我来告诉告诉你们
There was a famous commercial back in the '70s,
七零年代时 曾有一个风靡全美的广告
first time on TV a girl touched a baseball.
头一次有女生在电视上碰触篮球
It's got a red and blue wrapper with a --
包装纸是红蓝相间的 上面还有...
Oh, yeah, I remember.
对 我想起来了
It looked gross, so I gave it to my mom.
看起来很恶心 我就给我妈了
She just left to go to that festival in West Hollywood.
她刚出门去西好莱坞参加那个嘉年华了
Describe her.
形容一下她
She's kind of shy, loves animals --
她有点害羞 很喜欢动物
No, her costume.
不是 是她的装扮服
Oh. She's dressed as Martha Stewart.
她扮成家政女王玛莎·斯图尔特
Ironic, since I had cereal for dinner.
很讽刺 因为我晚餐是吃麦片打发的
Come with me. I need you.
跟我来 我需要你
For emotional support?
在精神上支持你吗
Carpool lane!
走拼车道需要人
I hope this doesn't sound too mushy, but...
希望这句话听起来不会太多愁善感 但...
I really love hooking up with you.
我真的很喜欢和你乱搞
Well, I hate to think
我不愿去想
I'm pulling you away from some Halloween fun.
我害你没去参加万圣节狂欢
You know, partying with your more...youthful friends.
就是跟你那些更...年轻的朋友开派对
Hush, silly Janice.
说什么傻话 珍妮丝
If I was interested in youthful things,
如果我对年轻的东西感兴趣
would I be here with you?
我现在又怎么会跟你坐在这里
Aww, babe. You have no idea how much I've missed you.
宝贝 你都不知道我有多想你
I think I have some idea.
我还是多少知道一点的
Bill's been away fighting a forest fire for weeks.
比尔离开了几周 去扑灭山火
He called me once to say he missed me,
他打了一次电话给我 说他想念我
so I sent him a pic of me in a cute outfit.
于是我给他发了一张我穿着可爱衣服的照片
I expected "Wow" or a fire emoji.
我预期他会发句惊叹或惹火的表情
Instead I got...
然而我收到的是
"Send more boobs"?
"再发点露奶照"
I'm not mad, but I don't want to make it a habit
我没生气 但我不想把这变成日常
of sending...nudes.
就是发...裸照
Wait. You actually sent boob pics?
等等 你真的发了露奶照吗
Yeah. How much smoke did you inhale?
是啊 你到底吸入了多少浓烟
This isn't my number, Alex.
这不是我的电话号码 艾丽克斯
It's the one you called from.
你就是用这号码打给我的啊
Because my phone died.
因为我的手机没电了
So I borrowed Creepy Craig's.
我就借用了怪咖克雷格的手机
Wait.
等等
You sent Creepy Craig a naked photo?
你发了一张裸照给怪咖克雷格吗
Alex!
艾丽克斯
Oh, my God! There's, like, 11?!
老天鹅啊 你发了11张
Well, you --
你...
he kept asking!
是他一直问我要嘛
You think I'm as pervy as Creepy Craig?
你以为我跟怪咖克雷格一样变态吗
I don't know Creepy Craig!
我又不认识怪咖克雷格
Well, he knows you!
但他对你的认识可"透彻"了
You really think I would disrespect you like that?
你真觉得我会这样不尊重你吗
What else did "I" ask for?
"我"还提过什么要求
Oh, don't.
别看了
Oh, my God. Are you outside?
天啊 你这是在外面吗
You know, I've always worried
我一直都担心
that maybe we were just too different,
我们可能太不相同
but the fact that you think I'm capable of writing
但你居然认为我能写出这种下流话
"Do butt now -- hit with magazine"?
"现在换屁股 用杂志打屁股"
You know what?
其实我觉得
This isn't working, Alex.
我们不合适 艾丽克斯
No, wait!
不 等等
Can you at least ask Craig to delete those?
你至少能不能叫克雷格删掉那些照片
I think you know how to reach him!
我想你知道该怎么联系他
Trust me, I've had enough Halloween mischief
相信我 我这辈子的万圣节恶作剧
for one lifetime.
已经玩够了
I'm ready for this now.
我准备好过这种生活了
You are such a mature person.
你心智真成熟
I can't even imagine you as a wild child.
我都无法想象你狂野贪玩的样子
Oh, yeah.
是啊
Five years ago, we hit this one house.
五年前 我们袭击了一栋房子
The family was always calling the cops on us
那家人每次都报警抓我们
for lighting off fireworks.
因为我们丢点燃的烟花
‭Standard stuff --
都是常见的那一套
TP, sugar in the gas tank --
用卷纸撒满他家 往汽车油箱里倒糖[会凝结]
but then I noticed they had
然后 我注意到他们
like 20 of those stupid garden gnomes.
有大约20个那种傻兮兮的花园地精摆设
- Oh, my God. - I know, so douchey.
-天啊 -就是啊 什么老太婆品味
So we posed them having sex, rang the doorbell,
于是我们把地精摆成性交姿势 然后按门铃
and then when they opened the door, we blew them up.
等他们一开门 我们就把地精炸上天
Are you not getting it?
你没懂好笑在哪里吗
It's kind of subtle, so --
笑点是有点隐晦啦 就是...
That was my house.
那是我家
But...you live in a condo.
但你住在公寓啊
Now.
现在是的
Years ago, my husband's father died
几年前 我公公去世了
and left us his antique gnome collection.
留下了一套古董地精公仔收藏
Marty wanted to keep them in the house.
马蒂想把地精放在屋子里
They soothed him, he said.
他说它们能让他平静下来
'Cause the constant fireworks
因为外面响个不停的烟花
were always triggering his PTSD.
总是引发他的创伤后遗症
So, I insisted he put his sole inheritance outside,
所以我坚持叫他把他唯一的遗产放在屋外
where you blew them up.
结果就被你炸飞了
Life's funny.
生活有它独特的幽默感
Yeah.
是啊
Yeah, the next day,
第二天
I was supposed to meet him at couples therapy.
我本来要去婚姻咨询处和他会合
But I didn't make it 'cause my car died.
但我没赶上 因为我的车坏了
Sugar in the tank.
油箱里有糖
So I missed the appointment.
所以我错过了那次咨询
He went for a coffee,
他去买咖啡
fell in love with the barista,
爱上了咖啡师
and now I am living in a condo,
现在我住在公寓楼
dating a friggin' child!
和小屁孩约会
Janice.
珍妮丝
This may be a bad time to mention it, but...
现在提这个或许不是时候 不过
I don't have enough money for the valet.
我的钱不够付泊车费
Lily is still not answering. Did you track her location?
莉莉还是不接电话 你追踪她的定位了吗
Uh, yeah. It says that she's at our house?
是的 上面说她回家了
Do you think she took that boy home?
你觉得她把那男孩带回家了吗
Of course she did!
当然带回家了
An empty house, all those Anita Baker records.
家里没人 那么多安妮塔·贝克的唱片
美国知名节奏蓝调/灵魂乐女歌手
It's the sexiest place in town.
那是镇上最性感的地方
We have to get home!
我们必须回家
Okay, it's gonna take us an hour just to get out of here.
想从这人潮中挤出去得花上一小时
No, no, we can save ourselves 20 minutes
不 我们只要从这个迷宫走
just by cutting through this maze.
就能省二十分钟
No! No. I-I hate those things.
不 我讨厌这些玩意
Mitchell, we basically forced our daughter
米奇尔 我们基本算是逼自己女儿
into the arms of a hormonal teen.
对发情的青少年投怀送抱
And let's be honest,
说实话
was it because we wanted more independence for her
我们到底是想让她更独立一些
or for us?
还是自己
All right.
那好
Now, try to have some backbone.
拿出点气魄来
I'm-I'm-I'm right here. Okay?
我就在这 知道吗
And just remember, this is for our daughter.
记住 这都是为了我们女儿
Ohh, Cam...
小卡
I know it makes me seem shallow,
我知道这让我听起来很肤浅
but he had such a crazy body!
但他的身材赞爆了
How am I supposed to go back to nerd butts?
我怎么再去面对那些宅男的身材
No matter what I'd need, it'd be right there in her purse --
无论我需要什么 她包里都有
Band-Aids, wet wipes, raisins.
创可贴 湿巾 葡萄干
Because sometimes I'm not angry.
因为有时我不是真的生气
I'm just hungry.
只是饿了
You know what she's not gonna find in that purse?
你知道她包里没有什么吗
Someone better than you.
比你更好的人
- Really? - ‭Yeah.
-真的吗 -真的
You can do better than --
你能找到比她更好的
I'm forgetting her name right now, so Molly's mom.
我一时想不起她名字 反正是茉莉的老妈
You know, I'm not just saying it because you said it,
要知道 我不是因为你安慰我才安慰你
but I never thought Bill was good enough for you.
但我一直都觉得比尔配不上你
Seriously?
真的吗
You deserve someone smart and curious.
你值得拥有聪明又有求知欲的人
Be honest, didn't you get sick of him saying
说实话 他每次出门时都说
"I bet I can jump over that" every time he walked outside?
"我赌我能从那上面跳过去" 你没听够吗
Thanks, Luke.
谢了 卢克
We don't need them, right?
我们不需要他们 对吗
In a couple weeks,
再过几周
we won't remember either one of them.
我们会把他俩都忘干净
A fireman?
消防员
A nun?
修女
Janice was into some really weird stuff.
珍妮丝的口味特别重
What about her? Is that a Martha Stewart?
是她吗 那是玛莎·斯图尔特吗
I-I think that's Princess Di.
我觉得那是戴妃
Jay, you have to prepare yourself.
杰 你得做好心理准备
We may not find your candy bar.
我们的糖果棒可能找不回来了
We've stopped four Martha Stewarts,
我们已经问过四个玛莎·斯图尔特
two Dog the Bounty Hunters, and the real Judith Light.
两个赏金猎人老狗和朱迪斯·赖特本人
How nice was she, by the way?
顺带一提 她人真好
Yeah, class act. Keep looking.
是啊 落落大方 接着找
Hey, that's Mom!
是老妈
- Mom! - ‭Manny!
-妈 -曼尼
How many times have I told you not to shout "Mom"
我跟你说过多少次 扮成老头的时候
when you're dressed like an old man?
不要大声叫我"妈"
Including now? Once.
算上这次 就这一次
I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you.
对不起 我不是生你的气
I'm mad at Mitch and Cam for leaving me here
我是气米奇和小卡把我丢在这
and the mean Boy Scout that made me feel so old.
那个刻薄的童子军又让我觉得自己好老
Old?!
Sweetie, you look delicious!
亲爱的 你看起来娇艳极了
- I do? - ‭Yes.
-真的吗 -真的
You're dancing with us right now.
你现在就过来跟我们跳舞
Okay.
Look what I found on the ground.
看我在地上发现了什么
We're too late. ‭
已经太迟了
Sorry, Jay.
抱歉 杰
Do you want to talk about it?
你想谈谈此刻的感受吗
No! I don't want to seem like a sad sack.
不 我不想看起来像可怜虫一样
Excuse me.
不好意思
What is it about this candy?
这个糖有什么特别的
It just tasted like summer or something,
有夏天的味道 我说不好
I don't know.
我不知道
But out with the old, in with the new.
但一代新糖换旧糖
Candy bars come and go.
糖果棒停产
No more record stores.
唱片店都不见了
6-year-old sons too grown up
六岁的儿子长大了
to go trick-or-treating with their dads.
万圣节不愿意跟老爸去要糖果
No more beepers.
没人再用传呼机
Are you that bummed that
乔不想跟你过万圣节
Joe didn't want to spend Halloween with you?
让你这么低落吗
No! It's just the beginning of the whole thing, ya know?
不 那只是一个阶段的开始 你懂吗
When you-when you break that seal...
一旦撕开那个封条
Look, I know Joe wanted to be with his friends tonight,
我知道乔今晚想和朋友们一起玩
but he'll definitely want to spend another Halloween with his dad.
但他肯定还会想跟老爸过万圣节的
How do you know that?
你怎么知道
Kids have a way of coming back.
孩子们总会回头的
Even if they have to... make up a dumb reason to do it.
哪怕不得不为此编个可笑的借口
Happy Halloween, kid.
万圣节快乐 孩子
Wait, this is a delicate moment.
等等 这件事要谨慎处理
We could scar her if we don't handle it right.
我们要是没处理好 会造成心理阴影的
God, I know that's true.
老天 我知道你这话没错
My first kiss was terrible.
我的初吻特别可怕
My mom walked in on me with this girl.
我妈撞见我吻一个女孩
I can still hear my mom scream to my dad,
我至今仍能听到我妈对我爸大喊
"I told you he wasn't!"
"我就说他不是同性恋"
Well, mine was worse.
我的更糟
It's not a competition.
我没跟你比惨
My dad found me in a barn
我爸发现我在谷仓里
open-mouth kissing a tackling dummy.
跟橄榄球训练假人舌吻
And you win.
你赢了
Okay, so, gentle, but firm.
好 我们要温柔但坚定
- Okay? - Yeah.
-知道吗 -知道
Sweetie, is-is everything okay?
亲爱的 你还好吗
It's nothing. Go away.
我没事 走开
Honey, did-did a boy pressure you
宝贝 是不是有男生
to do something you didn't want to do?
逼你做你不想做的事了
Ew! Gross! No.
恶心 才不是呢
D-Did a girl pressure you into doing something --
那是不是有女生逼你做你不想做....
Oh, my God! Can you adopt a second child
天啊 你能不能去领养另外一个孩子
to take some of this off of me?!
然后别这么目光都聚焦在我身上啊
Honey -- Honey, we -- we just want to help, okay?
亲爱 亲爱的 我们只是想帮帮你
We're -- We're afraid that maybe we pushed you
我们只是担心或许我们强迫了你
into going to that party before you were ready.
去参加你还没准备好参加的派对
Look, I thought this boy really liked me,
是这样的 我以为有个男生很喜欢我
but he was just using me to get to my friend Kelly.
结果他只是利用我来接近我朋友凯利
- Kelly? Ew, she's gross! - ‭Yeah.
-凯利吗 她很辣鸡啊 -对啊
No, she isn't. She's my friend.
她才没有呢 她是我的朋友
She's not you. And anyone who would pick her over --
但她比不上你啊 任何选她而不选你的人...
Of course you'd say that. You're my dad.
你当然会这么说啦 你是我的爸爸
I'm sorry, there's nothing that you could say that would help.
抱歉 你们说什么都安慰不到我的啦
Okay?
懂了吗
You're not a girl, you're not 12.
你们不是女生 你们也不是十二岁
What would you know about liking a boy
你们怎么可能会懂那种
who doesn't like you back?
喜欢一个男生而人家不喜欢你的感觉
Oh, honey --
亲爱的...
I'm gonna get us some ice cream.
我去给大家拿点冰激凌
Okay, come here, come here.
好啦 你过来 你过来
Okay.
好啦
Honey, you can't be mad
老公 你不能因为
that I wasn't scared by that movie.
我看那个电影不被吓到而生气啊
It was a baby.
它就是个婴儿啊
It had three rows of teeth!
它有三排牙齿呢
Baby teeth!
婴儿乳齿啊
Look, it's not your fault.
这的确不是你的错啦
It's just that, next to you, I feel like such a wuss.
只是在你旁边这么比较起来 我就像个孬种
Just because you get a little
只是因为你会因为一部电影
bit squirrelly in a movie doesn't make you --
而有点发神经不代表你就是...
Wait, hang on. Why are we crossing the street?
等等 我们为什么要过马路
Our house is right down --
我们家就在这条街底...
Wait a minute, you're not
等等 你不会是
afraid of the little old lady's house, are you?
害怕经过那个小老妇人的家吧
You don't know she's little!
你怎么知道人家小不小
All we know is she sits up there
我们对她唯一的了解就是她坐在那里
plotting evil from her window.
在窗前谋划着什么邪恶的计划
She's not there.
她不在那里了
She's always there!
她不是总是在那里吗
This stops now.
这一切在今天为止
We're gonna go knock on that door,
我们现在就去敲人家门
introduce ourselves,
自我介绍一下
and put an end to this nuttiness.
然后让这件神经事就此了结
Well, that's weird timing.
开门时机有些诡异啊
The, um...
那个...
The envelope Alex dropped off.
艾丽克斯来递送的东西
The -- The old lady never picked it up.
老太太都没有来收耶
What was that?
什么声音啊
Oh, God. Phil, what if she fell?
天啊 菲尔 她摔倒了可怎么办
We should go check on her.
我们进去看看她
Yeah, I guess so.
大概吧
I am, uh, right behind you.
我... 你先走我马上来
I'm just gonna go find a flashlight.
我去找一把手电筒
Phil --
菲尔
Hello?
您好
Ms. Mann?
曼恩太太
Hello?
您好
Ida Mae?
艾达·梅
Ida Mae?
艾达·梅
Ms. Mann?
曼恩太太
It was simplicity itself.
简单扼要 一刀毙命
A year ago, Claire accused me for the millionth time
一年前 克莱尔第无数次说我
that I couldn't scare her, so I came up with a plan.
这辈子都吓不到她 所以我想出了一个计划
I'd just sold a house to a European couple
我刚把房子买给一对欧洲人夫妇
that weren't gonna take possession for a while,
他们短期内都不会住到这房子里来
so, uh, last fall, "Ida Mae" moved in.
然后呢 去年秋天"艾达·梅"就搬来了
I told you!
我就跟你说吧
She's always up there!
她整天都坐在那楼上
Fortunately, the house was right on Claire's jogging route,
幸好这房子就在克莱尔的慢跑路线中
so it was easy to introduce Claire to Ida Mae,
所以很轻易就能介绍艾达·梅给克莱尔认识
and when I wanted to amp it up,
而当我想加大剂量时
I had Ida Mae make contact.
我让艾达·梅跟她打交道了
Then, this morning...
时间到了今早
I knew that ax wouldn't scare Claire.
我知道斧子的把戏吓不到克莱尔
I just did that so she'd accuse me
所以我故意用这招来引诱她
of not being able to scare her.
再次说我这辈子都吓不到她
It's all about plausibility.
关键在于"可信度"
Damn right, it is.
太他妈对了
Over the past year,
在过去这一年
Ida Mae joined the neighborhood association,
艾达·梅加入了邻里协会
hung up a poster for her lost dog,
为她跑掉的狗贴过海报
signed up for Meals on Wheels.
签名申请过慈善送餐活动
They're not bad, by the way.
其实还蛮好吃的呢
Also, she got a lot of knitting done.
她还打了很多毛线呢
Oh, I'm sorry, Claire.
抱歉啊 克莱尔
Did I scare you?
我吓着你了吗
- You did this? - ‭Yep.
-这是你干的好事吗 -是啊
How long have you planned this --
你计划这件事多久了
11 months, two weeks, and three days ago,
11个月2周又3天之前
I gave birth to Ida Mae Mann.
我让艾达·梅·曼恩降临到这世界上
Because I da main man.
因为我就是最强的人[与名字音似]
Oh, don't you dare do word play, Phil.
菲尔 不许现在玩谐音梗
Sorry.
抱歉
I was having so much fun!
因为我真是开心死啦
- What? - ‭I was wondering what we were gonna do
-什么 -我之前总是在想
for the next 30 years of our lives
未来这30年 当我们的孩子们
without the kids in the house.
都离我们而去时 我们人生有何盼头
And now I know --
但现在我知道了
you're getting twisted, and I like it.
你也开始扭曲了 我喜欢死了
Game on.
游戏开始
"Game on"? What do you mean "Game on"?
"游戏开始" 你这"游戏开始"是什么意思
It's -- It's game over.
游戏 游戏已经结束了啊
Nope.
没这回事
Watch your back, buddy.
万事小心啊 兄弟
This is gonna be so much fun.
这游戏一定会非常非常有趣
Can't we just travel?
我们不能就去旅行吗
Where'd your mom go?
你妈去哪了
We have a winner!
优胜者诞生啦
伪娘皇后大赛
I really needed this today.
我今天真的很需要这份鼓励
Excuse me.
抱歉借过
Hey, that's my wife!
那是我老婆
Sure! Sweet heart. Like you could get that.
想得美啊 宝贝儿 癞蛤蟆也想吃天鹅肉
No, no, no. That is my husband.
不 不是的 他真是我老公
Does she know that...
她知道这是...
No, and we are never gonna tell her.
不知道 我们也得一直守住这秘密