摩登家庭 第十一季 Modern Family Season 11 第6集: A Game of Chicken

上映日期: 2,019

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 爱情

导演: 盖尔·曼库索 / 斯蒂文·莱维坦

演员: 艾德·奥尼尔 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 泰·布利尔 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 诺兰·古德 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 阿芮尔·温特 / 奥布里·


台词
No, Margaret, I want you to triple check
不 玛格丽特 我希望你
with the compliance officer about that.
跟合规官再三确认这事
What are you doing?
你在做什么
I'm working on a little something.
我在搞个小发明
You know how when you're making pancakes,
你知道你在做煎饼时
- your hands are always full? ‭- No.
-手上总是沾满了面糊吗 -不知道
m 211 -8 b b b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
m 211 -8 b b b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
m 0 0 b 1 -1 2 -2 4 -1 b 7 1 3 2 5 5 b 6 7 8 7 9 5 l 15 -6 b 18 -7 20 -6 20 -3 b 19 -1 17 2 17 4 b 16 7 20 7 21 6 b 22 4 23 2 25 -1 b 27 -2 29 -1 29 1 b 29 2 28 3 29 5 b 30 7 32 7 33 6 b 34 5 34 4 35 3 b 37 2 39 3 39 5 b 39 6 38 8 37 9 b 34 13 29 13 25 9 b 22 13 17 13 13 9 b 10 13 3 13 0 8
m 50 0 l 179 0 b b b 21 228 0 208 0 179 l 0 50 b 0 21 21 0 50 0
b
原创翻译 双语字幕
Well, this'll solve that.
这可以解决那个问题
最新连载海外影视剧下载仅供交流学习 禁止商用盈利请登陆 www.YYeTs.com
Did you take the batteries out of the smoke detector for this?
你是把烟雾报警器里的电池取下来做这个了吗
b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
m 200 -1 l 200 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
翻译 @少年影视派 亲爱的小贩 油腻希
No, no, still here. Still here.
不 我还在 还在呢
Yeah, no, I want to read the investor statement this afternoon,
不 我希望今天下午就看到投资者声明
but, Dom, you're gonna have to resend it.
但是多姆 你得重新发一遍
翻译 洗七里 卷福就爱吃卷饼
You accidentally e-mailed me the first chapter of your novel,
你不小心把你写的小说的第一章发我了
and just a tiny little note,
给你点小意见
校对 疯狂世界赛太公
maybe not all bosoms are heaving.
并非所有的胸都是丰满的
Thanks, guys.
谢了 各位
时间轴 三水
Work call on a Saturday morning?
周六早上也要打工作电话
What's going on?
怎么回事
Honey.
亲爱的
后期 想休长假的瓜瓜
You probably don't want to get into this right now,
你可能现在不想谈这个
but is this a bald spot or the center of your swirl?
但这到底是秃了一块还是发旋
总监 生无可恋瓜
My job has been miserable.
我的工作简直太惨了
I'm always working, I never sleep,
我总在工作 连睡觉的时间都没有
and all I do is clean up other people's messes
我整天做的就是给别人擦屁股
because I'm the only adult in the room.
因为我是所有人中唯一的成年人
Oh, my God.
天啊
I'm a mom again,
我这是又当妈了
but to people I don't love.
但我的孩子却是一帮我不爱的人
Sweetheart, listen.
亲爱的 听我说
For years, you supported me
多年来 你一直支持着我
while I juggled realtoring and -- and juggling.
任我在房地产行业耍 以及玩杂耍
And now it's my turn to support you.
现在轮到我来支持你了
Anything that's not work, I'm your guy.
任何工作以外的困难 直接找我
Oh, God!
天啊
家 庭
摩 登
第十一季 第六集
Hey, look at you guys. So playful.
瞧瞧你们啊 玩得很开心嘛
When I get married,
等我结婚了
I hope my wife and I never lose that sense of whimsy.
我希望我和我老婆永远不要失去这种怪念头
- Thank you, Luke. - What do you want?
-谢谢你 卢克 -你有什么事
Okay, here's the deal.
好吧 我就老实交代吧
My buddy Scooter and I
我兄弟斯库特和我
came up with this really cool business idea.
想出了一个超赞的商业点子
We think it's gonna be huge.
我们觉得一定会大获成功的
That's great, pal!
那真是太好了 小老弟
We are so proud of you.
我们太为你骄傲了啊
Get to the bad part.
直接说弊端吧
There is no bad part.
没有弊端
Actually, you guys are gonna make money.
实际上 你们还能多赚点钱
Because I have to drop out of school to do it.
因为我打算退学创业 这样就省下学费了
You're not dropping out of school.
你绝对不能退学
- Honey... - ‭No.
-亲爱的 -别
I -- I got this.
我来处理
But we should've seen it coming.
不过我们应该能预料到会有这么一天
After all, his dad is the creator of the Hey Batter, Batter.
毕竟他老爹是"嘿 面糊"牌面糊挤压器的发明者
在打棒球时常有人喊"嘿 击球手[Batter]"以分散其注意力
The name's a placeholder.
名字只是暂用 很可能已经被人注册了
But probably still available.
但非常可能还没人用
Dad, I want you to know I love your pancake shooter.
爸 我希望你知道我超爱你的面糊发射器
Have you seen the updates...to...
那你看到这个改进版的...
the Insta-Cold straw?
即冷型吸管了吗
You should be on a stamp.
你应该作为名人被印在邮票上
Has that ever not electrocuted someone?
那东西有不电到人的时候吗
Sometimes you have to shock a few people
有时候你必须先电击一些人
before you shock the world.
才能让世界有触电般的震撼
‭That should go on your stamp.
这句话该附在你的邮票上
Okay, stop flattering your dad.
够了 别再恭维你爸了
You're not dropping out of school.
你绝不能退学
You're almost done!
你就快毕业了啊
And more importantly,
更重要的是
we don't quit things in this family.
我们这个家绝不允许半途而废
Haley quit college.
海莉就从大学退学了
And Alex quit her job in Antarctica.
艾丽克斯中止了她在南极的工作
And Dad has never finished a Sudoku.
爸爸也从没完成过一个数独
They are hard.
那太难了
Mom, this isn't some goof.
妈 这不是在瞎闹
Scooter and I really believe in this idea.
斯库特和我真的很看好这个点子能成功
Can we at least show you
至少能让我们向你们展示下
in the investor presentation this afternoon?
今天下午的投资人介绍会吗
We'd love to hear it, wouldn't we?
我们很乐意去听听 对吧
Of course.
当然了
Yes! You guys aren't gonna be disappointed.
太好了 你们一定不会失望的
I'm gonna call Scooter now.
我这就去打给斯库特
He's not dropping out of school.
他绝对不能退学
You have got to listen with an open mind.
你必须用开放的思想去听
After all,
毕竟
what kind of world would we live in if all parents forced their kids
如果所有父母都强迫自己的孩子待在学校
to stay in school and not pursue their dreams?
不去追求梦想 那我们会生活在什么样的世界
No Steve Jobs, no Mark Zuckerberg,
没有史蒂夫·乔布斯 没有马克·扎克伯格
no Cindy Crawford.
没有超模辛迪·克劳馥
Steve Jobs put a computer in everyone's pocket.
史蒂夫·乔布斯将电脑装进了大家的口袋里
Luke almost died taking off a hoodie on an escalator.
卢克差点死于在电动扶梯上脱帽衫
My point is, dreams need to be fostered.
我要表达的重点是 梦想是需要培育的
And if I'm being honest,
说老实话
I kind of love the idea of being a mentor to these two young minds.
我还挺乐意担任那两个年轻人的导师的
Wooden spoon!
木勺子
Knock it away with a wooden spoon!
快用木勺子隔断连接
Thank you.
谢谢救命之恩
Oh, this is amazing!
这简直太棒了
Oh, my God. ‭
天啊
Daddy so walks like that!
大爸的走路姿势就是那样的
Why are you guys laughing?
你们为什么笑成这样
We -- We were happy?
因为 因为我们开心
Since when?
从什么时候开始的
Were you watching that video again?
你们又在看那个视频吗
Recently, the high school dolphin mascot
最近 高中学校的海豚吉祥物
has been, uh, mocking Cam during football games.
在橄榄球比赛期间 一直在模仿小卡的动作
He's -- and I don't use this word lightly --
他简直是个... 我一般很少用这个词夸人
a genius.
天才
How about we get our heads in the game?!
你们能不能开始用心打球啊
Rick, you're gonna be streaking through.
瑞克 你要从中间飞奔过去
So it's gonna be boom, boom. You got it?
所以要撞开别人飞快地穿过去 明白吗
I'm surprised you can't see the humor
我很惊讶你竟然无法
in what the mascot is doing.
从那个吉祥物的行为中感受到幽默
Isn't it a lot like clowning?
这跟扮小丑很像不是吗
- What did you just say? - Are you insane?
-你刚说什么 -你是疯了吗
Mascot-ing is nothing like clowning!
扮吉祥物跟小丑表演完全不一样
Clowns are descendants of the court jester,
小丑是宫廷小丑的后代
truth-teller to the king.
是国王的忠实谏臣
Mascots know nothing of veritas and beauty.
吉祥物根本不懂什么真善美
Don't you just make wiener dogs out of balloons?
你们不就是折气球做小狗吗
You are just jealous because no kid ever said,
你这是嫉妒 因为没有小孩子会说
"Hey, Mom, this year for my birthday,
"妈妈 今年我的生日能请一位
can we get a narc?"
缉毒警察来吗"
Okay, look, I'm -- I'm sorry.
好吧 我很抱歉
I'm just stressed out. This mascot is under my skin!
我压力山大 这个吉祥物让我很不爽
I can't have him making me look like a fool today.
今天我不能让他害我出丑
I just found out a recruiter
我刚得知一位
from the University of North Central Missouri
北中央密苏里大学的猎头
is coming to watch me coach.
要来看我执教
A recruiter?
猎头
Did you apply for a job in Missouri?
你申请了密苏里州的工作吗
I just said I was available.
我只说了我有空
W-Without consulting me?
都没跟我商量商量
‭Well, you always said you were okay
你不是一直说可以接受
with moving back to Missouri at some point,
全家搬回密苏里吗
turning our little family into a "farmily."
把我们的小家乐变成农家乐
You know I hate that word.
你知道我很讨厌那个词
Why? It's descriptive and fun.
为什么 意思清楚还很有趣啊
And you know what? Look, if I got this job,
而且你知道吗 如果我得到这份工作
I would be the first openly gay college football coach
我就会是历史上第一个公开出柜的
in history,
大学橄榄球教练
and I would think you'd support that.
我以为你会支持的
And I would think that you would ask me
我也以为你会先问过我之后
before uprooting our whole farmily --
才举家搬迁搞农家乐
Damn it, it's in there now!
该死 我被洗脑了
Hello, mis ninos.
你们好呀 小可爱们
Thank you so much for watching the babies for a few hours.
谢谢你帮我们照看几小时宝宝
If you have trouble telling them apart,
如果你分不清谁是谁
just take off their diapers.
就脱掉他们的纸尿裤
I wrote George's name inside his.
我在乔治的纸尿裤里面写了他的名字
There's my great-grandchildren.
我的曾孙们来了
Do they recognize faces?
他们能认人了吗
Do I need to start slipping them cash
我需要给他们塞点钱
to let them know who's in charge? ‭
好让他们知道谁才是老大吗
Grandpa, you don't need to buy their love.
外公 你不用花钱贿赂他们
Buy mine, and I'll talk you up.
给我吧 我会把你夸上天
Are we babysitting? Should I cancel golf?
我们要照顾宝宝吗 我要不要取消高尔夫球
No, no, no, no, I know how important it is
不不不 我知道让你跟你的朋友
for you and your friends to complain about
一起抱怨现在的年轻人
how young people today
跟你们那一代人
are slightly different than your generation.
不太一样是多么重要
Vin Diesel is just Telly Savalas
范·迪塞尔就是嘴里不含棒棒糖
without the lollipop and a great catchphrase.
没什么名言的泰利·萨拉瓦斯而已
Okay, and you two, I know how precious alone time is
好了 你俩 我知道新手爸妈的二人时光
for new parents,
有多宝贵
- so everybody go. - Bye-bye!
-所以你们都走吧 -拜拜
Have a great afternoon!
下午玩得开心哦
Okay, mis niños, Gloria has planned
好了 小可爱们 歌洛莉亚为你们
a very exciting afternoon for you.
安排好了一个刺激的下午
Let's see.
你们看
Who is ready to reject Satan
准备好拒绝撒旦
and all his empty promises?
和他的空头支票了吗
Today, I'm having the babies secretly baptized,
今天 我要偷偷地给宝宝们施洗礼
both into Catholicism and into the crazy things
让他们成为天主教徒 和加入我们这个成员间
we do to each other in this family.
会做各种神经病事的家庭
- Absolutely not! - Okay, be reasonable, Tashi.
-绝对不行 -讲点道理 扎西
I -- Tonight's a big game for me.
今晚对我来说是个很重要的比赛
I -- I need to project authority,
我必须表现出我的权威
and your antics undermine me.
可你这样捣乱破坏了我的权威
Well, buckle up, Coach,
那就做好准备吧 教练
'cause I'm taking it up a giant notch
因为我要继续搞大事情
and taping today's game for my college apps.
把今天的比赛录下来放到我的大学申请里
Okay, you're gonna get into college.
你肯定能进大学的啊
You have fantastic grades.
你成绩很亮眼
Oh, you're right -- an Asian kid with great grades.
你说得可对了呢 成绩很好的亚洲小孩
That's fresh.
真新鲜
I need to guarantee a spot.
我必须确保能被录取
Mascot-ing sets me apart.
扮吉祥物就让我很有特点
Listen, you little punk.
听好了 臭小鬼
I could suspend you.
我可以禁你的赛
How would your fancy colleges
你的梦想大学看到
like to see that on your record, huh?
这个记录会怎么想呢
‭Nice try,
想得美
but, uh, my free expression
但是根据最高法院
is protected by the Supreme Court ruling
在北达科达州诉班迪托案中的裁决
in North Dakota vs. Bandito.
我的自由表达权是受到保护的
Oh, you -- you halftime hacks.
你 你这个窃取中场光芒的小偷
No scruples, no honor.
毫无良知 毫无荣誉
Is this a clown thing again?
这又是在为小丑的事不爽吗
We clowns have more humanity
我们小丑一根
in one of our whimsically oversized pinkies,
精灵古怪的超大号小指头
more than you do in your entire stinky costume.
也比穿着臭烘烘连身公仔服的你要有人性
You powder-faced elitists,
你个油头粉面的精英主义者
looking down your red noses at everybody!
戴着你的红鼻子瞧不起所有人
Wipe the pie out of your eyes.
你清醒一点吧
The revolution is coming!
革命就要开始了
- Do we really need to do this on a Saturday? - I'm sorry.
-我们非得在周六做吗 -抱歉
Nick was supposed to sign these
尼克本来应该在
before he left for Fiji...
他去斐济之前签好的
...and people need to get paid.
而且大家都得领工资了
We don't all live in mansions.
我们可不都住这种豪宅
This is hardly a mansion, Margaret.
这算什么豪宅 玛格丽特
Whoa, why are we writing a huge check to a shaman?
我们为什么要给个萨满法师开这么大的支票
Oh, Nick took the interns on a vision quest.
尼克根据萨满预言招实习生
Well, the female ones.
至少女实习生是这样
Gross.
真恶心
Hey, guys. Scooter's here.
大家好 斯库特[小摩托]到了
Great.
太好了
Can't wait to hear this amazing idea.
等不及要听听这个绝佳的点子了
Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
等等 等等
Can we just remember we're on the same team
还记得我们说要立场一致
and Luke can't drop out of school?
绝不能让卢克退学吗
So please don't make me the bad guy.
所以别让我当坏人啊
Honey, they're kids.
亲爱的 他们都还是孩子
I don't want to crush their spirit.
我不想打击他们的志气
They're just --
他们只是
They're just looking for a little guidance.
他们只是想寻求一点指引
Oh, we're gonna guide them right back into college.
那我们就指引他们回到大学里
Margaret, this is gonna take a few minutes.
玛格丽特 稍等我几分钟
Do you mind hanging here while we're in the living room?
我们去客厅 你可以在这等会儿吗
I'll just wait here in this other living room.
我就在这副客厅等着好了
My God, the waste.
老天 暴殄空间啊
Mom, Dad, this is Scooter Rivael.
爸妈 这位是斯库特·李维尔
- Phil, Claire, nice to meet you. ‭- Hi.
-菲尔 克莱尔 幸会 -你好
Luke said such wonderful things.
卢克对你们二位赞誉有加
Wait. Um, you're -- you're Scooter?
等等 你就是斯库特吗
I-I was expecting someone younger,
我本以为会是更年轻一点的人
maybe wearing Heelys and a backpack.
穿滚轮鞋 背双肩书包之类的
Uh, well, my real name's Scott,
我真名叫斯考特
but Luke and I met at the club
不过在我和卢克相遇的俱乐部里
where everyone calls me Scooter.
大家都叫我斯库特
Or worse.
或更难听的名字
So, let's hear this big idea, huh?
我们来听听你们的发财大计吧
Okay. Well, just like we rehearsed it.
好 像我们排练的那样说
You got this, buddy.
你可以的 兄弟
Remember when I took nighttime medicine in the daytime
还记得之前我白天吃夜间服用的药
and fell down the stairs?
结果摔下楼梯了吗
Yeah. Remember?
还用问吗
I bent all your fingers back into their sockets.
是我把你脱臼的十根手指一根根扳回去
Well, I had to go to three different doctors,
之后我不得不去看了三种科目的医生
and every one of them made me fill out the same forms.
每个医生都叫我填写同样的表格
Introducing FormFiller Med,
隆重介绍 医疗填表器
a secure encrypted mobile app
这是个安全加密的手机应用
that transfers your medical and insurance info
只需用手机轻碰一下 你的医疗和保险信息
to your doctor's office with a tap of your phone.
就能转发到你医生的办公室
No more filling out the same boring forms over and over again.
不用再反复填写同样的无聊表格
I ran the idea by a couple old guys at the club,
我给俱乐部几个老家伙说了这个点子
- and they loved it. - Yeah, and we weren't even drunk yet.
-他们都很喜欢 -对 而且我们当时还没醉
Alcoholism kills millions of people a day.
酗酒每天导致数百万人丧命 并不好笑
I know what you're thinking --
我知道你们在想什么
Will doctors go for this?
医生会支持吗
We polled over 200 doctors and medical personnel,
我们调查了两百多位医生和医务人员
and 93% said that they would happily pay our monthly fee
93%的人说很乐意付我们月费
to reduce their administrative load.
来减轻他们的管理负担
But don't, uh, doctor's offices
但医生办公室
all use, like, different systems?
不都用各自的系统吗
Great question, Claire.
问得好 克莱尔
The top two medical software systems
最大的两个医疗软件系统
have 90% market share,
市场占有率为90%
and we're compatible with both.
我们与这两个都兼容
Wow. And, uh, what do you do, Scooter?
厉害 那你负责做什么 斯库特
Other than befriend children, I mean.
我指除了跟小孩交朋友之外
I'm a venture capitalist.
我是风险投资人
I've invested in 22 companies over the last 30 years
我在过去30几年里 投资了22家公司
and personally led three of them
并亲自带领其中三家
from initial concept through IPO.
从初始概念发展到首次公开募股
Fascinating.
了不起
You ever thought about starting a business
你有没有考虑过跟你自己儿子
with, um, I don't know, your -- your own son?
一起创业呢
Okay.
Let me show you the device itself.
让我为你们展示设备本身
All a doctor's office has to do
医生办公室只需
is plug this into the USB slot of their reception room computer.
把它插入接待处电脑的USB接口
A patient opens the app on their phone
病人打开手机上的应用
and taps it against the device.
接着用手机碰触设备
And just like that,
然后你们看
all of your encrypted and pertinent
所有你们加密和相关的
medical and insurance information
医疗及保险信息
is instantly in your doctor's database.
便即刻出现在医生的数据库里
Well, I am so sorry, guys,
真抱歉 二位
but I like filling out medical forms,
但我就喜欢填医疗表格
and I think there are millions of
我想还有数百万
hardworking Americans just like me,
辛勤工作的美国人跟我一样
so this Shark is out.
所以我这个投资大鲨[投资真人秀]退出
Uh, Mom?
老妈
Oh, good luck with that one.
祝你好运攻下她
She's a lot tougher than me.
她可比我难对付多了
Well, it brings me absolutely no joy to say this.
我接下来要说的话不会为我带来一丝快乐
Luke, I'm impressed.
卢克 你太牛掰了
- But...? - ‭But nothing.
-可是呢 -没有可是
Do you have any idea
你知道
how much I hate filling out those medical forms?
我有多讨厌填那些破医疗表格吗
It seems like you have really done your homework,
看起来你真的做了很多功课
and most importantly, you got a great partner here.
而且最重要的是 你有个很棒的搭档
I say go for it.
大胆去做吧
Seriously?
你认真的吗
Psst, Claire?
克莱尔
Um, I have Nick on the phone from Fiji.
尼克从斐济打来找你
We're in the middle of something, Margaret.
我们在忙没空接 玛格丽特
He says it's an emergency.
他说有急事
He's on my phone.
他打的是我的手机
It's in the solarium.
在日光浴室里
It's a bay window, Margaret.
那是飘窗而已 玛格丽特
We did it, buddy!
我们做到了 兄弟
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on.
等一下 先别急着抱
It's not settled yet.
这事还没定下来呢
Well, I thought we heard a yes.
刚才不是听到有人首肯了吗
No, I'm -- I'm still having a conversation with my wife.
不 我还要跟我太太商量一下
Please, make yourself comfortable.
你先放轻松坐好
Maybe kick off those rubber-soled shoes
要不把你那双胶底鞋脱了
while I grab you an instantly cold beverage.
我去给你拿杯即时速冻冷饮[让他触电]
"I'm just your husband." "Oh, your husband?"
"我是你老公啊" "你老公啊"
"You're gossiping. That's what I do."
"你在八卦 我最喜欢八卦了"
Looks like someone had a fight.
某人似乎刚吵完架哦
Hey, um, Mrs. Pasternack.
你好 帕斯特纳克太太
Um, was it that obvious?
有这么明显吗
Eh. I say that to everyone.
我见到谁都这么说
More often than not, I'm right.
多半时候都说对了
Martini?
喝马天尼吗
No thanks, I'm -- I'm good.
不用了谢谢 我很好
No, you're not.
不 你才不好
Marriage is hard. ‭
婚姻好难
I know!
我知道啊
Everyone's always trying to change each other.
每个人都总想要改变对方
It's like, I'm an adult film director
就好像 我是成人电影导演
who collects Precious Moments Dolls.
喜欢收集宝贝时光牌的可爱娃娃
Let me be me!
让我随心做自己吧
So, what's up with you two?
你们俩闹什么矛盾了
Uh, Cam started looking for a job out of state
小卡开始找其他州的工作
with-- without consulting me.
却没有事先跟我商量
Don't worry. You'll meet someone else.
别担心 你会遇见其他良人的
No, he wants me to go with him.
不 他希望我跟他一起去
Ah, that's the Cam I know.
这才是我认识的小卡
He's always going on about you.
他天天念叨的都是你
He is?
是吗
Haven't you ever seen his Facebook page?
你从没看过他的脸书主页吗
He's obsessed with you.
他迷死你了
"How gorgeous does Mitchell look in this picture?"
"这张照片里的米奇尔多好看"
"Proud to be married to a man who fights for justice."
"能和一个为正义而战的人结婚真骄傲"
"Mitchell over his cold.
"米奇尔的感冒好了
Hope my hubby brings the love tonight."
希望我老公今晚能跟我好好腻乎一下"
Ew, my dad liked that. Euch.
我爸给这条点赞了 恶心
All right, Lily, I'm on my way to the game.
好吧 莉莉 我要去看比赛了
How bad is it?
情况很糟吗
The dolphin is eviscerating Dad.
大爸快被海豚虐死了
Oh, if it was me, he would totally do something.
如果是我被虐 他肯定会想办法
But what?! Ah, just give me a sign!
可我该怎么做 给我个提示[标牌]
Is there any way I could just throw money at it?
老天爷 有没有花点钱就能解决的办法
欢迎 神父 快请进 我等你几个小时了
我尽快赶来了
Except for Father Ramirez,
除了拉米雷斯神父
all the priests I asked
我问的每位牧师
were "Uncomfortable" with my secret baptism.
都觉得秘密受洗"不太妥当"
They said it was "borderline kidnapping,"
说这事"基本和绑架一样"
that they found my trickery "devilish."
还说我的小诡计"像魔鬼一样"
It's like, when did Catholics become so judgmental?
天主教什么时候这么爱评判人了
你的双胞胎好漂亮
是的 神父 这是我的宝宝
我是他们的妈妈 想让宝宝受洗
现在就拿出圣水开始吧 神父
不 亲爱的 传统来讲
受洗之前要做完整的弥撒
是的 但酒吧特价时段要开始了
那好 那好 那好
以圣父圣子圣灵之名 我为你们施洗
Jay, you're back!
杰 你回来了
Why do you sound surprised?
你为什么听起来这么诧异
You cut my brakes or something?
像没指望我能活着回来似的
What the hell's a priest doing here?
家里为什么有个牧师
Oh, it's just a check-up.
不过是来检查一下
One of the babies maybe is...possessed.
宝宝之一或许被附身了
Wait, are you baptizing them behind Haley
等等 你要瞒着海莉和那个谁
and what's-his-name's back?
让宝宝们受洗
You can't do that to other people's kids!
你不能对别人的孩子这样做
It's not a big deal.
没什么大不了的
If it works, the babies are protected,
有用的话 宝宝们会受到保护
their souls are safe,
她们的灵魂就安全了
and they're gonna spend eternity in Heaven.
可以在天堂直到永远
If it doesn't,
如果没用
it's just like I gave them a little bath.
就像洗了个澡一样
歌洛莉亚 这个臭脾气的老头是谁
"Viejo." I know that word.
"老"字我听得懂
Did Father Time here just call me old?
这位时光老人居然说我老
Okay, let's all calm down.
好了 我们冷静点
Let's introduce the babies to the one true God,
让宝宝们投入唯一的真神的怀抱
then we'll have some coffee cake.
然后一起吃些咖啡蛋糕
You know you're crossing a line here.
你知道你这么做过分了
Haley and Dylan doesn't even have to know.
不用让海莉和迪兰知道
Know what?
知道什么
Why is there a priest here?
家里为什么有个牧师
I told you, Poppy's possessed!
我跟你说过 茵素被附身了
Everybody can see it but you.
除了你别人都看出来了
Why didn't you just ask us?
你就问问我们不行吗
神父 原谅我 但我必须说谎
I did. I did ask you.
我问过 我问过你
You said yes. I think you were very drunk.
你答应了 我想你当时喝得很醉
Haley, New-Phil,
海莉 新菲尔
do you really want this baptism?
你们真的想让孩子受洗吗
I don't know.
我不知道
We've barely thought about it.
我们没怎么想过这个问题
Dylan did say that he was going to research some religions.
迪兰确实说过会研究一下宗教的事
I'm halfway through this Jim Jones documentary.
吉姆·琼斯纪录片我刚看了一半
So far, that religion seems pretty cool.
目前觉得那个宗教挺酷的[是个邪教]
I'm sorry that I didn't ask you before.
很抱歉我没事先问你
I really wanted to do this for George and Poppy.
我真的想让乔治和茵素受洗
Baptism is gonna allow their souls
受洗会让他们的灵魂
to find eternal peace.
找到永恒的平和
What's the catch?
有什么代价
Well, there's a lot of donations
总是要捐款
and some shame around sex,
还要为性爱感到羞耻
but Christmas is fun.
但圣诞节很热闹
I don't even know how I can decide,
我都不知道该怎么决定
but I guess it can't hurt.
但我想没什么大问题
You're going to the kingdom of Heaven.
你们能去天国了
And there, you're going to join the souls of some of our greats,
在那 你们会与人类最优秀的灵魂相遇
like Joan of Arc, Mother Theresa,
例如圣女贞德 特蕾莎修女
Danny DeVito when he dies.
早晚会死的丹尼·德维托
Go.
开始吧
Yes.
好的
以圣父圣子圣灵之名 我为你们施洗
- Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - ‭What now?
-等等 等等 等等 -又怎么了
Well, I'm sorry.
不好意思
It just -- It suddenly just got very real,
只是 这突然间变得好真实
and it does not feel right to end,
让他做完就是感觉不对
and I don't know why,
我不知道为什么
Grandpa, am I making too much of this? I --
外公 是我反应过度了吗
Don't ask him because he doesn't even believe in God.
别问他 因为他根本不信上帝
I just don't think
我只是不觉得
you need church, costumes, all that stuff
人需要教堂和袍子那些东西
to feel a higher power.
来感受神圣的力量
But you think there is one?
但你相信它的存在
Yeah, I felt it when my kids were born,
是的 我在孩子们出生时感受到了
and, um, when I met this crazy woman here
当我遇到这个想共度一生的疯女人
that I want to spend the rest of my life with,
我也感受到了
but, you know, it can be just a normal everyday thing, too.
但也可以是日常小事
You know, like the way it makes me feel
好比我听到棒球飞进手套时
when I hear a baseball thump into a mitt
所体验的那种感觉
or the way Tom Waits' voice
或是汤姆·威兹的声音
can somehow be ugly and beautiful at the same time.
莫名地难听又好听
Am I making any sense?
你明白我的意思吗
You know, last year, Dylan and I went to Yosemite,
去年 迪兰和我去了优胜美地国家公园
and we woke up really early one morning,
某个清晨我们很早就醒了
and it was just us and those gorgeous mountains,
我们静静望着那些峻美的群山
a bunch of huge trees, and a family of deer.
那么多参天大树 大鹿带着小鹿
It was so beautiful,
是那么美好
and it made me feel like I was connected
让我觉得我和某种更伟大的能量
to something bigger than myself.
联系在了一起
You know what, maybe one day
或许某天
we can get them baptized in a church,
我们会让他们在教堂受洗
but for now,
但现在
why don't we take them up to Yosemite
我们何不带他们去优胜美地国家公园
and look up and say thank you?
然后仰望天空说谢谢
That sounds like a great plan, Haley.
听上去是个很棒的计划 海莉
Yeah.
是啊
And maybe roast some marshmallows while you're there
你在那里的时候可以烤些棉花糖
so that they get used to being around fire.
这样他们就会习惯接近火[地狱]了
No, Nick, you can't keep taking money from marketing.
不 尼克 你不能一直从市场部拿钱
They need --
他们需要
What?
什么
No, I will not stay on the phone
你在度假的时候
while you moon a cruise ship.
我不会和你一直保持联系
Are you --
你是
- Claire? - Hang on.
-克莱尔 -等等
Claire.
克莱尔
What was that out there?
那是什么
I thought we were supposed to be on the same team.
我以为我们是一队的
We are. I --
我们是啊
They've got a great idea.
他们有个好主意
You're just jealous because Luke went to Scooter
你只是嫉妒因为卢克寻求了斯库特的帮助
and not to you.
而不是来找你
That is not true.
才不是
Really? You don't think they're on to something?
真的吗 你不觉得他们有点东西吗
It's an amazing idea. ‭Okay.
是个很棒的想法 好吧
But why didn't he come to me?
但他为什么不来找我
Because you love everything I do.
因为你爱我所做的一切
I wanted to make sure this was actually a good idea.
我想确定这真的是个好主意
That is so smart.
这个想法太机智了
How is someone this handsome --
怎么会有人这么帅又...
Okay, this is what I'm talking about.
我刚才说的就是你这样
I love inventing with you, but this is a business.
我喜欢和你一起发明 但这是生意
And Scooter has a lot of experience.
斯库特有很多经验
That doesn't take away from
这并不代表
all of the things that we've made together.
我们共同创造的一切就不重要
All of that stuff brought me here.
是它们带领我走到了现在
- Really? - You can't spell FormFiller without Phil.
-真的吗 -表格填写[fill]的拼写中少不了Phil[菲尔]
But you know you can, right?
但你知道是可以的吧
The man's hurting. I'm throwing him a bone.
他很伤心 我是在安慰他
I'm proud of you, Luke.
真为你骄傲 卢克
Damn it, I'm proud of Scooter, too.
见鬼 我也为斯库特骄傲
Wow.
You know, seeing your guys' pitch,
看到你们报告想法时
and the -- the passion, that sparkle in your eye,
眼中闪耀的狂热还有热情
I -- I don't remember the last time
我都不记得上次见你
I saw you care about anything that much.
这么在乎一件事是什么时候了
I don't remember the last time I did.
我也不记得我上次是什么时候
That's super hurtful.
这真是太伤人了
No, sweetie, I'm talking about work.
没有 亲爱的 我指的是工作
I -- Honestly, I used to get up in the morning,
说实话 我以前早上起床的时候
and I couldn't wait to get to the office.
我迫不及待地要上班
And now I dread it.
现在我感到害怕
I do.
没错
I miss loving my job or even liking it.
我怀念热爱工作或者喜欢工作的日子
Now all I do is put out fires and manage complaints
现在我做的就是为别人擦屁股 处理投诉
and -- and lose sleep over stuff
还因为一些无关紧要的
that really doesn't matter.
事情而失眠
Yeah. I think I'm --
是啊 我想我
I think I'm gonna quit my job.
我想我要辞职了
Are you serious?
你说真的吗
Yeah.
是的
Is that -- Is that crazy?
这疯狂吗
Uh, no. No, not necessarily.
没有 倒不是
I mean, crazy is sticking with something
我的意思是 疯狂是坚持
that's been making you miserable for months
做一件让你痛苦几个月的事情
when there are so many companies out there
而现在有很多公司
who would want someone with your skills.
都想要你这样的人才
Hey, Nick, you still there?
尼克 你还在吗
I told my son this morning that he should never quit.
我今天早上告诉我儿子 他不应该放弃
Well, I was wrong.
我错了
I'm out.
我退出
Aah! That felt so good!
天哪 感觉太好了
It was so scary, but it was so good.
太可怕了 但感觉太好了
I'm so proud of you, too!
我也真为你骄傲
Hear, hear!
听着
To our next adventure!
致我们下一场冒险
Oh, I found this in the wine cellar.
我在酒窖里找到的
It's a basement, Margaret.
那是个地下室 玛格丽特
No, no, close the gap!
快 快 超过他
Ball, ball, ball, ball, ball!
球 球 球 球 球
It was a nightmare.
简直是场噩梦
The biggest opportunity of my career,
这是我职业生涯中最大的机会
and I couldn't focus.
而我无法集中
I tried not to make any mockable movements.
我尽量不做出任何可笑的动作
David Tashi was just operating at too high a level.
大卫·达西的水平太高了
But then something wonderful happened.
但后来奇妙的事情发生了
Oh. You hurt me.
天哪 你打我
That's when I realized I knew that chicken --
就在那时 我意识到我认识那只鸡
those weak punches,
那弱弱的拳头
a run that said "pick me last" in gym class.
体育课时脸上写着"最后再来选我"的小跑
It was my Mitchell.
那是我的米奇尔
Okay, guys, come on! Let's huddle up. Huddle up.
大伙 过来 围过来 集合
Let's get out there and play our hearts out.
我们离开那里 好好打比赛
Let's go, let's go! Bring it in!
走吧 走吧 快过来
Pitkowski, come on.
皮特科夫斯基 快来
Something more interesting going on over there?
那边更有意思吗
Yeah, does anybody else
是啊 还有人能看见
see the dolphin fighting the chicken?
海豚和鸡在打架吗
'Cause I got hit pretty hard in the head earlier.
因为我之前头被狠狠的打中过
All right, let's go.
好了 过来
All right, so this is what we're gonna do.
我们接下要这么做
We're gonna go up, right, you're gonna be cutting...
我们上场 我们要断
Where's Daddy?
爸爸在哪里
He went to go return the chicken costume.
他去还小鸡服了
That was like two hours ago.
那是两个小时前的事情了
You don't think...
你不会认为
Okay, Mitchell?
米奇尔
Is that you in the mascot costume?
吉祥物里是你吗
Is someone forcing you to do that?
有人逼你这么做吗
Okay, then get in the car now.
那就赶紧上车
I stayed in California.
我住在加利福尼亚
I married outside of my religion.
我的婚姻违背了我的宗教信仰
I spend every waking moment with your family.
我醒着的时候都和你家人在一起
But my love is not unconditional.
但我的爱不是无条件的
Oh, Okay.
好的
I love it when they honk from me.
我喜欢人们朝我按喇叭[也可是调戏]