当个海盗的好处 Tom Nash: The perks of being a pirate

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演员: Tom Nash


台词
Often when I'm out in public,
当我在公共场所的时候,
a child will stare at me.
总会有个小孩盯着我。
And if the child is particularly brave, they'll approach me and ask:
如果这个小孩比较勇敢, 他会走过来问我:
"Are you a pirate?"
“你是海盗吗?”
(Laughter)
(笑声)
To which I then need to respond,
而我就得再一次回答,
once again,
“没错。”
"Yes."
(笑声)
(Laughter)
我是说,大家都知道的:
I mean, let's be honest:
我手装俩钩子, 双腿义肢,还嗜好烈酒。
I've got two hooks, prosthetic legs and a penchant for hard liquor.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
再加一个眼罩 和一只鹦鹉就齐活了。
All I need is an eye-patch and a parrot, and I'm basically there.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
不过我喜欢当海盗。
But I like being a pirate.
我发觉残疾也能有许多好处,
I find many advantages to having a disability,
我指的不仅是可以 省下买手套的钱……
and I'm not just talking about the money I save on gloves ...
(笑声)
(Laughter)
或是有不用学用筷子的 极其合理的借口。
or the fantastically legitimate excuse for never having to master chopsticks.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
我指的是在经受了 身体上的患难后,
I'm talking about real advantages I feel I've gained,
我觉得我真正得到的好处。
having gone through physical adversity.
在我 19 岁时, 我染上了一种病,
When I was 19, I contracted a disease
使我失去了手肘以下的双臂,
that resulted in the loss of both my arms at the elbows,
膝盖以下的双腿,
both my legs below the knee,
在我脸上留下的伤疤之多, 可以让杀手弗莱迪都嫉妒三分。
and left enough scars on my face to elicit jealousy in Freddy Krueger.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
我也许永远也不能 用手语交流了,
Now, I may never be able to communicate in sign language,
但我的适应力和解决问题的 能力已经得到大幅提高,
but my increased resilience and general ability to problem-solve
因为我被迫横向思考,
has been heightened by being forced to think laterally
来克服大多数人 都不会遇到的问题。
to overcome problems that most people aren't faced with.
我最早学会的一课
One of the first lessons that I learned
伴随着重新学走路这项
immediately followed the painful and arduous task
痛苦而艰巨的任务,
of learning how to walk again,
不过我的余生都从中受益。
but it went on to pay dividends for the rest of my life.
那是在我尝试踏上 马路牙子的时候。
It happened when I attempted to step up a curb.
虽说对于你们中大多数人来说, 这动作听起来很基础,
Now as rudimentary as this action sounds to most of you,
但对于我们这些 脚踝没法动的人来说,
stepping up a curb is somewhat of a challenge
踏上马路牙子算是一种挑战。
for those of us without ankle movement.
于是我试图用我熟知的办法,
So I tried stepping up the curb
从正面踩上马路牙子,
the way I'd always known how, front on,
可连续多日的尝试
for days on end,
都以失败告终,
with no success,
直到能明显察觉,
until it became obvious that the time and effort
我投入的时间与努力
I was investing into this endeavor was clearly disproportionate
和它带来的好处 根本不成正比。
to the benefit of its outcome.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
所以我决定从另外的角度 来审视这个问题。
So, I decided to inspect the problem from a different angle.
如果我没法用踝关节
If I couldn't use an ankle joint
做出足够幅度的动作 来登上马路牙子,
to achieve the range of motion that I required to mount the curb,
我就得用别的的关节,
I would have to use a different joint,
比如我的髋关节。
like my hip.
于是我把身体扭成与路边垂直,
So I turned my body perpendicular to the curb
把我的一只脚侧着放上去,
and placed my foot up sideways,
然后我一下子就能踏上去了。
and I was able to step up immediately.
五分钟之内,
Within five minutes,
没有楼梯能逃过我前进的步伐。
no staircase was safe from my advances.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
就在那一天, 我一口气爬上了三层楼梯,
That very day, I climbed a staircase of three flights,
连我自己都震惊了,
which I was quite impressed with as well,
然后我发现, 我不知道该怎么下楼梯。
except I realized that I didn't know how to get back down again.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
那可真是个漫长的周末。
That was a long weekend.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
在我过去身体还健全时,
Now, in my past life as an able-bodied person,
我曾是个吉他手。
I'd been a guitarist.
我弹得还算可以,
I was alright as a player,
不过从没有要更上一层楼。
but I'd never really taken it further.
我从没组建过乐队, 或是频繁现场演出。
I'd never really started a band or played live all that much.
但无论如何, 音乐是我的一大挚爱,
Nonetheless, music was a great passion of mine,
当我失去双臂的时候,
and when I lost my arms,
想到音乐可能从此与我无缘,
the idea that it may no longer be a part of my life
我的求生意志 便受到了致命打击。
critically challenged my will to keep living.
但是,在出院之后,
However, the thought that emerged
我立刻想到的是:
immediately after being discharged from hospital was:
“如果雷 · 查尔斯(Ray Charles) 眼盲得像只蝙蝠也可以弹钢琴,
"If Ray Charles can play the piano while blind as a bat,
我也可以为这个吉他难题想想办法。”
let's get to work on a solution for this guitar problem."
于是,咨询了一位工程师后,
So, consulting with an engineer,
我设计了一个滑音管装置, 钩在我的左手钩子上,
I designed a slide system that would hook into my left hook,
然后我又设计了一个拨片 固定装置,夹在我右手钩子上。
and I devised another pick-holder system that would clip into my right hook.
如果这样行得通, 我就可以把吉他平放在腿上,
Now, if this worked,
用开放定弦弹奏, 像幻灯片吉他那样。
I would be able to play the guitar open tuned on my lap, like a slide.
经过数周的调试和修改之后,
So after weeks of testing and alterations,
我终于有装备 可以重新弹吉他了,
I finally had the accessories back to play the guitar again,
然后我立刻回到了 我失去双手前的状态——
and I was right back where I was before losing my hands --
那自然是被邻居投诉噪音太大。
being issued with noise complaints from my neighbors, obviously.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
不过这次,我又更进一步,
But this time, I took it further.
和朋友们组建了一支乐队。
I started a band with my friends.
我们自己写歌、录音,
We wrote songs and recorded them.
甚至还给真人观众们演出。
We even played gigs to real people.
没像现在那么多人啦。
Not as many as this.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
尽管这只是一小步,
But even though it was a just a tiny step,
但和我还完好无缺时的成就相比, 这已经是一次巨大的飞跃。
it was a giant leap from what I'd achieved when I was all in one piece.
的确,重学每一个 曾经习得的动作
Now while relearning every action that one has ever cultivated
听起来像是件 任重而道远的事情——
might seem like a significant undertaking --
而且相信我,在短期来说, 它的确如此——
and believe me, it very much was, in the short term --
它依然积极地影响了
it was nonetheless having a positive effect
我处理人生中所有 其他事情的方式。
on the way that I approached everything else in my life.
它不仅仅转变了 我解决困难的能力,
Not only did it transform my ability to problem-solve,
它还让我变得更加务实,
but I also felt I became more pragmatic,
对挫折没那么敏感,
less sensitive to hindrances,
在某些情况下,更有耐心,
in some cases, more patient,
还能很神奇地让人们
and magically transformed people's abilities
在公共交通工具上给我让座。
to offer me their seats on public transport.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
琐碎的小挫折 跟我之前克服的困难
Trivial setbacks began to pale in comparison
相比就相形见绌了,
to challenges I'd previously overcome,
而这让我可以冷静谨慎 地面对这些挑战,
and this allowed me to take a calm and measured approach to these challenges,
保持客观务实,
keeping them in perspective
还经常能发现更好的新办法 来克服困难。
and often even finding new and improved ways to overcome them.
不拘泥于负能量,
The benefit of not dwelling on the negative
只管完成手头上的任务,
and just getting on with the task at hand
这样做的好处不言而喻。
became self-evident.
它甚至鼓舞我去追寻 曾经显得并不可取,
It even encouraged me to pursue some more fulfilling career paths
却让我感到更加充实的事业道路。
that may otherwise have been inadvisable.
而谁能想到,适合我的工作
And who would have thought that an appropriate job for me
竟会涉及对电子设备的精密操作,
might involve the meticulous operation of electronic equipment
在难以企及的地方给一群喝醉的人们
to curate dance music to people in inaccessible places
播放电音舞曲。
under the influence of alcohol.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
我可没想到。
Not I.
在这个竞争激烈行业中, DJ 们不断磨炼他们的技艺,
So in a competitive industry where DJs have been relentlessly honing their craft,
拼了命地接活出演, 给夜店发歌曲小样,
desperate to attain gigs, sending demos to clubs,
而我和我的至交好友 选择了另一种方式,
my best friend and I took a different approach,
我们自己开了家夜店,
and we started our own club night,
然后聘用我们自己当 DJ。
and we employed ourselves as the DJs.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
一夜之间, 我们就成了舞台上的焦点。
Suddenly, we had a headline slot.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
我们刚开始举办夜店活动的时候, 我甚至还不会打碟。
Now, when we started that club night, I could not DJ.
我人生第一次用打碟机 是在我们开业的那晚,
The first time I ever got behind the decks was on our opening night,
面对数百个人。
in front of hundreds of people.
我才刚搞清楚播放键在哪儿。
I'd only just learned where the play button was.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
不过,一个人先前面临了 如此多最后通牒的情况,
But, being previously faced with so many ultimatums,
他已经被迫在适应 新状况时灵活变通。
one's forced to be astute in adapting to new situations.
我们的夜店演出之后成为了
That club night went on to become
悉尼最经久不衰 的每周夜店演出,
the longest-running weekly club night in Sydney,
而我们之后也作为 DJ 在 澳洲最大的音乐节上出演。
and we as DJs went on to play Australia's biggest music festivals.
所以最后, 要么是我学习得很快,
So eventually, I either learned quickly,
要么是夜店标准 已经一落千丈了。
or the standards of clubs have gone really downhill.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
濒临死亡可以是一次 很有教育意义的体验。
Coming close to death can be an educational experience.
可以肯定的是, 在这之后一般人
It's certainly true that one's priorities receive somewhat of a realignment
多少都会重新安排 自己的优先事项。
immediately afterwards.
同样可以肯定的是, 其中一些优先事项
And it's also true that some of those priorities
会因为更加强烈的 紧迫感而被完成。
are met with an increased sense of urgency.
不过另一个更加突出的感悟是,
But another, more salient realization that comes to light
自己的虚荣心和不安感 是多么不值一提。
is the triviality of our own self-importance and self-consciousness.
当真正明白了过剩的自我意识
To truly understand the extent to which your self-consciousness
有多么阻碍你去抓住机遇,
prohibits you from engaging in opportunities
这应该会让所有人 冒他们本不会去冒的险。
should lead everyone to take risks they otherwise wouldn't.
我们只不过是浩瀚宇宙 时间线上的一瞬而已,对吧?
We're merely a blip on the time line of the universe, right?
抓紧时间去行动。
Act accordingly.
今天我讲述的理念确实是
Now the ideas that I'm presenting today were imbued upon me
通过一些不幸的境况 灌输给我的,
through some otherwise unfortunate circumstances, granted,
不过这些理念沉睡在每一个 愿意去发掘它们的人的心中。
but they're lying dormant in the lives of anyone who's willing to exploit them.
如果我们都理解 我们都有独特的缺陷,
If we all understand that we all have unique weaknesses,
并且如果我们 坦诚面对这些缺陷,
and if we're honest about what they are,
我们就可以学会 如何充分利用它们,
we can learn how to best take advantage of them,
无论是难以踏上马路牙子, 还是畏惧介绍销售报告,
whether they be mounting a curb or fear of presenting sales reports
抑或是无法好好管理 自己的财务状况——
or the inability to sufficiently manage one's finances --
看看那家伙——
looking at that guy --
(笑声)
(Laughter)
利用好缺陷可以获得 学习和适应的能力,
there lies the ability to learn, to adapt,
甚至还有能力重塑一个人 对待挑战的本能反应。
and even the ability to rewire one's instinctual response to challenges.
遇到困境是件好事,
Adversity is good,
它有潜力让你变得更强。
and it has the potential to make you stronger.
而且,如果你看起来像个海盗,
And, at the very least,
最起码你可以把小孩子 吓得屁滚尿流。
you can scare the hell out of kids if you look like a pirate.
谢谢。
Thanks.
(掌声和欢呼)