好汉两个半第一季双语台词对白剧本

Never mix tequila and scotch.

永远别把龙舌兰酒和威士忌混在一起喝

Morning,Uncle Charlie.

早上好查理伯伯

Jake,buddy.

杰克老兄

Dad said you'd never get up to go to soccer with me.

爸爸说你一定起不来看我踢球的

But I said,he promised. So he was wrong.

但我说他答应我的看来他错了

What?

什么?

You know,most of the parents wear shorts and lots of sunscreen,

你知道吗大多数父母穿短裤还抹防晒霜

but that's another way to go.

不过你这样打扮也没问题

Alan,I can't go to a soccer game. I just got home from Vegas.

艾伦足球赛我去看不成我刚从拉斯维加斯回来

You went out last night to return a video.

你昨晚是去还录像带的呀

I ran into a friend of mine who was getting married at the Bellagio.

我碰巧遇到个准备在美丽湖酒店结婚的朋友

That explains the tuxedo.

难怪你会穿这身燕尾服

No,I think this was for something else entirely.

不我印象中穿这个好像是为了别的事儿

I'm sure I'll read about it in the paper.

我相信我会在报纸上读到的

Anyway,I am the Soccer Snack Buddy this week,

我是这周负责足球赛供应点心的小二

so I've gotta stop at the grocery store.

所以我得去趟杂货店

Why don't you ride to the game with Jake when the van gets here?

要不等车来了之后你和杰克去比赛场吧?

I got a better idea.

我有个更好的主意

Why don't I go upstairs,throw up and sleep in my clothes for 12 hours?

我还是上楼呕吐之后穿着衣服睡上12个小时好些吧?

Fine,but if you're not gonna come,

行啊但如果你不去看比赛

-you gotta tell Jake yourself. -Fine. He'll understand.

-你得自己跟杰克说去 -好啊他会理解我的

-Jake? -I got new cleats.

-杰克? -我有新鞋子啦

Nice. Listen,Jake,buddy.

不错听着杰克宝贝

Have you ever been to Vegas?

你有没有去过拉斯维加斯?

So you're the infamous Uncle Charlie.

你就是那个臭名昭著的查理伯伯?

I've heard about you.

久仰大名

■

=====本字幕由以下成员荣誉制作感谢他们的无私奉献======翻译：Jacqueline 时间轴：Noodle 校对：holyzch 压制：Noodle========== 字幕总监制：holyzch ==========

美剧独家首发在线免费观看尽在 www.unioncast.tv

好汉两个半第一季第五集

Everybody out. Watch your heads. One at a time.

所有人下车小心碰头一个接一个下

-Party time. -Come on.

-游戏时间 -快呀

Here's the deal,Uncle Charlie. I find you attractive.

是这样的查理伯伯我觉得你很迷人

I have three kids,a bastard of an ex-husband,

我有三个孩子一个混球前夫

I work 50 hours a week at my own travel agency,

一周在我自己开的旅行社工作50个小时

I'm at the peak of my sexuality,

我现在是性高涨时期

I have a three-hour window Wednesdays when the kids are at tae kwon do.

周三孩子们去学跆拳道的时候我有空

You in or out?

你意下如何?

I'm sorry,I'm terminally hung over and I just took a cleat in the groin.

不好意思我宿醉后还没完全清醒而且刚还被鞋子踢到要害了

E-mail me. Allaboardgloria @aol.com.

有空给我发邮件吧人人都上歌罗瑞亚@aol.com

So,which one's yours?

哪一个是你家小孩?

Please don't make me talk.

请不要让我讲话

This is Charlie Harper. Alan Harper's brother.

这位是查理·哈勃艾伦·哈勃的兄长

-So,who's winning? -No one.

-哪边赢家? -没有赢家

We don't keep score. We think it's healthier if the kids just play for fun.

我们不计分的我们认为小孩儿只是为了乐趣而玩比较健康

You're yanking me,right?

你说笑呢对吧?

Judith warned us that you were a pistol.

朱蒂丝提醒我们说你是个刺头

By the way,we were so sorry to hear about her and Alan.

对了我们对于她和艾伦的事感到遗憾

So tell us,is it true?

跟我们说说那是真的吗?

Did Judith leave your brother for another woman?

朱蒂丝真是因为别的女人才离开你弟弟的吗?

-Why don't you ask Judith? -We wouldn't want to pry.

-你们干嘛不自己问朱蒂丝? -我们不想太过八卦而已

Ladies,if you'll excuse me,

女士们我失陪一下

I have to go because,hell,I don't need a reason.

因为我得离开见鬼我干嘛要解释原因

Someone's a little full of himself.

有些人很自以为是嘛

Forget him. His brother's the one who's in play.

不管他赛场上的那个是他弟弟的小孩

How's Jake doing?

杰克怎么样了?

Jake's fine. He's 10. He's got his whole life ahead of him.

杰克多好他才十岁他还有大好前程呢

Me,on the other hand,

而我从另一方面讲

I'm sitting in the hot sun,in rented pants listening to myself blink.

坐在大太阳下穿着租来的裤子还得听着自己眨眼睛的噪音

I'll ask somebody else.

我还是问别人吧

What?

怎么了?

Sorry. I couldn't help overhearing,and you just look so

抱歉我忍不住偷听到你看起来实在太

pathetic.

可悲了

Really? The guy at the tux shop said I looked dashing.

是么? 晚礼服店的人说我看起来光彩夺目

Of course,that was yesterday.

当然那是昨天说的

And I found his phone number in my pocket.

之后我就在口袋里发现了他的电话号码

-What was the occasion? -Just returning a video.

-什么情况? -还录影带而已

-Charlie Harper. -Kate McLaughlin.

-查理·哈勃 -凯特·麦克拉林

Let me ask you something,Kate McLaughlin.

让我来问你几个问题凯特·麦克拉林

What's your take on this whole no-keeping-score thing?

你对于比赛不计分这事儿怎么看?

I think it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

我觉得这是我见过最蠢的事儿

Can I stay here next to you where it's safe?

我能坐你旁边吗这里比较安全

Sure.

可以啊

So,which one's yours?

哪个是你家小孩?

Number nine. But I'm not the father.

九号不过我不是他爸

Aren't you a good sport?

看来你不擅长运动啊

Jake,for the last time,

杰克我再说最后一次

nobody got "creamed." No one won,no one lost.

没有人"兴奋" 没人赢也没人输

Yeah. Except for us. 12-2.

好啊除了我们 12比2

It doesn't matter if you win or lose. It's whether or not you beat the spread.

输赢并不重要重要的是你有没有被痛宰

Thank you,Charlie. Jake,go take a shower.

真是谢谢你了查理杰克洗澡去

Charlie,we are trying to teach the kids not to keep score.

查理我们在教孩子不要去计分

You should've thought of that before you taught them to count.

你在教他们数数前应该想到这个

By the way,what are you doing with Jake tomorrow?

顺便问一下你和杰克明天有什么安排?

I don't know. Why?

没计划呢怎么啦?

I made a play date for him with one of the kids from the game.

我帮他和球队的孩子约了个"游玩日"

You're hitting on the mother,aren't you?

你想吊人家小孩的妈了对吧?

Can't slip one past you,can I?

什么都逃不过你的法眼对吧?

That's not what a play date is for.

"游玩日"不该是为了这个

What? The kid plays,I have a date. Everybody wins.

怎么? 小孩可以玩我也可以约会一举多得啊

-Everybody wins? -Yes.

-一举多得? -是呀

But I promise not to keep score.

但我保证不计分好吧

Charlie,you cannot use my son to pick up single mothers.

查理你不能利用我儿子去钓单身母亲的

But I can.

但我可以

Good night,Snack Buddy.

晚安点心大叔

No going in the water,no throwing rocks,and remember,

不准去水边不准扔石头还有记住

if you can't see us,we can't see you.

如果你们看不到我们我们也看不到你们

Is there anything you'd like to add,Charlie?

你还有什么要补充的查理?

-Why can't they throw rocks? -Go.

-为什么他们不能扔石头? -玩去吧

Ernie loves the beach. Thanks for inviting him.

厄尼喜欢在海滩玩谢谢你邀请他

Anything for the kids. They're our future.

为了孩子怎么都好他们可是我们的未来

-So,where's Alan? -I sent him to the movies.

-艾伦在哪儿呢? -我让他看电影去了

He deserves a break,and I get some quality uncle time with Jake.

他应该休息休息这样我也可以好好陪陪杰克

I think that is really nice of you.

我觉得你人真好

Ernie,keep your socks with your shoes.

厄尼别脱鞋袜

I'm sorry,where was l?

抱歉说到哪儿了?

You were saying I was nice about something.

你说我人很好之类的

How long have you lived in Sherman Oaks?

你在雪曼橡树区住了多久啦?

We moved in and... Ernie,put that down,it's dead.

我们搬来有... 厄尼把那个放下那是死的

That kid'll pick up anything,no matter what it looks like.

小孩什么都捡无论那东西看起来像什么

Been there.

明白

Anyway,We moved in just in time for the earthquake...

我们搬来的时候正好赶上地震...

Ernie,I am not gonna say it again.

厄尼我不会再说一遍了

Put the dead thing down.

把那个死东西放下

Jake,you should probably put your dead thing down,too.

杰克你可能也该把你那个死东西放下

-Kids. -I know. They're just...

-小孩嘛 -我明白他们只是...

Ernie,put it down or we're leaving right now.

厄尼把那放下否则我们立马离开

I'm counting to three. One,two...

我数到三一二

Ernie,for God's sake,you're killing me here.

厄尼求你了我要被你整死了

-Thank you. -No problem.

-谢谢 -不客气

-So,did you grow up in L.A.? -No.

-你在洛杉矶长大的吗? -不是

My dad was in the Army so we moved around...

我爸参了军所以我们搬到...

Hell,that thing's not dead.

见鬼那东西还没死

I'd like to get to know you,it's not gonna happen on a play date.

我很希望深入了解你但带着孩子绝对不行

-why donn't you ask me out sometime? -That's a really good...

-不如改天约我好了? -那真是太好...

Are you happy? I told you to put it down,Ernie.

你满意了吧? 我早让你放下的厄尼

Get the sand off of it. No. Don't touch it.

把沙子拍掉别别碰它

-What night's good for you? -Jake,you're not helping.

-你哪天有空啊? -杰克你别帮倒忙了

-Don't wait up. -Back to Vegas?

-不要等我啦 -回拉斯维加斯呀?

Even better. Sherman Oaks.

比那儿更好雪曼橡树区

The gateway to Van Nuys.

通往凡奈之路(加利福尼亚)

Kate again?

又是凯特?

Charlie,You have no clue what you're getting involved in

查理你根本不知道牵扯上这些足球小子的妈妈

-with these divorced soccer moms. -You're right.

-会有什么结果 -你说的没错

I don't have a clue. I've never had a clue. It's part of my charm.

我是不明白也没明白过这就是我的魅力之所在

At least keep in mind that all these women talk to each other.

那至少记住这些妇女会互通有无的

So anything you do will get back to my wife,

所以不管你做什么都会传到我老婆那儿

and somehow become my fault.

最后无端变成我的错

That doesn't seem fair.

这貌似不公平

So,where are you going?

你要干嘛去?

I'm helping Gloria with the soccer league newsletter.

我去帮歌罗瑞亚弄足球联盟的简报

I'm thinking of calling it "Just For Kicks."

我想命名为"只为踢球"

wait a minute. This is the same Gloria who drives the kid van?

等等这和开车送小孩的歌罗瑞亚是同一个人么?

-Yeah. Why? -Nothing. Have fun.

-是呀怎么啦? -没什么玩的愉快

Talk about not having a clue.

走着瞧看谁不明白

And I designed a logo,

我设计了一个标识

the "K" in "Kicks" is a little foot.

"踢"的偏旁旁边有个小脚丫

Sounds wonderful.

听起来不错

I can't thank you enough for taking the time to do this.

让你花时间来做这个我真是不知道怎么感谢你

Anything for the kids.

为了孩子嘛

You're such a good father.

你真是个好父亲

It's a shame that Judith didn't appreciate you.

朱蒂丝不懂得欣赏你是她的损失

She just needed a little time to sort things out.

她只是需要点时间整理思绪

But,yeah. It's a shame.

但没错是她的损失

Look at you.

看看你

A successful chiropractor,intelligent,dedicated.

一个成功的脊椎按摩师集智慧和细心于一身

You're embarrassing me.

说的我都不好意思了

I'm sorry.

抱歉啦

Let's get back to your little logo.

咱们还是说说你的小标识吧

-What's wrong? -Nothing.

-怎么啦? -没事儿

It's my neck. I must have slept wrong.

是我的脖子大概睡姿有问题吧

Make an appointment with my office,we'll see if we can fix that.

到我诊所预约好了我看看能不能治好

No,I'd feel funny.

别呀我会不好意思的

We know each other.

我们可认识对方呀

Don't be silly. It's what I do.

别傻了那是我该做的

Turn around. Turn around. Go ahead.

转身转过去转吧

-Are you getting enough calcium? -I guess.

-你补钙补得够着呢吧? -是吧

It's really important for a woman your age.

钙质对于你这个年纪的女人很重要的

Osteoporosis is a real problem.

骨质疏松可是个严重问题

Curvature of the spine.

还有椎间盘突出啦

Last thing you want is to wind up with a hump.

你肯定不想变成驼背吧

I hope you didn't start without me.

希望你们没在我来之前就开始了

-What are you talking about? -Bill,you did this on purpose.

-你说什么呢? -比尔你是故意那么做的

You showed up late so you could snoop on me.

你故意来晚好能偷偷监视我

-You got to meet my girlfriend. -What meet? She was our babysitter.

-你见过我女朋友了啊 -什么呀她是我们的保姆

Will you get out of here,Bill?

你能不能给我滚出去比尔?

Kate,I'm trying. Ernie,would you put your shoes on?

凯特我也想呀厄尼能不能把鞋穿上?

-Bill. -Charlie.

-比尔 -查理

That your Jag?

那是你的捷豹(福特跑车)?

-Yeah. -It's nice.

-是呀 -不错

I got the Navigator over there.

我的领航者(林肯越野车)在那儿

That's nice,too.

也很不错嘛

Let's go,Dad.

走吧老爸

All right,then. You try and make her happy.

那就这样吧你想办法哄她开心好了

Truthfully,I think that my ex was intimidated

事实上我觉得吓到我前夫的是

by my sexual...

我的性的...

I don't even know,how to say it. Appetite.

我不知道该怎么说胃口吧

So we're agreed we'll set aside six inches for the editorial column?

所以我们都同意了编辑区旁留六英寸?

I'm sorry. Yes,six inches.

抱歉哈是的六英寸

I don't know how I got so off-topic.

我不知道怎么就跑题了

I know exactly how you got off-topic.

我很清楚你是怎么跑题的

ok. I think the next piece of business is to decide on the paper color.

好了我想下来该决定纸的颜色了

I brought some samples. We've got

我带了些样本我们有

goldenrod,salmon,mustard...

菊花色鲑鱼色芥末色...

You had me at goldenrod.

听到你说小菊花我就动心了

Everybody has you at goldenrod.

人人都知道你喜欢小菊花

My brother,Alan,warned me not to go out with you tonight.

我弟弟艾伦提醒我今晚不要和你约会

That's funny.

真有趣

Everybody warned me not to go out with you.

每个人都提醒我不要和你出来约会

It worked for Romeo and Juliet,

对罗密欧和朱丽叶来说就没问题

up until the poison and the stabbing.

直到他们喝下毒药和自杀之前

Charlie,I have a confession.

查理我要坦白件事儿

I haven't been out with a man other than my husband in 12 years.

十二年来除了我老公我没和其他男人约会过

That's not a problem.

这不是问题

A couple of things have changed,I can bring you up to date.

虽然很多事变了但我可以帮你跟上时代的步伐

Please do.

愿闻其详

All right,well,nowadays,women pay for dinner.

好吧如今的用餐都是女人付账

And of course,sex is a given.

当然饭后嘿咻是死规定

I'll tell you one thing,I am not paying for dinner.

那我至少要告诉你我是不会为晚餐付账的

Rats.

可恶

Look at the time. Maybe we should get going.

时间不早我们也该走了

Give Gloria a chance for a little quiet time before

在歌罗瑞亚那么多孩子回来之前

her many,many kids come home.

我们还是让她享受一下这片刻的宁静吧

I don't need any quiet time.

我不需要宁静

Don't be silly.

别傻啦

Alan,would you mind driving me home?

艾伦你介不介意送我回家啊?

I'm feeling a little tipsy.

我有点儿醉意

A little tipsy? How about a little obvious?

有点儿醉意? 是有点明显吧?

-I'm sorry? -Could I talk to you for a minute?

-你说什么? -我能单独跟你谈谈么?

-lt is getting a little late. -Sit down.

-时间不早了 -给我坐下

We'll be right back.

我们马上回来

I think she's going through the change.

我觉得她是更年期综合征

-What do you think you're doing? -What?

-你以为你在干什么? -什么?

He's in play. I'm playing.

他在我的游戏之中我掌控着游戏

I'm the one who told you he's in play.

是我告诉你他在游戏之中的吧

Please. I told you two years ago that marriage was toast.

拜托两年前我就告诉过你他的婚姻快黄了

So what?

那又怎样?

He's in my house on tae kwon do Wednesday,

周三跆拳道的空档他在我家

and I don't have time to mess around with you.

我没时间跟你胡闹

Why don't we just let him decide?

我们不如让他决定好了?

Let him decide?

让他决定?

He still thinks we're doing a soccer newsletter.

他还以为我们在做足球简报呢

-You don't even like him,do you? -He's okay.

-你甚至都不喜欢他不是吗 -他还好啦

He's here and it's Wednesday.

他在这儿而且又是周三

I happen to think he's hot.

我正好觉得他很性感

You wouldn't know what to do with a hot guy.

性感的家伙你应付不来的

Yeah? Well,watch me.

是么? 瞧我的吧

Great. You broke him.

很好你把他弄坏了

The biggest surprise was how much I loved having him around.

最意外的是我喜欢他在我身边

I mean,Jake's amazing.

我是说杰克很棒

Do you know I have,on occasion,actually put his needs ahead of my own?

你知道吗我有时候会把他的需求放在我的之前?

Like going to a soccer game at 8:00 am on a Saturday?

就像是周六早上八点看球赛?

Yes.

没错

At 8:00 am,I can barely get out of bed to go to the bathroom.

早上八点我连下床去厕所都难

What you're saying is having a child in your life

你是说在你的生命中有个孩子

totally changes the way you look at things.

完全改变的你看待事物的方式

Exactly.

就是这样

Of course,you probably know that already.

当然也许你已经知道了

But I like that you know it.

但我很高兴你也知道

-I had a really great time. -Me,too.

-今晚很愉快 -我也是

-Can we do this again? -I would love that.

-我们能再出来玩吗 -我很乐意啊

Great.

太好了

What happened? Did I do something wrong?

发生什么事儿了? 我做错什么了吗?

Please don't tell Alan's wife.

千万别告诉艾伦他老婆

No,you didn't do anything wrong.

不你什么也没做错

I really like you.

我真的很喜欢你

Okay. This is new for me.

好吧这对我还是新鲜事儿

It's just...

只是...

Charlie,I have a 10-year-old son.

查理我有个十岁的儿子

I have two mortgages,private school bills,

还有两份抵押贷款私立学校的账单

a full-time job,custody battles,alimony battles,

一份全职工作还要争取监护权赡养费

child support battles,car pools and drum lessons.

育儿费还要拼车去上鼓课

How can we possibly do this again?

我们怎么可能再出来约会?

You bought a 10-year-old a drum set?

你给十岁的小孩子买了架子鼓?

Don't change the subject. You know what I'm saying.

别转移话题你知道我在说什么

Do you really want to be involved in this?

你真的想牵扯进来吗?

I hadn't really thought that far ahead.

我还真没想那么远

Exactly.

没错

All right. I guess I'll see you around.

好啦我们改天见吧

Where are you going?

你去哪儿呀?

-Home. -Why?

-回家呀 -为什么?

I said we couldn't do it again. That doesn't mean we can't

我说我们不能再约可那不代表我们今晚

do it tonight.

也不能做

Boy,you really don't have a clue,do you,Charlie?

老兄你还真是什么都不明白对吧查理?

No.

不明白

But it seems to be working for me.

不过似乎对我很管用

Morning.

早上好

Regular or decaf?

一般咖啡还是低咖啡因的?

-Regular. -Thank God.

-一般的吧 -谢天谢地

Aren't you even curious?

你都不好奇吗?

-You went to Gloria's last night. -Yeah.

-你昨晚去歌罗瑞亚家了嘛 -是呀

I can fill in the blanks.

其他就不言自明了

We're getting killed.

我们输惨了

We're here for fun,right? Nobody wins or loses.

我们是来玩的对吧? 不分输赢的

Come on. Somebody always loses.

得了吧有人老输

Who are we kidding?

我们要骗谁呀?

It's 8-1 out there,and everybody here knows it.

已经是8比1了，大家都心知肚明

And you know,I'll tell you another thing.

知道吗我还要说一件事儿

We haven't won a game all season.

我们这季都没有赢过

And I'll put that in the newsletter.

而且我会把它写入简报的

And as God as my witness,

老天作证

there will be a newsletter!

简报一定会有的!

Dad,you're kind of freaking everybody out here.

老爸你吓到大家了

Forget it,Jake. It's Sherman Oaks.

别管他杰克这里是雪曼橡树区

好汉两个半 第一季 Two and a Half Men Season 1 第5集: The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump

台词

好汉两个半第一季 Two and a Half Men Season 1 第5集: The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump