all right,just a few more feet. And...
here we are,gentlemen,the gates of elzebob.
准备好 先生们 Elzebob大门到了
Don't panic. This is what the last 97 hours have been about.
Stay frosty. There's a horde of armed goblins
on the other side of that gate guarding the sword of asaroth.
Warriors,unsheathe your weapons. Magic wielders,raise your wands.
战士们 拔出你们的武器 法师们 举起你们的魔杖
Raj,blow the gates.
Control Shift... Control,shift...
oh,my god,so many goblins!
Don't just stand there,slash and move,slash and move!
别傻站在那里 向前开路! 向前开路!
Leonard,you got one on your tail.
That's all right,my tail's prehensile- - I'll swat him off.
没事 我脑后长眼着呢 我会干掉他的
I got him,leonard.
Tonight I spice my mead with goblin blood.
Raj,no,it's a trap! They're flanking us!
Raj 不要 这是个陷阱! 他们在夹击我们!
Sheldon,he's got raj. Use your sleep spell!
Sheldon 他打中Raj了 快用你的催眠咒!
Sheldon Sheldon? Sheldon... sheldon?
I've got the sword of asaroth!
Forget the sword,sheldon,help raj!
别管剑了 Sheldon 快救Raj!
There is no more sheldon.
I am the sword master!
Damn it,man,we're dying here!
Good - bye,peasants!
the bastard teleported!
He's selling the sword of asaroth on ebay.
You betrayed us for money? Who are you?
I'm a rogue night elf. Don't you people read character descriptions?
Wait,wait,wait! Somebody just clicked "buy it now.
" I am the sword master!
Our whole universe was in a hot,dense state
♪ 宇宙是个大火炉 ♪
then nearly 14 billion years go expansion started... wait!
♪ 140亿年前大爆炸 哦稍等 ♪
The earth began to cool the autotrophs began to drool,
♪ 地球开始冷却 生物开始繁衍 ♪
neanderthals developed tools
we built the wall
♪ 我们建造墙瓦 ♪
we built the pyramids
♪ 我们创造金字塔 数学 科学 历史 ♪
math, science,history, unraveling the mystery
♪ 揭露奥秘 ♪
that all started with a big bang bang!
♪ 就从宇宙大爆炸开始! ♪
THE BIG BANG THEORY Season 01 Episode 03
By aBu 201705
天才也性感 第一季 第3集
Ooh,I'm all sweaty. Anybody want to log on to second life and go swimming?
哦 我身上都是汗 谁想再进入游个泳?
I just built a virtual pool.
No. I can't look at you or your avatar right now.
sounds like your neighbor's home.
Don't forget the mail you took accidentally on purpose
so you'd have an excuse to talk to her.
噢 对 对
Stealing snail mail, very old school. I like it.
偷窃信箱邮件 很老套的方法 我喜欢
Penny,the mailman,did it again... he... oh,sorry.
Penny 邮差又... 哦 抱歉
Um,oh,hi,leonard. This is doug.
嗨 Leonard 这是Doug
Doug,this is my neighbor leonard.
Is everything okay?
Yeah,no,I just... I got your mail again. Here.
是啊 我只是... 我又错拿了你的信 给你
Thank you. I've got to talk to that mailman.
Oh,no,that's probably not such a good idea.
You know,civil servants have a documented propensity to,you know,snap,so...
okay. Well,thank you again.
Oh,and bye... bro.
Penny for your thoughts.
I'm fine. Penny's fine.
The guy she's kissing is really fine.
Kissing? What kind of kissing? Cheeks, lips, chase, French?
接吻 哪一种? 脸颊? 嘴唇? 情人? 朋友?
What is wrong with you?
Please don't tell me that your hopeless infatuation is devolving into pointless jealousy.
I'm not jealous. I'm just a little concerned for her.
I didn't like the look of the guy that she was with.
Because he looks better than you?
He was kind of dreamy.
Well,at least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted,
olsmdering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her
and analyze the data so that you don't crash into geek mountain again.
I disagree. Love is not a sprint. It's a marathon.
我反对 爱情不是短跑 而是马拉松
a relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms...
or hits you with the pepper spray.
No,I'm done with penny.
I'm going to be more realistic and go after someone my own speed.
I don't know... olivia geiger.
不知道... Olivia Geiger
The dietician at the cafeteria with the limp and the lazy eye?
Oh,I don't think you have a shot there.
I have noticed that leslie winkle recently started shaving her legs.
我注意到Leslie Winkle 最近在刮她的腿毛
Now given that winter is coming,
one can only assume she's signaling sexual availability.
I don't know. You guys work in the same lab.
There are pitfalls. Trust me,I know.
这有隐患 相信我 我清楚
When it comes to sexual harassment law,I'm a bit of a self taught expert.
Look,howard,if I were to ask leslie winkle out,it would just be for dinner.
Howard 如果我要约Leslie Winkle出去 也只是吃顿饭
I'm not going to walk into the lab,ask her to strip naked and dance for me.
Oh,then you're probably okay.
Leslie,I would like to propose an experiment...
- goggles,leonard. - Right.
- 戴上眼镜 Leonard - 好吧
Leslie,I would like p toropose an experiment.
I'm trying to see how long it takes a 500 - kilowatt oxygen iodine laser
to heat up my cup a' noodles.
I've done it. About two seconds. 2. 6 for minestrone.
我试过 大概2秒 蔬菜汤花2.6秒
anyway,I was thinking more of a bio- social exploration with a neuro- chemical overlay.
总之 我在考虑来个生物学的社交探索 结合神经化学方面的专家知识
Wait,are you asking me out?
I was going to characterize it as the modification of our colleague- slash- friendship paradigm
with the addition of a date like component,
but we don't need to quibble over terminology.
What sort of experiment would you propose?
There's a generally accepted pattern in this area.
I would pick you up,take you to a restaurant.
Then we would see a movie,
probably a romantic comedy featuring the talents of hugh grant or sandra bullock.
And would you agree that the primary way we would evaluate either the success or failure of the date would be based
on the biochemical reaction during the good night kiss?
Heart rate,pheromones,etc. Yes.
心跳率 生化信息素等等 的确
Why don't we just stipulate that the date goes well and move to the key variable?
You mean kiss you now?
Can you define the parameters of the kiss?
Close - mouthed but romantic. Mint?
shall I count down from three?
No,I think it needs to be spontaneous.
What do you think?
You proposed the experiment. I think you should present your findings first.
On the plus side,it was a good kiss.
Reasonable technique,no extraneous spittle.
On the other hand,no arousal.
- None? - None.
- 没感觉? - 没有
Well,thank you for your time.
Sheldon,if you were a robot,and I knew and you didn'T... ...
Sheldon 如果你是机器人 我知道但你自己不知道...
would you want me to tell you?
When I learn that I'm a robot...
will I be able to handle it?
Maybe- - although the history of science fiction is not on your side.
也许吧 虽然历来的科幻小说 都不能苟同这点
Okay,uh,let me ask you this- -
when I learn that I'm a robot,
would I be bound by asimov's three laws of robotics?
You might be bound by them right now.
Have you ever harmed a human being
or through inaction allowed a human being to come to harm?
Have you ever harmed yourself or allowed yourself to be harmed except in cases
where a human being would have been endangered?
I smell robot.
Hey,what's going on?
Internet's been down for half an hour.
Also,sheldon may be a robot.
So how'd it go with leslie?
Oh,we tried kissing,but the earth didn't move.
哦 我们试着接吻 但地球没转
I mean,any more than the 383 miles that it was going to move anyway.
Oh,I've seen that look before.
This is just going to be two weeks of moping
and tedious emo songs
and calling me to come down to pet stores to look at cats.
I don't know if I can take it.
You could power down.
Well,as usual,wolowitz has the solution.
I happen to know a place where there are plenty of eligible women
and leonard could have his pick.
remember the latin hips.
Shoulders stay still,and... we sway.
一 二 三...
I think mrs. Tishman's got her eye on you.
I've been there. You're in for a treat.
She said,"you don't know me"
"you don't even care"
She said,"you don't know me"
"you don't wear my chains"
oh,yeah. God,that's a good song.
"哦 耶" 天啊 这歌真棒
If you're compiling a mix cd for a double suicide.
Oh,I hope that scratching post is for you.
I know what you're thinking. I've taken your asthma into account.
There's a feline geneticist in san diego
who's developed the cutest little hypoallergenic calicos.
Leonard,listen to me...
I've been thinking about names.
I'm kind of torn between einstein,newton and sergeant fuzzy boots.
Leonard,do you really think you can satisfy your need
for a relationshh witip a genetically altered cat?
If it's a cute,little,cuddly cat.
Oh,come on. Leonard...
this is obviously about penny.
The woman's not interested in me. The woman rejected me.
Okay,look,I think that you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with penny
as the hubble telescope does of discovering at the center of every black hole is a little man
with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.
I do feel obligated to point out to you that she did not reject you.
You did not ask her out.
I didn't ask her out. I should ask her out.
No,no,now that was not my point.
My point was don't buy a cat.
No,but you're right.
I should march over there and ask her out.
Oh,goody,we're getting a cat.
Good afternoon,penny. So,hi... hey.
下午好 Penny 嗨 你好
I was wondering if you had plans for dinner.
Uh,you mean dinner tonight?
There is an inherent ambiguity in the word "dinner.
" Technically it refers to the largest meal of the day whenever it's consumed.
So to clarify here,by dinner I mean supper.
- Supper? - Or dinner.
- 晚饭? - 就是吃饭啦
I was thinking 6:30 if you can go. Or a different time.
如果你有空 6点半行吗? 或者其他你方便的时间
Yeah,I like hanging out with you guys.
Yeah,you know,sheldon,howard,raj. Who all's coming?
对 Sheldon Howard Raj 他们都一起吧?
They... might all be there.
Or a subset of them might be there.
Algebraically speaking,there are too many unknowns.
For example,sheldon had quiznos for lunch.
Sometimes he finds that filling,other times he doesn'T.
It's no fault of quiznos- - they have a varied menu.
Okay,whatever. It sounds like fun.
好吧 无所谓啦 听起来挺有意思的
Great. Did we say a time?
- And that's still good for you? - It's fine.
- 你确定那时有空? - 对
- 'Cause it's not carved in stone. - No,6:30's great.
- 不是刻在石板上非得那时去哦 - 6点半正好
I'll get my chisel.
To... carve the... I'll see you at 6:30.
Could you be more specific?
Can you tell I'm perspiring a little?
The dark crescent shaped patterns under your arms conceal it nicely.
What time is your date?
Perfect. That gives you two hours and 15 minutes for
that dense molecular cloud of aramis to dissipate.
Not if you're a rugby team.
By the way,if it should ever come up,you didn't join us
because you stuffed yourself with a chicken carbonara sub at quiznos.
Why would I join you?
Oh,you know what,maybe this isn't such a good idea.
Oh,no,well,now there's always the possibility that alcohol and poor judgment
on her part might lead to a nice romantic evening.
You're right. Alcohol,poor judgment- - it could go well.
你说的对 酒 糊涂 今晚有可能会顺利的
Of course there is the other possibility,
that this date kicks off a rather unpleasant six months
of the two of you passing awkwardly in the hall,
until one of you breaks down and moves to another zip code.
You could've stopped at "it could go well.
" If I could've,I would've.
I mean,I'm a perfectly nice guy.
There's no reason we couldn't go to the restaurant,and have a lovely dinner,
maybe take a walk afterwards,talk about things we have in common.
You love pottery? I love pottery!
There's a pause,we both know what's happening.
I lean in,we kiss.
It's a little tentative at first,but then I realize she's kissing me back.
She's biting my lower lip! She wants me!
This thing is going the distance! We're going to have sex!
Is the sex starting now?
I'm having a panic attack.
Oh,okay. Uh,well then... calm down.
If I could calm down,I wobe having a panic att... that's why they call it a panic attack.
如果我能冷静 就不会恐慌了! 不然这怎么叫做恐慌症发作!
All right,all right. Uh,s- s- sit down.
Yeah,sit down. Now close your eyes.
- Why? - Just do it.
- 为什么? - 照做吧!
Now try to increase your alpha wave activity.
It's a biofeedback technique.
It's relaxation through brain wave manipulation.
I read a paper about it in journal of american neuroscience.
It was a little sparsely sourced,but I think the basic science is valid.
I probably have it here somewher E.
Who am I kidding? I can't go through with this.
You need to call her and cancel.
- What should I tell her? - I don't know.
- 我要跟她说什么? - 我不知道
- Tell her I'm sick. - Okay.
- 跟她说我病了 - 好
Not the kind of illness that will make her want to come over and take care of me,
but nothing so critical that she'll feel uncomfortable going out with me in the future
if I want to try this again.
So I'm assuming nothing venereal?
I'll just tell her that you had a routine conoloscopy and haven't quite bounced back.
I thought you wanted to cancel.
I can't,because if I don't show up she'll still be expecting you.
不行 如果我不出现 她还是会认为你会去的
Why would she be expecting me?
Stop asking me all these questions. I need to take another shower.
So are the rest of the guys meeting us here?
It turns out that raj and howard had to work,and sheldon...
had a colonoscopy and he hasn't quite bounced back yet.
Oh,my uncle just had a colonoscopy.
You're kidding. Then that's something we have in common.
We both have people in our lives who...
want to nip intestinal polyps in the bud.
so what's new in the world of physics?
Well,with the exception of string theory, not much has happened since the 1930s.
And you can't prove string theory.
At best you can say,"hey,look,
my idea has an internal logical consistency.
Well,I'm sure things will pick up.
What's new at the cheesecake factory?
We do have a chocolate key lime that's moving pretty well.
What about your,uh...
Doug? Oh,yeah,I don't know.
I mean,you know,he's nice and funny,but...
can I get you started with some drinks?
- You were saying? But... - I'd like a drink.
- 你刚刚说到? 但是... - 我想喝点东西
Just say the "but" thing about doug and then I'll get her back.
Okay,well,I don't know,it's just me.
I'm still getting over this breakup with kurt
and this thing with doug would stju be rebound sex.
Oh,don't get me started on rebound sex.
It's just... it's my pattern.
I break up,then I find some cute guy,
and then it's just 36 meaningless hours of...
I'm not sure that I do.
is that one 36-hour experience,
or is that 36 hours spread out over,say...
one glorious summer?
No,it's usually over a weekend,
and trust me,you do not feel good after it.
Of course,yeah,emotional chafing.
Hey,do you want to see something cool?
I can make this olive go into this glass without touching it.
- How? - Physics.
- 怎么弄啊? - 物理原理
Actually,it's centripetal force,
which is an inward force generated by the glass acting on the olive...
If you were riding on the olive,
you'd be in a non - inertial reference frame and would...
Did you spill ketchup?
- No. - I'm not okay.
- 没 - 那有事了
Are you sure you don't want to go to the emergency room?
No,no,I'm okay. It stopped bleeding.
I know,but you did throw up. Isn't that a sign of a concussion?
Yes. But I get car sick,too,so...
对 但我也晕车 所以...
Sorry about your car,by the way.
Oh,no,it's fine. You got most of it out the window.
The poor guy on the bike.
Well,I had a nice time.
- Leonard? - Ahye?
- Leonard? - 啊?
Was this supposed to be a date?
This was just you and me hanging out with a bunch of guys
who didn't show up 'cause of work and a colonoscopy.
Okay,I was just checking.
When I take a girl on a date- - and I do- -
she knows she's been dated.
粗体黑字 下划线 (在强调会让对方意识到是约会= =)
I think I might have a little concussion. I'm gonna go lie down.
So,how was your date?
Score one for liquor and poor judgment.