All right, I'm moving my infantry division...
...augmented by a battalion of orcs from Lord of the Rings.
We flank the Tennessee volunteers and the North once again wins the Battle of Gettysburg.
Not so fast. Remember, the South still has two infantry divisions. Plus Superman and Godzilla.
没这么容易 南方还有两个步兵师 再加上超人和哥斯拉
No, no, no. Orcs are magic. Superman is vulnerable to magic.
you already lost Godzilla to the Illinois Cavalry and Hulk.
Why don't you just have Robert E. Lee charge the line
with Shiva and Ganesh?
-You guys ready to order? -Hang on,honey.
- 可以点餐了吗? - 稍等 宝贝
the Hindu gods,against the entire Union army?
Ganesh is the Remover of Obstacles and Shiva is the Destroyer.
When the smoke clears,Abraham Lincoln will be speaking Hindi and drinking mint juleps.
当硝烟散尽 林肯将会说印第语 喝南方的薄荷饮料
All right,my boss says you have to either order or leave and never come back.
What do you recommend for someone who worked up a man-sized appetite
from a morning of weight training and cardio funk?
I'll take the Heart Smart platter.
All right,thank you,and Sheldon?
好 谢谢你 Sheldon呢?
We don't eat here.
I don't know what's good.
Just get a hamburger.
You like hamburgers.
I like the hamburgers where we usually have hamburgers.
You can't make the assumption that I'll like the hamburgers here.
Give him a hamburger.
All right,which one?
The Classic Burger,the Ranch House Burger,
the Barbecue Burger,or the Kobe Burger?
Can't we just go to Big Boy?
They only have one burger... the Big Boy.
Well,the Barbecue Burger is like the Big Boy.
Excuse me, in a world that already includes a Big Boy
why would I settle for something like a Big Boy?
Because you're not at Big Boy!
Fine,I'll have the Barbecue Burger.
Waitresses don't yell at you at Big Boy.
- 嘿 Leonard - 你们好
I didn't know you ate here. We don't.
- 不知道你们会来这里吃饭 - 确实不会
This is a disturbing aberration.
Leslie,this is Penny.
She lives across the hall from Sheldon and me.
And walks in quiet beauty like the night.
她走在美的光彩中 像夜晚 (诗人拜伦的名句)
Howard,I've asked you not to do that.
Howard 我已经说了 别这样
Leslie and I do research together at the university.
Oh,wow,a girl scientist.
Yep,come for the breasts,stay for the brains.
So,I'm glad I ran into you.
The Physics Department string quartet needs a new cellist.
What happened to Elliot Wong?
He switched over to high-energy radiation research
had a little mishap,and now the other guys are uncomfortable sitting next to him.
Great,we rehearse on Tuesdays at your place.
Why at my place?
Yeah,Department of Energy said our regular space is kind of a hot zone.
Leonard,I didn't know you played the cello.
Yeah,my parents felt that naming me Leonard
and putting me in Advanced Placement classes wasn't getting me beaten up enough.
If you're into music, I happen to be a human beatbox.
I'm actually not that into music.
So,hey,your friend's really cute. Anything going on with you two?
What,are you kidding? He asked her out once.
- 怎么可能? - 他约过她一次
It was an embarrassing failure.
Was that supposed to be a secret?
Aw,that's too bad.
You guys'd make a cute couple.
She didn't take my order.
How can she take your order
when you're too neurotic to talk to her?
Nevertheless,this will be reflected in her tip.
What did Penny mean,"You'd make a cute couple?"
Well,I assume she meant the two of you together would constitute a couple
that others might consider cute.
An alternate and somewhat less likely interpretation
is that you could manufacture one.
As in,"Oh,look,Leonard and Leslie made Mr.and Mrs.Goldfarb.Aren't they adorable?"
例如 "快看 Leonard和Leslie所生的 Goldfarb夫妻 是不是很可爱?"
If Penny didn't know that Leslie had turned me down,
then it would unambiguously mean that she,Penny,thought I should ask her,Leslie,out
indicating that she,Penny, had no interest in me asking her,Penny,out.
But,because she did know that I had asked Leslie out
and that she,Leslie,had turned me down, then she,Penny,could be offering consolation.
"That's too bad, you would have made a cute couple..."
"真可惜 你们本来 可以做一对甜蜜情侣..."
but while thinking:"Good, Leonard remains available."
并且暗想 "很好 Leonard还是单身"
You're a lucky man,Leonard.
You're talking to one of the three men
in the western hemisphere capable of following that train of thought.
Well,what do you think?
I said I could follow it. I didn't say I care.
Our whole universe was in a hot,dense state
♪ 宇宙是个大火炉 ♪
Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait!
♪ 140亿年前大爆炸 哦稍等 ♪
The Earth began to cool
♪ 地球开始冷却 生物开始繁衍 ♪
The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools
We built the Wall We built the pyramids
♪ 我们建造墙瓦 ♪
Math,Science,History,unraveling the mystery
♪ 我们创造金字塔 数学 科学 历史 ♪
That all started with a big bang
♪ 揭露奥秘 ♪
By aBu 201705
天才也性感 第一季 第5集
I admire your fingering.
Maybe sometime you can try that on my instrument.
Good night,guys. Good job. Thanks.
- 晚安兄弟 练得不错 - 谢谢
That was fun,Leslie. Thanks for including me.
挺好玩的 Leslie 多谢你叫上我
If you're up for it
we could practice that middle section again.
Just so we're clear,you understand that me hanging back to practice with you
is a pretext for letting you know that I'm sexually available.
Yeah,I'm good to go.
I thought you weren't interested in me.
That was before I saw you handling that beautiful piece of wood between your legs.
You mean my cello?
No,I mean the obvious,crude,double entendre.
What can I say? I'm a passionate and impulsive woman.
Is it the waitress?
I thought I saw your pupils dilate when you looked at her.
Which,unless you're a heroin addict, points to sexual attraction.
Well,I did have a poppy seed bagel for breakfast.
Which could cause a positive urine test for opiates
but certainly not dilate my pupils.
So I guess there was no point in bringing it up.
You and the waitress then.
There's nothing going on between Penny and me.
So you're open to a sexual relationship?
Yeah,yeah,I guess I am.
Yeah,it is. It is good.
Did you want to start now?
Why don't we finish the section first?
A little musical foreplay. Terrific.
I'm g-good to go. Me,too.
- 我准备好了 - 我也是
Oh,hey,Sheldon. What's going on?
I need your opinion on a matter of semiotics.
Semiotics. The study of signs and symbols.
It's a branch of philosophy related to linguistics.
Okay,sweetie, I know you think you're explaing yourself
but you're really not.
Oh,come on,you went to college.
a tie on the doorknob usually means someone doesn't want to be disturbed
because,they're... you know,gettin' busy.
So you're saying Leonard has a girl in there?
Well,either that or he's lost his tie rack and gotten really into Bryan Adams.
不然就是他丢了衣架 还疯狂地喜欢上了Bryan Adams
Oh,Leonard,you magnificent beast.
We really shouldn't be standing here.
This is very awkward.
Oh,come on,Leonard's had girls over before,right?
Oh,yes,but there's usually planning, courtship,advance notice...
有的 但通常要计划 求爱 提前通知...
Last time,I was able to book a cruise to the Arctic to see a solar eclipse.
You had to leave the state because your roommate was having sex?
The dates just happened to coincide.
So,do you know who's in there?
Leonard Well,there's Leonard.
And he's either with Leslie Winkle or a 1930s gangster.
跟他在一起的不是Leslie Winkle 就是30年代的黑帮
Good for Leonard.
I don't know what the protocol is here.
Do I stay? Do I leave?
Do I wait to greet them with a refreshing beverage?
Gee,Sheldon,you're asking the wrong girl.
I'm usually on the other side of the tie.
I just... I wanted you to know I saw the tie.
Give my best to Leslie.
Someone touched my board.
Leonard! Leonard! Leonard! Leonard!
Hey,what's the matter?
My equations,someone's tampered with my equations.
Are you sure? Of course I'm sure.
- 你确定? - 很确定!
Look at the beta function of quantum chromodynamics.
The sign's been changed.
But doesn't that fix the problem you've been having?
Are you insane? Are you out of your mind?
Are you... hey,look.
That fixes the problem I've been having.
Yeah,I noticed it when I got up to get a glass of water.
So I fixed it and now you can show that quarks are asymptotically free at high energies.
我改了 这样就能证明夸克 在高能状态下是渐进自由的
Listen,I've got to get to the lab.
Thanks for a great night.
Thank you. I'll see you at work.
Who told you you could touch my board?
Yeah,I don't come into your house and touch your board.
There are no incorrect equations on my board.
I'm sorry,I've got to run.
If you come up with an adjective,text me.
That is the adjective,"inconsiderate. "
You can stare at your board all day,Sheldon.
She's still going to be right.
I'm not staring, I'm mulling.
- 嘿 Leonard - 嗨
I'd think you were doing very good.
Pretty,very... there's really no objective scale for delineating variations of "good. "
"还" "很"... 描述"好"的变化程度 并没有客观的范围
Well,a little bird told me that you and Leslie hooked up last night.
So,is it serious? Do you like her?
Th-th-that's really two different questions.
Sheldon,we have to go!
Boy,you're wound awfully tight for a man who's just had sexual intercourse.
All right,well,I'll talk to you later, but I am so happy for you,Leonard.
迟些找你吧 真为你高兴 Leonard
What did she mean she's happy for me?
Is she happy that I'm seeing someone?
Or is she happy because she thinks that I'm happy?
Because anyone who cared for someone would want them to be happy.
Even if the reason for their happiness made the first person unhappy.
Because the second person,though happy,
is now romantically unavailable to the first person.
Do you realize I may have to share a Nobel Prize with your booty call?
I'm being ridiculous.
Who cares what Penny thinks?
Leslie is a terrific girl.
We like each other.
She's extremely intelligent...
She's not that intelligent.
She fixed your equation.
She got lucky. You don't believe in luck.
- 那是走运 - 你根本不相信运气这种事
I don't have to believe in it for her to be lucky.
Regardless,I have a chance at a real relationship with Leslie.
I'm not going to pass that up for some
hypothetical future of happiness with a woman
who may or may not want me to be happy,
with a woman who is currently making me happy.
- Leonard... - 啊?
I still don't care.
- 嗨 Leslie - 小心 Leonard
Liquid nitrogen,320 degrees below zero.
Why are smashing a flash-frozen bana?
Because I got a bowl of Cheerios and I couldn't find a knife. Oh.
Uh,what are you doing?
Just extending the intimacy.
Hey,do you want to slip over to the radiation lab and share a decontamination shower?
Okay,uh,what exactly do you think's going on between us?
I'm not sure,but I think I'm about to discover how the bana felt.
不知道 不过我可能就要 知道那香蕉什么感觉了
Listen,Leonard,neither of us are neuroscientists, but we both understand the biochemistry of sex.
Leonard 我们都不是神经学家 但是都了解性的生物化学原理
I mean,dopamine in our brains is released across synapses,causing pleasure.
You stick electrodes in a rat's brain, give him an orgasm button,
he'll push that thing until he starves to death.
Well,the only difference between us and the rat
is that you can't stick an electrode in our hypothalamus.
That's where you come in.
Yeah,well,I'm just glad to be a part of it.
So what happens now?
Well,I don't know about your sex drive, but I'm probably good till New Year's.
Oh. Okay. Thank you.
You want to make plans for New Year's?
Whoa,Leonard,please. You're smothering me.
Leonard 拜托了 你逼得我喘不过气来
The blogosphere is a-buzzin'with news of you
and Leslie Winkle makingeine kleine bang-bangmusik.
What? How did it get on the Internet?
Well,how did you know about it?
A little bird told us.
Apparently,you are a magnificent beast.
You know, I think I may have misjudged this restaurant.
I don't want to go out on a limb,
but I think we may be looking at my new Tuesday hamburger.
Your old Tuesday hamburger will be so brokenhearted.
I was thinking of moving Big Boy to Thursdays,
and just dropping Souplantation.
The name always confused me anyway.
You can't grow soup.
You'll be happy to know that I plan to come here every Tuesday night
for the foreseeable future.
Who do I speak to about permanently reserving this table?
Um... I don't know... a psychiatrist?
how are things with you and Leslie?
Oh,to be honest, I don't think it's going to work out.
Oh. Oh,that's too bad.
I'm sure there's someone out there who's just right for you.
What did she mean by that?!
Was that just a generic platitude,
or was that a subtle bid for attention?
You know why this hamburger surpasses the Big Boy?
This is a single-decker hamburger, whereas the Big Boy is a double-decker.
This has a much more satisfying meat-to-bun-to-condiment ratio.
这个汉堡的肉 面包和调料的比例 更令人满意
Are you even listening to me?
Of course,I'm listening.
Blah,blah,hopeless Penny delusion,blah,blah,blah.
You know,you can grow the ingredients for soup.