- I'm sorry. - Oh, my God. That's it.
- 抱歉 - 天啊 我受够了
You just barge in here and you don't knock?
You have no respect for anybody's privacy.
- Rachel, wait. - No, you wait.
- 瑞秋 你等一下 - 不 你等一下
- Can I just say one thing? - What? What?
- 我能说一件事吗？ - 什么事？
That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your...
- ...nippular area. - Ugh!
- 你的两点 - 噢
Honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient...
...who thinks things are other things.
Like when the phone rings and she takes a shower...
That's pretty much it.
But you tell it really well, sweetie.
Now go away so we can talk about you.
Okay. I'll miss you.
He's so cute. And he likes you so much.
He's so sweet. And so complicated, you know?
And for a shrink, he's not too "shrinky." You know?
So you think you'll do it on his couch?
Oh. I don't know. That's a little weird.
- Okay. You guys want anything else? - Oh, yes.
- 好 大家还想要别的东西吗？ - 是的
- Could I have...? - Sorry, we're all out.
- 要 我要… - 抱歉 卖完了
- Anybody else? - Okay.
- 其他人呢？ - 好的
Did I, uh, miss something?
No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies.
What were you doing seeing her boobies?
I wasn't across the street with a telescope and a box of doughnuts.
Can we change the subject, please?
Because, hello? These aren't her "boobies." These are her breasts.
没错 因为那不是她的乳房 而是她的胸部
Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change.
I don't know why you're embarrassed. They were very nice boobies.
They were "nice"?
That's it? I mean, mittens are "nice."
Okay. Rock, hard place...
He's really funny.
I wouldn't want to be there when the laughter stops.
Whoa, whoa. Back up there, sparky.
What did you mean by that?
It seems that maybe you have intimacy issues...
...that you use your humor to keep people at a distance.
I mean, hey, I just met you. I don't know you from Adam.
我是说 我才刚认识你 我也从来没听说过你
Only child, right?
Parents divorced before you hit puberty.
Uh-huh. How did you know?
You all know my dad, right?
- How long are you in the city? - A couple of days.
- 打算在纽约待多久？ - 就几天
I got a job midtown.
I figure I'm better off staying with the kid...
...than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry.
I don't know this one.
- Oh. This is my friend Roger. - Hi.
- 他是我朋友罗杰 - 嗨
- Good to meet you. - You too.
- 幸会 罗杰 - 彼此彼此
What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?
- Dad, uh... - Oh, oh.
- 爸 - 噢
So, Ross, uh, how's the wife?
Oh for two, huh? Heh.
Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny.
钱德 快点 说点好笑的
Gotta go. Ha, ha. I miss you too.
I love you, but it's getting late now...
Let me say hi. Hey, Ma.
让我向她打声招呼 嘿 妈妈
Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bassida and...
Did you know this isn't Ma?
She's a pet mortician.
So how long have you been...
Remember when you were a kid, I'd take you to the Navy yard...
...and show you the big ships?
- Since then? - No, it's only been six years.
- 从那时候就开始了？ - 没有 才六年
I wanted to give you a nice memory...
...so you'd know I wasn't always such a terrible guy.
Joe, have you ever been in love?
- You're burning your tomatoes. - Hmm. You're one to talk.
- 你的蕃茄烧焦了 - 你还好意思说我
Joe, your dad's in love, bigtime.
And the worst part is, it's with two different women.
Oh, man. Please tell me one of them is Ma.
天啊 拜托你告诉我 其中一个是妈妈
Of course one of them's Ma. What's the matter with you?
It's like if you woke up one day and found out...
...your dad was leading this double life.
He's, like, actually some spy working for the CIA.
I know. Why can't parents just stay parents?
Why do they have to become people?
Why do they have...?
...can't you stop staring at my breasts?
Didn't you get a good enough look the other day?
All right, we're all adults here.
There's only one way to resolve this.
Since you saw her boobies...
...I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your pee-pee.
You know, I don't see that happening.
Come on. He's right. Tit for tat.
快点 他说得没错 以眼还眼
Well I'm not showing you my tat.
- It's Phoebe. - And Rog.
- 是菲比 - 还有罗杰
Oh, good. Rog is here.
- What's the matter with Rog? - Nothing. It's a little thing.
- 罗杰怎么了？ - 没什么 小事
What? So he was a little analytical. That's what he does.
Come on, he's not that bad.
That's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her...
...if I thought on any level that she was a lesbian?
Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail.
- Ha, ha. - Why? Why would I? Why?
- 哈 - 为什么？我为什么会这么做？
I don't know. Maybe low self-esteem?
Maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling. Maybe...
Wait. Go back to that "sibling" thing.
Well, I don't know.
It's conceivable that you sabotaged your marriage...
...so the sibling would be less of a failure in the parents' eyes.
That's ridiculous. I don't feel guilty for her failures.
这太荒谬了 她不成才 我一点都不会感到内疚
- Oh, so you think I'm a failure? - Isn't he good?
- 你认为我不成才？ - 他不错吧？
Yeah. No. That's not what I was saying.
All these years, I thought you were on my side...
...but maybe you were sucking up to Mom and Dad...
...so they'd favor you.
Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good.
嘿 我娶女同志 是想让你看起来更好
I mean, you're right.
It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace...
...and the Weeble's Cruise Ship...
...which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in.
That's tough, tough stuff.
Pheebs, if we're gonna catch that movie, we gotta go.
菲比 我们现在该走了 不然就赶不上电影了
Okay. Feel better, okay?
- We're gonna be late, sweetie. - Okay.
- 菲比 我们快来不及了 甜心 - 好的
- Listen, thanks for everything, Mon. - No problem.
- 谢谢你做的一切 摩妮卡 - 不客气
It was great seeing you again.
Mon, uh, easy on those cookies, okay?
Remember, they're just food...
Good night, you guys.
Oh, look. It's the woman we ordered.
Hey. Can, uh... Can we help you?
Oh. No, thanks. I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani.
不用 谢谢 我在等乔伊•崔比亚尼
I'm Joey Tribbiani.
Oh. Oh, no, not you. Big Joey.
喔 不是你 是老乔伊
You're so much cuter than your pictures.
Uh, Joey's having an embolism...
...but I'd go for a Nip.
You see, most people, when their pets pass on...
...they want them laid out like they're sleeping.
But occasionally you get a person who wants them in a pose.
Like, uh, chasing their tail.
Or, uh, jumping to catch a Frisbee.
Joey, if I go first, I want to be looking for my keys.
乔伊 如果我先走一步 我的姿势要像找钥匙一样
- That's a good one. - Hey, Joe.
- 好好笑 - 嗨 乔
Hey, Dad. Ronni's here.
嗨 爸爸 罗妮来了
What are...? What are you doing here?
Oh, uh, you left your hair at my apartment.
I figured you'd need it for your meeting.
So who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?
I shouldn't have come.
I gotta go. I'll miss the last train.
No, I don't want you taking that thing this late.
- Where am I gonna stay? Here? - Whoa.
- 那我要睡哪里？这里吗？ - 哇
We'll go to a hotel.
- No, you won't. - No, we won't.
- 不行 - 不行
If you go to a hotel, you'll be doing stuff.
I want you right here, where I can keep an eye on you.
You're gonna keep an eye on us?
That's right, mister.
I don't care how old you are, while you're here...
...you're gonna live by my rules.
And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Dad, you'll be in my room.
Ronni, uh, you can stay in Chandler's room.
Thanks. You're a good kid.
Come on. I'll show you to my room.
That sounds weird when it's not followed by, "No, thanks, it's late."
感觉真奇怪你没说 "不 谢了 时候不早了"
Okay. This is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta change.
好 只有今晚而已 明天你就得做出改变
- Six years is long enough. - What kind of change?
- 六年时间可不短 - 什么改变？
- Break up with Ronni... - I can't.
- 和罗妮分手 - 我不能
Then come clean with Ma. This is not right.
I don't wanna hear it. Now go to my room.
- What are you doing? - Trying to get comfortable.
- 你在干什么？ - 想让自己舒服一点
- I can't sleep in my underwear. - Well, you're gonna.
- 穿着内裤我睡不着 - 你非穿不可
I've been thinking...
...about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls.
Are they end-to-end, or tall, like pancakes?
You know what I mean. How I date all these women.
I always figured, when the right one comes along...
...I'll be able to be a standup guy and go the distance, you know?
Now I'm looking at my Dad thinking...
You're not him, you're you.
When they wanted you to go into your father's business, did you cave?
You decided to go into the out-of-work-actor business.
That wasn't easy, but you did it.
And I believe that when the right woman comes along...
...you'll have the guts to say:
"No thanks, I'm married."
You really think so?
Yeah. I really do.
- Thanks, Chandler. - Get off.
- 谢谢 钱德 - 滚开
Uh, Joey said I could use your shower since, uh, Chandler's in ours.
Okay. Who are you?
- Oh, uh, I'm Ronni. Ronni Rapalono. - Uh-huh.
- 我叫罗妮 罗妮•罗普拉诺 - 哦
- Um, come on in. - Thanks.
- 请进 - 谢谢
Hi, I'm Rachel. Bathroom's up there.
How long has Chandler been in the shower?
Oh. Like, uh, five minutes.
Fasten your seat belts...
...it's pee-pee time.
Hey. Good morning, dear.
嘿 早安 亲爱的
Chandler Bing, it's time to see your thing.
- What's the matter with you? - I thought it was Chandler.
- 你是怎么搞的？ - 我以为你是钱德
You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing.
Sorry, my thing was in there with me.
- Hey. - Hey, Pheebs.
- 嘿 - 菲比
- How's it going? - Good. Oh, oh.
- 还好吧？ - 不错
Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite you guys.
- So, what's going on? - Nothing.
- 怎么了？ - 没事
It's just that, uh...
Um, ahem, I don't know. There's something about... Ahem.
Basically, we just feel that he's, uh...
We're sorry, Pheebs.
Don't you think maybe it's just that he's so perceptive...
...that it freaked you out?
- No, I hate him. - No, we hate him.
- 不 我讨厌他 - 不 我们讨厌他…
Ma. What are you doing here?
I came to give you this...
- ...and this. - Ow.
- 还有这一巴掌 - 哇
Why did you fill your father's head with that garbage...
...about making things right?
Things were fine the way they were.
There's chicken in there. Put it away.
For God's sake, Joey. Really.
拜托 乔伊 真的
Hold on. You knew?
Of course I knew. What do you think?
Your father is no James Bond.
You should have heard his cover stories.
"I'm sleeping over at my accountant's."
I mean, what is that? Please.
So then, how could you...?
Do you remember how your father used to be?
Always yelling. Nothing made him happy.
Not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle.
I mean, it's nice. He has a hobby.
Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but...
妈妈 我无意冒犯 但是…
...what the hell are you talking about?
- I mean, what about you? - Me? I'm fine.
- 我是说 那你怎么办？ - 我很好啊
...in an ideal world...
...there'd be no her and your father would look like Sting.
And I'll tell you something else:
Ever since that poodle-stuffer came along...
...he's been so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive.
He's been more loving.
It's like every day is our anniversary.
I'm happy for you?
Because now everything's screwed up.
I just want it the way it was.
I just did what I thought you'd want.
I know you did, cookie. Oh, I know you did.
我知道 亲爱的 我知道
You're 10 times prettier than she is.
Could I take her?
With this ring, no contest.
- What's wrong, sweetie? - Nothing.
- 怎么了 甜心？ - 没事
No, no. What's wrong? Come on.
It's nothing. I'm fine.
It's just, um... It's my friends.
They have a liking problem with you...
...they don't see all of the wonderfulness that I see.
They don't see all the good stuff and all the sweet stuff.
They think you're a little...
- What? - Intense and creepy.
- 什么？ - 执着的恐怖
But I don't. Me. Phoebe.
Well, I'm not at all surprised they feel that way.
You're not? See, that's why you're so great.
Actually, it's quite typical behavior...
...when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic.
You know, this kind of codependent...
...sitting in your stupid coffeehouse, with your stupid big cups...
...which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them.
And you're all like, "Oh, define me. Define me.
你们都会说 "噢 定义我的性格 定义我的性格"
Love me. I need love."
So you talked to your dad, huh?
Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on Ma, like she wanted.
对 他要以我妈妈希望的方式 继续对我妈妈劈腿
Ma's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does.
And my sister Tina can't see her husband anymore...
...because he got a restraining order.
Which has nothing to do with it, except that I found out today.
Things sure have changed here on Walton's mountain.
So, Joey, are you okay?
It's just... You know, they're parents.
After a certain point, you gotta let go.
Even if you know better...
...you gotta let them make their own mistakes.
...in a couple years, we get to turn into them.
If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond...
...chasing after 20-year-old boys...
...or I'll end up like my mom.
- Hey. - Hey, Pheebs.
- 嗨 - 嗨 菲比
Okay, except I broke up with Roger.
No, no, really. Aw.
- What happened? - Ugh. I don't know. I mean...
- 怎么了？ - 我说不上来 我是说…
He's a good person...
...and he can be really sweet.
And in some ways, I think he is so right for me.
It's just, I hate that guy.
Hey, Joey. What's going on?
Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express.
Next stop, Rachel Green.
Joey, what the hell were you doing?
Sorry, wrong boobies.