This is unbelievable. It's been half an hour.
If this was a cartoon, you'd be looking like a ham right about now.
There's the waitress. Excuse me, miss.
- Hello, miss? - It's Phoebe.
- 小姐？ - 是菲比
Okay, will that be all?
Wait, wait. What are you doing here?
Yeah, um, I was over there...
...then you said, "Excuse me, miss." So now I'm here.
No, no. How come you're working here?
Right. Because it's close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
对 因为离我住处近 而且围裙很可爱
Can we start over?
- Yeah. Okay, great. I'll be over here. - No, no, no, no.
- 好 很好 我回那边去 - 不 不…
I don't know whether he's testing me or just acting out...
...but my monkey is out of control.
He keeps erasing the messages on my machine.
Supposedly by accident.
Oh, yeah, I've done that.
And three days in a row, he got to the newspaper before I did...
...and peed all over the crossword.
I've never done that.
Now tell me she doesn't look exactly like her sister.
I'm saying I see a difference.
I don't care. Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's hot.
不在乎 菲比是菲比 乌苏拉很辣
You know that thing when we talk about things?
- Let's not do that anymore. - Okay.
- 不要再做了如何 - 好
Hey, Pheebs. Guess who we saw today.
- Um, Liam Neeson. - No.
- 连姆•尼森 - 不是
- Morley Safer. - Nope.
- 莫利•萨佛 - 不是
- The woman who cuts my hair. - No.
- 我的发型师 - 不
Look, this could be a really long game.
Your sister, Ursula.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
- 真的吗？ - 真的
She works at that place, uh...
Riff's. Yeah, I know.
Oh, you do? She said you guys haven't talked in years.
So, um, is she fat?
Not from where I was standing.
Where were you standing?
Uh, Pheebs, so you guys just don't get along?
It's mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know?
Everyone always thought of her as the pretty one.
Oh. Oh. She was the first to walk...
...even though I did it later that same day.
To my parents, by then it was, "Yeah, what else is new?"
Pheebs, I'm sorry. I've gotta go. I've got Lamaze class.
菲比 真抱歉 我要走了 我要上无痛分娩课
Oh, and I've got earth science, but I'll catch you in gym?
So is this just gonna be you and Carol?
No. Susan will be there too.
We've got dads. We've got lesbians. The whole parenting team.
老爸 女同志 家长成员都到了
Well, isn't that gonna be weird?
No. It might have been at first...
...but now I'm comfortable with the situation.
- Ross, that's my jacket. - I know.
- 罗斯 那是我的外套 - 我知道
Hi. We're the Rostens.
I'm J.C. And he's Michael.
And we're having a boy and a girl.
Good for you. Alrighty, next?
Hi. Um, I'm, uh... Ahem.
And, uh, that's my boy in there.
And, uh, this is Carol Willick, and this is Susan Bunch.
Susan is, um, Carol's...
I'm sorry, Susan is?
- Susan is Carol's friend. - Life partner.
- 苏珊是卡萝的朋友 - 是终生伴侣
You know how close women can get.
- Susan and I live together. - I was married to her.
- 苏珊跟我住一起 - 不过跟她结婚的是我
- Carol. Not me. - It's a little complicated.
- 是卡萝 不是我 - 有点复杂
- But we're fine. - Absolutely.
- 但我们相安无事 - 没错
That's like two births.
To you too, Helen.
Nina Bookbinder is here to see you.
Oh. Okay, send her in.
- Hi, Nina. Come on in. - You wanted to see me?
- 请进 - 你找我？
Uh, yes. Uh, I was just going over your data.
You've been postdating your Friday numbers.
Which is bad, because?
- Well, it throws my WENUS out of whack. - Ha, ha.
- 这有损我的周网量 - 哈哈
- Weekly Estimated... - Oh, Net Usage Statistics.
- 每周预估… - 网路用量系统
Right. Gotcha, gotcha.
Won't happen again. I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt your...
It's not just that she's cute, okay? It's just that...
...she's really, really cute.
It doesn't matter. You don't dip your pen in the company ink.
Your little creature's got the remote again.
Marcel. Marcel, give Rossy the remote.
Marcel, you give Rossy the remote right now.
You give Rossy the remote...
- Great. - Relax. I'll fix it.
- 好极了 - 别紧张 我会搞定
Oh, cool. Urkel in Spanish is Urkel.
好耶 厄寇 西班牙文版也叫厄寇
How did he do this?
So tell me, is leaving the Christmas lights up...
...part of your plan to keep us merry all year long?
No, someone was supposed to take them down around New Year's...
...but obviously someone forgot.
Well, someone was supposed to write:
"Rach, take down the lights," and put it on the refrigera...
How long has that been there?
Hey, where you been?
I went back to Riff's. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee.
瑞夫餐馆 乌苏拉好像喜欢我 我只点咖啡
She brought me a tuna melt and four plates of curly fries.
Listen, okay, before you do anything Joey-like...
...you might want to run it by, uh...
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- 真的？ - 对啊
- Pheebs? - Yeah?
- 菲比？ - 是
Would it be okay if I asked out your sister?
Why? Why would you want to do that? Why?
So that if we went out on a date, she'd be there.
Well, I mean, I'm not my sister's, you know...
喔 我是说 我姐姐不归我…
...whatever. And, um...
I mean, it's true, we were one egg once.
But, you know, we've grown apart, so, um...
I don't know. Why not?
Do you wanna watch Laverne y Shirley?
Sorry I'm late. Uh, where's Carol?
抱歉 我迟到了 卡萝呢？
Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing.
You can go. I'll get the information.
No, no, ahem, I think I should stay. We should both know what's going on.
不 我应该留下来 我们俩都应该上课
Alrighty. We're gonna start with some basic third-stage breathing exercises.
Mommies, get on your back.
And, coaches, you should be supporting Mommy's head.
- What? - What?
- 什么？ - 什么？
I'm supposed to be the mommy?
Okay, I'm gonna play my sperm card one more time.
好吧 我只好再强调一遍 精子可是出自我喔
I don't see why I have to miss out on the coaching training because I'm a woman.
我搞不懂为什么 就因为我是女人 就不能当教练
I see. So, what do you propose to do?
- I'll flip you for it. - Flip me for it? No, no, no.
- 来投硬币决定吧 - 投硬币？不…
Heads, heads, heads.
On your back, Mom.
All right, mommies, take a nice, deep, cleansing breath.
好吧 各位妈妈 深呼吸 好好的伸展吐气
Now imagine your vagina is opening...
Mr. Dee. How's it going, sir?
Uh, it's been better.
The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in.
- And? - It's pretty ugly.
- 然后呢？ - 很难看
We haven't seen an ANUS this bad since the '70s.
- So, what does this mean? - We're gonna be laying off people.
- 这代表何意？ - 不得不裁员了
Listen, I know I came in late last week. I slept funny and my hair was snarly.
我知道上周我迟到了 但我睡得不好 头发很乱
Ever have to fire anyone?
Uh, listen, the reason that I called you in here today was, uh...
Please don't hate me.
Would you like to have dinner sometime?
So, Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday?
Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree & Evelyn?
- Bath salts would be nice. - Oh, okay. Good.
- 浴盐不赖 - 好 那就好
What is this place?
Look, you're cold, I have to pee, and there's coffee.
你说冷 我则想尿 窗户上有咖啡的图案
How bad could it be?
I think we have an answer.
What's she doing here?
This could be God's way of telling us to eat at home.
- Think she got fired at Riff's? - No, we were there last night.
- 她被瑞夫餐馆开除了吗？ - 昨晚我们去时…
She kept bringing swordfish. Are you gonna go?
I'll wait until we order. It's her, right?
等我们点餐再去 毕竟是跟她点 对吧？
- Um, excuse me? - Yeah?
- 抱歉 - 怎样？
Right. And it's me.
So you're here too?
As much as you are.
- We know what we want. - Oh, that's good.
- 我们想点餐了 - 很好
- All we want is two caffe lattes. - And some biscotti cookies.
- 两杯拿铁 - 一些饼干
- It's definitely her. - Yeah.
- 绝对是她没错 - 对
I can't believe you.
You still haven't told that girl she doesn't have a job yet?
Well, you still haven't taken down the Christmas lights.
Congratulations. I think you found the world's thinnest argument.
I'm just trying to find the right moment.
Oh, well, that shouldn't be so hard, now that you're dating.
"Sweetheart, you're fired. But how about a quickie before I go to work?"
"亲爱的 你被开除了 不过上班前我们快快来一下如何"
Once you're inside, you don't have to knock anymore.
Oh. Hi, Mr. Heckles.
You're doing it again.
We're not doing anything.
We're just sitting around talking quietly.
I can hear you through the ceiling.
My cats can't sleep.
You don't even have cats.
I could have cats.
Goodbye, Mr. Heckles.
We'll try to keep it down.
Phoebe, can you do me a favor?
Try this on to make sure it fits.
Oh, my first birthday present. Oh, this is really...
Oh, no, no. It's for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
不是啦 这是送乌苏拉的 但我想你们一样身材
- Are you seeing her again tonight? - Yep, Ice Capades.
- 你又要约她了吗？ - 对 冰上嘉年华
Wow, this is serious.
I've never known you to pay money for any kind of capade.
I don't know. I like her.
She's different. There's, uh, something about her...
That you like. We get it. You like her. Great.
让你迷上她 懂了 你喜欢她 很好
Hey, Phoebe, I asked you, and you said it was okay.
菲比 我事先问过你 你说没意见的啊
Well, maybe now it's not okay.
Well, maybe now I'm not okay with it not being okay.
Knit, good woman. Knit. Knit.
快织 好女人 快织
And that's the Chrysler Building right there.
- Nina. - Mr. Douglas.
- 妮娜 - 道格拉斯先生
Didn't I memo you on this?
See, after I let her go, uh, I got a call from her psychiatrist, Dr. Flanen...
我开除她后 她的心理医师 法兰医师
...Dr. Flanan, Dr. Flan.
And, uh, he informed me that she took the news rather badly.
In fact, he, uh, mentioned the word "frenzy."
You're kidding. She seems so...
Oh, no, no. Nina? She's:
In fact, if you asked her now...
...she'd have no recollection of being fired at all.
And yet believable.
So I decided not to fire her again...
...until I'm sure she will be of no threat to herself or others.
I see. Hmm. You never really know what's going on inside a person's head.
好吧 人对事情的反应 真的很难预料
Well, I guess that's why they call it psychology, sir.
For this, after all, is the miracle of birth.
And that's having a baby.
Next week is our final class.
It's impossible. It's just impossible.
What that woman...
I am not doing that. Heh.
It'll have to stay in, that's all. Everything will be the same.
- It'll just stay in. Ha, ha. - Carol, honey. Shh.
- 只要不生出来 - 卡萝 亲爱的
- Everything will be all right. - What do you know?
- 会一切顺利的 - 你懂个屁
No one's saying to you, "Hi, is that your nostril?
Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
I know it's frightening. But big picture:
The birth part is just one day...
...and when it's over, we'll all be parents for the rest of our lives.
I mean, that's what this is all about, right?
I'm gonna be a father.
- This is just occurring to you? - I always knew I was having a baby.
- 你现在才想到吗？ - 我是知道会有个孩子
I just never realized the baby was having me.
Oh, you're gonna be great.
How could you say that?
I can't even get Marcel to stop eating the bathmat.
How will I raise a kid?
You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying...
...that monkeys and babies are actually different.
- Where are you going? - Out.
- 去哪？ - 出去
All right, can I just ask you one question?
Have you two, you know, like, you know?
Well, not that it's any of your business...
...but no, we haven't, okay?
You meant sex, right?
- Do you have a sec? - Uh, sure, Nina. What's up?
- 有空吧？ - 有 妮娜 怎么了？
I don't know. For the past couple days, people have been avoiding me...
不知道 过去几天 大家都躲着我
...and giving me these really strange looks.
Oh, well, uh, maybe that's because...
...they're, uh, jealous of us.
But that doesn't explain why they keep taking my scissors.
Uh, well, maybe that's, uh, because you're getting a big raise.
- I am? - Sure. Why not?
- 有吗？ - 当然 有可能啊
Oh, my God. You're amazing.
Helen, make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinder's raise.
海伦 请记得布克邦德小姐加薪的事 文件要弄好
Still want her psychological profile sent to personnel?
- What? - Helen drinks.
- 什么？ - 海伦有酗酒问题
Will you marry me?
- Well, I ended up telling her everything. - Ooh. How'd she take it?
- 最后我全盘托出 - 她反应如何？
Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing.
Little tip. If you're ever in a similar situation...
...never, ever leave your hand on the desk.
Okay, I think I get how to do this.
Can we turn this off? Can we make them go away?
Because I can't watch.
- Okay, Pheebs, they're gone. - Okay.
- 好了 菲比 关掉了 - 好
- Are you all right? - Yeah.
- 你还好吗？ - 很好
It's just, you know, this whole stupid Ursula thing.
对 就是… 乌苏拉那事
Okay, Pheebs, can I ask?
So he's going out with her. Is it really so terrible?
I mean, I'm not saying she's evil or anything.
She's just, you know, always breaking my stuff.
When I was 8, I wouldn't let her have my Judy Jetson Thermos...
...so she threw it under the bus.
And then there's Randy Brown...
Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Well, but that's what he was for me.
And she, you know, kind of stole him away...
...and then broke his heart.
And then he wouldn't even talk to me anymore.
He didn't want to be around anything that looked like either one of us.
I mean, I know Joey's not my boyfriend or my Thermos...
...or anything, but...
- You won't lose him. - You gotta talk to Joey.
- 你不会失去他的 - 你要跟他谈开来
Come on. He doesn't know this stuff. If he knew how you felt...
He's falling in love with her.
Oh, please. They've been going out a week.
They haven't even slept together yet. I mean, that's not serious.
Yeah, um, may we help you?
Rachel, what are you doing? It's freezing. Would you come inside?
瑞秋 你干嘛啦？好冷喔 你到里头来好吗？
You wanted me to take them down...
...so I'm taking them down, okay?
I'm okay. I'm okay.
Mr. Heckles, could you help me, please?
See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about.