- Hi, guys. - Hey, Phoebe.
- 大家好 - 菲比
Hey, oh, how did it go?
He walked me to the subway and said, "We should do this again."
他送我到地铁站 并且说 "我们该再这么做"
- Ouch. - What? He said, "We should do it again."
- 哎呦 - 什么？他说 "我们该再这么做"
That's good, right?
Uh, no. Loosely translated, "We should do this again," means:
不 简单地翻译 "我们该再这么做" 是指
"You will never see me naked."
Since always. It's, like, dating language.
You know, like, "It's not you," means, "It is you."
"那与你无关" 意思是 "全都是你的错"
"You're such a nice guy," means:
"I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics...
...and complaining about them to you."
Or, you know, um, "I think we should see other people," means:
"Ha, ha, I already am."
And everybody knows this?
Oh, yeah. Cushions the blow.
Like when you're a kid and your parents put your dog to sleep...
...and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.
That's funny. No, because, uh, our parents actually did...
那真的很好笑 不 因为我们的爸妈真的…
...uh, send our dog off to live on a farm.
Ha, ha. Hello. The Milner's farm in Connecticut?
The Milners, they had this unbelievable farm.
They had horses and rabbits that he could chase.
Oh, my God. Chi-Chi.
"So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?"
Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over.
But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die.
- Hey, that was really good. - Yeah?
- 那真的很不错 - 是吗？
- Yeah. - Thanks. Let's keep going.
- 对 - 谢了 继续吧
Okay. "So, what do you want from me, Dimon? Huh?"
I just wanna go back to my cell, because in my cell, I can smoke.
我只想回我的牢房 因为在我的牢房里 我能抽烟
I think this is probably why Dimon smokes in his cell alone.
- What? - Relax your hand.
- 什么？ - 手放轻松
- Not so much. - Whoa.
- 别垂得那么低 - 噢
All right. Now try taking a puff.
- Okay, no, give it to me. - No, no, no. I'm not giving you a cigarette.
- 好吧 不 快给我 - 不 我才不要给你烟
No, it's fine. It's fine. Look, do you want to get this part or not? Here.
没关系的 听着 你要不要这个角色？来吧
All right. Now, don't think of it as a cigarette.
Think of it as the thing that has been missing from your hand.
When you're holding it, you feel right.
- You feel complete. - You miss it?
- 你觉得圆满 - 你想念它吗？
All right. Now we smoke.
They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb...
...to the tip of his index finger.
Can I use either thumb?
All right. Don't tell me, don't tell me.
Decaf cappuccino for Joey.
- I'm getting pretty good at this. - Excellent. That's very good.
- 我真的很厉害 - 太好了 非常不错
- You okay, Phoebe? - Yeah, no, it's not even worth...
- 你还好吧 菲比？ - 对 不 那根本不值得…
What did they do to you?
It's nothing, it's just... Okay.
没事 只不过… 好的
I'm going through my mail, and I open up their monthly "statement."
And there's 500 extra dollars in my account.
Oh, Satan's minions at work again.
Yes, because now I have to go down there and deal with them...
- What are you talking about? Keep it. - It's not mine.
- 你干嘛要说呢？留下那笔钱 - 那不是我的钱
I didn't earn it. If I kept it, it would be like stealing.
Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping.
对 把它花掉 可以享受血拼乐趣
Let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes.
Do you know what I'd hear with every step I took?
"Not mine. Not mine. Not mine."
And even if I was happy, okay, and skipping...
...I'd hear, "Not mine. Not mine."
We're with you. We got it.
Okay, I'd never be able to enjoy it. It'd be like this giant karmic debt.
好吧 我无法享受乐趣 那是一大道德考验
Chandler, what are you doing? Hey.
What are you doing?
- What is this? - I'm smoking. I'm smoking. I'm smoking.
- 这是怎么意回事？ - 我在抽烟
I can't believe you. You've been so good for three years.
And this is my reward.
Hold on a second. Just think about what you went through the last time you quit.
Okay, so this time I won't quit.
- Put it out. - All right. I'm putting it out.
- 把烟熄了 - 好吧 我熄了就是
I can't drink this now.
All right, I'm gonna go change. I've got a date.
好吧 我要去换衣服 我有约会
Is this Alan again? How's it going?
It's going pretty good, you know? It's nice and we're having fun.
非常不错 你们知道吗 我们相处既愉快又开心
- So when do we get to meet the guy? - Yeah.
- 我们何时能见到这家伙？ - 对
Let's see, today's Monday...
- Never. - Come on.
- 永远不可能 - 少来了
- No, not after what happened with Steve. - What are you talking about?
- 不 在史提夫后是不可能了 - 你在胡说什么？
We love Steve. Steve was sexy.
Look, I don't know how I feel about him yet. Give me a chance to figure it out.
Well, then can we meet him?
Why should I let them meet him?
I bring a guy home and within five minutes they're all over him.
I mean, they're like coyotes picking off the weak members of the herd.
Listen, as someone who's seen more than her share of bad beef...
...I'll tell you, that is not such a terrible thing.
Come on, they're your friends. They're looking out after you.
I know, I know. I wish that once I'd bring a guy home they actually liked.
Well, you do realize that the odds of that happening are a little slimmer...
...if they never get to meet the guy.
Yeah? Well, you didn't know Chi-Chi.
Do you all promise?
- Yeah, we promise. We'll be good. - We promise.
- 对 我们保证 我们会很乖的 - 我们保证
Chandler, do you promise to be good?
You can come in, but your filter tip little buddy has to stay outside.
"Dear Ms. Buffay: Thank you for calling attention to our error.
We have credited your account $500. We're sorry for the inconvenience...
...and hope you'll accept this football phone...
...as our free gift." Do you believe this?
Now I have $1000 and a football phone.
What bank is this?
- Who is it? - Alan.
- 哪位？ - 亚伦
Chandler. He's here.
Okay, please be good. Please?
I mean, remember how much you like me.
Hi. Alan, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Alan.
亚伦 他们是我的朋友 各位 他是亚伦
I've heard so much about all you guys.
Thanks, I'll call you tomorrow.
Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin.
Who's gonna take the first shot?
Let's start with the way he kept picking at...
You know, I'm sorry, I can't do this.
Can't do it. We loved him.
- We loved him. - Wait a minute.
- 我们爱他 - 等一下
We're talking about someone that I'm going out with?
- Yes. - And did you notice?
- 对 - 你们注意到了吗？
Know what was great? The way his smile was kind of crooked.
Yes, yes. Like the man in the shoe.
From the nursery rhyme.
"There was a crooked man who had a crooked smile...
...who lived in a shoe for a while..."
...will become the yardstick...
...against which all future boyfriends will be measured.
What future boyfriends?
No, no. I think this could be, you know, "it."
- Really? - Oh, yeah.
- 真的吗？ - 对
I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhoff impression alone.
我会嫁给他 因为他的表情 跟大卫•赫索霍夫一样
You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right?
- You know what I like most about him? - What?
- 你们知道我最喜欢他哪一点吗？ - 什么？
The way he makes me feel about myself.
- We won! - We won! Thank you! Yeah.
- 我们赢了 - 我们赢了 谢谢 太棒了
Fantastic. I have one question: How is that possible?
太棒了 我有个问题 怎么可能呢？
- Alan. - He was unbelievable.
- 亚伦 - 他太不可思议了
He was like that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions.
But instead of Bugs, it was first base, Alan. Second base, Alan...
但他不是兔宝宝 一垒 亚伦 二垒 亚伦
I mean, it was like he made us into a team.
Yep. We sure showed those Hasidic jewelers...
- ...a thing or two about softball. - Nice.
- 知道我们多会打垒球 - 太棒了
Can I ask you guys a question?
Do you ever think that Alan is maybe sometimes...
- What? - I don't know. A little too Alan?
- 什么？ - 我不知道 有点太亚伦了
Oh, no. That's not possible. You can never be too Alan.
不 那是不可能的 他不可能会太亚伦
Yeah, it's his innate Alan-ness that we adore.
- I, personally, could have a gallon of Alan. - Oh!
- 我就蛮想有一加仑的亚伦 - 噢
- Hey, Lizzy. - Hey, Weird Girl.
- 莉兹 - 怪女孩
- I brought you alphabet soup. - Did you pick out the vowels?
- 我帮你买了字母汤 - 你把元音挑出来了吗？
Yes, but I left in the Y's. Because, you know, "Sometimes Y."
对 但我留下Y 因为 "有时候非￥不可"
Um, I also have something else for you.
No, but would you like $1000 and a football phone?
- Oh, my God. There's really money in here. - I know.
- 天啊 里面是真的钱 - 我知道
Weird Girl, what are you doing?
Oh, I want you to have it. I don't want it.
No, no. I have to give you something.
No, it's fine. You don't...
Do you want my tinfoil hat?
No, because you need that. No, it's okay. Thanks.
不 你需要它 没关系的 谢谢
Please. Let me do something.
Okay, all right. I'll tell you what.
You buy me a soda and then we're even. Okay?
你请我喝杯汽水 我们就扯平了 好吗？
- Okay. - Okay.
- 好的 - 好的
Sure you don't want a pretzel?
- No, I'm fine. Thanks. - See you.
- 不 我不饿 谢谢 - 再见
I know, I know. I opened it up and there it was...
...just floating in there, like this tiny little hitchhiker.
Maybe it's a contest, you know? Like "Collect all five."
Does, um, anyone wanna see?
- Oh, hey, don't do that. Come on. - Cut that out.
- 别那么做 少来了 - 别闹了
It's worse than the thumb.
Hey, this is so unfair.
- Why is it unfair? - So I have a flaw. Big deal.
- 为什么不公平？ - 我有个缺点 没什么大不了的
Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying?
And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word.
And Monica, with that snort when she laughs.
I mean, what the hell is that thing?
I accept all those flaws. Why can't you accept me for this?
Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody, or just him?
...I could live without it.
Well, is it, like, a little annoying? Or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?
Now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, all right? I think it's endearing.
不 别听他的 菲比 好吗？我觉得那很可爱
You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly.
Indeed there isn't.
I should really get back to work.
Yeah, otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered.
Oh. The hair comes out and the gloves come off.
Did you ever go out with a guy your friends all really like?
Okay. Well, I'm going out with a guy my friends all really like.
We talking about the coyotes here?
Heh. All right. A cow got through.
Can you believe it?
It's just, you know what?
I just don't feel the thing.
I mean, they feel the thing. I don't feel the thing.
Honey, you should always...
Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him.
听着 如果那是你对那家伙的感觉 摩妮卡 甩掉他
I know, it's just gonna be really hard.
Yeah, he's a big boy. He'll get over it.
对 他是大人了 他会释怀的
No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about.
不 他会没事的 我担心其他五个人
Do you have any respect for your body?
Don't you realize what you're doing to yourself?
Hey, you know, I've had it with you and your cancer...
...and your emphysema and your heart disease.
The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.
It's Alan. He wants to speak to you.
Hey, buddy. What's up?
Oh, she told you about that, huh?
Well, yeah. I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now.
对 我偶尔会抽 对 我正在抽
Well, it's not that bad...
Gee, you know, no one's ever put it like that before.
Well, okay. Thanks.
God, he's good.
If only he were a woman.
How old is that sock?
If I had a sock on my hand for 30 years, it'd be talking too.
Okay, I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch.
Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him.
Do you think that was wrong?
- I think he's across the hall. - Thanks.
- 我想他在对面 - 谢谢
Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now.
Hey, Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop Tart?
Does anyone want the rest of this Pop Tart?
You know, those stupid soda people gave me $7000 for the thumb.
- Oh, my God. - Seven thousand dollars?
- 天啊 - 七千块？
And on my way over here, I stepped in gum.
What is up with the universe?
Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together.
It's even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear.
- Uh, Joey... - Oh.
- 乔伊 - 噢
- Okay. - Oh, come on.
- 好了 - 别这样
Please, guys, we have to talk.
拜托 各位 我们得谈一谈
Wait, wait. I'm getting a déjà vu.
- All right, we have to talk. - There it is.
- 好吧 我们得谈一谈 - 这就对了
Okay, it's about Alan.
There's something you should know.
Oh, man, there's really no easy way to say this. Uh...
I've decided to break up with Alan.
Is there somebody else?
No, no, no. It's just...
...you know, things change. People change.
So that's it? It's over?
You know, you let your guard down.
You know, you start to really care about someone, and I just...
- Look, I could go on pretending... - Okay.
- 听着 我可以继续假装… - 好的
No. No, that wouldn't be fair to me...
...it wouldn't be fair to Alan, or to you.
Yeah, well, who wants fair?
I mean, I just want things back, you know, the way they were.
- I'm sorry. - Oh, she's sorry. I feel better.
- 我很抱歉 - 她觉得抱歉 我好过多了
I just can't believe this.
I mean, with the holidays coming up. I wanted him to meet my family.
I'll meet someone else. There'll be other Alans.
- Are you guys gonna be okay? - Hey, hey. We'll be fine.
- 你们没事吧？ - 我们会没事的
We're just gonna need a little time.
- I'm really sorry. - Yeah. I mean, I'm sorry too.
- 我真的很抱歉 - 对 我是说我也有点抱歉
But I gotta tell you, I'm a little relieved.
- Relieved? - Yeah, well...
- 松了一口气？ - 对
...I mean, I had a great time with you.
I just can't stand your friends.
Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?
Yeah. He could row like a Viking.
- You know. - Did he mention us?
- 你们知道的 - 他有提到我们吗？
He says he's really gonna miss you guys.
You had a rough day, huh?
- Oh, you have no idea. - Come here.
- 你才不会懂 - 过来
- That's it. I'm getting cigarettes. - No, no, no.
- 够了 我要抽烟 - 不…
I don't care. I don't care.
Game's over. I'm weak. I've gotta smoke. I've gotta have the smoke.
If you never smoke again, I'll give you $7000.