Oh, look, look! There's Joey's picture!
This is so exciting!
You can spot someone who's never seen his plays.
Notice, no fear. No sense of impending doom.
The exclamation point scares me.
It's not just Freud, it's Freud!
Shh. Magic is about to happen!
...we've done some excellent work here.
And I would have to say...
...your problem is quite clear.
All you want is a dinkle
What you envy's a schwang
A thing through which you can tinkle
To play with or simply let hang
Did anybody else feel like peeling their skin off...
...to have something else to do?
Is it? It feels like 2.
There's a beautiful woman at 8, 9, 10:00!
有个漂亮的女人 在八 九 十点钟方向
She makes the women I dream about look like short, fat, bald men.
Go over to her. She's not with anyone.
And what would my opening line be?
Come on, she's a person. You can do it.
别这样 她也是一个人 你办得到的
Could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up.
我根本配不上她 罗斯 你说对不对？
He could never get a woman like that in a million years.
But you always see these beautiful women with these "nothing" guys.
You could be one of those guys.
- You could do that. - You think?
- 可以啊 - 真的吗？
I can't believe I'm even considering this.
- I'm very aware of my tongue. - Come on.
- 我一向谨言慎行 - 快去
Okay, next word would be...
Chandler is my name and, uh...
Yes, you said that.
Yes! Yes, I did. But what I didn't say...
What I wanted to say was, uh...
...would you like to go out with me? Thank you. Good night.
- I didn't know you could dance! - You were in a play!
- 我不知道你会跳舞 - 你参与戏剧演出耶
What'd you think?
- I didn't know you could dance! - You were in a play!
- 我不知道你会跳舞 - 你参与戏剧演出耶
Come on, it wasn't that bad. I was the lead.
别这样 没那么糟吧 我至少是主角
It was better than the troll thing. At least you got to see my head.
- You're right. - We saw your head.
- 没错 - 我们有看到你的头
She said yes! She said yes!
Awful play, man! Whoa!
Her name's Aurora. She's Italian and she pronounces my name "Chandler."
她叫做欧若拉 是意大利人 说我的名字时超好听的
I like that better. The usher gave me this to give to you.
我喜欢那样的叫法 噢 引座员叫我把这个给你
- What is it? - The Estelle Leonard Talent Agency.
- 什么东西？ - 伊斯特•李奥纳德 经纪公司
An agency left me its card. Maybe they wanna sign me!
哇 有经纪公司给我名片 或许他们想跟我签约
Based on this play?
Based on this play!
No, because this line is passion, and this is just a line.
不 这条线是热情 这一条只是线而已
I've been here seven seconds, and you haven't asked me how my date went.
How was your date, Chandler?
It was unbelievable!
I've never met anyone like her. She's had the most amazing life!
She was in the Israeli army.
None of the bullets hit the engine block...
...so we made it to the border.
But just barely and I...
I've been talking about myself all night long. I'm sorry.
What about you? Tell me your stories.
All right, once...
...once I got on the subway, right?
And it was at night...
...and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn...
...just for the hell of it.
We talked till 2. It was this perfect evening.
Suddenly, we realized we were in Yemen.
I'm sorry, so "we" is?
"We" is me and Rick.
- Who's Rick? - Who's Rick?
- 谁是瑞克？ - 谁是瑞克？
- Oh, so you're divorced? - No.
- 噢 所以你离婚了？ - 没有
I'm sorry. So you're widowed? Hopefully?
No, I'm still married.
So how would your husband feel about you sitting here with me...
...sliding your foot so far up my leg...
...you can count the change in my pocket?
I imagine he'd be okay with you because he's okay with Ethan.
Ethan? There's an Ethan?
So, uh, what kind of relationship do you imagine us having...
...if you already have a husband and a boyfriend?
I suppose, mainly sexual.
I'm sorry it didn't work out.
What not work out? I'm seeing her again on Thursday.
Didn't you listen to the story?
How could you get involved with a woman like this?
太诡异了 你怎么可以 跟这样的女人交往？
I had trouble with it at first, but I get all the good stuff.
All the fun, all the talking, all the sex...
...and no responsibility.
This is every guy's fantasy!
That is not true. Ross, is this your fantasy?
才不是 罗斯 这是你的梦想吗？
You'd go out with someone else who's going out with someone else?
When I'm with a woman, I need to know...
...that I'm going out with more people than she is.
...monogamy can be a tricky concept.
I mean, anthropologically...
Fine. Now you'll never know.
We're kidding. Tell us.
- We wanna know. - Come on!
- 我们都想知道 - 说啦
All right. There's a theory put forth by Richard Leakey...
Are we greeting each other this way now? I like that.
Look! I cleaned!
I did the windows. I did the floors.
I used all the attachments on the vacuum except for that round one.
I don't know what it's for.
Nobody knows, and we're not supposed to ask.
What do you think?
- It's very clean. - Really, it looks great!
- 很干净 - 真的 很棒
Oh. Heh. I see you moved the green ottoman.
How did that happen?
I don't know. I thought it looked better there.
And also, it's an extra seat around the coffee table.
Yeah, it's interesting.
But you know what? Just for fun...
...let's see what it looked like in the old spot.
Well, it looks good there too.
嗯 放在这里 也很棒
Let's leave it there for a while.
I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman.
Thank God you didn't fan out the magazines.
She'll scratch your eyes out.
You guys, I am not that bad!
Remember, I lived with you?
You were a little, you know...
That is so unfair!
When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy.
拜托 我们小时候 你的破娃娃是唯一不破的
Okay, so I'm responsible. I'm organized.
好吧 我比较有责任心 有组织性
But, hey, I can be a kook!
All right, you madcap gal!
Try to imagine this.
The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away.
- Why not? - Because you're a kook!
- 为什么没有？ - 因为你很懒散
Instead, you wait until they send you a notice.
Okay, then you let me go grocery shopping...
...and I buy laundry detergent.
But it's not the one with the easy-pour spout.
Why would someone do that?
One might wonder.
A glass is on the table. There's no coaster.
It's a cold drink. It's a hot day.
Beads of condensation are inching their way closer to the wood...
It's true. Who am I?
Monica, you're Mom.
Okay, I'll be there.
That was my agent.
My agent has just gotten me a job in the new Al Pacino movie!
Can you believe this? Al Pacino!
This guy's why I became an actor.
"I'm out of order? You're out of order!
This whole courtroom's out of order!"
Seriously, what's the part?
"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!"
Come on. Seriously, Joey, what's the part?
快点说啦 乔伊 是什么角色？
You're, you're... What?
I'm his butt double, okay?
I play Al Pacino's butt.
All right? He goes into the shower, and then...
This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it and that's big!
Oh, no, it's terrific.
After all your years of struggling...
...you've finally been able to crack your way into show business.
Okay, fine. Make jokes, I don't care.
好吧 你们尽量开玩笑 我才不在乎
This is a big break for me!
You're right. It is.
So are you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
- I need to borrow some moisturizer. - For what?
- 我需要借点润肤霜 - 干嘛用的？
What do you think? Today's the big day!
Okay, go into the bathroom. Use whatever you want.
好 去厕所 想用什么都可以
Just don't ever tell me what you did in there.
- Joey's mom's on the phone. - He's in the bathroom.
- 乔伊的妈妈打来 - 他在厕所
- You don't wanna go in there! - Come on, we're roommates.
- 你不想进去的 - 拜托 我们是室友耶
Who is being loud?
Oh, that would be Monica.
Can I borrow some things? I wanna make Aurora breakfast.
You got the whole night, huh?
Well, I only have 20 minutes until Ethan, so...
对 我只有二十分钟 直到伊森…
Do I sense a bit of resentment?
No, no, no. No resentment. Believe me...
...it's worth it, okay?
In a relationship, you have these key moments...
...you'll remember for the rest of your life.
Well, every single second is like that with Aurora.
And I've just wasted 35 of them talking to you.
So, uh, Monica, can you help me with the door?
Um, Chandler, you know, the old Monica would remind you...
...to scrub that Teflon pan with a plastic brush.
But I'm not gonna do that.
Damn it! Hire the girl.
Okay, everybody ready?
Uh, listen, I just wanna thank you for this great opportunity.
听着 我只想谢谢你 给我这么好的机会
Right. Okay. Losing the robe!
Okay, and the robe is lost.
Everybody, I would like to get this in one take.
Butt guy, what are you doing?
No, that was clenching.
Well, the way I see it, the guy's upset here, you know?
His wife's dead, his brother's missing.
I think his butt would be angry here.
I think his butt would like to get the shot before lunch.
Once again, rolling. Water working.
And cut! What was that?
I was going for quiet desperation.
But if you have to ask...
God, I love these fingers.
No, actually, I meant my fingers.
Look at them. Look at how happy they are.
- Oh, my God, I'm late! - Oh, no, no, no.
- 天啊 我迟到了 - 不要…
- Don't go, don't go. - Okay, okay.
- 不要走 - 好
- I have to. - Look, she's leaving.
- 我真的得走 - 她要走了
I'm sorry. He'll be waiting for me.
I thought you talked to Rick.
Ethan? He gets the whole day with you!
I know there'll be many moments...
...when I'll regret asking the following question, but...
So you're not completely fulfilled by Rick, Ethan and myself?
你是说瑞克 伊森和我 无法满足你？
No, that's not exactly what I was...
Most women would kill...
...for three guys like us.
So, what do you want?
- You have me. - No, no. Just you.
- 你已经有我了 - 不 只是你
Lose the other guys.
Like, all of them?
Come on, we're great together. Why not?
别这样 我们在一起很开心 为什么不行？
Why can't we just have what we have now?
Why can't we just talk, laugh and make love...
...without feeling obligated to one another?
Up until tonight, I thought that's what you wanted too.
Well, part of me wants that...
...but it's like I'm two guys.
I mean, one guy's saying, "Shut up! This is great!"
其中一个说 "闭嘴 这样很棒"
But there's this other guy.
It's the guy who wells up every time the Grinch's heart...
...grows three sizes and breaks that measuring device.
He's saying, you know, "This is too hard. Get out, get out!"
他会说 "这太难了 快点脱身"
So which one of the two guys will you listen to?
I have to listen to both. They don't let each other finish.
Call me if you change your mind.
Sorry, the first guy runs the lips.
Look at it this way. You dumped her!
Right? I mean, this woman was...
...and beautiful, intelligent, unattainable...
又美丽 聪明 超难追…
Tell me why you did this again?
Aren't you the guy who plays the butt in the new Al Pacino movie?
No? What happened, big guy?
It felt like a "big guy" moment.
They said I acted too much with it.
I told everybody about this.
Everybody will be expecting to see me.
You know what? No one will be able to tell.
There's something so sweet...
...and disturbing about that.
I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years...
...and I finally get my shot, and I blow it!
Maybe this wasn't your shot.
I think when it's your shot, you know it's your shot.
Did it feel like your shot?
Hard to tell. I was naked.
I don't think this was your shot.
I don't even think you just get one shot.
I really believe big things are gonna happen for you. I do.
You've gotta keep thinking about the day that some kid will go...
..."I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!"
You think? That's so nice.
I'm sorry, Joey. I'm gonna go to bed, guys.
抱歉 乔伊 我要去睡觉了 各位
You're gonna leave your shoes out here?
Really? Just casually strewn about...
...in that reckless, haphazard manner?
It doesn't matter. I'll get them tomorrow. Or not!
无所谓 我明天再收拾 或者是改天
If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes.
I don't have to prove anything. I'm gonna go get them.
But then everyone will know.
Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back.