Stocks and bonds are moving higher...
Why are we watching the Business Channel?
Because the other day I saw there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it.
Sometimes it takes two or three hours before it comes up again.
有时我要等2 3个小时 才能看到它再出现
But when it does, it's exciting.
Hmm, okay, honey, you really need a job.
Dad says he knows someone you can call for an interview.
Right there! That's the third sign today. Right there.
就是这个 今天第三个征兆了 就是这个
On behalf of everyone, I'd just like to say, "Huh?"
No, you just said "dad." And everywhere I go today...
不是 因为你刚才说"老爸" 而且今天不论我去哪里
I keep getting signs telling me to go see my father.
Like when I was walking over here and I passed a buffet.
Which is my father's last name.
And they were serving franks...
which is his first name, minus the "s" at the end.
- Yes. - All right.
- 是的 - 没错
And there was a rotisserie with a spinning chicken.
His Indian name?
No. Because I chickened out the last time...
不 因为我上次 胆小如鸡 没有去见他…
when I tried to meet him. So coincidences? I don't think so.
- Very freaky. - Eerie.
- 很古怪 - 诡异
Who wants the last hamburger?
That's it. Now I have to go see him, ha, ha.
哦 够了 现在我一定要去见他
Old McDonald had a farm. My dad is a pharmacist.
∮ So no one told you life was gonna be this way ∮
∮ Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. ∮
上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘
∮ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ∮
∮ When it hasn't been your day, ∮
∮ your week, your month, or even your year ∮
∮ but I'll be there for you ∮
∮ When the rain starts to pour ∮
∮ I'll be there for you ∮
∮ Like I've been there before ∮
∮ I'll be there for you ∮
∮ 'Cause you're there for me too ∮
You wanna forget racquetball and hang out?
- Hey, you're in our seats. - Oh, sorry, we didn't know.
- 喂 你们坐了我们的位子 - 不好意思 我们不知道
Hey, we were sitting there.
Okay. There is one more way to say it.
- Who knows it? Ha, ha. - Ha, ha.
- 有人知道吗？ - 哈哈
- Is that supposed to be funny? - Actually, I was going for colorful.
- 你说这话是自以为幽默吗？ - 不 只是想说得生动一点
- What's with this guy? - What's with you?
- 这家伙是怎么回事？ - 你是怎么回事？
Uh, nothing. Nothing's with him.
Enjoy your coffee.
What just happened?
I just took your hat.
See, I can be funny too.
My joke is that I took your hat.
Can I have it back?
You know what? I think you're very funny.
Kudos on that hat joke. Ha, ha.
But come on, guys, just give him back the hat.
但是 兄弟 帽子还给他吧
Because it's a special hat.
He bought it because he was feeling down one day.
So he got the hat...
to cheer himself up, you know?
- Now, Chandler... - Stop talking. Stop talking now.
- 钱德他… - 别说了 不要再说了
Let me get this straight. You're stealing my hat?
You got a problem?
I just want to make sure we're on the same page.
How'd the interview go?
It was a '50s theme restaurant.
I'd have to cook in a costume and dance on the counter.
I was a sous-chef at Café des Artistes.
How can I take a job where I have to make Laverne-and-Curly Fries?
- Don't do it. - How can I not do it?
- 那就别去做啊 - 我怎么能不去做？
I have $127 in the bank.
Monica, relax. Go get a beer.
摩妮卡 放轻松 去拿瓶啤酒
I don't want a beer.
Who said it was for you?
What's the matter?
Some mean guys at the coffeehouse took my hat.
- No. - You're kidding.
- 不会吧 - 是在开玩笑吧
It was ridiculous. These guys were bullies.
We're grownups. This kind of stuff isn't supposed to happen anymore.
Oh, no, wait a minute. I have no one.
不对 等等 我身边一个人也没有
Let's go down there and get your hat back.
Forget it. It's probably stripped and sold for parts by now.
- Hey. I went up! - What?
- 嗨 我涨了 - 什么？
My stock, MEG, it went up two points.
Do you realize that if I'd invested my $127 in myself yesterday...
嗨 你们意识到如果昨天 我把127元投资到我身上
that I'd, like, have a lot more than that today.
You know what? I'm gonna do it.
- Do what? - Put all my money in me.
- 做什么？ - 把钱投资到我身上
You don't know a thing about the stock market.
What's to know? Buy, sell. High, low. Bears, bulls.
这有什么困难的？买呀卖的 高呀低的 空头多头…
Telephone number to the stock...
See? Didn't I tell you these pillows would be a good idea?
看吧 我就跟你说 带枕头来是个好主意
For the first time in my life, I'm gonna say, "Hi, birth father!"
这是我有生以来第一次要说 "你好 生父 "
- We love you. We're here for you. - Good luck.
- 我们爱你 我们支持你 - 对啊 祝你好运
Hey, Rach, you, uh, want some sandwich?
Oh, what is in that?
Olive loaf and ham spread. No mayo.
No, because mayo, that would make it gross.
当然不 因为美乃滋 会把这个弄得很恶心
Hey, hey... No, oh, oh, oh.
- Run, Phoebe, run. - No, no, doggy, please!
- 跑 菲比 快跑 - 小狗狗 别这样
I do so want to love all animals. Please, no. Back off!
我热爱所有的动物 别这样 放开我
- You got a bone? - Are you kidding?
- 去拿骨头？你有骨头吗？ - 开什么玩笑？
Look, kibbles! Bits, oh!
Get the hell off my leg, you yippity piece of crap!
老天 好吧 从我腿上滚开 你这个混帐东西
Okay. All right. We have a problem.
Why don't you take his trampoline?
Okay, here, I know what we can do.
这样吧 我知道怎么做了 好
Hey. Hey. Hey, no!
喂 喂 不行 喂
Okay, doggy, get the sandwich! Aah!
Go get the sandwich! Good doggy. Get the sandwich!
狗狗 吃吧 乖狗狗 吃三明治
The dog will lick himself but he will not touch your sandwich.
乔伊 那狗肯舔自己 却不碰你的三明治
What does that tell you?
- Lf he's not gonna eat it, I will. - Are you crazy?
- 他要是不吃的话 我还想吃呢 - 你疯了吗？
Pheebs, he's just a little dog. Aah!
- Hey. - What?
- 嘿 - 怎么了？
Do you have to be a Century 21 real-estate agent...
to get to wear those cool jackets?
Do you say this stuff to girls?
Hey, isn't that the guy who used to wear your hat?
And look where they're sitting.
You're joking, right? You guys just walked through the door.
- Maybe we didn't make it clear enough. - Yeah.
- 也许我们没跟他们说清楚 - 对
This couch belongs to us.
I'll tell you what, you call the couch...
好吧 这么办吧 你们叫这沙发…
and then we'll call the couch...
and we'll see who it comes to.
You know what I keep wondering? Why you two are still sitting here.
I have had enough of this, all right?
These guys are trying to take our seat.
Fellas, these guys were here first.
- Oh, sorry, didn't realize. - Ahem.
- 不好意思 没注意到 - 呃
Thank you, Gunther.
We didn't want to have to go and do that.
Well, pal, you didn't give me much of a choice.
- Don't play with his thing. - I know.
- 别玩他的东西 - 我知道
Let's take this outside.
"Let's take this outside"?
Who talks like that?
The guy who's about to kick your ass talks like that.
- You had to ask. - Yeah.
- 你一定要问 是吧？ - 真是的
Okay, okay, look. See...
the thing is, we're not gonna fight you guys.
You won't have to, so long as you never ever show your faces here again.
I think you played the Gunther card too soon.
Hey, Pheebs, I think you're good to go.
嗨 菲比 我想你现在能去了
I just think that this was a really bad sign.
Like the beast at the threshold.
It's just I have no family left, except for my grandmother.
But let's face it, she's not gonna be around forever.
Despite what she says.
And I have a sister who I've barely spoken to since we shared a womb.
我还有个妹妹 尽管我们分享过 同一个子宫 但我几乎不和她说话
I don't know. This is my real father...
and I want things to be, like, just right.
I completely understand.
Yeah, whatever you need.
Hey, you want to go home?
Okay, thanks. Sorry again.
好 多谢了 再一次 对不起呀
Uh, I'm guessing the threshold's clear now.
I want to buy five shares of SGJ. Now.
Come on, time is money, my friend!
快点 时间就是金钱 兄弟
"Time is money, my friend"?
You missed "Takes money to make money"...
and "Don't make me come down there and kick your Wall Street butt."
还有 "别逼我过去痛宰 你们这些华尔街浑蛋"
I made $17 before breakfast. What have you done?
I had breakfast here, so technically I saved $3.50.
我在这里吃的早餐 所以严格地说 我省了3块5
How did you make $17?
Well, my financially challenged friends...
I split my money and I bought some shares of CHP and ZXY.
Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Erik Estrada.
And ZXY because I think it sounds "zexy."
Ahem, what happened to MEG?
MEG was good for me, but I dumped her.
My motto is, "Get out before they go down."
你知道 我的座右铭是 "下跌之前滚开"
That is so not my motto.
- Hey. - Hey, Pheebs.
- 嘿 - 嘿 菲比
Oh, hey, how's the dog?
Okay. I talked to the vet. People are so nice upstate.
He said the little fella's gonna be okay, and I can get him tomorrow.
- Good. - Oh, thank God.
- 好极了 - 多谢老天爷
But he did have to have a bunch of stitches.
And he said that only once in a blue moon does a dog's ear grow back.
而且他说 狗的耳朵重新长出来 真的是千载难逢
Now are you gonna call your dad to let him know that his dog is okay?
菲比 现在你会打电话给你父亲 让他知道他的狗没事了吧？
I don't want to meet my father over the phone.
What will I say, "Hi, I'm the daughter you abandoned.
Oh, by the way, I broke your dog."
Hey, Pheebs, if you want, I'll do it.
菲比 如果你愿意 我来帮你打
Listen, just don't say anything about me, okay?
be too long with the phone.
She'll be a much better friend once the market closes.
Uh, hello, Mrs. Buffay.
I know where your dog is.
I want you to know he'll be returned to you almost as good as new...
within 24 hours.
- Why the voice? - Hard to say.
- 为什么是那种声音？ - 很难说
Your cappuccino, sir.
- This is better than the coffeehouse. - Absolutely.
- 我觉得这里比咖啡店好多了 - 绝对好多了
How come it's not mixing with the water?
The package says to keep it moving.
Stir and drink, never let it settle.
边搅边喝 边搅边喝 别停下来
This is ridiculous.
After I get back from my niece's christening...
I'll go to the coffeehouse with you and we'll have a cup of coffee.
No problem. Joey's there, hmm?
I don't want to have to have Joey with me every time I want decent coffee.
And I don't want to drink cappuccino with a "k."
I say you and I go and stand up to those guys.
我说 你和我下去 勇敢面对那些家伙
All right, hang on a second there, Custer.
Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?
- By someone besides Monica? - No.
- 被摩妮卡以外的人？ - 没有
So we get beaten up. Maybe that's something a man has to go through.
Like a rite of passage or something.
Couldn't we just lose our virginities again?
Because I think actually mine's growing back.
- I need $100. - What?
- 我要借一百块 - 什么？
- I need $100. - For what?
- 我要借一百块 - 为什么？
- To get back in the game. - When did you get out?
- 我要重新回到游戏之中 - 为什么？你什么时候退出游戏的？
- I lost it all, I lost it. - Oh, no.
- 我全赔了 赔光了 - 不会吧
I've come to terms with it, you have to too.
Look, uh, Mon, I'm really sorry.
Where are we on the $100?
Otherwise, I'll have to take that diner job.
You know, with the dancing and the costumes.
I don't want to have to wear flame-retardant boobs.
Nobody does, honey.
Oh, my God. What the hell happened to my dog?
And the woman who did this would never hurt a dog on purpose.
She's a vegetarian.
Are these stitches?
Yeah, eight of them. That's 56 to him, ha, ha.
是的 8针 他身上总共缝了56针
If it's raining, you can't let him look up too long...
另外 如果下雨 不能让他向上看太久
because that cone will fill up fast.
Well, uh, thanks for bringing back what's left of him.
- Is Frank home? - How do you know Frank?
- 法兰克在家吗？ - 你怎么会认识法兰克？
Just from a long time ago. Is he here?
呃 认识很久了 他在吗？
Oh, okay, um, I mean Frank Senior.
He went out for groceries.
Will he be back soon?
He left four years ago. We're expecting him back any minute.
I'm sorry about the dog. Everything.
关于狗的事 非常对不起 还有其他所有的事
- How do you know my dad? - Um, well, I don't really.
- 你怎么认识我爸的？ - 嗯 其实我不认识
He's kind of my dad too.
So, um, did he ever talk about me? Phoebe?
No, but he didn't really talk about anything.
- Stilts? - Yeah, he loved stilts.
- 高跷？ - 对 他喜欢踩高跷
One time, I was upstairs stealing cigarettes out of my mom's purse...
有一次我在楼上 从我妈的包包里面偷烟 然后…
and, uh, all of a sudden I look over...
and there's Dad's head, bobbing past the window.
He just had this big smile on his face and he was waving...
because he was happiest when he was on his stilts.
I don't know what to do with that.
- Me neither, ha, ha. - Ha, ha.
- 我也不知道 - 哈哈
- So are you, like, my big sister? - Yeah.
- 你就是我的姊姊罗？ - 对
This is huge. You can buy me beer, ha, ha.
- I'm not gonna. - Oh.
- 我不会买啤酒给你 - 噢
But you know what's cool? If you had a friend named Pete, I could say:
"I know Pete. He's friends with my brother."
- I got a friend named Mark. - That'll work too.
- 我有叫马克的朋友 - 那也行
So maybe, you know, I could give you a call sometime.
We could talk or something.
- Yeah, that'd be okay. - All right.
- 没问题 那没问题 - 好的
I'm in the book.
- Okay, yeah. - Okay, all right.
- 好 - 好的
So, um, stilts, huh?
If you want, I can show you where he hit his head on the rain gutter.
如果你愿意 我可以带你到后面 看他的脑袋是在哪里撞到排水槽的
We did it. We're here. We are standing our ground.
我们做到了 我们来到这里 挺立在我们的领地上
- How long does coffee take? - Would you come on? Come on!
- 弄杯咖啡要花这么长的时间？ - 你能不能快点 快点
- There we go. - I think we proved our point.
- 我们做到了 - 我想我们已经证明了我们的能力
- You burn your mouth? - Cannot feel my tongue.
- 你烫到嘴了？ - 感觉不到舌头了
Bullies! Big bullies!
Oh, look who's here. It's the weenies.
哦 瞧瞧谁在这儿 是小不点们
Did we not make ourselves clear the other day?
That's why we're here.
Yes, we're standing our ground.
- Let's do this already. - Whoa, whoa.
- 我们来吧 - 噢
You got a weapon?
A nice watch. I don't want to break it on your ribs.
All right, let's do this.
If I don't care about my watch, can I use it as a weapon?
我有问题 如果我不在乎我的手表 我能用来作为武器吗？
- What do you mean? - It's sharp, it's metal.
- 什么意思？ - 这很尖锐 是金属的
I think I can do some serious damage with it.
No, you can't use your watch.
- Or your keys. - Okay.
- 或者是钥匙 - 好吧
Here's what we'll do.
We'll put all keys and watches in the hat over there.
我们把所有的表 钥匙放在 这顶帽子里 帽子放到那边
- All right? - All right.
- 好吗？ - 好吧
All right, come on, man. Let's do it!
Before I forget, are we hitting faces?
Of course. Why wouldn't you hit faces?
I have to work on Monday. I have a big presentation.
Actually, I gotta show this apartment tomorrow...
and, uh, this no-faces thing might not be a bad idea.
Okay, nothing from the neck up.
- Dana's ovulating. - Oh, really? You guys trying again?
- 丹娜正在排卵期 - 真的吗？你们又在试了？
Let me get this straight. We're talking about the middle?
- Come on! - Hey, hey, whoa!
- 来呀 - 喂 喂
You want a piece of this? I'm standing here!
- Huh! - Hey, hey.
- 嗯 - 喂 喂
Those guys are taking our stuff!
God, that was amazing. That was incredible.
- You guys kicked butt! - Us? What about you guys?
- 你们狠狠揍了那家伙一下 - 我们？你们才厉害
You really, bing, gave it to old Mr. Clean back there.
- He was a big guy. - Yeah, he was, wasn't he?
- 那可是个大家伙 - 对 他是很大块 不是吗？
I wouldn't know, having missed everything.
Oh, don't do that to yourself.
Any one of us could have tripped over that little girl's jump rope.
So listen, guys, are we, uh?
Are we okay here?
- We're okay. - Ha, ha, all right.
- 我们没问题 - 哈哈 好吧
Okay, so can I have my hat back?
Oh, my God. Look at her.
Ha-ha-ha, how's it going?
Guys, guys. Check this out.
I said, young man Pick yourself off the ground
It's fun to stay at the YMCA