- I tell you that girl totally winked at me! - She did not wink at you.
- 那个女孩一定在跟我抛媚眼 - 才怪
You always think somebody's winking at you.
# So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 #
# Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 #
# It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 #
# When it hasn't been your day, #
# 日复一日 年复一年 #
# your week, your month, or even your year #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 #
# but I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# When the rain starts to pour #
# 纵有狂风暴雨 #
# I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# Like I've been there before #
# 支持一如往昔 #
# I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# 'Cause you're there for me too #
# 你我相偎相依 #
I say "Tupelo Honey" by Van Morrison.
The most romantic song ever was "The Way We Were."
Ah, I think the one that Elton John wrote for, um, that guy on Who's the Boss?
What song was that?
Hold me close, young Tony Danza
- Hi, Monica. - Hi, Mon.
- 嗨 摩妮卡 - 嗨 摩妮卡
- Has she slept at all? - Nope.
- 她到底有没有睡过觉 - 没有
It's been three nights in a row.
She finally stopped crying yesterday.
But then she found one of Richard's cigar butts on the terrace...
Oh. Okay, that explains it. I got a call at 2 in the morning...
...and all I could hear was this squeaky sound.
So I thought, "Oh, it's a mouse or a possum."
Then I realized, like, okay...
...where would a mouse or a possum get the money to make the phone call?
- Morning. - Morning. Hey.
- 早 - 早 嘿
You made pancakes?
Yeah, like there's any way I could ever do that.
Monica and Rachel had syrup
Uh, uh Now I can get my man to cheer up.
Good morning, Joey.
Why don't you stay home from work and just hang out with me?
You have that report to finish, and I've got to see my lawyer.
I can't believe I date a girl who's getting divorced.
I'm such a grownup.
I gotta go, I gotta go.
Not without a kiss.
Maybe I won't kiss you so you'll stay.
I'll see you later, sweetie. Bye, Joey.
再见亲爱的 拜 乔伊
So when are you dumping her?
Heh. Come on, quit yanking me.
I'm not yanking you.
- This is Janice. - Yeah, I know.
- 这位可是珍妮丝 - 对 我知道
She makes me happy.
You look me in the eye and tell me, without blinking...
...that you're not breaking up with her. No blinking.
I'm not breaking up with her!
God, look what I found in the drain!
It's some of Richard's hair!
What do I do with this?
Getting it away from me would be job one.
It's weird, but I don't want to throw this away.
This is all I have left of him.
Cool! Oh, it looks like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal.
- God, what is wrong with me? - You need to get some sleep.
- 我是怎么了 - 你需要一些睡眠
I need to get some Richard.
You broke up with him for a reason.
I know. I know. I'm just so tired of missing him.
Tired of wondering why he hasn't called. Why hasn't he called?
不愿再去想 他为何不打来 他为何都没打来
Maybe because you told him not to?
What are you, the Memory Woman?
They're not breaking up! Chandler and Janice?
They're not breaking up! He didn't blink!
Well, you koow I'm not surprised. Have you seen them together?
They're really cute.
"Cute"? This is Janice!
You remember Janice?
Yes, I remember. She's annoying. But you know what?
我记得啊 她很惹人厌 但是你知道吗
She's his girlfriend now. I mean, what can we do?
There you go! That's the spirit I'm looking for! "What can we do?"
这就对了 我就是要这种精神 "我们能怎么办"
All right, who's first, huh? Ross?
Chandler's our friend, and Janice makes him happy.
So I say we be adult about it and accept her.
We'll call that Plan B.
...I was wondering...
...do you still have that, um, Navy uniform?
No, I had to return it to the costume place.
I think I have an old band uniform from high school.
You remember not having sex in high school, right?
Well, honey, what about you?
- What? - I mean...
- 什么啊 - 我的意思是…
Do you have any fun, you know, fantasy-type things?
Come on. You gotta have one.
- Ross, you know what? - What?
- 罗斯 你知道吗 - 什么
If you tell me, I might do it.
Did you ever see, um, Return of the Jedi?
你有没有看过 "星际大战 绝地大反攻"
Do you remember the scene...
...with, um, Jabba the Hutt?
Jabba had as his prisoner...
Princess Leia was wearing...
...this, um, gold bikini thing.
It was pretty cool.
Yeah, Princess Leia and the gold bikini? Oh, every guy our age loved that.
It's huge! That's the moment when she stopped being a princess...
很重要的 那个时刻 她不再是个公主
...and she became, like, you know, a woman.
Did you ever do the Leia thing?
Really? That great, huh?
No, it's just that I got this new pager, and I have it on "vibrate."
不 只是我买了新的呼叫器 我把它调成振动
Look who I found standing outside the Szechuan Dragon...
...staring at a parking meter.
- Ahem. Mon. Hi. - Hi.
- 摩妮卡 - 嗨
- Why aren't you at work? - Oh, they sent me home.
- 你怎么没去上班 - 他们把我送回家了
Because I don't work at the Szechuan Dragon.
You really need to get some sleep.
Guess what? They published my paper.
Oh! Really? Let me see, let me see.
Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me?
- Hey. - Wheel!
- 嘿 - 轮盘…
This guy's so stupid.
It's Count Rushmore!
You should really go on this show.
All right, lisen, I got three tickets to the Rangers tonight. What do you say?
Is Ross going too?
Because I just feel bad for Ross, you know?
We always go together. We're like The Three Hockey-teers, you know?
You koow, I may be way out on a limb here, but do you have a problem with Janice?
Oh, God, how do I say this? Uh...
You know that girl from the restaurant with the hair?
Ooh! That girl that I hate? Ugh! She drives me crazy. Ew.
Look, I don't hate Janice. She's just a lot to take, you know?
听着 我不讨厌珍妮丝 只是她令人难以忍受
Well, there you go.
Come on, don't look at me like that.
She drove you nuts before too, remember?
I'm crazy about her now. l think this could be the real thing.
Capital R, capital T!
Don't worry, those are the right letters.
Look, what do you want me to say?
I want you to say that you like her!
I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know?
Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna...
...pull my arm off so I have something to throw at her.
Thanks for trying.
Oh, and by the way, there is no Count Rushmore!
Then who's the guy that painted the faces on the mountain?
How could you tell her?
I didn't think it would be that big a deal!
Oh. She didn't think it would be a big deal!
Who are you talking to when you do that?
Look, that was supposed to be a private, personal thing between us.
Okay, Ross, Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay? We tell each other everything.
菲比是我的闺密 好吗 我们无话不谈的
l mean, come on! Guys do the same thing.
I mean, what about all that locker-room stuff?
That's different, okay? That's like, uh, who dated a stripper?
那不一样 我们会谈 像是谁跟脱衣舞娘约会
Or who did it on the back of the Staten Island ferry?
- Both of those Joey? - Yeah.
- 这两个都是乔伊吧 - 是啊
But you don't talk about your girlfriend...
...and the intimate stuff you do with her.
- Not even with your best friend? - No.
- 连最好的朋友也不谈 - 不啊
You're missing out on so much.
I mean, the bonding and the sharing...
...and knowing they're going through the same thing you are.
Oh. So, what, you tell each other everything?
Did you talk about the Night of Five Times?
Do you tell people about the Night of Five Times?
Uh, honey, that was with Carol.
I know, but it's still worth mentioning, I think.
Relax every muscle in your body.
Listen to the plinky-plunky music.
Okay, now close your eyes...
...and think of a happy place.
Tell me your happy place.
Richard's living room, drinking wine.
No, no, no. Not a Richard thing. Just put down the glass and get out.
不…不可以跟理查有关 把酒杯放下 快出来
I'm sorry, but that's my happy place.
Okay, fine. Use my happy place. Just don't move anything in there.
好 我的快乐地方借你用 但别弄乱
Okay. All right, so, you're in a meadow...
...millions of stars in the sky...
You think breaking up was a huge mistake?
There are no questions in the happy place.
Just the warm breeze and the moonlight flowing through the trees.
I'll bet he's over me. I'll bet he's fine.
Betting and wagering of any kind are not permitted in the happy place.
There's just, you know, the lovely waterfalls...
...and the trickling fountains...
...and the calming sounds of the babbling brook.
Okay, this isn't working.
I'm still awake, and now I have to pee.
I, uh, never said hate. I was very careful about that.
A little birdie told me you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.
And you got "hate" from that? You're taking a big leap there, I, uh...
All right, fine, fine, fine!
We have got to do something about our little situation here.
So this is my idea.
You and me spending some quality time together.
But what does that...?
Okay! This is what we'll call it: Joey and Janice's Day of Fun!
好 这就叫做 乔伊和珍妮丝的快乐一日游
Does it have to be a day?
Yes, because that's how long it takes to love me.
Yeah, I know. Ha. I sleep in the next room.
是 我知道 我睡在你们的隔壁
I went down to the post office...
...and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered...
...for Richard about the Civil War.
He loved the Civil War.
Do you want us to take you home?
Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away.
Women tell each other everything. Did you know that?
No, Chandler, everything.
不 钱德 我是说全部的事
Like stuff you like. Stuff she likes.
Technique. Stamina. Girth.
技巧 精力 腰围
Why would they do this?
Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly...
...we ought to be doing it.
- We're not gonna talk about girth? - No.
- 我们不会要讨论腰围吧 - 那倒不是
- Yeah. Okay. Yeah. - Yeah?
- 好吧 - 好
All right, you go first.
- Okay. Okay, I'll go first. - Okay.
- 好 我先说 - 好
So, uh, the other night...
...Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies...
...and I happened to describe a particular...
...Star Wars thing...
- Princess Leia and the gold bikini. - Yes.
- 莉亚公主和金色比基尼 - 没错
- I know! - Yes.
- 我就知道 - 是啊
Well, that was easy. Ha, ha.
Okay, you know when you're in bed with a woman...
...and, uh, ahem, you know, you're fooling around...
...and you get all these mental images in your brain?
Like Elle MacPherson or the girl at the Xerox place?
- With the bellybutton ring? Oh. - Oh! I know.
- 穿了肚脐环的那个 - 我就知道
And then all of a sudden, your mom pops into your head.
And you're, like, "Mom, get out of here!"
然后你就想 "妈 快走开啦"
But after that, you can't think of anything else.
And you can't stop what you're doing. So it's kind of like you're...
...you know, you know...
You're telling me about your mom? What's the matter with you?
- You said... - I said "share," not "scare"!
- 你说… - 我说要"分享" 不是"吓唬人"
Go sit over there!
What are you guys doing together?
Joey and Janice's Day of Fun!
- Really? - Yeah, yeah.
- 真的吗 - 是啊
We went to a Mets game. We got Chinese food.
And, uh, you know, I love this woman. Ha-ha-ha.
You have got competition, buddy.
Well, I just came by to give you a kiss.
I have to go pick up the baby. So I'll see you later, sweetheart.
我得去接孩子了 等一下见 甜心
You too, Chandler.
- You still can't stand her, can you? - I'm sorry, man. I tried! I really did!
- 你还是受不了她 是吗 - 抱歉 我已尽最大努力了
I appreciate you giving it a shot.
But you know, the good thing...
...is that we spent the whole day together and I survived.
And what's even more amazing, so did she. Ha, ha.
It was Bat Day at Shea Stadium.
I guess that's something.
Oh, man, that's huge!
Now I know I can stand to be around her. Which means...
...I get to hang out with you.
Which is kind of the whole point anyway. Ha, ha.
Oh, hey! We, uh, stopped by the coffee shop and, uh, ran into Ross.
If it makes you feel any better, I do it too.
- Really? - Oh, yeah!
- 真的 - 是啊
I always picture your mom when I'm having sex.
April 12, 1861.
The United States garrison at Fort Sumter was fired upon.
It is now under bombardment by...
Dad, what are you doing here?
It's your mother's bridge night, so I came into the city for a Moni-cuddle.
Since when did you start smoking cigars?
I don't. I just like the smell of them.
So, uh, what are you really doing here?
I just wanted to make sure you're okay.
Why wouldn't I be okay?
I'm just a little tired, but I'm okay.
- Ahem. How's Richard doing? - You don't want to know.
- 理查怎么样了 - 你不会想知道的
No, I really, really do.
Well, he's doing terrible!
Worse than when he broke up with Barbara.
- You're not just saying that, are you? - No, the man is a mess!
- 你不是故意这么说的吧 - 那个男人简直一团糟
- Was he crying? - No.
- 他有没有哭 - 没有
Do you think he was waiting till after you left, so he could cry?
Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your mom and me.
宝贝 感情这回事很难说 就像我跟你妈
You know, after we graduated from college, we broke up for a while.
It seems her father, your grandfather...
她父亲 就是你外公 似乎…
...wanted her to travel around Europe like he did.
Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel...
...because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time.
I am Jabba's prisoner. And you...
...have a really weird look on your face.
What? Honey, what is it?
Did I get the hair wrong?
Or what? Did you just picture it differently? What?
还是别的问题 跟你想像的不同 还是…
No, no. It's, um... It's not you. It's, um...
What is it? Come on, sweetie. You're, like, freaking me out here.
怎么了 拜托 甜心 你快把我吓坏了
I hate Chandler. The bastard ruined my life!