Okay, pick a card, any card.
All right, now memorize it.
Show it to everybody.
All right. Give it back to me.
Real magic does exist.
Wow. Joey, how do you do it?
I can't tell you that. No.
Uh, somebody's at the door on the ceiling.
Heh. No, that's our unbelievably loud upstairs neighbor.
He took up the carpets, and now you can hear everything.
Well, why don't you go up there and ask him to just step lightly, please?
I have, like five times, but the guy is so charming...
...that I go up there to yell, and I end up apologizing to him.
I'll go up there. I'll tell him to keep it down.
- All right, be my guest. - Good luck.
- 好啊 请便 - 祝你好运
All right, all right, all right.
If you really wanna know how I did it, I'll show you.
When you handed me back the card, what you didn't see was...
...I looked at it so fast, it was invisible to the naked eye.
Here, I'll slow it down so you guys can see it. Ready?
来 我放慢速度给你们看 准备好了吗
I was at my friend's downstairs...
...and we hear every single thing that you do.
Oh. Ha, ha. Thank you.
# So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 #
# Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 #
# It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 #
# When it hasn't been your day, #
# 日复一日 年复一年 #
# your week, your month, or even your year #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 #
# but I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# When the rain starts to pour #
# 纵有狂风暴雨 #
# I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# Like I've been there before #
# 支持一如往昔 #
# I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# 'Cause you're there for me too #
# 你我相偎相依 #
Anybody got a length of rope about 6 feet long with a noose at the end?
- Honey, what's the matter? - I just saw Janice.
- 亲爱的 发生什么事 - 我刚遇到珍妮丝
She was at Rockefeller Center, skating with her husband.
She looked so happy.
I almost feel bad for whipping that kid's pretzel at them.
I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine after we broke up.
She was walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking.
God, it killed me.
Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.
Sorry, I just... Any excuse to tell that story.
Hey, Chandler, there's a party tomorrow. You'll feel better then.
钱德 明天会有个派对 你会好过点的
Oh. You know what? I'm gonna be okay. You don't have to throw a party for me.
你知道吗 我没事 不用特地为我举行派对
It's Joey's birthday.
Oh, well, then if anybody should have a party, it should be him.
喔 如果要帮某人办派对 那一定是他了
Shh. I cannot believe she's still up there.
Okay, well, he totally screwed up the punch line.
You know, it's supposed to be:
- How's that coffee coming, dear? - Yeah. Right away, Mr. Kaplan.
- 咖啡好了吗 亲爱的 - 马上来 卡普兰先生
I'm not supposed to drink coffee. It makes me gassy.
I'll bet you're thinking, "What's an intelligent girl...
...who wants to be in fashion doing making coffee?"
Oh, ha, ha. You got me. Heh.
Don't think I haven't noticed your potential.
Well, I've got a project for you that's a lot more related to fashion.
- How does that sound? - Oh. That sounds great.
- 听起来如何 - 太棒了
- Come on over here, sweetheart. - Thank you so much, Mr. Kaplan.
- 过来 亲爱的 - 太感谢你了 卡普兰先生
I need these hangers separated ASAP.
Oh, God, I hate my job. I hate it. I hate my job.
I know, honey. I'm sorry.
我知道 亲爱的 我很遗憾
Oh. I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out.
...why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job...
...just because it's remotely related to the field they're interested in?
Gee, I don't know, Rach.
Order up. I got a Yentl soup, James Beans, and a Howdy, hold the Doody.
点菜吧 我有杨朵汤 詹姆斯豆 还有木偶餐
Oh. Honey, come on, I'm sorry. I didn't...
别这样 对不起 我不是…
I don't mind paying my dues.
It's just, how much am I gonna learn about fashion...
...by walking Myra, the arthritic seamstress...
...to the bathroom?
Hi. Is my misery amusing to you?
I'm sorry, I was just, uh... Ha, ha.
It's not funny. This is actually my job.
Oh, believe me, I've been there.
I had to sort mannequin heads at Mannequins Plus.
Oh. Well, then, so I'm just gonna go back to talking to my friend here.
You can go back to enjoying your little hamburger.
- Uh, just one other thing. - Ahem. Yes?
- 还有一件事 - 什么
I work at Bloomingdale's...
...and I might know of a job possibility, if you're interested.
Do you want my pickle?
- Hey, Gunther. - Hi.
- 嗨 阿甘 - 嗨
You're going out on a date with the noisy guy upstairs?
- Well, he's very charming. - I know, he's too charming.
- 他很迷人 - 我知道 他太迷人了
But if you go out, it's gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him.
Well, you're just going to have to try.
All right. Joey? Where are the Jell-O shots?
好了 乔伊 果冻酒呢
I don't know. Chandler's supposed to be passing them...
- Chandler. - Hello-dee-lo.
- 钱德 - 哈罗
Well, somebody's feeling better.
- Stick out your tongue. - Take off your shirt.
- 舌头伸出来 - 上衣脱下来
- Oh, my. - Oh, my God.
我的天 老天 喔喔
How many of these did you have? These are pure vodka.
Yeah, Jell-O just like Mom used to make.
The most unbelievable thing happened to me today.
I'm having lunch at Monica's and this guy starts talking to me...
...and he works for a buyer at Bloomingdale's...
...and there's an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number...
...and he's gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview.
What, so this guy's helping you for no apparent reason?
And he's a total stranger?
Yeah. His name is, um, Mark something.
Ah. Sounds like Mark Something wants to have some sex.
I'm just saying, why else would he just swoop in out of nowhere for no reason?
Hey, Joey, are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
- No, only for sex. - Thank you.
- 不会 除非为了上床 - 多谢
So did you tell Mark Something about me?
I didn't have to, because I was wearing my "I Heart Ross" sandwich board...
...and ringing my bell.
Joey! Happy birthday!
Okay, how many of that girl are you seeing?
How hammered are you? Huh? These are Joey's sisters.
Hi, Joey's sisters.
- Hey. - Hey. Hey.
- 嗨 - 你好
What are we drinking over here?
Oh, well, I have a vodka and cranberry juice.
That's the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
Okay, I don't know how to talk to you.
What are you doing?
I'm taking my ex-girlfriend off my speed dialer.
No, no, no, it's a good thing.
Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life?
Why can't we savor the precious moments? Those are some huge breasts you have.
Yeah, heh. So, um, I heard about this Mark guy that Rachel met today.
- Oh, yeah, isn't that great? - Oh, yeah.
- 对 不是很棒吗 - 是啊
So, uh, yeah, pretty good. He sounds like a nice, good guy.
Oh, he is. And he is so dreamy.
I mean, you know what? When he left, I actually used the phrase...
..."homina, homina, homina."
So he's just a nice guy.
You really think this Mark doesn't want anything in exchange for helping you?
Well, I assume I'll have to take showers with him.
But, you know, that's true of any job.
Well, my apartment isn't there anymore...
...because I drank it.
Where'd you get to? We lost you after you opened up all the presents.
Yeah, I ended up in the storage room, and not alone.
对 我躲到储藏室 而且不只我一人
No "woo-hooing." No "woo-hooing."
Why, what happened?
I fooled around with Joey's sister.
- Well, that's not the worst part. - What is the worst part?
- 那还不是最糟的部分 - 还有更糟的吗
I can't remember which sister.
You see what men do? Don't tell me men are nice.
Joey's gonna kill you. He's actually going to kill you dead.
Okay. You don't think I thought of that?
- How can you not know which one? - I mean, that's unbelievable.
- 你怎会不知道是哪一个 - 真令人难以置信
- I mean, was it Gina? - Which one is Gina?
- 是吉娜吗 - 吉娜是哪一位
The dark, big hair, with the airplane earrings.
No, no, no, that's not Gina, that's Dina.
不 那不是吉娜 那是迪娜
See? You can't tell which is which either. Blah.
We didn't fool around with any of them. Blah. Blah.
Veronica. Look, it's gotta be Veronica. The girl in the red skirt.
薇若妮卡 一定是她 穿红色裙子的
I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat.
Oh. When I've been drinking, sometimes I tend to get overly friendly.
- And I'm sorry. - That's okay.
- 对不起 - 没关系
- That's all right. - That's okay.
- 不要紧 - 没关系
Can I talk to you for a second?
- Hey, Joey. - Hey.
- 嗨 乔伊 - 嗨
Why can't we talk in here, with witnesses?
- I just got off the phone with my sister. - Uh, which one?
- 我刚和我妹妹通过电话 - 哪一个
- Mary Angela. - Mary Angela.
- 玛莉•安琪拉 - 玛莉•安琪拉
- Yeah. - Now, which one is she again?
- 对 - 这又是哪一个
Ask Chandler. He's the one who fooled around with her.
She told me you said you could really fall for her.
Now, is that true, or are you just getting over Janice by groping my sister?
It's gotta be the first one.
You and my sister, sitting in a tree.
Yep, I'm in a tree.
Did he call? Did Mark call?
No, honey, I'm sorry. But the weekend's not over yet.
没有 亲爱的 我很抱歉 但周末还没结束
Oh, my God. Is that Phoebe?
- Guess they're back from their date. - Ah.
- I am good. I finished my book. - Oh, yeah? What's it about?
- 我很好 完成一本书 - 真的吗 关于什么的
I don't remember. Do you wanna take a walk?
"Dear Mary Angela:
This is the hardest letter I've ever had to write."
What the hell's the matter with you? How do you think Joey's gonna react...
...when he finds out you blew off his sister with a letter?
That's the part where you tell him that I moved to France...
...when actually I'll be in Cuba.
All right, look, look, you've got to do this yourself, okay?
听着 你得自己来 好吗
In person. At least you know her name.
You just go to the house and you ask for Mary Angela, okay?
When whichever one she is comes to the door...
...take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
What if Mary Angela comes to the door and I ask for Mary Angela?
Joey, what...? What are you doing here?
Waiting for my grandma to finish my laundry.
Uh, I'm here to see Mary Angela.
You are so the man. Come on.
Now, look, listen. Listen.
You gotta be cool, because my grandma doesn't know about you two.
You do not wanna tick her off.
She was, like, the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body.
Where's Mary Angela?
- She's right in there. - Okay.
- 就在里面 - 好
- 嗨 钱德 - 嗨 钱德
I can't believe Mark didn't call. It's Sunday night and he didn't call.
Yeah, right. Look at you. You're practically giddy.
对 看看你 简直开心死了
No, I'm genuinely sorry the Mark thing didn't work out.
Look, Rach, I want only good things for you.
听着 瑞秋 我也希望你顺利
Wait a minute. Why don't you just call Mark?
Who says you have to sit here and wait for him?
You've got to make stuff happen.
Yeah, but you don't wanna seem too pushy.
Honey, it's not pushy. He gave her his home number.
Wha...? He gave you his home number, as in, like, to his home?
Yeah. And you don't mind if I call, because you only want good things for me.
对 你不介意吧 因为你希望我顺利
That's right, good things. That is what I said.
没错 这是好事 我是这么说的
Ahem. Hello, Mark? Hi, it's Rachel Green.
哈罗 马克吗 我是瑞秋•葛林
Ha, ha. Oh, no. Don't you apologize.
喔 不 你不需要道歉
He left my number at work.
He was gonna get it, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
Yeah. Oh, my God. Tomorrow? That's... No, it's perfect.
我 我的天 明天 真是…不 太好了
Oh, God. Thank you so much. Great. Bye.
天哪 太感谢你了 太好了 再见
Oh! I got the interview.
He even offered to meet me for lunch and prep me for it.
- Oh, that is amazing. - Yeah.
- 太棒了 - 对啊
Well, if I know Mark, and I think I do...
- ...I'd expect nothing less. - I gotta figure out what I'm gonna wear.
- 他应该就是那么棒 - 我得想想要穿什么
High collar and baggy pants say, "I'm a pro."
Yeah, right. Okay, I'll see you guys later.
What did I do to you? Did I hurt you in some way?
- What? - "Why don't you call him?"
- 什么 - "你为什么不打给他"
Well, thank you very much. Now he's gonna prep her.
You know, prep her, as in what you do before you surgically remove the boyfriend.
Oh, am I? Am I? Am I out of my mind? Am I losing my senses?
有吗 有吗 我失去理智了吗
This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal.
Ross, you know, this isn't even about you.
This is about Rachel and something happening for her.
Even if you're right.
What if he wants to sleep with her? Does that mean he gets to?
- No, but... - I mean, don't you trust her?
- 也不是 但… - 你不信任她吗
Then get over yourself. Grow up.
This tiramisu is excellent.
- Did you make it, Mary Angela? - No, I did.
- 是你做的吗 玛莉•安琪拉 - 不 是我做的
So, uh, Mary Angela, do you like it?
Of course. It's her favorite.
Mary Angela, what's your second favorite?
More of Grandma's tiramisu.
Oh, would you just please...
...give me your recipe, because this is great.
- That dies with me. - So will I.
- 食谱要跟着我上天堂 - 我也是
Excuse yourself and go to the bathroom.
Oh, no, I was just squinting. That doesn't mean anything.
Will you excuse me? I have to, um...
Finally. I thought we'd never be alone.
Can I just tell you something?
I have not stopped thinking about you since the party.
Look, I may have jumped the gun here. Whoa.
I just got out of a relationship.
And I'm not really in a... In a commitment kind of place.
God, Mary Angela was right. You do have the softest lips.
天啊 玛莉安琪拉说的没错 你的双唇真柔软
- You're not Mary Angela? - No. I'm Mary Therese.
- 你不是玛莉•安琪拉 - 不 我是玛莉•泰瑞丝
If you're not Mary Angela, then who is?
- Joey! - No Joey. No Joey. No Joey.
- 乔伊 - 别叫乔伊 别叫他
- Joey. - What's going on?
- 乔伊 - 什么事
You're it. Now run and hide.
Chandler was just kissing me because he thought I was Mary Angela.
What? How could you do that? How could you think she was Mary Angela?
什么 你怎么可以这样 怎么会认错人
I wasn't sure which one Mary Angela was.
Look, I'm sorry, okay?
听着 我很抱歉 好吗
I was really drunk, and you guys all look really similar.
I say punch him, Joey.
- Yeah, punch him. - Yeah, kick him.
- 对 揍他 - 对 踢他
We should all calm down...
...because, you know, your brother's not gonna punch me.
Well, that is usually what I would do.
But I never thought you'd be on the receiving end.
How could you do this?
Joey, if you wanna punch me, go ahead. I deserve it.
乔伊 如果你想揍我 尽管来 我活该
But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family.
You're my best friend.
And I would never do anything like this ever again.
- I say punch him. Punch him. - Yeah, punch him.
- 我说揍他 揍他 - 对 揍他
- Come on, punch him. - No. No. I'm not gonna punch Chandler.
- 来吧 揍他 - 不 我不会揍钱德
- I'll do it. - No, you won't.
- 让我来 - 不行
Look, he knows he did a terrible thing, and I believe him.
He's sorry. But you got one more apology to make.
All right? You gotta apologize to Mary Angela.
- Okay. Absolutely. You got it. - All right.
- 好 没问题 你说的对 - 好
- Cookie, now you can punch him. - What?
- 甜心 现在你可以揍他了 - 什么
What are you doing here?
You know, this building's on my paper route, so...
Oh, well, the woman I interviewed with was pretty tough...
...but, you know, thank God Mark coached me.
Once I started talking about the fall line, she got all happy.
- I'm so proud of you. - Me too.
- 我真以你为荣 - 我也是
Listen, I'm, uh...
I'm sorry I've been so crazy and jealous and...
It's just, I like you a lot, so...
只是 我很喜欢你 所以…
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- 真的吗 - 真的
- Rachel. - Yeah?
- 瑞秋 - 是的
- Hi. Hi. - Hi, Mark.
嗨 嗨 马克
I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it. You got the job.
我刚和乔安娜谈过 她很欣赏你 你录取了
- What? - Oh! I did?
- 真的吗 - 我录取了
How was your date?
Oh, well, you know. Ha, ha.
Ick. You were eavesdropping?
Eavesdropping? Pheebs, the ceiling tiles were falling down.
But I really like this guy, and I think he really happens to like me.
Maybe he's just jumping on a pogo stick and he really likes it.
Maybe the pogo stick likes it too.
All right, that's it. He cannot do this to Phoebe.
够了 到此为止 他不能这样对菲比
This guy's gonna get the butt-kicking of a lifetime.
But is he a big guy?
We'll all go. Come on.
- Thanks, you guys. Thank you. - Don't worry.
- 谢谢你们 谢谢 - 别担心
God. I hope they kick his ass.
Honey, I'm sorry.
You know, if it's any consolation...
...he really did sound like he was having more fun with you.