- Does everybody hate these shoes? - Oh, yeah.
- 这双鞋很难看吗 - 绝对
But I don't think anybody's gonna focus on that as long as you wear that towel dress.
It's her first day at this new job. You're not supposed to start with her.
All right. I suppose I can wait a day.
- Hey, what are you doing Friday? - Why?
- 礼拜五要干嘛 - 干嘛
I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert.
You know, he's the botanist?
Oh, God. Yeah, botanists are such geeks.
Is that a dinosaur tie?
- Morning. - Hey.
- 早 - 早
Hey. Rach, I'm here with the purses.
It must take you forever to find your keys.
Thank you, thank you, Pheebs.
Oh, you're welcome. Oh, please want the one with the turtles.
No, no, no, turtles scare me. I don't need that today.
Honey, just relax. It's gonna be fine.
亲爱的 别慌 会很顺利的
Hey, why don't I come down there and take you to lunch?
Aw, honey, thank you, but Mark's taking me out.
亲爱的 谢了 不过我要跟马克去吃
Mark? Is that the same Mark that helped you get the job?
Yeah. It's kind of like a "good luck on your first day" sort of thing.
Is this actually a lunch box?
Um, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos in it.
不是 是皮包 里头还有保温瓶
- Hey, so can you make it on Friday? - What?
- 所以你礼拜五可以吗 - 什么
Oh, yeah, I think so. Why am I invited to this again?
喔 应该吧 再跟我说是要干嘛
Apparently, Albert has no friends.
He's excited about the bachelor party, though.
I think the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.
A stripper at a bachelor party. That is so cliche.
Why don't you guys get a magician?
If a magician can open my beer with his butt cheeks, then all right.
# So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 #
# Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 #
# It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 #
# When it hasn't been your day, #
# 日复一日 年复一年 #
# your week, your month, or even your year #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 #
# but I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# When the rain starts to pour #
# 纵有狂风暴雨 #
# I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# Like I've been there before #
# 支持一如往昔 #
# I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# 'Cause you're there for me too #
# 你我相偎相依 #
She's having lunch with him? Lunch with him?
You should've seen the hug he gave her when she got the job.
And he's really good-looking.
- What am I gonna do? - You don't do anything.
- 我要怎么办 - 按兵不动
Keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings.
Don't cry out loud.
Guess who has an audition for a Broadway musical.
I wanna say you, but it seems like such an easy answer.
It's a musical version of A Tale of Two Cities.
So I think I'm gonna sing "New York, New York"...
...and, uh, oh, "I Left My Heart in San Francisco."
Uh, Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.
乔伊 剧情跟哪座城市有关 应该不是由你来选的
- What? - Mr. Dickens gets to pick them.
- 哈 - 狄更斯先生早决定好了
I'll get you the CliffsNotes.
Then the style number...
...the invoice number, and the shipping date.
Good. Any questions so far?
很好 到目前为止 有问题吗
Yeah. What kind of discount do we get?
- Ha, ha. Twenty percent. - Oh. I love this job. Ha, ha.
- 八折 - 爱死这工作了
- Ah! My first call. - Here, let me.
- 第一通电话 - 我来接
- Rachel Green's line. How may I help you? - Hi, is Rachel there?
- 瑞秋•葛林座位 有何贵干 - 瑞秋在吗
- And who may I say is calling? - This is Ross.
- 请问哪位 - 罗斯
Of "Ross and Rachel."
Oh. Hi, it's Mark.
- Oh, hey, Mark. Heh. Hey. - Hey.
- 你好 马克 - 你好
- Hey, hold on a second. - Uh, okay.
- 请稍候 - 好
- It's Ross. - Okay.
- 罗斯找你 - 好
- Hi, honey. - Hi.
- 亲爱的 - 你好
What's Mark doing answering your phone?
Oh, he's just goofing around.
Why isn't he goofing around in his own office?
Ha, ha. Honey, this is his office too. I told you, we're Joanna's two assistants.
亲爱的 这也算他办公室 我们都是乔安娜的助理
Why does Joanna need two assistants?
- Oh. Oh, my God. What did I just do? - What?
- 天啊 发生什么事了 - 什么
I think I just shipped 3000 bras to Personnel.
Honey, I gotta go. Mark, I need you.
亲爱的 不能聊了 马克 救命
Huh? Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie. I was just trying to...
抱歉 亲爱的 我只是在…
Uh, I was dialing another number.
All right, I just got changed in 30 seconds so you could be alone with him.
- You better go for it. - Please. I'm not going for anything.
- 你赶快采取行动 - 拜托 我才不要采取行动
- Well, if you don't, I will. - Would you please go?
- 要是你不上 我要上了喔 - 拜托你走了吧
Look, Julio, someone left their book here.
Actually, that is mine.
- Oh, yeah? - Yes.
- 是喔 - 对
What are you reading?
Flowers of Evil by Baudelaire. Have you read it?
Ha, ha. Have I read it?
No. Are you enjoying it?
I thought that I would, but the translation's no good.
You're a poet and you don't know it.
Actually, I, uh... I am a poet.
So you do know it. Ha, ha.
Ahem. So, uh, what kind of things do you write about?
Things that move me.
The shadow of a tree...
...a child laughing...
I could write an epic poem about this lip.
Well, it didn't rhyme, ha, ha...
# You've got to pick a pocket or two, boys #
# 你要偷一两个钱包 男孩 #
# You've got to pick a pocket or two #
# 你要偷一两个钱包 #
Lovely. Just lovely.
Listen, Joey, we definitely wanna see you for the callback on Saturday.
- I'll be there. - Ha, ha. Okay.
- 我一定到 - 好
And listen, don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition.
还有 记得带爵士舞鞋 要面试舞蹈喔
Uh, my agent said that it wasn't a dancing part.
Joey, all the roles gotta dance a little. Ha, ha.
But believe me, with your dance background, it'll be a piece of cake.
Three years of modern dance with Twyla Tharp?
Five years with the American Ballet Theatre?
Hey, everybody lies on their resume, okay?
I wasn't one of the Zoom kids either.
Well, can you, like, dance at all?
Yeah, I can dance. You know:
Sure, it looks stupid now. There's no music playing.
All right, I have to get that. But no, no.
Yeah, listen, I'm in need of a stripper, and I was told that you do that.
是的 我需要一名脱衣女郎 听说你有做这服务
Let me ask you this. What do you do for the extra hundred?
So would I have to provide the grapes?
How was last night with Julio, señorita? Ha, ha.
He's so sexy and smart, which makes him even sexier.
Oh, my gosh. Last night we were fooling around...
...and all of a sudden he stops to write a poem.
Get out. I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me.
Okay, we have our stripper, a Miss Crystal Chandelier.
Well, sure. You name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
是喔 给小孩取这种名字 难怪长大变这样
Ahem. Anyway, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him.
Now, I am totally dense about poetry, but I think this is pretty good, all right?
Check it out. Read it.
- Hey, you know, that's pretty good. - Yeah, I think so too. Phoebe?
- 真的不赖耶 - 我也这么觉得 菲比呢
- Oh, yeah. - Oh, great. I'm so glad you guys like it.
- 对 - 太好了 很高兴大家都喜欢
- Yay. All right, I gotta go to work. - No, no. I'm not done.
- 好了 我要上班了 - 我还没看完
Give it back when you're through.
- Okay, see you guys. - Bye-bye.
- 好 再见 - 再见
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Poor Monica.
- What? What? What? - What?
- 怎样 怎样 - 怎样
He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look.
My vessel so lovely With nothing inside
Now that I've touched you You seem emptier still
He thinks Monica's empty. She's the empty vase.
- You really think that's what he meant? - Totally.
- 诗真的这意思吗 - 绝对是
Oh, God. Oh, and she seems so happy too.
Do you have the Ralph Lauren file?
Oh, yeah, sure. It's, uh right...
Uh, it's from Ross. It's a love bug.
Wow. Somebody wants people to know you have a boyfriend.
Oh, no. No, no, no. That's not what he's doing.
- He's just really romantic. - Okay.
- 他只是很浪漫 - 好
Excuse me. Are you Rachel Green?
打扰了 请问是 瑞秋•葛林吗
# Congratulations on your first week at your brand-new job. #
# 恭喜新工作第一周 #
# It won't be long Before you're the boss #
# 很快你就会当老板 #
# And you know who will be there To support you #
# 你清楚谁会支持你 #
# Your one and only boyfriend #
# 就是你唯一无二的男友 #
# It's nice to have a boyfriend. #
# 有男友真好 #
# Your loyal, loving boyfriend, Ross Ross! #
I'm hurt. I'm actually hurt...
...that you'd think I'd send you those things out of anything other than love.
- Hurt. - All right, Ross, I get it. You're hurt.
- 心好痛 - 好啦 我懂了 我伤到你了
Can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymore?
Oh, please. Ross, it was so obvious.
拜托 罗斯 这用意也太明显了
It was like you were marking your territory.
I mean, you might as well have just come in and peed all around my desk.
I would never do that.
Look, I know what's going on here, okay?
Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.
Yeah, well, if Mark said that, then Mark's an idiot.
- Why? How? How is he a genius? - Look, don't you see what's happening?
- 怎么说他怎会是天才 - 你们不懂这是怎么回事吗
Instead of hitting on her right away, he's becoming her confidant.
Now he's gonna be the guy that she goes to to complain about you.
Well, why don't you send her a musical bug?
Oh, no, you already did that.
All right, look, you're gonna have to go there yourself now, okay?
- Make a few surprise visits. - I don't know, you guys.
- 给她来个意外造访 - 不知道耶
Fine, don't do anything. Just sit here and talk to us.
好 啥都别做 就坐这跟我们聊
Meanwhile, she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe-Sensitive.
She starts thinking, "Maybe this is the guy for me because he understands me."
And before you know it, she's with him.
And you'll be all, "Oh, man."
And he'll be all, "Yes!"
And us, we'll be like, "Oh, dude."
And pretty soon you'll be like:
And, "Well, I can't go. Rachel and Mark might be there."
And we'll be like, "Man, get over it. It's been four years."
我们则只能说 "别放在心上 都四年了"
He paints quite a picture, doesn't he?
Here's the Shelli Segal stuff for December.
- Oh, wait, I've got something for you. - What? Oh... Mark.
- 等等 有东西给你 - 什么马克
It's okay. Rachel knows.
Yeah, but even so... Ha, ha.
I can't help it. I'm just crazy about you.
Oh, that is so sweet.
I know I'm Mr. Inappropriate today, but it's just so tough.
I see you walking around, and I just wanna touch and hold you.
Come on, no one's around. Just kiss me.
来吧 没旁人在 亲亲
- All right, that's it. Get off. Get off of her. - What is going on?
- 够了 分开 分开 - 怎么回事
What's going on? I'll tell you what's going on.
I have been down in your store for 20 minutes, trying to get a tie.
What do I have to do to get some service?
Uh, Joey? Joey Tribbiani?
Listen, Joey, I got a problem. I just got a call from my dance captain.
听好 乔伊 有个问题 领舞的舞者刚打来
He's having a relationship crisis and can't get out of Long Island.
So does that mean the audition's off?
Listen, Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience...
...I want you to take these dancers and teach them the combination.
Oh, Joey, come on, it's easy.
乔伊 拜托 这很简单
You know, it's hand, hand, head, head...
...up, pas de bourrée, pas de bourree...
...big turn here, rond de jambe, sissonne, sissonne...
转身 抬腿 跳跃
...slide, step, step...
So that's steppity-step and jazz hands.
What are you wrapping?
Look what I got Julio.
- Yeah, it's a vase. - Yeah.
- 是只瓶子 - 是啊
Just like the one in the poem.
Yeah, well, not exactly like the one in the poem.
Remember how you said you were really dense about poetry?
- So I'm just an empty vase, huh? - What?
- 我不过是只没有内涵的瓶子是吗 - 什么
So I don't read as many important books as you do.
I don't write poems that seem to be about one thing but are about something else.
And you know what? I get excited about stupid stuff...
...like when my People magazine comes on Saturday...
...and the new Hold Everything catalog.
But that does not mean I'm empty.
I care about things. I care about my friends and family.
You have no right to make that judgment about me.
You don't even know me.
The poem is not about you.
- What? - "The Empty Vase" is not about you.
- 什么 - "空瓶"不是在写你
You make me so sad that you would think this.
- I'm sorry. It's... My friend Phoebe said... - No, it's...
- 抱歉 是我朋友菲比说的 - 不
It's about all women.
Well, heh, all American women.
You feel better now?
All right, let's do it.
I know, it's the best I could get out of them.
- Well, people. - People, people, people.
- 各位 - 各位
Let's try it again. And this time, let's everybody watch Joey.
Show them how it's done.
Count it off, Mack.
So did you have fun at the bachelor party last night?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Look what I got.
- See, she's fully dressed, right? - Right.
- 你看 她都有穿喔 - 对
And then you click it and, uh-oh, she's naked.
And then you click it again and she's dressed.
She's a business woman, walking down the street.
She's window shopping, and, oh, oh, oh, she's naked.
You know what? I'm gonna spend some alone time with the pen.
I'm sorry. I was an idiot.
- A big idiot. - A big idiot. Heh.
- 蠢毙了 - 蠢毙了
It's just, you have to realize, this whole Mark thing is really hard for me.
只是 请你理解 马克这事件我就是无法释怀
Honey, why is it hard? We've been together for almost a year now.
亲爱的 怎会无法释怀 我们都在一起快一年了
Well, I was with Carol for like eight years, and I lost her.
And now, if it's possible, I think I love you even more.
So it's hard for me to believe I'm not gonna...
Well, that someone else isn't gonna take you away.
Let it be me. Let it be me.
Honey, that's very sweet.
It just seems to me, though, that if two people love each other...
...and trust each other, like we do...
...there's no reason to be jealous.
I gotta get going. Bye, Chandler.
我要走了 再见 钱德
Listen, this pen's getting kind of boring, so can you pick me up some porn?
- Where you going? - I've gotta go pick up Ben.
- 你去哪 - 我去接小班
We've got a playdate this afternoon.
Just this woman I met last night at the party.
There was a woman at?
You have a playdate with a stripper?
Man, I gotta get a kid.
We started talking after she, you know, did her thing...
...and it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age.
So we're gonna take the kids to a Gymboree class.
- Is that okay? - Sure. Is she married?
- 可以吗 - 当然 她结婚没
No. You know, I just don't see why she has to play with you, that's all.
I mean, doesn't she, you know...
...have any other stripper-mom friends of her own?
- You are totally jealous. - Ugh. I'm not jealous, all right?
- 你明明就是在吃醋 - 我没在吃醋好吗
...um, people feeling certain things...
...you know, about...
- And, you know... And, um... I... Ugh. - Honey, I love you too.
- 而且 - 亲爱的 我也爱你
- Bye. - Wait, wait, wait.
- 再见 - 等等
Well, there's a kiss he won't forget for a few hours, you know?
Either that or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.
Is there a Julio here?
You think there's no one finer
Well, your poems are unpublished And you work in a diner
You're no God's gift to women That's all in your head
You are just a butt-munch
No one likes a butt-munch.
And you're also bad in bed