I'm can't believe I'm getting my nails done.
And you said it was gonna be fun.
Which it kind of is.
You said there were gonna be other guys. There are no other guys.
- Chandler, there's a guy right over there. - That's a mailman.
- 那边就有个 - 那是快递
That's our mailman.
Chandler, don't worry. This doesn't make you any less of a guy.
What am I sitting on?
Heh. I'd hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.
- Know who used to have nails like that? - No.
- 你知道谁也戴那种指甲吗？ - 不知道
Joey, let me ask you a question. This has been driving me crazy.
乔伊 问你一个问题 我快抓狂了
- What does this light switch do? - Oh, nothing.
- 这个开关是干嘛用的？ - 没用
Didn't it drive you crazy to not know what it did?
I know what it did. Nothing.
They wouldn't have put it there if it didn't do something.
- How can you not care? - Like this:
- 你怎么能不在意？ - 就像这样
Well, here's another question for you.
Do you know what that little silver knob on the toilet does?
- Sure. It flushes it. - Okay, good.
- 当然知道 冲水 - 很好
Now, since you know, when you come over, would you mind actually using it?
- Hello. - Hey. Aah!
- 哈罗 - 嘿
- Oh, my God. Wow. - Guess who we ran into today?
- 我的天啊 - 猜我们今天遇见谁
- Janice. - Is this amazing?
- 珍妮丝 - 很棒吧？
- How have you been? - Well, um, I'm divorced.
- 你好吗？ - 我离婚了
- Wow. - Really?
- 哇喔 - 真的吗？
Yeah, I'm riding the alimony pony.
I just came up to say hi. Hi.
- You, sweetie, I'll see you later. - Okay.
- 亲爱的 我们待会见 - 好
Mwah. I'll see you tonight.
- Bye. Bye. - Bye. Bye.
- 再见 再见… - 再见
- Bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye. - Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Oh.
- 再见… - 再见…
I can't stand the woman.
What? I thought you were crazy about her.
You know all those little annoying things she did before we fell in love?
You know, like her voice and her laugh and her personality?
Well, they're all back, you know.
And she's picked up like nine new ones.
So, what are you doing bringing her here? There's people here.
Don't worry about it. I'm taking care of it tonight.
You are not. You have never been able to break up with her.
Well, I don't have to break up with her.
We're not involved. I'm gonna do a preemptive strike.
I'm gonna end it with her before it starts.
My ass is, like, frozen.
Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes.
I can't believe you really walk alone here at night.
I mean, you hear such stories about New York.
No, it's really not that bad.
I mean, I, for one, feel perfectly safe.
Help! Help! Help!
No, no, no, Ross. Ross, these are friends of mine from home.
罗斯 没事 他们是我在英国的朋友
- Liam, Devon, this is Ross. - Oh. Heh.
- 连恩 戴文 这是罗斯 - 噢 耶
- Hi, mate. - Hey.
- 老兄 你们好 - 嗨
- How are you, man? - Ha, ha.
- 你还好吧？ - 哈哈
That was a good one, huh? I was like, "Help! Help!"
I've been meaning to ring you ever since I arrived...
...but, um, well, I've been rather busy.
You realize we have not seen each other since the night of that U2 concert?
- Ah. - Oh, my God, I think you're right.
- 啊 - 天哪 没错
Well, actually, the last time you and I saw each other was the next morning.
So, what, were you guys playing soccer or something?
Or should I call it...
We were playing rugby.
In fact, we're playing a game tomorrow. You're welcome to play too.
Ha, ha. Ross play rugby? I don't think so.
What's so funny about that?
Well, I mean, you're American, to start with.
You don't really have rugby here.
Heh. Well, we didn't have freedom here until 1776 either, so...
So good, then. We'll see you at Riverside Park at 2.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
- 干杯 - 干杯
Oh, boy. I just love to sing.
Yes, I know that you do.
One of the reasons people were complaining...
...was because most of the people had paid to hear the actor sing "Old Man River."
Who would've thought that Cupid had a station at 14th Street Nails?
Okay, we have to talk.
I'm just getting out of a very serious relationship.
I know. And I'm just getting out of a marriage.
I mean, talk about meant to be.
Right. But I just think this is happening too soon.
Oh, too soon, too schmoon.
Face it, honey, I am not letting you get away this time.
- I hear you. - Ha, ha.
- 我听见了 - 哈哈
But unfortunately, my company...
但是 很不幸的 我公司…
...is transferring me overseas.
- To Paris? - No. No, not Paris.
- 巴黎？ - 不 不是巴黎
To London? Oh. No, Rome? Vienna? Ooh, ooh. Barcelona?
Okay, could you just stop talking for a second?
That's right. Yes. I'm being transferred to Yemen.
对 没错 我要被调去叶门
- When? - I don't know exactly.
- 什么时候？ - 我不太清楚
Well, I will just have to soak up every ounce of Chandler Bing...
...until that moment comes.
But I do know it's sometime tomorrow.
This switch thing has been driving me crazy.
So I turned it off and checked every outlet.
Now, four don't work, which means one of them has to be controlled by the switch.
So I plugged in things in all four outlets that make noise.
That way, when I turn it on, I just follow the noise...
...and find out which one it is.
I bet I stopped listening before you did.
You know, you also could have used lamps...
...and then followed the light.
Yeah, well, I'm using noise. Okay?
All right, so everybody ready?
There's something. I hear something. Where is it?
有声音 我听到了 在哪里？
It's coming from Joey.
Oh, my God. That's so freaky. Turn him off.
天哪 好诡异喔 把他关掉
With the set scrum in center field.
Could we put on the news? I think it might be raining.
No, just hold on a sec. I'm watching this rugby thing on ESPN.
I don't know what the big deal is. I'm man enough to play this sport.
Dude, you're not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
You know, uh, you really didn't have to help me pack.
Oh. When you said all you were gonna be doing...
...between now and the time you leave is packing...
...you really didn't leave me much choice.
Well, I thought I did, but I guess I did not.
- Hey. What's going on? - Oh, I'm packing.
- 怎么回事？ - 我要打包
You know, I'm packing because I'm moving to Yemen tomorrow.
Thanks for telling me.
I'm only pretend-moving to Yemen, okay? It's the only way I can get rid of her.
And Yemen. That actually sounds like a real country.
Hey, Chandler, come on.
I'm gonna show you how to roll your underwear and stuff it in your shoes.
- It's a real space-saver. - I do that because it makes me look taller.
- 可以省空问 - 我那样做是想垫高
Hey, Chandler. Come on.
- Joey, trade lives with me. - Nope.
- 乔伊 跟我交换人生 - 不要
Man, look at this. Ross, I can't believe you said you'd play.
天哪 你看看 罗斯 你居然说你要打
- Look how brutal this is. - Hey, I can handle it, all right?
- 这种运动好野蛮 - 我可以应付
You got hurt playing badminton with my dad.
That's because your mom's dog kept looking at me.
Okay, Ross, look, look, look. Right here, it's called a "scrum," okay?
好 你看 这个叫斗牛阵
- It's kind of like a huddle. - And is a hum kind of like a scruddle?
- 就像聚商 - 那商斗就像聚牛阵吗？
Ross, they're gonna kill you.
Why are you doing this, anyway?
Well, you should've seen the guy that she used to go out with.
I mean, he's like Joe Rugby.
You're kidding. And he plays rugby? That's so funny.
Oh, I see. You did that. All right.
Anyway, she thought the very idea of me playing rugby with him was, like, hilarious.
So I'm gonna show her how tough I really am.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You're right. You are a tough guy.
对不起 你说得对 你是很猛
You're the toughest paleontologist I know.
All right, come on.
Look, Ross can take care of himself. It's not like he's Chandler.
Look, don't worry about me.
I'll just look real energetic and stay away from the ball.
I'll be that guy, right outside the circle.
Oh. Well, maybe there was a dog looking at him.
Okay, Ross, Ross, Ross.
You're gonna wanna stay away from that guy and that guy and that one.
别靠近那个人 那个人 和那个人
Dude, they're all huge.
They don't look any bigger than me.
That's because you're closer to you.
So you look bigger to you from where you are.
I'm just gonna go and say hello to the lads.
- All right. - Okay.
- 好 - 好
I kind of liked it.
Okay, I know what I've gotta do. I've gotta go Red Ross.
You know, Red Ross?
Totally don't know what you're talking about.
That time that we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves...
...and that one guy cut in front of us, and I just lost it?
Huh? Screamed at him, turned all red.
Liam, do me a favor.
连 恩 帮个忙
Tell the lads to go easy on Ross. It's his first time.
- Thanks. - Okay.
- 谢了 - 好
Ross. Ross, come on, get in here.
Ross, come on, get in the bloody scrum.
Oh. You are not gonna believe it. Joshua came in today, and guess what.
说了你一定不信 约书亚今天来 你猜怎样？
- He asked you out? - No.
- 他约你？ - 没有
But I was showing him some cuff links, and I felt his pulse.
- What are these? - Oh. Electrical plans for the building.
- 这是什么？ - 这栋楼的电路图
Okay, okay, okay, should I be scared?
I know that switch has gotta do something. So I went to City Hall and I got these.
All I had to do was pay $25 and wait in line for three hours.
Wow. If only more people knew.
You know, you really didn't have to take me to the airport.
Oh, please. Every moment is precious.
Besides, somebody had to ride in that other taxi with your luggage.
And your friends don't seem to care very much that you're leaving.
Well, we're not really that close.
Okay. So I guess this is, uh, you know, goodbye, then.
It's not goodbye. I'm not leaving until you get on that plane.
Okay, well, I guess it's just "wait here," then.
Hi. I need a fake ticket to Yemen.
- One ticket to Yemen? - Oh, no, no, no.
- 一张去也门的机票？ - 不是
I just need a pretend ticket.
I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand.
What would you give to a kid if he wanted a ticket to play with?
Are you traveling with a child?
Oh. She's gonna think that I'm handing you a credit card.
But what I'm really gonna do is hand you a library card.
Uh, sir, a ticket to Yemen is $2100, and we don't take library cards.
What's the matter? Is something wrong?
Do you have to stay?
I can't believe they're doing that to him. I told them to go easy on him.
No offense, but sometimes it's hard to understand you...
...you know, with the accent, so...
- That's just halftime. There's more of this. - Oh.
- 才上半场结束 还有下半场 - 噢
Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game.
- Right. - Do me a favor? Grab me a bottle of water?
- 是啊 - 帮个忙 去帮我拿水
- I think I'm dying. I really do. - Oh, poor baby.
- 我觉得我快死了 真的 - 真可怜
Tell my son that I love him.
Oh, excellent. Okay, gotta have some more fun.
Ross, they are killing you out there.
- That's not true. - She's right. You have to stop.
- 乱讲 - 她说得对 你不能再打了
What? No. No, I'm not stopping. I'm Red Ross.
Dude, you go back out there, you're gonna be Dead Ross.
I don't care. I am not quitting. I am gonna finish this game.
All right. If you insist on doing this, at least let me help you.
好 如果你一定要打 至少让我帮忙
God, no. That is no place for a woman. Those guys will grab anything.
不行 这不是女人玩的 那些人什么都捉
That's not what I was saying.
I just might know a few things that could help you inflict some pain.
- I like that. - Yeah? Listen closely.
- 我喜欢 - 是吗？听好
- Devon has got a weak ankle. - Huh?
- 戴文的脚踝很弱 - 呃？
One swift kick and he'll back off.
All right, bad ankle. Got it.
好 脚踝虚 了解
- And that big bloke with the beard? - Uh-huh.
- 那个留落腮胡的大个子 - 呃
- He's got a trick hip. - Ha, ha.
- 臀部毛病很多 - 臀部毛病很多
Yeah. And David over there, I heard that he doesn't wear a cup.
Real...? I could use that. Trick hip, no cup. Okay, okay.
真的吗？蛮有用的 臀部不好 没穿护档 好
And Liam. Liam's got bad knees.
You hit him right and he'll go down like a lamp.
But Liam's on my team.
- I don't care. You just get him. - Go get him.
- 我不管 你去宰了他 - 好 宰了他
Okay. I am going back in.
Oh, just some pictures I made and hung up.
I thought they'd brighten up the place. They do, don't you think?
- Aah! - No, no, don't, don't.
-啊 - 别撕
I know that there's no hole there. I just really like that picture.
Oh, my God. Look at this.
But there is a wire back there. That switch is connected to something.
I don't care. The wires have come loose in your head.
I thought if I could follow the wire, I could find out what it did.
- And did you? - No.
- 那你找到了吗？ - 没有
It disappears back behind that baseboard.
For a minute there, I thought it went downstairs.
- Say hello to Mrs. Catrokis. - Oh, my God.
- 跟楼下邻居打声招呼吧 - 天啊
- Hello, darling. - Hello, Mrs. Catrokis.
- 你好 亲爱的 - 你好啊
Are you sure you don't wanna go see a doctor?
Oh, no, that'll just bring me down.
This was great. I mean, I was great. This was a great day.
太棒了 我很厉害 今天太棒了
You know what? I'm buying everyone coffee.
Someone just grab my wallet. It's in my pocket.
- Yeah, sure. - No, not you.
- 好 - 不是你
Look, your eye's still popping out a little. I'm gonna go get some ice.
- Okay. - Ooh, ice, yeah. I'm so in the mood for ice.
- 好 - 冰块 我正想吃冰块
- You were amazing out there. - Oh.
- 你刚才好神勇 - 噢
- I kind of was, wasn't I? - Oh, my God.
- 真的 对吧？ - 天啊
I made a man twice my size cry.
I mean, I haven't done that since I was 4 and I washed my dad's Porsche with rocks.
You really enjoyed yourself, didn't you?
Please, are you kidding? I hurt three huge men.
I gave a guy a bloody nose.
I mean, I'm not proud of it...
...but I really am.
And it's all because of you.
- Yeah. Wonderful, amazing you. - I think you've got a concussion.
- 最棒最棒的你 - 我看你是脑震荡了
No, no, I'm serious. Thank you.
不 我是说真的 谢谢你
- I'm sorry. Did that hurt you? - It's worth the pain.
- 对不起 会痛吗？ - 痛也值得
You know what? You know what? It's not.
This is the final boarding call for Flight 664 to Yemen.
Well, I guess I gotta go.
Oh. My Bing-a-ling.
Do you even know how long you're gonna be gone?
Well, just until we find an energy source to replace fuel.
Oh. Well, I'll write you every day.
15 Yemen Road, Yemen.
- Chandler? - No.
- 钱德？ - 不是我
Janice. There you are. There you are. I had to have one last kiss.
珍妮丝 你在这里 我得跟你做最后吻别
And also, also, you said you were gonna leave right after I got on the plane.
No. No. I wanna see you take off.
Well, then I guess I'm going to Yemen.
I'm going to Yemen.
When we get to Yemen, can I stay with you?
All right. The super couldn't figure out what it did.
The $200-an-hour electrician couldn't figure out what it did.
I've had seven pretty serious shocks.
- I officially give up. - Thank God.
- 我放弃了 - 谢天谢地
I guess Joey was right.
I'm doing it. I am totally doing it.