That was the 10th time I've peed since I've been here.
It's also, like, the 10th time you've told us. Ha, ha.
Yeah, oh, I'm sorry, it must be hard to hear.
I'll tell you, it's easier having babies playing...
..."Bring in 'da Noise, Bring in 'da Funk" on your bladder.
I am so sick of being pregnant.
The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee...
...which of course is decaf because, oh, I'm pregnant. Heh.
Pheebs, you want a cookie?
So, uh, Pheebs, honey, how are those mood swings coming?
I haven't really had any yet.
- Hey, guys. - Hey.
- 嘿 两位 - 嘿
All right. Here's the ring.
Yes, yes. A thousand times, yes.
我愿意 我愿意 千百个愿意
So, uh, any ideas for the bachelor party?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
哇哦 哇哦 哇哦
Before you start handing out rings and planning bachelor parties...
...don't you have to decide who your best man's gonna be?
Oh, it's awkward. It's awkward, it's awkward.
I sort of already asked Chandler.
What? He got to do it at your first wedding.
Joey, I figured you'd understand. I've known him a lot longer.
乔伊 我以为你会了解 我们认识比较久
Come on, Ross. I don't have any brothers. I'm never gonna get to be a best man.
拜托啦 罗斯 我没有兄弟 我永远都没机会了
You can be the best man when I get married.
I'm never gonna get to be a best man.
So you get to be my best man twice, and I don't get to be yours at all?
Oh, no. Yeah, of course, you can be my best man.
What about me? You just said I could.
I'm not even getting married!
Okay, this is a question for science-fiction writers.
I can't believe you're not picking me.
- Hey, how could it not be me? - I'm not even...
- 我又没要… - 我又没要…
- I'm not even... - All right, you know what? That's it.
- 我又没要… - 好 够了
From now on, Joey I want you to be my best man.
Yes. Shame about you, though.
- Stop it. - What?
- 停下来 - 什么?
One of the babies is kicking.
- I thought that was a good thing. - It's not kicking me.
- 那不是好事吗？ - 不是踢我
It's kicking one of the other babies.
Oh. Don't make me come in there!
Do you guys have, like, a big bowl I can borrow?
Yeah, there's one right under the cabinet.
- Thanks. - Why do you need it?
- 谢谢 - 干嘛？
Oh, we're having a party tomorrow night. Later.
Hey, hey. Are you planning on inviting us?
No. No, no. Later.
Hey, get your ass back here, Tribbiani!
嘿 崔比亚尼 给我滚回来
What Phoebe meant was...
...how come you're having a party and we're not invited?
Oh. It's Ross' bachelor party.
- So? - Are you bachelors?
- 所以？ - 你们是单身汉吗？
- No. - Are you strippers?
- 不是 - 你们是脱衣舞娘吗？
- No. - Then you're not invited.
- 不是 - 那就抱歉了
All right, fine. You're not invited to the party that we're gonna have either.
The baby shower for Phoebe.
Wow. That so doesn't sound like something I want to do. Later.
I can't believe I'm going to have a party!
Ha, ha. That's so great. A party!
- I don't know why. - Oh.
- 我也不懂 - 噢
This is what I got going for the party so far liquor-wise.
- Get a lot of liquor. - Great. Great.
- 买一大堆酒 - 很好
Okay, now, uh, in terms of the invite list, obviously I got you, me and Chandler.
至于邀请名单有你 我 钱德
And I'm invite Gunther because, well, we've been talking pretty loud.
Oh, listen. I know it's your party...
...but I'd really like to limit the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.
Yeah. Tell you what. Let's not invite any anthropologists, okay?
Just the dinosaur dudes.
Okay, we'll need a six-pack of Zima.
Hey, guys, what are you doing?
Oh, just planning my bachelor party with my best man.
Yeah, well, good luck trying to top the last one.
I don't think it's gonna be that difficult, considering this one won't take place...
...in the basement of a Pizza Hut. Heh.
Oh, I'm Ross, I'm Ross.
I'm too good for the Hut. I'm too good for the Hut.
Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Uh, everything so far sounds great, Joey.
Just remember, keep it on the mellow side, okay?
Just a couple guys hanging out playing poker.
- No strippers or anything, okay? - You got it.
- 不要找脱衣舞娘 好吗？ - 没问题
- Okay, see you later. - Yeah.
- 好的 待会见 - 耶
Ha, ha. Have fun planning your mellow party.
There's gonna be strippers there.
He didn't say anything about no strippers.
- He just said, "No strippers." - Oh. I chose not to hear that.
- 他刚刚才说不要的 - 我当作没听到
Look what I got, look what I got, look what I got.
Can you believe they made these for little people?
Aw. Little Village People.
Aw, okay. Look at this one. This is my favorite.
好 你看这件 我最喜欢这件
Oh, that is so sweet.
Phoebe's gonna love dressing them in these.
Huh. Except, uh, Phoebe's not gonna be the one who gets to dress them.
I guess she's not gonna get to keep the babies.
Oh, my God, we are throwing the most depressing baby shower.
Wait a minute. Unless we give her all gifts that she can use...
...after she's done being pregnant. Like, um, regular coffee. Tequila.
Oh, and somebody can get her those leather pants she's always wanted.
Oh, she's gonna love that.
What the hell is this?
You actually thought it'd make me feel better?
To give me something I can't even use for another two months?
All right, what's my next present?
Hey, listen, man, about the stripper...
- Yeah? - Good call.
- 怎样？ - 叫得好
A little announcement. A little announcement.
I've decided that my best man is my best friend Gunther.
What's my last name?
Thanks for not marrying Rachel.
Oh, hey, Gunther. Don't forget your shirt.
Hey. Hey, what are those?
Little party favors. Check it out.
Okay, little announcement.
Just want everybody to know the position of my best man is still open.
And, uh, you know, so is the position of the bride.
Smooth, man. Yeah. You got some chili on your neck.
Well, I just want to say thanks, everyone. This was great.
Okay? And hey, I'll see you guys Monday morning.
- Thanks, Joey. - Oh, hey. Don't forget your shirt.
- 乔伊 谢了 - 别忘了拿衣服
Ahem. Okay. Hey, museum geeks. Party's over.
好了 博物馆怪胎 派对结束了
Okay, wave bye-bye to the nice lady. There you go.
Back to your parents' basement. All right.
Come on, boys, come on out. Here you go.
Oh. Look at the birdies.
- Are those yours? - Yeah.
- 那些是你的？ - 是的
Wow, I didn't know they let you keep chickens and ducks as pets?
Oh, yeah, yeah. And I got the duck totally trained too.
Watch this. Stare at the wall.
You are really good at that.
So I had fun tonight.
You throw one hell of a party.
Thanks, thanks. Yeah, it was great meeting you.
And listen, if any of my friends ever get married or have a birthday or a Tuesday...
要是我有朋友要结婚 或是过生日 过星期二…
- Yeah, that'd be great. - Okay. Ha, ha.
So, I guess, um, good night.
Oh, unless you, uh... Unless you want to hang around.
- Yeah? - Yeah. I'll let you play with my duck.
The stripper stole the ring!
Chandler, get up, get up! The stripper stole the ring!
钱德 起床 舞娘把戒指偷走了
- What? - The ring is gone!
- 什么？ - 戒指被偷了
Oh. Okay, just, like, give me a minute to wake up for this.
You lost the ring. You're the worst best man ever.
Dude, this isn't funny. What am I gonna do?
I go to sleep last night, everything's cool.
I wake up this morning, the stripper's gone, and the ring is gone!
等我醒来 舞娘不见了 戒指也不见了
- You slept with the stripper? - Of course!
- 你跟她上床？ - 废话
Ahem. I wanted to apologize if I, you know, seemed a tad edgy yesterday...
You know, it's just the hormones. You know?
- No, we... Hormones. Yeah. - Hormones.
- 别这样 我们… - 荷尔蒙嘛
Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you. It was just... It was so sweet.
Wow, you seem to be doing much better.
- That's great. How are things going? - Good.
- 太好了 你现在怎样？ - 很好
No, but... Okay, it feels like everything's been about me lately.
So, what's happening with you?
Oh. Well, actually, we were just talking about me not going to Ross' wedding.
- Oh. - It just might be too hard...
- 有那段过往 - 我可能…
...given the history and all that.
Wow, this reminds me of the time when I was, um, living on the street.
And this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.
Well, how is this like that?
Well, let's see. It's not really like that.
Because, you see, that was an actual problem.
And, uh, yours is just, like, a bunch of high-school crap...
...that nobody really gives... Yeah.
Well, I'm sorry. I just thought...
All right, here come the waterworks.
Oh. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I called the company that sent her, and they don't care.
And I called 911 and they yelled at me.
If this isn't an emergency, then what is?
- Hey, guys. - Hey.
- 嘿 两位 - 嘿
I just wanted to thank you for last night. What a great party.
And the guys from work had a blast.
You know, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before.
Yeah, and another one had never been to a party before, so...
So, uh, hey, that wedding ring, huh?
- Man, that is nice. - Yeah. Yeah, right?
- 可真漂亮 - 漂亮吧
Yeah, I was thinking I might pick one of those babies up for myself.
Where might one get one of those?
That ring, when my grandmother first came to this country...
...that ring and the clothes on her back were all she had with her.
So you might say that the ring is irreplaceable.
Oh, absolutely. It's been in my family for generations.
And every bride who's worn it has lived a long and happy life.
So you might say it's a magic ring.
Yeah, the stripper stole it.
My ring? My wedding ring?
The stripper stole my wedding ring?
How? How could this happen?
Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey, Joey, why don't you be my best man."
原因就在于你说了 "乔伊 你来当我的伴郎吧"
All right, all right. Fine. I'm gonna call the cops.
Dude, I screwed up. You don't have to turn me in.
- Not on you, on the stripper. - Oh, yeah, well, I already did that.
- 不是捉你 是捉那个舞娘 - 我试过了
They said they're gonna look into it right after they solve all the murders...
Okay, we'll call the company that sent her.
They wouldn't give me her name or number.
They said if I bother them again, they'd call the police.
I said, "You talk to the police, you tell them I'm missing a ring."
So, what, Joey? What are you telling me? That there's nothing we can do?
- How could this happen? - Look, Ross, I am so, so sorry.
- 怎么会这样？ - 罗斯 我真的很抱歉
Well, what if we just, uh, called her...
...used a fake name and had her come to my office?
Oh, that sounds like fun, but we got a ring to find!
Here's your tea, Phoebe.
Oh, thanks. That's sweet.
- Good. - So glad you like it.
- 那就好 - 你喜欢就好
What? She made the tea.
No, I think I just had a contraction.
- You what? - My God.
- 什么？ - 天哪
Yeah, I thought I felt one a couple minutes ago.
- And now I know that definitely was one. - Well, you can't have the baby here!
- 这次绝对错不了 - 你不能在这里生
I haven't sterilized the apartment since the guys moved out!
It's okay. We're gonna be okay.
You know what? It's okay. I'm gonna boil some water and just rip up some sheets.
Ow, it's all right. It's probably false labor.
They said that, that can happen near the end. So just...
- Somebody get the book. - Rachel, get the book.
- 去拿书来 - 瑞秋 拿书来
The book. Okay. Okay. Here.
- The Bible? - I don't know!
- 《圣经》？ - 我哪知啊
All right. Okay, okay. This is great.
Uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk.
And when she comes in, hopefully she won't recognize you because...
Well, why would she?
Uh, okay. And then you buzz Ross and I.
You be Mr. Gonzales, and I'll be Mr. Wong.
STRIPPER: Anybody call for security?
Okay. Which one of you guys is Gunther Central Perk?
Where's my ring? My dead grandmother's wedding ring! Where is it? Where is it?
Way to be cool, man.
- What's he talking about? - Oh!
There was a ring in a box on my nightstand.
After you left, it was gone.
Wait, you guys think I stole some ring?
We know you took it! So just save yourself the time and confess.
定是你偷的 少废话 从实招来
Okay, Who are you, the Hardy Boys?
I don't need to steal some stupid ring.
I make $1,600 a week doing what I do.
Any of you guys make that?
I don't get it. It was in my room all night. If she didn't take it...
...and I didn't take it and you didn't take it. Then who did?
她没拿 我没拿 你没拿 那是谁拿的？
Shh. We're trying to think.
I still don't get how you know when it's false labor.
Well, do you see any babies?
- How do you feel? - Okay, I guess. I mean...
I guess I know it's going to be over soon so...
But isn't that a good thing?
- I mean, you said you were sick of this. - I know.
- 你说你受够了 - 我知道
It's just usually, when you're done with the pregnant thing...
...then you get to do the mom thing.
I'm gonna be, you know, sitting around in my leather pants, drinking tequila.
Some moms do that.
Yeah, that's even sadder.
Look, I know what I got myself into, you know?
It's just that now that they're in me, it's like...
It's like I know them, you know, and...
It just not gonna be easy when, you know, these little babies have to go away.
But it's not like you're not gonna have anything.
I mean, you're gonna have nieces and nephews.
In some ways, that's even better.
- Yeah, okay. - No, really.
- 少来 - 不 是真的
I mean, you're not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college.
Or yelling at them when they're bad.
You know? Or deciding to put them on Ritalin...
...when they just won't calm down.
You're gonna be the one they come to when they run away from home.
And the one they talk to about sex.
You just get to be cool Aunt Phoebe.
Yeah, and you know what else? Oh, my God, are they going to love you.
They are going to love me.
Thanks, you guys. Again.
- Thanks. Oh! - What? Oh, God.
- 谢谢 喔… - 怎么了？
- Ah! - Oh, my God.
- 怎么了？ - 天哪
Got you again. You're so easy.
- If anything should happen to him... - Joey, the vet said it's a simple procedure.
- 要是他发生什么事… - 乔伊 兽医说手术很简单
So? Things can go wrong. You don't know. What if he doesn't make it?
- He will, Joe. - Yeah, but what if he doesn't?
- 他会的 - 要是没有呢？
He's such a good duck.
I'm so worried about him.
Somebody lose a ring?
Oh, my God. Thank you. Thank you so much. Aah!
天哪 谢谢你 谢谢
He's doing just fine. You'll see him in a bit.
他很好 正在休息 你们可以去见他
Oh, hey, listen, Ross, thanks for being so cool about this.
听着 罗斯 谢谢你这么好脾气
- No, that's all right. - No, it's not.
- 没关系 - 当然有关系
I mean, you made me your best man and I totally let you down.
- Hey, come on. It's not your fault. - Yeah, it is.
- 又不是你的错 - 当然是
You wouldn't have lost the ring, right?
You know what? Ross, you were right from the start.
- He should be your best man. - No, you should.
- 他才应该当你的伴郎 - 不 应该你当
- Look, don't argue with me. - Hey, hey, hey.
- 别吵了 - 嘿
I get to choose my best man.
I want both you guys.
Both you guys should be up there with me.
I mean, you two are my...
I mean, I'm lucky to have just one good...
I got to go check something, okay?
- What a baby. - Total wuss.
- 真孩子气 - 有够爱哭的