The old condom ring in the leather just doesn't say "cool" anymore.
Rachel, you just put an empty carton back in the fridge.
I know, but the garbage was full.
Have you ever taken out the trash?
Well, I thought you liked doing it.
- Third door on the left. - Right!
- 左边第三个门 - 好
What are you doing?
It's a little old but...
You're clogging up the chute I just unclogged.
I'm sorry. I don't come in here a lot.
Aw, of course not. You're a little princess.
Daddy, buy me a pizza.
Daddy, buy me a candy factory.
Daddy, make the cast of Cats sing "Happy Birthday" to me.
爸爸 叫"猫"的演员 帮我唱"生日快乐歌"
You think you can come here...
...make a mess and a big man in coveralls will clean it up?
Think of someone else for a change.
God, if you're going to cry about it!
- Whoa, whoa! Treeger made you cry? - Yes.
- 崔格把你气哭了？ - 对
He said really mean things that were only partly true.
I'll teach him a lesson.
Joey, don't. Let's forget about it.
乔伊 不要 我看还是算了
That's easy for you to say. You weren't almost just killed!
All right, that's it. School is in session!
Is this a gym card?
Oh, yeah, gym member.
I try to go four times a week, but I've missed...
...the last 1200 times.
So why don't you quit?
You don't think I've tried?
You think I like having $50 a month taken from my account?
They make you go all the way down there.
They use all these phrases and peppiness to confuse you.
And then they bring out Maria.
- Who is Maria? - Oh, Maria!
- 谁是玛丽亚？ - 玛丽亚
You can't say no to her.
She's like this lycra, spandex -covered, gym treat.
Do you need me to go with you and hold your hand?
- No. - You're strong enough to face her?
- 不用 - 你可以单独应付她？
Oh, no. You'll have to come.
Hold on. I'll get the plunger.
Hey. You hold on. You made my friend Rachel cry.
So you'll go and apologize to her...
...unless you want me to call the landlord.
And tell him what?
Maybe you haven't heard of "not making girls cry."
Maybe you haven't heard of the Rent Stabilization Act of 1968.
I have actually not heard of that.
Your friends are violating it.
I've been nice until now, but I don't need this grief.
I'm telling the landlord...
...Monica's illegally subletting her grandmother's place.
Your friends are out of here, pal.
Why don't you tell me something I don't know?
Somebody tell me I don't have to work today.
My first massage is this incredibly gorgeous guy.
Every time I see him, I want to...
...do things to him I can't charge for.
So do them for free.
No, it is forbidden.
No, no. Mrs. Potter fires people for messing around with clients.
And it's against my oath as a masseuse.
They make you take one?
No, I made myself take one.
No fooling around with clients...
...and, um, always be prepared.
That one's from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Why not give him to someone else?
No, I can handle it. I'm a professional.
Pheebs, is that a new ankle bracelet?
You got a pedicure.
Your feet are all dressed up.
That's the only part he can see when he's on the table!
You're going to do some feet flirting!
I don't know what you're talking about. Heh.
How do you explain the toe ring?
It's Arabian Princess Day at work. Leave me alone!
My hero! What happened?
Well, I told him no one treats my friends like that.
And he better apologize. See you!
- What did he say? - Uh...
- 他怎么说？ - 哦…
He wouldn't apologize, because you're living here illegally.
Instead, he'll evict you. See you later!
- You got us evicted? - I told you not to go down there.
- 你害我们要被赶走？ - 我就叫你不要去找他
He made Rachel cry!
Rachel always cries!
You go down there, and you suck up to him.
You suck like you've never sucked before!
All right, I'll try.
If I can't, you stay with us till you get settled.
- Go! - All right, all right.
- 去啦 - 好啦
I'll have to check first, but he'll be cool.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Remember what we talked about. You got to be strong.
Don't you want a washboard stomach...
...and rock -hard pecs?
No, I want a flabby gut and saggy man breasts.
- Good. That's good. - Okay.
- 好 很好 - 好的
I want to quit the gym.
I want to quit the gym.
You do realize you won't have access to our new Swedish spa?
I want to quit the gym.
Dave in the Membership Office handles quitters.
Excuse me. Are you a member?
- No. - Sorry. Members only.
- 不是 - 抱歉 会员才能进去
I want to quit the gym!
It's okay, man. Be strong.
So are you a member of any gym?
No, and I'm not going to be. So save your little speech.
我没有 也不会 别白费唇舌了
Could you come here?
Wow. You have really pretty feet.
These old things? Ha.
Would you spend time on my sciatic area? It's killing me.
By sciatic, you mean...
...the towel -covered portion?
Sure, I can do that.
Because, um, the muscles in the sciatic area can get...
...real nice and tight.
Yeah. So, um, tell me, Rick, how did you injure the area?
A 16 -hour sit -in for Greenpeace.
- Did you just bite me? - No!
- 你刚才咬我？ - 没有
Please don't kick the girls out. This was my fault.
You want me to kick you guys out instead?
You can't. Where would the chick and the duck live?
不行 那小鸡 小鸭要住哪里？
- You have pets? - No. No, no, no.
- 你们养宠物？ - 没有
Those are, uh, nicknames.
I'm the chick, and Chandler's the duck.
Huh. I would've thought it was the other way around.
Come on. Let the girls stay.
I'll do whatever you want.
Really? You'd do anything?
- I got something. - What is it?
- 我知道你能做什么了 - 什么？
Can you be my dancing partner?
That's not prison lingo, is it?
- His dancing partner? - Yeah.
There's this superintendents' dance, "The Super Ball."
对 他们有一个管理员舞会 叫"管舞会"
He wants to impress Marge, this lady super he likes.
Why not practice with a girl?
He's not good enough to dance with girls yet.
He almost danced me right down that garbage chute.
Would you let it go already? You're fine.
- Hey. - So did you quit?
- 嗨 - 你退出了吗？
Couldn't leave Ross there without a spotter.
Wait, now, so you joined the gym?
And that's funny, why?
I was just, you know, picturing you working out, and...
They'll take $50 a month from our accounts for the rest of our lives.
You could actually go to the gym.
Or we could go to the bank...
...close our accounts and cut them off at the source.
Oh, man! But then we won't be bank buddies.
Now there's two reasons.
You guys, remember that cute client I told you about?
- Where? - On the tushy.
- 咬哪里？ - 屁屁
And that's not against your oath?
I know, but the moment I touch him...
我知道 对不起嘛 但是一模到他
...I want to throw out my old oath and take a new, dirty one.
Next time, try to distract yourself.
Like when I'm doing something exciting...
...and I don't want to get too...
I try and think of other things. Like, uh, sandwiches...
...and, uh, baseball...
...and, uh, Chandler.
- Thank you. - Oh, no, thank you.
- 谢谢你啊 - 不 谢谢你
All right, I'm here. Let's get this over with.
...just follow my lead.
Don't we need to do some kind of preparation first?
Like get really drunk?
Come on. Hey, just put your arms around me.
No. It's okay. But if I'm Marge...
...my breasts are coming out my back.
Ah, forget it! I'm not being any good at this.
I'm just a big potato with arms and legs and a head.
Come on, man. You're not a potato.
I'm sure as hell not a dancer. It's no use.
Marge will never go for me.
Come on, Treeger. Don't say that.
You just need more practice.
Come on. Let's try it again.
Plus, it was probably mostly my fault anyway.
I'm not that comfortable dancing with a... Whee -hee!
So how goes the dancing? Gay yet?
Ha -ha -ha. You guys owe me bigtime.
- What? - You just did a little dancy thing.
- 什么？ - 你刚才在跳舞
- No, I didn't. - Yes, you did.
- 我哪有 - 你有
- You did a little hop. - You are so enjoying this.
And it wasn't a hop. It was a pas de bourrée.
You know the words!
You are so into this!
Maybe I'm enjoying it a little. I'm getting pretty good at it.
This is so sweet. Joey, our little twinkletoes.
This isn't some kind of girly dance.
It's like a sport, it's manly.
- Show me some "manly" moves. - All right.
- 来 秀几个阳刚的舞步 - 好
I don't know how to lead.
We'd like to close our accounts.
Close your accounts? Is there a problem?
- No, no. - No, we'd just like to close them.
- 没有 - 没有 我们只是想结掉
Ms. Lambert handles all our closures.
Would you come over here, please?
I want to quit the bank!
Rick playing baseball. He slides into second.
Maybe even his pants come down a little.
Okay, sandwiches. Sandwiches. Um...
Okay, on a plate.
Maybe Rick's pants come down a little. No! No!
Okay, Chandler. Ooh, that's working!
好 钱德 有用耶
Chandler's ankle hair.
Okay, you're all set. Heh.
Oh, wow! That was amazing!
- Was that really just an hour? - Yeah.
- 真的只有l小时吗？ - 对
In really long hour -world.
I have an enormous crush on you.
But since you're a client, I can't ask you out...
...even though you give me the feelings.
Wow. I had no idea.
I can always find another masseuse.
Suddenly I'm very aware I'm naked.
Mr. Simon's been waiting... Oh, my God!
Why wasn't I offered that?
I'd definitely pay more for that.
We have rules here. This is not that kind of place.
菲比 这里是有规矩的 我们不搞色情
I know, but this isn't how it looks at all...
...because Rick is, um, my husband.
You'd better tell his other wife.
She called three times asking where he is.
Yes, I will tell her.
- So you didn't leave the bank? - No.
- 你们没有结掉户头？ - 没有
And somehow we ended up with a joint checking account.
What will you ever use that for?
To pay for the gym.
So I had a great day.
Rick and I hit it off. We were making out.
Then my boss walked in and fired me for being a whore.
- You got fired? - Oh, my gosh!
- 你被炒鱿鱼？ - 天哪
It's so weird. I have never been fired from anything before.
I started walking around, not knowing what to do next.
I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages.
Then these policemen thought I was a whore too.
It's really been a bad day, whore -wise.
Hey, Duck. Is Chick here?
Yeah, Bunny Rabbit.
Ready for our last practice?
We're not getting that spin right, because my place is small.
- Want to use our place? - No, I had another idea.
- 要去我家吗？ - 不 我有别的主意
That was incredible!
That was amazing! We totally nailed it!
太精彩了 非常完美 太棒了
Hey, listen. Thanks a lot, Tribbiani. Heh.
Oh, my God! Look at the time.
I got to catch the bus to the ball.
- Good luck. - Yeah.
- 祝你好运 - 好的
Unless you want to practice the fox trot. Or the tango?
Aw, thanks, but no.
You see, I think I'm ready to dance with girls.
- Go get them, Treeger. - Right.
- 去迷倒她们吧 - 好的
You want to come? Marge has a friend.
- Really? - Yeah.
- 真的？ - 真的
You'd dance good with her. She's the same size as me.
You've got great experience.
Let's see. Reason for leaving last job?
They thought I was a whore.
Okay. We'll give you a call if anything comes up.
Great. Thank you very much.