老友记 第六季 Friends Season 6 第17集: 临危不惧，处变不惊 The One With The Unagi
上映日期: 1,999
语言: 英语
影片类型: 喜剧 / 爱情
导演: Kevin Bright
演员: 詹妮弗·安妮斯顿 / 柯特妮·考克斯 / 丽莎·库卓 / 马特·勒布朗 / 马修·派瑞 / 大卫·休默
台词
（中央咖啡厅）
Hey, remember when I had a monkey?
嘿 记得我之前不是养过猴子吗？
- Yeah. - Mm-hm.
- 对 - 嗯
Yeah. What was I thinking?
对 我在想什么？
Hey, so, what's with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong?
小费怎么才百分之二十？我做错事了吗？
Twenty percent is a pretty generous tip.
百分之二十很大方了 乔伊
You know what's more generous than that? Fifty percent.
你知道多少更大方吗？百分之五十
- You know what's even more generous? - I see where you're going.
- 你知道怎样更大方？ - 我知道你想说什么了
- What's up with the greed, Joe? - All right, look, I'm sorry, you guys.
- 你干嘛这么贪心？乔伊 - 好吧 对不起 只是...
It's just that I gotta get these new headshots made...
我得照新的大头照
and they're really expensive, you know.
但是好贵
I'm down to like three.
我只剩三张了
Actually, two, because one of them I kind of blackened in some teeth.
其实是两张 有一张的牙齿 被我涂黑...
Why'd I do that? Ugh.
我秀逗啊
Well, isn't there something you can do to earn a little extra money?
你不能设法多赚一点吗？
I mean, can't you pick up, I don't know, an extra shift here?
例如在这里多轮一班
Or, you know, I used to beg for money.
或是我以前当过乞丐
Of course, it helps if you've got, you know, a little of this going on.
如果能这样更有用
- Wow, I still have it. Ha, ha. - Yeah.
- 我现在还会 - 对
Wait, don't you have an audition today? Yeah. Maybe you'll get that job.
等等 你今天不是有试镜？也许你会被桃中
Oh, ha-ha-ha.
哈哈哈
Oh, wait a minute.
等等
I used to get medical experiments done on me all the time.
我以前常参加医学实验
Ah, finally, an explanation.
难怪变成这样
No, I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember?
不是 我以前常靠这个赚钱 记得吗？
Let's see. Uh... Well, I don't wanna donate sperm again.
我想想 我不想再捐精子了
I really prefer doing that at the home office, you know?
那种事在家做比较好
Ooh, ooh, maybe they want some of my blood or spit or something, huh?
也许医院会要我的血或口水
- Joey. - Yeah?
- 乔伊？ - 怎样？
What did I tell you about talking to your friends while you're working?
我说过工作时跟朋友聊天会怎样
Uh, do it?
干得好？
That guy's been waiting for his coffee for 10 minutes.
那个人等咖啡等了10分钟
He's complained about you three times.
他抱怨了你三次
Now, where was I?
我讲到哪里？
老友记 第六季 第十七集
- Hey. - Hey.
- 嘿 - 嘿
- Hey, what have you been up to? - Oh. We went to a self-defense class today.
- 你们在忙什么？ - 我们今天去学防身术
Wow.
哇
Yeah. Kicking a guy in the crotch all morning really takes it out of you.
对 踢了一早上的鼠蹊部 什么鸟气都没了
Takes it out of you? Heh.
那是你们
- No, now we can kick anybody's ass. - Yeah.
- 现在我们谁都能修理 - 没错
After one class? I don't think so.
上一堂课之后？才怪
What, you wanna see me self-defend myself?
你想看我自卫吗？
Go over there and pretend you're a sexual predator.
去假装你是性侵犯
Go on, I dare you.
有种就去
Of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming.
你当然可以抵挡已知的攻击
That's not enough.
但那样还不够
Look, I studied karate for a long time.
听着 我学了很久的控手道
And there's a concept you should really be familiar with.
有个概念你们一定要了解
It's what the Japanese call unagi.
日文叫做Unagi
Isn't that a kind of sushi?
那不是一种寿司吗？
- No, it's a concept. - Yeah, it is, it is. It's freshwater eel.
- 那是一种概念 - 是寿司没错 那是鳗鱼
All right, maybe it means that too.
或许是同一个字...
Oh, I would kill for a salmon-skin roll right now.
我现在好想吃鲑鱼卷寿司
You know what? Fine, get attacked. I don't even care.
好 被攻击活该 我才不在乎
Come on, Ross, we're sorry. Please tell us what it is.
好啦 罗斯 对不起 快告诉我们
Unagi is a state of total awareness.
Unagi是种全知的境界
Okay? Only by achieving true unagi...
只有达到真正的Unagi
can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you.
才能应付任何可能的危险
In case someone's trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat...
你是说有人要偷你的竹席
or your kettle of fish?
或鱼壶的时候吗？
All I'm saying is, it's one thing being prepared...
我是说应付
for an attack against, like, each other.
彼此攻击是一回事
Whole other story being prepared for an attack, I don't know...
应付偷袭又是另一回事
A surprise!
好惊讶
All right, you knew that was coming, but that doesn't mean you have unagi.
好 这次你们料到了 但不表示你们有Unagi
Ooh, if we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half-hour.
你知道吗？现在订位 半小时后就能吃到鳗鱼
You know what?
算了
- Hey, hey, is Monica here? - No.
- 嘿...摩妮卡在吗？ - 不在
Okay, look, I need your help. I don't know what to get for Valentine's Day.
帮个忙 我不知道该送什么情人节礼物
Well, Valentine's Day was two weeks ago, so I wouldn't get her a calendar.
情人节已经过两星期了 我不会送她日历
Heh. She was working on Valentine's Day, so we're celebrating it tonight.
她那天要上班 我们改今天过
Oh, hey, why don't you book a day for both of you at one of those romantic spas?
嘿 去帮你们一起订个SPA嘛
Ooh, Joey, that's actually a really good idea.
乔伊 这个主意很棒
Yeah, and of course, crotchless panties.
还有胯下开洞的内裤
Well, as appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend...
虽然她的男朋友觉得很诱人...
and her brother...
她哥哥也是
I can't. We promised we'd make each other gifts this year.
但我们说好今年要自己做礼物
- Oh, I love that. - You guys.
- 我喜欢 - 真好
You can't make crotchless panties? You take...
你不会做开洞的内裤？
- You take a pair of scissors and just cut... - Okay, okay, okay.
- 拿把剪刀给它剪... - 好了...
So making things, that sounds so much fun.
做礼物 听起来好好玩
I thought so too, until I papier-mached one of my eyes shut.
我也这么认为 直到我的眼睛糊到纸黏土
I love papier-mache. What did you make?
我喜欢纸黏土 你做了什么？
I made a:
我做了＠#%&!
- What is that? - Nothing.
- 那是什么？ - 什么也不是
Oh.
哦
So, what are you gonna do?
那你要怎么办？
Have you guys made anything that I could take credit for?
你们有没有做什么能借给我用？
Ooh, I have, I have. I started making these little sock bunnies.
我有我有 我做了袜子兔
Oh, for crying out loud.
了不起吧
Hey, wait a minute. That is my sock.
等等 那是我的袜子
Now it's your little bunny friend.
现在它是你的兔兔朋友
Okay.
好
This actually is a:
这是一个＠#%&!
- Hey. - Hey, honey.
- 嘿 - 嘿 甜心
Can I ask you a question about the Valentine's Day gifts?
我能不能问你情人节礼物的事？
- Oh, yeah. - Do we have to make the entire thing?
- 可以啊 - 全都要自己做吗？
Yes. Why, did you forget to make yours?
当然 你忘了做吗？
Of course not.
当然没有
I just have to, uh, go over to the place where I made it and pick it up.
我只是得去做的地方拿回来
- Okay. - Okay.
- 好 - 好
I can't wait. It's gonna be the best Valentine's Day ever.
我好期待 这会是最棒的情人节
I can't believe it. Make the presents. Make the presents.
我居然忘了 要做礼物...
- What? - Just so excited to make the presents!
- 什么？ - 要做礼物好兴奋喔
Shoot.
真是的
Hi, I'm Joey Tribbiani.
你好 我是乔伊崔比亚尼
And with all due respect, I'd like to donate some fluids.
我想捐赠一些体液
We're at the end of one of our research cycles...
我们的研究刚告一段落
so we're not looking for applicants now.
目前没有在找人
That's too bad. I've kind of been saving up.
真可惜 我存了一阵子
Uh, you sure there's no studies I can participate in?
真的没有我能参加的研究？
Well, here's a schedule of what's coming up.
这是接下来的一览表
Ah, thanks.
谢谢
Oh, but this one starts now.
可是这个已经开始了
That one is available now, but only identical twins are eligible.
没错 但只限双胞胎
- It's a twin study. - But it's $2000.
- 那是双胞胎研究 - 但是有两千块钱
- Sorry. - Oh.
- 抱歉 - 哦
Well, how about this one?
那这个怎么样？
"Testing the Effects of Joey Tribbiani on Attractive Nurse Receptionists."
测试乔伊崔比亚尼对美女接待的影响力实验呢？
We already got the results back on that one, and they're not good.
结果已经出来了 不太理想
- That was good. - Wasn't that a blast?
- 那真的不错 - 很棒对不对？
- Danger! Danger! - God, Ross!
- 危险 危险 - 天啊 罗斯
What the hell was that?
你搞什么啊？
A lesson in the importance of unagi.
让你们认识Unagi的重要
You're a freak.
你这个变态
Perhaps.
或许吧
Now, I'm curious.
我很好奇
At what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?
你们那样哀哀叫 什么时候才要修理我？
All right, so we weren't prepared.
好吧 我们没有准备
I'm sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point.
抱歉用这种方法传达我的重点
But, look, I just want you guys to be safe.
我是为你们的安全着想
Oh...
哦...
Danger!
危险
Ah, huh? Unagi.
嗯？Unagi
（选角经纪公司）
Two thousand bucks is a lot of money.
两千块好多
Boy, I wish I had a twin.
真想有个双胞胎兄弟
Where could I find someone...
哪里才能找到
who looks exactly like me?
跟我长得一样的人？
Hey.
嘿
Chandler.
钱德
I sensed it was you.
我感觉到是你
What?
什么？
Unagi Unagi.
I'm always aware.
我永远全知
Okay, are you aware that unagi is an eel?
你知道Unagi是鳗鱼吗？
- What's up? - I can't figure out what to make Monica.
- 什么事？ - 我不知道该为摩妮卡做什么礼物
Oh. Why don't you make her one of your little jokes?
你可以讲个笑话
I'm going crazy, okay?
我快急死了 好吗？
Do you have anything around here that looks homemade?
你有没有状似自制的东西？
Oh, you know what? She'd love this.
知道吗？这个她一定会喜欢
It's an exact replica of Apollo 8. I made it in the sixth grade.
这是阿波罗八号的模型 我六年级时做的
Yeah, I guess I could use that. I could say, "Your love sends me to the moon."
这个也许可以用 我可以说你的爱让我飞上月亮
Yeah, yeah. Except Apollo 8 didn't actually land on the moon.
对 可是阿波罗八号没有登陆月球
But you could write, um:
不过你可以写
"Your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely."
"你的爱 让我绕行月球两圈后顺利返航"
Wait, I can't give this to her.
等等 我不能送这个
- Why not? - It says "Captain Ross" on the side.
- 为什么？ - 因为旁边写着"罗斯队长"
- And it says "I hate Monica" on the bottom. - Oh.
- 底下写着"我讨厌摩妮卡" - 哦
- Danger! - Aah!
- 危险 - 危险
Ah. Salmon-skin roll.
鲑鱼卷寿司
Okay, okay.
好...
Yes, honey, I made it myself.
没错 甜心 这是我自己做的
I can't do it. I can't do it.
我剪不下去 我剪不下去
Oh, oh. A mixed tape. A mixed tape.
自己录的合辑...
- Hey, hi. - Hey.
- 嘿 嗨 - 嘿
- You ready to exchange gifts? - Sure. Okay, you go first.
- 准备交换礼物了吗？ - 当然 你先
- Okay, come here, come here. - Okay.
- 好 过来 - 好
Okay, now, it's not wrapped, because I just finished it.
我没有包装 因为我刚做好
Okay.
好吧
But I made you a tape of what I think are all romantic songs.
我录了一卷浪漫情歌给你
What a great gift.
好棒的礼物
Oh.
哦
Is "The Way You Look Tonight" on it?
有《你今晚的模样》吗？
Maybe. We'll have to listen and see.
或许听了就知道
- Oh, I love it. Thank you so much. Mwah. - Aw. Okay. Mwah.
- 我好喜欢喔 谢谢你 - 不客气
Okay, you ready to open yours?
你要拆你的了吗？
- Yeah. - Okay.
- 对 - 好
It's a sock bunny.
是袜子兔
Ha, ha. Yeah, yeah. Remember how I call you "bunny"?
对 我不是有叫你小兔兔？
Not really.
有吗？
Well, I did one time. And I wanna start doing it more.
我叫过一次 以后我想多叫
- That's what this is about. - I see.
- 所以做了袜子兔 - 我懂了
You know, um, Phoebe makes sock bunnies.
菲比也有做袜子兔
No. No, she doesn't.
不 没有
Phoebe, what she makes, that's... They're sock rabbits.
菲比做的是袜子兔子
They're completely different. Okay, okay.
完全不一样...好啦...
Okay, I didn't make it. I'm sorry. I totally forgot about tonight...
这不是我做的 对不起 我完全忘了今晚
and that we were supposed to make the presents.
和做礼物的事
- Oh, it's okay. I don't... - No, no, it's not okay. It's not.
- 没关系 我... - 不 当然有关系
I mean, you're so incredible.
你那么...你那么用心
You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me.
花那么多心血录情歌给我
You know, I'm just gonna... I'm gonna make this up to you. I will.
我要补偿你 我一定会的
I am going to cook you anything you want in here.
我会下厨房煮你想吃的菜
And I'm going to do anything you want in there.
进卧房玩你想玩的花样
Well, I did put a lot of thought into the tape.
我的确花了很多心血
Wow.
哇
- You are way too young to have seen that. - Oops. Ha, ha.
- 你还小 不该看的 - 哦 哈哈
Your birthday's in a month and a half.
再1个半月就是你的生日
What do you say I forget to get you a present for that too?
要是我又忘记准备礼物呢？
You are totally and completely 100 percent forgiven.
我百分之百完全原谅你
- We have got to wash that. - Yeah.
- 那个得拿去洗 - 没错
Hey, do you remember that jacket that you loved so much...
你不是看上一件外套
- that you thought was too expensive? - You have done enough.
- 又嫌它太贵？ - 你对我已经够好了
Ha, ha. I'm gonna wake up early and get it for you.
我要一早跑去买来送你
No, you don't have... Get it in black, not brown.
你不必...买黑色 别买咖啡色
- Oop. Your cake is ready. - Oop.
- 你的蛋糕好了 - 噢
It's like that old saying, "Have sex, eat some cake."
俗话说得好"做做爱 吃吃蛋糕"
Hey, Mon. Hey, Chan. Just getting a soda.
小摩 老钱 我来拿汽水
Who the hell are you?
你是谁？
I'm Joey.
乔伊啊
How are you doing?
你好吗？
No, no, no!
错错错
"How you doing?"
"是你好吗？"
"How you doing?" Damn it, Carl. Go wait in the hall.
你好吗... 真是的 去走廊等我
- Look, I got to apologize on behalf of Carl. - Who the hell is Carl?
- 我代替卡尔道歉 - 卡尔是谁？
Oh, did I not mention?
我没说吗？
Carl is a guy I hired to be my identical twin for a medical research project.
我找卡尔来演我的双胞胎兄弟 好参加医学研究
You know, sometimes the good ideas are just right in front of you, aren't they?
有时妙计就在眼前 是吧？
Look, I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might work.
我知道很扯 但搞不好会成功
But the only problem is Carl's acting is:
唯一的问题是卡尔的演技...
The only problem?
唯一的问题？
Yeah. He's the reason I didn't get that big Minute Maid commercial.
对 他害我两年前 痛失那只果汁大广告 记得吗？
We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
我们演兄弟 他却搞砸了
Hey. Can I get a little piece of that cake?
嘿 我可以吃一小块蛋糕吗？
Pizza. We like pizza. Get out!
彼萨 我们爱吃彼萨 滚出去
- Pat Sajak? - Yep.
- 派特赛贾克？ - 可以
- Alex Trebek? - Oh, of course.
- 亚历崔贝克？ - 当然
- Chuck Woolery? - Definitely.
- 恰克乌勒利？ - 绝对行
Phoebe, you will not find a single game-show host...
所有的综艺节目主持人
whose ass I cannot kick.
我都能修理
- Say it. - Say we are unagi.
- 说 - 说我们是Unagi
It's not something you are, it's something you have.
不是你是不是 是你有没有
Say it.
快说
I could easily get out of this...
我可以轻易挣脱
but there's a chance you could get very, very hurt.
但你们可能会死得很惨
All right, Carl, we're next. Now, remember, what is this not gonna be?
好 卡尔 接着就是我们 记住 这次不能怎样？
- Another Minute Maid fiasco. - That's right.
- 重蹈那次果汁广告的覆辙 - 没错
And what are you not gonna do?
你不能怎样？
- I'm not gonna talk, because... - Ah. Damn it, Carl.
- 我不能讲话 因为... - 你还讲 卡尔
Can I have the next one, please?
给我下一组的资料...
Thank you.
谢谢
Joey and Tony Tribbiani.
乔伊和汤尼崔比亚尼
That's us.
我们就是
But, uh, this is a study for identical twins.
可是这是双胞胎的研究
That's right. Two thousand dollars.
没错 两千大洋
But you're not identical twins.
但你们不是双胞胎
Damn it, Carl.
都是你啦 卡尔
Oh, my good God.
我的天哪
Hey. Continuing the countdown of your favorite meals.
嘿 你最爱吃的食物倒数
Tonight, number three:
今晚 第三名
Macaroni and cheese with cut-up hot dogs.
起司通心粉加切丁的热狗
Look, you have done enough, okay? You have to stop this now.
你对我够好了 别再费心了
I will, but not tonight.
我会的 但不是今晚
For dinner music, I thought we could listen to that tape that you made me.
晚餐音乐就来听你录的带子
- Oh, the mixed tape. - Mm-hm.
- 喔 那卷合辑 - 嗯
# When I'm awfully low #
Oh. "The Way You Look Tonight" is on here.
刚好有收录《你今晚的模样》
Dance with me.
陪我跳舞
# I will feel a glow #
# Just thinking of you #
# And the way you look tonight #
You are just the sweetest.
你最好最好了
I love the way you look every night, Chandler.
你每晚的模样我都爱 钱德
That's why I made you this tape.
所以我录这卷带子给你
Happy birthday. Love, Janice. Mwah.
生日快乐 爱你的珍妮丝
No, you're the sweetest.
不 你最好最好了
Okay, ladies, that ends today's class. Let's remember, let's be safe out there.
小姐们 今天的课到此为止 记住 一定要平安
- Great class. Heh. - Thanks, man.
- 你教得真好 - 谢谢
Yeah, yeah. I was watching.
我看得很仔细
Um, hey, a couple of questions, though.
嘿 不过我有一些问题
Um, you know that last move...
刚才最后
where that woman tripped you and then pinned you to the floor?
那个女人把你绊倒 压在地上
What would you do next?
你接下来会怎么做？
Well, then she'd take her keys and jam them in your...
她会拿钥匙来刺...
No, no, no. What would you do next?
不是 是你会怎么做？
- Who, me, the attacker? - Yes, that's right.
- 你是说攻击者？ - 是的
Why?
干嘛？
I tried attacking two women. Did not work.
我想偷袭两个女人 却没成功
- What? - No, I mean, it's okay.
- 什么？ - 没关系 她们是我的朋友
I mean, they're my friends. In fact, I was married to one of them.
我还跟其中一个结过婚
Let me get this straight. You attacked your ex-wife?
你偷击你的前妻？
Oh, no, no, no. Heh.
不是...
I tried.
我尝试
But I couldn't. That's why I'm here.
却打不过她 所以才来找你
Maybe we could attack them together.
或许我们可以一起对付她们
That's a no.
你不要
I am so, so, so sorry.
我非常非常非常对不起
Uh-huh.
啊哈
Oh! And I will cook anything you want in here...
我会下厨房煮你想吃的菜
and do anything you want in there.
进卧房玩你想玩的花样
Yeah, you will, and are you kidding me?
你当然得煮 你想得美喔
Come on, Monica, it's our Valentine's Day.
别这样 这是我们的情人节
Please, please, please?
拜托啦？
- Okay. - Okay.
- 好吧 - 好吧
# My funny valentine #
# Sweet comic valentine You make me... #
- So are we going in there? - I am.
- 要进房间了吗？ - 我要
# Your looks are laughable #
Aha.
啊哈
Nowhere to run.
你们逃不掉了
I don't like sitting up here. I'm gonna go over...
我不喜欢坐这里 我要过去...
No, Rachel, they got here first.
瑞秋 是他们先来的
- Why is Ross doing that? - Danger!
- 罗斯在干嘛？ - 危险
Oh, my God. Why is he jumping on those women?
天哪 他干嘛扑向那两个女人？
We should help them.
我们应该去帮她们
I don't think they need any help.
我看她们不需要帮忙