老友记 第七季 Friends Season 7 第8集: 钱德不喜欢狗 The One Where Chandler Doesn’t Like Dogs

上映日期: 2,000

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 爱情

导演: Kevin Bright

演员: 詹妮弗·安妮斯顿 / 柯特妮·考克斯 / 丽莎·库卓 / 马特·勒布朗 / 马修·派瑞 / 大卫·休默

- Hey, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving. - Shh.
- 大家好 感恩节快乐 - 嘘
What, are we keeping Thanksgiving a secret this year?
不能让大家知道 今年有感恩节吗?
No, we're playing this game I learned at work.
不是 我们正在玩一个游戏
You have to name all the states in six minutes.
你得在六分钟内 写出美国各州州名
What? That's, like, insanely easy.
No, it's harder than it sounds. You always forget at least one.
事实上这个游戏很难 你总是会漏掉一个
Or in some cases, 14.
It's a stupid game and I wasn't playing against other people...
这太蠢了 我没有跟任何人玩
...so technically, I didn't lose.
You forgot 14 states?
Nobody cares about the Dakotas.
Oh, okay, time's up.
好了 时间到
All right, I got 48.
好了 我写出四十八州
Oh, that's not bad. Pheebs?
还不错 菲比呢?
Oh, I got tired of naming states, so I decided to list the types of celery.
我厌倦了写州名 所以决定写出各种芹菜的名字
And I have one, regular celery.
我写了一个 普通芹菜
Okay, so Rachel's got 48 and Phoebe has the lead in...
好 瑞秋写出四十八州 菲比在蔬菜名称方面…
...vegetables. Joey?
称霸 乔伊呢?
Say hello to the new champ of Chandler's dumb states game.
跟钱德的愚蠢州名游戏 新冠军打声招呼吧
- Wow, how many you got? - Fifty-six.
- 哇 你写了几个? - 五十六个
Hey, how is New England not a state?
Huh? They have a sports team.
Does South Oregon have a sports team?
There you go.
How come we have one extra place setting?
- Because you invited your assistant. - Oh, right, sorry. Tag's not coming.
- 你邀了你的助理过来 - 对了 抱歉 泰格不来了
His girlfriend came into town, so he's spending Thanksgiving with her.
他女朋友来了 所以他得去陪她
Oh, why didn't you tell me?
I made him his own individual sweet potato stuffed pumpkin.
我帮他做了专属的 番薯酿南瓜
Oh, well, I was going to, but then I figured, you know...
我本来想说 但我想…
...your food is so delicious and perfect...
你做的菜既好吃 又好看…
...you can never have too many of those pumpkin things.
我想多吃一点 你做的南瓜
You'd think I wouldn't enjoy that because it is so fake, ha, ha, but I still do.
你以为你拗得太硬 我会不相信
Regular celery.
Oh, I already have that.
Done, with time to spare.
好了 时间还剩下很多
- Ooh, this may be a new world's record. - You know, I hate to lecture you guys...
- 这可能是新世界记录 - 我讨厌对你们说教…
...but it's kind of disgraceful that a group of well-educated adults...
但这真的是太丢脸了 一群受过良好教育的成年人…
...and Joey, can't name all the states.
跟乔伊 无法写出全部的州名
You ever see a map or one of those round colorful things called a globe?
你们看过地图 或是圆圆而且色彩鲜艳 叫做"地球仪"的东西吗?
Uh, Magellan? You got 46 states.
- What? That's impossible. - Forty-six.
- 什么?那是不可能的 - 四十六州
Well, who's well-educated now, Mr. I-Forgot-Ten-States?
那个受过良好教育 写不出剩下十州州名的人是谁?
I'm out of oven space. I'm gonna go turn on Joey's.
烤箱太满了 我要借用乔伊的烤箱
Please, watch him. Do not let Joey eat any of the food.
拜托看好他 别让乔伊偷吃东西
I am only one man.
- Okay, time is up. - Give me another minute.
- 好了 时间到 - 再给我一分钟
Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay?
如果现在想不出来 你永远都想不出来 好吗?
That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.
那就是这个游戏好玩的地方 它会让你想要杀了自己
This is crazy. I can do this.
这太疯狂了 我一定答得出来
All right, uh, I bet I can get all 50, uh, before dinner.
好吧 我敢说我能在 吃晚餐前写出五十州的州名
Okay, but if you can't, no dinner.
好吧 但你写不出来就不能吃晚餐
You're on.
All right, don't look at my list, because there's a lot on there that you don't have.
别偷看我写的答案 里面有很多你写不出来的州名
Hey, did you guys know your oven doesn't work?
But the drawer full of takeout menus is okay, right?
装满外送菜单的抽屉 没坏吧?
- Ross, I'm gonna use yours, okay? - Shh.
- 罗斯 我要借用你的烤箱 - 嘘
Chandler, give me a hand.
钱德 快来帮我
Sure. Joey, do not let Ross look at any maps or the globe in your apartment.
乔伊 别让罗斯偷看地图 或你家的地球仪
Don't worry, Chandler. It's not a globe of the United States.
别担心 那又不是美国的地球仪
Hey, you guys, I'm gonna go out and take a walk.
嘿 我要去散个步
Phoebe, why is your bag moving?
菲比 你的包包为什么在动?
- Oh, it's not. - Seriously, it's moving.
- 才没有 - 它真的在动
- What the hell's in there? - It's just my knitting. That's all.
- 里面装了什么东西? - 只是我编织的东西而已
Yes, I knit this.
对 我织了这个
I'm very good.
Ross' apartment is nice. Why don't we hang out here more often?
罗斯的公寓很漂亮 为什么我们从不来这里混?
I don't know. Maybe because it smells weird.
It's like old pumpkins or something.
- That's my pie. - Which smells delicious.
- 那是我的派 - 这个味道好香
- Uh-oh. Uh-oh. - What?
- 噢 噢 - 怎么了?
We left Joey alone with the food.
Yep, yep, I knew it.
没错 我就知道
There he is...
...feeding stuffing to a dog.
Hi, Geller-Bing residence. How can I help?
你好 这里是盖勒及宾的家 有什么事吗?
Phoebe, why is there a dog in our apartment?
菲比 为什么我们家会有狗?
I'm sorry, who's this?
对不起 你是谁?
Phoebe, there's a dog sitting on my couch.
菲比 有只狗坐在我的沙发上
Tell her I'm allergic, and I will sue.
告诉她我对狗过敏 我会告她
- No, there's no dog here. - There is.
- 这里没有狗 - 不 真的有
He's black and white and shaggy.
他是黑白相间 而且毛很长
He's sitting next to Rachel and licking Rachel's hand.
他就坐在瑞秋旁边 正在舔她的手
Oh, my God. Where are you?
我的天啊 你在哪里?
I'll be right there.
They're here already? How are they doing this?
他们已经回来了? 他们怎么办到的?
Hi, Tag. What are you doing here?
嗨 泰格 你来这里做什么?
I, uh, wanted to see if your offer to spend Thanksgiving with you was still good.
我想知道你的邀请 是不是还有效
Well, sure. Come in.
当然 快进来
Well, what happened to your girlfriend?
We, uh, kind of broke up this morning.
- Oh, I'm sorry. - Yeah, so she went back to Ohio.
- 我很遗憾 - 所以她回俄亥俄去了
Ohio, thank you.
俄亥俄州 谢谢你
Huh. Where's the dog?
What dog? There's no dog here.
Yeah, that dog left.
Phoebe, open up.
菲比 快开门
There's no dog in here.
Phoebe, we can hear the dog barking.
菲比 我们听到了狗叫声
No, that's just me coughing.
不 那只是我的咳嗽声
Oh, good. There you are.
很好 你们回来了
Listen, um, I have a dog in my room.
听着 我房间里有只狗
What is it doing here?
I'm watching it for friends who went out of town.
我帮我朋友照顾他 他们有事出城去了
Hello, my name is Klunkers.
嗨 我是克朗克
May I please stay with you nice people?
我可以跟你们这些大好人 住在一起吗?
Oh, I wish he could stay here, but Chandler's allergic.
我也希望能留他住下来 但钱德对狗过敏
Extremely allergic, okay?
我对狗严重过敏 好吗?
If I am anywhere near a dog for more than five minutes...
只要我一靠近狗 超过五分钟…
...my throat will just close up.
That's odd, because this dog's been living here for the past three days.
真是奇怪 这只狗在这里住了三天
If the dog has been here that long...
...and you haven't had a reaction, maybe you're not allergic to this dog.
你一点反应都没有 或许你对他不会过敏
Well, it still has to go, right?
他还是得离开 好吗?
- Okay, it's, um... - Don't do it.
- 好吧 我… - 别那么做
- Don't do what? - I have to.
- 别做什么? - 我非说不可
Okay? It's time.
Okay, I hate dogs.
好吧 我讨厌狗
- What? - That's crazy. Why?
- 什么? - 那太疯狂了 为什么?
Told you.
They are needy...
...they are jumpy, and you can't tell what they are thinking...
爱乱跳 你不知道他们在想什么…
...and that scares me a little bit.
You're right. They are scary. Aah!
你说的对 他们很可怕
She just ate a treat out of my hand!
Wait a minute. Do you not like all dogs? I mean, not even puppies?
等一下 你不喜欢所有的狗? 连小狗都不喜欢?
Is there a puppy here?
- You don't like puppies? - Okay, you are new.
- 你不喜欢小狗? - 喂 你是新来的
Look, Chandler, I told you. Never tell anyone about this dog thing.
听着 钱德 我跟你说过 别跟其他人说你不喜欢狗
It's like Ross not liking ice cream.
- You don't like ice cream? - It's too cold.
- 你不喜欢冰淇淋? - 它太冰了
Okay, it's just that dogs make me a little uncomfortable.
Hurts my teeth.
I don't wanna say this. I don't want you guys to hate me...
我不想这么说 不希望你们讨厌我…
...but, uh, I don't think I can be around that dog anymore, okay?
但我不喜欢这只狗待在我身边 好吗?
So either the dog goes or I go. Huh.
不是那只狗走 就是我走
Oh, my God.
How can I not get this?
I'm a college professor. I got 1450 on my SATs.
我是大学教授 SAT考了1450分
Twelve fifty.
Damn, I forgot you were here.
该死 我忘了你在这里
All right. We're gonna take Klunkers to Ross'.
好吧 我们得把克朗克送到罗斯家
We'll be back in a minute.
Oh, wait, before you go, can I ask a question?
等一下 在你们离开前 我能问你们一个问题吗?
Um, when a guy breaks up with his girlfriend...
...what is an appropriate amount of time to wait before you make a move?
Oh, I'd say about a month.
- Really? I'd say three to four. - Half-hour.
- 真的吗?我觉得是三到四个月 - 半小时
When it's your assistant, I would say never.
但他是你的助理 我劝你别那么做
All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you?
好了 瑞秋 问题是 他喜欢你吗?
Right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo point.
如果他不喜欢你 这只是在对牛放屁
Huh. A "moo" point?
Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion.
对 牛不知道你做了什么
It just doesn't matter.
It's "moo."
Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?
是我跟他同居太久 还是他的话真的有道理?
Please don't listen to Joey. Okay? Would you look at him?
别听乔伊的 好吗? 看看他的样子
He's obviously depressed. He's away from his family.
他很沮丧 家人又不在身边
He's spending Thanksgiving with strangers.
What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Oh, you're right. I'm sorry. Thank you.
你说的对 对不起 谢谢
- Okay, that's what I'm going to do. - Fine, take their advice.
- 好吧 我会那么做的 - 很好 照她们的话去做
No one ever listens to me.
When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
只要包装好看 没有人会在乎内容
- Hey. - Hey.
- 嘿 - 嘿
How you holding up?
- Not bad. - Yeah?
- 还可以 - 是吗?
- I'm sorry about your girlfriend. - Thanks.
- 关于你女朋友的事我很遗憾 - 谢谢
- Were you guys together a long time? - A year, on and off.
- 你们在- 起很久了吗? - 一年了 总是分分合合的
I thought we'd end up together. I don't anymore.
我以为我们会相守一生 现在我不会那么想了
- Now that she broke up with you. - Yeah.
- 因为她跟你分手了 - 对
- Hmm. - It's weird.
- 额 - 这真的很奇怪
I always used to assume that I would meet someone and fall in love and be happy.
我以前总以为我会遇见一个人 坠入爱河 过着幸福的生活
That all that was just a given. Well, lately, it's like, what if it's not?
好像很自然而然 最近我会想如果不是那样呢?
Do you ever have that feeling?
All the time. Constantly. It's terrifying.
我常有那种感觉 一直都有 那真的很可怕
But, you know, then I figure it has to work out.
但后来我想通了 一定会发生的
Because it has to.
- You have all the answers, don't you? - Yeah, I know, I do. I really do.
- 你真的什么都知道 对吧? - 没错 我真的什么都知道
- Hey, thanks for talking to me. - Come on, what are bosses for?
- 谢谢你陪我聊 - 别这样 这不是上司的工作吗?
Hug it out.
All right, he likes you back.
好了 他也喜欢你
Huh? Told you you should go for it.
Street noise drown any of that out?
No? All right, I'll see you later. Ha, ha. Okay.
没有吗?待会见 好吧
What did Joey say? I like you back?
Uh, yeah... You know, well, see, he...
Joey knows that I'm very insecure about my back.
And... And you were hugging me...
...so obviously you are not repulsed by it. Yeah. Heh.
很明显地 你不讨厌它 没错
Wait a minute, that doesn't make any sense.
等一下 那根本就说不通
All right, here's the truth. Ahem.
好吧 事实是这样的
Joey said what he said because, um...
...I'm attracted to you.
- Wow. - Yeah, I admit it.
- 哇哦 - 对 我承认
I have a crush on you. And, uh, I know that's crazy because we work together...
我暗恋你 我知道那很疯狂 因为我们是同事
...and nothing could ever happen.
And the last thing I wanted to do was freak you out...
...or make you feel uncomfortable.
Which is why it would be really great if you said something right about now.
Oh, my God. Those guys are stealing my car.
我的天啊 那些家伙在偷我的车
- What? - Right there. That's my car.
- 什么? - 就在那边 那是我的车
- Hey! - Okay, that's gonna take a minute.
- 嘿 - 好了 他们得花点时间
Do you have anything else you wanna get off your chest?
I can't believe this.
Wait, we still have time to talk, and they're not even in the car yet.
我们还有时间谈 他们还没上车
Oh, look, there they go. Okay.
你看 他们上车了
Okay, Phoebe. We should probably go back now.
好了 菲比 或许我们该回去了
Please, don't leave me. I'll be lonely.
求求你别离开我 我会很寂寞的
Stop it. Stop.
- Okay, let's go. We can be strong. - Yeah, okay.
- 我们走吧 我们可以很坚强的 - 好吧
Oh, my God, did you hear that? She said "Monica."
天啊 你听到了吗? 他在叫"摩妮卡"
Oh, I can't leave her.
If you want, we could sneak the dog back in and Chandler wouldn't even know.
我们可以偷偷把狗带回去 钱德不会发现的
That's not gonna work.
I had that dog there for three days and Chandler had no idea.
我把小狗藏在房间里三天 钱德完全不知道
He's not so smart.
Hey. I didn't know either.
嘿 我也不知道
Yeah, but you kind of knew that something was going on, didn't you?
对 但是你觉得怪怪的 对吧?
Yeah, I knew. Heh.
没错 我知道
Where's Chandler?
- Here I am. - Wash your hands.
- 我在这里 - 快去洗手
How did you know?
Hey, what's she doing back here?
Relax, Ross. She's not made of ice cream.
别激动 罗斯 他不是冰淇淋做的
Hey, look, Phoebe. I, uh, laid out the states geographically.
听着 菲比 我照位置将各州州名排好
No, no, we don't have time for this.
We have to keep Chandler away from my room.
Yeah, but, look what I...
对 但是…
See, this is exactly what we do not have time for.
- Where's Monica? - Uh, in Phoebe's room. You can't go in.
- 摩妮卡在哪里? - 她在菲比房里 你不能进去
Why not?
Monica's crying.
She's very upset about this whole Klunkers thing.
关于克朗克的事 她非常难过
- Well, I should go in there. - No, no.
- 我应该进去的 - 不
No, she doesn't want to see you right now.
不 现在她不想见你
- Why not? - Because you sent away the dog.
- 为什么? - 因为你把那只狗赶走
- That's ridiculous. - Oh, is it? Is it?
- 那太可笑了 - 是吗?
Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover.
听着 摩妮卡跟我小时候 我们养了一只狗叫路佛
And, um, one day, my dad decides he doesn't like dogs.
So Monica and her friend... Phyllis...
...take away the dog, and that was the last time we ever saw him.
把狗送走 那是我们最后一次见到他
Don't you see? This is just like that...
...only with a few details changed.
Okay, I'm in my sweatpants.
好吧 我换了运动裤
Bring on the food.
- What's the matter? - Monica's all upset...
- 怎么了? - 摩妮卡因为…
...because I sent Klunkers away.
So? Bring the dog back. You're a hero.
所以呢?把狗抱回来 你会成为大英雄的
Yeah, I could be a hero. I could do that. I could... I could do...
对 我可以当大英雄 我可以那么做
What if it...? What if it attacks me?
Chandler, it's like a big gerbil.
钱德 他就像只大沙鼠
And that doesn't scare you?
Ross, you need some help?
罗斯 你需要帮忙吗?
From you?
Yes, please.
好的 拜托你了
First of all, Utah?
首先 犹他州?
Dude, you can't just make stuff up.
兄弟 你不能乱编州名
I hate America.
When I finish this game, I swear I am moving.
这个游戏结束后 我发誓我要搬家
- Hey. Tag still talking to the police? - Yeah.
- 嘿 泰格还在跟警察谈? - 对
Ugh, damn it. Why did I open my mouth?
该死 我为什么要说话?
"I have a crush on you. I'm attracted to you."
"我暗恋你 我被你吸引"
I know that I freaked him out.
If you said it like that, you probably did, yeah.
如果你是那种口气 他一定吓坏了
Hey, is Chandler here?
嘿 钱德在吗?
Uh, no, no, he went for a walk.
不 他去散步了
Okay, well, you cannot tell him, but look who's back.
好了 你们不能告诉他 但看看是谁回来了
- Hi. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
- 嗨 - 喔 不…
He went over to Ross' to bring the dog back here.
Oh, no, the dog's not going to be there.
不 小狗不在那里耶
You think?
Hi, honey.
嗨 甜心
Please, please, please, don't be mad at me.
- What? Why would...? - Shh. Wait and see.
- 什么?为什么…? - 等着瞧吧
Maybe we will, maybe we won't.
或许我们会 或许我们不会
Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Klunkers, you know, for you...
我跑到罗斯家 想帮你把克朗克抱回来
...and, ahem, I left the door open, and she must've gotten out.
我忘了关门 他一定是跑出去了
And I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof.
我到处都找过 找遍整栋公寓 包括屋顶
Which, FYI, Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed.
对了 罗斯 你邻居在屋顶上种大麻
I couldn't find him...
...and I am so, so, so sorry.
But I do know where we can all go ease the pain.
但我知道 怎么样能让大家忘记痛苦
We have good news. Look who's back.
我们有好消息 看看谁回来了
Klunkers. Oh, my God.
克朗克 我的天啊
- That's right. She came back all by herself. - It's a Thanksgiving miracle.
- 没错 他是自己跑回来的 - 这是感恩节奇迹
It is so good to see you.
Yeah, she came all the way back from Ross' building.
Oh, the things she must've seen.
Then she climbed up the fire escape...
...and she tapped on the window with her teeny little paw...
...and we ran to let her in.
I went too far, didn't I?
我说的太过火了 对吧?
When should I have stopped?
Okay, maybe this is so hard because there aren't 50 states.
好了 或许这个游戏很难 是因为美国没有五十州
Let me tell you something. I have 49 states.
我得告诉你一件事 我写出四十九州的州名
Now, there are no more.
Now, I think I should be able to eat something.
It's up to you.
- Oh, hi. How are you doing? - I'm okay.
- 嗨 你还好吗? - 我很好
I gotta go down to the police station and look at mug shots.
我得到警局去 指认嫌犯的照片
- Thanks for having me over, you guys. - Tag, you're going? Uh...
- 谢谢你们邀请我来这里 - 泰格 你要走了吗?
We didn't, uh, get a chance to talk.
So where did you say you're from again?
- Colorado. - Ah, what good are you?
- 科罗拉多州 - 你真是没用
Look, um, I think we should talk about what happened on the terrace.
听着 我想我们该谈谈 在阳台上发生的事
- Okay. - Uh...
- 好吧 - 额
I never should've said what I said.
You know what? It just doesn't matter how I feel.
We work together, so nothing could really ever happen between us.
我们一起工作 不应该有任何私人关系
What I would love is just to go to work on Monday and never talk about this again.
星期一我想高高兴兴去上班 再也不提这件事
Okay? Big day, Monday. Lots to do.
好了 星期一是个大日子 我们还有很多事要做
So we okay?
Um, I'm not.
- Oh, God, I knew it. I freaked you out. - No, you didn't.
- 我就知道我吓到你了 - 不 你没有
The only thing that freaked me out was you saying...
...that nothing could happen between us.
- Really? - Yeah.
- 真的吗? - 对
So please don't fire me for doing this.
请不要因为我这么做 就炒我鱿鱼
Okay, well, that's one less thing we have to do on Monday.
- All right. - I want my turkey now.
- 好吧 - 我要吃我的火鸡
You got it.
You got Nevada twice.
- I know. - Yeah.
- 我知道 - 好吧