- Phoebe. - Yeah?
- 菲比 - 干嘛
Look at that guy by the window. Wow!
He's awfully short. And I think he's talking to himself.
And to be completely honest, he's not that good in bed.
Ugh, what is wrong with me lately? It's, like, every guy I see.
Look at that guy, for example.
Normally that's not someone that I would be attracted to.
But right now, with the way I'm feeling...
...all I wanna do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Wait a second! This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right?
- Yeah. - This is completely normal.
- 对 - 这真的很正常
Around the fourth month, your hormones go crazy.
- Really? So this happened to you? - Absolutely, yeah.
- 真的吗 你也会这样 - 没错
And keep in mind, I was carrying triplets.
So in medical terms, I was thrice as randy.
Wow, this explains so much.
Last weekend, I went from store to store, sitting on Santas' laps.
Yeah, I remember trying to steal...
对 我记得我想要从运动鞋店偷走 …
...a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield from a Footlocker.
I go see my doctor tomorrow. I'll ask her about this.
Maybe she can give me a pill or something.
Yeah, that's what you need. A good pill.
对 那正是你需要的东西 你需要吃药
# So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 #
# Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 #
# It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 #
# When it hasn't been your day, #
# 日复一日 年复一年 #
# your week, your month, or even your year #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 #
# but I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# 'Cause you're there for me too #
# 你我相偎相依 #
Look, I got our pictures developed.
Oh, great. Joey, wanna check out pictures of me and Mona ice-skating?
太棒了 乔伊 你想看我跟蒙娜去溜冰的照片吗
Oh, uh, ordinarily I would love to, but I am just swamped right now.
Where are the pictures that creepy pretzel vendor took of us together?
Oh, yeah. Probably at the end.
Oh, my God. All he took were pictures of my breasts!
I'm missing picture time?
You know, she has a face, Ross.
- Okay, here's a good one of us. - Wow, that is a good one.
- 我们这张合照很不错 - 那张真的很棒
Wow, It looks like a holiday card...
...with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow. Heh.
Every year I say I'll send cards and I never do it.
Do you wanna send this one out together?
Together? Like, to people?
Yeah, "Happy Holidays, from Mona and Ross." lt'll be cute. Okay?
对 "佳节愉快 蒙娜跟罗斯上" 那一定会很棒 好吗
- Oh, I gotta get to work. Call me later? - Sure.
- 我得去上班了 待会打电话给我 - 没问题
- Bye, guys. - Bye.
- 大家再见 - 再见
Congratulations! You just got married!
I know. Can you believe that?
I'm sorry. What's the big deal about a holiday card?
Married couples send out cards. Families send out cards.
People who've been dating a few months do not send out cards. Is she crazy?
Hey, hey, hey. That's your wife you're talking about.
Bing! Ho, and the Bingette!
- Honey, you remember my boss, Doug. - Yes. Hi.
- 老婆 你记得我老板道格 - 对 嗨
So, good news, the divorce is final. I signed the papers this a.m.
好消息 我已经离婚了 我今天早上签了文件
I didn't know you were getting a divorce. I'm sorry.
Heh, sorry? Finally chewed my leg out of that bear trap.
- Hey! Congratulations to you guys. - Heh. No leg-chewing for us.
- 恭喜你们 - 我们没有离婚
So! The divorce, the marriage, we got a lot to celebrate.
How about we go out to dinner tomorrow night?
I can't think of anything we're doing.
Why can't I think of anything we're doing?
Tomorrow night it is. I should be out of court by 6.
They keep throwing sexual harassment cases at me...
...and I keep knocking them out of the park! Ha-ha-ha.
Okay, see you tomorrow.
Just so you know, we're not seeing him tomorrow.
I cannot spend another evening with that man.
Remember how he behaved at our wedding?
- No. - Because he wasn't invited.
- 不记得 - 那是因为我们没有邀请他
Because of the way he behaved at our engagement party.
Oh, yeah. Boy, urine cuts right through an ice sculpture, doesn't it?
对 他小便时直接喷中了冰雕 对吧
Hey, I went by the photo shop. Take a look.
Here is a mockup of our card. What do you think?
Huh. Wow, this is great.
Now, do you think it should say, "Love, Ross and Mona"?
Well, we haven't said that to each other yet...
...but I guess it's okay to say it to other people.
- How many did you want? I'm getting 100. - A hundred? Ha-ha-ha.
- 你要多少张 我要一百张 - 一百张
Well, I, uh, guess I'll take, uh...
Uh, I don't... I'm not sure about the whole, uh, card thing.
Sending out a holiday card together?
I just don't know if we're really quite there yet.
I didn't think of it that way. You're right. You're right.
- So can I ask you a question? - Yeah.
- 我能问你一个问题吗 - 好啊
You know, where are we? Where is this relationship going?
I mean, I love spending time with you. I hope we're moving forward.
We should talk about that, don't you think?
Let's do the card!
- What? - The card! I think we're there.
- 什么 - 卡片 我想我们到了那个地步
Okay, but I still think we should have this conversation.
Really? I mean, even with the card?
Just so you know, Dr. Long can't be here today. She was called to the hospital.
So Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.
Okay. Can I ask you a question?
Was it me, or was the guy who took my blood sample really cute? Heh.
You know who I'm talking about? Bowl haircut, hairy fingers?
你知道我在说谁吗 那个马桶盖头 手指都是毛的家伙
- Hi, Rachel. I'm Dr. Schiff. - Yes, you are.
- 你好 瑞秋 我是辛夫医生 - 你就是啊
Oh, it's really good. But enough about me! Come on. Heh.
Where are you from? What do you do?
- I'm a doctor. - Right. I meant...
- 我是医生 - 对 我是指…
...you know, in your spare time. Do you cook? Do you ski?
Or hang out with your wife or girlfriend?
Uh, I don't have a wife or girlfriend, but I do like to ski.
I love to ski! How amazing is this?
- Are you experiencing any discomfort? - No, I'm very comfortable.
- 你觉得不舒服吗 - 不 我非常舒服
- Any painful gas? - No!
- 放屁会不舒服吗 - 不会
Ew, Dr. Schiff! What kind of question is that?
Okay, then. Would you like to lie down on the table?
Would you like me to lie down on the table?
- Sorry, is there something going on here? - Do you feel it too?
- 这是怎么一回事 - 你也感觉到了吗
- Hi. - Oh, hey. So...
- 嗨 - 那个…
...how did your doctor's appointment go? - Well, let's see.
- 门诊看得如何 - 让我想一想
Uh, they gave me "cute boy" doctor today.
In the middle of the exam I put my pinkie in his chin dimple.
- Oh, my God! - Why did you do that?
- 天啊 - 你为什么要那么做
Okay, remember that problem I was having during my fourth month of pregnancy?
Oh, yeah, the Evander Holyfield phase.
Oh, man. You were so hard up, you practically came on to me.
天啊 你真的很难受 你甚至想泡我
Hey, I could've had you if I wanted you.
Oh, yeah? Come and get it.
Okay, even this is turning me on.
- Hey. - Oh, hey.
- 嘿 - 嘿
Hey, Ross. How's it going with you and Mona?
You guys still together?
Oh, yeah, we're moving forward. You'll be getting our card.
对 我们有所进展 你会接到我们的卡片
You and Mona are doing a holiday card together?
We're not just doing a card.
She also wants to have the conversation about where the relationship is going.
I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation, huh?
No self-respecting man would ask a woman, "So where is this going?"
Uh, Ross, you asked me that.
Hey, you were a closed book, okay? I'm not a mind reader!
你像是本没打开的书 好吗 我不会读心术
Besides, I hate those conversations. I'm horrible at them, really.
Maybe I need some kind of a gesture.
Something that says we're moving forward without having to talk about it.
- Like asking her to move in with you? - Wha...? Ha. Smaller than that.
- 像是请她搬去跟你一起住 - 比那个小
- Making her a mix tape? - Uh, bigger than that.
- 帮她录录音带 - 比那个大
- Give her a key to your apartment. - Whoa, hello. We were closer with the tape.
- 给她你家的钥匙 - 我们比较接近录音带
Have you said "I love you"? Say, "I love you."
I don't... I don't think I'm quite there yet.
But, oh, I could say, "I love spending time with you."
- No, we hate that. - That is a slap in the face.
- 我们讨厌那句话 - 那像是被人打了一巴掌
Oh, forget it. You know what? I'll just have the conversation.
算了 你们知道吗 我会跟她谈
I'll just say, "I like things the way they are," and hope for the best.
What do you think, Rach?
I think if it was a little colder in here...
...I could see your nipples through that sweater.
Bing, we're all set for tonight. 8:00.
Oh, uh, as it turns out, we can't do it. Monica has to work.
Oh. My ex-wife didn't work.
Unless you call turning into her mother "work."
Now, fine. Tomorrow night, then.
Oh, uh, well, tomorrow's no good for her, either.
It's the semifinals...
...bocce ball tournament.
- Ahem. - What's going on, Bing?
- 啊 - 发生了什么事 宾
Does, uh, your wife have a problem with me, or something?
Well now you're just talking crazy.
Then why can't the three of us go out together?
Because, uh, we split up.
Monica and I split up.
Well, I can't say I'm altogether surprised.
I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there.
And the way she looked at me, pure lust.
What would help me through this tough time...
...is choking someone. Can I choke you?
Bing, my boy, we're gonna get you over this.
宾 孩子 我们得让你忘了这件事
Here's the plan: Grab your coat, we're going to a strip club!
我有个计划 拿着你的外套 我们去脱衣舞俱乐部
Oh, no, Monica would freak.
But to hell with that bitch!
...I think it's time we had a conversation about where things are with us.
Yeah, I think I suggested that.
Heh. Uh, we are so...
...well, I really like you.
And I love, um, you know, hanging out with you.
And I'm having a lot of fun.
I mean, there's no point in spending time with someone if it's just fun.
It's gotta be going somewhere, right?
So where is it going?
That's the real question.
And the answer is...
...it's going somewhere...
I know what you're thinking. Fun was fine for you 10 years ago.
But you're not getting any younger.
No, I mean, not you. Not you. You are getting younger!
我不是说你 不是你 你越来越年轻了
You look like you're getting younger by the second. What's your secret?
I'm sorry, so, uh, where are we?
We're having fun. You look young.
- Okay... - But that's not enough.
- 好吧 - 但那是不够的
...here's a key to my apartment.
- Really? - Really.
- 真的吗 - 真的
You don't think this is too fast?
You gave her a key to your apartment?
Not just a key, I gave her the only key!
I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship.
- Oh, Ross, how'd the conversation go? - Great. I live on the street.
- 罗斯 你们谈的如何 - 很棒 现在我流落街头
Okay, Monica, Rachel, this is my friend Roger.
好 摩妮卡 瑞秋 他是我朋友罗杰
- Hi, Roger. - Hi, Roger.
- 嗨 罗杰 - 嗨 罗杰
- Hi. - So, um, I'm gonna get us some drinks.
- 你好 - 我去拿饮料
- Okay. - Could you help me?
Um, he's here to have sex with you.
- What? - You're welcome.
- 什么 - 别客气
It's okay. He's a virgin.
Rachel, um, I was talking to this guy...
...and I think he'll have sex with you. - Okay...
- 我想他会跟你做爱 - 这个…
Yeah, okay. Let's leave these two alone.
No. I don't care what my hormones are doing.
I'm not gonna just do it with some random guy.
Fine. Then you tell Roger. He was really looking forward to this.
好吧 那么你去告诉罗杰 因为他真的很期待
Ooh, Bing, look at those twin sisters dancing together.
Let me buy you a lap dance with those girls, huh?
That's all right, sir. And that's just one girl.
Bing, what's this?
It's a hand. It's a thing you use as a Jack and Coke holder.
No, it's a wedding ring. You gotta get rid of it.
We're gonna go to the East River and throw it in!
- Oh, no, no, no! - Yeah, yeah!
- 不 - 要
I did, and I felt a hell of a lot better!
If you whip it right, you might hit a seagull in the head.
Okay. Oh, I'm gonna need a bunch of extra keys.
Apparently, I give them away for no reason at all.
Hey, Ross, what's going on? You changing the lock?
罗斯 发生了什么事 你在换锁
You give me a key to your apartment and then change the lock?
Um, I thought we were moving forward.
And now you're sending me all these mixed signals.
What are you trying to tell me?
I'm trying to tell you...
...I made you a mix tape.
- What? - I love you.
- 什么 - 我爱你
And I love spending time with you.
- Hi, honey, I'm home. - From the tequila factory?
- 老婆 我回来了 - 你从龙舌兰酒工厂回来
To get out of dinner with Doug, I told him you and I split up.
So he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars.
And when I wouldn't give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird.
Come here. I can breathe through my mouth.
Know what the worst part was?
I got to see what my life would be like without you.
It was like It's a Wonderful Life with lap dances.
Please promise me that you'll never leave me...
...that we'll grow old together, and be with each other the rest of our lives.
Hey, speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday card this year?
Ooh, I don't know if we're there yet.
Yes, I'd like to order a pizza. Can I ask you a question?
Is the cute blond guy delivering tonight? Very "Abercrombie & Fitch."
- I'll call you back. - Who was that?
- 我再打给你 - 你在跟谁讲电话
- Just the pizza place. - You hung up on the pizza place?
- 我在订比萨 - 你挂掉比萨店的电话
I don't hang up on your friends.
- Sorry, I'm just having a rough day. - Oh. What's wrong?
- 抱歉 今天我很不好受 - 怎么了
- Oh, you really don't wanna hear about it. - Then why did I ask?
- 你不会想听的 - 不然我为什么要问
Okay. It's just that this is really embarrassing.
But lately with this pregnancy thing...
...I'm just finding myself...
How do I put this? Um...
Is that college talk for "horny"?
Yeah. So, you know, I have all of these feelings...
...and I don't know what to do about them.
Because I can't date like a normal person.
Which is fine, I don't need a relationship.
All I really want is one great night. Just sex.
You know? No strings attached. No relationship.
Just with someone I feel comfortable with and who knows what he's doing.
For just one great night. I mean, is that really so hard...
So how was your day?
Good. I, uh, saw a pretty big pigeon.
I gotta get up early, and it's almost 7:00.
Yeah, I gotta go to my room too.
- Okay, good night. - Good night!
- 晚安 - 晚安
- I can't do it! - I didn't ask you to!
- 我不能那么做 - 我没有要你那么做
- You're Rachel! - You're Joey!
- 你是瑞秋 - 你是乔伊
- You're my friend! Yeah. - Right back at you.
- 你是我的朋友 - 你也是我的朋友
Plus, it would be wrong, and weird and bad!
对 而且那是不对的 那既奇怪又糟糕
So bad! I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't ask you to do anything.
糟糕 但我不知道你在说什么 我没有要求你做什么事
- You wanna do it? - No!
- 你想做吗 - 不
- Me neither, I'm just testing you! - That's the end of this conversation!
- 我也不想 我只是在考验你 - 那么就这样了
- This conversation never happened. - Never happened.
- 我们没谈过这件事 - 没错
- Good night. - Good night!
- 晚安 - 晚安
Hi. Listen, ahem, I'm sorry about that whole thing with Roger.
听着 关于罗杰的事 我很抱歉
It really wasn't right, and I wanna make it up to you.
So, um, I brought you something...
...that I think you'll really enjoy. Okay.
Now this is just a loan, okay? I'm gonna want him back. So...
我只是借给你用 好吗 我会把它拿回去的
I'm sorry, I thought I could do it, and I can't.
抱歉 我以为我办得到 但我不能